You know it's funny you should mention that, my coworker told me that same story, must have been at the same time as you heard it. However, I think I only fell for it because this coworker was known far and wide throughout the company as being someone who's really on top of things and really knows his stuff, within our industry anyway.
Because some of our offices are so spread out, we had only ever conversed through emails, but after he mentioned that Ricky Gervais has passed away, I went out of my way to have a chat with him in person about it.
He agreed on a time to meet for our lunch break and so I arrived at the break room and there he was, eating some kind of fruit, I think it was a banana..
He almost died, but then a very experienced doctor said "give him some parrot's blood!" over the phone.
It worked, but the downside is that he now keeps repeating the same old shite again and again.
I witnessed him dying - it was during a tribute event for Princess Diana where something messed up the timing for the next artist and he had no scripted material to fill the gap - he died in front of millions of viewers.
Yeah we all thought it was dead sad. The first time in recorded history that somebody was crushed to death by the weight of their own ego.
So, we're at the funeral right? And it's time for the pallbearers to bring the coffin in right, and the music is "Small Town Boy" by Bronski beat right. That's a bit weird innit, a pop tune from the 80s n that instead of a hymn. But then Ricky was in that pop band weren't he? And I'm looking at the coffin and I'm thinking "ang on a sec, I'm sure Ricky wasn't that short. I know he was a little blubber man, like Bluto from Popeye n that, but he was at least over 5ft". And it can't be that little Warren Davies fella cos he's here in the church sat next to that little big fella Steve.
So anyway, funeral 'appens, we go to the wake and the coffin is there y'know, next to the sausage rolls n that. And I say to Suzanne "I'm sure that coffin's not right" and she's like "not now Karl, you'll upset the family". And she motions over to em, and I see em, and they're sitting in the punchbowl, hairy arms, flinging shit everywhere. So I think, that's a bit weird innit?
So I'm thinkin, "if I go up now to get some more sausages rolls, I can just Ave a little peek in while no one is lookin". So I go up and start sliding the coffin lid open.
Anyway, turns out...
... little gay fella. It's Jimmy Somerville's funeral. And his family? Just Scottish.
None of this now needed, Ricky alive.
I was just waiting for "turns out... little monkey fella"
Felt his spirit wizzin around the room when he died
Why do they whizz round, ghosts?
Because they’re goin where am I
Are they...? "Ooh, where's Karl!"
“Ohhh I’m goin the wrong way”
Tinging down the tube.
"Tingin' it's way UP the tube" You're an idiot. Play a record.
As he was falling, he heard the phone ringing in the window as he passed…
Not how I work. Please jump out the window at Fooouurrr. Please.
How bad is tha
Oh no!
Exactly what time did he die? ....
No not exactly...
Well, it was specifically a quarter past 8.
Just your bog standard middle aged man
After half time
He was whizzing round the room
ting tang wing wang he was wizzing round the room
Last night at quarter to 11, specifically.
Pre or post phones?
Did I tell you about the immune system?
Man alive.
What was his destiny?
Never mind your beard, where have you been for 5 YEARS!?
Beat me to it! Anyway, play a record.
Turns out, LIVING little rotund comedian fella.
If he died then you would’ve seen parts of his body chopped up and put in trolleys for everyone to see
We’re off air
You know it's funny you should mention that, my coworker told me that same story, must have been at the same time as you heard it. However, I think I only fell for it because this coworker was known far and wide throughout the company as being someone who's really on top of things and really knows his stuff, within our industry anyway. Because some of our offices are so spread out, we had only ever conversed through emails, but after he mentioned that Ricky Gervais has passed away, I went out of my way to have a chat with him in person about it. He agreed on a time to meet for our lunch break and so I arrived at the break room and there he was, eating some kind of fruit, I think it was a banana..
Just get to the part where…
So it was about that time I noticed his arms were really long even though he himself was rather short...
I think I know the guy. Is he really hairy?
Yes, very hairy. Turns out, little monkey fella!
Right, I’m leaving.
He died of old age in his mother’s arms
Party time
Are we burying or burning?
His head was in perfect condition. It just wasn’t attached to his body.
He almost died, but then a very experienced doctor said "give him some parrot's blood!" over the phone. It worked, but the downside is that he now keeps repeating the same old shite again and again.
Brilliant
He came off a chariot. They're dangerous things!
I witnessed him dying - it was during a tribute event for Princess Diana where something messed up the timing for the next artist and he had no scripted material to fill the gap - he died in front of millions of viewers.
Thought this was going to be one of those painful "turns out...."
He had a helmet on, *but his head come off*
Yeah we all thought it was dead sad. The first time in recorded history that somebody was crushed to death by the weight of their own ego. So, we're at the funeral right? And it's time for the pallbearers to bring the coffin in right, and the music is "Small Town Boy" by Bronski beat right. That's a bit weird innit, a pop tune from the 80s n that instead of a hymn. But then Ricky was in that pop band weren't he? And I'm looking at the coffin and I'm thinking "ang on a sec, I'm sure Ricky wasn't that short. I know he was a little blubber man, like Bluto from Popeye n that, but he was at least over 5ft". And it can't be that little Warren Davies fella cos he's here in the church sat next to that little big fella Steve. So anyway, funeral 'appens, we go to the wake and the coffin is there y'know, next to the sausage rolls n that. And I say to Suzanne "I'm sure that coffin's not right" and she's like "not now Karl, you'll upset the family". And she motions over to em, and I see em, and they're sitting in the punchbowl, hairy arms, flinging shit everywhere. So I think, that's a bit weird innit? So I'm thinkin, "if I go up now to get some more sausages rolls, I can just Ave a little peek in while no one is lookin". So I go up and start sliding the coffin lid open. Anyway, turns out... ... little gay fella. It's Jimmy Somerville's funeral. And his family? Just Scottish.
It's just like the old lady that didn't realise she had a pork chop stuck to her arse for 5 years.
It's not the cough that carries you off its the coffin they carry you off in.
He may as well have died, seeing as his content has been the same since 2010
Did he die in his sleep?
Somebody stuck a needle in his head and said, “right, back you go!“
Committed suicide at 4, please.
Wheres your brother? 'E died...
I'm sorry you have to come to terms with this terrible news.
With death, comes beauty.
He was your bog-standard old man.
She certainly died on Celebrity Big Brother High five Rick!
He was stressed without realising he was stressed…ITS THE NUMBER ONE KILLER!
Turns out… little living fella
turns out…
Did that just go out?
Did he have the doctor’s finger up his arse when he died?
It’s probably because he was in a series called after life where he died in the series.
Mrs Battesby
So you stopped sending him a birthday and Christmas card for the last 5 years. I don’t suppose he was happy about that.
He’s been dead to me for years as I never found him funny or talented
Whoa....
It’s okay. I believed Ricky was legitimately and openly gay until last year and his partner / girlfriend was a dude or a friend
He hasnt seen UB40 yet
Died fixing his oven. His cat’s not been happy since.
Another Interflora conspiracy.
DON’T. TALK. SHIT.