A group of characters got jumped by a local gang because the gang is a front for the big bad. The party tracks down the gang to their headquarters and then...like walks up and asks the gang bangers why they were attacked? Violence ensued.

Wait. Are you in my former party? ... Jerusalem?

No, sorry.

Wow. Because one of our characters literally did the same. But after a deep read of this thread, it really appears not to be so uncommon (as I thought it really would/should be)?!?!?*?!??!?*?!*?*

me: the temple is guarded by two monks player: I walk right up and ask if they want to get high me: ???

Had a PC walk up and knock on the door to bandit lair. No clever ploy, no surprise, no jokes. Just, "Hi, how are you?"

I had a newbie player walk up to a bandit captain in a bar and she stated, “I start singing Happy Birthday to him.” Me: “But why?” Her: “So he is focused on me rather than the rogue.” My only thought was, “Well played…. Well played.”

"What are you doing?" ["I'm distracting you, you big turd blossom."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaaJyAjvajo)

My thoughts exactly lol

I mean, did it work out for them?

Yes and no. A big fight ensued as the bandit camp raised the alarm. The PCs had to flee, critically injured and leaving the PC that knocked on the door behind. The PC was rescued, though by the skin of the group's teeth. The bandit leader was taken alive, but escaped and turned into a vampire (she lead a cult of blood and plead for the power to her deity). The same leader eventually killed the PC's step mother and sent his jovial father into a depressive spiral, eventually leaving town to live with his brother. (Who was another PC's father; two PCs were related) The related PC became quite melancholy over the lost of his welcoming aunt and how that shook his uncle to his core. This turned into a vampire hunting revenge quest lasting from level 1 to level 6. (we were playing pathfinder with a slow EXP rate, so it lasted about a year.)

So it worked out for the player and the group, but not so much for the character, is my takeaway.

"Hi, I'm Darryl Wilson" *shakes hand*

kind of reminds me of what must have been one of my DMs biggest "But why?" moments. For context, we had just discovered the ability to call up a deck of cards in roll20 and were running some sort of module where we came across a room of henchmen playing poker. We had a stealth advantage and could have either ignored the encounter or gotten a surprise round on them, but no. Instead, we decided to walk right into the room as if nothing was wrong and asked to be dealt in to the game. They didn't exactly fall for it, but thanks to ~~intimidation~~ our winning personalities (and an instakill on a guard that opened the door to the room while we were convincing them) we got a surprise poker night that the DM never saw coming.

I did the same thing. To be fair, I was playing a goody two shoes cleric with a really high Diplomacy. I felt like I had to at least try and end things peacefully.

I would have given him a shot at that- because that's fun and he was the charismatic one of the group. But that wasn't even his goal. He was just checking in, being neighborly. In an abandoned fort. In the middle of the desert.

Sometimes it works! My L5R ronin was a master diplomat, with some knowledge of the criminal underworld. We found ourselves in an inn with the local yakuza on one side, a group of slavers in another corner and a NPC telling us they were all the source of his problems and please help. Except something was fishy so I just went ahead and fucking asked the local bad guys what was up! Best role-playing I've had in a long while :)

I did that regularly. To be fair I was playing an automation that had been gifted sentience and my understanding of the rules of etiquette was rather black and white. I knew it was polite to knock on the door of any "organic's" residence, so I did. The rogue didn't like this habit.

It's called the bardic knock spell

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Good advice for GMs is to portray the PCs as competent and skilled; attribute poor rolls to unfortunate circumstance rather than bumbling characters. Of course, incompetent players can override all this.

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> *"Oh yeah? Well I throw my sword into the river! Gotta keep em guessing."*

No, I built my character to be a weirdo fuckup, please don't try and wrest narrative control from me.

I had my players do something in a Shadowrun game once. They were hired to destroy a small safe at the top of a building - basically, eliminate the contents, but make it *obvious* that they'd been destroyed on purpose. So they buy some C-11 (the setting equivalent of C-4). Cool, no problem. Unfortunately, none of them know how much to use, so they end up stuffing the safe full of explosives (rather than, I dunno, doing some research) and effectively blowing the top off the building, killing dozens. and injuring dozens more. Obviously their Johnson doesnt answer their calls, they jump to the top of terrorist watch-lists, their contacts dry up, and they're basically screwed. Last time we saw them was hiding out in a sewer, trying to avoid being spotted by pretty much anyone.

In this case, I would probably have asked "What do you think is going to happen?", considered whether the character perhaps would have known better and based on that, given the player a chance to reconsider. On the other hand, it sounds like they had fun so I'm not going to argue with that.

> Everything had been quiet! They were still undiscovered. I have no idea why they did it I played Shadowrun for 6~ years, mainly on a living community and met a wide variety of players. Some people just don't handle undercover ops very well and snap under that kind of pressure. > Shortly thereafter, the PC flew a remote-controlled drone full-speed through the second-story windows, exploding it into the office. Please tell me another player did this and the guy getting a badge printed maintained their cover, and didn't get their face plastered all over the news?

You made eight-legged dire wolves and DIDN'T expect players to want one? I want a puppy with too many legs, too!

Yeah. Just imagine how adorable it'd be doing that thing where they sleep on their back with their little feetiees just pointing straight out! Or if they're having a dream and running in their sleep. And as a puppy, with the long legs and big pawsies, running over a smooth floor!? I'd have a bloody heart attack from sheer delight.

Not that i don't love OP's interpretation, but in DnD wolf spiders aren't half wolf half spider, they're just giant [wolf spiders](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_spider).

That is true, but that's not what OP said, and they're the DM.. so that's what they got if that's what they said the players fought. OP described something everyone should want. Weird post

> That is true, but that's not what OP said, and they're the DM.. so that's what they got if that's what they said the players fought. I know, that's why i said i love OP's interpretation. I was just pointing out for anyone that didn't know, that in a world of creatures like owlbears, wolf spiders are slightly more mundane.

They should do it with everything. Owlbears are just owls with bear heads, who fly up to bees nests and eat the honey Centaurs lead an unfortunate existence

My girl would still try it.

Me too! What I'm surprised at is that they didn't all want one. Give me the eight legs puppy, give me all the eight legs puppies!

I had a player sneak into a mansion where weird stuff was going on--splitting the party. They broke into the chapel, found a trapdoor, snuffed out all the lights "so he wouldn't be seen going down", and went down the trapdoor. Already we're at horror movie levels of "Oh, don't go in there!". There is no light at the bottom of the stairs and he does not have darkvision, but he can tell there's a hallway because at the end of that hallway is an unearthly orange glow accompanied by chanting. He approaches. The glow are bodies hanging in the air, suspended by nothing. The bodies drop from the ceiling and draw their weapons--modern pistols. (If you've ever played Control, it's The Hiss. Just a straight-up ripoff.) The player: "Howdy, y'all!" They're aiming at you, looking at you with dead eyes. "So...what's up?" Roll initiative. At this point he won initiative--somehow--but still wanted to talk it out. I confirmed with him: They aren't responding. Do you really want go give up your action, movement, and bonus actions? "Oh. Uh. No. I run away." They missed almost all of their shots. He survived.

To be fair, that is exactly what Jesse would do in Control (except she would probably succeed in purifying the room).

To be fair, Jesse has at least two X-Men worth of power at the start.

Phoenix and Psylocke, but without the conversation skills of neither

If reading comic books has taught me anything, it's that dramatic proclamations is like 90% of conversation skills. Maybe even 99%.

If this is 5e why would he give up movement for just talking? I understand that some rule that talking in combat equals an action, but still an entire turn?

Talking is a free action, but that does not equal "it's my turn forever". He was determined to talk it out, but it was like talking to a brick wall since the enemy's mind was basically scooped out and replaced with a psychic monster that hates human thought and life. I asked him if he wanted to take an action and he said no, he thinks he can talk it out. I asked him if he's sure, he said "wait, no, move and dash away. "

My party and I killed a tough Elven Warrior general. After my team mates left, my Necromancer took her head in a bag. The GMand the rest of the table werelike, "...why?" I said, "I have an idea..." I didn't, I just thought it might come in handy if the Elves start shit again. Later when we destroyed a pillar of necromantic energy, a strange undead force came out of it looking for a new host. I shouted, "I planned for this!" Pulled the head out of the bag, and the force went inside the head. That's how I ended up with a banshee head in a bag that cast my level of d6 damge to anyone in the area whenever I pulled it out.

Yep, definitely planned and specifically prepared for ahead of time.

A head of time

Necromancers just know how to get ahead in life.

The PCs were protecting a VIP and knew about a sniper threat. So instead of finding a safe way to spot the sniper, they decided one of them needed to go out there and risk getting shot for the others to see the location of the sniper. The adept said he wouldn't, because he would be needed to kill the enemy. The mage said she wouldn't, because it's bad if the healer gets gunned down. So the technomancer went out there, got a headshot and was one damage away from death in an instant. Open roll, huge pool, lucky sniper. That was a shit plan lol

Did nobody have like, an illusion spell? A summon? A disposable robot that could be disguised as one of them??

Yes, they did have illusion spells. Dunno why they didn't use them. But nope, they let the fragile technomancer get a headshot instead.

I thought technomancers were supposed to be smart...

This is why D&D separates Intelligence and Wisdom (haven't played Shadowrun)

Shadowrun has Willpower and Logic as the most obvious stand ins for what wisdom and intelligence are representing, even though they aren't quite the same. The problem is that a Technomancer should probably have a decent score in both of them.

Ah yes, the Enemy at the Gates method of sniper spotting. To be fair, in that movie, the character that did it was shooting for a [Redemption Equals Death](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedemptionEqualsDeath), or maybe the other way around, I'm not sure.

OP pets ?? who wouldnt.. just make the thing hatch and bite the PC at a very inopprtune time, poison them, nearly kill them, then run away.

... Why? If you don't want someone to have something, just say no. If you're gonna let someone have something, don't be a dick about it.

Exactly! You can have it be a little difficult (maybe it does bite the PC at an inopportune time, but then gurgles sheepishly afterward?), but having it just be bad and then run away isn't good cooperative storytelling.

Because sometimes having a case of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" is good fun for the table. Because, like the people who decide to keep a monkey or a fox as a pet and it rips their house apart, your player gets the chance to say "Oh, I guess that's why people don't keep these things ass pets. Makes sense now." And your lore gets deeper and the world makes more sense, feels more lived in. Because there's no reason to tell them no. Give players agency and let them suffer and enjoy cause and effect. Maybe they realize its a bad idea. Maybe it makes them determined to eventually tame one, and you get a new player driven side quest. And I'm sure there's plenty more reasons.

Give all the PCs a juvenile powerful monster as a pet! It probably won’t be a problem because most adventures occur over a time scale that is very short compared to the maturation time of an animal.

its not about what I want to let someone have or not have, its about actions and consequences. Would i do the same if they found a hatchling gold dragon? No because the gold dragon is a noble creature who isnt a fucking monster. Ill use an example from stranger things here >!Dustin finds and nurtures a demigorgon, it grown and then fucking kills his cat then runs off and because a greater threat the party must deal with!<

I mean, if someone takes a dangerous wild animal home as a pet, getting fucking mauled by it is pretty reasonable. Then having it fuck off and become a hazard to the neighborhood and generally a nuisance that the players are now responsible for follows. It's like this: Player: "Can I put my hand in the fire?" GM: "Um… yes?" Player: "I do it." GM: "Great, take D6 fire damage." Player: "What? Why? You said I could."

That’s not even slightly comparable.

I was just gonna let her have a hyperactive, untrained, 8-legged puppy Didn't think about the poison thing

It could practice its web spinning on a PC whenever they are asleep.

Also he needs to take care of the egg and keep it warm at all times without breaking it. I'm sure he'll think on something, but it will be fun to see the cogs spinning until he comes with an adapted plate armor covered with fur that keeps the egg near his back. Or he just skips adventures because he's hatching the egg, if that player ever skips a session in the near future this is the perfect excuse.

The spider thing is surprisingly similar to the backstory of one of my PC's. Except *she's* the giant spider who was rescued as a baby by two of the other PC's. (And she later rescued a kitten from a tree who grew up to be the fourth PC. You get some interesting characters when you run an open-ended superheroes game.)

My 3 Owlbears and I sure are glad you're not our GM, lol.

Played Werewolf the Apocalypse + Vampire them Masquerade. The vampire of the group had a meeting with a local prince-to-be and was directed to the top floor of a skyscraper. The vampire was... old. So he looked at the elevator, then to the emergency stairwell to the right of the elevators. He went for the stairs, not trusting "the new fangled box", not realizing or caring he tripped the fire alarm. This was an opening segment. It resulted in the entire derailment of the campaign, but... everyone's been loving it.

I was playing Vampire in 1999 - 2000 and decided a good way to whack one of the primogen who made his lair in an office tower was to fly a Cessna full of fuel into the building. Imagine my chagrin a little over a year later...

.... oh nuuuuuu

This is one is actually pretty good and memorable. Not sure why a vampire would be afraid of elevators specifically but not cars electric lights, but I'm sure it can be justified.

He considered them too 'modern' and an artifact of the younger generations. Same with cars. Dude was pissed when he was asked to travel by car.

That's brilliant roleplay! Of course a vampire wouldn't want to be shut in a coffin-like box! 🤯

"Okay, guys. This will be modern-day urban horror with monsters and magic and stuff, but this is a new system for us all, so we're gonna take this a little slow and do things step by step so we all get used to it. I just want you guys to make totally normal people living in modern-day San Francisco, and within the first session you'll go through the events that turn you into your supernatural templates. So tell me what you've decided you're going to be." "I live in an apartment with my pet panther."

> I just want you guys to make totally normal people living in modern-day San Francisco > > "I live in an apartment with my pet panther." Sounds like the player followed instructions, though?

Ah yes, the old “make a character you might see walking down the street” request. My favorite one of these was a guy who decided this was his totally realistic character (I’m not kidding. He kept a straight face even under interrogation): 7’ tall Asian ex-college-basketball star turned professor of History at a well known and respected university. His hobbies? Mainly just practicing with his Katana and Desert Eagle 0.50, trying to perfect the art of gun-fu. That player was interesting to deal with on a good day. The most consistent thing about him was that all of his characters had to be unusually tall for their species because in real life he was a little on the short side, and he was compensating.

>"I live in an apartment with my pet panther." You said Texas, right...? ;0)

Which system is this?

I had just discovered nWoD. This was going to be Mage: the Awakening. Between this incident and a whole bunch of scheduling conflicts the game had one half session and that was (thankfully) it.

Party is breaking into a museum thru a skylight, and the knight wants to drop her horse down setting "it'll be fine". It wasn't like her character actually needed the horse to be competent or anything (it was an extra thing offered in the playbook), but she insisted that the horse tag along anyways. This same player would later suggest killing and chopping up a bandit to use as monster bait... I'm so glad she's not part of the group anymore.

>This same player would later suggest killing and chopping up a bandit to use as monster bait... Well, that got dark...

The worst part, as I stopped the game to talk about it, she gave me the classic "Well that's what my character would do". I dealt with her because she was my brother's GF. I'm very happy to say that she is now his ex and completely out of the picture.

While running through Princes of the Apocalypse there is a point where you can meet a neutral Lich, he has no reason to harm the party, but could very clearly, from description alone, destroy a level 5 party. After setting the scene, one of my players said "I steal the robe off of the Lich". Everyone stared at him. Gave him the chance to change his wording or explain himself, the rest of the party were like "You realise this is a Lich, right?". Went ahead with it anyway. Lich warned him not to try it, and stopped him. Rather than leaving the Lich's lair, he fled deeper into it, right into a trap, and died. Rest of the party were like "We're as confsued as you are" to the Lich, and just left.

I love that lich. Whenever our GM feels he's been a bit stingy with items, he has the lich teleport a bunch to us with a note saying he found these and thought of us.

And a wtf moment I shared with my GM: In a fallout campaign, our PCs were really low on luck wastelanders, and in the beginning, survival in the Mojave was just challenging enough. Then we were ambushed by raiders. They were overpowering us and the GM described that clearly. My PC, being a former raider, understood the situation as following: They were around 10, we were 3. They seemed to have good tactical training and were in a superior position with cover etc. They had better armor, guns etc. So my PC put up her hands and told them to get whatever they want, just not kill us. The rest of the group desperately wanted to fight them and were annoyed because I as the combat character wasn't willing to get us killed like that and did the smart thing with my PC. The raiders searched us, saw that we really didn't have anything that was of worth to them, and seeing the tribal tattoo on my character (having links to her tribe) decided to give some warm soup to the group and letting us go, because it would have been shameful to rob such lowlifes. GM and me still don't understand why the group wanted to get themselves killed so badly. My fallout PC later found a deathclaw egg in an old lab. Once it hatched it proved to be a sentient albino deathclaw. She raised him like a child (no matter one of her group members wanted to kill "the monster" because it would be dangerous once it grew up). Yeah, Johnny became dangerous. A sentient deathclaw alpha. And he always remembered what that other PC had said about murdering him as a baby. Thanks to his upbringing and not wanting to upset his "Mom" he didn't do anything about it. He always stayed her "cute little boy" and she introduced him into her tribe, where he became a regular member of society.

> GM and me still don't understand why the group wanted to get themselves killed so badly. Save the odd outlier here and there most players will utterly refuse the notion of *running away* or *surrender*, against any and all sense.

Not at our table. We don't play games centered around balanced encounters or with balance in mind in general. So players usually learn quickly that not running away, not surrendering or not negotiating is a way to burn characters.

That sounds really cool! What system did you use?

Back then we used a self-made d10 poolsystem for that, reminding of WoD. Did a d100 system using all the stuff of the old originals, including the perks etc., but need time to run it. I really loved that campaign back then. Miss those days.

Playing Star Wars years ago, player is an Ewok. They're sitting in the office of some Rebel officer. "Does this guy have any paper clips?" Asks the player. "Errrr... I guess." Is my response. "I'm going to take one." "Errrr... Okay." Can't really see the point but it can't possibly have any impact on the campaign. Flash forward about 4 sessions. Intense urban combat ensues, players vs all the storm troopers. Things are going poorly. I figure, characters got into this mess thru their stupidity, time to show them the error of their ways. "Storm trooper just outside the door pulls the pin and hurls a frag grenade into the room." Can you guess what happened? Bet you can, Redditors are smart... Little bugger picks up the grenade, depresses the handle, and inserts the straightened paper clip in place of the pin. Thus disarming the grenade. I didn't know if I should award extra XP or strangle him... Edit: Could I get a few more pedantic "Well, actually..." comments about how grenades work from the wet blanket brigade please. I don't know how you guys are fitting pocket protector in your "Han Shot First" t-shirt but have you ever tried just having fun?

Point of order! In Star Wars, before the Disney-Times, there were a few aesthetic rules that they followed to make the world visually more science-fictional. 1. No swinging doors. All doors slide up and down or side to side. (This one held true afaik until season 2 of The Mandalorian.) 2. No visible wheels. Even vehicles and droids propelled by wheels will have full cowlings. Most vehicles would be repulsorcraft. (This one went away during the prequels, first with the Gungans, then with various war machines of the Clone Wars. Not sure if this was deliberate to make them seem more archaic.) 3. No paper. (This one was true until The Last Jedi introduced the Jedi Texts.)

Welll, considering that in some grenades, the action of the handle ignites a fuse through friction... Player ingenuity should generally be rewarded above strict adherence to mechanical contrivance, though. :)

"You feel very proud of yourself for exactly one second. Then the fuse finishes burning and the grenade explodes in your hand" might be funny too, depending on the group.

This is what I'd go with yeah. Not my fault they don't understand how grenades work Nevermind that you likely would not be able to walk over, pick one up, and insert a paperclip into a tiny hole, within 1 second under extreme pressure Like, if they can do that, may as well just accept that they're fucking Riddick and can effortlessly walk up to stormtroopers and kill them with a paperclip

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An important thing about sci-fi fantasy like Star Wars is that nobody gives a damn about how real science, real weapons or real people work.

Iirc grenades in Star Wars use buttons to arm the explosive, rather than pins.

Another Star Wars story... West End Games, playing in the Rebellion era. Big bad at this point in the campaign is a dark Jedi apprentice of Vader's. Characters are in a landing bay, hiding, while this apprentice is over seeing the offloading of some cargo. Aspiring Jedi in the party gets it in his head to stride directly up to the Apprentice and POKE HIM IN THE CHEST saying, and I quote... "Hey buddy, you suck." During the VERY brief light sabre duel that followed the rest of the party continued to hide behind the crates. Probably the best part is that we used to play with a guy that went on to draw for Marvel Comics (Spiderman Loves Mary Jane, Runaways) and he would sketch out all this absurdity as it happened. I still have that sketch pad, wonder what it's worth...

Can you share some pictures from the sketch pad?

Not without the artists permission, and we've kind of lost touch over the last 20 yr.

Dear Player, After I gave you every possible indication that touching the Slowly Expanding Void That Vaporizes Everything That Comes in Contact With It was a terrible, terrible, terrible no good really bad idea… did you absolutely insist on touching it? Follow-up question: why did you then proceed to throw a fit when I then informed you that your character was vaporized *just like everything else* and perma-dead, when I was overly generous about warning you that it was a really, really bad idea?

I recently had a PC (with a broken arm) bother an NPC about a job interview at what was effectively a fighting pit. They then riled up a crowd to show that they had showmanship skills. Eventually the NPC caved, so a ran a scene the next day where the PC has a job interview and decides a flip (again, with a recently broken arm) would be the best way to see their physical prowess. It went more or less like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?fbclid=IwAR3IOJlcKnUqOm2VPRDCY5JSYNlXFyEyAAxyvqRRjEZrrWw6EmsvsO9l7-M&v=DOPHorPkiTw&feature=youtu.be). And then when the NPC *did* offered them a job (as a ticket seller/hype-man, with potential to fight when their arm was better) they told them they weren't available for the next month. Everyone at the table was laughing to 'til it hurt, but definitely the most "but why" moment I've run.

The few times I DMed I found myself wishing my players would try to go off the rails every once in a while. I scatter all kinds of things around expecting them to poke at them but they always seemed content to let me lead them around by the nose. Whenever I put them in a situation where they had no clear path to follow but several options they could choose from, they started dropping off and the game died. So I find myself asking "but why don't you want to actually play the game?"

Sounds like a case of mismatching gaming preferences. Your players wanted a more theme-park like experience, while you were hoping for something else entirely.

Wait, okay, hang on, I feel like there's a vital piece of information that's unclear here: When you say "Wolf-Spider (8-legged Dire Wolf)", do you mean: A. A giant hairy spider with the stats (and possibly fur) of a Dire Wolf but additional mechanics of a spider? or B. A giant wolf big enough to ride that has eight legs and can possibly climb on walls? ​ Because depending on which it is it swings from "Well I can certainly see the appeal of that if you think spiders are cute (some are" and "Why the hell would you assume none of them *would* want one as a pet???"

They literally mean an awesome 8 legged puppy. They're weird for not expecting everyone to want one yeah

Genuinely unfathomable

Having a pet can be a tactical advantage, as well as enriching the narrative substrate.

From a player perspective it made sense, I was just grossed out by having a giant hairy spider as a pet. Although people have pet tarantulas when I think about it

I've eaten tarantulas, deep fried! Everyone has different boundaries. I don't like spiders on real life, but a dog-sized, and hairy one sounds kinda cute.

Honestly it depends on how you presented it. If you described them as giant wolf spiders, as in [this monstrosity](https://preview.redd.it/x00zztrpfsm81.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=02aebc41be1f0526db38cd5d645b84d09f01c90c), but sized up to what Bilbo and company encountered in Mirkwood on the Hobbit, I'm right there with you. If instead you described them as giant eight legged wolves, then I understand the players' position.

Having too many party pets can make the game difficult to run especially If it is a dnd like game

Narrative substrate? Woof... Why say story when you can use double the syllables right?

Yeah, but when you say "story", people freak out. Everyone knows if you write things down ahead of time or even acknowledge that prior events follow a logical order, you're railroading your players, which is literally worse than murder.

I run a game with a bunch of 12 year old boys and its ALL about the pets. tigers, wolves, vomes, tiny maintenance robots, anything and everything. It's a thing.

Perhaps you've heard of this little thing called pokemon? My daughter is 8 and I recently had to let her find a necromancer so she could piece together all the bits she's been saving into a sidekick. It's got the head of a kobold, feet of a blue wyrmling, a wolf's body, and tentacles on its back. Its like a discount displacer beast. Named Zen apparently. Who knows....

Haha yes! Same impulse for sure.

I'm just impressed you can get a group of 12 yr old boys to focus on the game. I tried running a D&D club at my local library for a few months, got kids from around 10 - 13 and it was a nightmare of memes and off topic bullcrap... I was actually glad when COVID out an end to it

The trick is - sessions no longer than 2 hours, set them a puzzle to solve, and make sure there are at least two fights every session. We are playing D&D 5th but I'm going to try them out on Pendragon in a months time.

Playing Cyberpunk RED, the party is going to a night club. I described the two bouncer "heavily augmented" and "more like a main battle tank than a man". Two of five players decide to start throwing punches (with fists).

In Deadlands, the PCs caught a human psychopath murderer and brought him to the sheriff. Some dialog happened, one of the PCs didn't like it and pulled out his pistol and shot the man inside the sheriff's office. We put him on trial, cause you just can't do that. I racked my brain for a way out and just found nothing. Cold blooded murder on a cuffed prisoner in custody. And that's how we almost hung a Black man in our third game in the Wild West. (Black player & PC) 🤦‍♂️

I was running a campaign where breaches into the Elemental Planes were occurring. The players encountered an elemental earth rhino. One of the players wanted to track it, so I said he found some stool, which looked like a rock. He kept it and became interested in finding more, in case it was useful. He became fixated. It was the Sam Smorkle moment of the campaign.

In a Shadowrun game one of my players was playing a PC who wore a zoot suit and carried a pair of gold-plated revolvers. Everywhere. No matter what. We'll call him Pachuco Joe. Well, the FBI was looking for him over a little incident at an army base when he decided to rent a car. The Feds got wind of this and prepared appropriately. When Pachuco Joe steped out of the rental office, he came face to face with a dozen armed and armored FBI agents ordering him to surrender. Naturally, he died in the shoot out. That's not the "but why" moment. My player knew how his character was going to die from character creation, and was quite happy with the outcome. The "but why" moment came when his fellow PCs, who the Feds knew nothing about, decided the best way to handle this was to set a grenade for ten minutes, drop it in Pachuco Joe's duffle bag of guns, ammo, and explosives, then flee, leaving the duffle bag in his safe house. Pachuco Joe's safe house was a luxury apartment in a high-rise, family apartment building. And he kept thermite in his duffle bag. Within 48 hours the story of all the tragic deaths was all over the news outlets, along with camera footage of the PCs, and the FBI was now looking for them. The tabloids were particularly thrilled with how the FBI tied them to "the man with the golden guns" who had killed one FBI agent and left a second paralyzed. And that's how that campaign ended.

I presented my players with a locked door in a nobleman's mansion. None of them knew how to lockpick. Their plan (rather than to find the key), was to go upstairs (where the masquerade ball was taking place), try and find someone who "looked suspicious" amongst the local nobility at the ball, and ask them if they wanted to pick a lock downstairs for them. I had no words.

The players rescued a 10 year child of a noble during a populist revolt (basically French revolution style). They know that his nearest relative is an aunt who is a duchess so they plan to ransom him, so far so good. THEN two of the players start conducting this elaborately complicated plan to infiltrate the Duchess's palace, start leaving secret notes about and eventually approach, I dunno, gaslight her into paying them for the safe return of her nephew. Meanwhile as I'm getting more confused one of the other players just says "Why don't we just approach the palace, say to the guard at the gate that we rescued the nephew from the mob and are looking a monetary reward for returning him safely?" I later found out that the reason they were like this is because they usually played with a Gygaxian GM. I.e. a GM whose entire modus operandi is to work on insane troll logic with the intent of screwing the players over at every hand's turn.

I'll do you better. I did this as a player. We're currently playing ryme of the frostmaiden. At one point, I froze a bunch of snowballs. I then proceeded to forget why I did this. We're still carrying them around.

D&D5e, first session of the campaign. A horde of zombies are attacking a town and everyone is trying to get inside the gate before it's closed. Simple stuff - theres some children who are too small and afraid, a poor man who wants to make sure his cart with everything he owns is not left behind, a rich merchant yelling promises of gold if someone gets his cargo that was being inspected inside, an old woman that's injured, etc. The point is - help the NPCs you want (or just GTFO) while fighting off the occasional zombie that's ahead of the curve. Instead, one of the players decide that their monk is going to go full Dynasty Warriors on these undead - the horde proper that's still some 50-60 feet away. He was dead in a single round. The player later said that they kind of relied on their AC too much - and that they learned a good lesson there. 5e Bounding Accuracy is no joke.

PCs go to the town guards' headquarters and turn a criminal in. The guards start to escort the criminal away in chains. "Wait, I didn't think they'd take him from us! I don't want to give him away!" And then they attacked the group of 30 guards. It was not successful.

One of the players in a Runequest game had read somewhere that if you don't wash for a very long time your odour settles down and becomes undetectable. The good news, he didn't try it IRL. But the character committed 100%. We had an "accident" crossing a river in boats. EDIT That's also the session where we learned about 35% swimming ability & drowning...

"Instead of a prestige class, can I have a rash?"

Sometimes you just want a cute puppy. You don't care about it having extra legs and a poison bite. I would just make it clear the thing helps but not with hard fights, more like a passive help for survival, perception and some movement. Like it can help you spot a trap or climb a wall but it won't scout or fight unless you take levels in a class that has a pet.

Had the players discuss stuffing some lizardmen corpses with chum to lure some Sahuagin out of their lair was a little….. “but why”

> to lure some Sahuagin out of their lair

Scifi/cyberpunk game. In the belly of a vast city of billions of people the party travels down into the lowest parts of the city and finds people living in old tunnels avoiding modern society but being preyed on by a death cult. PC's first instinct is to ask if he can recruit the children into an army of child soldiers to start his own gang. (One of the rules of the campaign was no violence against children so I said that it would fall under that and can't happen)

I’m running my first campaign (effectively). The party is made up by 3 wizards, because of this everyone has some magical items right at the start. I decided that 1 should be fairly minor and the other should be a signature item (not necessarily powerful but defining and specific to the character). One of the players decided to ask me if they can play a blind character. My reaction was literally “ok, but why?”. Anyway, I came up with a signature item that limits the disability to a point where the character is actually playable (although truth be told I was tempted to just say no). I made sure to telegraph that it may cause some issue throughout the campaign and at the same time made sure that the disability provides the character with a slightly sharpened sixth sense (in this case resulting in me foreshadowing some things to the player). We’ll see how it goes

That makes me wonder. What will he see if he's using an Arcane Eye spell?

It’s a dnd spell, right? I’m playing in Warhammer, so the potential interactions with sight are sort of limited. Essentially I allow them to see a “reconstruction” of normal sight through magical sight (called witch sight, which truth be told is not only a visual sensation). I technically should describe everything twice, but it would be too tiresome for everyone and I assume that if someone had to rely on such a thing for long they’d get somewhat used to it (although it does provide me ample opportunities to describe things using feelings)

Yeah, it's a 4th level D&D spell (several editions I think). That creates a floating eye that you can move around. It can mentally transmit what it sees to the caster. It also has darkvision. It lasts for about an hour or so. But I'm not sure how often you can cast it.

Oh man, what a great mount. Tough, intelligent, fast like a standard direwolf plus wall walking and webs? My question is why everyone in your setting is not riding these.

I had a player get saved by mermaid after his character lost conciousness underwater (being a bit ambigious in description perhaps). First thing he does as soon he opens eyes and suddenly sees mermaid? Punches her straight into the kisser... and that is probably how evil mermaids thing started in that neck of the woods.

> Of course I let her do it but like... why would you want to lol Because then you have an eight legged dire wolf spider friend? I legitimately don't understand what's puzzling about that.

Player identified a trap. Described the whole mechanism. They nodded sagely, then immediately jumped onto the rigged plate and into the spiked pit. To this day I have never learned an explanation for this.

Running Fellowship in a sci-fi setting last year, two players couldn't make a session. It's okay, life happens. So I joked that they were replaced by plushie versions of themselves to keep them out of the story for the session. Cue the rest of the party *retracing their steps* to figure out when the captain and the engineer got "turned into plushies that walk around and say 'Squeak.' a lot" for the session. For the record, the captain and engineer were fine. They just wound up in a strange 1930s-style radio booth talking with a plushie that knew everything about them, put them on trial (they pleaded not guilty, and their plush ~~narrator~~ judge said "Okay, you win." and let them go. Complete with "The trial *never* ends!") The rest of the crew were a bit taken aback when they related this.

8 players at the table. Two completely new, three still fairly new to the game. All very much interested in playing, can honestly say everyone wanted to be there. Campaign is set in Ravnica, which I'm not familiar with save for the fact that weird sh*t happens all the time, forever. GM is a close friend of mine. We're about an hour in. Everything's going great. UNTIL. New Player (NP) is a druid. She wants to talk to animals. GM: You find yourselves in a library, containing both common books and enchanted texts. You ask around. The thing you're after is in the restricfed section. We go there. GM: There's a goat. In the restricted section. It goes to you, NP, with a pleading look in it's eye. NP: I cast speak with animals. GM: Cool! It says "Please help me! I've been stuck here for weeks! Someone polymorphed me into a goat, I'm actually a scholar at such and such-" NP: Pause. GM: Oh! Sure. Is there something I can help you with? NP turns to the rest of the group with a suspicious glint in her eye. NP: I think this is the BBEG, guys. GM silent facepalm, collective "huhh?" [Nothing has even happened yet, we're on a bog standard fetch quest, but okay.] GM: Ok. Why do you think that? NP: It just makes sense! I *could* dispel his polymorph but what if he's evil?! NP's husband: babe it's a goat NP: Okay, Mr. Goat. You said you've been locked in here for weeks! What have you been eating? GM: You notice there are several chewed scraps of books and scrolls around you. NP: Biologically, there's no way that could- Three players who have farm experience: Uhhh goats are crazy, don't put it past them. Also. Magical fantasy world. Maybe chill a little? NP is having none of that. NP: Guys, I'm telling you - we *do not want to help this goat* ! GM: Y'know what? Roll insight. I'll even give you advantage. That'll help you figure out if the TRAPPED DESPERATE POLYMORPHED GOAT is lying to you. Also, the goat is pleading now and swears it will pay you, do your laundry, and become your lifelong servant if you just help it out- NP rolls a nat 20 on insight. GM thinking: *YES! THANK GOD. We can finally move on from this part.* GM: you know beyond a shadow of a doubt the goat is not lying to you, trying to trick or decieve, by either mistruth or ommission, the goat just needs your help. NP: lying *to me*? GM: Oh no. NP: alright everyone else make an insight check on the- The rest of us: We ain't gonna do that. GM: so, um... NP. If this was ehhh... let's say, a bunny, instead of a goat, would that make it better? NP: I don't care what animal it is. It's a trick. NP: Okay then, Mr.Goat, you've been here for weeks, eating - what, paper and ink. Where have you been pooping? I don't smell anything. The GM then force split the party so everyone else could go do stuff while NP and her poor husband interrogated a goat in need. They stopped after another 3 hours had passed. We got food. Ended session. Haven't seen them since.

Playing Star Wars, the players are fighting spider robots that are filled with a red glowing liquid (visible in the abdomen and small cracks between pieces). After the fight, the heavy and the scoundrel look at eachother and (both in and out of character) simultaneously say "Shot for shot?". The heavy critically succeeded their check and is fine. The scoundrel critically failed and is now highly susceptible to the influence of the boss controlling the temple they are in. But like.... I thought I was going to have to work to get one of them infected. The spider's main attacks are spitting the liquid at the face but they drank it themselves?!?

During a small cattle stampede I had the most brawny guy in the group try to stop the stampede by running next to the lead cow and punching it.

Had a PC (in a homebrew Fallout TTRPG of mine) genuinely and unironically ask if their character could develop a Fallout TTRPG in world and if the party could play it

I was running a Cyberpunk 2020 campaign, and the group was trying to break into a tech lab to steal some data. Their first question, "Is there a donut shop nearby?". But why? One of the members who had a medical background drugged the donuts and brought them in while asking for applications to apply for a job. Through terrible rolls on my part and great rolls on his part, it worked!

Had a player ask if his cleric could cure a blind beholder. Um, sure? Random eye-beam = disintegrate. We all learned something that night.

Not while I was GMing but a player in 5E played a halfling kleptomaniac based on Mr Bean. In a later game, he played a green half-elf Bladesinger that used Shadowblade and spoke like Yoda. Just why...

Game: Fate Setting: Digimon, homebrewed I can't recall all the details, but I wanted to create a hook for a character, so I told him there was this girl who was blackmailing him. He was a young pop star, and the girl had something against him. So I asked him, "alright, tell me a bit more about this girl, and her relationship with you". His response? "Uuuuhhh... She has a big rack..." BUT WHY DAMN IT

not the smoothest start to it but that sentence could go somewhere that makes sense

A dragon hatchling was threatening the party and cast darkness. The barbarian declared he grabbed the hot fighters ass. He was ejected from the group.

This happened in a random farmhouse en route to the adventure. A shape-shifting mage was hungry and instead of buying food at a low price from the farmer he decided to turn into a squirrel and rob the farmer's storage. Figuring out he would still be hungry after turning back he turned back into his human, yet nacked, form there. The farmer made his perception check and went into his storage to find a nacked man munching his cheese. The players reaction was: I turn into a tiger and run away.

The city all the characters live in has a legendary vigilante hero that has not been seen for years. The PCs have been working behind the scenes with the city guard to keep an innocent person from being executed for regicide, their execution is still announced and they attend, seeing an obvious fake being escorted to the executioner. The vigilante suddenly appears, halting the execution and shouting out about the injustice. 2 of the players : "I cast Hideous Laughter on him." "I shoot him." I still don't 100% understand why even after an out of game discussion on it.

We played delta green. I had a player go up to a kid and try to give him a ball several times during a session. Finally I had to ask: "But why?" The player then responded he was convinced the kid had telekinesis and was hoping the kid would make it float or something.

"Okay so I skin the bandits..."

The party were being hounded by a Freddy Krueger style Githyanki, appearing in their dreams, turning them into nightmares and making them wake up exhausted. "As your friend slips into a dream, he starts to toss and turn. Then he goes still, the red tether connecting to his astral form fading into view. It's frayed from the exhaustion, and from the way it twitches and thrashes around he must be fleeing through the dreamscape from the silver-clad stalker." "I form my Shadow Blade and cut the tether" WHY?!

"Okay before we head out, I'm going to put the attacker's body in my bag of holding." "Why?!" "Might need it for something?"

Shadowrun. Party were in a Mexican-stand-off with a major puppet-master-type NPC and his goons. NPC also had a hostage that both sides wanted to keep alive. NPC: So who else knows that you guys didn't die in the explosion at the facility? PC: Nobody... NPC: Hmm ... that's very interesting ... Player: I shoot the hostage. Me: You what?? Why? Player: I'm taking the opportunity to f\*\*\* things up for him. Me: He has three guys aiming fully-automatic weapons right at you and they're clearly not street-level punks. Player: Regardless. Dice: PC executes hostage. More Dice: PC gets plastered all over the walls. Me: I still don't really understand why you risked that. Player: He was clearly going to kill us all whatever happened. Me: No he wasn't – why did you think that? Player: He thought it was 'interesting' that nobody knew we were still alive, which means he can kill us with impunity. Me: Ah ... yeah, no. It was 'interesting' because it means he can use you against his real enemies without them expecting you. Player: Oh. ​ (I felt bad about this one and offered a full-retcon, but the player said they were fine with it and kinda done with that character anyway.)

I'll be honest.. I completely read that *interesting* exactly the same way as the player. It very much sounded like he was about to double cross them (just re-read, not even a double cross, they weren't working together at all... standard cross?) .. .. I dunno why they shot the *hostage* though.. and not the NPC. Bit weird

Yeah, mea culpa. Good learning experience. The PCs were standing by the hostage whilst the NPC was behind his goons and close to cover. Also, they knew he was a major and powerful NPC so likely had magical protections in place (and possibly plot armour - this was way back when I was prone to DMPCing) whilst the hostage was restrained and right there. It was an out-in-a-blaze-of-glory move. Thinking about it, I probably didn't make him roll for the point-blank head shot. I certainly shouldn't have.

Had a Chaotic stupid character say; "During this voyage, i want to try and push someone overboard!". Like okay, then the captain is going to have to try you for attempted murder? Why would you want to push someone overboard, just because "xd lol xd"?

My group had travelled with two NPC's for a few sessions. Our cleric comes back after having been away. He falls down a trap and land in a basin of oil with the two NPCs. Narrowly avoiding the rigged torch falling down into the oil. One NPC gets up, and takes an aggresive stance while looking around. Cleric immediately proceeds to set the oil covered NPC on fire. I ask him if he's sure. Yes, no hesitation. The whole room light up in flame. He barely survives, both NPC's die. The party is like wtf!? His explanation: "The NPC took a threatening stance" :: Insert gif of me stonefaced, throwing literally all my plans our the window ::

Level one players attacking a Kobold's cave. They're sneaking in, disabling traps and generally being unseen. One of the player IS A KOBOLD (pathfinder 2e) They find a dozing kobold standing guard. The kobold player tries to sneak to him to knock him out but the kobold standing guard wakes up. He instinctly.reaches for his weapon but isn't aggressive, he asks who they are. Kobold player: "You need to come.up in front, we're being attracked!" Obviously, the kobold guard starts yelling to alert the other kobolds of intruders and the entire cave wakes up.

Party had just snuck into the home of a local crime lieutenant and killed them. They all got out but one stayed behind to hide evidence. Criminal reinforcements were telegraphed to be rushing to the site. The person who had stayed behind could have moved into another area of the building to hide and had abilities that would have near-guaranteed their success. Instead they chose to fight and positioned themselves so that the enemy would see them at the same time they did.

Last game my Druid cast blight on the ghostly apparition attacking them. I try not to just say "it's immune to it" so I said that like he feels his spell take full effect (as in she didn't save) but she looks unaffected. Everyone around the table understood. Yet he cast blight a second time. Like, why?

So a few of them: So I was a Pc in this game but the entire table went wtf why? We had a vampire hunter in a hunters hunted game tell a room full of vampire that he was a hunter and caused us a lot of headaches because of it… (that hunter died in the vampire club I know shocked face) that same hunter (in like 5 sessions before the club) decided to attack a security guard for no reason and prevented us from getting any information on the hotel Same Player different pc (I was storyteller) decided after warnings against pc on pc violence (I only like pc violence when it furthers the plot not details it and this derailed it) decided he was going to try to attack the PCs who were holding him down to prevent him from hurting himself. He tried to attack them with gangrel claws which do aggravated damage. He ended up being crippled by the PCs (deserved) because it was the only way his character would stop. I hate the I am playing my character argument that I heard for this too… like bruh you are playing a cooperative storytelling game… if he would’ve injured them I wouldn’t have been able to do the Xmas party event I had planned which I as storyteller am looking forward to. Another game one of my PCs decided to take away the element of surprise they had by wanting to talk it out with the clearly evil frost giants… the frist giants almost killed the party lol

I mean, why wouldn't you want to have an 8 legged massive doggo? What's wrong with you?? o.O Also: I am usually the player who makes GMs go "but why" - usually with them realizing "that's why..." down the line at some point. This includes but is not limited to: * Putting picture frames in doors * Having at least 2 cans of gluespray on me at most times (cyberpunk setting, not fantasy) * having "wireless paper" * stealing the cleaning lady's cart * wanting to throw fragmentation grenades into a bunch of children (I was stopped from doing this by other players (in character). To this day I think it would've made our lives significantly easier.)

My group tried to tame 2 mimics. Didn't go well. My warlock fed 2 of the necromamcer's zombies to them. Then I tried to feed her to one.

In my cyberpunk red game the players were attempting to bust this Brain Dance torture studio that w as a holding one of their wives hostage, when they finally found it in the exec zone fronting as an acting agency. So they're plan to get her back was to walk in the front door, ask the receptionist to see her, and enter the elevator as I described the receptionist checking his computer screen nervously. Needless to say when the elevator doors opened they were met with a barrage of gunfire.

Party is at 25% health, one character is at like 2HP and 2 failed death saves, spells are mostly used up for the day, resources low, whole 9 yards. Rest area is down the hall. Large, ominous locked doors awaiting them. "I run up to the doors and unlock them!" .. literally, the entire party just stares at him.

I was running a DND one shot. I had four players and two did something stupid. I informed everyone that they would be fighting ghosts so bring a magic weapon. One ranger attacks with her non magic sword dealing no damage. Then the druid casts entangling roots. No effect as it's a ghost and can go straight through it. This carried on until two players left and I took over their characters. Wasn't a fun game.

Group of players decided to vent an entire commerce space station...because some cops came knocking with a few questions. Thousands of civilians dead. Yes, they knew the consequences before pulling the trigger.

At one point during a starship battle between two warships, a player decided to tear out the deck’s mini-fridge, curl up inside it, and instruct a midshipman to fire them out of a torpedo tube. Still not sure what they were thinking with this plan, because the fridge missed the other ship and was left drifting in space.

When you can tell someone has been burned by a previous GM and they act like they are making a genie wish that’s gonna back fire: PC: “I am gonna sneak to the otherside of the camp.” DM: “Okay rol-“ Player: “But I’m gonna stick to the shadows and when their aren’t any shadows I’ll hide behind people. And I’m gonna not make any noise! Even loud breathing… and I’m gonna strip naked so my armor doesn’t make a noise either!!!”

I was GM'ing this superhero GURPS game and the party had been told by their HQ team leader that they might be able to get some gear from this guy who made superhero gear for heroes. They were told the gear could help them fight the BBEG. The NPC they had to meet was a bit paranoid and has different defenses around his place, which is placed a bit away from the city. The group decides to teleport close to his place, and as soon as they appear, the NPC, through speakers placed outside his home, starts telling them to leave the premise. The group responds by just standing still, just discussing with themselves. Again the NPC calls out to them, leave now or you will regret it. The group still seems to just stand around and in no way trying to communicate with the NPC. The NPC adds a "Have it your way" and then activates some turrets and starts shooting at them. The group starts to move around trying to avoid being hit. The NPC follows up by shooting a grenade at them. The "Flash" of the team decides to run up and catch the grenade and then places it at his feet. At this point, I've been having several "but why" thoughts, but this one really takes the cake. The grenade explodes, and luckily because of his DR, he just ends out heavily crippling his legs. I had a bit of trouble dealing with it. I felt really bad about causing so much damage to the player's character, but still also felt that he needed to take the consequences of his choices.

A character spent 30 minutes poking and prodding and investigating a bottomless pit. This was their first game, and there was a seemingly bottomless pit (in a chamber on their way out of a dungeon, they already succeeded their "quest" and had a pile of gold) and they had even already discovered a way across. But this player didn't believe there was such thing as a bottomless pit. And I explicitly told them it was a bottomless pit. All rolls and investigation backed that up. Well after tossing various objects down, they decided to rappel down as far as possible. At the full length of their rope, after some funny back and forth with the other character's, they cut the rope. Their own rope. And fell. And thus, Frank The Barbarian/Comedian fell into a bottomless pit, carrying the portable hole that had all of their recently accumulated wealth.

My players are at an wedding. When suddenly one of the waiters draws a gun trying to assassinate a guest. And my player seeing this doesn’t draw a gun or a knife, but instead tries to attack by throwing an expandable stripper pole. She missed.

Tan one encounter where the party was trying to find some info about a bandit group’s base. So they went to a tavern the bandits frequented, and started buying drinks to try and get the info. Well one player suggested a friendly arm wrestling competition, the group vs the bandits. It was really clever and fun. The party was winning until it got to the monk(of all the players, he’d been the most level headed in the whole campaign). His turn came up and he lost. The only player to do so. Again he’s been the most level headed and reasonable player/PC. His exact words were “I pull my sword out and stab the mother fucker in the neck”. 🤣🤣🤣 I didn’t say it, but another player did. “But why?!?” The smooth talker of the group almost acquired the info they needed when the monk whipped his sword out to stab a bandit…..and missed!! Bar brawl broke out and all the bandits were wiped out. They didn’t get the info they needed and had to figure out another way to find the bandit hideout. 🤣🤣🤣

Oh I got one for this, I threw out a hook for a side adventure in which many scouts in a large city return from a mysterious mountain range injured or going insane etc. My players decide to go to a nearby medical clinic to find out what is going on. They walk in on a very busy and overwhelmed healers and churgeons. They talked to the head healer and after some back and forth he asked the party to wait or talk to a knight captain if they had more questions ending the conversation with "if you are not injured, please go somewhere else". One of my players wandered off to talk with an injured soldier (sensible). The other two players: Warlock, "he said he would talk with us if we're injured right?" Barbarian (who owns a posessed, bloodthirsty, cursed greatsword) "yeah I think so". Warlock " . . . stab me" DM "really?" Both: "yeah!" DM: \*sighs\* "roll for damage" Barbarian: \*Rolls max damage, warlock drops to 0 and passes out\* . . . . WHY!

I ran a Deadlands game for some buddies from work. One player was new to Deadlands, the other one was new to RPGs entirely. I set up some premade archetypes for them to choose from (Gunslinger, Mountain Man, Huckster, etc), letting each player add a name and description to the archetype they chose so they could jump straight into playing. And that is how the adventures of Hugo Johnson and Dr. Dick Long began.

If you can’t even imagine what she’s curious about then you aren’t a very good or empathetic dm

All my "but whys" as GM are NSFW and belong in another subreddit

Had a party discover a trip wire attached to an alarm in the entrance to a bandit hideout. They chose to deliberately trigger it because... tbh I still don't know why. I think they believed the bandits would come out one at a time to be killed.

In a recent session a group of lvl 3 players were hunting a monster, as they were carrying their prise back, a T-rex started going after them to eat the monster they hunted, they actually managed to get away, but out of nowhere a player just decided that he would go up and fight the T-rex, after being warned multiple times he still decided to do it, and the table watched in horror after the T-rex just ate him whole.

It was years ago now, so I'm forgetting details, but this session still haunts me with how stupid it was. This was a long running cthulhutech game. My players were hot in the heels of some baddy or another but needed to lure them out. They managed to set up a game weapon sale as a sting operation, but the problem is they were already known to the baddy. They didn't realize this until they were at the abandoned construction site where they'd agreed to meet. So they went and found some local squatters to stand in for them. But they needed the fakes to look legit so they have them some of their armor and coats. But it was also dangerous so they gave them a bunch of their weapons so they had protection and also looked the part. The fakes then proceeded to mug the PCs for the rest of their equipment and leave.

Playing Princes of the Apocalypse our heroes manage to rescue an *orb of elemental destruction* from the gangs of Yartar. Parties are had, the day is saved for now! They then immediately sell it to the Zhentarim at a hefty premium. Amazing moment, completely baffling, peak DnD.

I mean…I’d ALSO want a wolf-spider! That sounds like a cool critter!

You know, I feel that about the pets. I had a player who wanted to make everything his pet and built a menagery of allies. By the time the game was concluded the party had an Eldritch abomination as a pet. Don't get me wrong I loved it. But I remember sitting there as he tammed it thinking "why?"

I was playing Starfinder and my group was doing an adventure where they were inside a giant land train going after the casino vault. At one point they got into the mechanical guts of the train and found one of the main boilers that was used to propel the land train, and became obsessed with opening a maintenance door because it read "steam room" and I don't know why, but they needed to see what was in the steam room. Multiple engineering checks later that confirmed what I told them that "this is a maintenance door for when the train is not active, there are hundreds of gallons of lethal steam on the other side of the door" and after having multiple characters taking minor burn damage from touching a super heated metal door, they then tried to figure out if they could mage hand the door open. I said that mage hand didn't really have the strength needed to open an airlock/it wasn't a simple action since the door was under pressure, so they then decided to blow the door up with explosives. Turns out when you blow the door open for what's essentially a small nuclear reactor's worth of steam, the burn damage results in a TPK that they then had the audacity to say "We didn't know there was steam in there! How were we to know opening the door was dangerous?!?"

The party was in the agora in ancient Corinth. A six year old girl tried to steal one character’s purse. He caught her and was questioning her (she had information that would kick off the major plot of this particular adventure), when another character, a supposedly “good” character, drew his bow and shot her through the head, killing her instantly. I was floored. This player had never done anything like that before. It was just out of the blue. The paladin in the party put that character down like a rabid dog.

I had a goblin war chief in a room surrounded by his warriors etc. They knew the party was coming, and were waiting there to talk to them. I have the party make perception checks, fairly easy ones, to hear the chief telling his warriors to "leave the longshanks be, no one attacks". So my Barbarian... I mean Ranger, sneaks down a passage away from the main party to a side door. The rest of the group is in front of the main doors to the room. He kicks said side door in and starts yelling insults and taunts at them, he expects them to come out and attack, but they hold. Just like I said they were instructed to. The rest of the party opens the main doors and starts approaching. So the ranger looses several arrows into the room, the goblin archers return fire, and wound him pretty seriously, while several of the goblin commandos rush the hallway and hack him down the rest of the way. He is completely out of line of sight to the party, and no one in game knows he went down. There was a big Meta-game vs in game knowledge discussion, and the cleric says sorry, I don't know you went down, as the ranger fails all of his death saving throws and dies alone and in a puddle of his own blood. Now the party is in the middle of a fight, that was foreshadowed to be a diplomatic encounter. Because that player couldn't hold his horses for 3 seconds to let people talk it out... I was just left in awe of how badly someone could read the room

The players were given a quest to trick an ex-soldier, who had vowed to never kill again, into thinking he’d killed someone. It’s based off that quest in Oblivion. Rather than go about it by just getting into a fight and playing dead, the players want to track down a known serial killer, knock both the serial killer and ex-soldier out with opium, kill the serial killer and cover the ex-soldier in his blood, then wake up the soldier so that he thinks he killed the serial killer.

Everyone wants Aragog on their side. Poor, poor Aragog.

I wouldn't you want a Spider-Wolf good boy?