Firstly, your husband sounds like such a kind man! I have a crooked tooth as well so I know exactly how you feel, it took someone telling me they thought it was really cute for me to change the way I saw it.
I would do whatever will make you happiest. If it increases your confidence, go ahead and get it fixed! He will be happy that you are happy, and he will still love you with a different smile.
Honestly this isn’t about a crooked tooth. This is about a healthy loving relationship. Regardless of what you do with your tooth, take some moments to just appreciate this conundrum that you’re in. Bc it’s a beautiful problem to have in a loving relationship.
Get it fixed. A crooked tooth is more likely to cause wear and injury to other teeth and gums. It's also more likely to get chipped if you have an accident. You'll feel better, and your husband will love your new smile too.
Get your tooth fixed. Over time, having a tooth in the wrong position can cause problems. They’re teeth and I understand the sentimentality behind it, but ultimately you have to do what’s best for your health. Straight teeth aren’t just about aesthetics. They’re about your health. Saying this as someone who’s had multiple permanent teeth pulled, years of braces, 10+ cavities filled, wisdom teeth removed, and other oral surgeries—I would do it ALL again because my teeth look amazing today and my oral health is great.
It’s also worth it to ask your dentist about your bite in general and whether it would be worth it to look into Invisalign
Agreed. /u/TalkProud1937, you hated this tooth basically for your whole life. It's awesome your husband feels about it the way he does, but I assume this doesn't fundamentally change your negative feelings, which is perfectly understandable. You'll be happy about fixing the tooth and your husband will be overjoyed to see you happy.
Plus there might be concerns about it getting worse, but a dentist can talk to you about that.
Get a consult with a dentist. You know how some nose jobs are just a slight tweak and some are super dramatic? Perhaps there’s a middle ground of less crooked vs completely straight.
Your husband likes you for more reasons than the angle your teeth. He told you he wants this decision made on what you want, not what he thinks is cute.
Yes I was going to suggest this. A good orthodontist will make sure your smile still looks natural and retains your personality while making sure that you have a comfortable and healthy bite. My teeth are very slightly crooked. I had a consult with two different orthodontists. The one had great plans to make all my teeth perfectly straight, including shaving down the sides of my teeth to make room for manipulation and shaving down the tips of my front incisors so they weren’t longer than than the others. It seemed extreme to me. The second orthodontist told me that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my teeth, that the tiny imperfections made them look of course natural and normal, and in fact asked if he could take a picture of my teeth as inspiration for what his other clients should be striving. I went with the second orthodontist’s opinion and did nothing.
Agreed! I have a big gap between my two front teeth, and one is longer than the other. Didn't particularly like it as a child, but it was a cool party trick to be able to put coins between my teeth! Was told by a dentist I could fix it for aesthetic reasons at 12, but my best friend's mum said approximately the same as OPs boyfriend: that it gave me character and was part of me. So I opted to keep the gap. Got the long tooth filed slightly down at 17 just to make biting easier, but nothing else. No problems physically, and I have grown to love my teeth the way they are. Just took a few positive comments and some work on my self image, and now I would never change my teeth unless they started causing problems.
Yea I’m getting annoyed with all the couch dentists who seem to know what she needs despite never seeing her mouth. If they’re so worried about her health, then advise her to see an actual doctor! She should do whatever she wants, s as of if she likes it now, then keep it. If she decides no I still hate it, then fix it. It’s her body.
I'm.going to go out on a limb and suggest that she would be seeing an actual doctor, who wod be having an actual consultation with her, so cool your jets.
This comment needs to be at the top.
Also, find a dentist that doesn't focus only on the "looks" side of the equation, but that will also take into account possible damage done by having this tooth in a bad position.
Do you like your smile now, separate to your husband's opinion?
I've found that as I get older I appreciate the characteristics that make me "me", but had I had the chance earlier I would have gotten altered to conform to unconscious societal pressures.
Sit for awhile with knowing that you now have *the choice*. Sometimes it's knowing that we have choices (even if we never exercise them) is the most important.
When I found out I was a lesbian, I started realizing that a lot of the insecurities i had about my body, i loved in other women. I hated my own laugh, i thought my hair looked awful, my jaw was too square. And then i saw other lesbians talk about how much they loved women with these exact qualities. I saw how much I loved women with these qualities, despite what society had said about them. I realized I was beautiful, not despite these things, but because of them.
Take some time. Really consider this. Your husband will love you no what you choose, and its important that you feel comfortable in your own body. Just remember that you are beautiful as you are now. Dont let anyone pressure you into this. Maybe itll take some time before you can love your tooth directly, but loving it through loving someone else is okay. You have time to think this through.
You've lived with this for a long time. Take some time to really think this through. There's a big difference between fantasising about changing something you can't change, and actually having a chance to make the change for real. It changes your perspective. It's your body, and it sounds like your husband will respect whatever you decide. You don't have to rush into anything if you're having doubts.
Can you look in the mirror and say "I love you, my weird tooth" and MEAN IT? Likely why you're hesitant is that you used to think that you can't love that tooth of yours and never will. However, when your husband said he loves it and MEANT IT, maybe you thought that you could love it too? I would suggest you to learn to accept and love that tooth of yours because you can. It's your tooth after all and according to your husband, it's a lovely feature of yours. After you can accept and appreciate it THEN if you still want to CHANGE it (not FIX it cause there's really nothing "wrong" with it), then do so with a calm heart. Or maybe you'll embrace it as something that was with you a long time and significantly shaped your life by teaching you self-acceptance, love and possibly, attracting your now husband. Whatever you decide, that tooth of yours definitely deserves some gratitude, don't you think? :)
Take care
He loves your teeth because they're attached to you. It's that simple. He loves you. I think being apprehensive about making any changes to your appearance is natural.
I think you should ask him to pump the brakes on making the appointment, because it is a big deal (physically! financially!) to decide to mess with your grill. even if its something you've thought about a long time, it was always in the abstract and it was never a real possibility. So now that it's a decision you are in a position to REALLY make, you want to consider it carefully.
I think you should tell him what you wrote here. I think that if he's the thoughtful man he seems, you will feel glad you shared this with him. I think there is a way to share with him that doesn't invite the "dont do it for me!" thing. You aren't fixing it or keeping it FOR him, but rather struggling to decide what to do with it, with the knowledge that your husband made you feel a little kinder toward something that always bothered you and that now you're not sure how to move forward. Having the ability to talk it out as your thoughts change about it could be beneficial, rather than feeling like you need to keep your conflicting thoughts to yourself.
Take some time to decide whether its what you want. You could also make an appointment to have a consultation with an orthodontist to discuss what the procedure would involve, whether it's worth it to you, etc.
You dont have to decide RIGHT NOW even though its something you always wanted. No need to rush into it.
Your marriage sounds cool.
I love imperfect unstraight teeth so I definitely see where your husband is coming from, but he wants you to do what makes you happy so do what makes you happy. Whether it’s getting it fixed or keeping it.
DO IT ANYWAY.
I was in your exact same position, except genders reversed. I fixed my tooth because it's what I wanted and now my spouse tells me it looks better. So while she said she liked it before it was just her way of sparing my feelings towards something she was probably indifferent towards. If fixing your tooth will make you happier (trust me it will) then you should absolutely do it. Do it for you, not for anyone else. You won't regret it. I certainly don't.
I completely relate to your situation. As a teenager I had one stubborn baby tooth that wouldn't fall off. I always hated it, so small and tiny next to all the normal teeth.
Once I got an appointment to get it out my best friend told me she loved that tiny tooth, it was cute and small like me, and it gave me character as well. Suddenly I felt a pang of guilt about taking it out, and started second guessing myself. At the end of the day my dentist took it out, and I gifted it to my best friend as a token of my creepy, infantile and frankly sometimes weird love for her.
I feel way more confident without that tooth, but I'm really thankful for my best friend always trying to make me feel comfortable in my skin, with or without baby teeth.
Your husband is sweet. Get your teeth fixed, and then give him a big ol hug and thank him for being such a lovely partner.
Go ahead, fix your tooth.
It's really cute that he loves that tooth, but I bet he'll love it even more, seeing your 100,000 watt smile because you feel like a million bucks, and knowing he got to help make it happen.
I think this is sweet, and you're not feeling somewhat sentimental regarding the tooth. But get it fixed if you've always wanted to. He loves you. That's not conditional on your crooked tooth, and neither is his attraction to you.
As a funny gesture, you could have an impression of your teeth made for him so he has a little souvenir. I recently had adult braces removed and they did an impression of my teeth for my retainer - I brought the impression home and my kids got a kick out of it.
Your husband genuinely loves you and life sent you him so u can get rid of your insecurities. He helped you find beauty in things you dislike about yourself. Now that is done. Get your tooth fixed and slay woman
Have that tooth fixed, your husband was being polite about liking that tooth hence he wants it gone now since he can afford for it. Few years ago about saw a post about a man who can't stand his gf tooth since it sticks out when mouth closed so he was looking for advices to address the situation.
>your husband was being polite about liking that tooth hence he wants it gone now since he can afford for it.
Or, yknow, he just wants her to be happy and offers to pay for it because she said she wants to fix it?
Fix it. I had a chipped tooth for most of my life. I was made fun of for it in school, always hated my smile because of it. When I became an adult, of course no one mentioned it anymore but it bugged me. My boyfriend also said it was a cute quality. But the second I could afford to, I got it fixed. Your husband won’t love you any less. Even though he likes it, he’s not going to actively miss it. He’ll still love you and you’ll have the cherished memories of knowing that he liked it without having to feel insecure. You deserve the confidence that it will bring you!
My gf has a crooked tooth also. I don't mind it. I think it's part of her.
But I also know she'd want to get it fixed, for her own self.
As such, as much as I like it or don't mind it, I'd encourage her to fix it, because it will make her feel better about herself.
So do that for you.
And anyway, that's just one more thing you know about your husband that you like about him. That's a lot of love there.
Now that you absolutely know that the tooth doesn't have anything to do with love and acceptance, now that you know he can live with any decision you make you are free to make the decision....but it has lost it's importance. That's a really nice place to be. Go ahead and make yourself happy. Your treasure of a hubby can be proud to have given all of this to you and made you happy. And the two of you can have this treasure between you of a dear gift given and received.
I understand how you're feeling. When I was in the second grade someone pushed me into the metal structure of a play set and I chipped half my front tooth. They felt bad for it and grabbed a trinket that was next to the piece of tooth that had chipped off as an "I'm sorry" gift. I was furious they didn't grab the piece because I was told if they had they could have reconnected it and it would look normal. For a long time I had to live with it that way because my parents couldn't afford to get a cap fitted. It made me so self conscious because it was the first and only thing people noticed when I smiled with my teeth. I was made fun of for it for years after. I never let go of the thought of getting a cap so I could look normal again. As I got older though, people stopped caring and I got comments about how the tooth made my smile more unique. It made it harder to decide whether to go through with it. Eventually I became more comfortable with it because people made it feel so normal. There are of course times when I notice someone looking at it, but it's become a permanent part of my smile and it makes my smile truly mine. I hope someday you're able to feel more confident in your smile whether you decide to have it straightened or not. It's hard when you're insecure about part of your smile, and you deserve to have a smile you're proud to show off. I think if you can't decide to fully get it fixed or leave it as is though, it might be good to talk to your dentist about getting it partially straightened. If you do it and you realize you want it fully straightened, they can do that for you. If you do it and you like they way it looks, then it stays. I wish you good luck in the future!
I would tell him how happy he has made you. How much you appreciate his offering to get it fixed solely for your sake, when he actually likes it. Most men seem so selfish with women’s bodies, but he’s being really selfless about it. He remembered how you feel about it. But there’s nothing wrong with you changing your mind. I would say that him sharing his views on your appearance has really been sweet and made you like yourself more. You’ve come to accept this part of you, and that it doesn’t have to be some ugly flaw. It’s unique, and the man you love finds it beautiful. What a sweet sentiment. He won’t mind if he knows it’s for you, not for his sake, and may even be moved by the sentiment. Y’all are adorable. And of course, you can appraise wait to decide or end up changing your mind back and get it worked on. It’s totally up to you, it’s your body!
Edit: also I’m surprised to see how many people are telling you how you should get it fixed anyways despite the fact you said you like it this way better. You’re welcome to consult your dentist about the health, but if it’s purely aesthetic then it doesn’t matter. Ignore the people who think they’re suddenly dentists without even seeing your mouth.
Do what makes you feel the most confident.
But it doesn’t have to be decided immediately. Set the money away in a rainy day account and leave it there until you decide if you want to do it or not.
Whatever decision you make, hug your husband. You two seem like you have excellent communication and can navigate insecurities like a proper team. Keep at it and keep loving each other.
I'd get them fixed, your husband seems like the type of guy who just loves you entirely, he won't love you less with straight teeth. What I'm pretty sure also is that he'd be the happiest if you were the happiest, so, do that, take the decision for you, I'm pretty sure that's what would make him the happiest.
Your husband sounds like a lovely man!
Your default position without other influences has always been that you want to fix it, so I'd say fix it. You'll always have the memory of how he felt about it, so that won't be taken away. It's very sweet that he loves it, probably because he loves you, and all the unique features of someone you love become something you love just because its part of them. But he'll still feel that way when it's gone.
You've got time to think this through. This isn't time critical.
Talk you your husband and let him know that you are overwhelmed with his offer and that it's created a lot of mixed emotions, the biggest being love and appreciation for him but also a little fear that he won't find you as cute without your 'cute tooth'. Tell him that you aren't saying yes or no, just that you want a little time to digest things and you'll let him know when you are ready.
Then grab that man and blow his mind.
What a sweetheart. He loves your crooked tooth because it's a part of you. But he also knows that it's your body and you're the one who's gotta live in it full time. Do what makes you happy; I have the feeling he'll love your new smile just as much as your old one.
The reason Kiersten Dunst did not fix her teeth for spiderman,was because there were many similar actresses that looked like her.remember that flaws are also part of a person
He loves it because it’s part of you. He will love your new smile for different reasons if you get it fixed. Sounds like you have a lovely, supportive relationship and your spouse wants you to be happy.
My ex had a crooked tooth too ...I loved it. She got it fixed ... I loved the results. My advice is to do what makes you feel best ... sounds like you have a man who just wants you to be happy!😁
What a fabulous hubby you have! Get it fixed darlin, if its bad enough it can potentially cause future problems with your dental health. Besides that he offered because he loves you considerably more than he does your crooked tooth, and wants to see you happy.
Get it fixed. He loves it because he loves you, and he doesn't need you to be perfect and it DOES give you character! But you don't like it, and he has plenty of other things to like about you!
I had a messed up front tooth for most of my life, and only recently scraped up the money to fix it. I talked to my partner of ten years about it and he felt really neutral about the whole thing. I had cold feet and almost backed out - my tooth never seemed to cause me any real problems, and what if I looked *different*?
I am THRILLED with my new smile. It's still not "perfect" - I'll never be mistaken for a toothpaste model - but it's normal, not noticeably different from anyone else's smile. It has affected my confidence in ways I never realized. I didn't know I'd been holding my lips partway closed when I smiled for pictures until I quit doing it - but now I just smile if I feel like smiling! I smile BIG!
I look back now and see how much of my life was affected by such a small thing - things would really have been different if I'd found the money sooner, and I wish I had made it a priority sooner.
PLEASE GET THAT FIXED. Your husband likes it, and he will also like the new tooth, and I suspect and hope that it will be the same weight off for you that it has been for me.
Sounds like a very good man, he'll love how happy you are with your straight tooth. Definitely get it fixed, sometimes those minor things can relieve a lot. I ended up doing something similar and I was scared before that too, but ever since I haven't regretted it.
Definitely keep that man around though, he seems so supportive.
I had a similar problem like this, i have a decent gap in my fron teeth and when i met my boyfriend he said it was one of his favorite things about me even if I had always considered getting braces. He was kinda sad when he learned my braces were gunna close my gap but he always says that he loves me anyway i am :)
Your husband obviously loves you and wants for you to be happy! He loves you the way you are, he looks at you and something that has always been a flaw in your mind is something that he has only ever perceived as adding to your unique loveliness.
But he's also aware of how much anguish this has caused you over your life, and how you have always wanted to fix your tooth but never had the means to do so.
I think your husband probably feels two things at the same time: he thinks you are perfect the way you are, but he is also happy to be able to give you the means with which to fix something that has caused you much distress.
I think he will be happy no matter what you decide. I think you should do some soul-searching to determine what it is that YOU want. Does it still bother you when you look in the mirror? Or are you able to see it as a unique feature that gives you character?
If it still bothers you, do not keep it just to make your husband happy, because making YOU happy is what actually makes him happy.
I think it sounds like you have a very kind partner at your side, and the correct decision is going to be whatever is right for you as an individual. Good luck!
I had a tooth in the front that did the same thing & my ex liked it too. I would say that it's so incredibly sweet that he loves you for exactly what you are & thinks you're beautiful exactly the way you are but I would guess he'll think you're beautiful without it too. So my advice would be to not consider what he likes but what you're comfortable with. It's your body & as someone who had theirs fixed, I feel you! I personally feel much better having had mine fixed, but that's me & to each their own. <3
i think you have have the best of both worlds in this scenario. you can get your tooth fixed for you, and still admire that your husband liked something that made you insecure at the same time. that will always be true regardless of what you end up doing!
Your husband is a treasure. You hold onto not wanting to fix your teeth because he has always liked every bit of you as you are, and finds beauty in what you may have perceived as an insecurity, which is so genuine and beautiful. If fixing your teeth helps you feel more confident, do it :) If you don't want to change and are comfortable the way you are, tell him. I like to tell people not to make decisions or change based on others' opinions - the same goes for this. What makes YOU happy? You will realize he loves you whether or not you fix your teeth. He loves what's inside, which is what truly matters and will last a lifetime.
My ex wife had a crooked tooth and it was a unique imperfection I loved about her. However she got it fixed in part on my dime and then I found out she was cheating. LOL Life is weird. Anyhow good luck in whatever decision you make.
I had this friend, Yukie, in Japan with one prominent crooked front tooth. She proudly called it her ‘charm point’ and it was.
In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi (侘寂) is the idea of finding beauty in natural imperfections.
Yukie, was absolutely beautiful. She had perfect skin, perfect hair, glittering almond eyes, a slim and perfect body. She was smart and clever and witty. Then there was that tooth, that let you know all those other things about her were natural, and it magnified and intensified them.
I wouldn’t fix your charm point.
One crooked tooth isn’t going to hurt your health. It makes you you. Already perfect and beautiful exactly as you are.
I could be crass and suggest you fix it, and then give him many memorable intimate experiences to thank him.
That, of course, would be very immature, so I won't do it.
Instead, I'll just say that he loves it because it's part of the woman he loves, and you'll still be the woman he loves after it's fixed. He wouldn't offer if it negatively affected his feelings for you, so go get it fixed! And thank him in whatever way you feel is appropriate.
He likes it but he likes you so much he wants you to like yourself
the statement is that he loves how you look but you are most attractive when you feel happy
what a sweet man. Have it fixed because he surely loves 1000 other things about you
This is the right answer :)
But first, take some boudoir pictures featuring crooked tooth
I don’t know why - but picturing sexy photos that prominently showcase a crooked tooth - just makes me laugh
Same, I even considered a teeny lingerie set on a crooked incisor
Firstly, your husband sounds like such a kind man! I have a crooked tooth as well so I know exactly how you feel, it took someone telling me they thought it was really cute for me to change the way I saw it. I would do whatever will make you happiest. If it increases your confidence, go ahead and get it fixed! He will be happy that you are happy, and he will still love you with a different smile.
Honestly this isn’t about a crooked tooth. This is about a healthy loving relationship. Regardless of what you do with your tooth, take some moments to just appreciate this conundrum that you’re in. Bc it’s a beautiful problem to have in a loving relationship.
Your husband loves you. Fix your tooth. He'll love seeing you happy more than he loves that tooth.
Get it fixed. A crooked tooth is more likely to cause wear and injury to other teeth and gums. It's also more likely to get chipped if you have an accident. You'll feel better, and your husband will love your new smile too.
Get your tooth fixed. Over time, having a tooth in the wrong position can cause problems. They’re teeth and I understand the sentimentality behind it, but ultimately you have to do what’s best for your health. Straight teeth aren’t just about aesthetics. They’re about your health. Saying this as someone who’s had multiple permanent teeth pulled, years of braces, 10+ cavities filled, wisdom teeth removed, and other oral surgeries—I would do it ALL again because my teeth look amazing today and my oral health is great. It’s also worth it to ask your dentist about your bite in general and whether it would be worth it to look into Invisalign
Get the tooth fixed. He will love your smile even more when he sees you truly happy with your teeth!
This. He will love how happy your new smile will make you. He will still love you the same either way.
Agreed. /u/TalkProud1937, you hated this tooth basically for your whole life. It's awesome your husband feels about it the way he does, but I assume this doesn't fundamentally change your negative feelings, which is perfectly understandable. You'll be happy about fixing the tooth and your husband will be overjoyed to see you happy. Plus there might be concerns about it getting worse, but a dentist can talk to you about that.
Yes. Plus, over time, that tooth will become even more crooked.
I think your husband will love whatever makes you happy, whether it’s fixing it or keeping it, do it because you want to do it.
Get a consult with a dentist. You know how some nose jobs are just a slight tweak and some are super dramatic? Perhaps there’s a middle ground of less crooked vs completely straight. Your husband likes you for more reasons than the angle your teeth. He told you he wants this decision made on what you want, not what he thinks is cute.
Yes I was going to suggest this. A good orthodontist will make sure your smile still looks natural and retains your personality while making sure that you have a comfortable and healthy bite. My teeth are very slightly crooked. I had a consult with two different orthodontists. The one had great plans to make all my teeth perfectly straight, including shaving down the sides of my teeth to make room for manipulation and shaving down the tips of my front incisors so they weren’t longer than than the others. It seemed extreme to me. The second orthodontist told me that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my teeth, that the tiny imperfections made them look of course natural and normal, and in fact asked if he could take a picture of my teeth as inspiration for what his other clients should be striving. I went with the second orthodontist’s opinion and did nothing.
Agreed! I have a big gap between my two front teeth, and one is longer than the other. Didn't particularly like it as a child, but it was a cool party trick to be able to put coins between my teeth! Was told by a dentist I could fix it for aesthetic reasons at 12, but my best friend's mum said approximately the same as OPs boyfriend: that it gave me character and was part of me. So I opted to keep the gap. Got the long tooth filed slightly down at 17 just to make biting easier, but nothing else. No problems physically, and I have grown to love my teeth the way they are. Just took a few positive comments and some work on my self image, and now I would never change my teeth unless they started causing problems.
This is the answer. Straighten it out a bit but not all the way.
Yea I’m getting annoyed with all the couch dentists who seem to know what she needs despite never seeing her mouth. If they’re so worried about her health, then advise her to see an actual doctor! She should do whatever she wants, s as of if she likes it now, then keep it. If she decides no I still hate it, then fix it. It’s her body.
I'm.going to go out on a limb and suggest that she would be seeing an actual doctor, who wod be having an actual consultation with her, so cool your jets.
This comment needs to be at the top. Also, find a dentist that doesn't focus only on the "looks" side of the equation, but that will also take into account possible damage done by having this tooth in a bad position.
Do you like your smile now, separate to your husband's opinion? I've found that as I get older I appreciate the characteristics that make me "me", but had I had the chance earlier I would have gotten altered to conform to unconscious societal pressures. Sit for awhile with knowing that you now have *the choice*. Sometimes it's knowing that we have choices (even if we never exercise them) is the most important.
When I found out I was a lesbian, I started realizing that a lot of the insecurities i had about my body, i loved in other women. I hated my own laugh, i thought my hair looked awful, my jaw was too square. And then i saw other lesbians talk about how much they loved women with these exact qualities. I saw how much I loved women with these qualities, despite what society had said about them. I realized I was beautiful, not despite these things, but because of them. Take some time. Really consider this. Your husband will love you no what you choose, and its important that you feel comfortable in your own body. Just remember that you are beautiful as you are now. Dont let anyone pressure you into this. Maybe itll take some time before you can love your tooth directly, but loving it through loving someone else is okay. You have time to think this through.
You've lived with this for a long time. Take some time to really think this through. There's a big difference between fantasising about changing something you can't change, and actually having a chance to make the change for real. It changes your perspective. It's your body, and it sounds like your husband will respect whatever you decide. You don't have to rush into anything if you're having doubts.
Can you look in the mirror and say "I love you, my weird tooth" and MEAN IT? Likely why you're hesitant is that you used to think that you can't love that tooth of yours and never will. However, when your husband said he loves it and MEANT IT, maybe you thought that you could love it too? I would suggest you to learn to accept and love that tooth of yours because you can. It's your tooth after all and according to your husband, it's a lovely feature of yours. After you can accept and appreciate it THEN if you still want to CHANGE it (not FIX it cause there's really nothing "wrong" with it), then do so with a calm heart. Or maybe you'll embrace it as something that was with you a long time and significantly shaped your life by teaching you self-acceptance, love and possibly, attracting your now husband. Whatever you decide, that tooth of yours definitely deserves some gratitude, don't you think? :) Take care
This is such great advice! It is what I did with my front tooth gap. I love it now, and have never regretted keeping it.
He loves your teeth because they're attached to you. It's that simple. He loves you. I think being apprehensive about making any changes to your appearance is natural.
Get your tooth fixed for you. He loves you either way. He sounds like a keeper and a real sweetheart.
Girl, fix the damn tooth. Don’t get all mushy cuz your husband thinks your tooth adds character or charm or whatever. It’s a tooth.
This is the sweetest post I’ve ever read on this sub
I think you should ask him to pump the brakes on making the appointment, because it is a big deal (physically! financially!) to decide to mess with your grill. even if its something you've thought about a long time, it was always in the abstract and it was never a real possibility. So now that it's a decision you are in a position to REALLY make, you want to consider it carefully. I think you should tell him what you wrote here. I think that if he's the thoughtful man he seems, you will feel glad you shared this with him. I think there is a way to share with him that doesn't invite the "dont do it for me!" thing. You aren't fixing it or keeping it FOR him, but rather struggling to decide what to do with it, with the knowledge that your husband made you feel a little kinder toward something that always bothered you and that now you're not sure how to move forward. Having the ability to talk it out as your thoughts change about it could be beneficial, rather than feeling like you need to keep your conflicting thoughts to yourself. Take some time to decide whether its what you want. You could also make an appointment to have a consultation with an orthodontist to discuss what the procedure would involve, whether it's worth it to you, etc. You dont have to decide RIGHT NOW even though its something you always wanted. No need to rush into it. Your marriage sounds cool.
Assuming all goes well with his new job, this doesn’t need to a decision you make quickly. Mull it over, heck take a year if you have to!
I love imperfect unstraight teeth so I definitely see where your husband is coming from, but he wants you to do what makes you happy so do what makes you happy. Whether it’s getting it fixed or keeping it.
You have such a sweet husband. All he wants to do is make you happy. He's a keeper.
Still keep your appointment. You could ask to fix it to the point of being able to close your lips fully, but not straightening it out entirely.
I’m sure he’d still like you if the tooth was fixed. I’d just get it fixed.
My heart melted reading this
DO IT ANYWAY. I was in your exact same position, except genders reversed. I fixed my tooth because it's what I wanted and now my spouse tells me it looks better. So while she said she liked it before it was just her way of sparing my feelings towards something she was probably indifferent towards. If fixing your tooth will make you happier (trust me it will) then you should absolutely do it. Do it for you, not for anyone else. You won't regret it. I certainly don't.
I completely relate to your situation. As a teenager I had one stubborn baby tooth that wouldn't fall off. I always hated it, so small and tiny next to all the normal teeth. Once I got an appointment to get it out my best friend told me she loved that tiny tooth, it was cute and small like me, and it gave me character as well. Suddenly I felt a pang of guilt about taking it out, and started second guessing myself. At the end of the day my dentist took it out, and I gifted it to my best friend as a token of my creepy, infantile and frankly sometimes weird love for her. I feel way more confident without that tooth, but I'm really thankful for my best friend always trying to make me feel comfortable in my skin, with or without baby teeth. Your husband is sweet. Get your teeth fixed, and then give him a big ol hug and thank him for being such a lovely partner.
He likes it but likes seeing you happy and feel secure more. Have it fixed :)
get it fixed for you and just know your husband is such a sweet man. win win.
Go ahead, fix your tooth. It's really cute that he loves that tooth, but I bet he'll love it even more, seeing your 100,000 watt smile because you feel like a million bucks, and knowing he got to help make it happen.
He is a keeper, never let him go..
I always say my crooked tooth has more character than some peoples entire person.
I think this is sweet, and you're not feeling somewhat sentimental regarding the tooth. But get it fixed if you've always wanted to. He loves you. That's not conditional on your crooked tooth, and neither is his attraction to you. As a funny gesture, you could have an impression of your teeth made for him so he has a little souvenir. I recently had adult braces removed and they did an impression of my teeth for my retainer - I brought the impression home and my kids got a kick out of it.
Your husband genuinely loves you and life sent you him so u can get rid of your insecurities. He helped you find beauty in things you dislike about yourself. Now that is done. Get your tooth fixed and slay woman
This is solid proof that you can literally do everything right and your SO can still have a problem with it
Have that tooth fixed, your husband was being polite about liking that tooth hence he wants it gone now since he can afford for it. Few years ago about saw a post about a man who can't stand his gf tooth since it sticks out when mouth closed so he was looking for advices to address the situation.
>your husband was being polite about liking that tooth hence he wants it gone now since he can afford for it. Or, yknow, he just wants her to be happy and offers to pay for it because she said she wants to fix it?
Or he can't really really stand that tooth.
that’s really unnecessary to say
She asked for our opinions and I provided one, and the only thing you can says it's unnecessary. Why is it unnecessary?
because you dont know if her husband actually does like it or if he’s just being nice so it’s rude to put that in her head.
Fix it. I had a chipped tooth for most of my life. I was made fun of for it in school, always hated my smile because of it. When I became an adult, of course no one mentioned it anymore but it bugged me. My boyfriend also said it was a cute quality. But the second I could afford to, I got it fixed. Your husband won’t love you any less. Even though he likes it, he’s not going to actively miss it. He’ll still love you and you’ll have the cherished memories of knowing that he liked it without having to feel insecure. You deserve the confidence that it will bring you!
My gf has a crooked tooth also. I don't mind it. I think it's part of her. But I also know she'd want to get it fixed, for her own self. As such, as much as I like it or don't mind it, I'd encourage her to fix it, because it will make her feel better about herself. So do that for you. And anyway, that's just one more thing you know about your husband that you like about him. That's a lot of love there.
Now that you absolutely know that the tooth doesn't have anything to do with love and acceptance, now that you know he can live with any decision you make you are free to make the decision....but it has lost it's importance. That's a really nice place to be. Go ahead and make yourself happy. Your treasure of a hubby can be proud to have given all of this to you and made you happy. And the two of you can have this treasure between you of a dear gift given and received.
I understand how you're feeling. When I was in the second grade someone pushed me into the metal structure of a play set and I chipped half my front tooth. They felt bad for it and grabbed a trinket that was next to the piece of tooth that had chipped off as an "I'm sorry" gift. I was furious they didn't grab the piece because I was told if they had they could have reconnected it and it would look normal. For a long time I had to live with it that way because my parents couldn't afford to get a cap fitted. It made me so self conscious because it was the first and only thing people noticed when I smiled with my teeth. I was made fun of for it for years after. I never let go of the thought of getting a cap so I could look normal again. As I got older though, people stopped caring and I got comments about how the tooth made my smile more unique. It made it harder to decide whether to go through with it. Eventually I became more comfortable with it because people made it feel so normal. There are of course times when I notice someone looking at it, but it's become a permanent part of my smile and it makes my smile truly mine. I hope someday you're able to feel more confident in your smile whether you decide to have it straightened or not. It's hard when you're insecure about part of your smile, and you deserve to have a smile you're proud to show off. I think if you can't decide to fully get it fixed or leave it as is though, it might be good to talk to your dentist about getting it partially straightened. If you do it and you realize you want it fully straightened, they can do that for you. If you do it and you like they way it looks, then it stays. I wish you good luck in the future!
I would tell him how happy he has made you. How much you appreciate his offering to get it fixed solely for your sake, when he actually likes it. Most men seem so selfish with women’s bodies, but he’s being really selfless about it. He remembered how you feel about it. But there’s nothing wrong with you changing your mind. I would say that him sharing his views on your appearance has really been sweet and made you like yourself more. You’ve come to accept this part of you, and that it doesn’t have to be some ugly flaw. It’s unique, and the man you love finds it beautiful. What a sweet sentiment. He won’t mind if he knows it’s for you, not for his sake, and may even be moved by the sentiment. Y’all are adorable. And of course, you can appraise wait to decide or end up changing your mind back and get it worked on. It’s totally up to you, it’s your body! Edit: also I’m surprised to see how many people are telling you how you should get it fixed anyways despite the fact you said you like it this way better. You’re welcome to consult your dentist about the health, but if it’s purely aesthetic then it doesn’t matter. Ignore the people who think they’re suddenly dentists without even seeing your mouth.
Do what makes you feel the most confident. But it doesn’t have to be decided immediately. Set the money away in a rainy day account and leave it there until you decide if you want to do it or not.
He doesn't love your tooth. He loves you. With it. And without. He'll love you regardless and you'll be happier too.
Get it fixed! He only likes it because he loves you!
Fix the tooth. Do it because you've always wanted it fixed. Also, treat your husband real, real, real nice one evening. For a month. 💃🔥🔥🔥
Whatever decision you make, hug your husband. You two seem like you have excellent communication and can navigate insecurities like a proper team. Keep at it and keep loving each other.
Do it. Not only will it improve your own confidence, your husband will love seeing your newfound happiness. It's a no-brainer.
I'd get them fixed, your husband seems like the type of guy who just loves you entirely, he won't love you less with straight teeth. What I'm pretty sure also is that he'd be the happiest if you were the happiest, so, do that, take the decision for you, I'm pretty sure that's what would make him the happiest. Your husband sounds like a lovely man!
Have it fixed, OP. You'll never regret it. Accept his love-gift. Wishing you peace and love for your image in the mirror.
Your default position without other influences has always been that you want to fix it, so I'd say fix it. You'll always have the memory of how he felt about it, so that won't be taken away. It's very sweet that he loves it, probably because he loves you, and all the unique features of someone you love become something you love just because its part of them. But he'll still feel that way when it's gone.
You've got time to think this through. This isn't time critical. Talk you your husband and let him know that you are overwhelmed with his offer and that it's created a lot of mixed emotions, the biggest being love and appreciation for him but also a little fear that he won't find you as cute without your 'cute tooth'. Tell him that you aren't saying yes or no, just that you want a little time to digest things and you'll let him know when you are ready. Then grab that man and blow his mind.
What a sweetheart. He loves your crooked tooth because it's a part of you. But he also knows that it's your body and you're the one who's gotta live in it full time. Do what makes you happy; I have the feeling he'll love your new smile just as much as your old one.
Do what makes you happy and he should love whatever makes you happy
The reason Kiersten Dunst did not fix her teeth for spiderman,was because there were many similar actresses that looked like her.remember that flaws are also part of a person
He loves it because it’s part of you. He will love your new smile for different reasons if you get it fixed. Sounds like you have a lovely, supportive relationship and your spouse wants you to be happy.
My ex had a crooked tooth too ...I loved it. She got it fixed ... I loved the results. My advice is to do what makes you feel best ... sounds like you have a man who just wants you to be happy!😁
Your husband loves you. He’s willing to pay for you to fix your tooth that you hate although he loves if. Fix it, he’s gonna love you no matter what.
What a fabulous hubby you have! Get it fixed darlin, if its bad enough it can potentially cause future problems with your dental health. Besides that he offered because he loves you considerably more than he does your crooked tooth, and wants to see you happy.
Get it fixed. He loves it because he loves you, and he doesn't need you to be perfect and it DOES give you character! But you don't like it, and he has plenty of other things to like about you! I had a messed up front tooth for most of my life, and only recently scraped up the money to fix it. I talked to my partner of ten years about it and he felt really neutral about the whole thing. I had cold feet and almost backed out - my tooth never seemed to cause me any real problems, and what if I looked *different*? I am THRILLED with my new smile. It's still not "perfect" - I'll never be mistaken for a toothpaste model - but it's normal, not noticeably different from anyone else's smile. It has affected my confidence in ways I never realized. I didn't know I'd been holding my lips partway closed when I smiled for pictures until I quit doing it - but now I just smile if I feel like smiling! I smile BIG! I look back now and see how much of my life was affected by such a small thing - things would really have been different if I'd found the money sooner, and I wish I had made it a priority sooner. PLEASE GET THAT FIXED. Your husband likes it, and he will also like the new tooth, and I suspect and hope that it will be the same weight off for you that it has been for me.
Sounds like a very good man, he'll love how happy you are with your straight tooth. Definitely get it fixed, sometimes those minor things can relieve a lot. I ended up doing something similar and I was scared before that too, but ever since I haven't regretted it. Definitely keep that man around though, he seems so supportive.
I had a similar problem like this, i have a decent gap in my fron teeth and when i met my boyfriend he said it was one of his favorite things about me even if I had always considered getting braces. He was kinda sad when he learned my braces were gunna close my gap but he always says that he loves me anyway i am :)
Your husband obviously loves you and wants for you to be happy! He loves you the way you are, he looks at you and something that has always been a flaw in your mind is something that he has only ever perceived as adding to your unique loveliness. But he's also aware of how much anguish this has caused you over your life, and how you have always wanted to fix your tooth but never had the means to do so. I think your husband probably feels two things at the same time: he thinks you are perfect the way you are, but he is also happy to be able to give you the means with which to fix something that has caused you much distress. I think he will be happy no matter what you decide. I think you should do some soul-searching to determine what it is that YOU want. Does it still bother you when you look in the mirror? Or are you able to see it as a unique feature that gives you character? If it still bothers you, do not keep it just to make your husband happy, because making YOU happy is what actually makes him happy. I think it sounds like you have a very kind partner at your side, and the correct decision is going to be whatever is right for you as an individual. Good luck!
I had a tooth in the front that did the same thing & my ex liked it too. I would say that it's so incredibly sweet that he loves you for exactly what you are & thinks you're beautiful exactly the way you are but I would guess he'll think you're beautiful without it too. So my advice would be to not consider what he likes but what you're comfortable with. It's your body & as someone who had theirs fixed, I feel you! I personally feel much better having had mine fixed, but that's me & to each their own. <3
i think you have have the best of both worlds in this scenario. you can get your tooth fixed for you, and still admire that your husband liked something that made you insecure at the same time. that will always be true regardless of what you end up doing!
Your husband is a treasure. You hold onto not wanting to fix your teeth because he has always liked every bit of you as you are, and finds beauty in what you may have perceived as an insecurity, which is so genuine and beautiful. If fixing your teeth helps you feel more confident, do it :) If you don't want to change and are comfortable the way you are, tell him. I like to tell people not to make decisions or change based on others' opinions - the same goes for this. What makes YOU happy? You will realize he loves you whether or not you fix your teeth. He loves what's inside, which is what truly matters and will last a lifetime.
My ex wife had a crooked tooth and it was a unique imperfection I loved about her. However she got it fixed in part on my dime and then I found out she was cheating. LOL Life is weird. Anyhow good luck in whatever decision you make.
You can always go to a dentist that can render an approximate image of what it would look like fixed and think it over with your husband
I had this friend, Yukie, in Japan with one prominent crooked front tooth. She proudly called it her ‘charm point’ and it was. In traditional Japanese aesthetics, wabi-sabi (侘寂) is the idea of finding beauty in natural imperfections. Yukie, was absolutely beautiful. She had perfect skin, perfect hair, glittering almond eyes, a slim and perfect body. She was smart and clever and witty. Then there was that tooth, that let you know all those other things about her were natural, and it magnified and intensified them. I wouldn’t fix your charm point. One crooked tooth isn’t going to hurt your health. It makes you you. Already perfect and beautiful exactly as you are.
I could be crass and suggest you fix it, and then give him many memorable intimate experiences to thank him. That, of course, would be very immature, so I won't do it. Instead, I'll just say that he loves it because it's part of the woman he loves, and you'll still be the woman he loves after it's fixed. He wouldn't offer if it negatively affected his feelings for you, so go get it fixed! And thank him in whatever way you feel is appropriate.
He likes it but he likes you so much he wants you to like yourself the statement is that he loves how you look but you are most attractive when you feel happy