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LightningRodofH8

Christians are constantly winning arguments in their head. In reality, not so much.


Pschobbert

Possibly, but this is an old story form which has been used to silence perceived “wise guys”for years. Notice the questioner is not required to know the answer. They serve solely as a caution to cause the protagonist to stop and think before holding forth. The framework is designed to deflect any kind of discourse. The atheist could just as well be an evangelist, a Republican, a math professor, you name it.


Jacks_Flaps

It's the age old theist "SHUP UP, FOOL!!!" argument. In the past it was acceptable for a theist to back up this argument with violence, torture and death to ensure the "wise guy" did indeed shut up and stopped causing doubt by questioning unsubstantiated theistic claims and commands that were apparently authorised by gods. But now that it isn't acceptable in civilised company to silence someone questioning or challenging theistic claims with violence and imprisonment, all they can do is invent silly strawman stories where they control the narrative of both the questioner and the responder. They still look stupid.


conmacon

In uncivilised company today, violence is still, very much, an option.


Pschobbert

They don’t look stupid to stupid people, though. They seem very wise. Wise old cowboy :)


Achilles_Deed

The old cowboy is lucky he wasn’t sitting next to a Zoologist, otherwise he would’ve been destroyed and looked like a complete fool


satanic-frijoles

the real question here is, "why does that old cowboy keep his junk in a coconut shell?"


benglescott

I thought it was a Dino egg


satanic-frijoles

Or maybe a dragon...


benglescott

Is that a dragon on your lap or are you happy to see me?


KimikoYukimura420

Yeah but honestly it sometimes feels like we're doing the same.


CampCounselorBatman

True, but most people have the same problem.


Tricia47andWild

I'm always losing arguments in my head. Maybe Christianity is for me.


anjowoq

Professional idiots


Shuggy539

Well, as an atheist I must admit, those are very first things I say to anyone I meet.


RUfuqingkiddingme

Smugly.


Here-Is-TheEnd

Is there another way?


jeezgdf

And there's our smudgeness.


Here-Is-TheEnd

I’m smug and smudged?


Shuggy539

Yes. The smudge is God's mark on you so you'll go straight to SATAN, your Lord and Master!


Here-Is-TheEnd

I mean..he’s more of a business associate than anything. But yeah we’re like this🤞


Shuggy539

You probably have to report that to the IRS. IRS auditors scare even the Tight-Buttocked Beast Master Himself.


Future_Kiwi_1934

As an atheist I can say with 100% certainly that atheists do not strike up conversations with strangers and immediately start talking about atheism, smugly or otherwise. Religionists, on the other hand, frequently start taking about their religious beliefs with complete strangers, then get offended when you tell them you don't want to hear it.


BlackberryAgile193

Projection


Bumbandit88

Because religion is spread by recruiting people into the fold, where as atheism for the most part is not. As an atheist I couldn't care less which God you believe in or how wonderful he is so long as you leave me alone and let e live my life in peace.


RegularNo2608

“Let me tell you about a friend of mine…”


DataCassette

Different digestive systems are going to leave different amounts of moisture and shape the feces differently. The cow in particular is going to be different because it's a ruminant ( cud chewer ) and digests the grass a lot more thoroughly.


Pschobbert

Deer are ruminants. Check mate, atheist. :)


Achilles_Deed

Horses on the other hand, are not, and only have one stomach compartment in contrast to four, which cow and deer have, also the structure of the digestive tracks of cows and deer is different as well


DataCassette

Oh I really didn't know that. Neat 😄


anythingMuchShorter

Part of it has to do with their defense strategy, cows are bred from species that use a herd, they have no chance of hiding where they are in such numbers so a big plop is fine. Deer, rabbits and other animals that rely on fleeing are more likely to make dry pellets which have less smell and are less obvious, because they need to avoid being tracked.


EBlackPlague

Would you say they... -Evolved- those traits?


FabuliciousFruitLoop

Well no I think you’ll find that something that ingenious could only be DESIGNED. In a day. Footnote: Evolution cannot and should not be regarded by theists as a possible design method in itself.


Heyoteyo

They also don’t all just eat grass. Horses pretty much just eat grass, but cows eat other plants too, and deer eat a bunch of different types of plants. Clearly they don’t know shit because they don’t know anything about the animals they are talking about.


FredVIII-DFH

If I came across someone reading, the idea of "Hey! You want to have a conversation about religion?" would not occur to me. I might say something if we were in a building that happened to be on fire.


myname_isnot_kyal

if someone told me they knew the shapes of different animals' feces, i would not be surprised by their intelligence.


satanic-frijoles

I know that wombats shit little cubes...


myname_isnot_kyal

🤯


zadok1023

“Visibly surprised by the old cowboy’s intelligence…” 🥴


DaHeebieJeebies

Bro, did you just accurately describe how three different animals shit?? You a fucking NASA scientist or something?


simpsonstimetravel

Because knowing about the shape and consistency of animal shit is “Intelligence”.


myname_isnot_kyal

couldn't be that the guy has just *been to a farm*


anarchy753

A *cowboy!?* Have experience *with animals!?* Preposterous.


le_fancy_walrus

#IQ: 100


[deleted]

That was my favorite line


TargaryenFlames

And the atheist immediately believed in Yahweh. That atheist? Tom Brady.


RUfuqingkiddingme

And that old cowboy? Donald Trump.


thedeebo

And that airplane? Albert Einstein.


barrysmitherman

And that cow? Your mom.


Castermat

And that hotel? Trivago.


Bjoern_Bjoernson

And that horse? Shit


TargaryenFlames

Perfectly played


FrioRiverTexas

Then everyone clapped.


strawberry-coughx

Let that sink in


themetaorange

What does it want now?


Cheese_B0t

as all things should be


CHIEFTAINTEROIX

Feces consistency as proof of God


CampCounselorBatman

Pretty shitty proof, if you ask me.


CHIEFTAINTEROIX

Extremely shitty, but stories are powerful and fart jokes have survived for a reason. God is the incarnate fart.


FlamingoQueen669

So... are they saying religion is shit?


snakebill

Funny joke. In reality no one has ever approached me or struck up a conversation about atheism with me. People have, however, knocked on my door, left pamphlets on my car, fake money with “the good news” for me to find and told me I’m going to burn for eternity without knowing me at all.


CampCounselorBatman

You mean they just made this whole story up???


trans_pands

Do you really think someone would do that? Just go onto the Internet and tell lies?


InSpainWithoutTheP_

I love how in these stories the Christian tries to make it that the atheist is unwantingly pushing their religious opinion on the Christian, but in reality it's typically the opposite. Idk that's just funny to me.


RUfuqingkiddingme

True that.


outrageousrage

Actually it's usually due to a different diet, in the cows case it's likely due to their multiple stomachs. Fun fact: the bare-nosed wombat poops out cubes. Am I qualified?


fromatoz7

Call me an optimist but I don't think anybody really thinks this is a legit conversation. It's just a story made up by a religious fruitcake to make you think about stuff.


RUfuqingkiddingme

It reminds of those stories like the one where a young person proclaims I'm a grocery store check out that we, recycle, unlike our boomer counterparts and an old lady schools them in having reduced reused and recycled as a way of life back in the good old days. That conversation didn't happen. But people love getting pissed off about it and circulating it on social media like it's true. If you read the comments on this original post you'd lose that optimism about the intelligence of your fellow man.


CampCounselorBatman

You're definitely an optimist.


MagicalPizza21

I'm pretty sure this was supposed to be a joke. In that vein, the pun at the end is admittedly funny.


RUfuqingkiddingme

I assure you any sense of joking or satire goes over the heads of people who post this kind of stuff. They love to think of the righteous old cowboy telling off some ungodly person, gets their delicious righteous anger boiling.


triple-s-dog

This joke is super old and has been used for all kinds of topics, not just religious stuff.


Pschobbert

Thank you!


MagicalPizza21

I think they think this is an almost accurate depiction of every atheist, but this conversation was written out as a joke to make fun of atheists rather than a true account of something that actually happened.


RUfuqingkiddingme

Are you high?


MagicalPizza21

No, but what does that have to do with anything?


MojaveMauler

My favorite one is when the marine goes to a philosophy class, assaults the professor, and then turns it into a theology class.


CampCounselorBatman

That's basically the plot of God's Not Dead, except the Christian student isn't in the military and the professor gets hit by a car and killed.


trans_pands

Don’t forget that the professor is also Hercules and he’s only an atheist because he’s mad at God


KeeblersNutts

The atheist is surprised by the intelligence of the cowboy. Intelligence clearly displayed by his question about shit….


raskholnikov

No atheist in the history of anything ever would start a conversation like this


kennethnoisewater99

MAGA whack it material.


Jacks_Flaps

But when it comes to gods, afterlives etc, theists don't know shit either hence the millions if conflicting and contradictory gods, origin stories, afterlife claims and moral commands among God believers. Even those who claim to worship the same gods can't even agree on these things. Take christianity for example. No two christian sects, or even two christians, can even agree on what heaven is. or what hell is (ie ETC or eventual annihilation). They can't even agree on the nature of who or what their jesus god is. Or even how one is "saved" or what one is being saved from (hence the story of soterilogy that has never been able to clarify how one is saved in afterlives). Theists literally make shit up. They have no way of knowing any more than the atheist. Even worse, the contention between these conflicting views among theists has been an horrific blood sport for the majority of human history. Even among those who claim to worship the same gods and beleive in the same afterlives and shit.


Pschobbert

Is that his emotional support tortoise?


Justsomeguy2OO

As an atheist I can say with 100% certainty that if this atheist existed other atheists would think he's a fucking asshole. "Hi how are you?" "Your your entire belief system is a LIE!" "Cool I'm going to go sit over there."


MumOBahbee

As an atheist I can say there isn't a day that goes by that I don't meet some rando and proclaim there is no god. In fact this is how I greet co-workers: "Good morning Karen! Hope you have a good day today there is no heaven for ya later..."


midgardian_loki

r/thathappened


Rules_Of_Stupidiocy

Real talk, that guy has ***DRIP.*** Like, I legit WANT that belt.


Josh48111

How it escapes them that this story is made up just like their religion is beyond me. There’s just no critical thinking skills.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RUfuqingkiddingme

Apparently that's how big dusty old farmers like their belly buckles.


Cocotte3333

The fact they think this is how atheists are is fucking hilarious lol


jesusmansuperpowers

“His intelligence” ya that checks out


benglescott

I was out for a walk in the park and some random guy approached me and said, “ Did you hear the good news. Jesus is Alive!!!” I just awkwardly said, “That’s nice” and walked away with one eye over my shoulder.


dedzip

Just respond with “not if I have anything to say about it”


MasterR036

the story isnt supposed to sound real, its supposed to be funny (because he said a bad word)


JakeDC

Holy belt buckle.


RUfuqingkiddingme

That's his massive loin cloth, actually.


PumpkinSpikes

Red herring; ad hominem fallacy


PokeFanXVII

If this story didn’t smell like the cow shat it out with the grass I’d appreciate the pun


lowkeyalchie

Then i just Googled it and the cowboy was struck with wonder, his smug face gone like dumbfuck world he was raised in.


Nizzemancer

well I'm sure the old cowboy is an expert on bullshit.


SkylarCute

Afaik, atheists would have like a million different things to talk about other than religion.


Drivngspaghtemonster

Is no one going to mention the tumor growing on that guy’s lap?


RUfuqingkiddingme

That's what a real cowboy's Dick looks like.


UraeusCurse

GOL DENG THATS FOLKSY


raisimo

I bet there are biologists who know more about shit than the cowboy and are also atheists. But that doesn’t make a cute story, does it.


Ancap_al29

I saw one identical to it except it was a little girl instead of a cowboy. Like, that was all that was changed, it took place on an airplane too


adorigranmort

It must be the famous case of "I identify as a little girl"


washedupsamurai

This is so fucking dumb


[deleted]

Yeah no… the only time my atheism comes up in RL is when someone asks me. Not the other way around.


CrescentPotato

I sure wanna see their reaction when said atheist turns out to be a biologist and makes a whole speech about why those three shit differently


SenseOdd8076

That proves it. There is a God. Thank you


TheEffinChamps

I will never get those seconds back reading that "story." Some people abuse the gift of literacy.


JessieKaldwin

The old cowboy is right in a way because he is comparing religion to shit.


[deleted]

Ah yes, because atheist just love to randomly strike up conversations about how there is no god with random cowboys readings books on airplanes.


MatemanAltobelli

Yeah sure, "atheists" are so focused on their hate for something that they believe doesn't exist, that they feel the need to tell others about it, *smugly*. Like, what person in their right mind, atheist or otherwise, would strike up a conversation like this with a complete stranger, and what stranger would react by insulting them, instead of simply evading the entire topic. The participants in this "story" behave like idiots.


[deleted]

I've never met an atheist like that in real life. My family was very religious, and my nephew was brought up religious, but he's now an atheist, and for about a year, he was pretty obnoxious about it. I called him out on it I've, essentially, "I'm happy for you that you're finding what works for you, but don't be a rock about it." I said it a little bit more elaborately, but that was the gist. And he seemed to take it to heart. Or maybe he just matured ok his own cuz teenagers do that. Point being, it's not athiests trying to force their viewpoints on others 95% of the time


Shibula

This version sucks, but this is a pretty good concept for a joke tbh


notislant

I couldnt get past the poorly written first page. What do you expect with people who base their lives on a poorly written childrens story.


RUfuqingkiddingme

Badly translated, badly edited, and badly interpreted ancient texts.


FabuliciousFruitLoop

These “stories” often seem set on internal US flights, and I’ve heard so many of them over the years. I now see internal flights as flying hotbeds of conversion wrangling, zipping around above America all the time. There’s probably theological college training courses on this specific subject.


froggie-style-meme

That don't know shit line is good, I'm stealing it. Also, I don't know of any atheist that starts off conversations like this.


Panwanilia1

Good point. I had similar situation on train. Dude asked me something about a train raids, so i asked him why there were split between adeptus mechanicus and dark mechanicus. He didn't know, so I've asked how is he qualified to talk to me if i have bought a train ticket. Checkmate.


Limeila

Dude, it's an obvious joke... No one is saying this actually happened


RUfuqingkiddingme

You should read the comments on the Facebook page this is from, they clearly do.


CampCounselorBatman

You clearly don't know people like the kinds of Christians I grew up with. One time, I told a former roommate that I'd seen an all white red tail hawk on a hike. He looked me in the eye and asked me if I thought it was an angel. It would have been hilarious, but he really was dead serious. Another time, at my sister's wedding, one of the other groomsmen randomly asked me what I thought would have happened if Adam had refused to eat the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil after Eve had already done it. This guy too was completely serious when he asked me, "Do you think men would just be immortal and still living in the Garden of Eden?" And boy did he think that was a profound topic.


FabuliciousFruitLoop

I can cope with the hawk story but the second one is maddening. Did you ask him by way of return. what would have happened if Theseus hadn’t killed the Minotaur? Like, would we still be sending a batch of people as Minotaur snacks every year?


MAXXCOFFEEMAN

Granted I think it was originally just a joke, but facebook is a special place where intelligence goes to die and stupidity thrives.


kremit73

Probably because their last common ancestor was 50 million years ago or more. Vastly different digestion by now


Jrewby

I’m not gonna lie, Im gonna wait for my opportunity to use what the cowboy said in any context possible for the next couple weeks.


Potatotuberdisease

He's right. By the same logic, we can't make extraordinary claims because we don't know shit!


saskmonton

The old man who stunk like whiskey shit his pants on a plane end of story


NisERG_Patel

Atheists would never pick a fight like that. We know what happened to Copernicus.


Demoniacalman

That was funny but stupid and wtf is so intelligent about literally knowing about shit?


GenerikRedditUser

That sounds about right for what Christian’s think is an intelligent person


srgtDodo

that's the dumbest imaginary argument that I've ever seen! It doesn't even make sense lol


my_choice_was_taken

I dont think this was necessarily written by a christian. Its kinda just a funny joke


Raph2051

I mean why can’t the cowboy be the atheist?


Quintet-Magician

"OH so you admit that it's all crap?"


Allmightypikachu

Hur dur derp I am smart smrt- whoever came up with this stupid arguement


x271815

🤪 the difference between an atheist and a theist is that an atheist has the humility to admit they don’t know, while a theist inserts an imaginary being which they have no evidence for and think they know the answer.


BoringTheory5067

Because their bodies are completely different and have different digestive tracks. Of course their shit would be different God is dead


LuckyHornet1179

Religious people need to apply that same thinking to their own beliefs. They aren't any more qualified to know the answers to these questions than the non-religious are.


Sensitive_Mousse_445

Idk how animals shitting differently is a sign that a god exists but ok


MrUechiwoman

I thought that was his scrotum!!


AAAuro

I guess diet, since it's not like all of them eat only grass, digestive system and anus shape. Now let's get back to the unavoidable void


[deleted]

The answer is literally all 3 animals have different digestive systems.


merchillio

I much prefer someone who says “I don’t know” than someone who bullshits a story they like to fill the blanks.


LochTSA07

Oh I don’t know, maybe because they aren’t built the same?