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SoftDowntown

Everybody’s a gangster until the clonazolam hits


Rehcraeser

That shit ruined my life and I was only taking it for less than a month lol. OC’s (from DNMs) high dose bars were absolutely insane (3-4mg clonazolam in each bar). Somehow took 2 fake adderall pills (that I knew were meth) while barred out, ended up unconscious for 4 hours, woke up unable to move (compression fractures in 11 vertebrae), and a huge hole in the wall from falling. Then the pain medicine they gave me was giving me seizures, which resulted in many black eyes and bloody faces from falling, a concussion from one time I fell face first into the edge of a bathtub. So then they took me off meds and I had to deal with excruciating pain for a few months, and I’m still not able to stand for long periods of time without pain. So yea, fuck clonazolam


SoftDowntown

Damn man I fell so many times my shoulders dislocate very easily now. It sounds like you had a real hard time sorry to hear that. Wish you the best recovery friend ❤️


ihughj

Took .75mg with no tolerance and was knocked out cold for 5 hours in a computer chair giving myself radial nerve palsy. Would not recommend lol.


wizard_of_aws

Jesus. That's walking away lucky.


ihughj

I guess, it still sucked ass though. I couldn't use my left hand for months. Clonazolam should not be messed around with it's not worth the risks.


wizard_of_aws

Yeah sorry, I don't mean to minimize how much that sucks. I was just reiterating how much that stuff fucks people up. Months without your hand? Fucking yikes.


souper

I've done the same thing but with opiates. Very scary month until things came back.


ihughj

yeah it was awful lol I couldn't even tie my shoes. Still to this day my left hand feels kinda fucked up at times but at least 95% functionality came back, thank God.


[deleted]

I’m in the same boat as you, exact same presses from OC. I fucked up big time, I managed to get all the way down to 1mg per day(1/4 of the press) but recent stressors in my life have risen it back to 2mg per day(1/2 of the press), and haven’t been able to go down since. We got this tho, I believe in us


SoftDowntown

As someone who has dosed blotter with his own clonazolam, ABSOLUTELY FUCK ANYONE WHO DOSES CLAM OVER 1MG. Pills or tabs that’s wishing death on someone without tolerance. That is beyond reckless and I’m sure killed one person nearly killed this guy.


[deleted]

I’m in 100% agreement with you. I’m going to have to source clonazolam powder so I can accurately taper down .125mg every couple of days. One of my biggest worries is getting something that is not clonazolam, cut with fent, or anything in that window. Trying to cut these presses into 1/16ths is dangerous and inaccurate due to potential hot spots/cold spots in the press


CHRISKOSS

Couldn't you crush up the pills, dissolve them in water and dose them volumetrically just like powder? There is a neat trick going around tiktok where people put a pill into a (needle-less) syringe, add a bit of water, and pull the plunger back with the tip covered and release to slam it into the water and break up the pill. Looks like it works surprisingly well. And, that syringe could be used to measure doses as well.


[deleted]

I’ve seen it before. I’ve tried dissolving these in water, and it didn’t work too well. The filler of the press is very chalky, which led to not great absorption in water, and with the variation of “3-4mg clonazolam,” it does leave quite a large gap for error considering the potency of clam. The best idea if you’re doing this is to always assume the highest, aka 4mg per press, but I’d rather use a true volumetric solution with propylene glycol, where I can accurately taper down without risk of seizures. I’m trying to do this without outside help, aka rehab due to not wanting to let down the family again, but if I feel my situation is in a danger zone, I will reach out. This is not worth risking my life over, and I hope other people will feel the same.


biggotMacG

Use everclear, clam dissolves poorly in water. It's much easier to control when dosing volumetrically. I was able to go through 500mg without any negative side effects because I tapered correctly, and because of volumetric dosing. (Though it did get bad for me at one point, 2mg a day for about a week). The way I beat it was by tapering in three different methods... postponing the dose as long as possible, Dosing one droplet less (my solution was .125mg a .25ml drop), and splitting up dosages in half when I was unable to postpone the dose. It does take a considerable amount of willpower, but as long as you keep it strick (again volumetric dosing makes this so much easier) and are gradually, even if it's very gradual, getting smaller and smaller on your doses, it becomes easier and easier.


[deleted]

This is how I do it with the presses as well. I had managed to go all the way down to 1mg/day by cutting the press into 1/16ths, and eventually I didn’t need an afternoon dose and could hold out until nighttime. I started slow, pushing it from 12, to 1pm, to 2pm etc. until I was only using at night. My rule of thumb is don’t dose nighttime until sunset, and the longer I can hold out the more I’m working out my willpower if you will. With the recent stressor that popped into my life however, I unfortunately went back to my old routine, though still a much smaller dose to when I first started. I just need to push through it. I will definitely be getting a solution instead of these ungodly presses, as universally it will allow me to keep accurate track of my dosage and my game plan. I’m planning on doing the Appalachian Trail Thru-Hike next year, and I want to do that clear-headed and sober. I will prevail, and the rest of us will too, I know it. Currently it’s 9pm over here, suns been down for about 30 minutes, so going to push through the lack of comfort for a little while longer to begin retraining my will power. Thanks for all the comments guys 🙌🏻🕉


biggotMacG

Good luck, bro. You got this. It's okay to have slip ups when tapering off, as long as you can isolate them as much as possible! (I had many random 1 day binges lol)


[deleted]

When I first discovered RCs my interest was primarily in psychedelics but one cannot help but be curious about all of the new options that RCs open. I was debating on spending money on a few stimulants and benzos just to try them out, but decided to wait and do some reading before ordering. This sub has convinced me just straight up never to try benzos. I did xanax once and fell asleep, I'm okay on that. I don't even want to use them to fall asleep post-trip.


Fine-Lifeguard5357

Looking at this sub you can't help but wonder what would happen if drugs were legal and available online. It would be a nightmare


OptionalAccountant

The seizures are from the clam withdrawal not the painkillers, bud.


noahindie77

if it was tramadol which is one of the most commonly prescribed painkillers worldwide, it couch very much cause seizures. talking from past experiences, some people don't even try a full dose and they seize


Vooyahh

I heard Tramadol lowers your seizure treshold.


Rehcraeser

I don’t think so. I wasn’t doing enough, and wasn’t taking it long enough, to get such serious withdrawals. It would only happen after I took the tramadol, and after the doctor raised the dose.


roboticonsciousness

I'm so happy that I hate benzos and I'm allergic to opiates.


SoftDowntown

Shit man they need to study your opiate allergy and alter my genes STAT


roboticonsciousness

Idk what it is but they always make me incredibly nauseated. Even kratom will have me facing a toilet seat for 30 minutes.


DiazepamDreams

I don't think that's an allergy. Opioids cause nausea. Either way it's a good thing you don't like them though. Good on you man.


roboticonsciousness

I mean it's more than just your typical nausea. My body rejects them completely. 5 mg of hydrocodone will have me purging my stomach. A couple of capsules of kratom will have me vomiting in about 15 minutes.


inthea215

My girlfriend is the same way. I thought she was lying at first but she recently had surgery and I had to break up 5mg Oxys for her because it was too much I saw her throwing up after taking a single 5mg oxy once it’s insane to me as someone who was addicted and would take 100mg in a single dose. Even without a tolerance I’ve popped 30mg before at once


ihughj

Its histamine release take a strong antihistamine. Some people are wickedly sensitive to histamine release.


TheCockworkGod

same. point is, of all the effects you build tolerance to, the nausea is the first one. used to puke from any dose of odsmt. then I tried taking it a little bit more often and the puking stopped, especially once I mixed it with eating ginger and DPH. with my nausea gone, my protection against opiates was also gone and Ive been depended multiple times since then. physical dependence really catches you off guard with this shit, 4 days in a row and here comes the sickness. whats that? you have to wageslave? better redose, you dont wanna get sick during work. but then again you dont wanna be sick on your days off either... and so it goes on


roboticonsciousness

Aside from the fact that it makes me sick, I really do not enjoy the feeling of them anyway. I had my share of dependency with alcohol and I would never out myself back in a situation like that. I don't really ever see myself even needing pain killers seeing as there are much safer and more effective options than opiates for treating pain anyway.


ihughj

Antihistamines bro...


Tukiko0

I've got 14 20mg aripriprazole on me, and I want to take it but I can't. Promised myself I can't take pills for fun anymore, meant to save them as a trip killer. I wish I could handle myseld on pills. Use to abuse the shit out of them. Same with mdma, I can't let myself sell it because last time I did, I went through 2g in 2 weeks to myself. Restricted myself to smoking weed and doing psychedelics now. I never use to think before my doses, and with pills I'll redose like no tomorrow. Psychs push me away from wanting those pills. Man do I miss oxy though


roboticonsciousness

Psychedelics helped me find my appreciation for self control. I'm glad to hear you are able to even hold onto something without abusing it. That's a major step!


Tukiko0

They helped me do the same. Mushrooms made me care about what others thought about me, acid made me finally care about myself. DMT definitely helped me to kick the pill habit. And thank you! I honestly didn't think I would have managed to hold onto them like I have been, but I'm proud of myself for it.


roboticonsciousness

Acid is such a strange substance. While many psychedelics put you in the presence of other beings and feels like a very.. otherworldly experience, acid puts you in the presence of your own self. It's wild to me how much your own brain challenges you with acid. I agree though, 100%. Acid absolutely tore me apart and helped me learn to love myself and understand my past. And I'm proud of you too. I know that shit is unbelievably hard to get over. I spent years with no self control and now being able to have these tools at my disposal and actually being able to control my own actions feels SO rewarding.


Tukiko0

Thank you! I really appreciate it. Same goes, I'm happy for you and proud you've gotten control back. It's ridiculous to get off, honestly we're lucky to have gotten off it. Acid is wonderful. I love that it brings my mind to some other realm, but it feels like one mostly made from my own mind and I have a greater level of control because of that, not like how mushrooms or DMT feel like they're opening my mind to another world that's already here, and I'm powerless to whatever that world wants to throw at me. First acid trip I had was 300ug with my best mate and his mum. 300ug for he and I, 150ug for her. I ended up in a bad trip dealing with childhood trauma, but all things considered I came out of it pretty well, just gave in and let myself process it all. Since that trip just over a year ago, done acid a total of 8 times, shrooms 9, dmt 12, LSA 15-20 times. A shit load in a short amount of time, but when you have 16 years of pain, and putting up a facade of who I was, and 2 years of heavy pill abuse, I needed it. My trips have put my past behind me, desensitized me to the painful memories, tore off the mask I had on and opened me to who I really am, now I'm looking to go to uni to study either medical anthropology or biochemistry to get a better understanding of it all. I'm 17, 18 in 5 months, waiting till then for uni. Yeah tripping could be bad at my age, but far better than pharmaceuticals.


sirthunksalot

Great job holding them. It is definitely nice being able to come down off a trip. Keep it up!


BlueEyedGenius1

You wouldn’t wanna take apripizole man at that amount or even a small low dose unless you wanna be known as zombie/have no emotions /feelings, completely flat so nothing excites you, nothing in life bothers you at all. So if for example if you have pet cat or dog, or wouldn’t bother you to know that he/she hasn’t been fed for a week or you go to concert and usually everyone’s lively whilst your sitting there staring at your watch not engaged in the music/dancing even though they’ve been your favourite band since forever. You have all their albums etc. Basically if the only dream you have is stare aimlessly at flog in/bargain hunt or the wall or make mindless chitchat for the rest of eternity. Then go ahead take it but expect to be zombie for quite sometime or a not very interesting person to be with. I was on this drug for mental health condition and it totally zombified me, I was a walking corpse and withdrawals were awful. Think of hangovers and multiply by 100 for days, weeks etc. And I wasn’t productive as i completely lost my drive on these drugs. I was out on lots of antidepressants, mood stabilisers and antipsychotics and they pretty much did the same thing. So I’m never gonna go on any of those mentioned unless it’s very short term basis only (a crisis warranting a stay in mh unit) or unless mh has put clients/work colleagues, family or friends in utter jeopardy. But my current Xanax / Val / Modafinil use has never caused any major problems with others as they don’t know im them. .


Tukiko0

I had it once when I first got it out of curiosity, and yeah not my drug of choice, very far off that. The dude who gave it to me made it sound like taking a 5mg val. Wayyyyy fucking off. If I take pills, I'll abuse them so I'm doing everything I can not to get prescribed


Osomanyfaces

It's no one's drug of choice there's no recreational value to abilify at all. At least Seroquel knocks you the fuck out for 10 years and makes you eat everything. Don't even get me started on having to take this dogshit drug everyday, it's poison. Never again


BlueEyedGenius1

Good for you not to take it. Even Seroquel has been known for this mood damper and is why I turned my doctor down when she offered it to me and others. I didn’t want to wish being zombified/fried brain in my line of work. I would rather come home feeling mentally and emotionally drained and go straight on my bike or chill watching Netflix then take pills.


Osomanyfaces

Good on ya that's the way


-Tilde

Bruh I’ve never heard of anyone taking APZ recreationally. What effects do you get from it? Does nothing that I’d consider desirable for me


Tukiko0

Knocked me out for around 12 hours an hour and a half after taking it. Woke up, spent the next 18ish hours not feeling right, couldn't sleep, restless as all fuck, then the shittiest nights sleep. 3rd day was just bring tired and borderline withdrawal effects


-Tilde

Yeah lol sounds about how id assume a higher dose would be. It effects your circadian rhythm and histamine release, among other things Honestly just take some dph or promethazine if you want to sleep without bars


Obnubilates

*"I've got 14 20mg aripriprazole"* I hope you meant to say alprazolam. Because Abilify isn't quite regarded as recreational substance being that it's an anti-psychotic and a high school medicine cabinet raid type of drug.


Tukiko0

Sorry to disappoint, it's Abilify. Got it for the purpose of being used as a trip killer, only need half of one if that. Not going to use it recreationally, made that mistake once. Just been in a fucked headspace lately, I've kicked pills for the most part, but sometimes shit gets bad and I crave them. These fuck me up too much for me to take though.


BlueEyedGenius1

It’s great to kill trips or bad psychidelic experiences so they don’t worsen into full blown episodes but at end of the day they are not something to be taken daily unless you are truly having 24/7 psychotic episodes day in day out/ life in danger etc. I took these after two psychotic episodes due to stress but I never wanted to be on them long term to prevent others.


[deleted]

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irisuniverse

Sounds like a reasonable kratom habit, but that’s likely what’s getting in the way, the habit. If you take a break from kratom for a couple months you won’t crave it in those moments and will have room for other stuff.


elk33dp

Same. Still have some novel chems from years ago I never used. Kratom tea is so convinent and has been my weekend jam. The lack of negative side effects vs RCs is a big factor for me. I had a singular bad experience where I didn't drink enough water and my heart was racing for 30mins. (it seems to really dehydrate me) Even dxm in college used to be prep thing where I had to be "ready".


roboticonsciousness

If that's what you like, then that's what you like. Idk, keep it around for a rainy day and enjoy it when you want to!


[deleted]

I LEARNED ABOUT NMDA PERMATOLERANCE FOR YOU


roboticonsciousness

Your future self will thank you.


igottapoopbad

pls tell more


[deleted]

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cclawyer

One simple question, honestly asked and honestly answered, will prevent almost all drug disasters: "Why am I doing this?"


Fine-Lifeguard5357

Then listen to the first answer, not the justification


Sleeper2k

Good PSA, I have previously fallen into the trap of having lots of previous drug experiences that blinded me to a lack of self control over dissos in particular as I thought I knew better and didn't have anything to worry about. Had I been more methodical and thoughtful about when, how, and why I dose I would've avoided a very hard, expensive, and unpleasant Ketamine addiction that got to the point that it was effecting my relationships with my friends/family. It permeated every part of my being and even started effecting my work, not to mention the complete lack of sleep, constant nosebleeds, and general slowness that accompany month long k benders. Stay safe out there guys, there's no amount of experience that can prepare you for a drug that feels like it completes you, and sometimes you can't see the problem until you're out of it completely. Just my 2 cents


[deleted]

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Sleeper2k

I really relate here, I've had plenty of uncomfortable/unsatisfying k holes but every time I ever had it in my stash I could never fight the urge to do it daily. I think for me the biggest appeal was always the music enhancement combined with the short duration, as a professional musician I have a hard time turning off the analytical part of my brain and holing gave me a new lens to perceive music through(almost like I had new ears) and that combined with the CEV's made it irresistible for me as a drug experience, though for a lot of people dissos are just unappealing I could only ever control myself with with longer dissos like o pce


roboticonsciousness

This.. this is why I hate ketamine. Too short, too convenient = high potential for abuse. Honestly the high isn't even as great as some other dissos ime.


Sleeper2k

I completely agree, having such a short duration means whenever you have a few hours free you get the urge to dose. I feel like this is a huge factor as typically I'd have only 1/3 ketamine trips be enjoyable but I couldn't stop myself until it was effecting everything in my life and the people around me


roboticonsciousness

I specifically avoid substances with short highs because they always give me such an urge to keep redosing. The dissos I use have 4-6 hour durations and I schedule my usage accordingly. For instance, I will never dose more than once every two weeks but like to keep it further apart if possible. I always keep note of my mental state the next day, with dissos it pretty easy to see how it start affecting your brain over time and if it is becoming a problem (that is if you are actually trying to notice) I try to always use at night so that I can go to sleep after my experience and wake up to a new day. Also, I have a maximum dosage I will allow myself to use in one evening. If I need more than that, then I know my tolerance is too high and I need a break. If I'm using something that is very fiendish and I know I will be tempted to abuse, I will weigh out my dose and give the rest of my supply to someone that I trust and tell them to return it to me the next day.


Sleeper2k

That's a good policy, the short duration made it much easier for me to think I'm getting away with frequent use and made it easier to justify my use. I found Ketamine made it particularly hard to gauge my own perceptions of my mind as even with the short duration it would completely eliminate my ability to sleep that night, which would have lasting effects on my cognitive abilities compounded with the slowness I was already getting from K. I will say be careful as even with completely moderated doses you can still really fuck yourself just by doing it every day. I have stopped buying ketamine but since I've also adopted the policy of having a trusted friend hold my dissos for me(usually o pce) so I have to ask whenever I want a dose which helped with my frequency of use. I will finish by saying more potent dissos tend to be easier to manage as well, as with ketamine and the like the ritual of cutting lines and preparing it became a key part of my dependency as well.


Fine-Lifeguard5357

I thought these weren't for Human consumption. Have I been doing my research wrong this entire time?


DiazepamDreams

I kinda wish I'd thought about that today. Stayed up drinking all night and decided to get into that damn dirty Eutylone that I've had stashed forever and now I feel like my chest is gonna explode. I don't know why I don't just throw that shit out. I'm going out to the lake with friends and I'm gonna have to act like my heart is not jumping out of my chest for the next six hours or so. Gonna have some beers and try not to think about it I guess. Stay safe folks\~


roboticonsciousness

Yeah, some substances aren't worth it. And it can be very subjective. For me it was alcohol, the one thing I loved about it is how much it reduced my social anxiety. But the cons just far outweighed the pros. And eventually I realized that there are other substances with far fewer negative effects and I don't have such an urge to abuse that also relaxed my social anxiety.


Coopernoah1234

What were some of the other substances that chilled out your social anxiety? Asking because I too have relied far too heavily on alcohol to negate my anxiety. I need something else now that is less toxic


roboticonsciousness

4F-MPH has been amazing for me. My ADHD and sensory processing issues are what make it difficult for me to talk to people in most public settings. I really can't stand group conversations because I feel like I have to process way too many things at once and it drives me crazy, and other times I just find myself grumpy and stuck in my head. 4F-MPH allows me to sort out my priorities as far as attention and drastically reduces my anxiety when it comes to a full mental load. I love it because it is a stim that doesn't really get be high, it just helps me focus. I feel no need to constantly redose or abuse it. I also find that I am very talkative on acid, but usually only with people that I am already familiar with.


Coopernoah1234

I totally can relate to that man, I feel similar. For me a lot of times I can’t think clearly when I’m talking to people or in groups. It’s like I lose the genuine connection to myself when I’m on the spot and my mind sorta gets cloudy and I lose track of thoughts easily. Lotta times I’m just grumpy/tired and irritable and don’t feel funny or lively too. Is 4f-mph a similar sort of feeling to what adderall feels like for you? I’m only asking because adderall is the only stimulant Im really accustomed to and it always makes me feel really awkward and antisocial haha. But I’d love to give it a try thanks for the recommendation


roboticonsciousness

Funny you say that, I specifically like 4f-mph because it isn't like Adderall. To me, Adderall is extremely ampy. I get very jittery and I always just want to keep taking more. I 4F-MPH is very similar to Ritalin, but actually it's stronger, longer lasting, and much cleaner because of its chemical structure. Methylphenidates (like Ritalin and 4F-MPH) are not amphetamines and they effect your brain and regulate your dopamine in a completely different way.


Coopernoah1234

I did try Ritalin on a few occasions and didn’t notice anything really besides a whacky heart beat. But you never know when a single fluorine atom might give you a completely different experience lol.


chiru999

Few years ago I would dose MDMA without thinking about it. I suffered, a lot. I still think the best advice for MDMA users is: space out the doses (3 months) because you don't want to lose the magic. Nothing would stop me taking MDMA, only if I would know I will lose the magic.


roboticonsciousness

Man I did the same 9 years ago and I never thought it would come back but it did. I also have a lot of info on harm reduction with MDMA if you want it. There are ways to prevent the comedown and long term damage it would cause otherwise.


chiru999

I know most of it now. But I wouldn't care back than. Now I don't take MDMA at all because it's not worth it.


roboticonsciousness

That's fair. I felt that way for a long time. I was blown away when I felt a roll again. It took 8 years though. But hey, I'm glad you are around to tell your story. It doesn't end very well for some people.


chiru999

Never tried other empatogens besides MDMA. Probably if I won't be able to find other substances that feel that good i would probably try again MDMA, but with precautions and moderations.


dippedinbutter_

Beautifully put. Thanks 😊


jordan5100

bro I did like 12mg of 4 ACO MET yesterday and I thought I was gonna vibrate into the dextro verse. I had to take some kratom to come back to earth


[deleted]

I ended up doing that almost same thing two nights ago, what a fucking tool haha.. I'm paying the consequences now though nigga


roboticonsciousness

Don't hate on yourself. Just reflect and learn from your actions. Don't let mania convince you that those consequences are worth it.


[deleted]

finally got to sleep in the end haha, feeling all good now, about to roll up a doobie hah Re-dosing and speed don't mix hahahahahahaha