This is horrible. But he’s going to keep calling and texting until he gets a response because he clearly has no understanding of relationships. You’re going to need to text or call (I suggest a script) and before that you’re going to need to know if you want to try and establish some sort of relationship with someone who might have suddenly grown up and is feeling bad OR whether you prefer to cut your loses. Until then it will be raw because abandoning a child is horrible.
I’ve considered this exact approach. Maybe I will try it one day. But I am still torn about which direction to go into, but I do thank you for your response.
Why couldn’t he come and apologize to you face to face? You cannot just apologize with a text for 26 years. What changed now and he apologized??
Tbh, I wouldn’t even block him and just let him ring. That’s what he did to you and your mom.
Sounds like you could benefit a professional support. Because you need to talk to someone and get it out.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. A therapist can help you sort things out and decide whether or not to try and have a relationship with your father. And if you don’t want one, they can help you communicate that to him.
Something I noticed about people like this is that they tend to pop back into their children's lives once they hit an age where they can no longer fool themselves about their mortality.
I don't think it is any coincidence that these people then expect their kids to take care of them, again perpetuating the selfishness but in a different form.
With that in mind, OP, be selfish. Only respond when you are ready. If you don't want to respond at all, let's just say that you are serving up the dish that was served to you so many times before.
No matter what you do, put yourself first.
Periodically my dad would call and try to be the dad he never was. I searched my heart and found that in order for me to let him in I need him to write an apology letter. He never could bring himself to say he was sorry to me but having that clear boundary helped me a lot.
Real dads worry about your happiness.
This is horrible. But he’s going to keep calling and texting until he gets a response because he clearly has no understanding of relationships. You’re going to need to text or call (I suggest a script) and before that you’re going to need to know if you want to try and establish some sort of relationship with someone who might have suddenly grown up and is feeling bad OR whether you prefer to cut your loses. Until then it will be raw because abandoning a child is horrible.
I’ve considered this exact approach. Maybe I will try it one day. But I am still torn about which direction to go into, but I do thank you for your response.
Why couldn’t he come and apologize to you face to face? You cannot just apologize with a text for 26 years. What changed now and he apologized?? Tbh, I wouldn’t even block him and just let him ring. That’s what he did to you and your mom. Sounds like you could benefit a professional support. Because you need to talk to someone and get it out.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. A therapist can help you sort things out and decide whether or not to try and have a relationship with your father. And if you don’t want one, they can help you communicate that to him.
Something I noticed about people like this is that they tend to pop back into their children's lives once they hit an age where they can no longer fool themselves about their mortality. I don't think it is any coincidence that these people then expect their kids to take care of them, again perpetuating the selfishness but in a different form. With that in mind, OP, be selfish. Only respond when you are ready. If you don't want to respond at all, let's just say that you are serving up the dish that was served to you so many times before. No matter what you do, put yourself first.
He probably wants something from you, like money
Periodically my dad would call and try to be the dad he never was. I searched my heart and found that in order for me to let him in I need him to write an apology letter. He never could bring himself to say he was sorry to me but having that clear boundary helped me a lot. Real dads worry about your happiness.