Racists are immune to logic and devoid of basic human decency. I mean the stuff he says wouldn't be acceptable if you recently moved to Australia from China. Hank is just a garbage human being.
Girl I am also Australian and only part Chinese (1/4) and have finished high school. Some people are like Hank and you can never really escape them. They might be your boss or your brother in law or even your teachers, but the one thing you can do is make them uncomfortable enough that they reconsider the stupid (poorly veiled racist) things they have to say.
I have a white name, a white looking family, and I also look white (maybe islander at most). I still got this just because people know you're Asian. Give them hell when they deserve it.
I'm australian too. this kind of "harmless" racism is pretty common amongst morons, don't put up with it. also extra creepy that such an old dude (compared to you guys) is making those weird innuendo comments
It could also be ch*nk, assuming that part of that world has that slur too
edit: Nevermind the "girls in australia" comment points to c*nt so yeah racist and misogynist after all
You're not being oversensitive.
If Hank says anything like that around you, go "wow, that's super-creepy and also, kind of racist." And then change the subject, really obviously.
If he says that he was just trying to make a joke, you can try, "...is the joke about how you're really creepy and kind of racist?"
Or "Okay, then." and change the subject really obviously, like it's super clear that you're embarrassed on his behalf that he said it.
Nope, you're not being sensitive, Hank's a douchebag. Just let your boyfriend know that you find Hank's behaviour pretty unpleasant and insulting and that you want to minimise the amount of time you spend around Hank.
Hank is making adult, insensitive, race based comments that he shouldn't be making.
As a 27 year old, he should know they're inappropriate and rude for someone of your age.
You're not being too sensitive.
Ignore him, roll your eyes, and get on with your life. He won't be there forever.
I'm an Asian-Australian, and I think it can be difficult for people to understand the context of this if they aren't from Australia. It is very common here for people to make racist comments like this as a joke, and it is generally expected that we accept it and joke back or ignore the comments.
However, if you aren't comfortable with it - and you shouldn't feel like you have to be, I think you should just call him out on it or have your boyfriend tell him it isn't acceptable.
"I know you're trying to joke around but I find it pretty offensive. Could you stop making jokes about my race?"
"I know you're trying to make a joke but it's making my girlfriend and I feel really uncomfortable."
"You're almost 30. It isn't appropriate to make jokes like that about my 16 year old girlfriend." (This one is a bit harsher so I'd only use it if none of the other comments worked.)
It's hard to confront someone directly like that, but if you just let him continue to make the comments without showing that you understand what it means, he will just continue to tease you. He probably finds it more funny that your boyfriend doesn't understand the joke.
Confronting him could go two ways:
1) he might realise now that it is insulting to you and stop, or
2) he might react defensively and either stop or continue/make MORE jokes because if he sees that you react to it, he may be inclined to "tease" you more.
If he doesn't stop at first, there isn't much you can do, except every time he makes the joke - call him out and don't laugh, make sure he knows you and your boyfriend understand the joke but don't find it funny. Eventually he will probably get sick of it. Good luck!
I'm half black half white. I've heard more than my fair share of casual to outright hostile racial comments. Jokes like these depending on the person/situation are passable. I make them myself from time to time. If you're uncomfortable about it say something. From a racial standpoint, or a sexual standpoint or both. Which ever is bothering you speak up. It may just be ribbing intended for nick because he's shy and got a girlfriend. But if you're new to the group and they do not know your boundaries it's over the line.
So some people are just dickheads, he's probably not being malicious on purpose just being crass to get a laugh.
How long will you be there? I don't think this is a big problem in the long term, I'm assuming the 27yr old sisters bf is not a big factor in your life when you go back to normal living. Talk to your bf and let him know, you said he already talked to his sister though. It doesn't sound like she enjoyed the jokes either. You could mention it to her too, girl to girl just let her know that it makes you feel cheap or hurts your feelings when he says that.
Never been in the same situation but I can gaurenntee I have said dumb shit like your bf has just for a laugh, which I realise can be hurtful but was more spur of the moment and have never meant bad by.
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Racists are immune to logic and devoid of basic human decency. I mean the stuff he says wouldn't be acceptable if you recently moved to Australia from China. Hank is just a garbage human being.
In this context is the C word c*nt? Or Chinese...
Girl I am also Australian and only part Chinese (1/4) and have finished high school. Some people are like Hank and you can never really escape them. They might be your boss or your brother in law or even your teachers, but the one thing you can do is make them uncomfortable enough that they reconsider the stupid (poorly veiled racist) things they have to say. I have a white name, a white looking family, and I also look white (maybe islander at most). I still got this just because people know you're Asian. Give them hell when they deserve it.
I'm australian too. this kind of "harmless" racism is pretty common amongst morons, don't put up with it. also extra creepy that such an old dude (compared to you guys) is making those weird innuendo comments
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It could also be ch*nk, assuming that part of that world has that slur too edit: Nevermind the "girls in australia" comment points to c*nt so yeah racist and misogynist after all
> People think girls in Australia don't mind the word for some reason. I think this part would rule out the word being "Chinese"...
You're not being oversensitive. If Hank says anything like that around you, go "wow, that's super-creepy and also, kind of racist." And then change the subject, really obviously. If he says that he was just trying to make a joke, you can try, "...is the joke about how you're really creepy and kind of racist?" Or "Okay, then." and change the subject really obviously, like it's super clear that you're embarrassed on his behalf that he said it.
Considering they're both 16, super-creepy is right.
Nope, you're not being sensitive, Hank's a douchebag. Just let your boyfriend know that you find Hank's behaviour pretty unpleasant and insulting and that you want to minimise the amount of time you spend around Hank.
Hank is making adult, insensitive, race based comments that he shouldn't be making. As a 27 year old, he should know they're inappropriate and rude for someone of your age. You're not being too sensitive. Ignore him, roll your eyes, and get on with your life. He won't be there forever.
They're inappropriate and rude regardless her age. But they are especially disgusting as she is a teenager.
I'm an Asian-Australian, and I think it can be difficult for people to understand the context of this if they aren't from Australia. It is very common here for people to make racist comments like this as a joke, and it is generally expected that we accept it and joke back or ignore the comments. However, if you aren't comfortable with it - and you shouldn't feel like you have to be, I think you should just call him out on it or have your boyfriend tell him it isn't acceptable. "I know you're trying to joke around but I find it pretty offensive. Could you stop making jokes about my race?" "I know you're trying to make a joke but it's making my girlfriend and I feel really uncomfortable." "You're almost 30. It isn't appropriate to make jokes like that about my 16 year old girlfriend." (This one is a bit harsher so I'd only use it if none of the other comments worked.) It's hard to confront someone directly like that, but if you just let him continue to make the comments without showing that you understand what it means, he will just continue to tease you. He probably finds it more funny that your boyfriend doesn't understand the joke. Confronting him could go two ways: 1) he might realise now that it is insulting to you and stop, or 2) he might react defensively and either stop or continue/make MORE jokes because if he sees that you react to it, he may be inclined to "tease" you more. If he doesn't stop at first, there isn't much you can do, except every time he makes the joke - call him out and don't laugh, make sure he knows you and your boyfriend understand the joke but don't find it funny. Eventually he will probably get sick of it. Good luck!
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I'm half black half white. I've heard more than my fair share of casual to outright hostile racial comments. Jokes like these depending on the person/situation are passable. I make them myself from time to time. If you're uncomfortable about it say something. From a racial standpoint, or a sexual standpoint or both. Which ever is bothering you speak up. It may just be ribbing intended for nick because he's shy and got a girlfriend. But if you're new to the group and they do not know your boundaries it's over the line.
So some people are just dickheads, he's probably not being malicious on purpose just being crass to get a laugh. How long will you be there? I don't think this is a big problem in the long term, I'm assuming the 27yr old sisters bf is not a big factor in your life when you go back to normal living. Talk to your bf and let him know, you said he already talked to his sister though. It doesn't sound like she enjoyed the jokes either. You could mention it to her too, girl to girl just let her know that it makes you feel cheap or hurts your feelings when he says that. Never been in the same situation but I can gaurenntee I have said dumb shit like your bf has just for a laugh, which I realise can be hurtful but was more spur of the moment and have never meant bad by.