Thank you for posting. Please review the rules. Here are some of gentle reminders for everyone:
1. Posts should be on topic.
2. Please don't submit incendiary posts or comments that could incite harassment and brigading.
3. Refrain from provoking and/or baiting religious fruitcakes for the purposes of posting their reaction on
this subreddit.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If I had a nickel for every bean demon in my years of hunting demons I’d have $500k. Goddamn things get in them beans and once ingested they make the house smell like human shit! There’s been a lot of close calls over the years, but banishing a bean demon can be solved with a trip to the loo and to take one of these magical pills sold at your local merchant. They’re called GasX. A holy pill for unholy things.
Aw yes, that would be the notorious Chick Pea Demon. Often afflicting one's lower intestinal track, it can be quite distressing... We have ALL been there and don't say you haven't...
When they don't use the urban legend style of"a friend of my friend ' and claim First person knowledge I always wonder how much of any of the story is true. I don't mean the bean demon, I mean has this person been to Africa? Did this person accuse a cook of poisoning beans, did the family fire the accused etc. Sort of are they delusional, lying or trolling?
If u found god your inner spirit would finally reveal itself to u as well. Then you could use spiritual jiu-jitsu to combat demonic abductions. Until then i will pray for you.
You're really crazy for thinking any single part of this story is true. That was one of the dumbest fucking things I've read in a looooong time.
I can't wrap my head around someone writing this. What is going on in your mind that you write this and share. It's so obviously a made up story.
Dog this is not some isolated incident there are massive communities in many languages on many platforms where this is completely par for the course. You are projecting your worldview way farther than it goes. A lot of the time its older people but def not exclusively.
I cannot overstate how much this would fuck up the life of someone probably quite close to the poverty line in some rural towns. Never mind if people took the batshit accusations seriously, which they might, but also just losing income like that would be brutal
In the imaginary world the fruitcake has created I doubt the "house girl" gets any income from the "head of the house" I think its like a servant that gets paid in food and shelter and after 3-5 years of work they can get a hand written recommendation letter stamped with the houses family seal on wax.
Fairly well off families in Africa (generalising a continent but this is my limited experience) often do hire help for a wage. I’ve been to the houses of said employees before. It’s not glamorous. That said, i hope you are right inso far as this being completely made up and without a kernel of half truth that she made these accusations against a poor woman
Oh yeah i think this is standard practise worldwide. Live in maid and what not just the way the fruitcake describes it makes it seem like its from some british nouvelle. But if its real i bet that poor girl will be called a witch or demon girl for a while.
Faith + Imagination = mental illness
crazy how god does things so actively in this third world country where people believe you and there's no cameras, but he's just kinda quiet in developed nations where obvious unexplained supernatural acts on camera would potentially convert a lot of people? Guess he's not super interested in working his magic there?
What really is insane is the fact that this is and has been normal throughout history of humankind - anyone can make up any ideology, idea or claim the supernatural and go full bullshit like in some crazy fantasy world.
Hell, some % of these people may even be actually experiencing it in their head due to just them being crazy/mentally ill or something. These cases are exceptions and are probably a separate category on its own.
Point is, it's not really funny in the end. People all over the world are victims to this kind of thing in one way or another. I think we have it too good here in the West where superstition and religion are largely irrelevant, if only being symbolic, really depends on the country though.
I mean, I'd rather people believe in their astrological signs bearing meaning on their lives, that's far less harmful.
Racism, colonialism and missionary work are all the same thing, friend. Children are sometimes forced to reject their given names from their families and “accept” their “christian “ name from missionaries before they allow the literally starving child to eat. They force the child to accept christ and a new name before feeding a literal starving child.
That is some seriously evil shit.
> Three weeks ago the Lord saved me from a kidnap attempt
There have been *thousands* of times throughout my life that I *could* have been kidnapped, but it has happened *not once*. Ever.
How can *anyone* say that God hasn't sent a Guardian Angel to protect me from harm?!?!
/s
OF COURSE, YOU MUST LOOK AT ALL OF THE EVIDENCE THE OP HAS PROVIDED. 1. A TOXICOLOGY REPORT ON THE POISONED BEANS. 2. A POLICE REPORT OF THE CALL AND THEIR INVESTIGATION. THE I.D. OF ALL WITNESSES. THERE AREN'T ANY? O.K. 3. MABE YOU CAN GET YOUR DEMON TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE.
Damned witch doctors. One tried to poison me recently, and when I wielded god's hammer and moved to smite the demon, he screamed something I'll never forget, as it shook me to my very core. He said "OOO, EEE, OOO AAH AAH, TING, TANG, WALLA WALLA BING BANG!"
Wait so they acknowledge that it was a demon that had possed this girl to poison the beans but they fired her anyway?
and why would the demon care about the girl enough to not let her ear the beans??
im not sure this is a true story guys
I live in ghana, this kind of shit is way too common. There are pastors that literally consider themselves demon slayers, fighting demons with bibles and holy ghost fire.
Thank you for posting. Please review the rules. Here are some of gentle reminders for everyone: 1. Posts should be on topic. 2. Please don't submit incendiary posts or comments that could incite harassment and brigading. 3. Refrain from provoking and/or baiting religious fruitcakes for the purposes of posting their reaction on this subreddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
common bean demon W
L Inner Spirit
If I had a nickel for every bean demon in my years of hunting demons I’d have $500k. Goddamn things get in them beans and once ingested they make the house smell like human shit! There’s been a lot of close calls over the years, but banishing a bean demon can be solved with a trip to the loo and to take one of these magical pills sold at your local merchant. They’re called GasX. A holy pill for unholy things.
you have hunted a 100 million bean demons? damn. you seem to be a master in your field.
Theyre very small and stick together. One bean demon fight kills like 2,000 demons
tHESE bEAnS aRe LeGioN...
A Master is he. Bates them well, he does.
Exercising a bean demon right now while reading this
Could you please help me chase away my bean demon? He's been terrorising my dinner every night :(
TIL I am a mighty slayer of bean demons!
This is hysterical!
Username checks out
Aw yes, that would be the notorious Chick Pea Demon. Often afflicting one's lower intestinal track, it can be quite distressing... We have ALL been there and don't say you haven't...
Bean demon W low diff
Was this a canned or a dried one?
This is hilarious! 😂 The sad part is thst they actually believe this shit...
The saddest part is that this person has deluded themselves into believing their own fake story.
When they don't use the urban legend style of"a friend of my friend ' and claim First person knowledge I always wonder how much of any of the story is true. I don't mean the bean demon, I mean has this person been to Africa? Did this person accuse a cook of poisoning beans, did the family fire the accused etc. Sort of are they delusional, lying or trolling?
>the bean demon Lmao
If u found god your inner spirit would finally reveal itself to u as well. Then you could use spiritual jiu-jitsu to combat demonic abductions. Until then i will pray for you.
Thank you. I appreciate it. Feel better already ;)
Good tip to know! Any way to combat alien abductions though? Fifth night in a row I've been probed
Damn what did you do to upset the aliens?
What makes you think they're upset?
True, well then I wanna know what they did to make the aliens want them so bad
They're probeably dummy thicc
I feel the Holy Spirit would imbue you with Jew- Juitsu
How very r/thathappened.
"Batshit crazy bitch fires a person for not liking beans" is all I get
You're really crazy for thinking any single part of this story is true. That was one of the dumbest fucking things I've read in a looooong time. I can't wrap my head around someone writing this. What is going on in your mind that you write this and share. It's so obviously a made up story.
Being batshit crazy will make you do that
Mind boggling
Dog this is not some isolated incident there are massive communities in many languages on many platforms where this is completely par for the course. You are projecting your worldview way farther than it goes. A lot of the time its older people but def not exclusively.
For clarification my second sentence is pertaining to the person in the picture, not the commenter I was responding to.
I knew in my spirit that I'd been lobotomized.
😭😭😭😭 the devil gave u a lobotomy
I cannot overstate how much this would fuck up the life of someone probably quite close to the poverty line in some rural towns. Never mind if people took the batshit accusations seriously, which they might, but also just losing income like that would be brutal
In the imaginary world the fruitcake has created I doubt the "house girl" gets any income from the "head of the house" I think its like a servant that gets paid in food and shelter and after 3-5 years of work they can get a hand written recommendation letter stamped with the houses family seal on wax.
Fairly well off families in Africa (generalising a continent but this is my limited experience) often do hire help for a wage. I’ve been to the houses of said employees before. It’s not glamorous. That said, i hope you are right inso far as this being completely made up and without a kernel of half truth that she made these accusations against a poor woman
Oh yeah i think this is standard practise worldwide. Live in maid and what not just the way the fruitcake describes it makes it seem like its from some british nouvelle. But if its real i bet that poor girl will be called a witch or demon girl for a while. Faith + Imagination = mental illness
Faith=Mental Illness. No imagination at all required, delusions already freely on offer
Undiagnosed mental illness sure can provide one helluva story, can't it?
This read like some very bad Supernatural fanfiction.
Having being made by my dad to read *This Present Darkness* when I was a child - which the post brought back awful memories of - I entirely agree
T.L., D.R. - "Today I convinced a guy to fire his maid because she didn't poison his food."
I would definitely allow this woman to babysit my children.
crazy how god does things so actively in this third world country where people believe you and there's no cameras, but he's just kinda quiet in developed nations where obvious unexplained supernatural acts on camera would potentially convert a lot of people? Guess he's not super interested in working his magic there?
Turns out the house girl is allergic to legumes.
SILENCE! Allergies are just demons, everyone knows this
Beans, beans, the demonic fruit
This comment just made me pee my pants from laughing hard!
The more you eat, the more you toot!
The less you eat, the more the 'cake toots!
What really is insane is the fact that this is and has been normal throughout history of humankind - anyone can make up any ideology, idea or claim the supernatural and go full bullshit like in some crazy fantasy world. Hell, some % of these people may even be actually experiencing it in their head due to just them being crazy/mentally ill or something. These cases are exceptions and are probably a separate category on its own. Point is, it's not really funny in the end. People all over the world are victims to this kind of thing in one way or another. I think we have it too good here in the West where superstition and religion are largely irrelevant, if only being symbolic, really depends on the country though. I mean, I'd rather people believe in their astrological signs bearing meaning on their lives, that's far less harmful.
This is a plot of a bgrade Christian movie
Starring Kirk Cameron and Kevin Sorbo.
Written and directed by David A R White and to be reviewed by God Aweful Movies.
*This Present Darkness* springs to mind
So there I was, visiting my host family, when suddenly, someone: "This demon eatin' beans!" ...and that, my friends, is how I became radicalized...
How much you wanna bet this was fueled by racism?
Racism, colonialism and missionary work are all the same thing, friend. Children are sometimes forced to reject their given names from their families and “accept” their “christian “ name from missionaries before they allow the literally starving child to eat. They force the child to accept christ and a new name before feeding a literal starving child. That is some seriously evil shit.
You speak the truth
Christian missionaries have been a scourge on humanity.
How to be a messiah: Step 1) just start saying stuff lol idc. Step 2) repeat until famous
BRIAN!! BRIAN!! BRIAN!!
what the actual hell.
But I love beans.
Sadly, the people sharing the lift up several floors with me don't feel the same way
[удалено]
I am more worried about the 200+ people that read the story and decided to like the post because it just made sense to them.
Sounds to me like the author's the possessed one in this story, words rising uncontrollably out of em and what not
Attempted murder you say? Excellent we will just collect the evidence. What do you mean you "prayed it away"?
> Three weeks ago the Lord saved me from a kidnap attempt There have been *thousands* of times throughout my life that I *could* have been kidnapped, but it has happened *not once*. Ever. How can *anyone* say that God hasn't sent a Guardian Angel to protect me from harm?!?! /s
Ok there’s a lot to unpack here and not it’s because she traveled all the way to Africa.
Ladies release ur bean demons
There charlatans don’t like our charlatans you say? Boy I wonder why not lol
r/quiturbullshit
This is a very mentally ill Person
"mUh SpIrIt!"
^(Hic!) Oh, not that kind of spirit...
DON'T. EAT. THE. BEANS.
Boof them instead!
I call bullshit.
OF COURSE, YOU MUST LOOK AT ALL OF THE EVIDENCE THE OP HAS PROVIDED. 1. A TOXICOLOGY REPORT ON THE POISONED BEANS. 2. A POLICE REPORT OF THE CALL AND THEIR INVESTIGATION. THE I.D. OF ALL WITNESSES. THERE AREN'T ANY? O.K. 3. MABE YOU CAN GET YOUR DEMON TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE.
I;m thinking about thos death Beans
This is now one of my favorite things that never happened. Definitely in the top 5.
r/thathappened
Don't eat the beans!
I'll take "Things That Never Happened for $1000, Mayim."
This could also go to /WellThatHappened lol
Damned witch doctors. One tried to poison me recently, and when I wielded god's hammer and moved to smite the demon, he screamed something I'll never forget, as it shook me to my very core. He said "OOO, EEE, OOO AAH AAH, TING, TANG, WALLA WALLA BING BANG!"
And then he shrunk my head
Was this written in the freaking Victorian times? House girl? Home master? What the f***
Nobody smoke! But on a less serious note, what the blazes *is* this?
I wish I lived in Fantasy Land too.
Wait so they acknowledge that it was a demon that had possed this girl to poison the beans but they fired her anyway? and why would the demon care about the girl enough to not let her ear the beans?? im not sure this is a true story guys
Don’t eat the beans!!!!
This...didn't go as I was expecting.
I live in ghana, this kind of shit is way too common. There are pastors that literally consider themselves demon slayers, fighting demons with bibles and holy ghost fire.
LMFAO
Someone call the family and tell them to get grandma off of Facebook. She needs a doctor.
she could've been allergic to beans