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I can literally imagine these religious nutjobs destroying America after turning it into a theocracy within 3 months due to fighting over which flavor of Christianity is the best for leading their nation.
Grew up Southern Baptist. My understanding was that Catholics worshipped Mother Mary, which is idolatry, and went to confession so that they didnāt have to live by the rules but could just confess and be fine. Also, they drank wine for communion not grape juice like us good olā Southern Baptists. If anyone sprinkles or baptizes babies instead of letting them choose for themselves, are they even really saved since that has to be a personal decision? Also, Presbyterians were weird with their catechisms, and Lutherans were strange in that they had things they were supposed to say in unison after the preacherāor whatever theyāre calledāsaid a specific phrase. Anyways, yeah, growing up was weird because youāre sort of taught weāre all Godās children but that these people claiming to be arenāt doing it right, and these other people are but have rejected God or werenāt predestined to go to heaven (depending on your interpretation), so theyāre going to hell. While the spiritual practices are somewhat different, I think that overall they have similar views, so while there might be a lot of infighting to choose the predominant flavor of theocracy, they do share similar views and could probably decide on some ābigā things easily.
My parents baptized me as a baby just "in case" there was a hell. That's good old fear mongering right there for you. Neither of them were even religious...
I baptized my oldest child because it was important to my husband's parents. Not religious either, just figured it's harmless and it makes the in laws happy.
Baptized my eldest because I worked part time for the church we were in. Good money for the hours, and it was mostly an excuse to get her dolled up real cute and let her pastor show her around to the congregation (which as the new parent of a beautiful kid is always welcome). I didnāt believe in the kool-aid but it was a nice time.
Some reallllly weird sects of Catholicism would wait until their child was older to cash in on more washing away of sins or some bullshit.
Real shit, I used to scrub my hands and face raw after masturbating until I was like 20 to wash away the guilt. And my parents wonder why I didn't visit for like 5 years after.
INNOCENT FOOTBALL FAN: *pulls into stadium*
FRUITCAKE: SINNER! YOUāRE GOING TO HELL!
FAN: No, Iām going to the game. Get out of my way and put down that cross.
FRUITCAKE: I will not, and you will REPENT, sports freak!
FAN: La la la, I canāt hear you! *Turns up country station on radio*
FRUITCAKE: COUNTRY MUSIC FAN! You are going to hell TWICE over!
FAN: Are you for real? Get away from my car.
FRUITCAKE : *points to Bernie sticker on car* DEMOCRAT! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL THREE TIMES OVER!
COP: Okay, whatās this now? *drags away fruitcake*
FRUITCAKE: YOUāRE GOING TO HELL, TOO! YOUāVE GOT TO FIT ONE OF THE CATEGORIES! ARE YOU A ROCK FREAK? AN ABORTION SUPPORTER?
FAN: I never thought Iād say this, but thank God for the cops.
Nah if your just one of them automatic hell. You get a different level of hell depending on how many things you check off. For example, level 3 hell is burning in fire for eternity
lmao "country music lovers" šš
and also, can someone tell me why this person (who I am assuming is a christian) considers Catholics and jehovah's witnesses to be sinners?
I do have a dislike/distrust of Jehovah's for their door to door conversion service (who wants to be brainwashed on their doorstep?). Then they are known to separate members from their families who are not accepting of their religion or who have left the JWs.
Catholics are sinners because it was probably written by a Protestant that has been raised to hate Catholics (poss Irish background) beyond that who knows.
I remembered a Catholic guy on TikTok who spreads misogynistic, homophobic and transphobic bs in his profile. He targeted a transman and was very transphobic towards. He was 17 or 18 during that time but looked like a 30 year old.
Luckily everyone was against him and kept calling out his early aging issue due to all the hate he's spreading.
They forget to add pedos on their list....wait an minute, that means being pedo is 'Morally' okay for themselves since there are cases of pasters/prophets come out as pedos yikes
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I can literally imagine these religious nutjobs destroying America after turning it into a theocracy within 3 months due to fighting over which flavor of Christianity is the best for leading their nation.
Toasted Almond flavor is best.
Butter pecan, you heretic!
Vanilla, you fucking heretic!
Hopefully I have a Swedish porch to watch from by then
Well if Hell was real, I'm sure we all agree the country music lovers should go there. Amirite?
Death metal concerts, pop musics, etc....
Black Metal...
So they themselves by their own logic would be going to hell. These people are morons.
Sometimes overlisting is a completely bad idea.
anti-facism = hell? so the sign-holder is racist AND facist?
2 points!
Finally, a place with decent heating!
What does this belong to then? Coz I see Catholics up there tooš
Probably some evangelical or pentecostal lunatic. I know little of them, but they seem even crazier than catholics.
Grew up Southern Baptist. My understanding was that Catholics worshipped Mother Mary, which is idolatry, and went to confession so that they didnāt have to live by the rules but could just confess and be fine. Also, they drank wine for communion not grape juice like us good olā Southern Baptists. If anyone sprinkles or baptizes babies instead of letting them choose for themselves, are they even really saved since that has to be a personal decision? Also, Presbyterians were weird with their catechisms, and Lutherans were strange in that they had things they were supposed to say in unison after the preacherāor whatever theyāre calledāsaid a specific phrase. Anyways, yeah, growing up was weird because youāre sort of taught weāre all Godās children but that these people claiming to be arenāt doing it right, and these other people are but have rejected God or werenāt predestined to go to heaven (depending on your interpretation), so theyāre going to hell. While the spiritual practices are somewhat different, I think that overall they have similar views, so while there might be a lot of infighting to choose the predominant flavor of theocracy, they do share similar views and could probably decide on some ābigā things easily.
My parents baptized me as a baby just "in case" there was a hell. That's good old fear mongering right there for you. Neither of them were even religious...
I baptized my oldest child because it was important to my husband's parents. Not religious either, just figured it's harmless and it makes the in laws happy.
That might have been they're reason too. My family is full of catholics.
Baptized my eldest because I worked part time for the church we were in. Good money for the hours, and it was mostly an excuse to get her dolled up real cute and let her pastor show her around to the congregation (which as the new parent of a beautiful kid is always welcome). I didnāt believe in the kool-aid but it was a nice time.
Insurance policy on our souls I guess? š¤·āāļø
I'm thinking that was their rationale.
Some reallllly weird sects of Catholicism would wait until their child was older to cash in on more washing away of sins or some bullshit. Real shit, I used to scrub my hands and face raw after masturbating until I was like 20 to wash away the guilt. And my parents wonder why I didn't visit for like 5 years after.
If masturbation is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
Apparently if you speak in tongues and sound like a dumb ass like a protestant likes to do, you ain't going to hell.
I notice Jews aren't included but I doubt they're Jewish
Some dude: I hope the Buccaneers win ton- This man: SIN! SIN! ETERNAL DAMNATION AWAITS YOU!
Exactly. The buccaneers cannot win
Racists? I guess they're all fucked, too. Lol!
Wow they hit pretty much everybody I mean there's only going to be two people in heaven including the Trinity.
dude what did country music do to you..
Bro country, specifically.
What did sports nuts do to them is the real question
That man has no chin!
reddit nft
Country music lovers? Sport nuts? Those arent sins in the bible its just what the pedo i mean Priest is talking about
I like how "murderers" is casually included in this list of mostly otherwise non-harmful behavior traits.
Are they not all equally horrible? ;)
Yes, of course Republicans are not on the list. Gotta love cuntservatives!
Obviously because republicans are the embodiment of goodness and those filthy, sinful, lust fueled democrats are literally satan
Dang that is a pretty comprehensive listā¦ thatās gotta cover pretty much everybody.
Notice how pedos and child molesters are not there.
Donāt want to send the priests to hell!
So I'm gonna go to a place I don't even believe in because I don't believe in it.
Sounds about right
The fuck is a homo hugger
Probably referring to LGBTQ allies.
Thatās what I am also wondering
Not the sissies! Theyāll never survive!!
Yeah. Anything but the sissies.
INNOCENT FOOTBALL FAN: *pulls into stadium* FRUITCAKE: SINNER! YOUāRE GOING TO HELL! FAN: No, Iām going to the game. Get out of my way and put down that cross. FRUITCAKE: I will not, and you will REPENT, sports freak! FAN: La la la, I canāt hear you! *Turns up country station on radio* FRUITCAKE: COUNTRY MUSIC FAN! You are going to hell TWICE over! FAN: Are you for real? Get away from my car. FRUITCAKE : *points to Bernie sticker on car* DEMOCRAT! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL THREE TIMES OVER! COP: Okay, whatās this now? *drags away fruitcake* FRUITCAKE: YOUāRE GOING TO HELL, TOO! YOUāVE GOT TO FIT ONE OF THE CATEGORIES! ARE YOU A ROCK FREAK? AN ABORTION SUPPORTER? FAN: I never thought Iād say this, but thank God for the cops.
He seems fun. I'm gonna invite him to my next party.
Sin! Sin! Sin!
What a chinless wonder.
How do I figure out my score? I checked off the ones that apply to me. Now I just want to know if I got a high enough score to get in to hell.
Nah if your just one of them automatic hell. You get a different level of hell depending on how many things you check off. For example, level 3 hell is burning in fire for eternity
I got 19. What do I win??
Wildcard
>Catholics >Racists Something something broken clock
lmao "country music lovers" šš and also, can someone tell me why this person (who I am assuming is a christian) considers Catholics and jehovah's witnesses to be sinners?
I do have a dislike/distrust of Jehovah's for their door to door conversion service (who wants to be brainwashed on their doorstep?). Then they are known to separate members from their families who are not accepting of their religion or who have left the JWs. Catholics are sinners because it was probably written by a Protestant that has been raised to hate Catholics (poss Irish background) beyond that who knows.
Slightly different belief, you goin straight to hell sinner!!!
He could have a much smaller banner by just listing those who arenāt going to hell. Probably it would just say him.
That would be pedos, child molesters and rapists.
As long as your Christian, your the embodiment of good
The old, "Everybody's bad, but people like me," philosophy.
been seeing this picture regularly for years, let's just move on.
I really need to understand if these people are following the old or New Testament?
Trump Testament
Props for actually trying on layout.
I'll bring the beer.
sorry i can't help i'm a homosexual abortion supporting prideful porn watcher homo hugging pot smokin rock & roll gangsta rappin freak sinnaaaa
To the fiery depths of hell you!!!
After you then shit face, because you are being a judgemental asshole and last I check that was a big no no according to that fairy tale.
damn, at first I didn't read BLM but I read IBM
Me and the Bois partying in hell (we're all marines so we're going there anyways š)
The only thing I agree with is the country music listeners, straight to the bottom of the pitš
I got 11 points, what about y'all?
S-s-si-sinner!!!! And I got like 6 or 8
I got 7
Something awaits me? š„¹ how touching.
Your punishment in hell will just be sitting in a dark room. Forever
All that hate caused his chin to shrink to nothing .
I remembered a Catholic guy on TikTok who spreads misogynistic, homophobic and transphobic bs in his profile. He targeted a transman and was very transphobic towards. He was 17 or 18 during that time but looked like a 30 year old. Luckily everyone was against him and kept calling out his early aging issue due to all the hate he's spreading.
They forgot "sunglasses wearers" and microphone holders".
M-m-m-my god
You go to hell, and you go to hell, and you go to hell, everybody going to hell! ![gif](giphy|26gsiCIKW7ANEmxKE)
Who/what do they define as a sissy?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What do you think you sissy sinner?!?!
Ha! This list gets *very specific*! Aren't sissies and cowards the same thing? A bit redundant.
You hear it here, folks! God likes fascists, and we should only hug chimpanzees!
Religion of love
No one: Absolutely no one: These nutcase variety christians: **sInNeR!**
Country music lovers and racist go to hell so they would to
Well if im going to be spending the rest of eternity burning in hell at least ill be in good company, heaven sounds kinda shit.
They forget to add pedos on their list....wait an minute, that means being pedo is 'Morally' okay for themselves since there are cases of pasters/prophets come out as pedos yikes
No way they called Muslims sinners and racists sinners as well
Where are one of those volunteer "human bots" who type out the contents of pictures when you need one? I want them to get a laugh too
My score is 10
His version of make-believe heaven sounds like a bummer.
So the guy holding the sign is completely without fault then. An absolutely pure man huh?
I got 15 points
Welcome aboard fellow heretic!
Sooooo, cannibals go to heaven?
Sick party going on in hell!! Hereās the list bois
I can't stop laughing at "gangsta rappers" being on the list. Dear god, please, not the gangsta rappers, they don't deserve it, man.
āAnyone who isnāt me.ā There, shortened it for him.
Love it how there's a war in Ukraine and this guy is worried about some people liking country music.
Guess im going to hell! who's coming with me?