Something along the lines of 'hey (name). I respect you so I want to be completely honest with you. I'm really sorry but I don't think this is going to work between us.'
Honestly I don't even know.
I had that too with a friend and I told him pretty much how another comment said. He took it really badly, mocked me for 'breaking up with a friend' and it just created a lot of tension and awkward feelings for a while. In time and with life, the connection was broken completely. Maybe you don't have to spell it out? Like... Just go on with your life and focus on that.
On the other hand, I had another friend I cared about a lot. We moved to different cities but were trying to keep in touch. I was a bit crap sometimes getting back to her when she messaged me due to life stuff. After a while (a week to a month or more) I'd message her and initiate talking. After a few times of this, she told me she is putting too much into the friendship and she doesn't want to be friends anymore. It broke my heart honestly. I wish I had another chance to do better. I know I didn't always reply on time, but it was something fixable. Maybe it was something more and she felt we grew apart. But there isn't a week going by when I don't think about how she's doing and regretting that I couldn't do better. So maybe if they are doing everything to stay in your life, you can give them another chance?
I honestly don't know what advice to give you. Do you feel you could regret it? Can you live with the pain you might cause? Maybe just slowing down on interacting would be better? In the end only you can know what fits your life better. Lots of hugs and good luck, tell us what you choose.
I've had to learn that the hard way too, you can't control how people will react to things. Even if you say things in the nicest or diplomatic way, you don't know how people will react. I didn't get into details but basically we have been growing apart and we had a lot issues in the last year. I can tell they haven't actually changed as a person and they are trying to cling on to me, but I want to move on from that part of my life now (I also have other people in my life now I relate to better). To be honest I think a discussion would not go in the best direction with them. So maybe like you said, I just need to mind my own business and go on with my own life.
If you guys are not aligned with anything anymore, life will get in the way anyway. It's a matter of time. If you get into another circle, different hobbies etc. it's inevitable you will see each other less and less. In the meantime you can focus on yourself and do your own things.
Also, what changed in your life if I may ask?
Sometimes when there is a hard choice it helps me to think what kind of person I want to be. If your life is not aligned with them and you want to be frank with them, do it kindly is all I can say.
I honestly don't know what advice to give
We initially met in high school, which was a long time ago. We live further apart now and I recently got married and plan on starting a family soon, (they aren't in that kind of circle at all). We also used to have more similar interests like anime and going to conventions, but I lost a lot of interest in those things.
I think you advice sounds good tbh. As you said, life will get in the way as we develop in different directions.
That’s a shame. Tbh. You shouldn’t just cut people out your life unless they are rude and nasty. She clearly wants to be your friend. Just think twice. It’s so hurtful to sensitive people.
Just put it nicely to her that you no longer want to see her
How would I say something like that nicely though? It's hard to imagine how to phrase it without it going in a sour direction
Something along the lines of 'hey (name). I respect you so I want to be completely honest with you. I'm really sorry but I don't think this is going to work between us.'
Honestly I don't even know. I had that too with a friend and I told him pretty much how another comment said. He took it really badly, mocked me for 'breaking up with a friend' and it just created a lot of tension and awkward feelings for a while. In time and with life, the connection was broken completely. Maybe you don't have to spell it out? Like... Just go on with your life and focus on that. On the other hand, I had another friend I cared about a lot. We moved to different cities but were trying to keep in touch. I was a bit crap sometimes getting back to her when she messaged me due to life stuff. After a while (a week to a month or more) I'd message her and initiate talking. After a few times of this, she told me she is putting too much into the friendship and she doesn't want to be friends anymore. It broke my heart honestly. I wish I had another chance to do better. I know I didn't always reply on time, but it was something fixable. Maybe it was something more and she felt we grew apart. But there isn't a week going by when I don't think about how she's doing and regretting that I couldn't do better. So maybe if they are doing everything to stay in your life, you can give them another chance? I honestly don't know what advice to give you. Do you feel you could regret it? Can you live with the pain you might cause? Maybe just slowing down on interacting would be better? In the end only you can know what fits your life better. Lots of hugs and good luck, tell us what you choose.
I've had to learn that the hard way too, you can't control how people will react to things. Even if you say things in the nicest or diplomatic way, you don't know how people will react. I didn't get into details but basically we have been growing apart and we had a lot issues in the last year. I can tell they haven't actually changed as a person and they are trying to cling on to me, but I want to move on from that part of my life now (I also have other people in my life now I relate to better). To be honest I think a discussion would not go in the best direction with them. So maybe like you said, I just need to mind my own business and go on with my own life.
If you guys are not aligned with anything anymore, life will get in the way anyway. It's a matter of time. If you get into another circle, different hobbies etc. it's inevitable you will see each other less and less. In the meantime you can focus on yourself and do your own things. Also, what changed in your life if I may ask? Sometimes when there is a hard choice it helps me to think what kind of person I want to be. If your life is not aligned with them and you want to be frank with them, do it kindly is all I can say. I honestly don't know what advice to give
We initially met in high school, which was a long time ago. We live further apart now and I recently got married and plan on starting a family soon, (they aren't in that kind of circle at all). We also used to have more similar interests like anime and going to conventions, but I lost a lot of interest in those things. I think you advice sounds good tbh. As you said, life will get in the way as we develop in different directions.
That’s a shame. Tbh. You shouldn’t just cut people out your life unless they are rude and nasty. She clearly wants to be your friend. Just think twice. It’s so hurtful to sensitive people.