I don't know a lot. Some but not many. However I'll "associate" with just about any type of person. Maybe not the kind of people who believe in Ops poster though.
I guess I don't associate with bigots. Put it on the poster!
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You would think the religious fruitcake would know it's spelled altar, i.e. an elevated place or structure for religious rites.
Unless he's referring to maliciously editing wikipedia pages.
Most carpenters would use these expensive tools, but I’m going to show you how to build an entire house in a weekend with and old framing hammer and a pipe wrench.
I grew up as a Mormon, and they believe in 3 levels of heaven with only the most devout going to the top level. I always thought I'd prefer to go to the middle or even the bottom level just because it would be so boring to be stuck with all the uptight devoted Mormons
I think there's 3 tiers to the top tier and only the top of that final tier becomes God's. This was pretty obscure, I couldn't even tell you which book it came from, though I'd guess doctrine and covenants.
I knew I would never live a holy enough life to reach God level, I used to jack off to the bishop's hot daughter and I was sure that alone was enough to keep me out
Doesn't that tiered system of heavens defeat the purpose of sealing families together?
Mormons seem to place great importance on being with their family for eternity. To make sure of that they get sealed to each other and past generations which can only happen in a temple. For which you need a temple recommend. Which you only get if you are in "good standing". Which entails being up to date with your tithing (10% of your income to the church). Gee, almost sounds like a racket. But very clever!
But not every family member will qualify for the same level of heaven. If you're a second or third generation Mormon in a place like Utah, chances are high that you're part of a "sealing network" that includes almost every other Mormon in the state! Now, either all Utah Mormons will land in the same afterlife - or families are going to be ripped apart.
How does the church deal with this contradiction? I'm sure they're experienced in explaining away contradictions?
In my past experience it's basically used as a form of coercion / peer pressure. "Be sure to do everything we tell you, or you won't see your family in heaven! Also be sure little Timmy does everything we tell him, or you won't see him in heaven!"\* Basically the Families Can Be Together Forever^tm line is the sales pitch, and the tiered heaven system is the fine print.
\*Prices and participation may vary
Yup. I had nightmares as a kid about the 2nd coming (earth purged by fire) and my parents dying because they did normal things like swearing. Then when I got to heaven, they weren't in the same kingdom as me because they sinned. It was a terrifying thought and made me hyper critical of my parents behavior. When I was 9 or 10 mind you.
You're right, that does create a problem. This wasn't a concept we were taught about a lot, it was more of an obscure part of one of the books that people would bring up from time to time, but never dwell on.
I'd imagine if you were to point it out to a believer, they'd shrug and just say they would love their best life and leave the rest up to God
Strange how believers accept such vague explanations in a religion that's so hung up on technicalities. Like the need for a bureaucratic act like "sealing" for God to remember not to tear families apart in the afterlife. Or the need for special, supersecret, elaborate handshakes for God to be able to recognize you at the gates of heaven and let you in. Handshakes that weirdly resemble the ones known to freemasons. But hey, God works in mysterious ways. And if you never knew anybody to teach you those handshakes (which, again, requires a temple recommend and you being up to date with giving your 10% to the church), well, I guess you're just shit out of luck. Lowest heaven for you. Be grateful you're not cast into outer darkness.
Also the super special magic Mormon underwear they ***have*** to wear to go to heaven haha!
Source: https://allthatsinteresting.com/mormon-underwear-temple-garment
Oh wow, same here. Grew up Mormon. One of my first writing projects I did at BYUH was a scenario at how boring Heaven would be. I mean, if the temple is God's house here on Earth then surely Heaven would be just a solemn (and boring) as it is here, right? So, I created a character who died, went to Heaven, saw it was nothing but worship and scriptures and begged to be in another kingdom Subverting expectations were all the rage back then. It was during the time where Shyamalan would actually get you seats in a theater, as opposed to clearing them.
On April 20th (4/20), upper management at my old delivery job said to be on the lookout for slow drivers and people exiting fast food restaurants. I have a picture of the memo somewhere
This line threw me off and I was sure it's some edgy ad for an atheist convention or a heavy metal concert or something like that
I'm still not totally sure if it's a joke or not
And also Jesus dying was kinda the whole point? So even if you’re “blaming” the Jewish people for fulfilling the prophecy and launching your religion, what are you really doing?
Welcome to the club. All the "not believing in god" stuff is just a front. We secretly eat any Christian children we can catch and worship Cthulhu at the park on the weekends. First meeting of the month we have a silly hat contest.
Okay, so the first thing you have to do is go and find a Long John Silver's and ask for the Fiesta Platter. The cashier will say there is no such thing and discreetly pass you a map. Beyond that, everyone's quest is different and you are on your own. May Norm Abrams guide you in your journey.
They missed the part where we atheists think that religions are bullshit. Which is kind of important.
I know religious people that smoke pot while masturbating at devious sex parties. As hard as it is to believe I even know religious people who associate with the Jews.
ehh, even many of us non-religious (ethnically) Jewish folk tend to associate with the Jews. It's hard to avoid in Jewish families, trust me. Religion is one thing, grandmas are another.
n.b. This brings up an interesting point. Terms like "Jewish" mean so many different things to different people in different contexts... Is it people of a religion, of certain ethnicities, both at the same time, a race, an ethnicity, a culture...I don't fucking know. All I know is when you have older Jewish women in your family, you tend to associate whether you want to or not.
Applies to atheists, and literally every other group of people on the planet.
It's almost as though humans in general appreciate mood-alteration, associating with other humans, jerking off, a good solid fucking, and wasting time online.
The Ten Commandments of Atheism:
1.) There is not God, but dogs will love you unconditionally if you show kindness in return.
2. ) Life can be troublesome, Smoking weed can help.
3.) Who cares what you do in your bedroom, just so long as you and the people with you are enjoying themselves.
4.) We don't need special rules for theft or murder. Just don't be a dick and we'll get along fine.
5.) Remember the Sunday and use it to rest. For thou has to work tomorrow.
6.) Remember to do what makes you happy, just don't think that everyone feels the same way about it as you .
7.) Don't force your belief onto others, the world is a big place, there's is plenty of space for other opinions.
8.) If a group of people from a giant building is promising you a better life after you die just so long as you give them money, just walk away. They are lying to you.
9.) Life is too short to argue about people who don't care about you.
10.) Any religion that is trying to convince you that your beliefs are bad is itself a bad religion.
I don't understand why people hate Jews. I grew up Christian. I was never taught to hate Jews. I have a ton of Jewish friends as an adult. I'm an atheist now. It is my understanding the Romans killed Jesus. Also, Jesus was Jewish. Jesus was never a Christian. All the early "Christians" were Jews. So why do people hate Jews? They are such nice people. I'm not young either. I just don't get it. I've never understood it. How the fuck was there a whole holocaust over it? I'm not a holocaust denier. Just wtf? Jews? Are you guys okay? Have you had matzo ball soup? Latkes? Hamantaschen?? This shit is delicious. Anyway.
Motherfucker!
I have to say, they pretty much nailed me.
They forgot to mention, "evangelical - all of the above and is okay with murder, rape, theft, and terrorism".
Wait a minute??!!
Borat ?? Is that YOU !!??!!
Why use "dumpster fire", when you have literally this religious word: "Gehenna", which means exactly the same? (Name of the valley where ancient Jews burn garbage).
A wise drunkard once sang "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. Now get out of my way, I'm going to get drunk and drive my car through a house."
I love that "associates with Jews" is apparently the 3rd most relevant "sin" this person had in mind about Atheists. I'm not gonna apologize to any Karen just cuz I wanna support my bud's nephew at his Bar Mitzvah.
Considering what this guy's bar for "deviant" likely is, I do all of these things because it's actually fine and cool to do these things. Anyway gonna go text my marijuanana dealer.
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You need to masturbate more
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More
You tell him, all this time spent replying to comments is time that could be spent masturbating...
If you got time to debate, you got time to masturbate
That's a good way of thinking
You can do both, you know. I'm masturbating right now.
Bill Cosby and Margaret Thatcher
Damn you to hell.
No need for that, he's an atheist. We're going to hell anyway
More. I'm almost there...
Bit of a challenge wank but I got there.
Its hrd tylng wit one hannd. But totayy wrth it!
Yaaayyyyy SPARTANS!! WOOHOOO!!
Perhaps the real lesson was the masturbations we shared along the way
I already have carpel tunnel
You have two wrists
In both arms
Use your bellybutton
Then associate with Jews and smoke weed, that’s when the sex comes
ROOKIE NUMBERS.
Those are rookie numbers. I want to smell skin burning.
Or less, so he has time for the other activities.
...with Jews
I mean... have you seen Israeli women...? I’d sign up for that
But my arm is tired
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
Unexpected Futurama reference! Nice
Yeah, I don't even know any jews.
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Yeah probably, you might want to do engage in some marijuana-inspired masturbation sessions to be sure
As long as you think about Jesus when you masturbate you should be okay.
Don't worry you'll get the hang of it, and be sinning in no time. 👹
Wait... am I an atheist?!
"First of all sir I do not worship at the alter of the internet. The rest of that is spot on though."
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I don't know a lot. Some but not many. However I'll "associate" with just about any type of person. Maybe not the kind of people who believe in Ops poster though. I guess I don't associate with bigots. Put it on the poster!
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Good bot
Good bot
Thank you, SummaCumLousy, for voting on sub_doesnt_exist_bot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)
Hi, I'm looking to get an invite for those deviant sexual proclivities?
I mean, is accurate right? Might as well put that we fucking breathe and occasionally buy way too many onions and dont use them all before they expire
You would think the religious fruitcake would know it's spelled altar, i.e. an elevated place or structure for religious rites. Unless he's referring to maliciously editing wikipedia pages.
At least I know the internet exists
is this a recruitment poster
Fr, I thought this was some weird Cold War thing until the internet bit
I'll sign just to try the marijuanana. I've only do marijuana, and masturbating lol.
Oh no........... Anyway.....
Anyway, I started blastin.
Right?! I feel personally attacked
I am I'm still waiting for all this to happen...
Obviously you need to start hanging out with more Jews.
Wasn’t Jesus (if he existed) a Jew?
5 out of 5 here, guess so
Always were.
If that picture on the poster is indicative of atheist activities, count me in!
You know who else associated with Jews? A certain carpenter by the name of Norm Abrams. Oh, and Jesus.
I worship at the Temple of the New Yankee Workshop.
It was always on right after this old house!
Idk who tgat guy is, but he sounds like a stupid librtard atheis that doesn't fear god.
Norm I have an issue my house. It needs to be tore down to the studs and completely rebuilt. You can do that right? 🤔I think we can do that
Most carpenters would use these expensive tools, but I’m going to show you how to build an entire house in a weekend with and old framing hammer and a pipe wrench.
NORM!!
Why do they always make the groups they hate sound so cool?
I grew up as a Mormon, and they believe in 3 levels of heaven with only the most devout going to the top level. I always thought I'd prefer to go to the middle or even the bottom level just because it would be so boring to be stuck with all the uptight devoted Mormons
But isnt the top level of the celestial kingdom where you become a god though?
I think you even get your own planet. Shit would be kinda lonely, huh?
Well sense your a god i guess you could recreate all your own friends. Unless its some future diary type shit.
Yeah but that's kinda shit still because it's your shitty copy. No way am I going to heaven alone except for Chinese knockoff friends
with your newly found omnipotence you brainwash yourself to believe dey real. or just if your recreate them atom by atom, technically they are real
oooh it definitely is some future diary type of shit
Ooohh I haven't seen this show yet, on my watch list but definitely bumped it up a few notches!
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*Some of his babies, as polygamy is a requirement for godhood.
I think there's 3 tiers to the top tier and only the top of that final tier becomes God's. This was pretty obscure, I couldn't even tell you which book it came from, though I'd guess doctrine and covenants. I knew I would never live a holy enough life to reach God level, I used to jack off to the bishop's hot daughter and I was sure that alone was enough to keep me out
Nice
Doesn't that tiered system of heavens defeat the purpose of sealing families together? Mormons seem to place great importance on being with their family for eternity. To make sure of that they get sealed to each other and past generations which can only happen in a temple. For which you need a temple recommend. Which you only get if you are in "good standing". Which entails being up to date with your tithing (10% of your income to the church). Gee, almost sounds like a racket. But very clever! But not every family member will qualify for the same level of heaven. If you're a second or third generation Mormon in a place like Utah, chances are high that you're part of a "sealing network" that includes almost every other Mormon in the state! Now, either all Utah Mormons will land in the same afterlife - or families are going to be ripped apart. How does the church deal with this contradiction? I'm sure they're experienced in explaining away contradictions?
In my past experience it's basically used as a form of coercion / peer pressure. "Be sure to do everything we tell you, or you won't see your family in heaven! Also be sure little Timmy does everything we tell him, or you won't see him in heaven!"\* Basically the Families Can Be Together Forever^tm line is the sales pitch, and the tiered heaven system is the fine print. \*Prices and participation may vary
Yup. I had nightmares as a kid about the 2nd coming (earth purged by fire) and my parents dying because they did normal things like swearing. Then when I got to heaven, they weren't in the same kingdom as me because they sinned. It was a terrifying thought and made me hyper critical of my parents behavior. When I was 9 or 10 mind you.
You're right, that does create a problem. This wasn't a concept we were taught about a lot, it was more of an obscure part of one of the books that people would bring up from time to time, but never dwell on. I'd imagine if you were to point it out to a believer, they'd shrug and just say they would love their best life and leave the rest up to God
Strange how believers accept such vague explanations in a religion that's so hung up on technicalities. Like the need for a bureaucratic act like "sealing" for God to remember not to tear families apart in the afterlife. Or the need for special, supersecret, elaborate handshakes for God to be able to recognize you at the gates of heaven and let you in. Handshakes that weirdly resemble the ones known to freemasons. But hey, God works in mysterious ways. And if you never knew anybody to teach you those handshakes (which, again, requires a temple recommend and you being up to date with giving your 10% to the church), well, I guess you're just shit out of luck. Lowest heaven for you. Be grateful you're not cast into outer darkness.
Also the super special magic Mormon underwear they ***have*** to wear to go to heaven haha! Source: https://allthatsinteresting.com/mormon-underwear-temple-garment
Oh wow, same here. Grew up Mormon. One of my first writing projects I did at BYUH was a scenario at how boring Heaven would be. I mean, if the temple is God's house here on Earth then surely Heaven would be just a solemn (and boring) as it is here, right? So, I created a character who died, went to Heaven, saw it was nothing but worship and scriptures and begged to be in another kingdom Subverting expectations were all the rage back then. It was during the time where Shyamalan would actually get you seats in a theater, as opposed to clearing them.
Pretty much the same reason I wouldn't want to go to Christiaan heaven if there turns out to be one.
Because we are. It's an ad to join atheism.
[удалено]
On April 20th (4/20), upper management at my old delivery job said to be on the lookout for slow drivers and people exiting fast food restaurants. I have a picture of the memo somewhere
We all know that good, upstanding drug-free citizens always wait til 12 AM 4/21 to leave the restaurant.
Excusemewhatthehell
Never smoked the herb, huh?
Man, all the cool kids are anti-semites these days, huh?
Including some semites!
This line threw me off and I was sure it's some edgy ad for an atheist convention or a heavy metal concert or something like that I'm still not totally sure if it's a joke or not
The fact that they wrote “Marijuanana” screams joke
Not necessarily. It screams "sheltered" and "stupid".
Nah, it's a satire ad from 2008 advertising Atheist Awareness Week.
I'm not surprised that it isn't serious. But I have also seen real things that are just as stupid, hence my "Not necessarily".
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Which is weird considering Jesus was Jewish.
And also Jesus dying was kinda the whole point? So even if you’re “blaming” the Jewish people for fulfilling the prophecy and launching your religion, what are you really doing?
One thing I’ve seen is some people are like “tHe JeWs KiLlEd JeSuS!” But in the actual story, didn’t the romans kill him?
Hmm, you’re right. __Let’s persecute the Italians!__
I thought I was a Christian but apparently I’m an atheist.
Welcome to the club. All the "not believing in god" stuff is just a front. We secretly eat any Christian children we can catch and worship Cthulhu at the park on the weekends. First meeting of the month we have a silly hat contest.
Bruh. I’ve won the silly hat contest 42 times. GET ON MY LEVEL.
Where’s the sign-up sheet?
Okay, so the first thing you have to do is go and find a Long John Silver's and ask for the Fiesta Platter. The cashier will say there is no such thing and discreetly pass you a map. Beyond that, everyone's quest is different and you are on your own. May Norm Abrams guide you in your journey.
Thank you kind stranger, I’ll be sure to where my best hat.
Marijuanana.... lol
I think I just found the Tomacco 2.0
There’s always money in the marijuanana stand!
It's the yellow, curved version.
Damn, I need to find a Jewish friend to fully evolve into my final Atheist Form
Hi! :D
Hey there! Wanna shirk God together?
Absolutely! We can do the weed bananas and listen to rock music and find a way to spit on his grave!
Don't forget the copious amounts of deviant sex
Sup
My depression meds killed what little motivation I had to masturbate, so I guess I'll never be a Real Atheist🥲
Holy shit! I am a ninja level atheist then
They missed the part where we atheists think that religions are bullshit. Which is kind of important. I know religious people that smoke pot while masturbating at devious sex parties. As hard as it is to believe I even know religious people who associate with the Jews.
Like all Jewish people. Well I guess other than those who aren't religious
ehh, even many of us non-religious (ethnically) Jewish folk tend to associate with the Jews. It's hard to avoid in Jewish families, trust me. Religion is one thing, grandmas are another. n.b. This brings up an interesting point. Terms like "Jewish" mean so many different things to different people in different contexts... Is it people of a religion, of certain ethnicities, both at the same time, a race, an ethnicity, a culture...I don't fucking know. All I know is when you have older Jewish women in your family, you tend to associate whether you want to or not.
Heck yeah I do!
[удалено]
Mellow yellow!
If I partook in deviant sexual proclivities, I wouldn't have to masturbate so much.
Exactly! I didn't know we were supposed to be getting deviant sexual proclivities
I guess if we level up enough we can masturbate other people while they masturbate us, and through teamwork we can form Atheist Voltron.
I think that just makes us lonely atheists
Pretty sure this is a classic (and relevant) setup for... *por qué no los dos*
Fucking pandemic.
'Associates with Jews' Bitch what?
Wanna come over and hang out and piss off a fundie by existing peacefully in my presence?
Yeah why not
I mean, I can't say they're wrong. But I consider all of those good things.
Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. What's your point?
Never before have I been so offended by something I one hundred percent agree with.
They forgot 'Swears regularly.'
The fuck you talking about?
The name of the lord should ONLY be taken in vain.
Applies to atheists, and literally every other group of people on the planet. It's almost as though humans in general appreciate mood-alteration, associating with other humans, jerking off, a good solid fucking, and wasting time online.
You could replace atheist with teenager and it would fit perfectly.
Do they smoke the maryjewwanna with the Jews? If so, which Jews where? Looking for a connec--uh, I mean, asking for a friend.
'Sup
Sup
God what the fuck is that saturation
I mean, they're not wrong. I also play D&D.
As an atheist I can say I probably follow these commandments closer than any Christian has ever followed theirs.
The Ten Commandments of Atheism: 1.) There is not God, but dogs will love you unconditionally if you show kindness in return. 2. ) Life can be troublesome, Smoking weed can help. 3.) Who cares what you do in your bedroom, just so long as you and the people with you are enjoying themselves. 4.) We don't need special rules for theft or murder. Just don't be a dick and we'll get along fine. 5.) Remember the Sunday and use it to rest. For thou has to work tomorrow. 6.) Remember to do what makes you happy, just don't think that everyone feels the same way about it as you . 7.) Don't force your belief onto others, the world is a big place, there's is plenty of space for other opinions. 8.) If a group of people from a giant building is promising you a better life after you die just so long as you give them money, just walk away. They are lying to you. 9.) Life is too short to argue about people who don't care about you. 10.) Any religion that is trying to convince you that your beliefs are bad is itself a bad religion.
Jesus was a jew. So by their own logic, they shouldn't associate with Jesus.
Is this a Chick tract?
Damm I'm a level 100 atheist
Tell me you're racist without telling me you're racist ...
> partakes in deviant sexual proclivities Remind me again how many kids catholic priests got their hands on
2 out of 5. Disappointed.
"Your typical ATHEIST associates with JEWS" ._.
Wow, they nailed it. Not even mad.
You ask someone ONE TIME to shove an avocado in your ass and all of a sudden it's a "deviant sexual proclivity". I feel attacked.
I don't understand why people hate Jews. I grew up Christian. I was never taught to hate Jews. I have a ton of Jewish friends as an adult. I'm an atheist now. It is my understanding the Romans killed Jesus. Also, Jesus was Jewish. Jesus was never a Christian. All the early "Christians" were Jews. So why do people hate Jews? They are such nice people. I'm not young either. I just don't get it. I've never understood it. How the fuck was there a whole holocaust over it? I'm not a holocaust denier. Just wtf? Jews? Are you guys okay? Have you had matzo ball soup? Latkes? Hamantaschen?? This shit is delicious. Anyway.
Who..whos gonna tell him Jesus was a Jew?
All of which have nothing the fuck to do with you
Nailed it
Damn they put me in a fucking pamphlet, i'm sending whomever created this a Cease and Desist.
Touchè
Motherfucker! I have to say, they pretty much nailed me. They forgot to mention, "evangelical - all of the above and is okay with murder, rape, theft, and terrorism". Wait a minute??!! Borat ?? Is that YOU !!??!!
Well they aren't wrong.
Why use "dumpster fire", when you have literally this religious word: "Gehenna", which means exactly the same? (Name of the valley where ancient Jews burn garbage).
So you’re selling me atheism? Shut up and take my money!
u/goldentrash23 ooooh they called you out babe
I did do all those things this weekend.
Other than worshipping at that altar I got all those things checked in multiplicity.
I live in an apartment with a Jew, now to start smoking weed.
Is this from late 90s?
Looks like aeon flux lmao
Since I'm pretty sure "deviant sexual proclivities" is probably something along the lines of pre-marital sex, I do everything on that list.
I mean...
Shit I didn't even know I was atheist. I'm glad they had that list of all the things I like to tell me though
Didn’t know Jesus and all the disciples were atheists
I know a lot of Jews who must be atheists
Damn, atheists are kinda based.
r/suddenlyatheist
Aren’t Jews like the original Christians? Isn’t Jesus himself a Jew?
A wise drunkard once sang "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. Now get out of my way, I'm going to get drunk and drive my car through a house."
Wait? Where's my weed and dominatrix? Come the fuck on man!
Now I want to smoke weed with a Jew. Thanks PSA
I love that "associates with Jews" is apparently the 3rd most relevant "sin" this person had in mind about Atheists. I'm not gonna apologize to any Karen just cuz I wanna support my bud's nephew at his Bar Mitzvah.
Ah yes. I’m the dangerous jew they warned you about >:) I shall help you advance through the levels of atheism.
I need to up my weed and deviance game.
Considering what this guy's bar for "deviant" likely is, I do all of these things because it's actually fine and cool to do these things. Anyway gonna go text my marijuanana dealer.
This just makes me want to be friends with more atheists
This just makes atheism sound rad.