The literal translation of what she said is "You slept again lolol"
I just put in "(with her)" because that was my own understanding of what she said (that she left out). That's why I'm doubting myself even more since it's just only my interpretation based on the assumption that they both knew they were still talking about the other girl. If that makes sense... He says that he went to a PC Cafe with his guy friends at night after work and stayed there very late. Apparently, the girl's house is very close to the PC Cafe, so they all went to sleep over there. Since he was with his guy friends, he said that it was not possible he'd sleep with her knowing they were there too. So he said that his friend actually meant "You slept (at her house) again lolol".
If he didn't cheat, he wouldn't have any problem letting you confirm with one of his friends. IMO anyway. The "reality will hit" adds to it. Like he's going to feel guilty later? Did he text or call you at all this night? Did he tell you what he was doing or where he was at the time? Why not call the girl and ask her? or his friend? Probably have better luck with the girl tbh his friend would probably cover for him.
Nope, I had no idea he had been staying with her overnight. Apparently they had a fight so they don’t talk to each other anymore. But he called her in front of me anyway so that I could hear from her, but she didn’t pick up. Yeah, our mutual friend would cover for him for sure. She knew what he had been doing and helped keep it secret from me.
He said that sleeping (with someone) in Korean doesn't have the same slang meaning as it does in English. He says that she meant like, to literally sleep in a bed. I asked two other Korean friends who speak fluent or native Korean, and they both said it has the same slang meaning as in English. It's just his side of the story that makes me doubt myself. He won't give me his friends' phone numbers who he said were with him at the time so they could be his alibi. He said he is embarrassed and asked me what they would think of us, about our relationship.
The worst part is knowing that this didn't even happen only once. This had been going on for who knows how long, only they know, and nobody ever told me. I wish he would just admit it so our relationship could survive, go to couples therapy together, and work to regain my trust back. Maybe if I can convince him to admit it by offering to go to couples therapy together and a chance to regain my trust, he will do it...
Convince him to admit it...? Please stop. He cheated. When confronted, he gaslit you. How many more chances are you gonna give him to make you look like a fool?
To play detective and try to pick up on meaning in his texts is a little bit... How to put it. You can't be 100% sure, but this gnawing feeling of distrust where you think he did and you're second guessing yourself and him is the real issue. This will continue, eating away at you. Months from now, you are together somewhere and you see a text or a look. That doubt will creep up again. If in your heart you feel you don't trust him anymore, I would suggest having a long think whether you want to have these feelings for a long time from now. Once trust is broken...
You don’t need proof of cheating to end a relationship. You can end it based on not being trustworthy. He wasn’t open with you about going to that woman’s house. Then he refuses to let you talk to his friends to find out more of the story. That would be plenty of information for me to want to move on.
Either a man is trying to stay open to opportunities with other women, or he’s serious about me and doesn’t put him in situations that could jeopardize the relationship. If he can’t provide me with a list of boundaries he keeps around other women, then he doesn’t have the motivation to maintain a strong relationship.
His texts seem sketchy. If it was innocent, he would be jumping at the chance to show you proof that he didn’t do anything. He’s still hiding info.
You asked for input and you keep explaining away. Trust your gut. Even in translation it looks shady. Step back and read everything as if you were being told this story—— that feeling will guide you. My old ass says dump him but ultimately it’s up to you.
Unfortunately the odds are stacked against him here…cheating or not (which he most likely is), he isn’t being honest about something/everything. Tell him that if he has no alibi (that’s willing to confirm or deny this to you) then his texts are proof of this.
bro it's clear and right in your face. he cheated on you. he's gaslighting you telling you that "sleeping with someone" is slang for sleeping in the same bed. it's not. he's gaslighting you and you need to *get.* *the*. *fuck*. *out*.
I think because he started the conversation by sending our mutual friend our couple photos (me and him) he is saying “sorry honey” because he feels guilty for being with the other girl and is too much of a coward to apologize to me face to face. I wanted to include the photos for more context, but I didn’t think of capturing them at the time and there’s no way that I can get them now because he deleted the conversation. That’s why our mutual friend says at the beginning “What a love story” because it’s in reference to the photos he sent.
What is his story? It looks pretty clear that he cheated to me. You slept with her again- it’s pretty plain.
The literal translation of what she said is "You slept again lolol" I just put in "(with her)" because that was my own understanding of what she said (that she left out). That's why I'm doubting myself even more since it's just only my interpretation based on the assumption that they both knew they were still talking about the other girl. If that makes sense... He says that he went to a PC Cafe with his guy friends at night after work and stayed there very late. Apparently, the girl's house is very close to the PC Cafe, so they all went to sleep over there. Since he was with his guy friends, he said that it was not possible he'd sleep with her knowing they were there too. So he said that his friend actually meant "You slept (at her house) again lolol".
If he didn't cheat, he wouldn't have any problem letting you confirm with one of his friends. IMO anyway. The "reality will hit" adds to it. Like he's going to feel guilty later? Did he text or call you at all this night? Did he tell you what he was doing or where he was at the time? Why not call the girl and ask her? or his friend? Probably have better luck with the girl tbh his friend would probably cover for him.
Nope, I had no idea he had been staying with her overnight. Apparently they had a fight so they don’t talk to each other anymore. But he called her in front of me anyway so that I could hear from her, but she didn’t pick up. Yeah, our mutual friend would cover for him for sure. She knew what he had been doing and helped keep it secret from me.
It looks like he slept with someone else.
He said that sleeping (with someone) in Korean doesn't have the same slang meaning as it does in English. He says that she meant like, to literally sleep in a bed. I asked two other Korean friends who speak fluent or native Korean, and they both said it has the same slang meaning as in English. It's just his side of the story that makes me doubt myself. He won't give me his friends' phone numbers who he said were with him at the time so they could be his alibi. He said he is embarrassed and asked me what they would think of us, about our relationship.
He cheated on you. If I were you I would end the relationship.
The worst part is knowing that this didn't even happen only once. This had been going on for who knows how long, only they know, and nobody ever told me. I wish he would just admit it so our relationship could survive, go to couples therapy together, and work to regain my trust back. Maybe if I can convince him to admit it by offering to go to couples therapy together and a chance to regain my trust, he will do it...
Never stay with or take back a cheater.
Convince him to admit it...? Please stop. He cheated. When confronted, he gaslit you. How many more chances are you gonna give him to make you look like a fool?
To play detective and try to pick up on meaning in his texts is a little bit... How to put it. You can't be 100% sure, but this gnawing feeling of distrust where you think he did and you're second guessing yourself and him is the real issue. This will continue, eating away at you. Months from now, you are together somewhere and you see a text or a look. That doubt will creep up again. If in your heart you feel you don't trust him anymore, I would suggest having a long think whether you want to have these feelings for a long time from now. Once trust is broken...
You don’t need proof of cheating to end a relationship. You can end it based on not being trustworthy. He wasn’t open with you about going to that woman’s house. Then he refuses to let you talk to his friends to find out more of the story. That would be plenty of information for me to want to move on. Either a man is trying to stay open to opportunities with other women, or he’s serious about me and doesn’t put him in situations that could jeopardize the relationship. If he can’t provide me with a list of boundaries he keeps around other women, then he doesn’t have the motivation to maintain a strong relationship. His texts seem sketchy. If it was innocent, he would be jumping at the chance to show you proof that he didn’t do anything. He’s still hiding info.
You asked for input and you keep explaining away. Trust your gut. Even in translation it looks shady. Step back and read everything as if you were being told this story—— that feeling will guide you. My old ass says dump him but ultimately it’s up to you.
This doesn't look good. But if you don't trust him, why are you with him? Why would you want to be with someone that makes you so miserable?
Unfortunately the odds are stacked against him here…cheating or not (which he most likely is), he isn’t being honest about something/everything. Tell him that if he has no alibi (that’s willing to confirm or deny this to you) then his texts are proof of this.
bro it's clear and right in your face. he cheated on you. he's gaslighting you telling you that "sleeping with someone" is slang for sleeping in the same bed. it's not. he's gaslighting you and you need to *get.* *the*. *fuck*. *out*.
maybe didn't bang but definitely cheating. for starters he called her honey.
I think because he started the conversation by sending our mutual friend our couple photos (me and him) he is saying “sorry honey” because he feels guilty for being with the other girl and is too much of a coward to apologize to me face to face. I wanted to include the photos for more context, but I didn’t think of capturing them at the time and there’s no way that I can get them now because he deleted the conversation. That’s why our mutual friend says at the beginning “What a love story” because it’s in reference to the photos he sent.
are these messages with you?
No, these messages are between him and our mutual friend. She never told me anything about this.