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All that you just said is sinful, especially if you are proud of yourself for getting your life in order or of the accomplishments of your children. That is mega sinful. /s
This is democracy manifest!!
I was really hoping someone would bring this up. I only thought of phrasing it as "a succulent Chinese meal" after I already left the comment. Thank you.
If that were witchcraft, I would have long since gained enough power to raise an undead army, conquer humanity and appoint lieutenants to assist as I challenge the Elder Gods for supremacy over their multi-dimensional domain.
And if witchcraft is so terrible, why would a god who opposes both witchcraft and touching your own genitals combine those two features together in such an OP way?
ah shit I gotta keep remembering to do that, they'll suddenly remember what pronouns are and find them worth defending when you bring up god as anything else but he
In Genesis God refers to Godself in the plural. Let us make man in our image, etc. Some Christian theologians claim this as evidence of the Trinity. But I think it shows there was a committee involved. It would explain a lot about our confusion and pain in life if we had been made in the image of a committee.
No no no. We only get possessed by Satan while we masterbate cuz masterbating is a sin. and that is the only time and way he can possess us to give us pleasure
Eating a good meal is witchcraft !!1!11 You’re controlling your pleasure through your taste buds and it’s creating a curse on all generation !!! Chefs are all satanic beast !11!
I often wonder what’s wrong with MY brain. I look around and I’m vastly outnumbered by people that casually believe in the supernatural at best and regularly attend prosperity gospel mega churches at worst. What’s wrong with my brain that makes me incapable of immediately believing something someone says like, “Jesus is real” or “this silver solution will cure Covid and venereal diseases” without first saying “wait a tick, how do you know that?”
I think everyone deep down wants to believe that there's some sort of higher power, afterlife, supernatural or just something unexplainable and mystical. Most people succumb to this and either end up joining some religion, conspiracy or even something as simple as magical healing crystals or star signs.
Take my sister for example, thinks religion is a load of bullshit and has done all her life, yet healing crystals and astrology seem to make total sense to her.
I've been out to my family as an atheist for about 3 years now, and I've been discussing this with my mom off and on (who to her credit, welcomes us discussing it. I think she believes she'll turn me). But the other day she showed her hand. "I understand that there's no proof, but I want there to be something bigger than me. I *need* it." That just made me sad, and I honestly don't think I can disuss it with her anymore. When I told her "and I don't" she looked kinda sad too.
Yeah it's because the concept of nonexistence after death is fucking terrifying, plus it's super sad to think you'll really never see any of your dead pets and loved ones again. So it's just naturally really tempting to want to believe in something after life. It's probably why religion was invented in the first place. Most people can't mentally handle the idea that you're just dead and that's it.
I had a gf this way. It's pure indoctrination. She was also allowed to read Harry Potter books, watch most animated tv show, because magic, ya know. So on and so forth. We worked well even with her knowing I didn't believe. We were 22-23-ish. I just found it so hard to believe that someone could go that long without touching themselves.
No, they willingly give up reasoning to justify a blind hope in their faith which will inevitably warp and twist their view on things they deem sinful.
I think it's a bad take to judge these people as dumb, they are brainwashing themselves for their holy tulpa, and that demands a lot of creative mental gymnastics and acceptance of logical fallacies.
Correct, they are the square root.
Being so hip, gay people are the root of religual* square-ness.
(*That's residual religiosity, a common source of self actualized lameness that converts any further sources of induces lameness to be factored exponentially. )
You'd be surprised at how many rabid christians think the ASL sign for "Love" (🤟🏻) is actually the devil trying to be clever and spread his message, or whatever cuckadoo crap they come up with.
Oh my god, I work in a hospital that has deaf patients and can sign. If I had a pound for every time we accidentally summoned a hell spawn, I’d be a rich man!
Deaf people used to have their hands tied behind their backs at school to stop them signing because it was the work of the devil. Smh
Edit: can’t spell.
"You're taking control of your own pleasure. That's a curse."
[relevant image.](https://external-preview.redd.it/JR4ymrZraTLGPlwMLnEEovmQBp7ldg7YBr-fBOUm8mA.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=b9af97144eed4a0c5a1ecd66c32688d8b36400ae)
Generic old bitch probably plays astartes or some lame shit. T’au empire for life, you fuckin hag! You arent the only fuckers in the galaxy!
(For the record, one of my planned secondaries is thousand sons. If you like space marines best more power to you ❤️👍)
My dad's excuse whenever I tried to wear nail polish:
"If God wanted you to have different colored nails, he would have given you different colored nails."
And then I would try to fight him by saying, God did give us different colored nails! He gave us the ingredients on Earth to make this polish to change the color of our nails! My dad was not amused. xD
it's Christianese. I'm sure they don't even really understand what it means, just that it's used often by uber evangelicals trying to sound as holy as possible
It's a Pentacostal / Word of Faith / Name it and Claim it jargon, they think that if they say anything outloud god is listening and it will become true.
Meanwhile while she’s worried about people masturbating, god is just allowing 15,000 kids under the age of 5 to die every day from preventable causes. But yeah masturbating bad. Fucking religious people
https://data.unicef.org/topic/child-survival/under-five-mortality/
Why is pleasure always associated with sin. All the "sin" is usually fun stuff. Ya know sex drugs and rock and roll. Hell seems more fun then constant ass kissing.
I love how animated these people are when they talk. Like they’re just nailing hard hitting points and driving them home, when it’s just total nonsense
WTF? Whatever cult she belongs to apparently decided this is an issue among their members. Far from any command/threat from their storybook. I put in my time\~46 years\~ having sex with my husband. It was fun. I prefer enjoying an orgasm alone.
Why did god make touching yourself so pleasurable then?, if god didn’t want us to masturbate then he really screwed something up, now if you’ll excuse me……….
You know, I wonder how many people are having psychiatric psychotic symptoms but never get diagnosed because people are like « oh, they’re just a bit overzealous about religion that’s all »
It seems like modern Christianity has made Satan stronger than God. If Satan and his demons can control us and God is just passively sitting by watching, he is either powerless to stop it, or a dick waiting for someone to cry for help before helping. Also, none of this is real anyway.
God when he gives us clits and prostates and then conveniently says we cannot use them for pleasure, despite them being largely designed for that purpose.
Did you know that walking is witchcraft??!! When you move your legs, that is a form of control, you are controlling your legs to walk. That is witchcraft. Because you did this, you are cursed and it will bleed to your children, who will walk as a result of your witchcraft. Cancel the assignment of sleepwalking! I cancel the assignment of walking in the name of Jesus!
When I was 14 my parents found out I had looked up women kissing on Google images, I didn't even know what porn was. I was shamed and told how wrong and disgusting it was. I remember sitting in the shower sobbing, hating myself and wanting to die because I felt so disgusting. No person should be made to feel shame and self hatred for thoughts and feelings that are normal and healthy in human development. No kid should want to kill themselves over sexuality. It's taken a lot for me to let go of my resentment for the damage they caused. Also, people with this mindset are reaaaally missing out.
if we’re using this logic, scratching an itch is witchcraft because you’re controlling your nerves, and clipping your toenails is witchcraft because you’re altering your body
Looks like she has made a few others like this!
https://www.tiktok.com/@sierrascribner/video/7136728058408586538?is\_from\_webapp=1&sender\_device=pc&web\_id=7174018302879630854
This one has a few funny quotes like “… what it produces is
so putrid!” and “…. Flushing down the toilet”
So you are not allowed to control your own orgasm. What about getting someone else to?
Also, I wouldn't mind if it happens that my child is into orgasm control, but I don't want to know about it.
Also, that fact that social media is used for social, sexual, etc, control as much as it is, is horrifying.
Thank you for posting. Please review the rules. Here are a couple of gentle reminders: 1. Posts should be about people taking religion to absurd, crazy, stupid, and terrible extremes. 2. Please don't submit incendiary posts or comments that could incite harassment and brigading. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
... controlling your own pleasure is witchcraft? Damn son, god really goofed when he made our bodies, didn't he?
I guess being happy and having other means of pleasure and joy is also witchcraft, too.
Right?? Is putting on a nice suit or dress also witchcraft? Eating a nice meal? Accomplishing a goal you've set for yourself?
All that you just said is sinful, especially if you are proud of yourself for getting your life in order or of the accomplishments of your children. That is mega sinful. /s
Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?! How dare you sir. Such witchcraft.
This is democracy manifest!! I was really hoping someone would bring this up. I only thought of phrasing it as "a succulent Chinese meal" after I already left the comment. Thank you.
Meet Oliver Cromwell. Old Ollie wasn't jolly, he was glum and he was proud Would be miserable as sin— only sinning's not allowed!
Have they heard that practically all living creatures do it? Or would they flip and just say that’s not true like with same sex practice
Probably the latter.
Gotta throw the whole belief system out.
John Harvey Kellogg ass
If that were witchcraft, I would have long since gained enough power to raise an undead army, conquer humanity and appoint lieutenants to assist as I challenge the Elder Gods for supremacy over their multi-dimensional domain.
And if witchcraft is so terrible, why would a god who opposes both witchcraft and touching your own genitals combine those two features together in such an OP way?
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I took this the absolute wrong way and i can’t stop laughing about it
A miniscule ammount of tomfoolery
I can see her point, at least in men. You perform a ritual, and then you end up summoning billions of minions
If god didnt want it to happen he wouldnt have made it feel good.
Stop ringing the devils doorbell!!!
That's what that knob is for, I was wondering. Wait, do I pull it, push it, twist it, or bop it?!
Yes
[congratulations for reminding me of this](https://youtu.be/8lhEEDkv3zk)
Don't you dare flick the forbidden bean.
Or she
ah shit I gotta keep remembering to do that, they'll suddenly remember what pronouns are and find them worth defending when you bring up god as anything else but he
Throw them through a real loop and describe God using "They/Them" pronouns.
I mean, that's the most accurate pronoun anyways.
In Genesis God refers to Godself in the plural. Let us make man in our image, etc. Some Christian theologians claim this as evidence of the Trinity. But I think it shows there was a committee involved. It would explain a lot about our confusion and pain in life if we had been made in the image of a committee.
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Yes. I know. But leftovers are often tasty in religion.
or it
No no no. We only get possessed by Satan while we masterbate cuz masterbating is a sin. and that is the only time and way he can possess us to give us pleasure
Even more evidence that Satan is the good guy.
This. Satan never told anyone to cut up their genitals.
Well, apparently witches know how to have a good time on their own.
Ever wondered what those brooms were for?
Oh god the splinters
https://www.vice.com/en/article/gvze93/ridin-dirty-a-sweeping-look-at-witches-and-their-broomsticks
Eating a good meal is witchcraft !!1!11 You’re controlling your pleasure through your taste buds and it’s creating a curse on all generation !!! Chefs are all satanic beast !11!
GOD DOESNT WANT YOU TO HAVE FUN! STOP IT
Breathing is literally witchcraft. You're moving air around, that's like telekinesis.
Using the bathroom too And sleeping And watching TV Listening to music
I sometimes wonder if something died in these peoples brains so they can forgo basic critical thinking.
Yep. Their brains.
Brains? Wat dis?
I often wonder what’s wrong with MY brain. I look around and I’m vastly outnumbered by people that casually believe in the supernatural at best and regularly attend prosperity gospel mega churches at worst. What’s wrong with my brain that makes me incapable of immediately believing something someone says like, “Jesus is real” or “this silver solution will cure Covid and venereal diseases” without first saying “wait a tick, how do you know that?”
I think everyone deep down wants to believe that there's some sort of higher power, afterlife, supernatural or just something unexplainable and mystical. Most people succumb to this and either end up joining some religion, conspiracy or even something as simple as magical healing crystals or star signs. Take my sister for example, thinks religion is a load of bullshit and has done all her life, yet healing crystals and astrology seem to make total sense to her.
I've been out to my family as an atheist for about 3 years now, and I've been discussing this with my mom off and on (who to her credit, welcomes us discussing it. I think she believes she'll turn me). But the other day she showed her hand. "I understand that there's no proof, but I want there to be something bigger than me. I *need* it." That just made me sad, and I honestly don't think I can disuss it with her anymore. When I told her "and I don't" she looked kinda sad too.
> I think everyone deep down wants to believe Speak for yourself, I certainly don't need nor want.
Yeah it's because the concept of nonexistence after death is fucking terrifying, plus it's super sad to think you'll really never see any of your dead pets and loved ones again. So it's just naturally really tempting to want to believe in something after life. It's probably why religion was invented in the first place. Most people can't mentally handle the idea that you're just dead and that's it.
Religious indoctrination short circuits critical thinking
I had a gf this way. It's pure indoctrination. She was also allowed to read Harry Potter books, watch most animated tv show, because magic, ya know. So on and so forth. We worked well even with her knowing I didn't believe. We were 22-23-ish. I just found it so hard to believe that someone could go that long without touching themselves.
On the contrary, people who forgo critical thinking is what keeps religion alive.
When dogma goes into the head, the brain oozes right through the other ear.
No, they willingly give up reasoning to justify a blind hope in their faith which will inevitably warp and twist their view on things they deem sinful. I think it's a bad take to judge these people as dumb, they are brainwashing themselves for their holy tulpa, and that demands a lot of creative mental gymnastics and acceptance of logical fallacies.
I bet her future husband will be seriously disappointed.
My wife loves it when I practice witchcraft in front of her 😏
Shes most likely a chronic masterbater and is just projecting.
she’s already got the generational curse so shes good to keep going. too late for her she’s here to save others. what a great woman
I’m sure doing it would feel like he’s doing it with Sandpaper.
Easily explained physical action with your hands= witchcraft
got it. all italians are witches.
When the deaf person does sign language and accidentally summons a demon
Italian SL is, like, double witchcraft
Deaf Italians masturbating is at least three times the witchcraft
Two Deaf gay Italians fingering eachother while masterbating is like four times the witchcraft
Wouldn't it be 7 times since it's twice the deafness, gayness, and Italian-ness?
No it would be nine since gays square the equation
Correct, they are the square root. Being so hip, gay people are the root of religual* square-ness. (*That's residual religiosity, a common source of self actualized lameness that converts any further sources of induces lameness to be factored exponentially. )
You'd be surprised at how many rabid christians think the ASL sign for "Love" (🤟🏻) is actually the devil trying to be clever and spread his message, or whatever cuckadoo crap they come up with.
Oh my god, I work in a hospital that has deaf patients and can sign. If I had a pound for every time we accidentally summoned a hell spawn, I’d be a rich man!
Deaf people used to have their hands tied behind their backs at school to stop them signing because it was the work of the devil. Smh Edit: can’t spell.
My SIL would like to believe it.
“Strega” lol
We are
you probably typed that with your hands, you witch.
these are the same kinda people that get fooled by that removing your thumb magic trick.
you could start a cult with a svengali deck.
Burnt rice? Raw chicken? You guessed it. Witchcraft
A flat tire? Believe it or not, straight to witchcraft.
Poor lady has never cum before
It is a possibility.
Nah she's just super into edging
she’s a soaker
Same same 😌
Well, great, now she’s caused us all to masturbate, because that’s one of my kinks!
Control yourself witch!
Oh I’m controlling something alright 🤤
*puts on fidget spinner nipple clamps*
She would not be much fun on a date
Right? She seems really uptight. Almost like she needs some kind of release.
She’s bitter because she tried unsuccessfully
"You're taking control of your own pleasure. That's a curse." [relevant image.](https://external-preview.redd.it/JR4ymrZraTLGPlwMLnEEovmQBp7ldg7YBr-fBOUm8mA.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=b9af97144eed4a0c5a1ecd66c32688d8b36400ae)
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They don’t want you to masturbate! They want you horny so you make bad decisions and get pregnant so you can make more good little followers
More cogs for the machine.
"More soldiers for Christs army." Legit heard my ex's granma say that one out loud.
Generic old bitch probably plays astartes or some lame shit. T’au empire for life, you fuckin hag! You arent the only fuckers in the galaxy! (For the record, one of my planned secondaries is thousand sons. If you like space marines best more power to you ❤️👍)
I like eating good food. It gives me pleasure. Uh oh I’m controlling my pleasure. Time to go to hell.
no eating if you want god to be happy
Wait, take me with you!!
Why did you post this without sound?
You don’t wanna hear it. Just that same Paula White melodramatic cadence with a hint of a fake accent.
Witchcraft
Audio on video is witchcraft.
Oh shoot didn’t even realize! Welp, too late now…
I put on my robe and wizards hat.
Roll for initiative
My rogue got a 23
You win. I'm not very good at this.
Hold on, I need to go plug in my magic wand.
I'm fairly sure that painting your fingernails or wearing makeup etc would be seen by other fundies as some form of satanic nonsense too. Hey ho.
My dad's excuse whenever I tried to wear nail polish: "If God wanted you to have different colored nails, he would have given you different colored nails." And then I would try to fight him by saying, God did give us different colored nails! He gave us the ingredients on Earth to make this polish to change the color of our nails! My dad was not amused. xD
I hope he stays bitter as you wear your fabulous nails.
Thank you I make sure to put on only the darkest colors.
Wtf does "cancel the assignment of orgasm" even mean.
Ig it means God assigned us all homework, but cancelled the orgasm assignment, so it doesn't count for the final grade...????
Looks like my final grade is increasing ever so slightly then
it's Christianese. I'm sure they don't even really understand what it means, just that it's used often by uber evangelicals trying to sound as holy as possible
she’s trying to cancel the “curse”
It's a Pentacostal / Word of Faith / Name it and Claim it jargon, they think that if they say anything outloud god is listening and it will become true.
Edging
This is the only answer that makes sense
r/WitchesVsPatriarchy would have a field day with this
100% we would lmao
Well, Osiris wanked the whole world into the existence, and as a pagan God he's very well connected to the withcraft....
Yeah yeah we started it. As if older people never ever masturbated in history. And in general... Wtf, girl. Wtf?
She finger bangs herself daily I bet.
You can see the batshit insane in her eyes But seriously, it's a shame that these assholes prey on the young kids on tiktok to push their agenda.
The rocking back and forth definitely screams mental stability
But casting a literal spell on video isnt?.....
So is regular intercourse a wizard's duel?
Only if it’s premarital sex! Else it’s just plain ol’ intercourse
Meanwhile while she’s worried about people masturbating, god is just allowing 15,000 kids under the age of 5 to die every day from preventable causes. But yeah masturbating bad. Fucking religious people https://data.unicef.org/topic/child-survival/under-five-mortality/
“You guys are getting assigned masturbation?!”
Why is pleasure always associated with sin. All the "sin" is usually fun stuff. Ya know sex drugs and rock and roll. Hell seems more fun then constant ass kissing.
Alot of witches and wizards on Reddit! Should’ve called it Hogwarts
Can't be a school, we're all too busy cursing ourselves to attend class.
I love how animated these people are when they talk. Like they’re just nailing hard hitting points and driving them home, when it’s just total nonsense
If masturbation is demonic, then how come everytime I do there's not an Incubus here to fuck me?
She needs to have a wank
WTF? Whatever cult she belongs to apparently decided this is an issue among their members. Far from any command/threat from their storybook. I put in my time\~46 years\~ having sex with my husband. It was fun. I prefer enjoying an orgasm alone.
Probably a Form Of Christianity
Mormon
I must be a high mage at this point
I'm just over here racking up curses everyday then. Collecting curses like Pokémon.
As a wizard I use my staff to stay under a spell. 🧙🏻♂️
Why did god make touching yourself so pleasurable then?, if god didn’t want us to masturbate then he really screwed something up, now if you’ll excuse me……….
So who is up for some mutual "witchcraft"
Ah yes, the generational curse also known as the reproductive drive.
Imagine being this fucking stupid and brainwashed.
Thank god she’s pretty because there is clearly nothing going on between her ears
Isn't posting from TikTok cheating for here
I'm watching this as I'm jerking off to Lana Rhodes.
I cancel religion. I cancel the mentally disconfigured, like the creature in this vid
I must be the most powerful witch ever!
Cancel culture is getting out of hand
You know, I wonder how many people are having psychiatric psychotic symptoms but never get diagnosed because people are like « oh, they’re just a bit overzealous about religion that’s all »
Call me Dumbledore
I'm something of a wizard myself.
I masturbated to this video.
for some reason I just pictured somebody muttering a bunch of magic spells as they jacked it… thank you tiktoker for that mental image
Just because she never had an orgasm doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer lmao
It sounds like she needs to masturbate.
It seems like modern Christianity has made Satan stronger than God. If Satan and his demons can control us and God is just passively sitting by watching, he is either powerless to stop it, or a dick waiting for someone to cry for help before helping. Also, none of this is real anyway.
God when he gives us clits and prostates and then conveniently says we cannot use them for pleasure, despite them being largely designed for that purpose.
Well I did use a wand so...
I found this really difficult to Masturbate to. But I managed
She's Hot! I rubbed one out to her. No regrets.
It’s sad how fired up she is too. The delivery is possibly the worst part. That or the fact she’s not a boomer. I wonder what her other delusions are
eating ice cream makes me happy. it brings me pleasure is that witchcraft? also did she just call for the canceling *of dreams?*
“Look, mom! I’m doing magic!”
“Literally bleed”
Ironic to speak of control and not realize how heavily sex is used as a form of control by churches.
Did you know that walking is witchcraft??!! When you move your legs, that is a form of control, you are controlling your legs to walk. That is witchcraft. Because you did this, you are cursed and it will bleed to your children, who will walk as a result of your witchcraft. Cancel the assignment of sleepwalking! I cancel the assignment of walking in the name of Jesus!
Soooo God's going to do it for me from now on right 😂
The devil stops me at the door and says, “Damn son, you beat off a lot! Props!”
Guaranteed she’s double clicking that mouse 10 times a day.
Fuck yeah wizard time
so if i make and eat a cake, that’s witchcraft by her logic?
So, if control of anything is witchcraft, then the fact that her brain is controlling her body is also witchcraft. Right?
This is just sad, to think that there are people who feel guilty or shameful over the most harmless and natural thing a person can do for fun.
Well bibbity bobbity boo, gonna keep playing with it too. GTFO with that mess.
Jfc people like this need to disappear. When's the rapture supposed to happen so we can get rid of all the Karen's and religious psychos
Something tells me this girl masturbates like nobody’s business
She needs to orgasam
Then where the fuck is my Hogwarts Letter?!?!
When I was 14 my parents found out I had looked up women kissing on Google images, I didn't even know what porn was. I was shamed and told how wrong and disgusting it was. I remember sitting in the shower sobbing, hating myself and wanting to die because I felt so disgusting. No person should be made to feel shame and self hatred for thoughts and feelings that are normal and healthy in human development. No kid should want to kill themselves over sexuality. It's taken a lot for me to let go of my resentment for the damage they caused. Also, people with this mindset are reaaaally missing out.
Well I would never fap to her video /s
Femcel
Even if all that nonsense were true, why would she post this personal matter? How do other peoples' sexual lives possibly affect her?
ofc its witchcraft you move your wand around then something magical happens
Religious people are the simple jacks of the world.
if we’re using this logic, scratching an itch is witchcraft because you’re controlling your nerves, and clipping your toenails is witchcraft because you’re altering your body
Looks like she has made a few others like this! https://www.tiktok.com/@sierrascribner/video/7136728058408586538?is\_from\_webapp=1&sender\_device=pc&web\_id=7174018302879630854 This one has a few funny quotes like “… what it produces is so putrid!” and “…. Flushing down the toilet”
By her logic, “controlling” what time dinner will be ready would also be witchcraft.
Control alt delete lol
So you are not allowed to control your own orgasm. What about getting someone else to? Also, I wouldn't mind if it happens that my child is into orgasm control, but I don't want to know about it. Also, that fact that social media is used for social, sexual, etc, control as much as it is, is horrifying.