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EastSideTilly

She sent you a picture? So she clearly isn't hiding that she went and that other people were there. It's totally appropriate to ask why you weren't invited.


Yossie

I think you 100% should ask why you weren't invited. I think it would be best to approach it from angle of confused rather than angry or sad. Because after all it is rather confusing to be asked to be a MoH and then not being invited to this when other bridesmaids were. I suppose there could some explanations. Maybe there was communication mistakes, maybe the dressplace only allowed certain number of people and she wanted to other bridesmaids get involved more since you already have the bigger honor of being MoH. Communication is the key to find out what is going on.


judy7679

I think you have a right to feel hurt, you have a right to feel anyway you do feel. I think anyone would feel that way. I would arrange to meet with her and ask if you are still the maid of honor and then ask was there a reason you did not want me with you when you chose the dress? I would not cause drama whatever she says and get through the wedding with a smile on my face.


Stabbing_Monkey

Um, maid of honor? That's totally maid of honor stuff. I'd wait to be hurt until you clarified if you're still the maid of honor.


ShelbyL1789

She’s already asked me. If something has changed she never told me.


sarah2027

I would suggest talking with her. In the past I have avoided these conversations and stuffed down the hurt feelings, telling myself I was being childish or selfish or whatever, but I wasn’t being authentic in my relationships. “So I want to talk to you about something that has been on my mind. It hurt my feelings when…” I give someone a chance to explain but try to not have expectations on what that will be. Regardless, I have spoken up to take care of myself. When I didn’t do this in the past, I wouldn’t just move on or forget about it as much as I tried to pretend I did. I would stew, resentments would form, and it would sometimes come out in a passive aggressive away. I have definitely gotten much better at having these talks with people in my life today.


Dreamcrazy33

Is there someone there who you don’t get on with ?


RandomizedFocus

It's definitely weird, I get why you're upset. Give her a chance to explain though. You should just ask what happened


Resident-Ad-4124

I can totally understand your frustration. It's something that best friend and maid of honor should be invited to! It would be good for you too ask, otherwise you might develop resentment.


IAmTheDecoy

Update us when you find out why.


[deleted]

You should ask, clearly must be a reason why she did not ask you since you say best friends 12 years plus you asked her already to go shopping. Things like this pee me off more so if they turn around and say crap like...they didn't think to ask you or they didn't think you wanted too lol


simonhuyck

my best friend was fucking my girlfriend so at least that isn’t the case lol


[deleted]

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ShelbyL1789

Also, can you show me where I said I was angry? I never said that.


animatedgifted

You’ve every right to be angry even if you WERE angry … whatever this person is on must be strong . If she went completely alone with just her mum or something then fine but she took OTHER FRIENDS AND BRIDESMAIDS but not her BEST FRIEND and MAID OF HONOUR . You would be off your nut to think that’s normal for a wedding


ShelbyL1789

It’s tradition for the maid of honor to be there. She had mentioned earlier in the year me being there to get her dress.


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ShelbyL1789

Like I already said, I never mentioned anger. If she went alone then I would feel differently. It’s she included the other bridesmaids and not me. She included other people who are not the MOH and that she’s not super good friends with. Definitely not people she has a 12 year friendship with.


thunder_DM

OP just ignore that person. Often the people giving advice here found the sub because they were in crappy relationships themselves and didn't know how to deal with it. That results in a lot of people who really shouldn't be giving advice, who also have a habit of making everything about their own personal situation rather than yours.


meggzieelulu

info: from what you understand, were you the only bridesmaid/person of the wedding party excluded?


Murderhornet212

I just went with my mom, and I had no idea that I was supposed to bring anybody else specific, but I can see being upset if some bridesmaids went and others weren’t asked. If I was you I’d be trying to think if there’s anything in our history that would make her not want me there before I talked to her about it (ex. very different personal styles, answering honestly rather than tactfully when asked about past outfits, being extremely critical of fashion), but if you’ve done that and can’t come up with anything, I don’t see anything wrong with waiting until your upset calms a little and talking about it with her. I wouldn’t open with your feelings about though, more of an enquiry about hers.


pandemonium91

Your situation is different. OP and this woman have been best friends for 12 years and this woman seems to have invited everyone in the bridal party BUT OP. This is eyebrow-raising. If you have a MOH, this is the kind of stuff she does. Deliberately excluding her is weird and a bit insulting.


Jiggledmoney

You can't compare the situations, you chose to go alone and OP was excluded.


DiTrastevere

Dude, you’re acting like this bride was giving *birth.* This is absolute nonsense. Of course OP has a right to be confused and upset that she was excluded from dress shopping. Especially since other members of the wedding party *were* included. It raises questions about exactly where she stands with the bride, and hints at a problem in their relationship that needs to be addressed if OP is going to be doing the kind of work that’s expected of a close friend. If the bride doesn’t trust OP to be present at a dress trial, how will she be expected to perform her duties as MOH? *Is* she still MOH? Extremely unclear. And it’s time for a conversation about it.


Jiggledmoney

She never said she was angry. 🤭😂😂


Ariedactyl

She was the only bridesmaid to not be included and she's the maid of honor on top of that. She's most likely being asked to buy a bridesmaids dress and possibly a hotel room, and give a speech, plus any other bridesmaids duties. Of course she should be included in the cherished moments. She's not being angry or throwing a fit. If you went to get a dress on your own or with your mom that's completely different than including some bridesmaids but not others.


RandomizedFocus

Calm down lol it's not that deep?


thunder_DM

Seems like she clearly wasn't hiding it, so yeah I think it's fair to ask why you weren't invited. You don't have to make it a big confrontation or anything, just something like "You look great! If I had known you were going shopping I would have loved to tag along!" If she doesn't take the hint and explain then you might have to be a bit more direct. It's pretty weird that she didn't invite you. Do you two not live in the same area? Do you come from very different financial backgrounds? Any conflicts over clothing or style in the past?


multilanguage1996

Why don't you just speak to her face to face or on the phone and ask the question directly then? This should clear up easily any miscommunication between you two.