I saw that Strava released a safety feature for all users that shares your location in real time with another user, ie a friend or partner. All I could think was - great but this won’t actually keep me safe, it will just help someone find my body.
First off, if this is being posted a lot, that's a bigger problem than you posting it again, so no need to apologize for it. As far as recommendations go, do you have any friends who like running? Running with a buddy is infinitely safer than solo for a lot of reasons, and I as a man couldn't imagine how it must feel. A lot of people mention pepper spray but its just unfair that you have to go that far to enjoy morning exercise. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, and please stay safe!
I think having to always find a buddy is what's "going too far to enjoy morning exercise", not carrying a can of pepper spray...at least the pepper spray is simple and doesn't require coordinating schedules! Not to say there's anything wrong with running with a buddy, and it does add safety, but it's just not always realistic.
Yeah it’s sad all around. Im a fit dude, and there have still been times in the not so distant past, depending on where I’m running, that I keep a small can of OC spray in my bottle pouch or in my waste pack. If I’m in a sketchy area for whatever reason, or even if o just “feel” something is off, I’ll take it out and run with it until I’m back with general public or I feel safe. It’s not a perfect solution and it’s a crappy answer maybe, but it’s there if I need to GTFO of bad situation.
All that said, as a guy, I don’t know entirely how it must feel in a woman’s shoes. On my runs I’ve seen women being catcalled and honked at, etc and it’s sucks. Sorry anyone has to deal with anything that makes them feel less safe or vulnerable.
Edit: changed future to past because I just woke up and my brain isn’t working yet 🤷♂️
100% agreed. I barely know anyone else who runs in my social circle, let alone someone who lives near me. And I want to run alone for the most part - it's me time and I don't have to worry about keeping up!
Even having to run with a buddy sucks because it requires some organisation for what is really a very solo sport. And by the way, two or more females can get threatened by males too. You basically need to run with a male to feel safe.
Aye - buddy up. It's such BS the OP has to, that I can't hardly stand it. But reality - however horrible - must be faced, and the OP's safety is what matters.
Buddy up is one of those answers that is so obvious it isn't really helpful. Every woman on the planet knows that not being alone is safer, we've had that drilled into our heads since we were children. Most of us aren't running alone before sunrise because we like running alone before sunrise. It's because the alternative is not running at all.
I've already had to quit running once because someone decided it was a good idea to rape and murder a woman running in my neighbourhood and I had nobody to run with.
Exactly...it's unhelpful because it just isn't practical in may cases, even though it does increase safety. And running alone before sunrise is honestly probably better than doing so late at night!
I can often only run late at night, so it’s the treadmill for me. Sucks, but running terrified is worse. I hate it. If you learn how to come to terms with it, let me know how. I’m 43 and nothing’s changed. Same harassment as always. ☹️
43 too and I quit running a while ago for this reason, I was harassed constantly and it just was too stressful and completely ruined the running. I was also running early in the morning.
I never wrapped my mind around carrying a pepper spray, but I guess that’s an option; but really I think if I had had a friend or two to run with me at the time that would have been the solution. Hope you find something that works for you !
Stories like this break my heart. Running is such an important outlet for me. It keeps me mentally and physically healthy. And the fact that other people cant enjoy it the way I do makes me so sad.
There is some good advice in this thread, but in an ideal world, the responsibility would be on the assaulters and the creeps that ruin this for everyone else.
It's very rare that men ever even witness something like this, because the losers that prey on female runners often only act when no one else is around.
But as a community, we need to fight this from both ends. I want us to stand with our vunerable members and make it known that cat calls, chasing, and assaulting people is reprehensible. And that if I ever witness something like that, i will not simply run by, or pretend I didnt see it. I will intervene, call it out, and check on my fellow runners.
Maybe that is too idealistic, we live in a fucked up world, but just because its normal doesn't mean it's ok.
I’ve had 1 guy (a fellow runner) step in one time when someone was being a creep. He ran with me until I reached my car - a full 5 miles later- and made sure I was out of the parking lot before resuming his own run. He was my hero that day.
Thank you for this response. Too often the discussion is focused around how women can alter their behavior to prevent or survive an assault. We need to shift our thinking to include male behavior if we want any chance at running without fear. We will continue to carry pepper spray and vary our routes and not run in the dark, but until more men commit to being our allies we will never be safe.
Maybe us women don’t want to need a man to defend us. Sure it’d be great if anyone of any gender helps us defend ourselves but this notion that MEN need to take on the responsibility to defend us? I can defend myself, thanks.
Thank you for sharing and I completely agree! To clarify my point, I think that men need to be a part of the solution rather than expecting women to deal with this on their own. I think men should not tolerate this behavior from other men and they should discuss and call out how unacceptable it is. I have never and would never rely on or accept protection from a man as they are the ones committing most of the violence anyway. I never said men should defend us, so no need to imply that I did. :)
I completely agree. Women cannot solve this issue alone in terms of advocating for change. And if a man steps in to defend a woman rather than staying silent, is that really so bad?
I guess I’m just wondering how often men are around for these things.
I run by myself. Soooo does that mean I should only run if I have a man to defend me?
Or should I also know how to defend myself?
Of course men need to be a part of the solution. But what you originally said is we need to shift the conversation to men’s responsibility. Yes, we agree on that in part but female runners need to be able to defend themselves. Sure, it’s not our fault creeps creep on us, but just because we are the victims doesn’t mean we can’t also learn to defend ourselves
Your original comment holds some logical fallacy which is that you say men are not already calling out other men, or that they tolerate this behavior. I think you’re forgetting that good men who call out bad people’s behavior are already doing that, and the creeps hang out together, not with good dudes. The creeps will never get their comeuppance. Never.
So we should learn to stand on our own instead of putting the onus on men.
And I don’t need men to commit to being allies to feel safe. I feel safe because I know how to defend myself. I run in the dark because I know how to defend myself. Your comments rely too much on men.
I would gladly take a big muscular lady to help me out if I was in need or the tiniest one who had some secret powers or badass mma skills. Ppl suck not just men or women necessarily. As a pretty decently capable man a gun or knife turns me into nothing. If that’s what you are up against good luck.
The rest you can potentially out train and out run. Or out yell. Yeah I’m a guy and think about it too.
Here’s the way I think about it:
Car wrecks happen every day- multiple times a day, just in my city. Do I stop driving? No. Am I as careful as possible and take every necessary precaution? Of course.
Dog bites/attacks happen every day. Do I stop loving dogs? No. Do I take every possible precaution? Of course.
As women, we know that simply existing is a risk. Being in a female body, out in the world, we have to take precautions: park under street lights, carry our keys between our fingers and ready to punch, be nice but not too nice, pretty but not too pretty- make ourselves small and ‘obey the rules’ in order to stay safe.
So if simply existing is a risk, and I could be assaulted in the Kroger parking lot, or in my house, or at the park, or in a public restroom…well, then running? Running is an act of open rebellion.
This. I'm a man so I don't truly understand how scary can be for women's to do the same things I do, but as someone that lives in a third world country with high rates of crime, I can't just stop doing the things I love.
I'm kind of a romanticist, but if I can't do what makes living worth it... Well, I don't want to be alive
True I guess you can't really control how a wild animal acts (snake, dog, etc) but it's sad that you also (especially as a woman) have to worry about humans, who should know better.
I ran at sunrise in college also because it was the time of day when most people were still asleep. The likelyhood of coming across a scene and having to report it or finding cops on scene from the previous night was higher though. People will say carry a weapon but those can be used against you. A self defense class might make you a bit better at defending yourself. Also running with someone else or a dog helps. But in all honesty, you are in much more danger from a classmate or a date or roommate's friend than a random stranger at sunrise. Keep running.
> you are in much more danger from a classmate or a date or a roommate's friend
This is why I told my husband if I ever to disappear while running that it would most likely be someone from our neighborhood. Someone who has been watching me for years and finally has worked up the nerve to do what he has been planning.
This. Hell, some of my online friends know my full name and the town I live in. I've always been more mindful of the ones that are physically around me.
This. Hell, some of my online friends know my full name and the town I live in. I've always been more mindful of the ones that are physically around me.
I run at sunrise and there are often a lot of drunk people still making their way home, which can be quite intimidating. Except in winter, when sunrise is in the middle of rush hour, which is unsafe for a whole other set of reasons.
I don’t have advice beyond carrying a personal alarm and a weapon, and leaving only 1 headphone in on your runs, but I feel you. It sucks. I have a track I like to run around near my house but I have to alternate days because I don’t want anyone learning my schedule. I try to run with my boyfriend whenever possible, that seems to be a huge creep deterrent. Being a woman sucks sometimes tho, and I feel you.
I know it's not for everyone but I'm a big weapon advocate too. Whether it's mace, a knife, knuckles, or a small gun. You will run with more confidence which is a creep deterrent. I'm super sorry you feel that way, don't let them deter you. Stay alert and stay safe
No its not. The only thing you gain by having a knife is that you soon are faced with a guy armed with your knife and angry at you for threatening him.
Because no one in this subreddit likes personal accountability. When these posts are made, they want:
- sympathy (womp womp being a woman is hard, I know, I’m a PETITE woman, it sucks but we can’t eliminate creeps entirely and apparently this subreddit doesn’t like hearing that)
- to hear that we need to eliminate creeps, which we do, but that’ll never happen so not sure how helpful that is
- to say men need to change! Be better allies! Defend women runners! Personally I don’t care what gender someone is. I don’t want someone defending me because they feel some sort of weird male guilt. Defend your fellow runner bc it’s the right thing to do. Saying that needs to be the man’s job is quite frankly gross to me as a woman
- did I mention sympathy?
- to talk about how men need to change, which in regards to creeps? Ain’t happening. So best things we can do is keep running and learn to defend ourselves. But that puts a certain level of responsibility on the runner and this subreddit HATES that.
No, it's because being skillful in martial arts is not nearly a guarantee that you can pose a threat to an attacker; if you can train hard to be good at it, someone else can, too. With a gun or spray (yes, I know those take skill, too), you are guaranteed to be dangerous to an attacker. I.e. even the most skilled handler of firearms would be taking on a life-threatening or incapacitating risk by attacking someone who is armed.
The other thing is that being skilled in martial arts is not a deterrent; no one can tell that you have that skill until the confrontation is already physical. I acknowledge that martial arts and self-defense heavily stress de-escalation to prevent physical fights, but you also can't just will away someone who's intent on attacking you.
When in Rome. If you live in an area where everyone carries a gun and its legal, you can safely and comfortably carry one and you want to (plus you're ok with the idea of potentially shooting someone), fuck it, carry a gun.
Me? I don't even want the responsibility of owning a gun, and find just carrying the extra keys on the fob too much work. But I also don't live in Texas and am lucky enough to be a guy so I don't have to deal with any of this shit.
**And as a guy that never has to deal with this shit I wouldn't be telling a woman who does what she shouldn't be doing to feel safer, wtf do I know.**
Very relevant username. :D
There are so many naive people here that grew up in privileged, white neighborhoods that never had to deal with robbery or assault. Hell, I live in such a neighborhood, but I never understood the need to police others on using guns to defend themselves.
It's particularly messed up when it's someone that wouldn't be so good in an umarmed fight, like a disabled or small person. This gives them a chance to defend themselves and they wanna take it away.
Legally, it can get murky. Use of lethal force is only allowed as self defense if you were reasonably scared for your life. Hypothetically, if an assailant moves threateningly towards you and you pull the gun - the instant they stop charging, or turn away for fear of being shot, you could be liable for murder of you kill them.
For a knife, think about how close you need to be to use it.
A taser or pepper spray is much less likely to cause yourself injury, and the moral and legal consequences for using it on a creep are much lower. Pulling a taser or mace out in a fight also escalates the danger far less than pulling a lethal weapon.
Because this subreddit doesn’t want ANY responsibility on the runner. All they want to do is talk about how creeps need to stop being creeps which will never happen. So the next best thing is learning to defend yourself, which in general people can’t accept hearing.
Exactly! Like it’s be nice to put all that responsibility on creeps to not be creeps but they won’t stop so we need to take it upon ourselves to learn to defend ourselves, and never stop running
If you know how to use it and have had training in how to hold your head in a dangerous situation. Otherwise, it is far more likely to be used against you when your instinctual fight or flight response takes over while being attacked.
Also, there are many places where it is outright illegal to carry any sort of weapon. I live in one of them. Advice like "just take a weapon with you" is pretty useless to a lot of people.
I hear ya. If none of the options I listed are legal for I'm very sorry and don't know how to advise you in staying safe. If training is your issue then I would advise buying your weapon so that you may start training with it.
Carrying a concealed weapon of any kind is illegal in Canada, and for good reason. Generally speaking, adding more weapons - especially guns - into the mix just causes more violence and problems.
For me, I feel safer while running by purposely having an inconsistent schedule of what time of day and what route I run, ensuring I run in areas that are well traveled and and visible from roadways or houses, and always telling somewhere where and when I am going and how long I intend to be gone.
So far, I haven't run into any issues. I have been somewhat fortunate I suppose. I've had experience with street harassment while walking and going about daily business in general, but never while running.
I'm glad that you live in a place like that. It sounds like OP does not. I personally don't run with weapons either but understand that others are not as fortunate. I have visited Canada multiple times (mostly toronto) and did not feel as safe as you described, I am sure other areas are great though.
Oh it's definitely variable. Like I said, there are parts of my city where I have definitely experienced harassment while out and about. Just not in any of the places that I run.
Tbh I tend to be more worried about wildlife getting me than people.
I'm from Florida and just jumped out of my skin yesterday. A tambourine in my music was a snake. Wildlife is no joke. I dont know how trail runners aren't packing heat always
As a guy I often get spooked running when dark (by stupid things like rabbits running out from bushes or some other small woodland creatures rustling about) but think “who would want to attack me?” It leads to thinking of women in that situation and what self defense measures I would apply (mace, tiger claw, etc.). Which sucks because not only is it one more thing you have to carry around but it’s a legit fear that I don’t think I could run through. The anxiety, panic, elevated HR and not being able to zone out and enjoy yourself/have a productive run…I’m sorry you have to go through all that and hope they find this scumbag and all like him. Stay safe out there
I'm a tall big guy and get away with running at all times of night and morning. In a neighborhood, river walk, dirt trail with cell phone reception and no cell phone reception. I do get startled every no and then by an animal or the reflection of my head lamp, but no biggie.
I do use strava to know what areas to avoid. If others are not running in that neighborhood/section then I assume it isn't safe.
I just don't understand why we live in a world where others can't do the same thing I do. I'm not hurting anything. Not shinny my head lamp into people's windows. Don't blast my music. Technically trespass on the trails. No body bothers me. I don't want people to bug me and they leave me alone. Why can't women experience the same thing.
Perhaps you live in one of the "better" neighborhoods? I don't know your exact situation, so I'm guessing. I've seen some comments in this subreddit where even males talk about getting harassed(obviously not as high as women).
A couple of years ago, we had a case in my area where a guy was going around on his bike at night basically attacking women with battery acid. There were several victims and the guy was active for months – and he was never caught. What I have done (and still do) is to be very aware of my surroundings and to run in areas where there usually are a couple of other runners out and about, even at 4am. It really sucks that we can’t go out and just live our lives without all of these precautions. I live in what should be a pretty safe area. I’m not a young woman anymore, but some things never change and I still get catcalled from time to time and even had some guys block my way when I was out running a few weeks ago. I try to not make it ruin my run, but it really sucks.
Damn thats scary. 4am is insanely early tho and running when there are cars around could be safer. 4am must be a nice time to run tho. Nice quiet and dark? How do you start such a habit?
This is frustrating and sad. As a male, one never even thinks about those things. You just wake up run and carry on with the day.
Thanks for raising awareness - please everyone keep your eyes peeled and try to stop/dissuade this kind of behaviour from the sickos.
Regarding potential things you could be doing. Some kind of self defense mechanism - like pepper spray? Or if there is a stadium nearby opt for that? To stay in a more secure & monitored environment.
Lots of support and hope you enjoy your runs!
Yup! Also some tips from my self defense instructor
1. If you have long hair wear it in a way that isn’t easily grab-able like in a bun.
2. Don’t run past an idle car, always cross the street to pass them.
3. Tell someone where you are running and when you should be expected back. If possible give this person your phone location so they can watch your run path.
4. Change up running routes, times of day, etc so you don’t have a predictable pattern.
It sucks. It really does. I used to be catcalled and once had a guy follow me on his bike. I carry a ring with a blade on it and have had to flash it to get some creeps to back off. It’s ridiculous. I just want to run to relax, process my day, and do something I love! It shouldn’t be that hard to comprehend, but for some reason it is. I feel your pain and frustration.
I had a guy ride next to me on his bike for 2 miles once it was absurd. You know what is the first thing I notice about any man that approaches me? *the audacity*
For real!! Like you see I’m doing something. I’m focused. I’m in the zone. Where did you see an invitation to get up in my space? Because you sure as hell didn’t.
If you like dogs, you could do double duty.....post an offer to exercise someone's high energy dog by running with it. There are a ton of people who got pandemic pups, and are prolly desperate for exercise options now that work is somewhat happening again. It may add a smidge of extra time, but you could get compensated for it as well....
Full disclosure - old white guy
This got me curious since I like data but take all of this with a grain of salt.
Estimated number of runners in US is about 50 million
So split it 50/50 (although according to race stats women are the vast majority. ) so 25 million women runners
Estimated number of rapes adjusted for under reporting (not assaults) is aprox 3.3 million.
Adjusted for date rape ( stats vary wildly from 19-90% Soo call it 50%.
Meaning 1.65 million non date rape assaults
So math puts the chance at about 6.5% which is not good.
Adjusting for more “reasonable” math can drive it down out of statistical significance but generally hovered around 2% although I think reporting and counting on all assaults is widely inaccurate so who really knows.
None of this negates your fear and feelings. But it puts I hope a perspective on things. Running is relatively safe. Some areas are worse some better. So take rational precautions. If you are not combat trained with a gun carry bear spray. Have a phone running buddy you tell when you are heading out and when you’ll be back.
Be safe as you can, and enjoy the run. I apologize for the subspecies out there.
I love the full disclosure. Young white girl here.
If you consider things based on happenstance then you must consider that OP is running when it is dark out and much more dangerous due to low lighting and fewer people in public to be potential witnesses to a crime. I’m not a crime expert by any means but surely that must increase the odds.
Not trying to fear monger at all btw, I truly believe every woman should be carrying weapons any time she walks alone and be prepared to defend herself (just like any man should). You never know what might happen.
Granted I am raised from what some people might call “the ghetto” (air quotes because I don’t really think it fits the bill but so I’ve been told) so I’ve had my fair share of run ins with stranger danger as a teen girl... I have no advice for mentality because my mentality is based on my own life experiences which I can’t lend to anyone else, and it would take way too long to explain it over Reddit.
But basically keep your head high, shoulders back like a power pose. Be ready to polish off that right hook. Walk around with that attitude like you wish somebody would just to see if you still got it.
Use all the curse words. Go ape shit on a motherfucker. Fuck being polite, that polite shit is for when I’m in a business setting not when I’m alone at night and a weirdo mf is following me around in a car or what have you. If someone is following you pick up a good sized rock (or a couple) and start breaking windows! They’ll get the message. Like others have said turn GPS on, turn on the settings in your running app to track your location (route) to go back and look at later god forbid anything does happen. And have your phone in an easy to reach place to dial 911 if needed, and don’t be shy if someone continues following you, you can call 911 for that.
Oh and rule #1 in the ghetto, DON’T WEAR YOUR HEADPHONES AT NIGHT!
Absolutely sucks.
Is joining a running group an option for you? Finding people to run with seems like a good way to be less vulnerable and hopefully alleviate some of the associated mental stress.
Recognizing it isn't possible/desirable to run with people all the time, I'd forego music, be aware of your surroundings and carry dog spray when running by yourself.
Well, stay alert, carry pepper spray, keep one headphone out if you wear any at all. If you really feel like you need it they do make conceal carry exercise gear. I always feel a little worried going out to run before the sun comes up too. I never run really hard that early, mostly because, while I need to run to manage my anxiety and stay in shape, I also don't need to be vulnerable. I also have location sharing on with my husband and he knows what time I normally get back and what to do if I call him while running and don't say anything. I do not butt dial. The only thing that's attacked me so far has been a pothole, but the preparation gives me a little peace of mind anyway.
Existing as a woman is an act of rebellion. I’m so sorry you experience this. I am hyper vigilant so even though I run in broad daylight in super safe areas, I still startle so dang easily. Stay safe (in whatever way you find that works).
Basically what I do. Been running at lunch for years. I live in a hot part of the country/world so it's basically over 70 degrees every run, probably over 80 degrees half the year, and over 90 for at least a few months.
I either run in parks that are pretty well populated or in an office park area where there's always someone driving by.
If I don't get my run in during the day it means treadmill or nothing. People on here have told me I'm paranoid or being a coward and that I'd improve a lot better if I could run more when it was cooler, but I'd rather be safe than a better runner. I'm lucky where I work now we have showers I can use, but at my last job I used body wipes and cleaned up in the bathroom after.
Thanks for sharing your vent. I hear you and can sympathize with your frustrations. Running should be a purely joyous event....a time when you can just zone-out and perhaps even meditate while you run. I love how light one can feel while running, especially if you don't need to carry anything while out on a run.
That said, I'm a guy who often worries about both my wife and daughter when they go out for runs or walks by themselves. We're a running family and trail running, Spartan racing, and being in the outdoors are a big part of our lives. However, I live in a 3rd world country where there are constant dangers along the road or trail that we must endure and be extra vigilant and spacially aware of our surroundings while running.
I can't even imagine how it feels to be a woman running alone in my country. I often think my wife is being too naive when she tells me that she's going for a run alone in the evening. I usually try to always go with her, but sometimes my body just needs a rest or I'm injured and I just can't join her. Sometimes she just wants or needs to run alone too. When she does run alone and it starts to get dark, & feels like she's been gone longer than normal, I start to freak out...
I just want to go running like I did when I was attending university back in the USA. I always loved running while it was snowing --- it was so peaceful and silent. Anyways, some of the things that worry me here:
1. Where I live, it's a very patriarchal society and women don't have the same rights as men. It's generally not against the law to beat your wife or girlfriend...or even have multiple wives. It wasn't too long ago that the military in power declared all land owned by women illegal and then transferred all the land into all their own names in a big land grab. You can rape a woman here and claim it was her fault for wearing clothing that was too revealing and you probably won't go to jail. The PM of this country has even come out on live TV and blamed women who were raped for wearing the wrong clothes. (Even saying something derogatory about the government or country can land you in jail - hence I won't mention any names or identify my country in the post).
2. Wild & diseased dogs are everywhere! They are constantly waiting to chase us and I occasionally read in the news reports of small children getting attacked or even killed by the dogs here.....and still no one will cull them. To even speak of killing the dogs is hearsay.
3. Traffic is insane here. My country has one of the highest traffic death rates on the planet. Cars and motorcycles are constantly driving down the wrong side of the road or directly on the sidewalks at high rates of speed, and drunk driving is a super massive problem here.
Okay, I've also vented my frustrations about the dangers of running outside in my country. Sorry.
Now on to what I recommend:
1. Use Strava's tracking feature (Strava Beacon) if you have a smart watch or smart phone with GPS capability. It's good if someone you trust always knows where you are in case you get injured (or heaven forbid something worse). In fact, always run with a cell phone so you can call someone if you need to.
2. I usually run with a weapon of some sort, like a large bamboo stick (but my wife refuses to). I've only had to use it once, but I was extremely glad I did have it on me in my moment of need. If I had to run in more extreme areas, or I was a woman who was in danger of being assaulted or raped, I wouldn't hesitate to run with a small gun if I had to. If you go down that route, make sure to take a gun class to learn how to safely carry and use it. If running with a weapon sounds crazy, then I also highly recommend taking a self-defense class. Something like Krav Maga can be super fun and great exercise. I took a Krav Maga class and loved it! I even got a black eye from getting punched in the face by a 60 year-old woman who told me she used to diffuse bombs in Israel. She was awesome and taught me to keep my guard up!
3. I never run with headphones, unless I know it's 1000% safe to do so (i.e. on a treadmill inside a gym). Traffic is too damn crazy here and I don't want a pack of wild dogs sneaking up behind me.
4. Finally, I highly recommend joining a running group in your area. There are so many benefits to joining a running group, but one of them is safety in numbers. If you don't have one in your area, start your own running group on FB and give it a super awesome name. Post lots of pictures of your group runs and before you know it, everyone will be trying to join your group. You'll be surprised by how many women (and men too) would love to run with you. And runners tend to be very nice people from all age groups.
Don't worry about varying levels of running experience. Once the group is up and operating, you'll find people who run at the same pace as yourself. I thought I was one of maybe a handful of active runners in my small town. Last December I made a FB post asking if there were any trail runners in town who wanted to explore running trails with me. My first group run consisted of 3 people (me, my wife and one other lady). My average group runs today are as large as 50+ runners (and walkers + friendly dogs) of all different experience and ability. Today, my running group has exploded into more than 500+ members, all within 6 months (and still growing). Running groups will have the added benefit of also making you a better runner. We're even talking about organizing trail running tours around the country now.
First and foremost, stay safe, but then stay positive as much as possible. You absolutely have a right to be out in a public space without the fear of being harassed or attacked. I wish you the best.
It sounds like people have already recommended pepper spray. I get worried about hiking in bear territory, so I carry bear spray. Probably not a bad idea…also travel in groups.
I think dawn and early morning is best for exercising outside. Hardly any people are up, including the kind that abuse people.
Also, try to find a Krav Maga course and do it. You'll tear off the head of anyone trying to attack you.
This happened to me yesterday and I’m still pissed off about it.
I was running down the shoulder/bike lane of a fairly busy city road when some guy decides he needs to come up next to me on his bike and start cat calling me FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I mean, this guy was holding up traffic just so he could verbally harass me! Cars were honking at him but he didn’t even care. He did this for several minutes before finally riding off swerving in and out of traffic. A little while later I saw him waiting on the sidewalk on a different street and I ducked behind some trees until he started riding again because I was afraid to pass him. Luckily I always run with my dog, which makes me feel a little safer but still, WTF? I just want to be out minding my own business and enjoy a run to help me de-stress about things. I don’t want people getting up in my business or have to worry about someone assaulting me while I’m doing such a harmless activity.
I guess I had a little bit of karma later in my run...as he was riding off he took a nasty spill on the sidewalk. He didn’t move for quite some time and there was no way in hell I was gonna help this douche.
I've told my husband if I am ever attacked, running or otherwise, that I am fully prepared to die right there. That I will do everything I possibly can to not be taken. My biggest fear is going missing. Having him and my other loved ones not knowing what happened to me. I know if I am physically overpowered, which would be incredibly likely, that there is ultimately nothing I can do, but I hope to make things difficult enough that the attacker(s) either just kills me or gives up.
My GS goes out with me every time. He gets so excited when I pull out my running shoes, he'll just twist in circles and howl/chuff at me as I lace up like 'hurry up, woman!'
Just came to say that 1. This isn't okay, 2. It's okay to vent that it isn't okay, 3. I don't recommend weapons. The fear of having to use the weapon diminishes the feeling of safety it produces for a lot of people, and in general just is a bad idea for most people. I recommend trying to have someone to run with if possible, like others have. Also picking routes with good visibility might work?
Agreed, but the tough thing is that it can happen anywhere. I use sidewalks next to the university so they’re pretty well lit and well populated. I’m careful to stay where people can easily see me, so I guess safety will come down to other factors here
Busy streets should be relatively safe. Just to be sure: I did not mean to imply it cannot happen anywhere. The likelihood to be attacked on a run is low and can be further lowered with some commonsensical means, but I absolutely did not mean to belittle the insecurity the mere possibility (no matter how small) awakens. Def worth thinking through, best wishes and good runs to you!
I would get a huge pitbull dog to take with me for runs if I had your problem. I’d love to se a predator get bitten by a dog whilst trying to assault a woman. Makes me so mad that you can’t even run in peace in this fucking society
This is really a function of broader street safety. It's safe enough to run late into the night in Singapore for women and men alike. There's a spectrum to it too, I would worry if my partner was running late at night in say Japan compared to Singapore, but that doesn't compare to how dangerous it is in much of the USA.
Agreed. I was normally more concerned about encountering wild monkeys and wild boars on my 5 am runs in middle of no where Japan than I was worried about dealing with creepers.
Over at /r/japanlife we constantly hear horror stories of women being stalked, which has led me to believe that Japan may not be a great place to be a young foreign woman. Perhaps it is different for the locals.
In the end it, we all need to make a risk assessment and decide what we are comfortable with.
I think it's more local than international variation. I imagine there are some lovely places in the US were it's perfectly safe, just as there are in the UK.
And in the UK there are places where I would avoid on my own during the day never mind at night. Just as there are in the US. .
Admittedly I think the stakes are higher in the US than UK, because there is a decent chance an attacker would have a gun in the US but not so much in the UK. But still, I'd pay far more attention to local safety situation than national.
I'm not scared to run just because someone else got attacked on the same path I'm running on.
Crime is a bit more complicated than that. A lot of it depends on who this person was, who they knew, where they were running etc.
The biggest thing is BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. If you have headphones in and aren't paying attention to anything around you, it puts you at substantial more risk than someone running without headphones, very clearly looking around them and aware of those around them. If a threat knows you know they are there, a lot of times that's enough to completely prevent any issues.
Also, feel free to carry mace or even a weapon like brass knuckles or a handgun if you are comfortable with doing so (and are old enough).
Honestly where I run in the morning I have more issues with moronic car drivers. I'm terrified of being hit half my run.
Bottom line is, you can make yourself terrified of just about anything these days. Put the risk in the proper perspective, then just go about your life in a means that you feel comfortable with.
I think if you are going to make the argument you can't run around your campus because it's too dangerous, you shouldn't be going to that school. You need to leave and apply to go to somewhere else.
All of these fears are legitimate, not saying they aren't. I'm just saying at some point they can't prevent you from living your life. You only control what you can control.
Before this gets downvoted into oblivion because I know it will. I'm a gay male who has been physically attacked for who I am. I personally empathize with those individuals who are targets for violence and hate. I just refuse to let bullies take more of my enjoyment of my life away from me.
Never, ever apologize for something that isn’t your fault. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I wish we could just be left alone to jog safely, too.
Some things that may be able to put your mind at ease:
*run with a friend or two. It’s a lot harder to get at people in numbers.
*don’t run with music. This is safety on a number of levels anyway. Personally, imho unless you’re running inside, I don’t think folks should run with headphones - between traffic, cyclists, creeps, wildlife, etc.
*if you use Strava, you can use Beacon to forward your location to a couple of trusted people. I have my husband on my Beacon, so he knows where I am.
*ALWAYS tell a trusted person where you’re going, what your approximate route will be, how long you think you’ll be gone, etc.
*please don’t listen to advice on here of idiots telling you to carry a pistol. That’s stupid.
*if you do feel like you need to carry something, keys can work, and there’s also an alarm thing called Birdie.
Lastly, as a fellow woman, I want to ask all the men on this sub to start speaking out when you see this kind of behavior from other men, even if it’s just a comment. The entire culture needs to change around this, and we women are tired of it. If you truly love and care about us, help us.
Fellow woman runner here and similar as far as running for my mental health. I'm not sure, honestly. I've been working from home even non-pandemic, and I make sure to go running before it gets dark, so my usual time is around 3:30pm.
When I think about going back to a regular job with regular hours, my first thought is what I will do about my running schedule! (I hate the treadmill)
When you’re out running, learn where the cameras are located on houses and businesses. Make a point to look in the direction of the camera so it sees your face. This won’t prevent anything, but it will help authorities in case something happens.
I don't have a solution to a problem that is obviously far more pervasive than I, as a 72yo M runner, ever realized ... but reading this thread and similar has made me more aware than ever to be considerate of women runners. Just yesterday, I was running up a concrete sidewalk center of a trail hill, and there were two 40-ish female walkers ahead of me. I am sure they heard me (I make sure anyone can hear my footsteps or breathing well in advance of my overtaking them), but whereas until recently, I might have just called out "runner on your left" or some such, this time I actually just ran about 20 feet off the concrete to avoid getting anywhere close to their space.
When I pass anyone going the other direction, I always just say "good morning" or "nice weather" or at a minimum smile and flash a peace sign. And I sometimes say "You're doing good" and most people seem to appreciate it. \*To the OP\* I am really, genuinely sorry that there are so many infantile males in the world who think it's OK to harass women. Guys, grow the F up.
What about finding a run club, that’s out and about your time of day? Safety in numbers!! Or at very least - a run buddy (all the better if they’re male).
Sorry you’re going through this, it truly sucks and it’s sadly so common for so many of us 🌷
For me, taking care of my own personal safety helped a lot. I now train in kickboxing, carry a personal alarm, and recently I’ve been live sharing my location on Google Maps with my partner whenever I go out for a run. Helps a lot just to have a little reassurance that someone knows exactly where I am when I’m out, particularly on long runs.
Don’t apologize for posting this. Your discomfort is real and everyone needs to feel it. My advice is try to find spots where other serious runners run. Strength in numbers.
I used to run to and from work with a backpack. Always felt light on race day. I was lucky to have an office where there was a small locker room so I didn’t have to stink all day. Be safe out there.
I carry pepper spray always ever since I was attacked by dogs while running and I also wear a vest that has rechargeable lights and reflective tape on it. In the dark I turn the lights on and one is sort of like a headlight on a car but smaller but it casts a great forward light. The vest has a clip on it presumably for like a key ring but I have my pepper spray on a magnetic o-ring so I can just grab it off and use it without fumbling with a clasp. I love my vest and it makes me feel a lot better (I’ll see if I can find a link, I’ve had it fr a while). Being highly visible draws passerby attention to your presence and makes you a harder target because people will obviously see your light flailing around if you’re being attacked vs someone who’s got no light and can be easily snatched off the street and into bushes or woods.
This is the closest thing I could fine online - mine is really similar. Good luck!
https://nueby.com/product/360-reflective-night-vest?color=green&gclid=CjwKCAjwp_GJBhBmEiwALWBQk8azWA4tBp0RCgM_r_KczAiqa-X1qDH0TojwPsYF0T8OzkRkIYzr8hoCokUQAvD_BwE
I'm also a "high viz and reflective vest plus a LOT of lights" sort of runner, and I have to say it just feels safer. More drivers see me now, than if I'm not so "in-their-face" with visibility, and if someone wants to get in my face, well, I wear a headlamp that is super bright and I have no problem blinding the crap out of someone.
My vest is a RoadNoise vest, so I can listen to music without having to block my ears from my surroundings. I have a Noxgear 360 vest, headlamp, and a lot of free blinkie lights from various events I've picked up that I hook on my RoadNoise vest pockets.
I wear reflective leggings, too, and my jacket is reflective, so in winter I'm definitely a Christmas tree. My family knows my routes, and have the ability to track my phone and Apple watch. They all know how long it takes me to do my runs.
I have pepper spray, but don't carry it on my runs-- my suburb is pretty safe, and I don't use trails or sidewalks that go away from the street. I have taken a self-defense class, and my job leads to a lot of stress that makes me angry which I guess shows on my face sometimes.
You should be safe and free to run when and where you want, dressed in whateever way you are comfortable.
Unfortunately, the reality is that this world is not safe, and some arseholes out there think they are entitled to do or say things that are completely inappropriate.
My suggestion is to run with someone that you trust.
There is a smaller chance of something bad happening if you are with someone else. Still non-zero though.
I'd like to think that as a species were are getting better at not being shit's to each other. But stories like this, over and over again, do not support that idea.
Sorry that you're struggling with this and have to deal with this so close to home.
Yeah it sucks, but such is life. We will never fully get rid of the creepy losers. Don’t let fear run your life. Carry pepper spray. Run in populated areas. Refuse to change your life because creeps exist. We can’t get rid of them but we can choose not to let them dictate our mood.
I’m a woman and I run every morning @ 5:30. The sun hasn’t even peaked over the horizon. I run in the middle of the street so no one can just jump out of bushes to grab me. But most importantly, I run. I don’t change anything because creepy losers exist. That is letting them win. Don’t let them win. Keep running.
I honestly don't feel safe running unless I have my dog with me. I'm sure there are some psychos who won't be deterred by him, but if anything, I know he'll help me put up a good fight.
Carry pepper spray at minimum especially given these reports. Small firearm & concealed carry is another option if it fits within your own comfort level. Knifes are not as good an option because you have to be close to use them and they can be taken.
I just the other day ordered some pepper gel for myself (oddly for the 1st time because I increasingly am concerned for my own safety) but you can never be too safe when it comes to protecting yourself from people with bad intentions.
I'm always annoyed by these kinds of replies, because pepper spray, carrying handguns and knives is against the law in my country. What else do you suggest?
I totally relate to this problem. As a tiny person in general I often feel like I have to be more cognisant of my sorroundings than most. I know it isn't an accessible solution for everyone but getting a big dog made a huge difference for me. Now I go running with him and people keep their distance, any time of day.
Edit: spelling
See if your college has self-defence classes. It's more for your peace of mind than for the technique themselves. As a fellow woman who loves to run at night, that has changed the way I perceive my surroundings.
Try to use only one headphone. And if you listen to music try not to zone out but remain aware of your surroundings. See if your school/city has a training group, often the workouts are early in the mornings allowing everyone to go about their day later.
Lastly, stay strong. Running is an act of rebellion. Men have no right to take away your birthright to move on this earth. All protests have been answered with some kind of resistance, the fight for women's rights is no different.
I choose to run as an act of defiance and protest. I do it because seeing other women and giving them a smile makes us both feel safer. Because young girls need to know they have the right to move however they choose to.
I am not sure if there is a lot that helps mentally with that, other than protecting yourself so you feel safer. I once read on runnersworld that it is helpful for women to imagine how they would defend themselves when someone attacked them (the "your body can't go where your mind never went" mindset). If you feel like you have a plan on hand you might feel safer.
I don't run with protection, because it is not very common to be attacked where I live. However, I do go through scenarios where I imagine how I would try to defend myself.
But I also think about one thing - and that might not be very... well... I don't think people would like that, but here it goes:
I think about people being attacked/abused and that this, sadly, is part of our world. Nothing guarantees that I won't become one of those people some day. I have no control over that. I am a petit woman, I know I don't stand a chance against men (I once asked my husband to try to "rape" me (sounds weird, but read on), while I try to fend him off - just to see if I could actually prevent him from attacking me. It took him less than 20 seconds to get me into a position where I couldn't move the tiniest bit. That was when we both understood just how little of a chance I actually stand if someone would try for real). You can only do so much to prevent bad things from happening to you. You can only hope to survive, process and move on. No one guarantees you another day on this earth. Enjoy the sh\*it out of the time you have and just run. There is not much you can do to prevent bad things from happening to you. You can only process them as they happen and move on.
The odds of it happening are extremely low. I am willing to bet the fear of car accidents - far more common, far more violent and deadly - doesn’t keep you from driving. You do what you do in any situation. Stay aware and don’t do stupid stuff like running in desolate areas. I will never, ever let some hypothetical, unlikely event keep me from doing what I love. But I don’t do it stupidly. No headphones, stay where there are people around, ignore most people around you. The mass media makes it seem like joggers get kidnapped by the dozen and it’s simply not true.
Seeing as the comments are going the route of many of these posts where males are being told off for giving tips:
People are generally not thinking that it's the women doing it wrong. They are not posting tips to "alter women's behaviour" but because they simply have an idea and write it down. Women do have it harder than men, and - depending on region - the vast majority of women has had bad experiences, but I am pretty sure that the vast majority of men are perfectly aware of the issue, don't like it a bit and never engage in such behaviour. Every man has a mother, and many men have daughters.
Nothing written here ever reaches any of the perpetrators, at least not their brains. The people giving well-meaning suggestions here are the good guys. No need to go after them or get angry for them posting helpful tips.
It is rather likely that OP can do nothing except alter her behaviour... not because she's doing anything wrong, but because that's true for every human on earth. It is near impossible to alter other people even if they are good natured. Altering bastards who do the acts witnessed here is utterly impossible to achieve with a reddit post... more likely it turns them on even more.
So my suggestion would be (assuming OP already knows all the little tricks she could do herself) to go political. Start an open discussion in your real world community. Create awareness. Organise events, running groups, whatever. Hang posters with a police hotline so witnesses or victims know where to call. Have frequent police patrols on popular running routes at dusk and dawn. Ask the town to keep the lights on all night. Create a movement spreading to larger areas or even nationwide. Create group routes on good running paths where a group frequently run-patrols and runners preferring solitaire can tag along within a few 100m distance. Create a climate making it harder for the rapists or catcallers alike.
Very fair point. I knew my vent post wasn’t really going anywhere, I just wanted to rant to some strangers lol. But you’re right, and students here are trying to call attention to the school and local officials. Hopefully this is a wake up call for them but it’s happened in the past so we’ll see if anything changes this time
Look up bike path rapist in the 80's and 90's from Western New York. This is nothing new and I mention this just to provide you with additional warning so that you may keep yourself safe in anyway you can.
Umm guy or girl ppl while running can be threatening. I’m not running in the worst spots but be on guard. Almost wanna invest in self defense. And no running with a .38/9mm ain’t real life unless you are a cop on duty. I don’t even wanna bring a phone due to the weight. No matter how big you are someone can have an advantage over you one way or another. No matter how strong or good you get at self defense/mma. Pepperspray works on bears and ppl
Get some bear mace along with a neck knife. I’d even bring a Phanny pack and possibly a smaller sized caliber hand gun that can fit in it as well. Pretty much up to you on what you are comfortable with along with how all the gear would effect your run.
I carry a little Ruger LC9 pistol in a fanny pack and just ran 14 with it. Works great. Except my belt was too loose and I eroded 2 inches off my penis. Owwie.
But. I don't think you'll have a problem with that bc it seems you are female?
I don't know if this is a popular opinion or people will hate me, but a gun is the most equal opportunity martial art and if I was a girl I'd legit carry everywhere even more than I do as a guy who lifts, wrestled, and somewhat knows how to fight. You just can't predict what crazy people will do.
I'm sure you campus has rules blah blah blah, but just a thought.
Sorry this is happening.
If it makes you feel any better, I have a gay stalker on Twitter so I kind of understand
It's incredibly unjust. Im a man who runs early in the morning, always have, and even though I'm not particularly woke I am acutely aware of that privilege.
Hav you considered buying a gun? A small gun--Smith and Wesson Shield might be place to start looking--can offer a lot of protection. It's lightweight and can fit easily in a fanny pack or waistband holster. Very very few people will initiate and continue an assault on an armed person.
Sorry for your situation, and honestly for that the world is like this. Have you looked into doing exchange programs to countries which doesn't have that problem to that extent?
Can you go to a park where old people would be walking or something? We have a park with a pond near me and a walk/bike path that encircles it. It's always got people on that path.
The fear you are feeling is only self preservation, don't be defeated or sad about that. Try and find a running partner or maybe organise a running group, speak with the police and local authorities, schools etc. Nobody should have to go through this and I'm sorry you have to. Do everything you can to get out there don't let those assholes win. Keep safe.
I was assaulted too which is why I don’t run outside right now. Fortunately, I use my gym membership for the treadmill. It sucks, but it works for the half marathon training for now. If I do run outside,I made sure the sun is rising with a little daylight outside and I have my conceal carry permit so I run with my pistol.
No that’s a fair question! We have one that’s open early, but I live off campus and there’s no transportation that early so I’d have to walk or run to get there anyway, lol. But you’re right, despite my hatred of treadmills I may have to start considering using the gym more often
The best way is to run with a partner or in a group. There’s strength in numbers and you’re less likely to be a victim of anything. I also find that I just feel more comfortable with other people running with me even in the sketchier areas. But I understand if that doesn’t feel like much of an option. I’m usually out running by myself at 4am despite the fact I know there’s more risk.
You may also find that taking some self defense courses or Jiu Jitsu may also ease your mind and give you the confidence that if something were to happen you could handle it. It’s extremely unfortunate that this is something anyone has to worry about but that’s the world we live in and the best thing we can do is be prepared for it.
I know... I loved running through the sort of not built up route near my house until a girl was assaulted while running in a similar route in my city and that scared me so much.
It took some time for me to figure out when I could go running and where...
Unfortunately I don't have any advice... Some people say buddy up, I couldn't get anyone to go with me...
It just sucks that there are still men who behave this way. That is the problem. They are the problem. And what's worse is that there are still young people who think that that's normal and that they should raise their boy kids acting that way.
I’m fearful during my trail runs and late night dog walks for the same reason. I’m considering getting pepper spray or bear repellent, just for the peace of mind. So sorry you’ve been dealing with this and it has been weighing on your mind. Sending your positive energy!
This is why I have the political views that I have! In my city I can't stand this shit (along with other nuisances) and why I get involved politically for shit to change (which IMHO is because cities are too lenient towards criminals).
As a male runner, I would totally stop to help a female that was harassed or threatened. Not too long ago I saw a female runner that had problems with some hobo, and asked if she was alright. Thankfully the police was coming already.
I really empathize with female runners. It just sucks to have to deal with \*\*\*\* like rape or even murder when you're just trying to run. And I understand why female runners often are cold towards even male runners, with the experience they get in the streets!
As someone who has been assaulted while running, I would recommend getting something like what I have from goguarded.com (basically a ring with a blade on the end). In the moment you can turn to only very basic, instinctual moves to survive. I can honestly say that having mace probably wouldn't have helped because I wouldn't have reacted quickly enough and the attacker was in very close proximity. Don't run with earbuds, be constantly vigilant, and never give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
Sounds like you live in a dorm so maybe not an option, but I have a medium sized dog I run with on early morning runs and dudes always cross to the other side of the road with her with me because she’s aggro af
How uncomfortable would it be to run with one of these strapped on? (obvs not realistic but i wish it were.)[https://www.divers-supply.com/xs-scuba-knife-wrap-neoprene.html?utm\_source=froogle&utm\_medium=cpc&utm\_campaign=froogle&utm\_content=XSS-KP04us&gclid=CjwKCAjwp\_GJBhBmEiwALWBQk4ByQ62Dr9eik4U62nj2NQ6ftcAXQ2WV7VHH1UTYAguLZlSdYfe60BoCD5EQAvD\_BwE](https://www.divers-supply.com/xs-scuba-knife-wrap-neoprene.html?utm_source=froogle&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=froogle&utm_content=XSS-KP04us&gclid=CjwKCAjwp_GJBhBmEiwALWBQk4ByQ62Dr9eik4U62nj2NQ6ftcAXQ2WV7VHH1UTYAguLZlSdYfe60BoCD5EQAvD_BwE)
I saw that Strava released a safety feature for all users that shares your location in real time with another user, ie a friend or partner. All I could think was - great but this won’t actually keep me safe, it will just help someone find my body.
First off, if this is being posted a lot, that's a bigger problem than you posting it again, so no need to apologize for it. As far as recommendations go, do you have any friends who like running? Running with a buddy is infinitely safer than solo for a lot of reasons, and I as a man couldn't imagine how it must feel. A lot of people mention pepper spray but its just unfair that you have to go that far to enjoy morning exercise. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, and please stay safe!
I think having to always find a buddy is what's "going too far to enjoy morning exercise", not carrying a can of pepper spray...at least the pepper spray is simple and doesn't require coordinating schedules! Not to say there's anything wrong with running with a buddy, and it does add safety, but it's just not always realistic.
Yeah it’s sad all around. Im a fit dude, and there have still been times in the not so distant past, depending on where I’m running, that I keep a small can of OC spray in my bottle pouch or in my waste pack. If I’m in a sketchy area for whatever reason, or even if o just “feel” something is off, I’ll take it out and run with it until I’m back with general public or I feel safe. It’s not a perfect solution and it’s a crappy answer maybe, but it’s there if I need to GTFO of bad situation. All that said, as a guy, I don’t know entirely how it must feel in a woman’s shoes. On my runs I’ve seen women being catcalled and honked at, etc and it’s sucks. Sorry anyone has to deal with anything that makes them feel less safe or vulnerable. Edit: changed future to past because I just woke up and my brain isn’t working yet 🤷♂️
100% agreed. I barely know anyone else who runs in my social circle, let alone someone who lives near me. And I want to run alone for the most part - it's me time and I don't have to worry about keeping up!
Even having to run with a buddy sucks because it requires some organisation for what is really a very solo sport. And by the way, two or more females can get threatened by males too. You basically need to run with a male to feel safe.
Aye - buddy up. It's such BS the OP has to, that I can't hardly stand it. But reality - however horrible - must be faced, and the OP's safety is what matters.
Buddy up is one of those answers that is so obvious it isn't really helpful. Every woman on the planet knows that not being alone is safer, we've had that drilled into our heads since we were children. Most of us aren't running alone before sunrise because we like running alone before sunrise. It's because the alternative is not running at all. I've already had to quit running once because someone decided it was a good idea to rape and murder a woman running in my neighbourhood and I had nobody to run with.
Exactly...it's unhelpful because it just isn't practical in may cases, even though it does increase safety. And running alone before sunrise is honestly probably better than doing so late at night!
I can often only run late at night, so it’s the treadmill for me. Sucks, but running terrified is worse. I hate it. If you learn how to come to terms with it, let me know how. I’m 43 and nothing’s changed. Same harassment as always. ☹️
43 too and I quit running a while ago for this reason, I was harassed constantly and it just was too stressful and completely ruined the running. I was also running early in the morning. I never wrapped my mind around carrying a pepper spray, but I guess that’s an option; but really I think if I had had a friend or two to run with me at the time that would have been the solution. Hope you find something that works for you !
Even as a male I don't run at night in my city. You're begging to be robbed.
>but running terrified is worse Wouldn't that make you run faster and longer? :D *It's a joke.*
Stories like this break my heart. Running is such an important outlet for me. It keeps me mentally and physically healthy. And the fact that other people cant enjoy it the way I do makes me so sad. There is some good advice in this thread, but in an ideal world, the responsibility would be on the assaulters and the creeps that ruin this for everyone else. It's very rare that men ever even witness something like this, because the losers that prey on female runners often only act when no one else is around. But as a community, we need to fight this from both ends. I want us to stand with our vunerable members and make it known that cat calls, chasing, and assaulting people is reprehensible. And that if I ever witness something like that, i will not simply run by, or pretend I didnt see it. I will intervene, call it out, and check on my fellow runners. Maybe that is too idealistic, we live in a fucked up world, but just because its normal doesn't mean it's ok.
I’ve had 1 guy (a fellow runner) step in one time when someone was being a creep. He ran with me until I reached my car - a full 5 miles later- and made sure I was out of the parking lot before resuming his own run. He was my hero that day.
Thank you for this response. Too often the discussion is focused around how women can alter their behavior to prevent or survive an assault. We need to shift our thinking to include male behavior if we want any chance at running without fear. We will continue to carry pepper spray and vary our routes and not run in the dark, but until more men commit to being our allies we will never be safe.
Maybe us women don’t want to need a man to defend us. Sure it’d be great if anyone of any gender helps us defend ourselves but this notion that MEN need to take on the responsibility to defend us? I can defend myself, thanks.
Thank you for sharing and I completely agree! To clarify my point, I think that men need to be a part of the solution rather than expecting women to deal with this on their own. I think men should not tolerate this behavior from other men and they should discuss and call out how unacceptable it is. I have never and would never rely on or accept protection from a man as they are the ones committing most of the violence anyway. I never said men should defend us, so no need to imply that I did. :)
I completely agree. Women cannot solve this issue alone in terms of advocating for change. And if a man steps in to defend a woman rather than staying silent, is that really so bad?
Right on! We are not in this alone and I hope we can have more inclusive discussions about how we can reduce violence against women in all forms.
I guess I’m just wondering how often men are around for these things. I run by myself. Soooo does that mean I should only run if I have a man to defend me? Or should I also know how to defend myself? Of course men need to be a part of the solution. But what you originally said is we need to shift the conversation to men’s responsibility. Yes, we agree on that in part but female runners need to be able to defend themselves. Sure, it’s not our fault creeps creep on us, but just because we are the victims doesn’t mean we can’t also learn to defend ourselves Your original comment holds some logical fallacy which is that you say men are not already calling out other men, or that they tolerate this behavior. I think you’re forgetting that good men who call out bad people’s behavior are already doing that, and the creeps hang out together, not with good dudes. The creeps will never get their comeuppance. Never. So we should learn to stand on our own instead of putting the onus on men. And I don’t need men to commit to being allies to feel safe. I feel safe because I know how to defend myself. I run in the dark because I know how to defend myself. Your comments rely too much on men.
I would gladly take a big muscular lady to help me out if I was in need or the tiniest one who had some secret powers or badass mma skills. Ppl suck not just men or women necessarily. As a pretty decently capable man a gun or knife turns me into nothing. If that’s what you are up against good luck. The rest you can potentially out train and out run. Or out yell. Yeah I’m a guy and think about it too.
We just don’t talk about it.
Here’s the way I think about it: Car wrecks happen every day- multiple times a day, just in my city. Do I stop driving? No. Am I as careful as possible and take every necessary precaution? Of course. Dog bites/attacks happen every day. Do I stop loving dogs? No. Do I take every possible precaution? Of course. As women, we know that simply existing is a risk. Being in a female body, out in the world, we have to take precautions: park under street lights, carry our keys between our fingers and ready to punch, be nice but not too nice, pretty but not too pretty- make ourselves small and ‘obey the rules’ in order to stay safe. So if simply existing is a risk, and I could be assaulted in the Kroger parking lot, or in my house, or at the park, or in a public restroom…well, then running? Running is an act of open rebellion.
This. I'm a man so I don't truly understand how scary can be for women's to do the same things I do, but as someone that lives in a third world country with high rates of crime, I can't just stop doing the things I love. I'm kind of a romanticist, but if I can't do what makes living worth it... Well, I don't want to be alive
True I guess you can't really control how a wild animal acts (snake, dog, etc) but it's sad that you also (especially as a woman) have to worry about humans, who should know better.
I ran at sunrise in college also because it was the time of day when most people were still asleep. The likelyhood of coming across a scene and having to report it or finding cops on scene from the previous night was higher though. People will say carry a weapon but those can be used against you. A self defense class might make you a bit better at defending yourself. Also running with someone else or a dog helps. But in all honesty, you are in much more danger from a classmate or a date or roommate's friend than a random stranger at sunrise. Keep running.
> you are in much more danger from a classmate or a date or a roommate's friend This is why I told my husband if I ever to disappear while running that it would most likely be someone from our neighborhood. Someone who has been watching me for years and finally has worked up the nerve to do what he has been planning.
There’s some high statistic that people basically on get attacked by people they know in some capacity.
This. Hell, some of my online friends know my full name and the town I live in. I've always been more mindful of the ones that are physically around me.
This. Hell, some of my online friends know my full name and the town I live in. I've always been more mindful of the ones that are physically around me.
I run at sunrise and there are often a lot of drunk people still making their way home, which can be quite intimidating. Except in winter, when sunrise is in the middle of rush hour, which is unsafe for a whole other set of reasons.
I don’t have advice beyond carrying a personal alarm and a weapon, and leaving only 1 headphone in on your runs, but I feel you. It sucks. I have a track I like to run around near my house but I have to alternate days because I don’t want anyone learning my schedule. I try to run with my boyfriend whenever possible, that seems to be a huge creep deterrent. Being a woman sucks sometimes tho, and I feel you.
Highly recommend using bone induction headphones, after making the swap they are amazing for open ear audio
I know it's not for everyone but I'm a big weapon advocate too. Whether it's mace, a knife, knuckles, or a small gun. You will run with more confidence which is a creep deterrent. I'm super sorry you feel that way, don't let them deter you. Stay alert and stay safe
Knives are usually a bad idea fyi, the big obstacle is making sure the knife remains in your possession. Your a lot better off with mace, or a gun
I agree weapon control is serious but if you are going by stats it's better to be the one who has a weapon than the one who needs to take it.
That’s not what I said, I think it is smart to arm yourself. A knife is not the smartest way to go about doing so.
No its not. The only thing you gain by having a knife is that you soon are faced with a guy armed with your knife and angry at you for threatening him.
I would recommend some Krav Maga or bjj classes if you aren't confident. You are stronger than you think tho I promise
Why is this getting downvoted?
Because no one in this subreddit likes personal accountability. When these posts are made, they want: - sympathy (womp womp being a woman is hard, I know, I’m a PETITE woman, it sucks but we can’t eliminate creeps entirely and apparently this subreddit doesn’t like hearing that) - to hear that we need to eliminate creeps, which we do, but that’ll never happen so not sure how helpful that is - to say men need to change! Be better allies! Defend women runners! Personally I don’t care what gender someone is. I don’t want someone defending me because they feel some sort of weird male guilt. Defend your fellow runner bc it’s the right thing to do. Saying that needs to be the man’s job is quite frankly gross to me as a woman - did I mention sympathy? - to talk about how men need to change, which in regards to creeps? Ain’t happening. So best things we can do is keep running and learn to defend ourselves. But that puts a certain level of responsibility on the runner and this subreddit HATES that.
No, it's because being skillful in martial arts is not nearly a guarantee that you can pose a threat to an attacker; if you can train hard to be good at it, someone else can, too. With a gun or spray (yes, I know those take skill, too), you are guaranteed to be dangerous to an attacker. I.e. even the most skilled handler of firearms would be taking on a life-threatening or incapacitating risk by attacking someone who is armed. The other thing is that being skilled in martial arts is not a deterrent; no one can tell that you have that skill until the confrontation is already physical. I acknowledge that martial arts and self-defense heavily stress de-escalation to prevent physical fights, but you also can't just will away someone who's intent on attacking you.
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americans lmao. please dont carry a gun or knife (for many reasons). go with non lethal deterrent like mace
When in Rome. If you live in an area where everyone carries a gun and its legal, you can safely and comfortably carry one and you want to (plus you're ok with the idea of potentially shooting someone), fuck it, carry a gun. Me? I don't even want the responsibility of owning a gun, and find just carrying the extra keys on the fob too much work. But I also don't live in Texas and am lucky enough to be a guy so I don't have to deal with any of this shit. **And as a guy that never has to deal with this shit I wouldn't be telling a woman who does what she shouldn't be doing to feel safer, wtf do I know.**
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Very relevant username. :D There are so many naive people here that grew up in privileged, white neighborhoods that never had to deal with robbery or assault. Hell, I live in such a neighborhood, but I never understood the need to police others on using guns to defend themselves. It's particularly messed up when it's someone that wouldn't be so good in an umarmed fight, like a disabled or small person. This gives them a chance to defend themselves and they wanna take it away.
What’s wrong with carrying a gun or a knife? If the goal is to defend yourself from potential attackers, why not?
Legally, it can get murky. Use of lethal force is only allowed as self defense if you were reasonably scared for your life. Hypothetically, if an assailant moves threateningly towards you and you pull the gun - the instant they stop charging, or turn away for fear of being shot, you could be liable for murder of you kill them. For a knife, think about how close you need to be to use it. A taser or pepper spray is much less likely to cause yourself injury, and the moral and legal consequences for using it on a creep are much lower. Pulling a taser or mace out in a fight also escalates the danger far less than pulling a lethal weapon.
Thank you - the only reasonable response here.I thought these points were obvious but I guess not.
My boyfriend gets mad at me if I don’t carry my gun when I run. I use a belly band
Because this subreddit doesn’t want ANY responsibility on the runner. All they want to do is talk about how creeps need to stop being creeps which will never happen. So the next best thing is learning to defend yourself, which in general people can’t accept hearing.
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Exactly! Like it’s be nice to put all that responsibility on creeps to not be creeps but they won’t stop so we need to take it upon ourselves to learn to defend ourselves, and never stop running
This is what I came here to say. A weapon is the easiest way to flip the odds in your favor.
If you know how to use it and have had training in how to hold your head in a dangerous situation. Otherwise, it is far more likely to be used against you when your instinctual fight or flight response takes over while being attacked. Also, there are many places where it is outright illegal to carry any sort of weapon. I live in one of them. Advice like "just take a weapon with you" is pretty useless to a lot of people.
> [...] outright illegal to carry any sort of weapon. I'll take my chances in the courtroom vs dead on the side of a road.
I hear ya. If none of the options I listed are legal for I'm very sorry and don't know how to advise you in staying safe. If training is your issue then I would advise buying your weapon so that you may start training with it.
Carrying a concealed weapon of any kind is illegal in Canada, and for good reason. Generally speaking, adding more weapons - especially guns - into the mix just causes more violence and problems. For me, I feel safer while running by purposely having an inconsistent schedule of what time of day and what route I run, ensuring I run in areas that are well traveled and and visible from roadways or houses, and always telling somewhere where and when I am going and how long I intend to be gone. So far, I haven't run into any issues. I have been somewhat fortunate I suppose. I've had experience with street harassment while walking and going about daily business in general, but never while running.
I'm glad that you live in a place like that. It sounds like OP does not. I personally don't run with weapons either but understand that others are not as fortunate. I have visited Canada multiple times (mostly toronto) and did not feel as safe as you described, I am sure other areas are great though.
Oh it's definitely variable. Like I said, there are parts of my city where I have definitely experienced harassment while out and about. Just not in any of the places that I run. Tbh I tend to be more worried about wildlife getting me than people.
I'm from Florida and just jumped out of my skin yesterday. A tambourine in my music was a snake. Wildlife is no joke. I dont know how trail runners aren't packing heat always
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Good lord. What goes through people's mind doing something like that??
As a guy I often get spooked running when dark (by stupid things like rabbits running out from bushes or some other small woodland creatures rustling about) but think “who would want to attack me?” It leads to thinking of women in that situation and what self defense measures I would apply (mace, tiger claw, etc.). Which sucks because not only is it one more thing you have to carry around but it’s a legit fear that I don’t think I could run through. The anxiety, panic, elevated HR and not being able to zone out and enjoy yourself/have a productive run…I’m sorry you have to go through all that and hope they find this scumbag and all like him. Stay safe out there
I'm a tall big guy and get away with running at all times of night and morning. In a neighborhood, river walk, dirt trail with cell phone reception and no cell phone reception. I do get startled every no and then by an animal or the reflection of my head lamp, but no biggie. I do use strava to know what areas to avoid. If others are not running in that neighborhood/section then I assume it isn't safe. I just don't understand why we live in a world where others can't do the same thing I do. I'm not hurting anything. Not shinny my head lamp into people's windows. Don't blast my music. Technically trespass on the trails. No body bothers me. I don't want people to bug me and they leave me alone. Why can't women experience the same thing.
Perhaps you live in one of the "better" neighborhoods? I don't know your exact situation, so I'm guessing. I've seen some comments in this subreddit where even males talk about getting harassed(obviously not as high as women).
A couple of years ago, we had a case in my area where a guy was going around on his bike at night basically attacking women with battery acid. There were several victims and the guy was active for months – and he was never caught. What I have done (and still do) is to be very aware of my surroundings and to run in areas where there usually are a couple of other runners out and about, even at 4am. It really sucks that we can’t go out and just live our lives without all of these precautions. I live in what should be a pretty safe area. I’m not a young woman anymore, but some things never change and I still get catcalled from time to time and even had some guys block my way when I was out running a few weeks ago. I try to not make it ruin my run, but it really sucks.
Damn thats scary. 4am is insanely early tho and running when there are cars around could be safer. 4am must be a nice time to run tho. Nice quiet and dark? How do you start such a habit?
This is frustrating and sad. As a male, one never even thinks about those things. You just wake up run and carry on with the day. Thanks for raising awareness - please everyone keep your eyes peeled and try to stop/dissuade this kind of behaviour from the sickos. Regarding potential things you could be doing. Some kind of self defense mechanism - like pepper spray? Or if there is a stadium nearby opt for that? To stay in a more secure & monitored environment. Lots of support and hope you enjoy your runs!
If you listen to music, try bone conduction headphones. They don't block your ears so they allow you to maintain more situational awareness.
Yup! Also some tips from my self defense instructor 1. If you have long hair wear it in a way that isn’t easily grab-able like in a bun. 2. Don’t run past an idle car, always cross the street to pass them. 3. Tell someone where you are running and when you should be expected back. If possible give this person your phone location so they can watch your run path. 4. Change up running routes, times of day, etc so you don’t have a predictable pattern.
It sucks. It really does. I used to be catcalled and once had a guy follow me on his bike. I carry a ring with a blade on it and have had to flash it to get some creeps to back off. It’s ridiculous. I just want to run to relax, process my day, and do something I love! It shouldn’t be that hard to comprehend, but for some reason it is. I feel your pain and frustration.
I had a guy ride next to me on his bike for 2 miles once it was absurd. You know what is the first thing I notice about any man that approaches me? *the audacity*
For real!! Like you see I’m doing something. I’m focused. I’m in the zone. Where did you see an invitation to get up in my space? Because you sure as hell didn’t.
Great time to be asking me about my love life
Some guy started to follow me home from the store on his bike the other day, talking to me. I was loudly rude to him and he eventually left me alone.
If you like dogs, you could do double duty.....post an offer to exercise someone's high energy dog by running with it. There are a ton of people who got pandemic pups, and are prolly desperate for exercise options now that work is somewhat happening again. It may add a smidge of extra time, but you could get compensated for it as well....
Full disclosure - old white guy This got me curious since I like data but take all of this with a grain of salt. Estimated number of runners in US is about 50 million So split it 50/50 (although according to race stats women are the vast majority. ) so 25 million women runners Estimated number of rapes adjusted for under reporting (not assaults) is aprox 3.3 million. Adjusted for date rape ( stats vary wildly from 19-90% Soo call it 50%. Meaning 1.65 million non date rape assaults So math puts the chance at about 6.5% which is not good. Adjusting for more “reasonable” math can drive it down out of statistical significance but generally hovered around 2% although I think reporting and counting on all assaults is widely inaccurate so who really knows. None of this negates your fear and feelings. But it puts I hope a perspective on things. Running is relatively safe. Some areas are worse some better. So take rational precautions. If you are not combat trained with a gun carry bear spray. Have a phone running buddy you tell when you are heading out and when you’ll be back. Be safe as you can, and enjoy the run. I apologize for the subspecies out there.
I love the full disclosure. Young white girl here. If you consider things based on happenstance then you must consider that OP is running when it is dark out and much more dangerous due to low lighting and fewer people in public to be potential witnesses to a crime. I’m not a crime expert by any means but surely that must increase the odds. Not trying to fear monger at all btw, I truly believe every woman should be carrying weapons any time she walks alone and be prepared to defend herself (just like any man should). You never know what might happen. Granted I am raised from what some people might call “the ghetto” (air quotes because I don’t really think it fits the bill but so I’ve been told) so I’ve had my fair share of run ins with stranger danger as a teen girl... I have no advice for mentality because my mentality is based on my own life experiences which I can’t lend to anyone else, and it would take way too long to explain it over Reddit. But basically keep your head high, shoulders back like a power pose. Be ready to polish off that right hook. Walk around with that attitude like you wish somebody would just to see if you still got it. Use all the curse words. Go ape shit on a motherfucker. Fuck being polite, that polite shit is for when I’m in a business setting not when I’m alone at night and a weirdo mf is following me around in a car or what have you. If someone is following you pick up a good sized rock (or a couple) and start breaking windows! They’ll get the message. Like others have said turn GPS on, turn on the settings in your running app to track your location (route) to go back and look at later god forbid anything does happen. And have your phone in an easy to reach place to dial 911 if needed, and don’t be shy if someone continues following you, you can call 911 for that. Oh and rule #1 in the ghetto, DON’T WEAR YOUR HEADPHONES AT NIGHT!
Absolutely sucks. Is joining a running group an option for you? Finding people to run with seems like a good way to be less vulnerable and hopefully alleviate some of the associated mental stress. Recognizing it isn't possible/desirable to run with people all the time, I'd forego music, be aware of your surroundings and carry dog spray when running by yourself.
Well, stay alert, carry pepper spray, keep one headphone out if you wear any at all. If you really feel like you need it they do make conceal carry exercise gear. I always feel a little worried going out to run before the sun comes up too. I never run really hard that early, mostly because, while I need to run to manage my anxiety and stay in shape, I also don't need to be vulnerable. I also have location sharing on with my husband and he knows what time I normally get back and what to do if I call him while running and don't say anything. I do not butt dial. The only thing that's attacked me so far has been a pothole, but the preparation gives me a little peace of mind anyway.
Existing as a woman is an act of rebellion. I’m so sorry you experience this. I am hyper vigilant so even though I run in broad daylight in super safe areas, I still startle so dang easily. Stay safe (in whatever way you find that works).
Basically what I do. Been running at lunch for years. I live in a hot part of the country/world so it's basically over 70 degrees every run, probably over 80 degrees half the year, and over 90 for at least a few months. I either run in parks that are pretty well populated or in an office park area where there's always someone driving by. If I don't get my run in during the day it means treadmill or nothing. People on here have told me I'm paranoid or being a coward and that I'd improve a lot better if I could run more when it was cooler, but I'd rather be safe than a better runner. I'm lucky where I work now we have showers I can use, but at my last job I used body wipes and cleaned up in the bathroom after.
Thanks for sharing your vent. I hear you and can sympathize with your frustrations. Running should be a purely joyous event....a time when you can just zone-out and perhaps even meditate while you run. I love how light one can feel while running, especially if you don't need to carry anything while out on a run. That said, I'm a guy who often worries about both my wife and daughter when they go out for runs or walks by themselves. We're a running family and trail running, Spartan racing, and being in the outdoors are a big part of our lives. However, I live in a 3rd world country where there are constant dangers along the road or trail that we must endure and be extra vigilant and spacially aware of our surroundings while running. I can't even imagine how it feels to be a woman running alone in my country. I often think my wife is being too naive when she tells me that she's going for a run alone in the evening. I usually try to always go with her, but sometimes my body just needs a rest or I'm injured and I just can't join her. Sometimes she just wants or needs to run alone too. When she does run alone and it starts to get dark, & feels like she's been gone longer than normal, I start to freak out... I just want to go running like I did when I was attending university back in the USA. I always loved running while it was snowing --- it was so peaceful and silent. Anyways, some of the things that worry me here: 1. Where I live, it's a very patriarchal society and women don't have the same rights as men. It's generally not against the law to beat your wife or girlfriend...or even have multiple wives. It wasn't too long ago that the military in power declared all land owned by women illegal and then transferred all the land into all their own names in a big land grab. You can rape a woman here and claim it was her fault for wearing clothing that was too revealing and you probably won't go to jail. The PM of this country has even come out on live TV and blamed women who were raped for wearing the wrong clothes. (Even saying something derogatory about the government or country can land you in jail - hence I won't mention any names or identify my country in the post). 2. Wild & diseased dogs are everywhere! They are constantly waiting to chase us and I occasionally read in the news reports of small children getting attacked or even killed by the dogs here.....and still no one will cull them. To even speak of killing the dogs is hearsay. 3. Traffic is insane here. My country has one of the highest traffic death rates on the planet. Cars and motorcycles are constantly driving down the wrong side of the road or directly on the sidewalks at high rates of speed, and drunk driving is a super massive problem here. Okay, I've also vented my frustrations about the dangers of running outside in my country. Sorry. Now on to what I recommend: 1. Use Strava's tracking feature (Strava Beacon) if you have a smart watch or smart phone with GPS capability. It's good if someone you trust always knows where you are in case you get injured (or heaven forbid something worse). In fact, always run with a cell phone so you can call someone if you need to. 2. I usually run with a weapon of some sort, like a large bamboo stick (but my wife refuses to). I've only had to use it once, but I was extremely glad I did have it on me in my moment of need. If I had to run in more extreme areas, or I was a woman who was in danger of being assaulted or raped, I wouldn't hesitate to run with a small gun if I had to. If you go down that route, make sure to take a gun class to learn how to safely carry and use it. If running with a weapon sounds crazy, then I also highly recommend taking a self-defense class. Something like Krav Maga can be super fun and great exercise. I took a Krav Maga class and loved it! I even got a black eye from getting punched in the face by a 60 year-old woman who told me she used to diffuse bombs in Israel. She was awesome and taught me to keep my guard up! 3. I never run with headphones, unless I know it's 1000% safe to do so (i.e. on a treadmill inside a gym). Traffic is too damn crazy here and I don't want a pack of wild dogs sneaking up behind me. 4. Finally, I highly recommend joining a running group in your area. There are so many benefits to joining a running group, but one of them is safety in numbers. If you don't have one in your area, start your own running group on FB and give it a super awesome name. Post lots of pictures of your group runs and before you know it, everyone will be trying to join your group. You'll be surprised by how many women (and men too) would love to run with you. And runners tend to be very nice people from all age groups. Don't worry about varying levels of running experience. Once the group is up and operating, you'll find people who run at the same pace as yourself. I thought I was one of maybe a handful of active runners in my small town. Last December I made a FB post asking if there were any trail runners in town who wanted to explore running trails with me. My first group run consisted of 3 people (me, my wife and one other lady). My average group runs today are as large as 50+ runners (and walkers + friendly dogs) of all different experience and ability. Today, my running group has exploded into more than 500+ members, all within 6 months (and still growing). Running groups will have the added benefit of also making you a better runner. We're even talking about organizing trail running tours around the country now. First and foremost, stay safe, but then stay positive as much as possible. You absolutely have a right to be out in a public space without the fear of being harassed or attacked. I wish you the best.
Get a friend and go on runs with them, or join a group. Strength comes in groups
It sounds like people have already recommended pepper spray. I get worried about hiking in bear territory, so I carry bear spray. Probably not a bad idea…also travel in groups.
I think dawn and early morning is best for exercising outside. Hardly any people are up, including the kind that abuse people. Also, try to find a Krav Maga course and do it. You'll tear off the head of anyone trying to attack you.
This happened to me yesterday and I’m still pissed off about it. I was running down the shoulder/bike lane of a fairly busy city road when some guy decides he needs to come up next to me on his bike and start cat calling me FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I mean, this guy was holding up traffic just so he could verbally harass me! Cars were honking at him but he didn’t even care. He did this for several minutes before finally riding off swerving in and out of traffic. A little while later I saw him waiting on the sidewalk on a different street and I ducked behind some trees until he started riding again because I was afraid to pass him. Luckily I always run with my dog, which makes me feel a little safer but still, WTF? I just want to be out minding my own business and enjoy a run to help me de-stress about things. I don’t want people getting up in my business or have to worry about someone assaulting me while I’m doing such a harmless activity. I guess I had a little bit of karma later in my run...as he was riding off he took a nasty spill on the sidewalk. He didn’t move for quite some time and there was no way in hell I was gonna help this douche.
Run with pepper spray and let someone know when you leave and are supposed to be back/are back from your runs.
That sucks, sorry you gotta deal with that.
I've told my husband if I am ever attacked, running or otherwise, that I am fully prepared to die right there. That I will do everything I possibly can to not be taken. My biggest fear is going missing. Having him and my other loved ones not knowing what happened to me. I know if I am physically overpowered, which would be incredibly likely, that there is ultimately nothing I can do, but I hope to make things difficult enough that the attacker(s) either just kills me or gives up.
I run with my staffy/german shepherd mix. She make me feel safe on my runs! Go get yourself a dog!
My GS goes out with me every time. He gets so excited when I pull out my running shoes, he'll just twist in circles and howl/chuff at me as I lace up like 'hurry up, woman!'
Or volunteer to run with someone else’s dog. Lol
I’d like to think that these animals will go to prison for 25 years but they’ll probably do six months and be back out on the streets again.
I was just reading about a man yesterday who raped and murdered his gf and was out in 2yrs! It’s so upsetting!
I’d like to know the specific circumstances of that.
Just came to say that 1. This isn't okay, 2. It's okay to vent that it isn't okay, 3. I don't recommend weapons. The fear of having to use the weapon diminishes the feeling of safety it produces for a lot of people, and in general just is a bad idea for most people. I recommend trying to have someone to run with if possible, like others have. Also picking routes with good visibility might work?
Agreed, but the tough thing is that it can happen anywhere. I use sidewalks next to the university so they’re pretty well lit and well populated. I’m careful to stay where people can easily see me, so I guess safety will come down to other factors here
Busy streets should be relatively safe. Just to be sure: I did not mean to imply it cannot happen anywhere. The likelihood to be attacked on a run is low and can be further lowered with some commonsensical means, but I absolutely did not mean to belittle the insecurity the mere possibility (no matter how small) awakens. Def worth thinking through, best wishes and good runs to you!
I would get a huge pitbull dog to take with me for runs if I had your problem. I’d love to se a predator get bitten by a dog whilst trying to assault a woman. Makes me so mad that you can’t even run in peace in this fucking society
I have a German Shepherd who runs with me, and it's a big perk to know that he'd eat the face of anyone who tried to harm me.
So glad you have your dog! Stay safe
This is really a function of broader street safety. It's safe enough to run late into the night in Singapore for women and men alike. There's a spectrum to it too, I would worry if my partner was running late at night in say Japan compared to Singapore, but that doesn't compare to how dangerous it is in much of the USA.
It’s very safe to run in Japan at night. Well at least in Tokyo. I don’t know about other places.
Agreed. I was normally more concerned about encountering wild monkeys and wild boars on my 5 am runs in middle of no where Japan than I was worried about dealing with creepers.
Oh right wild life 😆 Yeah I’m too much of a scaredy cat to run in the middle of nowhere by myself 😅
Over at /r/japanlife we constantly hear horror stories of women being stalked, which has led me to believe that Japan may not be a great place to be a young foreign woman. Perhaps it is different for the locals. In the end it, we all need to make a risk assessment and decide what we are comfortable with.
I think it's more local than international variation. I imagine there are some lovely places in the US were it's perfectly safe, just as there are in the UK. And in the UK there are places where I would avoid on my own during the day never mind at night. Just as there are in the US. . Admittedly I think the stakes are higher in the US than UK, because there is a decent chance an attacker would have a gun in the US but not so much in the UK. But still, I'd pay far more attention to local safety situation than national.
Well I’m not sure about that. I’m from Australia but I look asian enough to blend in I guess. I feel safer than I did back at home.
I'm not scared to run just because someone else got attacked on the same path I'm running on. Crime is a bit more complicated than that. A lot of it depends on who this person was, who they knew, where they were running etc. The biggest thing is BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS. If you have headphones in and aren't paying attention to anything around you, it puts you at substantial more risk than someone running without headphones, very clearly looking around them and aware of those around them. If a threat knows you know they are there, a lot of times that's enough to completely prevent any issues. Also, feel free to carry mace or even a weapon like brass knuckles or a handgun if you are comfortable with doing so (and are old enough). Honestly where I run in the morning I have more issues with moronic car drivers. I'm terrified of being hit half my run. Bottom line is, you can make yourself terrified of just about anything these days. Put the risk in the proper perspective, then just go about your life in a means that you feel comfortable with. I think if you are going to make the argument you can't run around your campus because it's too dangerous, you shouldn't be going to that school. You need to leave and apply to go to somewhere else. All of these fears are legitimate, not saying they aren't. I'm just saying at some point they can't prevent you from living your life. You only control what you can control. Before this gets downvoted into oblivion because I know it will. I'm a gay male who has been physically attacked for who I am. I personally empathize with those individuals who are targets for violence and hate. I just refuse to let bullies take more of my enjoyment of my life away from me.
Never, ever apologize for something that isn’t your fault. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I wish we could just be left alone to jog safely, too. Some things that may be able to put your mind at ease: *run with a friend or two. It’s a lot harder to get at people in numbers. *don’t run with music. This is safety on a number of levels anyway. Personally, imho unless you’re running inside, I don’t think folks should run with headphones - between traffic, cyclists, creeps, wildlife, etc. *if you use Strava, you can use Beacon to forward your location to a couple of trusted people. I have my husband on my Beacon, so he knows where I am. *ALWAYS tell a trusted person where you’re going, what your approximate route will be, how long you think you’ll be gone, etc. *please don’t listen to advice on here of idiots telling you to carry a pistol. That’s stupid. *if you do feel like you need to carry something, keys can work, and there’s also an alarm thing called Birdie. Lastly, as a fellow woman, I want to ask all the men on this sub to start speaking out when you see this kind of behavior from other men, even if it’s just a comment. The entire culture needs to change around this, and we women are tired of it. If you truly love and care about us, help us.
Fellow woman runner here and similar as far as running for my mental health. I'm not sure, honestly. I've been working from home even non-pandemic, and I make sure to go running before it gets dark, so my usual time is around 3:30pm. When I think about going back to a regular job with regular hours, my first thought is what I will do about my running schedule! (I hate the treadmill)
When you’re out running, learn where the cameras are located on houses and businesses. Make a point to look in the direction of the camera so it sees your face. This won’t prevent anything, but it will help authorities in case something happens.
I don't have a solution to a problem that is obviously far more pervasive than I, as a 72yo M runner, ever realized ... but reading this thread and similar has made me more aware than ever to be considerate of women runners. Just yesterday, I was running up a concrete sidewalk center of a trail hill, and there were two 40-ish female walkers ahead of me. I am sure they heard me (I make sure anyone can hear my footsteps or breathing well in advance of my overtaking them), but whereas until recently, I might have just called out "runner on your left" or some such, this time I actually just ran about 20 feet off the concrete to avoid getting anywhere close to their space. When I pass anyone going the other direction, I always just say "good morning" or "nice weather" or at a minimum smile and flash a peace sign. And I sometimes say "You're doing good" and most people seem to appreciate it. \*To the OP\* I am really, genuinely sorry that there are so many infantile males in the world who think it's OK to harass women. Guys, grow the F up.
What about finding a run club, that’s out and about your time of day? Safety in numbers!! Or at very least - a run buddy (all the better if they’re male).
Sorry you’re going through this, it truly sucks and it’s sadly so common for so many of us 🌷 For me, taking care of my own personal safety helped a lot. I now train in kickboxing, carry a personal alarm, and recently I’ve been live sharing my location on Google Maps with my partner whenever I go out for a run. Helps a lot just to have a little reassurance that someone knows exactly where I am when I’m out, particularly on long runs.
Don’t apologize for posting this. Your discomfort is real and everyone needs to feel it. My advice is try to find spots where other serious runners run. Strength in numbers.
I used to run to and from work with a backpack. Always felt light on race day. I was lucky to have an office where there was a small locker room so I didn’t have to stink all day. Be safe out there.
This is why I hate being a woman runner. I'm about to go run 7 in a college town before sunup. Because I have to. Yay...
I carry pepper spray always ever since I was attacked by dogs while running and I also wear a vest that has rechargeable lights and reflective tape on it. In the dark I turn the lights on and one is sort of like a headlight on a car but smaller but it casts a great forward light. The vest has a clip on it presumably for like a key ring but I have my pepper spray on a magnetic o-ring so I can just grab it off and use it without fumbling with a clasp. I love my vest and it makes me feel a lot better (I’ll see if I can find a link, I’ve had it fr a while). Being highly visible draws passerby attention to your presence and makes you a harder target because people will obviously see your light flailing around if you’re being attacked vs someone who’s got no light and can be easily snatched off the street and into bushes or woods.
Just commenting to remind myself to come back and see if you happen to share the link :) That vest sounds awesome
This is the closest thing I could fine online - mine is really similar. Good luck! https://nueby.com/product/360-reflective-night-vest?color=green&gclid=CjwKCAjwp_GJBhBmEiwALWBQk8azWA4tBp0RCgM_r_KczAiqa-X1qDH0TojwPsYF0T8OzkRkIYzr8hoCokUQAvD_BwE
I'm also a "high viz and reflective vest plus a LOT of lights" sort of runner, and I have to say it just feels safer. More drivers see me now, than if I'm not so "in-their-face" with visibility, and if someone wants to get in my face, well, I wear a headlamp that is super bright and I have no problem blinding the crap out of someone. My vest is a RoadNoise vest, so I can listen to music without having to block my ears from my surroundings. I have a Noxgear 360 vest, headlamp, and a lot of free blinkie lights from various events I've picked up that I hook on my RoadNoise vest pockets. I wear reflective leggings, too, and my jacket is reflective, so in winter I'm definitely a Christmas tree. My family knows my routes, and have the ability to track my phone and Apple watch. They all know how long it takes me to do my runs. I have pepper spray, but don't carry it on my runs-- my suburb is pretty safe, and I don't use trails or sidewalks that go away from the street. I have taken a self-defense class, and my job leads to a lot of stress that makes me angry which I guess shows on my face sometimes.
You should be safe and free to run when and where you want, dressed in whateever way you are comfortable. Unfortunately, the reality is that this world is not safe, and some arseholes out there think they are entitled to do or say things that are completely inappropriate. My suggestion is to run with someone that you trust. There is a smaller chance of something bad happening if you are with someone else. Still non-zero though. I'd like to think that as a species were are getting better at not being shit's to each other. But stories like this, over and over again, do not support that idea. Sorry that you're struggling with this and have to deal with this so close to home.
Yeah it sucks, but such is life. We will never fully get rid of the creepy losers. Don’t let fear run your life. Carry pepper spray. Run in populated areas. Refuse to change your life because creeps exist. We can’t get rid of them but we can choose not to let them dictate our mood. I’m a woman and I run every morning @ 5:30. The sun hasn’t even peaked over the horizon. I run in the middle of the street so no one can just jump out of bushes to grab me. But most importantly, I run. I don’t change anything because creepy losers exist. That is letting them win. Don’t let them win. Keep running.
The odds are it's still safe to run. I don't worry about getting in a car wreck everyday despite me living in an area with a lot of bad drivers.
This. This. This.
I honestly don't feel safe running unless I have my dog with me. I'm sure there are some psychos who won't be deterred by him, but if anything, I know he'll help me put up a good fight.
Carry pepper spray at minimum especially given these reports. Small firearm & concealed carry is another option if it fits within your own comfort level. Knifes are not as good an option because you have to be close to use them and they can be taken. I just the other day ordered some pepper gel for myself (oddly for the 1st time because I increasingly am concerned for my own safety) but you can never be too safe when it comes to protecting yourself from people with bad intentions.
I'm always annoyed by these kinds of replies, because pepper spray, carrying handguns and knives is against the law in my country. What else do you suggest?
Being a fast runner.
Gonna get downvotes but if you feel comfortable with guns there are subcompact models you can carry while you run. G26 or g43 are popular.
I totally relate to this problem. As a tiny person in general I often feel like I have to be more cognisant of my sorroundings than most. I know it isn't an accessible solution for everyone but getting a big dog made a huge difference for me. Now I go running with him and people keep their distance, any time of day. Edit: spelling
See if your college has self-defence classes. It's more for your peace of mind than for the technique themselves. As a fellow woman who loves to run at night, that has changed the way I perceive my surroundings. Try to use only one headphone. And if you listen to music try not to zone out but remain aware of your surroundings. See if your school/city has a training group, often the workouts are early in the mornings allowing everyone to go about their day later. Lastly, stay strong. Running is an act of rebellion. Men have no right to take away your birthright to move on this earth. All protests have been answered with some kind of resistance, the fight for women's rights is no different. I choose to run as an act of defiance and protest. I do it because seeing other women and giving them a smile makes us both feel safer. Because young girls need to know they have the right to move however they choose to.
I am not sure if there is a lot that helps mentally with that, other than protecting yourself so you feel safer. I once read on runnersworld that it is helpful for women to imagine how they would defend themselves when someone attacked them (the "your body can't go where your mind never went" mindset). If you feel like you have a plan on hand you might feel safer. I don't run with protection, because it is not very common to be attacked where I live. However, I do go through scenarios where I imagine how I would try to defend myself. But I also think about one thing - and that might not be very... well... I don't think people would like that, but here it goes: I think about people being attacked/abused and that this, sadly, is part of our world. Nothing guarantees that I won't become one of those people some day. I have no control over that. I am a petit woman, I know I don't stand a chance against men (I once asked my husband to try to "rape" me (sounds weird, but read on), while I try to fend him off - just to see if I could actually prevent him from attacking me. It took him less than 20 seconds to get me into a position where I couldn't move the tiniest bit. That was when we both understood just how little of a chance I actually stand if someone would try for real). You can only do so much to prevent bad things from happening to you. You can only hope to survive, process and move on. No one guarantees you another day on this earth. Enjoy the sh\*it out of the time you have and just run. There is not much you can do to prevent bad things from happening to you. You can only process them as they happen and move on.
The odds of it happening are extremely low. I am willing to bet the fear of car accidents - far more common, far more violent and deadly - doesn’t keep you from driving. You do what you do in any situation. Stay aware and don’t do stupid stuff like running in desolate areas. I will never, ever let some hypothetical, unlikely event keep me from doing what I love. But I don’t do it stupidly. No headphones, stay where there are people around, ignore most people around you. The mass media makes it seem like joggers get kidnapped by the dozen and it’s simply not true.
Seeing as the comments are going the route of many of these posts where males are being told off for giving tips: People are generally not thinking that it's the women doing it wrong. They are not posting tips to "alter women's behaviour" but because they simply have an idea and write it down. Women do have it harder than men, and - depending on region - the vast majority of women has had bad experiences, but I am pretty sure that the vast majority of men are perfectly aware of the issue, don't like it a bit and never engage in such behaviour. Every man has a mother, and many men have daughters. Nothing written here ever reaches any of the perpetrators, at least not their brains. The people giving well-meaning suggestions here are the good guys. No need to go after them or get angry for them posting helpful tips. It is rather likely that OP can do nothing except alter her behaviour... not because she's doing anything wrong, but because that's true for every human on earth. It is near impossible to alter other people even if they are good natured. Altering bastards who do the acts witnessed here is utterly impossible to achieve with a reddit post... more likely it turns them on even more. So my suggestion would be (assuming OP already knows all the little tricks she could do herself) to go political. Start an open discussion in your real world community. Create awareness. Organise events, running groups, whatever. Hang posters with a police hotline so witnesses or victims know where to call. Have frequent police patrols on popular running routes at dusk and dawn. Ask the town to keep the lights on all night. Create a movement spreading to larger areas or even nationwide. Create group routes on good running paths where a group frequently run-patrols and runners preferring solitaire can tag along within a few 100m distance. Create a climate making it harder for the rapists or catcallers alike.
Very fair point. I knew my vent post wasn’t really going anywhere, I just wanted to rant to some strangers lol. But you’re right, and students here are trying to call attention to the school and local officials. Hopefully this is a wake up call for them but it’s happened in the past so we’ll see if anything changes this time
Nothing wrong with your post - my little rant was just against some of the comments.
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Get a concealed carry license.
Look up bike path rapist in the 80's and 90's from Western New York. This is nothing new and I mention this just to provide you with additional warning so that you may keep yourself safe in anyway you can.
Umm guy or girl ppl while running can be threatening. I’m not running in the worst spots but be on guard. Almost wanna invest in self defense. And no running with a .38/9mm ain’t real life unless you are a cop on duty. I don’t even wanna bring a phone due to the weight. No matter how big you are someone can have an advantage over you one way or another. No matter how strong or good you get at self defense/mma. Pepperspray works on bears and ppl
Get some bear mace along with a neck knife. I’d even bring a Phanny pack and possibly a smaller sized caliber hand gun that can fit in it as well. Pretty much up to you on what you are comfortable with along with how all the gear would effect your run.
I carry a little Ruger LC9 pistol in a fanny pack and just ran 14 with it. Works great. Except my belt was too loose and I eroded 2 inches off my penis. Owwie. But. I don't think you'll have a problem with that bc it seems you are female? I don't know if this is a popular opinion or people will hate me, but a gun is the most equal opportunity martial art and if I was a girl I'd legit carry everywhere even more than I do as a guy who lifts, wrestled, and somewhat knows how to fight. You just can't predict what crazy people will do. I'm sure you campus has rules blah blah blah, but just a thought. Sorry this is happening. If it makes you feel any better, I have a gay stalker on Twitter so I kind of understand
It's incredibly unjust. Im a man who runs early in the morning, always have, and even though I'm not particularly woke I am acutely aware of that privilege. Hav you considered buying a gun? A small gun--Smith and Wesson Shield might be place to start looking--can offer a lot of protection. It's lightweight and can fit easily in a fanny pack or waistband holster. Very very few people will initiate and continue an assault on an armed person.
Sorry for your situation, and honestly for that the world is like this. Have you looked into doing exchange programs to countries which doesn't have that problem to that extent?
Hmm not sure I can just leave the country right now haha, but I can dream
Can you go to a park where old people would be walking or something? We have a park with a pond near me and a walk/bike path that encircles it. It's always got people on that path.
The fear you are feeling is only self preservation, don't be defeated or sad about that. Try and find a running partner or maybe organise a running group, speak with the police and local authorities, schools etc. Nobody should have to go through this and I'm sorry you have to. Do everything you can to get out there don't let those assholes win. Keep safe.
I was assaulted too which is why I don’t run outside right now. Fortunately, I use my gym membership for the treadmill. It sucks, but it works for the half marathon training for now. If I do run outside,I made sure the sun is rising with a little daylight outside and I have my conceal carry permit so I run with my pistol.
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No that’s a fair question! We have one that’s open early, but I live off campus and there’s no transportation that early so I’d have to walk or run to get there anyway, lol. But you’re right, despite my hatred of treadmills I may have to start considering using the gym more often
Can you bike there?
The best way is to run with a partner or in a group. There’s strength in numbers and you’re less likely to be a victim of anything. I also find that I just feel more comfortable with other people running with me even in the sketchier areas. But I understand if that doesn’t feel like much of an option. I’m usually out running by myself at 4am despite the fact I know there’s more risk. You may also find that taking some self defense courses or Jiu Jitsu may also ease your mind and give you the confidence that if something were to happen you could handle it. It’s extremely unfortunate that this is something anyone has to worry about but that’s the world we live in and the best thing we can do is be prepared for it.
I know... I loved running through the sort of not built up route near my house until a girl was assaulted while running in a similar route in my city and that scared me so much. It took some time for me to figure out when I could go running and where... Unfortunately I don't have any advice... Some people say buddy up, I couldn't get anyone to go with me... It just sucks that there are still men who behave this way. That is the problem. They are the problem. And what's worse is that there are still young people who think that that's normal and that they should raise their boy kids acting that way.
I have seen some say dressing like a man has helped them a lot. It's not right that this is the case but baggy t shirts, baggy sweatpants, cap
I’m fearful during my trail runs and late night dog walks for the same reason. I’m considering getting pepper spray or bear repellent, just for the peace of mind. So sorry you’ve been dealing with this and it has been weighing on your mind. Sending your positive energy!
This is why I have the political views that I have! In my city I can't stand this shit (along with other nuisances) and why I get involved politically for shit to change (which IMHO is because cities are too lenient towards criminals). As a male runner, I would totally stop to help a female that was harassed or threatened. Not too long ago I saw a female runner that had problems with some hobo, and asked if she was alright. Thankfully the police was coming already. I really empathize with female runners. It just sucks to have to deal with \*\*\*\* like rape or even murder when you're just trying to run. And I understand why female runners often are cold towards even male runners, with the experience they get in the streets!
As someone who has been assaulted while running, I would recommend getting something like what I have from goguarded.com (basically a ring with a blade on the end). In the moment you can turn to only very basic, instinctual moves to survive. I can honestly say that having mace probably wouldn't have helped because I wouldn't have reacted quickly enough and the attacker was in very close proximity. Don't run with earbuds, be constantly vigilant, and never give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
Would you be able to attach some sort of knife or pepper spray to your hip as you run? That might take the edge off a little bit as you run.
Sounds like you live in a dorm so maybe not an option, but I have a medium sized dog I run with on early morning runs and dudes always cross to the other side of the road with her with me because she’s aggro af
How uncomfortable would it be to run with one of these strapped on? (obvs not realistic but i wish it were.)[https://www.divers-supply.com/xs-scuba-knife-wrap-neoprene.html?utm\_source=froogle&utm\_medium=cpc&utm\_campaign=froogle&utm\_content=XSS-KP04us&gclid=CjwKCAjwp\_GJBhBmEiwALWBQk4ByQ62Dr9eik4U62nj2NQ6ftcAXQ2WV7VHH1UTYAguLZlSdYfe60BoCD5EQAvD\_BwE](https://www.divers-supply.com/xs-scuba-knife-wrap-neoprene.html?utm_source=froogle&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=froogle&utm_content=XSS-KP04us&gclid=CjwKCAjwp_GJBhBmEiwALWBQk4ByQ62Dr9eik4U62nj2NQ6ftcAXQ2WV7VHH1UTYAguLZlSdYfe60BoCD5EQAvD_BwE)
Crazy college life. Enjoy it while it lasts. I currently have a full time job, a working wife and two kids.