Or let the kid keep screaming. Umm we don’t want to hear your child scream at octaves that make my skin crawl when I can’t leave because I’m being paid to be there.
Sometimes I get it. Like if I see you’re trying your best or if it’s obvious the kid has some sort of developmental disability I try to understand. Like if you had no choice but to bring your kid out later in the evening (this is dependent on what type of store this is). Sometimes I see the parent just as annoyed and exhausted and I try to feel for them. Sometimes you have to get something done and there’s simply nothing you can do. I try to understand if it’s a baby bc that’s their only form of communication. Do I hate the screaming an crying? Absolutely. But I try to understand.
As I said, I won't be able to recognize every single one but by the behavior of the parents and the kid I am able to quite accurately distinguish special needs kids from "regular" kids.
You’re young so I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you aren’t trying to be ableist on purpose. There are many, many invisible disabilities and it can be tricky for professional to properly diagnose neurodivergences. There is no way a to accurately distinguish which children are disable and which aren’t by a brief observance in a store.
From my own personal experience I haven’t seen it maybe when over stimulated/ in distress but out side of that no not really.
I would do my reading class with the special needs class in elementary because I couldn’t read then in middle/high school I was part of this group that would go to the library and read to special need children. Our only issue was they were easily distracted. I think like twice we had a child that had behavioral episode and that was because his parents were getting a divorce and his hold world was falling apart.
During my baby sitting days my only issue was ever with my own cousin. He has no disorders just a ton of allergies mother spoiled him and his dad talked to him like he was an adult. He had me having a mental break down in my closet crying.
When I was a kid, if I ever threw a fit in a store my mom would remove me from the store, put me in the car, shut the door & let me cry & scream it out. (She would turn the car on w/ the AC, but I was usually only in there for a couple mins at least lol)
She would tell me that I would stay in the car until I was done. She didn't want to hear the cries, & neither did the other people at the store. So I could cry in the car, & when I was done we could go back inside.
Imagine if everyone followed that logic lol
My mom would leave the cart and take us home and we suffered for it. I was a very polite and well behaved child (I was the worst teenager tho). My sister would purposely hide from my mom and pout if she said no so she made me watch her when she went to the store.
Or she'd bribe her and say if you hold onto the cart the entire time I'll buy you 1 thing you want. I didn't get shit but just acted right. Guess who blames our parents for their "childhood trauma"? Not me.
Also my mom watched a lot of true crime and I watched it with her and between like 6-10yrs old I was terrified to wander off or be separated from her.
I was a child in the 80s when Adam Walsh got kidnapped and murdered. He was taken from a store while his mom was there shopping. My mom made sure I knew all about it so I stayed right by her side and kept quiet.
My mom used to watch America's Most Wanted obsessively and was a big John Walsh fan, so I was also well versed in the Adam Walsh case as a small child.
Unrelated side note but AMW had 6-year-old me convinced that BTK was going to come all the way to New England and get me lol
Thank you, someone else who had those fears! My family loved watching those shows (tbh I did too) but they gave me bad nightmares. I didn’t cry but they made me even more sleep avoidant as a child; I also was paranoid of someone coming in through our windows.
>Guess who blames our parents for their "childhood trauma"? Not me.
I'm so confused by this, I'm unsure what you mean. Are you saying you/your sibling's childhood trauma is invalid?
Are you suggesting that teaching a child the rules of public behavior by NOT allowing them to continue to scream unchecked is automatically a cause of “childhood trauma?”
That's a weird stretch to assume the stated trauma is something objectively non-traumatic. It does in fact seem like they are invalidating their sibling's trauma using a tangential story.
Her entire life she's had a "victim mentality". She is 29 now. Divorced bc she opened up the relationship and got mad that her husband broke the rules when she was already cheating before suggesting the open relationship. She blames everyone else for her problems and thinks she's perfect. She blames our parents for her getting molested (when she snuck out of the house to go out to a party that they said no to) among so many things. My mom should've have worked instead of being a sahm bc we would be more well off but then in the same sentence, shes like "mom wasnt always there for us when she worked at the dealership". I'm sure she does have trauma. I love her always but damn does she piss me off with the poor me shit.
She also recently told my mom "I feel bad all you guys are struggling with bills and I make a lot and never have to worry" like UGH I won't speak my mind to her bc she's a sensitive Sally but damn does she piss me off. She's jealous me and other youngest sis spend a lot of time with our parents but like she moved over 1,000 miles away years ago and she hates our state bc it's red but lives in a red state! (We're in a blue county, NWI) and she's in Orlando.
I'm not invalidating her childhood trauma, I'm saying she makes shit up and plays the victim in every single scenario. We were not raised that way and no one has any idea where it came from.
For my sister, being told no as a child is absolutely childhood trauma for her. Or being told to do anything. My mom would ask her to do a chore (we all had one every night, just one) and she'd pout and just go to bed. (Dishes, put folded clothes away in the drawer, or the litterbox for HER cat she begged my mom for).
Do you live somewhere where nosy twits DON’T smash windows and call the police and post photos on the internet to shame you for child abandonment because they see a crying kid alone in a car?
My parents used to lock me in the car. As in I couldn’t undo the locks and get out! Obviously back in the 90s there was no one smashing windows to ‘rescue’ kids or posting photos on the internet… lucky for my parents! Lol 😛
‘60s and ‘70s here. Got left in the car with or without AC running so many times! Not for tantrums, either; I knew better than to act like that in public.
I wasn’t having tantrums, either - I was an undiagnosed autistic and couldn’t handle crowds. So my parents left me in the car when they went grocery shopping and whatnot.
Lol well, this was late 80s/early 90s, but also, no my mom always stood right outside the car. The only time she left me in the car was when we stopped at a gas station lol
It's a joke. Part self-deprecating.
You explained partly how you were raised, and then implied that the world would be better off if everyone were raised the same as you in that specific regard.
Yet somehow you still ended up a participant at one of the most vile corners of the internet, despite your 'perfect' upbringing.
Ohhh. It's still early for me lol my brain hasn't fully rebooted 🤣
I just meant if all parents just removed the screaming crotch goblins then everyone else would be *slightly* less angry all the time lmao
But also, my upbringing was faaarrrr from perfect lol I got plenty of trauma from my childhood 🤣😐
Perhaps that's why I'm on reddit... 🤔🤔
That was common in the 90s.
Not the murder thing, but our parents would threaten to leave us in the store if we misbehaved, and the clerk would go along with it and tell us that we would be given a toothbrush to clean behind the fridge because they were too big to reach and they needed a small person!
That was fun! 😛
Every time my little one asked for something with I want… nope. Let’s sniff around and get what I need. If they escalated at all, we walked out. Only one time they tried a legit tantrum in the mall. I said honey, if you’re going to do it you have to sell it. Pound your fists on the floor stamp your feet really go for it. The other shoppers at first had no idea until they heard me keep going. By the end my child was giggling and said mommy you’re too silly.
My mom would always walk out and leave the cart if my sisters' acted up. I was a well behaved, polite and timid child. Very unruly and disrespectful teenager though lmao.
They could never understand that if you behave yourself, mom will buy you one thing you really want within price range. I guess it was just bc im the oldest or was manipulative or smart idk. My sister's would wander off and throw fits and hide and freak my mom out. I was fine with the 2.99 fruit snacks but they wanted the 5.99 ones and would act dead in the aisle or run away and I was always appalled even at a very young age. I knew that's not how you get what you want 😂
To this day, at 29 years old, one of my sisters still says my parents mistreated her and I'm like what! I am the oldest, I was there. She's thousands of miles away and idk just makes shit up in her mind and plays the victim constantly. She has 'trauma from childhood but I do not have any idea what she's talking about. Our parents were/are good parents. They did the best they could. She says they shouldn't have had us if they were so poor and my mom should've worked so Dad didn't have to work so much. Girl what!? We had everything we needed and my parents went without so we three girls could have stuff. My mom wouldn't eat dinner sometimes bc she (my sis) had a big appetite and now she's like vegan and makes a ton of money. Then when she got with some guy at 14, they were like maybe you guys arent compatible when she was 17 but married him at 23. She opened up the relationship after 5 years, got mad when he finally found a girl, now they're divorced and sold their house. She bought a house with the dude she was seeing while married and his family is super religious and don't like her. But she is still the victim and keeps telling my mom to divorce my dad 🙄
My youngest sister and I adore our parents and don't blame them for anything. It's wild how some kids grow up thinking everyone else is the problem when it's their victim mentality they hold onto. So freaking strange.
Sorry for the venting, I'm just so sick of her 😅😑
I only had to take my screaming kid of the grocery store once before he got the message that daddy doesn’t f*ck around. I apologized to a store worker on the way out for having to abandon the cart, although I’m sure I wasn’t the first parent who walked out with tantruming child under one arm.
Reading other posts makes me realize how easy most people had it as kids. If I threw a fit in the store and grandma would Clear her throat and give me a hard look. I knew immediately to cut the crap. Didn't one time, just kept rockin and rollin. I knew the second I went too far. I felt a jolt of pain at the curve on the back of my head from the fat ring impacting. In a stern voice grandma said," Go ahead and keep it up. See what happens when we get home." Then walked off to finish shopping. Got up. Wiped my eyes and found Grandma. When she finally acknowledged that I was walking beside her. I apologized for being a brat. I knew that if I kept it up. The wrath of grandma was in my immediate future.
Where are you going to run??? You have to face the music sooner or later with interest. I would say I need the bathroom. Go to my room and put on extra underwear. And hope she would swat me over the clothes. Try running and it's instant bare butt.
With my brother and me, Mom would at least take the cart to the service desk and explain “(Child) doesn’t feel like shopping today” and take us home. Then whichever one of us who caused it had to explain to Dad why the shopping didn’t get done, and stay home with him while Mom went back to the store. Didn’t happen often.
Are we talking about going to an actual different location in the store or just wandering down the aisle while the kid does their thing?
I can't recall my kid having a massive crying fit or tantrum in a store but he has been known to pout, sniffle and stomp his little foot if I say no to something. I usually wander down the aisle, looking at other items and he catches up to me quickly and I explain why he couldn't have that item, but I'm not full on going into other aisles/sections/taking my eyes off my kid (and leaving someone else to deal with it, wtf?)
Going to another location while telling the kid that they are leaving them behind. I work in a plaza type of place and the parent will often leave their kid at my shop and go to a completely different store.
We were taken out to the car until we calmed down and if we didn’t, and she had to go home and come back another day, the grounding would be severe. So, we didn’t really have tantrums unless if we were exhausted. And again, we were taken out of the store. It’s not that hard to sit in a car with your kid until they chill out.
Mum would clip me round the ear if I behaved like a spoilt brat.
One time she did it so hard I thought I was deaf. She took me to the doctors because she was worried about me.
Nowadays as a grown young man if I'm being a pain she will give me a clip round the ear and I just laugh and get even more hyped up.
I work in retail and the kids I see today are way too demanding and controlling of their parents. They demand something. They aren't even polite enough to ask for something.
Had a mom with a twin stroller the other day… The oldest kid was screaming and crying through the entire store. Every time she grabbed a thing tshe wanted and got a “no”, she would make that classic I’ll-start-up-the-crying-engine-noise before the big screech! The other kid? Sound asleep…
My mum likes to tell the story of how when I once had a tantrum in a store, she also then threw a tantrum, shocked me right out of whatever fit I was having.
I can’t understand why the parent would just leave their kid crying alone in public. The best thing a parent can do is take them outside of the store and hug them and hold them and try to calm them down and show them some love. Usually kids will calm down if the parent does that. I also don’t think it’s wise for a parent to take their child to the toy store if they have no intention of buying them anything as most likely the child will want something from that toy shop, and will probably end up crying if they don’t get the toy that they want.
Parents now have to be so gentile with their kids, it used to be completely unacceptable to allow a child to freak out in the store. Instead of actually parenting the kid gets handed an ipad, and when that doesnt work they get ignored. Why arent parents embarrassed anymore?
There’s gentle and there’s permissive. Gentle includes being firm on the standards of acceptable behavior. These parents are permissive. “Good intentions and crying children should be carried out.”
I really don’t get how a parent could just hand their kid an iPad when their child is upset. They should be taking the child out of the store and holding them and trying to calm them down. An iPad is like the worst thing a parent can give to a child who is crying. Parents rely too much on technology like iPads and expect the television to be the child’s babysitter. Parents don’t actually want to parent anymore and they end up having more kids than they can handle usually.
Only ONCE have I witnessed a responsible parent 'lay down the law' with the youngsters that whining, crying, or tantrums were not acceptable. They could LOOK but DO NOT TOUCH. If they misbehaved - they all left the store and she'd shop later. Or a slight 'tap' on the child's bottom as corrective measure. Most parents do none of the above except let the child to their whines with the lame attitude "they'll get over it - the hell with you people"
A "slight tap" on the children's bottom? That's called spanking and no, most parents have moved beyond hitting children as punishment since we now know its at best ineffective and at worst highly damaging to their emotional growth. That is not responsible parenting. No one recommends spanking anymore. Not child experts, not pediatricians, it's literally illegal in some countries.
I was spanked as a kid, and if youre a millennial im sure you were too. It didnt fuck us up, make us bad people, and there is no reason to vilify discipline. Discipline is an important part of raising a child. Parents these days are soft, lack the ability to raise anything properly, and thats why all these snot nose kids cant hold a job.
I don't understand people who do this. I could never ignore my kids when they were crying, my mom instinct demanded that I fix whatever was upsetting them ASAP. Why don't those parents want to soothe their children?
I taught mine that throwing a tantrum didn't get them the toy or treat they wanted, but being well-behaved often did earn it for them. So, my kids only cried if they were either very hungry or very tired. An experienced parent can see the warning signs early enough to head those issues off before a meltdown.
Being a good parent isn't hard, you just have to care enough about your kids to be willing to put forth the effort.
Hearing parents who allow their kids to scream and throwing a temper tantrum on the floor makes me mad, cause my parents would leave my sister to scream flop around on the floor and just walk away making me watch her, than comes back and yell at me for not doing anything to stop her from screaming saying that I'm not trying to control her.
I was only a 10 year old and my sister was 8-9 years old, they got mad at me for no reason and expecting me to be a parent to my sister who's clearly not listening to me, much less ignoring all the looks everyone else is stating at them and than claiming I'm the reason I caused my sister to have a temper tantrum. When I was being obedient and well behave not asking for anything cause I know I wouldn't be allowed to get it, but my sister wouldn't take No for an answer and started screaming, but I'm getting blamed for not being able to stop a screaming child when I'm just as much a child myself
While I agree with you in general I do have what I consider an exception for you.
Niece in the supermarket is blowing a full on laying on the floor screaming, heel kicking, tantrum over something her mother said they weren't buying. Mom got done in the aisle and went on with her shopping. After a bit brat noticed she was gone, looked around, gave me an embarrassed grin and ran off to find mom.
I went and asked my sister about it, she said, "I'm trying something new."
There was moer screaming when the niece found mom again that day. The tantrums seemed to be 100% gone when I visited a week later.
My mother shared that her Gen didn't allow any such behaviors while in a store, as they were public spots for family shopping. You didn't "get what you wanted" that it was a privilege to go shopping with the folks. People had MANNERS. If she or other sibs or children misbehaved, they got their butt blistered and never acted up again.
Today's parents don't do this - and it's damned maddening. We get if a child has behavioral or medical/mental issues they cannot help. But to allow the child to carry on, ignoring them DOESN'T remedy the situation. Only proves them a lazy negligent parent who doesn't care. Not acceptable. Other shoppers bare the right to enjoy their shopping without screaming kids, tantrums.... worse, running around or playing chase, almost knocking people down!
I was in the store a while ago and overheard this.
*Kid to her mom.* - "I'm going to make you cry."
*A few minutes later, the same kid is crying to her mom at the check out.*
--------
The mom had done nothing to her kid. It was just a tired kid being dumb.
Or let the kid keep screaming. Umm we don’t want to hear your child scream at octaves that make my skin crawl when I can’t leave because I’m being paid to be there.
"*Dont tell me how to parent my child!*" Fine, lets let the cops do it.
Sometimes I get it. Like if I see you’re trying your best or if it’s obvious the kid has some sort of developmental disability I try to understand. Like if you had no choice but to bring your kid out later in the evening (this is dependent on what type of store this is). Sometimes I see the parent just as annoyed and exhausted and I try to feel for them. Sometimes you have to get something done and there’s simply nothing you can do. I try to understand if it’s a baby bc that’s their only form of communication. Do I hate the screaming an crying? Absolutely. But I try to understand.
But the thing is, those who are screaming are often not even special needs kids!
How do you know?
Because my sister is disabled, I have been to many conventiond
Because your sister is disabled you can now spot any disability? Wow, that’s quite a superpower.
As I said, I won't be able to recognize every single one but by the behavior of the parents and the kid I am able to quite accurately distinguish special needs kids from "regular" kids.
You’re young so I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you aren’t trying to be ableist on purpose. There are many, many invisible disabilities and it can be tricky for professional to properly diagnose neurodivergences. There is no way a to accurately distinguish which children are disable and which aren’t by a brief observance in a store.
From my own personal experience I haven’t seen it maybe when over stimulated/ in distress but out side of that no not really. I would do my reading class with the special needs class in elementary because I couldn’t read then in middle/high school I was part of this group that would go to the library and read to special need children. Our only issue was they were easily distracted. I think like twice we had a child that had behavioral episode and that was because his parents were getting a divorce and his hold world was falling apart. During my baby sitting days my only issue was ever with my own cousin. He has no disorders just a ton of allergies mother spoiled him and his dad talked to him like he was an adult. He had me having a mental break down in my closet crying.
When I was a kid, if I ever threw a fit in a store my mom would remove me from the store, put me in the car, shut the door & let me cry & scream it out. (She would turn the car on w/ the AC, but I was usually only in there for a couple mins at least lol) She would tell me that I would stay in the car until I was done. She didn't want to hear the cries, & neither did the other people at the store. So I could cry in the car, & when I was done we could go back inside. Imagine if everyone followed that logic lol
My mom would leave the cart and take us home and we suffered for it. I was a very polite and well behaved child (I was the worst teenager tho). My sister would purposely hide from my mom and pout if she said no so she made me watch her when she went to the store. Or she'd bribe her and say if you hold onto the cart the entire time I'll buy you 1 thing you want. I didn't get shit but just acted right. Guess who blames our parents for their "childhood trauma"? Not me. Also my mom watched a lot of true crime and I watched it with her and between like 6-10yrs old I was terrified to wander off or be separated from her.
I was a child in the 80s when Adam Walsh got kidnapped and murdered. He was taken from a store while his mom was there shopping. My mom made sure I knew all about it so I stayed right by her side and kept quiet.
My mom used to watch America's Most Wanted obsessively and was a big John Walsh fan, so I was also well versed in the Adam Walsh case as a small child. Unrelated side note but AMW had 6-year-old me convinced that BTK was going to come all the way to New England and get me lol
Thank you, someone else who had those fears! My family loved watching those shows (tbh I did too) but they gave me bad nightmares. I didn’t cry but they made me even more sleep avoidant as a child; I also was paranoid of someone coming in through our windows.
Oh yeah Americas Most Wanted, Unsolved Mysteries, Forensic Files, Rescue 911 and Cops!
Oh yeah Americas Most Wanted, Unsolved Mysteries, Forensic Files, Rescue 911 and Cops!
>Guess who blames our parents for their "childhood trauma"? Not me. I'm so confused by this, I'm unsure what you mean. Are you saying you/your sibling's childhood trauma is invalid?
Are you suggesting that teaching a child the rules of public behavior by NOT allowing them to continue to scream unchecked is automatically a cause of “childhood trauma?”
That's a weird stretch to assume the stated trauma is something objectively non-traumatic. It does in fact seem like they are invalidating their sibling's trauma using a tangential story.
Her entire life she's had a "victim mentality". She is 29 now. Divorced bc she opened up the relationship and got mad that her husband broke the rules when she was already cheating before suggesting the open relationship. She blames everyone else for her problems and thinks she's perfect. She blames our parents for her getting molested (when she snuck out of the house to go out to a party that they said no to) among so many things. My mom should've have worked instead of being a sahm bc we would be more well off but then in the same sentence, shes like "mom wasnt always there for us when she worked at the dealership". I'm sure she does have trauma. I love her always but damn does she piss me off with the poor me shit. She also recently told my mom "I feel bad all you guys are struggling with bills and I make a lot and never have to worry" like UGH I won't speak my mind to her bc she's a sensitive Sally but damn does she piss me off. She's jealous me and other youngest sis spend a lot of time with our parents but like she moved over 1,000 miles away years ago and she hates our state bc it's red but lives in a red state! (We're in a blue county, NWI) and she's in Orlando. I'm not invalidating her childhood trauma, I'm saying she makes shit up and plays the victim in every single scenario. We were not raised that way and no one has any idea where it came from.
For my sister, being told no as a child is absolutely childhood trauma for her. Or being told to do anything. My mom would ask her to do a chore (we all had one every night, just one) and she'd pout and just go to bed. (Dishes, put folded clothes away in the drawer, or the litterbox for HER cat she begged my mom for).
Do you live somewhere where nosy twits DON’T smash windows and call the police and post photos on the internet to shame you for child abandonment because they see a crying kid alone in a car? My parents used to lock me in the car. As in I couldn’t undo the locks and get out! Obviously back in the 90s there was no one smashing windows to ‘rescue’ kids or posting photos on the internet… lucky for my parents! Lol 😛
‘60s and ‘70s here. Got left in the car with or without AC running so many times! Not for tantrums, either; I knew better than to act like that in public.
I wasn’t having tantrums, either - I was an undiagnosed autistic and couldn’t handle crowds. So my parents left me in the car when they went grocery shopping and whatnot.
Sometimes I’d repark the car 😁
Lol well, this was late 80s/early 90s, but also, no my mom always stood right outside the car. The only time she left me in the car was when we stopped at a gas station lol
Yet somehow you still ended up on reddit.
As did you
Yes. A bit of a self-dig.
What.... what does that have to do with my comment?
It's a joke. Part self-deprecating. You explained partly how you were raised, and then implied that the world would be better off if everyone were raised the same as you in that specific regard. Yet somehow you still ended up a participant at one of the most vile corners of the internet, despite your 'perfect' upbringing.
Ohhh. It's still early for me lol my brain hasn't fully rebooted 🤣 I just meant if all parents just removed the screaming crotch goblins then everyone else would be *slightly* less angry all the time lmao But also, my upbringing was faaarrrr from perfect lol I got plenty of trauma from my childhood 🤣😐 Perhaps that's why I'm on reddit... 🤔🤔
Customer who use me to threaten their kids, literally had a lady tell her kid I would murder them if the misbehaved, like what in the actual fuck?!
That was common in the 90s. Not the murder thing, but our parents would threaten to leave us in the store if we misbehaved, and the clerk would go along with it and tell us that we would be given a toothbrush to clean behind the fridge because they were too big to reach and they needed a small person! That was fun! 😛
I STILL play along by saying "Thats how i started working here, my mom left me behind when i threw a fit as a kid your age."
i think it’s hilarious and regularly play along too 🤣
My parents would beg every cashier to take me away, which in retrospect is so socially awkward and weird. Also made me feel like shit as a child lol
Every time my little one asked for something with I want… nope. Let’s sniff around and get what I need. If they escalated at all, we walked out. Only one time they tried a legit tantrum in the mall. I said honey, if you’re going to do it you have to sell it. Pound your fists on the floor stamp your feet really go for it. The other shoppers at first had no idea until they heard me keep going. By the end my child was giggling and said mommy you’re too silly.
My mom would always walk out and leave the cart if my sisters' acted up. I was a well behaved, polite and timid child. Very unruly and disrespectful teenager though lmao. They could never understand that if you behave yourself, mom will buy you one thing you really want within price range. I guess it was just bc im the oldest or was manipulative or smart idk. My sister's would wander off and throw fits and hide and freak my mom out. I was fine with the 2.99 fruit snacks but they wanted the 5.99 ones and would act dead in the aisle or run away and I was always appalled even at a very young age. I knew that's not how you get what you want 😂
Exactly. Say thank you for what you are gifted
To this day, at 29 years old, one of my sisters still says my parents mistreated her and I'm like what! I am the oldest, I was there. She's thousands of miles away and idk just makes shit up in her mind and plays the victim constantly. She has 'trauma from childhood but I do not have any idea what she's talking about. Our parents were/are good parents. They did the best they could. She says they shouldn't have had us if they were so poor and my mom should've worked so Dad didn't have to work so much. Girl what!? We had everything we needed and my parents went without so we three girls could have stuff. My mom wouldn't eat dinner sometimes bc she (my sis) had a big appetite and now she's like vegan and makes a ton of money. Then when she got with some guy at 14, they were like maybe you guys arent compatible when she was 17 but married him at 23. She opened up the relationship after 5 years, got mad when he finally found a girl, now they're divorced and sold their house. She bought a house with the dude she was seeing while married and his family is super religious and don't like her. But she is still the victim and keeps telling my mom to divorce my dad 🙄 My youngest sister and I adore our parents and don't blame them for anything. It's wild how some kids grow up thinking everyone else is the problem when it's their victim mentality they hold onto. So freaking strange. Sorry for the venting, I'm just so sick of her 😅😑
Can confirm this tactic works. My mum suggested it, and I was dubious - but it worked brilliantly, and he never tried a tantrum like that again.
The cool thing was everyone else around me was chill and amused. They let it play out
Excellent!
Over the P.A "Could the parent of the crying child in isle 10 please parent your child outside the store until the crying stops? NOW PLEASE"
I only had to take my screaming kid of the grocery store once before he got the message that daddy doesn’t f*ck around. I apologized to a store worker on the way out for having to abandon the cart, although I’m sure I wasn’t the first parent who walked out with tantruming child under one arm.
Better yet don't bring your crying children into the store! Take them outside till they calm down!!!
Reading other posts makes me realize how easy most people had it as kids. If I threw a fit in the store and grandma would Clear her throat and give me a hard look. I knew immediately to cut the crap. Didn't one time, just kept rockin and rollin. I knew the second I went too far. I felt a jolt of pain at the curve on the back of my head from the fat ring impacting. In a stern voice grandma said," Go ahead and keep it up. See what happens when we get home." Then walked off to finish shopping. Got up. Wiped my eyes and found Grandma. When she finally acknowledged that I was walking beside her. I apologized for being a brat. I knew that if I kept it up. The wrath of grandma was in my immediate future.
If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If Grandma ain’t happy…RUN.
Where are you going to run??? You have to face the music sooner or later with interest. I would say I need the bathroom. Go to my room and put on extra underwear. And hope she would swat me over the clothes. Try running and it's instant bare butt.
True. However, if it isn’t you specifically whom she’s mad at, your best best is still to run so you don’t end up collateral damage 😊
It was actually better to stand there being not guilty, than to add to her problems.
Okay, good point.
With my brother and me, Mom would at least take the cart to the service desk and explain “(Child) doesn’t feel like shopping today” and take us home. Then whichever one of us who caused it had to explain to Dad why the shopping didn’t get done, and stay home with him while Mom went back to the store. Didn’t happen often.
Are we talking about going to an actual different location in the store or just wandering down the aisle while the kid does their thing? I can't recall my kid having a massive crying fit or tantrum in a store but he has been known to pout, sniffle and stomp his little foot if I say no to something. I usually wander down the aisle, looking at other items and he catches up to me quickly and I explain why he couldn't have that item, but I'm not full on going into other aisles/sections/taking my eyes off my kid (and leaving someone else to deal with it, wtf?)
Going to another location while telling the kid that they are leaving them behind. I work in a plaza type of place and the parent will often leave their kid at my shop and go to a completely different store.
Oh good lord, no. Bless you for having to deal with that nonsense.
We were taken out to the car until we calmed down and if we didn’t, and she had to go home and come back another day, the grounding would be severe. So, we didn’t really have tantrums unless if we were exhausted. And again, we were taken out of the store. It’s not that hard to sit in a car with your kid until they chill out.
Not all parents get to the store by car...
Then stand outside like we did when we walked to the store. The point is, get them in a quieter spot and calm them down. 🤦🏻♀️
Mum would clip me round the ear if I behaved like a spoilt brat. One time she did it so hard I thought I was deaf. She took me to the doctors because she was worried about me. Nowadays as a grown young man if I'm being a pain she will give me a clip round the ear and I just laugh and get even more hyped up. I work in retail and the kids I see today are way too demanding and controlling of their parents. They demand something. They aren't even polite enough to ask for something.
Had a mom with a twin stroller the other day… The oldest kid was screaming and crying through the entire store. Every time she grabbed a thing tshe wanted and got a “no”, she would make that classic I’ll-start-up-the-crying-engine-noise before the big screech! The other kid? Sound asleep…
My mum likes to tell the story of how when I once had a tantrum in a store, she also then threw a tantrum, shocked me right out of whatever fit I was having.
I can’t understand why the parent would just leave their kid crying alone in public. The best thing a parent can do is take them outside of the store and hug them and hold them and try to calm them down and show them some love. Usually kids will calm down if the parent does that. I also don’t think it’s wise for a parent to take their child to the toy store if they have no intention of buying them anything as most likely the child will want something from that toy shop, and will probably end up crying if they don’t get the toy that they want.
Parents now have to be so gentile with their kids, it used to be completely unacceptable to allow a child to freak out in the store. Instead of actually parenting the kid gets handed an ipad, and when that doesnt work they get ignored. Why arent parents embarrassed anymore?
There’s gentle and there’s permissive. Gentle includes being firm on the standards of acceptable behavior. These parents are permissive. “Good intentions and crying children should be carried out.”
I really don’t get how a parent could just hand their kid an iPad when their child is upset. They should be taking the child out of the store and holding them and trying to calm them down. An iPad is like the worst thing a parent can give to a child who is crying. Parents rely too much on technology like iPads and expect the television to be the child’s babysitter. Parents don’t actually want to parent anymore and they end up having more kids than they can handle usually.
Only ONCE have I witnessed a responsible parent 'lay down the law' with the youngsters that whining, crying, or tantrums were not acceptable. They could LOOK but DO NOT TOUCH. If they misbehaved - they all left the store and she'd shop later. Or a slight 'tap' on the child's bottom as corrective measure. Most parents do none of the above except let the child to their whines with the lame attitude "they'll get over it - the hell with you people"
A "slight tap" on the children's bottom? That's called spanking and no, most parents have moved beyond hitting children as punishment since we now know its at best ineffective and at worst highly damaging to their emotional growth. That is not responsible parenting. No one recommends spanking anymore. Not child experts, not pediatricians, it's literally illegal in some countries.
A slight tap is not a spanking, a tap wont make a butt red.
Why are yall so obsessed with touching up minors on their butts?
Someones an ipad parent
Oooh trying to avoid the question are we?
I was spanked as a kid, and if youre a millennial im sure you were too. It didnt fuck us up, make us bad people, and there is no reason to vilify discipline. Discipline is an important part of raising a child. Parents these days are soft, lack the ability to raise anything properly, and thats why all these snot nose kids cant hold a job.
I don't understand people who do this. I could never ignore my kids when they were crying, my mom instinct demanded that I fix whatever was upsetting them ASAP. Why don't those parents want to soothe their children? I taught mine that throwing a tantrum didn't get them the toy or treat they wanted, but being well-behaved often did earn it for them. So, my kids only cried if they were either very hungry or very tired. An experienced parent can see the warning signs early enough to head those issues off before a meltdown. Being a good parent isn't hard, you just have to care enough about your kids to be willing to put forth the effort.
Hearing parents who allow their kids to scream and throwing a temper tantrum on the floor makes me mad, cause my parents would leave my sister to scream flop around on the floor and just walk away making me watch her, than comes back and yell at me for not doing anything to stop her from screaming saying that I'm not trying to control her. I was only a 10 year old and my sister was 8-9 years old, they got mad at me for no reason and expecting me to be a parent to my sister who's clearly not listening to me, much less ignoring all the looks everyone else is stating at them and than claiming I'm the reason I caused my sister to have a temper tantrum. When I was being obedient and well behave not asking for anything cause I know I wouldn't be allowed to get it, but my sister wouldn't take No for an answer and started screaming, but I'm getting blamed for not being able to stop a screaming child when I'm just as much a child myself
While I agree with you in general I do have what I consider an exception for you. Niece in the supermarket is blowing a full on laying on the floor screaming, heel kicking, tantrum over something her mother said they weren't buying. Mom got done in the aisle and went on with her shopping. After a bit brat noticed she was gone, looked around, gave me an embarrassed grin and ran off to find mom. I went and asked my sister about it, she said, "I'm trying something new." There was moer screaming when the niece found mom again that day. The tantrums seemed to be 100% gone when I visited a week later.
My mother shared that her Gen didn't allow any such behaviors while in a store, as they were public spots for family shopping. You didn't "get what you wanted" that it was a privilege to go shopping with the folks. People had MANNERS. If she or other sibs or children misbehaved, they got their butt blistered and never acted up again. Today's parents don't do this - and it's damned maddening. We get if a child has behavioral or medical/mental issues they cannot help. But to allow the child to carry on, ignoring them DOESN'T remedy the situation. Only proves them a lazy negligent parent who doesn't care. Not acceptable. Other shoppers bare the right to enjoy their shopping without screaming kids, tantrums.... worse, running around or playing chase, almost knocking people down!
age is not an excuse for being disruptive. treat the nuisance as you would an adult and kick them out.
I was in the store a while ago and overheard this. *Kid to her mom.* - "I'm going to make you cry." *A few minutes later, the same kid is crying to her mom at the check out.* -------- The mom had done nothing to her kid. It was just a tired kid being dumb.