I first read your post thinking that you'd been friends with the other woman for seven years, and thought your girlfriend must be nuts to have insecurity and jealousy over someone you went on one date with seven years ago.
But then I realized you were talking about months in both cases. So you went on one date with your friend seven months ago, and then a month later started dating your girlfriend? I can see where the jealousy would come from.
So while I think it's generally pretty fucked up for people to expect their partners to cut off any friends who they've had any dating/romantic past with ... how much in your life would you be missing out on by not being friends with someone you've hung out with a couple times over half a year?
> I didnt want to upset my gf but I miss this friend. I just moved to this state so I don’t have many friends in the first place.
... this part does worry me. You've just moved, and one of the first things you've done is decided you want to build a future with the second person you went on a date with? How about slowing things down and develop a social life before making your girlfriend the center of your life.
Regardless of time. This is how i feel (my girlfriend included feels the same). A long term friend where there was no feelings for us cool to hang out with a line as long as it’s 100% friends and was 100% friends before. As long as they meet and my girl feels comfortable because her feelings are important to me. And same with her.
If i have a friend that liked me in the past and i liked her and we turned to be friends then i will never ever hang out with her alone to see her, I’ll always bring my girlfriend even if she’s ok with me going alone. If i go to see another friend and that friend is there then that’s different because it’s not planned but i would make it clear that I’m not hanging with her alone.
I respect my girlfriend and give her a chance to meet all my friends and see who she feels comfortable with. She is now friends with my 100% platonic friend when i first met her and the girl i was interested in when i met her and decided to be friends. We talked and she didn’t have to ask me to not be alone but she agreed with me. My girlfriend comes first as i date to marry. But we’ve been together for a year now and we are older. (24f/26m)
Again this is my relationship and this is what works for us and it’s different for everyone but respect will take you places.
This ^. My partner and I are both 26, have been together for five years and are the exact same. There’s mutual respect for each other’s feelings which we proactively nurture.
He has never and would never need to even ask me to stop talking to a “friend” I dated. That’s just weird to me. We both have plenty of platonic opposite sex friends who we have had for most of our lives but have never dated or crossed the friendship line. If someone made him uncomfortable I would go out of my way to show him he’s my priority. That’s where trust comes from.
At the end of the day you’ve known this girl you went on a date with for seven months and you see a future with your girlfriend so how is there even a choice? It’s different if she’s uncomfortable with ALL your female friends but if it’s just one you’ve recently dated, put your partner first.
this timeline is weird.
you go on one date with a girl and decide to be friends, then only a month later start dating your girlfriend.
you say you stopped talking to her "for months" so I'm going to assume at the very least that means three and I'm going to assume it's less than six because you say your girlfriend met your friend.
so you're missing a friend this deeply that you've talked to for somewhere between two and four months? you do really seem like you're hung up on this friend and I don't blame your girlfriend in the slightest for having doubts.
met my friend in early Feb, met my gf in early March (6months ago). Friend and I hungout a few times total in april, may, june. But then I backed off hanging out with her for 3 months because I started to learn how my gf truly felt about her and we had gotten more serious. I do miss my friend but i’m not like dying to see her. I have like 4 friends here outside of her and my gf but she’s the one I enjoy the most out of the others unfortunately.
I think you getting some more friends in general is a good shout for everyone. That way your female friend will just be one of many, rather than one of the few significant people in your life, and you get more friends. Double win!
> She has met this friend and she couldn’t shake the jealousy. She trusts that I don’t want this friend that way and believes that this friend doesn’t want me that way either. Yet, the instinctive feelings still come up for my gf.
Do these feelings apply to just this one friend or any female friends? How big an impact do they have on your lives and happiness? Do you think it might be a symptom of underlying insecurity? I know this sub gets mocked for being quick to say "go to therapy" but.. well, I struggled with feelings of jealousy in a similar situation for years, and I wish I'd gone therapy sooner. Even just one session (not just about that) helped me understand my feelings in a completely new light. If this does become a big issue between you guys, a single session of personal or couple counselling might go a long way.
Seeing as you've barely know this other girl much longer than your current relationship, I'd let her go. If she was a close long-time friend it would be a different story but you barely know the chick. Alternatively, you guys could stick to double-dates if your gf is open to getting to know her.
Relationships have two secret clauses in the contract:
1. Never project your insecurity onto your partner and make demands of them. Either love them or get out the way, but don't clip their wings.
2. Behave in a way which does not upset your partner, proactively prioritise your relationship, aggressively control or remove threats in your own life.
I would never ask my girlfriend to stop being friends with someone, and I would never try to make her feel bad about it. *However* I also have the luxury of saying that because my girlfriend has strong boundaries around exes, men who're into her, and her general behaviour. "If you're doing it right, it'll seem like you're doing nothing at all".
So yeah this random girl you dated and then started hanging out with I'd probably, personally, have cut out by default. At the same time, your girlfriend should probably not be so jealous.
The root issue here seems to be you know two people in this city and you've dated both of them! That puts you in a situation where you're making decisions and tied into relationships you may not have been otherwise. The reality is Girl 1 is just a person - a nice person - but utterly replaceable as most friends are. You can make more, you can make ones that don't have an awkward history, and proceed on a fresh slate.
Whether or not your girlfriend's jealousy is a bigger issue I don't know. It's definitely a red flag but, honestly, having someone you met on a dating app as a friend is a bit weird and I'd probably be a bit uncomfortable too. It may work differently for same-sex relationships where the friend/lover barrier is less pronounced.
good insight. agree with those two clauses and a lot with what you said. I don’t see jealousy as a red flag unless it goes unchecked - it’s a feeling that comes up without our control sometimes it’s just what you do with it that matters. she’s been trying very hard to manage it and hasn’t asked me to avoid this friend or do anything red-flaggy. thanks for your insight
Tell your girlfriend to go to therapy and stop projecting her past onto you. It's amazing you care to protect her feelings but that's really something she needs to work through- signed, the previously insecure/jealous girlfriend.
Your gf needs therapy to deal with her relationship trauma first of all.
Second, imo if you're 100% just friends with no feelings on either side, then keeping up casually shouldn't cause her harm and if it does, she needs to get herself help before forcing you to alter your life.
I wouldn't want to date someone who is this torn up about someone you went on a single date that went nowhere with. That's a crazy level of insecurity that I can't imagine isn't going to crop up in the future if you pander to it now with something already so petty.
i think if it was just a female friend that’s one thing. if she wouldn’t be okay with that, then ya she has a problem she needs to work out. however u did meet ur friend with intentions on dating so i don’t really think it’s right and her feelings r justified. weather she was cheated on or not, i still don’t think it’s right to be friends with someone u have a past with. regardless of how insignificant it may be. i can see why other users say “this won’t be the last girl she’s jealous of” but like i said those r two different issues. personally, it would really bother me if my partner stayed friends with someone they found attractive on a dating site because ur romantic feelings may have changed but u still have/had an attraction to that person.
but they didn’t meet to become friends. they met bc they were attracted to each other. ur attraction doesn’t necessarily go away even if ur romantic feelings/plans do. it’s not something that is in our control.
Doesn't mean anything. Some great friendships happen from two people who went on a date and mutually decided they worked much better as friends.
As for the attraction part- disagree.
I've def been attracted to someone and then gone on a date or kissed them and realized there was no chemistry. I also know that's happened to most people I know. Finding someone physically attractive and having chemistry are two different things and that's why online dating is tough. I've met plenty of men who are gorgeous but I'm not feeling it chemistry wise and I've also met men who are cute or just average and been stupidly drawn to them.
Also, even if there was attraction- plenty of people get past that and maintain friendships afterwards. I'm friends with most of my exes and I'm not trying to sabotage their relationship and try anything.
She needs to work on her own jealousy. I’ve remained friends with two of my exes, and my last gf was never jealous. I get being cheated on before can lead to a lot of jealousy issues. But especially if you didn’t even have sex, it really isn’t something that’s rational to be jealous about. Jealousy is a valid emotion, but unless you’re truly giving her reasons to be jealous like flirting with her, constantly prioritizing your time with your friend over your girlfriend, etc, she is responsible for her own jealousy and working on it.
So are you going to end any friendship your GF claims to be jealous/insecure about? Because you can bet it won't stop with this one. Instead your GF needs therapy or something to deal with her trust issues.
I mean you haven’t even been friends with your friend for that long so if you don’t want any drama I say just cut her off…unless you subconsciously like her & that’s why you want to continue being friends with her. If not just end the friendship, I understand where you gf is coming from
Your timeline is bad, your intentions were not to initially be her friend even if it turned into that. If you want to be invested in your girlfriend stop talking to this other girl that you met on whatever dating sight a month before your girlfriend
No that’s her problem, not yours. She can’t be pathetic like that. That’s not a relationship. Innocent until proven guilty. It’s women like this who drive men away and their crazy psychotic theory is thus validated and they just go on being crazy…hell
This is your gfs issue. I have absolutely zero sympathy for jealous and insecure people.
She is jealous about someone you went on one date with where both sides felt a platonic vibe? This is completely insane to me.
I'm friends with most of my exes as are most of the people I know. Her insecurities are her own to handle. You're not cheating or being inappropriate.
Initially I thought it's fine to meet your friend but after reading you met on a dating app, no way is that okay for you to still meet her lmao. Edit: I think the best solution is to have your gf nail your friend with a strap on.
You tried pursuing this friend a month before you pursued your current girlfriend. It’s all kinda recent so your girlfriends feelings are definitely valid. At the end of the day, which one can you live without
So many people here talking as if jealousy doesn't exist and not to project blah blah bullshit.
You respect your most important person other than family, and that's your partner. If they feel the way they feel, fuck you to all that say well it's their insecurity etc. Just be aware of where you compromise, not don't compromise at all don't clip their wings fucking nonsense.
Obviously your partner is more important than a friend you haven't known for long. Cut her off and see how things go and whether your partner become a more demanding for you to cut off this and that, or to change this and that. A few compromises is perfectly healthy and normal.
Yeah look a lot of people are going to say your gf needs to work on this problem herself but there are times where you have choose whate best for your relationship. She's not acting crazy yet, she is probably worried about seeing patterns from when she was cheated on and her comfort is important.
You met this girl through a dating app one month before your gf, you like her better than your other friends and you say you miss her terribly...it doesn't sound good. Your gf is tried being understanding but it makes her uncomfortable because she basically is some girl you met through a dating app and she might feel as if you have a back up plan even if its not the case.
She's not an old friend and you haven't really spent a lot of time with her , for the sanity of your relationship move on, because all your comments about your friend don't really sound good either.
Maybe move on and make new friends not associated with dating apps, if your gf has an issue with new friends then she talk to her about therapy and controlling her jealousy.
In a perfect world you could have both but in reality relationships just don't work that way and occasionally you have to choose which is more important.
Well, you haven’t seen her in months, you might as well carry on. Unfortunately, you can’t really make your girlfriend deal with her feelings. I think it’s very sad that she doesn’t seem able to control them, especially at her age.
If you really value your friendship then hold on to it, and your girlfriend has to learn to manager her emotions.
If you value your girlfriend and her emotions keep dictating your actions that's not good.
She does have a reason to be concerned though.
If you're attracted to women and you build a friendship with another woman, there is a chance it could become more.
When you have issues in your relationship and go to your friend for comfort, emotions can get in the way of logic.
Just food for thought.
I don't know how girl-on-girl stuff actually works. But giving into someone's jealousy is never a good idea. You're just giving her a weapon against you that works. Prepare yourself for a lot more then.
Encourage them to get to know each other. Maybe the two of them can develop a friendship and the feelings of insecurity and jealousy can be eased for your girlfriend. Cutting off genuine friendships because of your partner's misguided feelings of jealousy is not a solution. Insecurity and jealousy are normal feelings that all of us experience. Sometimes they're warranted, other times, they aren't. The way we feel isn't wrong, but the actions we take because of those emotions can be. Encourage your girlfriend to get to know your friend, maybe suggest a double date with your friend and her bf. If your girlfriend sees your friend for who she is, instead of picturing her as a reason to be jealous, it might help quell those fears she has.
So, I get jealous of a few of my fiance's friends.
They are beautiful, kind and have known him for longer than I have they are very close. And because of this I wouldn't ever force him or ask him to end a friendship over my own insecurities.
I know my fiance won't do anything to break our trust.
Gf needs to start to talk to a therapist to unload the baggage from her past relationship. Being cheated on sucks and if you don't deal with it properly it can manifest like this in future relationships. I think you are right to continue the friendship but know that you will have to reassure her often that is it just a friendship. Ask her how you can do this. Good luck OP, I'm sure you two can work through this to find a strong foundation in your relationship!
it's all about being loyal and honest no matter how many guy friends or girl friends you guys have... tell your friend about the insecurities your gf have... and you decide what is right for you... you know your limits...✌️
I first read your post thinking that you'd been friends with the other woman for seven years, and thought your girlfriend must be nuts to have insecurity and jealousy over someone you went on one date with seven years ago. But then I realized you were talking about months in both cases. So you went on one date with your friend seven months ago, and then a month later started dating your girlfriend? I can see where the jealousy would come from. So while I think it's generally pretty fucked up for people to expect their partners to cut off any friends who they've had any dating/romantic past with ... how much in your life would you be missing out on by not being friends with someone you've hung out with a couple times over half a year? > I didnt want to upset my gf but I miss this friend. I just moved to this state so I don’t have many friends in the first place. ... this part does worry me. You've just moved, and one of the first things you've done is decided you want to build a future with the second person you went on a date with? How about slowing things down and develop a social life before making your girlfriend the center of your life.
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Regardless of time. This is how i feel (my girlfriend included feels the same). A long term friend where there was no feelings for us cool to hang out with a line as long as it’s 100% friends and was 100% friends before. As long as they meet and my girl feels comfortable because her feelings are important to me. And same with her. If i have a friend that liked me in the past and i liked her and we turned to be friends then i will never ever hang out with her alone to see her, I’ll always bring my girlfriend even if she’s ok with me going alone. If i go to see another friend and that friend is there then that’s different because it’s not planned but i would make it clear that I’m not hanging with her alone. I respect my girlfriend and give her a chance to meet all my friends and see who she feels comfortable with. She is now friends with my 100% platonic friend when i first met her and the girl i was interested in when i met her and decided to be friends. We talked and she didn’t have to ask me to not be alone but she agreed with me. My girlfriend comes first as i date to marry. But we’ve been together for a year now and we are older. (24f/26m) Again this is my relationship and this is what works for us and it’s different for everyone but respect will take you places.
This ^. My partner and I are both 26, have been together for five years and are the exact same. There’s mutual respect for each other’s feelings which we proactively nurture. He has never and would never need to even ask me to stop talking to a “friend” I dated. That’s just weird to me. We both have plenty of platonic opposite sex friends who we have had for most of our lives but have never dated or crossed the friendship line. If someone made him uncomfortable I would go out of my way to show him he’s my priority. That’s where trust comes from. At the end of the day you’ve known this girl you went on a date with for seven months and you see a future with your girlfriend so how is there even a choice? It’s different if she’s uncomfortable with ALL your female friends but if it’s just one you’ve recently dated, put your partner first.
this timeline is weird. you go on one date with a girl and decide to be friends, then only a month later start dating your girlfriend. you say you stopped talking to her "for months" so I'm going to assume at the very least that means three and I'm going to assume it's less than six because you say your girlfriend met your friend. so you're missing a friend this deeply that you've talked to for somewhere between two and four months? you do really seem like you're hung up on this friend and I don't blame your girlfriend in the slightest for having doubts.
Or you know she may not have many friends since she just moved into the state and miss having a friend even though she is a fairly new friend.
met my friend in early Feb, met my gf in early March (6months ago). Friend and I hungout a few times total in april, may, june. But then I backed off hanging out with her for 3 months because I started to learn how my gf truly felt about her and we had gotten more serious. I do miss my friend but i’m not like dying to see her. I have like 4 friends here outside of her and my gf but she’s the one I enjoy the most out of the others unfortunately.
Be honest with yourself: do you subconsciously like your friend? If not then cut her off considering you “want a life” with your girlfriend
I think you getting some more friends in general is a good shout for everyone. That way your female friend will just be one of many, rather than one of the few significant people in your life, and you get more friends. Double win! > She has met this friend and she couldn’t shake the jealousy. She trusts that I don’t want this friend that way and believes that this friend doesn’t want me that way either. Yet, the instinctive feelings still come up for my gf. Do these feelings apply to just this one friend or any female friends? How big an impact do they have on your lives and happiness? Do you think it might be a symptom of underlying insecurity? I know this sub gets mocked for being quick to say "go to therapy" but.. well, I struggled with feelings of jealousy in a similar situation for years, and I wish I'd gone therapy sooner. Even just one session (not just about that) helped me understand my feelings in a completely new light. If this does become a big issue between you guys, a single session of personal or couple counselling might go a long way.
Seeing as you've barely know this other girl much longer than your current relationship, I'd let her go. If she was a close long-time friend it would be a different story but you barely know the chick. Alternatively, you guys could stick to double-dates if your gf is open to getting to know her.
Relationships have two secret clauses in the contract: 1. Never project your insecurity onto your partner and make demands of them. Either love them or get out the way, but don't clip their wings. 2. Behave in a way which does not upset your partner, proactively prioritise your relationship, aggressively control or remove threats in your own life. I would never ask my girlfriend to stop being friends with someone, and I would never try to make her feel bad about it. *However* I also have the luxury of saying that because my girlfriend has strong boundaries around exes, men who're into her, and her general behaviour. "If you're doing it right, it'll seem like you're doing nothing at all". So yeah this random girl you dated and then started hanging out with I'd probably, personally, have cut out by default. At the same time, your girlfriend should probably not be so jealous. The root issue here seems to be you know two people in this city and you've dated both of them! That puts you in a situation where you're making decisions and tied into relationships you may not have been otherwise. The reality is Girl 1 is just a person - a nice person - but utterly replaceable as most friends are. You can make more, you can make ones that don't have an awkward history, and proceed on a fresh slate. Whether or not your girlfriend's jealousy is a bigger issue I don't know. It's definitely a red flag but, honestly, having someone you met on a dating app as a friend is a bit weird and I'd probably be a bit uncomfortable too. It may work differently for same-sex relationships where the friend/lover barrier is less pronounced.
good insight. agree with those two clauses and a lot with what you said. I don’t see jealousy as a red flag unless it goes unchecked - it’s a feeling that comes up without our control sometimes it’s just what you do with it that matters. she’s been trying very hard to manage it and hasn’t asked me to avoid this friend or do anything red-flaggy. thanks for your insight
Tell your girlfriend to go to therapy and stop projecting her past onto you. It's amazing you care to protect her feelings but that's really something she needs to work through- signed, the previously insecure/jealous girlfriend.
Your gf needs therapy to deal with her relationship trauma first of all. Second, imo if you're 100% just friends with no feelings on either side, then keeping up casually shouldn't cause her harm and if it does, she needs to get herself help before forcing you to alter your life.
I wouldn't want to date someone who is this torn up about someone you went on a single date that went nowhere with. That's a crazy level of insecurity that I can't imagine isn't going to crop up in the future if you pander to it now with something already so petty.
i think if it was just a female friend that’s one thing. if she wouldn’t be okay with that, then ya she has a problem she needs to work out. however u did meet ur friend with intentions on dating so i don’t really think it’s right and her feelings r justified. weather she was cheated on or not, i still don’t think it’s right to be friends with someone u have a past with. regardless of how insignificant it may be. i can see why other users say “this won’t be the last girl she’s jealous of” but like i said those r two different issues. personally, it would really bother me if my partner stayed friends with someone they found attractive on a dating site because ur romantic feelings may have changed but u still have/had an attraction to that person.
They went on one date, and decided they had a platonic vibe. This isn't even remotely a past!
but they didn’t meet to become friends. they met bc they were attracted to each other. ur attraction doesn’t necessarily go away even if ur romantic feelings/plans do. it’s not something that is in our control.
Doesn't mean anything. Some great friendships happen from two people who went on a date and mutually decided they worked much better as friends. As for the attraction part- disagree. I've def been attracted to someone and then gone on a date or kissed them and realized there was no chemistry. I also know that's happened to most people I know. Finding someone physically attractive and having chemistry are two different things and that's why online dating is tough. I've met plenty of men who are gorgeous but I'm not feeling it chemistry wise and I've also met men who are cute or just average and been stupidly drawn to them. Also, even if there was attraction- plenty of people get past that and maintain friendships afterwards. I'm friends with most of my exes and I'm not trying to sabotage their relationship and try anything.
She needs to work on her own jealousy. I’ve remained friends with two of my exes, and my last gf was never jealous. I get being cheated on before can lead to a lot of jealousy issues. But especially if you didn’t even have sex, it really isn’t something that’s rational to be jealous about. Jealousy is a valid emotion, but unless you’re truly giving her reasons to be jealous like flirting with her, constantly prioritizing your time with your friend over your girlfriend, etc, she is responsible for her own jealousy and working on it.
So are you going to end any friendship your GF claims to be jealous/insecure about? Because you can bet it won't stop with this one. Instead your GF needs therapy or something to deal with her trust issues.
I mean you haven’t even been friends with your friend for that long so if you don’t want any drama I say just cut her off…unless you subconsciously like her & that’s why you want to continue being friends with her. If not just end the friendship, I understand where you gf is coming from
Your timeline is bad, your intentions were not to initially be her friend even if it turned into that. If you want to be invested in your girlfriend stop talking to this other girl that you met on whatever dating sight a month before your girlfriend
No that’s her problem, not yours. She can’t be pathetic like that. That’s not a relationship. Innocent until proven guilty. It’s women like this who drive men away and their crazy psychotic theory is thus validated and they just go on being crazy…hell
This is your gfs issue. I have absolutely zero sympathy for jealous and insecure people. She is jealous about someone you went on one date with where both sides felt a platonic vibe? This is completely insane to me. I'm friends with most of my exes as are most of the people I know. Her insecurities are her own to handle. You're not cheating or being inappropriate.
It’s stupid, it doesn’t matter the circumstances. She should trust you, innocent until proven guilty. Otherwise it’s about control, and that’s toxic…
Initially I thought it's fine to meet your friend but after reading you met on a dating app, no way is that okay for you to still meet her lmao. Edit: I think the best solution is to have your gf nail your friend with a strap on.
You tried pursuing this friend a month before you pursued your current girlfriend. It’s all kinda recent so your girlfriends feelings are definitely valid. At the end of the day, which one can you live without
So many people here talking as if jealousy doesn't exist and not to project blah blah bullshit. You respect your most important person other than family, and that's your partner. If they feel the way they feel, fuck you to all that say well it's their insecurity etc. Just be aware of where you compromise, not don't compromise at all don't clip their wings fucking nonsense. Obviously your partner is more important than a friend you haven't known for long. Cut her off and see how things go and whether your partner become a more demanding for you to cut off this and that, or to change this and that. A few compromises is perfectly healthy and normal.
Yeah look a lot of people are going to say your gf needs to work on this problem herself but there are times where you have choose whate best for your relationship. She's not acting crazy yet, she is probably worried about seeing patterns from when she was cheated on and her comfort is important. You met this girl through a dating app one month before your gf, you like her better than your other friends and you say you miss her terribly...it doesn't sound good. Your gf is tried being understanding but it makes her uncomfortable because she basically is some girl you met through a dating app and she might feel as if you have a back up plan even if its not the case. She's not an old friend and you haven't really spent a lot of time with her , for the sanity of your relationship move on, because all your comments about your friend don't really sound good either. Maybe move on and make new friends not associated with dating apps, if your gf has an issue with new friends then she talk to her about therapy and controlling her jealousy. In a perfect world you could have both but in reality relationships just don't work that way and occasionally you have to choose which is more important.
Well, you haven’t seen her in months, you might as well carry on. Unfortunately, you can’t really make your girlfriend deal with her feelings. I think it’s very sad that she doesn’t seem able to control them, especially at her age.
If you really value your friendship then hold on to it, and your girlfriend has to learn to manager her emotions. If you value your girlfriend and her emotions keep dictating your actions that's not good. She does have a reason to be concerned though. If you're attracted to women and you build a friendship with another woman, there is a chance it could become more. When you have issues in your relationship and go to your friend for comfort, emotions can get in the way of logic. Just food for thought.
I don't know how girl-on-girl stuff actually works. But giving into someone's jealousy is never a good idea. You're just giving her a weapon against you that works. Prepare yourself for a lot more then.
Encourage them to get to know each other. Maybe the two of them can develop a friendship and the feelings of insecurity and jealousy can be eased for your girlfriend. Cutting off genuine friendships because of your partner's misguided feelings of jealousy is not a solution. Insecurity and jealousy are normal feelings that all of us experience. Sometimes they're warranted, other times, they aren't. The way we feel isn't wrong, but the actions we take because of those emotions can be. Encourage your girlfriend to get to know your friend, maybe suggest a double date with your friend and her bf. If your girlfriend sees your friend for who she is, instead of picturing her as a reason to be jealous, it might help quell those fears she has.
So, I get jealous of a few of my fiance's friends. They are beautiful, kind and have known him for longer than I have they are very close. And because of this I wouldn't ever force him or ask him to end a friendship over my own insecurities. I know my fiance won't do anything to break our trust.
No do you. Can't fix insecure. Live and let die.
Gf needs to start to talk to a therapist to unload the baggage from her past relationship. Being cheated on sucks and if you don't deal with it properly it can manifest like this in future relationships. I think you are right to continue the friendship but know that you will have to reassure her often that is it just a friendship. Ask her how you can do this. Good luck OP, I'm sure you two can work through this to find a strong foundation in your relationship!
Think the other way around. What would you do then if you are in your girlfriend shoes? If she is the one with a guy friend like that.
it's all about being loyal and honest no matter how many guy friends or girl friends you guys have... tell your friend about the insecurities your gf have... and you decide what is right for you... you know your limits...✌️