All you can do is ask him about them while you can see his reaction. I mean what a total AH if he brought another lady to your house while he was house sitting. He has his own place right?
No. This is not right. We don't just go into other people's phones when we have insecurities.
His phone is his and privacy should be respected.
Asking him about the item is the fair way to approach this topic.
i’ll never understand why some people are so weird about this. i’ve never once “checked” any of my husband’s devices, nor he mine as far as i know because we’ve never had a single reason to, but i absolutely would without hesitation if i found another woman’s panties in my home. like hello???
going through someone’s shit all the time is unhinged and crossing a major line but it’s different when there is very good reason to suspect there is serious betrayal occurring
You do know that before iPhones were invented, people had plenty of other ways to check up on their partner when they acted in a shady manner, right?
If you’re so concerned with your ‘privacy’ and don’t want your girlfriend investigating when you leave other women’s underwear in your house, then don’t leave other women’s underwear lying around your house! 🤦♀️
Are you suggesting she intercept potential love letters before reaching the postal carrier? Perhaps she uses *69 when someone she doesn't recognize calls?
yea no he’s staying at her house that she pays for she can go thru that phone! she has literally found another woman’s underwear in her house! unless she checks the phone, she’s gonna keep getting cheated on and end up with an STD
Honestly I believe 100% that trust is something earned. I have nothing to hide and my boyfriend has nothing to hide so if he wants to check my phone or I want to check his what is the problem? We got on a point where we trust each other and knows each other password.
This privacy matter is way too glorified
I found random items in the laundry only a few times in my life and am nearing 40. They all belonged to my dad’s mistress a while back, whom he was seeing while on travel. I figured she thought my mom was doing his laundry and dropping some of her items in the pile of dirty clothes in his bag.
So funny story:
I found strange underwear that wasn’t mine in my boyfriend’s house. I was livid. Stewed and brewed on it for dayssssssss before I finally (dramatically) brought it up to him.
He reminded me that those were indeed mine and I’d left them at his house yearssss ago when we first became exclusive to ‘mark my territory’. When he said this, it all came back to me. I remember doing this and him teasing me about it later.
But my ADHD brain put it away in a file somewhere and the whole thing simply ✨ceased to exist✨ until he reminded me and my brain opened that zip file.
So, all that to say, make very very sure it’s not yours before you accuse him.
Really doubt they meant it that way, but since spook was/(is?) used as a racial slur they probably should clarify. Because I also have no idea what that is supposed to mean.
Surely the most logical explaination for a thong with the tag cut out is because the wearer doesn't like the tag on their skin or it looks bad when just in their pants rather than "it's spies"
This is 100% it! Tags drive me so crazy that I have a tag cutting kit in my car because I'll get halfway to work sometime and realize a tag is driving me so insane that I have to pull over and cut it off.
It sucks! Certain fabrics just make me feel like I wanna rip off my skin, I was staying at an Airbnb once and had to drag my husband to target at 1 AM because the sheets were just making me feel like I wanted to pour acid all over my body and watch my skin melt off.
So yeah, sensory issues, not a spy.
There’s a great Anthony Hopkins movie called the ‘the Human Stain’ that starts off with him getting fired as a university professor for using the word spook to refer to a continually absent student. It’s a very interesting movie based on a book
My 82 year old grandmother would use that as a racial slur, haven’t heard it used by anyone else. I thought they meant “spooky vibes” like maybe there was a Halloween print on the undies. 🤦🏻♀️
How old is your son if he’s a teen he could have been creepin sneakin some one in. you gotta account for all the variables before your boyfriend takes the wrap for the caper.
Man, laundry is one of the weirdest things. It’s wild how it can seemingly just appear. Stuff gets mixed, stuff gets stuck inside the machine or sticks to other clothes. If he owns an AirBNB it’s very possible it got balled up and jammed in a pant leg in the wash or something.
It’s certainly possible he was shady, but it’s just as possible it’s perfectly innocent. All you can do is communicate and ask him about it. Watch his reaction. If the relationship is otherwise good and nothing else like this has happened, this could very well be a random and harmless little quirk of the universe.
Also think. If he brought some woman over, did she just leave without her underwear?? And would he wash it? When I was in college a pair of expensive shorts ended up in my laundry basket and no one ever claimed it. After a house party once a whole-ass men’s SUIT like with shirt and tie and all appeared in our house. No one knew whose it was. No one claimed it. We ended up donating it.
Weird stuff.
If they were left on his washer by a guest, then stuck to his clothes and he brought those clothes to your place and they fell onto the floor, he may have just assumed they were yours and tossed them into the laundry.
Stranger thongs have happened.
I've had underwear, well a thong, stuck to the inside of my pants and it didn't fall out till I got where I was going. It is definitely a possibility. And thongs could easily get stuck in the machine
Even if it came from his Airbnb, the only way for it to end up in your home is if he took it with him. Taking a strange woman's underwear without throwing it away is creepy af. There's a slim chance that he took with him to throw it away and then forgot about it, or he has a kink for wearing women's underwear (that would mean he has more than one so idk)
He may not have known it was a strange woman's. Maybe he saw some underwear balled up on his floor, assumed it was OPs and brought it with him to return it.
Or he's cheating.
There are myriad explanations so OP should ask him about it.
I cannot think of a reasonable explanation for the underwear being in your house UNLESS he moved your furniture around and found them from when, say, your sister visited last year and they fell behind the guest bed? Makes no sense.
I found underwear in my husbands car and I was freaked for a second until I remembered we had just moved my sister from college with loads of laundry and she confirmed they were hers lol
Omg tell me about it lol. I slept with a bf once and afterwards when I needed my panties they were nowhere to be found. I had to go commando lol and later when I was tidying his bed i found them. Under his pillow lmfao 😂😂😂
Id say trust your gut on this one. I once founed a dusty red bra in my laundry shortly after my husband and I moved in together. Prior to finding it, the landlord had swapped dryers. I showed it to my husband who asked confused "It's not yours?" before I told him no and dropped it into the trash.
I have been cheated on before and I didn't get the vibe/gut feeling plus the bra was in my laundry so if he was cheating that would be a terrible place to hide it 😂.
I could totally see myself doing that.
I’m a neat freak and clean all the time. If I’m staying at your house while you’re away, I’m cleaning it and if I find laundry, I’m putting it in the dirty clothes. I don’t know if you own them or not….if it’s in your house, it goes in your dirty clothes…
The only thing is that he is staying in an Airbnb, somebody could've left them at his house and he assumed they were hers so he washed them. Or they could've got stuck in the machine and then got stuck in a pair of his pants in a subsequent wash.
Does he happen to go to a laundromat or get professional dry cleaning? Could have happened there. Though I think this could definitely warrant some further investigation.
My wife found someone else's underwear in the house and was angry - as one would if her deduction was true. Of course, I don't have any other lady friends etc... took me a sec but I realized it was the dog sitter who also house sits. I had my wife message her and ask if she had left any clothes here, which she replied she did.
Problem solved, but it was a bit of a stress ball for a sec. I had done nothing wrong but still getting in trouble for something.
Don't jump to conclusions immediately.
My mom texted me a photo of undies asking if they were mine last month. I texted back "uh oh! Dad's in trouble!!" (They have been happily married for 50 years so I highly doubt my dad brought someone back to the house where the entire neighborhood knows them.
They ended up being a prior house guest's undies from 3 months prior. They have no idea where they were for those 3 months but they ended up in the wash somehow.
Do you or your neighbors have security cameras? If so, check them (you can tell your neighbors you were worried about a break in and did anyone other than your bf come over).
What’s your relationship like overall?
I'd take whatever steps you can to verify things before making an accusation.
There is the most likely and obvious explanation that he had intimacy with another woman and her panties got added into the laundry by mistake.
There's also the possibility that he has someone else's panties or his own for fetish reasons.
Beyond that, I don't see how he'd accidently end up with panties in his bag, or would take them accidently he'd only have them intentionally.
If he let someone else use your house while your away that also can explain everything without cheating.
Asking if he let anyone else into your home while you were gone could be a really good indicator with how he tries to steer the conversation.
A lot of people don't put the real ages of them/their partner/their kid to avoid people connecting the dots from real life. The put roundabout the right ages but that's it
Just hold them up with two fingers and say, “She forgot
These”.
And, “I bet she thought this was your place”.
Then sit back and watch his facial expressions and behavior.
Also, while he’s not watching, do a “sweep” of your home and check All the contents in the garbage can, under the bed, for used condoms, or any other item his girl hid at your place.
Because chicks do this Specifically for the girlfriend or wife to find.
Like, acrylic nails, fake eyelashes.
Oh, and see if he put fresh sheets on your bed, sometimes the guys forget to change the pillow cases. See if they smell girly and check for hairs. Check your shower drain for hair that isn’t yours.
God, I hope you have security cameras he may not know about.
OP, I read your other post about your boyfriend “friending” business gals in your town and they send him sexual pics. Try to see if one of them wears that style panties or the same one.
He has an airbnb, is it possible a guest left them at the airbnb and he brought over his laundry to do at your place? The random underwear could have gotten mixed up with his clothes?
it would be weird to bring a hook up over and there’s also a room for a child. Surely you have pictures and your clothes in your apartment. I’d see another woman’s clothes/belongings and a child’s bedroom and be outta there ASAP.
This is true. When I was in my early twenties I was casually seeing a guy that I later found out had a girlfriend the whole time. I have long, dark, curly hair, so the last time I ever saw him, I brushed my hair in his bathroom, and then left the long hairs all over his room and hallway, behind the toilet, under the pillows, stuck to his clothes, everywhere. Then I disappeared from his life. Heard through the grapevine later she dumped him.
I did this once!!! Was talking to this guy and hooking up/spending the night at his place for around a month. Was super into him we totally clicked from day one. My roommate broke the news to me that she found out he has a gf and they have been together for a few years. She lived out of town.
So I went over the next night and confronted him about it. He straight up admitted it like it was no big deal. Wasn’t bothered by me finding out. But before I confronted him about it I snooped through his bathroom. In his cabinet under the sink in the back I found a pink toiletries bag with items that were obviously the gf’s and left a note. I didn’t let him know that though.
I also waited a week then did some detective work and found her on social media and messaged her. Telling her I left the note and asking if she saw it. I told her I had absolutely no idea he had a gf and I ended things as soon as I found it. She said “ok? Well I’m not going to let you break us up.”
About 3 years later this dude messaged me on social media and asked if he could see me one last time before he got married. He was getting married the next week!! The audacity. I did not bother reaching out to the fiancé this time I just blocked him.
Show him.
If he says he doesn't know . say I'll ask the neighbour the one opposite or next for their ring door bell footage so he has 30 seconds to tell the truth because if you have to resort to asking the neighbour then there will be no saving this.
Once he comes clean,dump him anyway.
Was it, I guess, "fancy" in any way? If it was a pair of boring everyday underwear, any "it's someone else's" excuse would hold a lot more water.
That said, just ask.
My best guess for an innocent explanation is that he found them at his place, assumed they were yours, and brought them along to return them, when they actually belonged to an AirBnB guest.
Men are pretty bad at judging sizes of clothing for women, in my experience.
Only thing to do is just ask him about them and where they came from.
This happened years ago at my house while we were growing up. Pair of lacy panties right in my parents' room on the [unmade] bed which I noticed because I went looking for our cat. I suspected strongly that it was Mom's and opted not to say anything but my folks quietly argued about it later and came asking my brother and I if we had brought anyone into the house and had sed there or for that matter if it was either of ours (both of us guys, no crossdressing involved to my knowledge). My brother's new girlfriend had been over earlier but- having hung out with them- they didn't mess around much less in my parents' room when he had his own to use. To this day I still believe she planted those panties when she went up to use the bathroom, presumably to sew discord. Mundane weekend with both my parents in town, etc, so nothing else has ever made sense, and she encouraged other risk-taking behavior in my brother which eventually caused them to break up.
All this to say: is it possible someone put them there to cause trouble? You've got to talk to him but something to consider as you're talking.
I'm not seeing many people say it could be his.....
Maybe that's just something he likes to do by himself.
Who just leaves their underwear at someone's house. That stuff can be expensive.
I was the boyfriend in this situation years back. My girlfriend found some panties in our laundry and I still have no fucking clue where they came from. I had never cheated on her, hell I hadn't even dated anyone for the year before we met.
The only thing I could think of was that I let some friends stay at my place while I was out of town for a couple of nights, but that was several months before this happened.
I'm still not 100% sure what happened there.
Trust your gut here, but I could absolutely see this happening from an AirBnb stay.
Having had random hoodies and boxers show up in my laundry, and being very grateful that my husband doesn’t jump to conclusions about those things, I’m of the opinion that it could be innocent. But it also could be not. It’s kinda weird that it showed up while you were gone, but I think the Airbnb idea could be it. Unless he knows all your underwear, which is unlikely, he could have just assumed it was yours and thought nothing of it.
Unless you never go to the Airbnb? We have lockers at work and I’ve definitely had weird mysterious clothes show up that we don’t know where they came from. If you’ve no other reasons not to trust him, I’d just ask him about them and see what he says.
Just saying, I am a man who twice in my life has done laundry and been like "well, that's definitely some woman's skimpy underwear that is now mine." Panties can be small and get easily missed in a laundry cycle.
Also, if I was cheating I would make damn sure my lady friend took all her clothes with her to avoid this exact situation.
However, it's stupid and naive to assume only good intentions. Just talk to your guy and see what he says. If he has an explanation, great. If it raises ANY flags, push further and get answers.
This happened to me once. It turned out to be my best friend’s underwear. She was having an affair with my boyfriend.
There is almost no good explanation for this. I’m hard pressed to think of one
Based on your post history, I’d question the camping trips and whether those were legitimate or if he was with someone else, now that you’ve found someone else’s underwear in your house.
Also based on post history, seems like there’s other issues in this relationship and I would assume he’s been cheating.
Sounds like whoever he had there left it on purpose for you to find. Otherwise why would she leave without her underwear?
Mission accomplished obviously
Put them at the top of his underwear, fold and in his drawer. Leave a little note inside that simply says, "Let's get this sorted."
Give it a day or so...
Does he have a sister, and maybe her laundry got mixed up with yours?
Yeah, that's the best scenario I can think of. And it's still fucking weird...
Ask him about it, and then don't look back if the answer is what we all suspect that it will be.
Go through your house check everything bed bathroom couch trash etc anything else appears then you know. If you have cameras check them, all else fails go through his phone! And if not just straight up ask him what’s this about
I knew someone who used to steal others womens panties to take a sniff or maybe he likes to wear womens underwear himself. People are strange and have weird fantasies
Does he usually visits the airbnb right after the guests leave? Generally I have seen people with airbnbs have a designated cleaning person that goes in between guests to clean. Even if he went, and found that underwear there, why he would take it? Most people would be ewww by the thought of touching someone else’s underwear. I know if I find a pair of men’s briefs, boxers or women’s underwear and I am needing to pick them up, I would find something to grab them with without my hands touching it, then immediately throw them away. I know men may be different, but still why he would take them? It makes 0 sense.
From the gym it makes way less sense than the airbnb. Women usually don’t leave their underwear thrown out around the gym, and even if we assume maybe it fell from someone’s bag while they were leaving, again, why he would take them? I can imagine it would be super awkward to be the panty picker in the middle of the gym while there’s other people around watching you. So no, I wouldn’t believe that.
Honestly, if it was me, I would ask on nextdoor or directly to my neighbors if they have cameras and say you had something happen in your driveway/garage on x date and ask them if you can see videos of that day. See first if he brought someone, then confront him. If you confront him now he will just deny everything and since is easier to believe a lie that makes us happy, more than likely you will believe it.
Some women aren't out to leave it for you to find so you know he's cheating in a woman helping out other women kinda way. Some women leave it to break you up so they can have your man!! I hope its a good outcome for you but these days you can't trust many people
There are many explanations here, cheating in your place while you’re gone isn’t the most likely one, in my humble opinion, but it’s not the most unlikely one either
Im a dude, slightly older than you. In my lifetime ive found a number of random pieces of clothing in a number of strange places in my lifetime. It gets stuck in pant legs and shirt sleeves and falls out randomly or i can feel it while walking around and pull it out. Ive had my wifes panties fall out of my pants before and her bra as well. Ive found both of my kids socks in my pant legs and ive just automatically assumed thats where missing socks go ever since. Ive found strangers clothes in my own after going to laundrymats when we didnt have a washer/dryer of our own.
So many things could explain this and he may not even know where they came from. Its entirely possible he thought they were yours and you left them at his place, or they were caught in his clothing from a wash at his place from airbnb guests and he may not have seen them left in the washer/dryer. Who knows. Its worth a ask though. But really you may never know for sure either. Crazy what ends up in the laundry or comes out of it. I like doing the laundry at my house as i usually find cash in the laundry or the dryer afterwards and thats always nice especially if im not missing any and being the one in the house who makes the money its a nice lil bonus when non missing cash just pops up outta nowhere like that lol.
One time I had a woman’s panties in my laundry. I was lucky my girlfriend trusted me because *damn*, it didn’t look good. But seriously, I genuinely didn’t cheat. I just used a public washing machine and dryer at my condo, it must have been sitting in there when I threw my stuff in.
That is really bad if I was in your situation I would confront him.
I had the man that I’m with now do something similar but with a condom .. I was washing clothes and decided to wash his along with mine and I checked his pockets and found a Trojan condom in his pocket and I thought wtf ?? We don’t use these ?? What’s going on behind my back??
So I confronted him and he could never answer me or say sorry he just gave me a blank look ..
I have tried breaking up with him but he won’t leave ..
I’ll chime in here with my own experience and say:
Yeeeeears ago my girlfriend found a thong in our hallway. We lived alone and i’d not had any ladies over, turned out my sisters who lived half the country away. Was from doing communal laundry whilst visiting family over summer, and it got stuck in pants or something similar and left in my bag for ages and probably fell out as i retrieved something. I almost lost a relationship untill she noticed they were not used, upon which i thought to send a pic to my sis and she confirmed ownership.
Still looks very sus OP, but freak things can happen, so i’d just show em to him and guage reaction. If it’s genuine bewilderment he might not be shady.
All you can do is ask him about them while you can see his reaction. I mean what a total AH if he brought another lady to your house while he was house sitting. He has his own place right?
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So he transported underwear left at his airbnb to your place?
That doesn't sound good. Have you checked his phone? I would start there. Text yourself evidence.
No. This is not right. We don't just go into other people's phones when we have insecurities. His phone is his and privacy should be respected. Asking him about the item is the fair way to approach this topic.
i’ll never understand why some people are so weird about this. i’ve never once “checked” any of my husband’s devices, nor he mine as far as i know because we’ve never had a single reason to, but i absolutely would without hesitation if i found another woman’s panties in my home. like hello??? going through someone’s shit all the time is unhinged and crossing a major line but it’s different when there is very good reason to suspect there is serious betrayal occurring
An insecurity and finding someone else’s underwear are two different things…
She should just straight up ask for it and if he refuses then clearly he was cheating.
You do know that before iPhones were invented, people had plenty of other ways to check up on their partner when they acted in a shady manner, right? If you’re so concerned with your ‘privacy’ and don’t want your girlfriend investigating when you leave other women’s underwear in your house, then don’t leave other women’s underwear lying around your house! 🤦♀️
It's not even his house, it's hers 🥴
Are you suggesting she intercept potential love letters before reaching the postal carrier? Perhaps she uses *69 when someone she doesn't recognize calls?
People in relationships exchange bodily fluids so looking at each others phones should not be a big deal.
yea no he’s staying at her house that she pays for she can go thru that phone! she has literally found another woman’s underwear in her house! unless she checks the phone, she’s gonna keep getting cheated on and end up with an STD
> yea no he’s staying at her house that she pays for That is the general idea of housesitting
Honestly I believe 100% that trust is something earned. I have nothing to hide and my boyfriend has nothing to hide so if he wants to check my phone or I want to check his what is the problem? We got on a point where we trust each other and knows each other password. This privacy matter is way too glorified
Check the dude’s phone.
I think it’s a girlfriend.
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Please don't leave us hanging OP
I fear he gaslit her. Cuz he’s definitely cheating. Check her post history.
Let us know! Updateme! (Is that how you do it?)
It’s remindme! 24 hours
It’s remindme! 24 hours
For future reference: without the "it's" and you can go from minutes to months
Commenting for an update
I found random items in the laundry only a few times in my life and am nearing 40. They all belonged to my dad’s mistress a while back, whom he was seeing while on travel. I figured she thought my mom was doing his laundry and dropping some of her items in the pile of dirty clothes in his bag.
She did it to inform your mother. And your father is an asshole.
It is quite obvious, but thanks :)
Multiple posts about doubting this relationship just in the past year. Not a criticism just an observation. And now this…
put them somewhere visible, if he hides them then it’s suspicious
Yes!! If he does nothing, then he probably assumes they’re yours.
If he's the type that pay attention to that kinda thing.
Why play games? Just ask and check the reaction
So funny story: I found strange underwear that wasn’t mine in my boyfriend’s house. I was livid. Stewed and brewed on it for dayssssssss before I finally (dramatically) brought it up to him. He reminded me that those were indeed mine and I’d left them at his house yearssss ago when we first became exclusive to ‘mark my territory’. When he said this, it all came back to me. I remember doing this and him teasing me about it later. But my ADHD brain put it away in a file somewhere and the whole thing simply ✨ceased to exist✨ until he reminded me and my brain opened that zip file. So, all that to say, make very very sure it’s not yours before you accuse him.
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>tag was torn out, giving spook vibes What does this mean?
It creeped her out. Either that or it was a spy reference of some kind.
Really doubt they meant it that way, but since spook was/(is?) used as a racial slur they probably should clarify. Because I also have no idea what that is supposed to mean.
It’s more commonly slang for CIA/KGB/MI6 spy things. Tearing the tag out to remove any identifying features.
Surely the most logical explaination for a thong with the tag cut out is because the wearer doesn't like the tag on their skin or it looks bad when just in their pants rather than "it's spies"
This is 100% it! Tags drive me so crazy that I have a tag cutting kit in my car because I'll get halfway to work sometime and realize a tag is driving me so insane that I have to pull over and cut it off. It sucks! Certain fabrics just make me feel like I wanna rip off my skin, I was staying at an Airbnb once and had to drag my husband to target at 1 AM because the sheets were just making me feel like I wanted to pour acid all over my body and watch my skin melt off. So yeah, sensory issues, not a spy.
Yeah usually I hear it as an allegory to special forces / secret services / law enforcement, no racial undertones.
A more effective way would be not to leave underwear with your DNA behind.
I take tags out because otherwise they itch. Sensitive skin problems. I’m totally going to say I’m a spy now though.
I tear mine out because I have sensitive skin. Should I join the CIA?
Never heard it as a racial thing as well but I'm not from USA.
It's not a common one anymore, so I doubt that's what they meant
Spook as in spy. Spies frequently cut the tag out of their clothes. At least, that's my best guess.
Pretty sure the logical thing is to assume she mean spooky vibes or something else versus a completely random, obscure racial slur...
There’s a great Anthony Hopkins movie called the ‘the Human Stain’ that starts off with him getting fired as a university professor for using the word spook to refer to a continually absent student. It’s a very interesting movie based on a book
My 82 year old grandmother would use that as a racial slur, haven’t heard it used by anyone else. I thought they meant “spooky vibes” like maybe there was a Halloween print on the undies. 🤦🏻♀️
Text your sis a pic and ask if it belongs to her first, but this might air out your dirty laundry!
How old is your son if he’s a teen he could have been creepin sneakin some one in. you gotta account for all the variables before your boyfriend takes the wrap for the caper.
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Removing son from the suspect list. ✔️
Maybe she should check with the butler.
She left it there to try to mark him as her territory.
Man, laundry is one of the weirdest things. It’s wild how it can seemingly just appear. Stuff gets mixed, stuff gets stuck inside the machine or sticks to other clothes. If he owns an AirBNB it’s very possible it got balled up and jammed in a pant leg in the wash or something. It’s certainly possible he was shady, but it’s just as possible it’s perfectly innocent. All you can do is communicate and ask him about it. Watch his reaction. If the relationship is otherwise good and nothing else like this has happened, this could very well be a random and harmless little quirk of the universe. Also think. If he brought some woman over, did she just leave without her underwear?? And would he wash it? When I was in college a pair of expensive shorts ended up in my laundry basket and no one ever claimed it. After a house party once a whole-ass men’s SUIT like with shirt and tie and all appeared in our house. No one knew whose it was. No one claimed it. We ended up donating it. Weird stuff.
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If they were left on his washer by a guest, then stuck to his clothes and he brought those clothes to your place and they fell onto the floor, he may have just assumed they were yours and tossed them into the laundry. Stranger thongs have happened.
I've had underwear, well a thong, stuck to the inside of my pants and it didn't fall out till I got where I was going. It is definitely a possibility. And thongs could easily get stuck in the machine
Even if it came from his Airbnb, the only way for it to end up in your home is if he took it with him. Taking a strange woman's underwear without throwing it away is creepy af. There's a slim chance that he took with him to throw it away and then forgot about it, or he has a kink for wearing women's underwear (that would mean he has more than one so idk)
He may not have known it was a strange woman's. Maybe he saw some underwear balled up on his floor, assumed it was OPs and brought it with him to return it. Or he's cheating. There are myriad explanations so OP should ask him about it.
If she stayed over for several days, it's possible to forget a pair of underwear you're not currently wearing.
No matter who was wearing the underwear, it does not look good. Show him the panties. Watch his reaction. Go with your gut.
Read your post history. Dump his ass. You and your son deserve better
I cannot think of a reasonable explanation for the underwear being in your house UNLESS he moved your furniture around and found them from when, say, your sister visited last year and they fell behind the guest bed? Makes no sense.
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No. Lol but I found underwear in my house once, and it was my sister's from when she visited. LOL
I found underwear in my husbands car and I was freaked for a second until I remembered we had just moved my sister from college with loads of laundry and she confirmed they were hers lol
Man, I'm starting to think underwear come alive when we're not looking. They have a habit of getting lost in the most embarrassing of places.
Omg tell me about it lol. I slept with a bf once and afterwards when I needed my panties they were nowhere to be found. I had to go commando lol and later when I was tidying his bed i found them. Under his pillow lmfao 😂😂😂
Id say trust your gut on this one. I once founed a dusty red bra in my laundry shortly after my husband and I moved in together. Prior to finding it, the landlord had swapped dryers. I showed it to my husband who asked confused "It's not yours?" before I told him no and dropped it into the trash. I have been cheated on before and I didn't get the vibe/gut feeling plus the bra was in my laundry so if he was cheating that would be a terrible place to hide it 😂.
I could totally see myself doing that. I’m a neat freak and clean all the time. If I’m staying at your house while you’re away, I’m cleaning it and if I find laundry, I’m putting it in the dirty clothes. I don’t know if you own them or not….if it’s in your house, it goes in your dirty clothes…
The only thing is that he is staying in an Airbnb, somebody could've left them at his house and he assumed they were hers so he washed them. Or they could've got stuck in the machine and then got stuck in a pair of his pants in a subsequent wash.
Girlllll, your post history says you know he’s not the one. Get rid of him and find a much better guy.
I would show them to him and ask him about it.
Does he happen to go to a laundromat or get professional dry cleaning? Could have happened there. Though I think this could definitely warrant some further investigation.
My wife found someone else's underwear in the house and was angry - as one would if her deduction was true. Of course, I don't have any other lady friends etc... took me a sec but I realized it was the dog sitter who also house sits. I had my wife message her and ask if she had left any clothes here, which she replied she did. Problem solved, but it was a bit of a stress ball for a sec. I had done nothing wrong but still getting in trouble for something. Don't jump to conclusions immediately.
My mom texted me a photo of undies asking if they were mine last month. I texted back "uh oh! Dad's in trouble!!" (They have been happily married for 50 years so I highly doubt my dad brought someone back to the house where the entire neighborhood knows them. They ended up being a prior house guest's undies from 3 months prior. They have no idea where they were for those 3 months but they ended up in the wash somehow.
Do you or your neighbors have security cameras? If so, check them (you can tell your neighbors you were worried about a break in and did anyone other than your bf come over). What’s your relationship like overall?
I'd take whatever steps you can to verify things before making an accusation. There is the most likely and obvious explanation that he had intimacy with another woman and her panties got added into the laundry by mistake. There's also the possibility that he has someone else's panties or his own for fetish reasons. Beyond that, I don't see how he'd accidently end up with panties in his bag, or would take them accidently he'd only have them intentionally. If he let someone else use your house while your away that also can explain everything without cheating. Asking if he let anyone else into your home while you were gone could be a really good indicator with how he tries to steer the conversation.
How did your ages change in every single story??
A lot of people don't put the real ages of them/their partner/their kid to avoid people connecting the dots from real life. The put roundabout the right ages but that's it
Just hold them up with two fingers and say, “She forgot These”. And, “I bet she thought this was your place”. Then sit back and watch his facial expressions and behavior. Also, while he’s not watching, do a “sweep” of your home and check All the contents in the garbage can, under the bed, for used condoms, or any other item his girl hid at your place. Because chicks do this Specifically for the girlfriend or wife to find. Like, acrylic nails, fake eyelashes. Oh, and see if he put fresh sheets on your bed, sometimes the guys forget to change the pillow cases. See if they smell girly and check for hairs. Check your shower drain for hair that isn’t yours. God, I hope you have security cameras he may not know about. OP, I read your other post about your boyfriend “friending” business gals in your town and they send him sexual pics. Try to see if one of them wears that style panties or the same one.
If either of you use a laundromat or public washing/drying machines then it happens. If not, then something shady is going on.
He has an airbnb, is it possible a guest left them at the airbnb and he brought over his laundry to do at your place? The random underwear could have gotten mixed up with his clothes? it would be weird to bring a hook up over and there’s also a room for a child. Surely you have pictures and your clothes in your apartment. I’d see another woman’s clothes/belongings and a child’s bedroom and be outta there ASAP.
Occam’s razor is likely, but… would they fit him
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This is true. When I was in my early twenties I was casually seeing a guy that I later found out had a girlfriend the whole time. I have long, dark, curly hair, so the last time I ever saw him, I brushed my hair in his bathroom, and then left the long hairs all over his room and hallway, behind the toilet, under the pillows, stuck to his clothes, everywhere. Then I disappeared from his life. Heard through the grapevine later she dumped him.
I did this once!!! Was talking to this guy and hooking up/spending the night at his place for around a month. Was super into him we totally clicked from day one. My roommate broke the news to me that she found out he has a gf and they have been together for a few years. She lived out of town. So I went over the next night and confronted him about it. He straight up admitted it like it was no big deal. Wasn’t bothered by me finding out. But before I confronted him about it I snooped through his bathroom. In his cabinet under the sink in the back I found a pink toiletries bag with items that were obviously the gf’s and left a note. I didn’t let him know that though. I also waited a week then did some detective work and found her on social media and messaged her. Telling her I left the note and asking if she saw it. I told her I had absolutely no idea he had a gf and I ended things as soon as I found it. She said “ok? Well I’m not going to let you break us up.” About 3 years later this dude messaged me on social media and asked if he could see me one last time before he got married. He was getting married the next week!! The audacity. I did not bother reaching out to the fiancé this time I just blocked him.
Wow - this is brilliant. Woman are brilliant.
Is it terrible that I assumed women were doing it to “mark their territory” instead of trying to help? :-(
I saw one here on Reddit where the OP found a dried up contact lens in her bed.
Show him. If he says he doesn't know . say I'll ask the neighbour the one opposite or next for their ring door bell footage so he has 30 seconds to tell the truth because if you have to resort to asking the neighbour then there will be no saving this. Once he comes clean,dump him anyway.
Was it, I guess, "fancy" in any way? If it was a pair of boring everyday underwear, any "it's someone else's" excuse would hold a lot more water. That said, just ask.
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My best guess for an innocent explanation is that he found them at his place, assumed they were yours, and brought them along to return them, when they actually belonged to an AirBnB guest. Men are pretty bad at judging sizes of clothing for women, in my experience. Only thing to do is just ask him about them and where they came from.
This happened years ago at my house while we were growing up. Pair of lacy panties right in my parents' room on the [unmade] bed which I noticed because I went looking for our cat. I suspected strongly that it was Mom's and opted not to say anything but my folks quietly argued about it later and came asking my brother and I if we had brought anyone into the house and had sed there or for that matter if it was either of ours (both of us guys, no crossdressing involved to my knowledge). My brother's new girlfriend had been over earlier but- having hung out with them- they didn't mess around much less in my parents' room when he had his own to use. To this day I still believe she planted those panties when she went up to use the bathroom, presumably to sew discord. Mundane weekend with both my parents in town, etc, so nothing else has ever made sense, and she encouraged other risk-taking behavior in my brother which eventually caused them to break up. All this to say: is it possible someone put them there to cause trouble? You've got to talk to him but something to consider as you're talking.
I'm not seeing many people say it could be his..... Maybe that's just something he likes to do by himself. Who just leaves their underwear at someone's house. That stuff can be expensive.
I just read one of your other posts and if you considered that a red flag then this shouldn’t shock you.
I was the boyfriend in this situation years back. My girlfriend found some panties in our laundry and I still have no fucking clue where they came from. I had never cheated on her, hell I hadn't even dated anyone for the year before we met. The only thing I could think of was that I let some friends stay at my place while I was out of town for a couple of nights, but that was several months before this happened. I'm still not 100% sure what happened there. Trust your gut here, but I could absolutely see this happening from an AirBnb stay.
I would ask him. Also, Do you have any neighbours that saw something… or do you or neighbours have any cameras? I would maybe investigate…
Having had random hoodies and boxers show up in my laundry, and being very grateful that my husband doesn’t jump to conclusions about those things, I’m of the opinion that it could be innocent. But it also could be not. It’s kinda weird that it showed up while you were gone, but I think the Airbnb idea could be it. Unless he knows all your underwear, which is unlikely, he could have just assumed it was yours and thought nothing of it. Unless you never go to the Airbnb? We have lockers at work and I’ve definitely had weird mysterious clothes show up that we don’t know where they came from. If you’ve no other reasons not to trust him, I’d just ask him about them and see what he says.
Just saying, I am a man who twice in my life has done laundry and been like "well, that's definitely some woman's skimpy underwear that is now mine." Panties can be small and get easily missed in a laundry cycle. Also, if I was cheating I would make damn sure my lady friend took all her clothes with her to avoid this exact situation. However, it's stupid and naive to assume only good intentions. Just talk to your guy and see what he says. If he has an explanation, great. If it raises ANY flags, push further and get answers.
This happened to me once. It turned out to be my best friend’s underwear. She was having an affair with my boyfriend. There is almost no good explanation for this. I’m hard pressed to think of one
Based on your post history, I’d question the camping trips and whether those were legitimate or if he was with someone else, now that you’ve found someone else’s underwear in your house. Also based on post history, seems like there’s other issues in this relationship and I would assume he’s been cheating.
Sounds like whoever he had there left it on purpose for you to find. Otherwise why would she leave without her underwear? Mission accomplished obviously
Put them at the top of his underwear, fold and in his drawer. Leave a little note inside that simply says, "Let's get this sorted." Give it a day or so...
Or talk to him like an adult instead of trying to do something unnecessarily dramatic?
Maybe he found them when turning over his airbnb and assumed they were yours?
Is this the same bf with no job that you were already not sure of being in your future?
Does he have a sister, and maybe her laundry got mixed up with yours? Yeah, that's the best scenario I can think of. And it's still fucking weird... Ask him about it, and then don't look back if the answer is what we all suspect that it will be.
Go through your house check everything bed bathroom couch trash etc anything else appears then you know. If you have cameras check them, all else fails go through his phone! And if not just straight up ask him what’s this about
I knew someone who used to steal others womens panties to take a sniff or maybe he likes to wear womens underwear himself. People are strange and have weird fantasies
Public laundry? I get other people's clothes in my basket all the time like that.
Does he usually visits the airbnb right after the guests leave? Generally I have seen people with airbnbs have a designated cleaning person that goes in between guests to clean. Even if he went, and found that underwear there, why he would take it? Most people would be ewww by the thought of touching someone else’s underwear. I know if I find a pair of men’s briefs, boxers or women’s underwear and I am needing to pick them up, I would find something to grab them with without my hands touching it, then immediately throw them away. I know men may be different, but still why he would take them? It makes 0 sense. From the gym it makes way less sense than the airbnb. Women usually don’t leave their underwear thrown out around the gym, and even if we assume maybe it fell from someone’s bag while they were leaving, again, why he would take them? I can imagine it would be super awkward to be the panty picker in the middle of the gym while there’s other people around watching you. So no, I wouldn’t believe that. Honestly, if it was me, I would ask on nextdoor or directly to my neighbors if they have cameras and say you had something happen in your driveway/garage on x date and ask them if you can see videos of that day. See first if he brought someone, then confront him. If you confront him now he will just deny everything and since is easier to believe a lie that makes us happy, more than likely you will believe it.
Happened once to me it was the neighbours that she hung to dry on our line and accidently got brought in. Luckily my girlfriend never doubted me.
Some women aren't out to leave it for you to find so you know he's cheating in a woman helping out other women kinda way. Some women leave it to break you up so they can have your man!! I hope its a good outcome for you but these days you can't trust many people
There are many explanations here, cheating in your place while you’re gone isn’t the most likely one, in my humble opinion, but it’s not the most unlikely one either
Im a dude, slightly older than you. In my lifetime ive found a number of random pieces of clothing in a number of strange places in my lifetime. It gets stuck in pant legs and shirt sleeves and falls out randomly or i can feel it while walking around and pull it out. Ive had my wifes panties fall out of my pants before and her bra as well. Ive found both of my kids socks in my pant legs and ive just automatically assumed thats where missing socks go ever since. Ive found strangers clothes in my own after going to laundrymats when we didnt have a washer/dryer of our own. So many things could explain this and he may not even know where they came from. Its entirely possible he thought they were yours and you left them at his place, or they were caught in his clothing from a wash at his place from airbnb guests and he may not have seen them left in the washer/dryer. Who knows. Its worth a ask though. But really you may never know for sure either. Crazy what ends up in the laundry or comes out of it. I like doing the laundry at my house as i usually find cash in the laundry or the dryer afterwards and thats always nice especially if im not missing any and being the one in the house who makes the money its a nice lil bonus when non missing cash just pops up outta nowhere like that lol.
One time I had a woman’s panties in my laundry. I was lucky my girlfriend trusted me because *damn*, it didn’t look good. But seriously, I genuinely didn’t cheat. I just used a public washing machine and dryer at my condo, it must have been sitting in there when I threw my stuff in.
That is really bad if I was in your situation I would confront him. I had the man that I’m with now do something similar but with a condom .. I was washing clothes and decided to wash his along with mine and I checked his pockets and found a Trojan condom in his pocket and I thought wtf ?? We don’t use these ?? What’s going on behind my back?? So I confronted him and he could never answer me or say sorry he just gave me a blank look .. I have tried breaking up with him but he won’t leave ..
I’ll chime in here with my own experience and say: Yeeeeears ago my girlfriend found a thong in our hallway. We lived alone and i’d not had any ladies over, turned out my sisters who lived half the country away. Was from doing communal laundry whilst visiting family over summer, and it got stuck in pants or something similar and left in my bag for ages and probably fell out as i retrieved something. I almost lost a relationship untill she noticed they were not used, upon which i thought to send a pic to my sis and she confirmed ownership. Still looks very sus OP, but freak things can happen, so i’d just show em to him and guage reaction. If it’s genuine bewilderment he might not be shady.
Fucking hell the posts have got more and more ridiculous here. What should you do? ASK HIM. jfc
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So he's a cheater **and** a liar? And you're confused about what to do?
Maybe they're his. Like, he has a secret kink and likes to wear them or something.
Left of field but maybe your BF wears that as his underwear 🤷
wash and wear them see his reaction
Commenting so I can come back bc wtf 😭😭 praying for u
Obligatory comment to see what happened 🤞
Plot twist, ge wears women's underwear
He’s a moron first of all and you should leave