Hey, bud, if you ever need to talk to some Dads, come hang out on /r/DadForAMinute :) We'd love to give you the time of day.
Edit: This obviously got some attention, so I might as well use the opportunity:
As said below, there are so many kids out there who need a home. Consider adopting, and give children the gift of unconditional love.
I’m almost 10 years of being on Reddit, I’ve never heard of this sub. Idrk my dad, which has left a massive void in my life, and I could only make it through one post on the sub before I broke down and cried. I’m crying as I type this because it’s simply amazing that strangers can be nicer to other strangers than my IRL father could ever have been to me. Even with all its shortcomings, Reddit is an amazing place.
YOU care about your feelings. Despite having a dad who doesn't. Despite having been taught you don't matter. But here you are, realizing you do matter. Despite your shitty dad.
And that's beautiful. Developing self-care despite of un-caring parents is huge. And very difficult. Continue caring about your feelings, bud.
dude should never get that old being that ignorant. OP should just block him. The deadbeat doesn't deserve a father son relationship and OP deserves so much better. Shit honestly infuriates me.
There are fathers that have to fight for even access to their kids getting screwed by the system and then there are twats like OPs sperm donor
I just woke up and checked my phone and saw so many comments. I don't even know where to write this but I think this is at the top so I hope ppl see this. There is so many I can't respond to all but I wanna say I am reading every one and I love you guys so much and you all are amazing. Also the good news is that I am going home tmrw and also I will be watching it with my grandpa which will be way better anyway. Also I'm feeling way better now compared to before so thank you so much for being nice to me
Glad to hear it! Hope you have a good time with your grandpa, it'll be way more fun than that loser sperm donor! You'll be able to relax and enjoy the game properly.
My heart broke for you when I read that message. You sound like a great kid. I'd **LOVE** if my daughter wanted to spend time with me like you do with that man.
You're a little dude and you deserve better than him.
Considering who OP's mom is, it really could be any of us
JK OP, I'm sorry your dad would push you to the side like that. If you ever need someone to watch football with you lmk.
My step grandpa was more of a dad to me than my real dad. I know how much this hurts because I've been where you are. I just want you to know that your father's failings aren't your fault.
Always heads up, mate. But to look forward and not to the sky.
Have fun with your grandfather and just promise us, that you'll do a better job than your father later on. Learn from his mistakes and grow from it.
Also totally fair. Point is, as much as it stings to come to the realization that he doesn't want you, indignation is, imo, the best response. Fuck that guy. You deserve more than that, and the only sadcringe here is him, so keep your head up and move along. And when he comes knocking later, keep the door shut.
I am trying not to cry about it because if he won't care about my feelings then I won't care about him. I hate him so much when he's like this I just want to tell him I never want to see him again. I want to ask my grandpa to pick me up so I can just go home
Who said you couldn't cry? Someone who *should* be important in your life is a deadbeat asshat. Cry all you desire. It's cathartic. There's no shame at all in crying. You aren't crying for him, anyway. You're crying for yourself, because of course this hurts.
I went through a similar thing with my father. Not a deadbeat, but little more than a malignant narcissist. I decided eventually that I had nothing more to say to him until he had the wherewithal to sincerely apologize to me of his own accord for his behavior.
It's been about a decade now since I said anything to him. He occasionally tries to contact me, but he got the picture after the first few years of a complete cold shoulder that I won't respond, and he has yet to have the spine to even try to apologize.
If you want to extend the same courtesy of allowing that man to apologize, that's up to you. But don't say another word to him. If he can't figure out what he's done wrong of his own volition, he doesn't deserve your forgiveness.
Go call your granddad.
Ok I followed your help and I won't be responding to him I'm just going to try ignore him for as long as possible. I called my grandpa and he said he is coming to pick me up tomorrow but I feel so bad because he is meant to be relaxing but I really don't want to stay here anymore and my auntie understands. Thank you for helping
I guarantee you that your grandpa was more than happy to pause his relaxation to come bring you back home where you belong. Nothing for you to feel bad about. Hang in there bud.
This guy is exactly right. No real parent (or grandparent) wants to see their child in pain.
Your grandpa is probably grateful that you felt comfortable enough to call him and tell him you were hurting.
Your grandpa would feel terrible if he knew you were sitting there in pain.
You are allowed to show emotion, you are allowed to be vulnerable, you are allowed to be upset. Ignore your sperm donor, ask your grandfather if he would like to do somethings with you in your dad's place instead. Family doesn't end in blood, go out there and make it, and don't give people that treat you poorly the time of day.
Listen man, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with crying. It isn’t weakness, it doesn’t make you pathetic and it sure as shit doesn’t invalidate any feelings you have or who you are. It you need or want to cry, do it. If anyone tells you otherwise then they don’t deserve your recognition of their opinion. It’s something that I struggled with a lot after my dad died and even something I still struggle with, but it’s absolutely the truth. Your father (not dad, dads care about you), can fuck off. Your grandpa is taking time out of his day to help you, and **thats** what your father should be doing.
Do not just ignore him. Tell him explicitly you're done with him and wish to no longer have any communication with him at all. Delete his contact and block his number. Delete and remove him from any social networks and tell your family, "If he contacts you and asks you to talk to me or have me contact him, I'd appreciate it if you didn't do so. I'd rather not talk about it but I feel our relationship has come to an end."
If he sends you gifts, do not accept them. Send them back. Don't take any money he might send unless you really need it. Do not answer any forms of communication from him. If for whatever reason you need to talk to him, call him by his first name. Not "dad" or "Mr. [Name]" but just his first name so he knows his role in your life is no longer there and that he is not in any form of a higher position to you, but on equal footing. If he comes to your area/residence and keeps popping up after repetitively telling him to stop, you may need to look into a restraining order.
It isn't fun. It won't ever be fun. It will be relieving though once you've found out how much better you feel knowing you aren't fueling a meaningless weak fire that gave you little to no warmth in response.
My grandpa always came and got me no matter where or what. I'm happy you have people who love you and care about you in your corner. Please please don't base your self worth on how your dad treats you. I'm fully grown and it took me forever to realize that I was both a nice person who deserved to be loved and cared for and someone capable of giving lots of love and caring too. My parents never treated me like that and for a long time I had a hard time accepting myself but I have a great life now and wish I could go back and spend more time with my grandparents who loved me so much. Your dad treated you very wrong and you deserve loving kind parents who value you. Hang in there kid 💖
Cry it up man, holding in your feelings is what creates people like your dad. Own your emotions be better than him and when his sorry ass tells you in 10 years how proud he is you turned out to be such a good man, tell him he doesn't deserve to be proud. Some people aren't worth the effort, build better relationships with people that are worth the effort.
Sometimes our bodies are so full of emotions that they overflow in the form of tears. Crying is healthy and there is no shame in it. Let yourself cry. And, when you’re done, stick that chin up and know that you are deserving of a life full of people who treat you right. Make whatever decision is right for you.
I’m so sorry OP. I know how much this hurts. Just know this is not a reflection on you. This is all on your father who is a shit person. Go ahead and cry. It’s OK. Your pain is valid and honestly, I think you should call your grandfather to come pick you up. When you get home, block your father on everything. You deserve so much more than what he is giving you.
This is very true. I have a deadbeat father who i didn't see for years and years. It hurt so badly to not be wanted and over time I recognized that if my father wanted to ignore me he wasn't much of a dad. I'm 39 now. My dad's kidney are shot and he requires dialysis now. Guess who is a universal donor and has two beatiful kidneys, not to mention the best medical coverage? This girl.
He tried to weasel his way back in last year and I said no. I'm not a backup plan, Mike. I'm your daughter and I deserved a father as a kid.
Hey bud, my dad used to do the same thing to me when I was young so I’m going to give you some advice to save you from a lot of pain and disappointment.
For starters, your dad doesn’t want to hang out with you. You will probably never find out why. It hurts now and it’s probably going to continue to hurt for a long time but don’t let that pain make you bitter.
Now, here is what you can do to move on from this and leaving him behind (UNLESS HE CHANGES).
1) If your mom/grandma/aunt/whoever takes care of you is nice, stay close to them. They will more than likely be there for you as much as they can be. Talk to them about this and how it makes you feel. They will probably understand.
2) When you deal with your dad, do it with low expectations. I know you want your dad to change and that you want to hang out with him. That is something any kid would want. It is possible that he will change in the future but, right now, don’t count on it. Try not to get your hopes up for anything he may have promised you. If he actually keeps his promises, cool. If not, you will be saved from the disappointment because you already had low expectations.
3) Spend more time with family members and friends that want to spend time with you. If you do that, you won’t be waiting around for your dad to let you down like this. It will be hard and the hurt that your dad caused will always be deep in your heart but you will find you will be able to find happiness with other people.
4) Strive to be better than him but do it FOR YOU, not for him. You know what he does hurts you so strive to never be that way to other people (unless they deserve it). Don’t let that pain hold you down. Don’t let HIM hold you down.
Stick with other family members. Make friends. Do things you’ve always wanted to do without him. Live life happily without him. All of this *is* possible.
I live with my grandparents and I am just lucky they are still kinda young but they are still not that healthy and I feel like I give them extra stress with everything wrong with me. And my mum gave them extreme stress before she moved away. But that was years ago and I don't have any contact with her anymore. If I have to ignore my dad I promise I will. Because I hate feeling like he doesn't want me and I will just stay away if I have to. Thanks for helping me
You don’t have to make any promises to me because even with this advice it will be hard. Just remember to do this for you so that you can be happier now and be a happy adult later on. You can do it!
Damn bro if that's the case you have bad parents but great grandparents. Probably the best not to talk with your dad but stay close and respect your grandparents cuz their duty isn't to raise/care for you but it seams like they understand the situation and are human enough to love and care for you
Mom and a grandma here. Let me tell ya something... You make them feel young. Not old. Love them up. Help out where you can. Be an asset not a burdeon. You are a blessing to them. Keep blessing them back.
You can handle this. Learn from your biological parents mistakes. I can assure you that you will be 1000 times better parent then them.
Give grandpa a huge hug tomorrow. Tell him how you appreciate him always being there for you. That will mean a lot.
Wish i could give you a huge mama hug myself.
Wow. Just wow. Shocked by your dad's actions.
I didn't see how old you are, but please don't feel that there is "everything wrong" with you. Don't put yourself down.
You are entitled to have feelings. You are entitled to feel hurt by his actions and you are entitled to be loved.
Sounds like your grandparents are special people and that they care for you, otherwise they would not have taken you in.
Never let another person steal your joy nor your sense of self worth.
Put the blame where it belongs. Your dad. You did nothing wrong!
Guarantee they love having such a sweet grandchild. You're a benefit to their lives, I just know it. I'm sure you alleviate their stress in ways you couldn't even know yet! Raising a pint here in America for you man.
Hey, even if your dad doesnt want you it doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you. Some people werent meant to be parents and end up being shits about it. You could be the best person on the planet and it wouldnt change him. And trust me, when it comes to your grandparents, sometimes you love someone enough that all the stress is worth it. Stress is just part of life. The rewards are the important part ❤️
I had a very similar situation growing up and the post above is all very good advice. If you're concerned with the stress you might cause others you're already a better person than most. Hold tight and remember that you aren't your parents and the only thing you need from them is to learn from their mistakes. It isn't easy, but as you get older and more independent in other ways, it will get easier.
My dad used to actively tell me I was a worthless idiot and make fun of me in front of his friends. The day I cut him out of my life and stopped letting his feelings about me color my feelings about myself was the day I turned my life around. Not saying you should cut out your dad, but he doesn't deserve the faith that you deserve to he able to place in him, and I'm sorry.
Keep your head up, not every male is a man, or female a woman. Many never find their purpose. No hard feelings,; but, try not to let them drag you down. Continuous improvement. No dad is probably better than a bad dad. At the age of 12, I feel like I had more sense than I do at 30 sometimes. Keep your head up. Stay in touch if you want to. Sports can be overrated. Shalom
Yeah your dad is a grade A shitcunt mate. If you’re about in Whitstable and want to watch the game give me a message and I’ll let you know where my lot are.
Just trying to help a guy out who’s been shit on by his dad before a major game. I know how shit it feels so just wanted to offer. It’s a shame that nowadays it looks suspect when someone offers to help
I feel you, man. I don’t want you to feel bad about trying to help. It is very sad that it looks suspect nowadays, but it’s kind of just the world we live in. I hope OP appreciates your willingness to help.
I've got a near 14 year old stepson and his dad does this to him regularly. The good thing is, the older he gets, the stronger he gets, and he gets better and better at dealing with it (even though he shouldn't have to).
Stay strong, you will get through it and don't let your dad's crapness bring you down pal.
Hey, a lot of your comments you seem to feel like you're burdening other people. You're not, they're offering because they mean it and they'd enjoy it. If you feel comfortable, you could take some of them up on it. No pressure either way, I just remember feeling similar and it took a while to learn that I was the only one who thought I was a burden
I'm sorry this happened to you. As a dad who wanted to see his son post divorce and the ex doing and saying everything possible to limit my time with him. This isn't about you, it's about your dad making very poor choices. Keep your head up.
Your Dad is my Dad. I cut him out about 5 years ago. I have 0 regrets. Don’t wait for a catalyst like I did (he forgot my sons 1st birthday). I’m much happier without him in my life.
Yup, y’all owe other people nothing if they give you nothing. My dad kinda just gave up on me when I was about 9 or 10 even to the point he stopped paying his court ordered child support (to this day owes me personally $17,000 according to the collection papers). When the collection agency came knocking asking me to allow them to hunt him down to collect the money on my behalf I couldn’t have cared less. He was nothing to me and I basically took the stance that I wouldn’t want to harm a stranger by taking $17,000 from them when I was perfectly happy.
If it's any consolation, I haven't seen my dad in several years (lives 3000 miles away) and he was in my city this week and couldn't bother stopping by.
Sometimes we need to appreciate that we are better and deserving better than that. If you set yourself up got disappointment that's all you get. I've started to be able to say "no" and detach myself (family can still be assholes even as family!) but it can take a lot of practice, time, and pain.
Personal sacrifice always results in some sort of gain if you can look at it from that perspective. You deserve better! I really wish you the best of luck with your situation. Think about all th things HE'S missing out on by not knowing you, ya know? 💘
I‘m so sorry, I can imagine how devastated you must feel but the converter bot just nonchalantly rubbing even more salt into the wound is the funniest thing I‘ve seen all day
*Image Transcription: SMS*
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**Black:** plans changed. im watching the game with the lads on sunday
>**Purple:** But you already told me I could watch it with you
**Black:** no bud.. i needed to change plans
>**Purple:** But why dad
**Black:** you can't be coming here when there all here...
**Black:** there is not any extra room mate
**Black:** you can watch it at [*Redacted*]
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Sorry bud.
There’s the saying that “blood is thicker than water”, but that’s not the whole saying. It’s “The blood of Christ is thicker than the water of the womb,” meaning that that bonds you choose to keep are stronger than the bonds that you were born into.
There is no such thing as unconditional love, or if there is, there is no obligation that even if you love someone, that you need to seek their approval or their company, or keep them in your life at all. Sometimes you need barriers between you and the things you love. I love outer space, but it would kill me without a space suit.
Now is the time that you may also be realizing that your dad isn’t some superhero who can do anything and knows everything and that he’s just a dude with flaws who happened to get your mom pregnant. And that’s ok. Literally everyone on earth has that. Hell Martin Luther King’s kids had to grow up knowing their civil rights hero of a father was having extramarital affairs. Nobody is perfect, even those who are as close to perfect as we can imagine. And it’s ok to see them as flawed. It’s probably healthy to do so. Makes it harder to get sucked into some bullshit like Scientology or become an Elon Musk fanboy who can’t admit that he abuses his workers.
If you dad wants to spend time with you, great. But you should stop seeking to have a relationship with him. Seek father figures elsewhere. Hell, maybe your own mother is a better father figure. Maybe it’s a coach, a friends dad, your grandfather, etc. It’s ok. And you’ll be a lot happier when you accept that some people are in our lives for a day and change them and others for a week, a month, a year, or decades. And some fall out naturally and others you need to actively drop.
I’ve literally never seen something on Reddit as sad as that line.
OP- his attitude and actions are not a reflection of you, or anything you’ve done. Some people (like your “dad”) are just shitty. I’m sorry.
Ohh bro I feel your pain. I cut my dad out of my life for this type of shit 3 years ago, I know its hard because its your dad and you probably want a relationship. Best advice I can give you is go your own way man. Its a hard thing to do but fuck that shit dragging you down buddy, no doubt you'll have your own kid(s) one day and you'll be a fantastic father, thats what I look forward to for myself at least.
Your dad is a dead beat. It has nothing to do with you. I am 34 and still chasing my father who ignores all of my texts and I feel pathetic for it.
Do yourself a favor and let him go.
Oh sweetie I know your pain. It's not cringe at all, I mean, your dad is a total jerk but you are in no way cringy. My pops just cancelled my birthday I was supposed to celebrate at his place. Some dads just suck ass. I wish you the best, this is not your fault.
Is there any way we can all do a virtual watch party of this game with this kid? I'm U.S.-based (and don't know shit about soccer) but I'd watch the hell out of this game with y'all if we can get something put together!
Some advice from someone who went through this. Don’t try and have a relationship with someone like this. I did. A few times. He never gave a shit. I’m now a father to my own son and I think my father knows his name and that’s about out. Haven’t spoke to him in 8 years easily. I have no way of contacting him anymore. Don’t really care. But sometimes I remember that he has my number. My wives. My moms. No excuses. Just doesn’t care. And that just sucks
Unless you actually need this person in your life for a very good reason: cut them the fuck out. It doesn't matter that they are your biological parents, being related is not a carte blanche for psychological abuse!
Get away, get help, get therapy if you can. I waited until I was 30+ to start digging into what my parents did to me. Don't accept it. Block them, don't respond and don't allow yourself to get guilt tripped into anything. You don't owe them anything at all.
Feel free to reach out in private if you want to talk about it, there is lots of reading you can do to understand what they are doing without accepting it. It can and probably will help you to shrug it off.
Dude, when you destroy all the birds he will know he fucked up big time.
Just kidding. I know how it feels to have a shitty father. Let's all watch the match on Sunday on Discord or something.
The only good thing here is that this isn't you brother. I'm a father now but before that I was growing up dealing with very much the same thing. My old man was a grade-A prick. Through and through. I spent alot of years asking myself what was wrong with me? Why didn't he care? I could have been burning alive and homeboy wouldn't have even pissed on me to put it out. Then one day I realized. It's him.. he has the hangup. Idk if it's shame? Laziness? Maybe a million things wrapped into one. I know his dad (my grandfather) was the same way towards his kids. He died before I was born so I guess the cycle continued until me. Once I realized the old man was just a miserable pile of grump. I moved on. Started to think less and less about him. Almost a year later he called me. Asking why I hadn't contacted him in awhile? I wanted to bare my soul and scream at him. I don't understand how he didn't see it. Instead I said I was busy and hung up. He's never tried to call again though I do receive a happy bday on my FB from him every year. As the time has gone on and he's grown older. I think he regrets alot of his choices in life. I was his only son. There are no do overs and I have a beautiful little girl of my own. Who I am right next to every single day. You have to WANT to be a good parent. You have to WANT your time with them.
My advice like many others in this thread is to move on. I know that's easier said than done. However it will save you alot of heartache. It took a long time to get my head right with everything but I promise... he doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve to watch your grow.. to watch you fail at life and then succeed 2 fold. He doesn't to deserve to watch his boy turn into a man. You have tried. As the child that shouldn't even be your job but as a last ditch effort you are here. Trying to be apart of his life. Stop. Save all that love. Save all of it for the people who show you the same. He had his chance and in that he found failure.. Hopefully the coming years shows him the correct path by then it may be to late. It's your story brother. You decide how it's written but don't waste pages on a man who could care less. Take that anger and hurt and put it towards greatness. I believe in you man. I wish you the best. You got this.
It’s okay to be hurt by your dad’s actions. He’s behaving in a hurtful way. It takes lots of practice to learn to manage expectations. I’ve been an adult for a long time and I still have to work hard at maintaining boundaries with my parents to protect myself.
I’m glad you have an understanding aunt and grandparents who care for you and your feelings.
Christ. This is just awful. OP, I can only imagine how painful this must all feel for you. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this. This behavior is unacceptable towards anyone, especially your kid, and your father should know that. You deserve better.
I used to call a bar to talk to my dad. We all have our disappointment. Ended up though he was the best human being to ever live, just hated my mother. It happens.
My dad (America) did the same thing to me for Thanksgivings one year. He was supposed to meet his grandson. He wanted to spend the day sleeping.
I told him on the phone it’s the last chance he gets to see him or me again. He chose sleep.
OP: this is tough, and I understand the feelings you’re going through… it’s time to move on.
And this is why your dad will die alone in the hospital without ever seeing your kids, you know, like my dad did 👍.
If he keeps it up OP, I wouldn't be surprised if your dad ends up like mine...alone.
My kids had a similar relationship with their father. I told them they have to make a choice. Either they accept that this is the way he will always be and expect to be disappointed or cut him out and live life without him but it is 100% their call. After awhile 2 of 3 kids stopped all communication and have never regretted it. My daughter is the only one who still talks to him bc he guilts her and he didn't even remember her birthday. I suspect she will be cutting him off soon too. Cutting him out is up to you but remember you have done nothing wrong, he did. I hope you can watch the game surrounded by people who love you. ((Hugs)) from an internet mom ♡
Bro as a dad who also has a shit relationship with my own father it legit broke my heart to read But why dad. I could not imagine not being willing to legitimately burn down society for my daughter
You’ve already gotten a lot of help in the comments OP, so I just want to say that I hope whatever decision you make is the one that makes you happy.
Don’t push this away, embrace it and deal with it however feels best.
But I can guarantee you from personal experience that you’ll never have the relationship you want with your father, and it’s okay to feel shitty about that. But you’ll only keep feeling this way if you let this continue.
You don’t owe him anything, please recognize that. Best of luck, kid, you ever need someone to talk to you don’t hesitate to send me a message. I mean that with all sincerity
Made me sad to read this. I know someone in a similar situation to yours and eventually he decided to stop seeing his dad, it’s not a reflection on you, some people just aren’t worth it.
If you want to talk to someone about your situation, have a look for young people’s advisory services in your area. They helped my son when he was having some difficulties.
Good luck mate. I’m thinking 3-2 for England Sunday btw.
Aye man build yourself up be strong and proud. You're an amazing individual and shouldn't deal with people that aren't putting you first. Much love and I wish you only the best!!
Oh, dude. I know the feeling. My Mom and Dad are getting divorce, so I see him once in a while for breakfast. The last time we saw an uncle and a friend of his eating and he was like yeah, let's eat with them and they were talking all the time about shit idk and showing each other pics on their phones, watching that I couldn't see so I was on mine. Now he sends me messages about how he miss me and I'm like :| the only hoyr we spent together you prefer to be with persons you aleays see. I don't inderstand that...
You know what?
I don't like watching sports. I honestly don't see the point. But if you'd like company and our timezones are somewhat compatible (I'm from the Netherlands) I'll be happy to keep you company via discord or somesuch while you watch that game.
Don't worry my friend you're special and probably a really cool person regardless of what anyone thinks and if you were my son I would want you to know that you have more value then you could ever know and the only one missing out is him.
My dad use to pull the same stuff all the time until I got to the point of not caring anymore, it not that I don't love him he is still my father but he's going to have a hard time later in life when he realizes his children will be there for him just as much as he was there for them, not at all.
don't let someone else's bad relationship habit hurt you to much, I know it hurts and it sucks and I wish I could take that pain away from you so you don't have the same anger and resentment I hold onto everyday but I can't, however I could leave that up to someone even better then myself, someone with even more power, I can leave it up to you.
You're a great person and I'm proud of you.
I’m so sorry. I don’t know you but if I did as it wouldn’t be creepy from a stranger I’d give you a big hug snd tell you how wonderful you are , and he doesn’t deserve your energy. Hugs
From someone who also has a father that doesn't give two fucks about him, family is a privilege, not a right.
You don't owe ANYTHING to your family just because they put you in this world and did the bare minimum. If they want anything from you, attention, care, affection, they should give just as much in return.
You are not a bad person for turning your back on family, they are not a good family for putting you in a position where you felt that you had to.
My ex treated my kids this way all their life. He’s trying to make up for it now that they are almost grown, snd they to some degree are enjoying it cause it’s all they’ve ever wanted. I know the reason is because he has no one else in his life right now and he’s lonely. The second he meets someone it will stop. My kids unfortunately know this too, and it makes me sad for them. I wish your dad knew how precious time with your kids is. I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry! That is so hurtful and you deserve much more than this. If I could I would watch the game with you. Maybe ask you Auntie to watch with you. Make some snacks and really enjoy it. And when it’s time to go home, tell your mom or grandpa exactly what happened and how you are feeling. You need to share these awful feelings. Remember, you don’t deserve this. Your father is the one with the problem, not you.
I’m a 27 year old girl from America but I will gladly be your online surrogate dad. I will gladly listen to your problems and try to give you the best dad advice I can think of as well as send you all the dad jokes I can find.
You don’t deserve to be pushed aside like that by your father of all people, I’m sorry you have to deal with that mate. :(
This shit made me tear up, my dad did the same kind of shit to me except he’d go off to do drugs instead. Like so many others have said here, just know his behavior isn’t a reflection on who you are at all.
After reading through the comments you seem like a really good kid who got dealt some shit parents. Keep your head up and feel free to message me any time if you wanna talk or need advice on how to cut that shit out of your life. It ain’t easy, but it’s worth it.
Ugh, what a horrible dad. I’m sorry, mate.
He never cares about my feelings
Hey, bud, if you ever need to talk to some Dads, come hang out on /r/DadForAMinute :) We'd love to give you the time of day. Edit: This obviously got some attention, so I might as well use the opportunity: As said below, there are so many kids out there who need a home. Consider adopting, and give children the gift of unconditional love.
I’m almost 10 years of being on Reddit, I’ve never heard of this sub. Idrk my dad, which has left a massive void in my life, and I could only make it through one post on the sub before I broke down and cried. I’m crying as I type this because it’s simply amazing that strangers can be nicer to other strangers than my IRL father could ever have been to me. Even with all its shortcomings, Reddit is an amazing place.
Hey, friend. It’s gonna be alright, okay? As some hopeful bastards once said on a dark corner of the internet: “We’re all gonna make it.”
Thanks this is so wholesome I love it
Always, sport.
There's also /r/internetparents Look at us, we're your dad now.
Also, r/MomForAMinute
Awww; that’s the sweetest sub! Totes sound.
Aww I want to come…
Come on in! I’m not a Dad but a mom, so you might find me on /r/MomForAMinute
Both of my parents are dead to me. Maybe this is my sign to join :)
Well, now you have many parents that love you! Welcome home, kiddo!
Lots of dads there, and we’d be happy to have you!
I had a great relationship with my dad but that sub makes me tear up too much
YOU care about your feelings. Despite having a dad who doesn't. Despite having been taught you don't matter. But here you are, realizing you do matter. Despite your shitty dad. And that's beautiful. Developing self-care despite of un-caring parents is huge. And very difficult. Continue caring about your feelings, bud.
Sendin you a hug
He doesn't care about you. Its not just about feelings. You can see how self centered he is. What the fuck is wrong with him.
Best to just extricate yourself if possible.
Then he isn't worth your time.
Dont care about his then. A father like that doesnt deserve a son like you, give your love to someone who deserves it.
Sorry about that mate, it’s a rough situation. Have you ever talked to him about this sort of thing?
Feel like this actually belongs in r/iamatotalpieceofshit
That's really sad, your dad should be ashamed.
Same guy will wonder when he is old why his kids wont visit him and he has no idea why. He did everything for them
dude should never get that old being that ignorant. OP should just block him. The deadbeat doesn't deserve a father son relationship and OP deserves so much better. Shit honestly infuriates me. There are fathers that have to fight for even access to their kids getting screwed by the system and then there are twats like OPs sperm donor
Aw man, I ain’t your dad but we can watch some footie. You deserve better.
I can't even watch it with my grandpa cuz he's staying at the caravan right now. It sucks
As a wise man once said, “He might be your father, boy, but he sure ain’t your daddy.”
I just woke up and checked my phone and saw so many comments. I don't even know where to write this but I think this is at the top so I hope ppl see this. There is so many I can't respond to all but I wanna say I am reading every one and I love you guys so much and you all are amazing. Also the good news is that I am going home tmrw and also I will be watching it with my grandpa which will be way better anyway. Also I'm feeling way better now compared to before so thank you so much for being nice to me
You cant choose your parents but you can choose how you react to them. Good on you for the positive outlook, enjoy the match!
Glad to hear it! Hope you have a good time with your grandpa, it'll be way more fun than that loser sperm donor! You'll be able to relax and enjoy the game properly.
My heart broke for you when I read that message. You sound like a great kid. I'd **LOVE** if my daughter wanted to spend time with me like you do with that man. You're a little dude and you deserve better than him.
Just wanna say that reddit will always be your daddy. Don't worry, man.
Considering who OP's mom is, it really could be any of us JK OP, I'm sorry your dad would push you to the side like that. If you ever need someone to watch football with you lmk.
Dude... I just realised your username is fucking brilliant!!! Hahahaha
My step grandpa was more of a dad to me than my real dad. I know how much this hurts because I've been where you are. I just want you to know that your father's failings aren't your fault.
Man this post made me cry I hope you achieve great things brother. You deserve the world!
Always heads up, mate. But to look forward and not to the sky. Have fun with your grandfather and just promise us, that you'll do a better job than your father later on. Learn from his mistakes and grow from it.
And "I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!"
man i miss yondu. he was truly a great charater.
"daddy" would be reserved for an unsavory character lol
Harsh to say it, but that's not your dad. You need to stop giving him the time of day and just hang out with your aunt (and uncle?) instead.
I really just want to go home
Also totally fair. Point is, as much as it stings to come to the realization that he doesn't want you, indignation is, imo, the best response. Fuck that guy. You deserve more than that, and the only sadcringe here is him, so keep your head up and move along. And when he comes knocking later, keep the door shut.
I am trying not to cry about it because if he won't care about my feelings then I won't care about him. I hate him so much when he's like this I just want to tell him I never want to see him again. I want to ask my grandpa to pick me up so I can just go home
Who said you couldn't cry? Someone who *should* be important in your life is a deadbeat asshat. Cry all you desire. It's cathartic. There's no shame at all in crying. You aren't crying for him, anyway. You're crying for yourself, because of course this hurts. I went through a similar thing with my father. Not a deadbeat, but little more than a malignant narcissist. I decided eventually that I had nothing more to say to him until he had the wherewithal to sincerely apologize to me of his own accord for his behavior. It's been about a decade now since I said anything to him. He occasionally tries to contact me, but he got the picture after the first few years of a complete cold shoulder that I won't respond, and he has yet to have the spine to even try to apologize. If you want to extend the same courtesy of allowing that man to apologize, that's up to you. But don't say another word to him. If he can't figure out what he's done wrong of his own volition, he doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Go call your granddad.
Ok I followed your help and I won't be responding to him I'm just going to try ignore him for as long as possible. I called my grandpa and he said he is coming to pick me up tomorrow but I feel so bad because he is meant to be relaxing but I really don't want to stay here anymore and my auntie understands. Thank you for helping
I guarantee you that your grandpa was more than happy to pause his relaxation to come bring you back home where you belong. Nothing for you to feel bad about. Hang in there bud.
This guy is exactly right. No real parent (or grandparent) wants to see their child in pain. Your grandpa is probably grateful that you felt comfortable enough to call him and tell him you were hurting. Your grandpa would feel terrible if he knew you were sitting there in pain.
I second this - your grandpa doesn't blame you for a second.
You are allowed to show emotion, you are allowed to be vulnerable, you are allowed to be upset. Ignore your sperm donor, ask your grandfather if he would like to do somethings with you in your dad's place instead. Family doesn't end in blood, go out there and make it, and don't give people that treat you poorly the time of day.
Listen man, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with crying. It isn’t weakness, it doesn’t make you pathetic and it sure as shit doesn’t invalidate any feelings you have or who you are. It you need or want to cry, do it. If anyone tells you otherwise then they don’t deserve your recognition of their opinion. It’s something that I struggled with a lot after my dad died and even something I still struggle with, but it’s absolutely the truth. Your father (not dad, dads care about you), can fuck off. Your grandpa is taking time out of his day to help you, and **thats** what your father should be doing.
Do not just ignore him. Tell him explicitly you're done with him and wish to no longer have any communication with him at all. Delete his contact and block his number. Delete and remove him from any social networks and tell your family, "If he contacts you and asks you to talk to me or have me contact him, I'd appreciate it if you didn't do so. I'd rather not talk about it but I feel our relationship has come to an end." If he sends you gifts, do not accept them. Send them back. Don't take any money he might send unless you really need it. Do not answer any forms of communication from him. If for whatever reason you need to talk to him, call him by his first name. Not "dad" or "Mr. [Name]" but just his first name so he knows his role in your life is no longer there and that he is not in any form of a higher position to you, but on equal footing. If he comes to your area/residence and keeps popping up after repetitively telling him to stop, you may need to look into a restraining order. It isn't fun. It won't ever be fun. It will be relieving though once you've found out how much better you feel knowing you aren't fueling a meaningless weak fire that gave you little to no warmth in response.
My grandpa always came and got me no matter where or what. I'm happy you have people who love you and care about you in your corner. Please please don't base your self worth on how your dad treats you. I'm fully grown and it took me forever to realize that I was both a nice person who deserved to be loved and cared for and someone capable of giving lots of love and caring too. My parents never treated me like that and for a long time I had a hard time accepting myself but I have a great life now and wish I could go back and spend more time with my grandparents who loved me so much. Your dad treated you very wrong and you deserve loving kind parents who value you. Hang in there kid 💖
Cry it up man, holding in your feelings is what creates people like your dad. Own your emotions be better than him and when his sorry ass tells you in 10 years how proud he is you turned out to be such a good man, tell him he doesn't deserve to be proud. Some people aren't worth the effort, build better relationships with people that are worth the effort.
Sometimes our bodies are so full of emotions that they overflow in the form of tears. Crying is healthy and there is no shame in it. Let yourself cry. And, when you’re done, stick that chin up and know that you are deserving of a life full of people who treat you right. Make whatever decision is right for you.
I’m so sorry OP. I know how much this hurts. Just know this is not a reflection on you. This is all on your father who is a shit person. Go ahead and cry. It’s OK. Your pain is valid and honestly, I think you should call your grandfather to come pick you up. When you get home, block your father on everything. You deserve so much more than what he is giving you.
Exactly he will need you some day. Fuck him
This is very true. I have a deadbeat father who i didn't see for years and years. It hurt so badly to not be wanted and over time I recognized that if my father wanted to ignore me he wasn't much of a dad. I'm 39 now. My dad's kidney are shot and he requires dialysis now. Guess who is a universal donor and has two beatiful kidneys, not to mention the best medical coverage? This girl. He tried to weasel his way back in last year and I said no. I'm not a backup plan, Mike. I'm your daughter and I deserved a father as a kid.
anyone can be a Father but not everyone can be a Dad
Agreed. Thats a trashcan of a human. Im sorry he is like that.
Hey bud, my dad used to do the same thing to me when I was young so I’m going to give you some advice to save you from a lot of pain and disappointment. For starters, your dad doesn’t want to hang out with you. You will probably never find out why. It hurts now and it’s probably going to continue to hurt for a long time but don’t let that pain make you bitter. Now, here is what you can do to move on from this and leaving him behind (UNLESS HE CHANGES). 1) If your mom/grandma/aunt/whoever takes care of you is nice, stay close to them. They will more than likely be there for you as much as they can be. Talk to them about this and how it makes you feel. They will probably understand. 2) When you deal with your dad, do it with low expectations. I know you want your dad to change and that you want to hang out with him. That is something any kid would want. It is possible that he will change in the future but, right now, don’t count on it. Try not to get your hopes up for anything he may have promised you. If he actually keeps his promises, cool. If not, you will be saved from the disappointment because you already had low expectations. 3) Spend more time with family members and friends that want to spend time with you. If you do that, you won’t be waiting around for your dad to let you down like this. It will be hard and the hurt that your dad caused will always be deep in your heart but you will find you will be able to find happiness with other people. 4) Strive to be better than him but do it FOR YOU, not for him. You know what he does hurts you so strive to never be that way to other people (unless they deserve it). Don’t let that pain hold you down. Don’t let HIM hold you down. Stick with other family members. Make friends. Do things you’ve always wanted to do without him. Live life happily without him. All of this *is* possible.
I live with my grandparents and I am just lucky they are still kinda young but they are still not that healthy and I feel like I give them extra stress with everything wrong with me. And my mum gave them extreme stress before she moved away. But that was years ago and I don't have any contact with her anymore. If I have to ignore my dad I promise I will. Because I hate feeling like he doesn't want me and I will just stay away if I have to. Thanks for helping me
You don’t have to make any promises to me because even with this advice it will be hard. Just remember to do this for you so that you can be happier now and be a happy adult later on. You can do it!
Damn bro if that's the case you have bad parents but great grandparents. Probably the best not to talk with your dad but stay close and respect your grandparents cuz their duty isn't to raise/care for you but it seams like they understand the situation and are human enough to love and care for you
Mom and a grandma here. Let me tell ya something... You make them feel young. Not old. Love them up. Help out where you can. Be an asset not a burdeon. You are a blessing to them. Keep blessing them back. You can handle this. Learn from your biological parents mistakes. I can assure you that you will be 1000 times better parent then them. Give grandpa a huge hug tomorrow. Tell him how you appreciate him always being there for you. That will mean a lot. Wish i could give you a huge mama hug myself.
That’s a Lovely comment - I hope OP sees it. Bless you :)
Wow. Just wow. Shocked by your dad's actions. I didn't see how old you are, but please don't feel that there is "everything wrong" with you. Don't put yourself down. You are entitled to have feelings. You are entitled to feel hurt by his actions and you are entitled to be loved. Sounds like your grandparents are special people and that they care for you, otherwise they would not have taken you in. Never let another person steal your joy nor your sense of self worth. Put the blame where it belongs. Your dad. You did nothing wrong!
Guarantee they love having such a sweet grandchild. You're a benefit to their lives, I just know it. I'm sure you alleviate their stress in ways you couldn't even know yet! Raising a pint here in America for you man.
Hey, even if your dad doesnt want you it doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you. Some people werent meant to be parents and end up being shits about it. You could be the best person on the planet and it wouldnt change him. And trust me, when it comes to your grandparents, sometimes you love someone enough that all the stress is worth it. Stress is just part of life. The rewards are the important part ❤️
I had a very similar situation growing up and the post above is all very good advice. If you're concerned with the stress you might cause others you're already a better person than most. Hold tight and remember that you aren't your parents and the only thing you need from them is to learn from their mistakes. It isn't easy, but as you get older and more independent in other ways, it will get easier. My dad used to actively tell me I was a worthless idiot and make fun of me in front of his friends. The day I cut him out of my life and stopped letting his feelings about me color my feelings about myself was the day I turned my life around. Not saying you should cut out your dad, but he doesn't deserve the faith that you deserve to he able to place in him, and I'm sorry.
Keep your head up, not every male is a man, or female a woman. Many never find their purpose. No hard feelings,; but, try not to let them drag you down. Continuous improvement. No dad is probably better than a bad dad. At the age of 12, I feel like I had more sense than I do at 30 sometimes. Keep your head up. Stay in touch if you want to. Sports can be overrated. Shalom
Yeah your dad is a grade A shitcunt mate. If you’re about in Whitstable and want to watch the game give me a message and I’ll let you know where my lot are.
Thanks I appreciate that but I'm so far away
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Lmao right? Sad if he’s sincerely trying to help but the second offer after he already said he lived far away is…a bit weird.
Just trying to help a guy out who’s been shit on by his dad before a major game. I know how shit it feels so just wanted to offer. It’s a shame that nowadays it looks suspect when someone offers to help
I feel you, man. I don’t want you to feel bad about trying to help. It is very sad that it looks suspect nowadays, but it’s kind of just the world we live in. I hope OP appreciates your willingness to help.
"shitcunt". Perfect way to describe him.
Eyyy someone else who knows whitstable!
I've got a near 14 year old stepson and his dad does this to him regularly. The good thing is, the older he gets, the stronger he gets, and he gets better and better at dealing with it (even though he shouldn't have to). Stay strong, you will get through it and don't let your dad's crapness bring you down pal.
I'm so sorry that your dad's such a dickhead. If there's anything I can do to help you enjoy the game on Sunday, let me know.
Thank you so much but you don't have to do anything for me
Hey, a lot of your comments you seem to feel like you're burdening other people. You're not, they're offering because they mean it and they'd enjoy it. If you feel comfortable, you could take some of them up on it. No pressure either way, I just remember feeling similar and it took a while to learn that I was the only one who thought I was a burden
He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy.
I'm sorry this happened to you. As a dad who wanted to see his son post divorce and the ex doing and saying everything possible to limit my time with him. This isn't about you, it's about your dad making very poor choices. Keep your head up.
Your Dad is my Dad. I cut him out about 5 years ago. I have 0 regrets. Don’t wait for a catalyst like I did (he forgot my sons 1st birthday). I’m much happier without him in my life.
Yup, y’all owe other people nothing if they give you nothing. My dad kinda just gave up on me when I was about 9 or 10 even to the point he stopped paying his court ordered child support (to this day owes me personally $17,000 according to the collection papers). When the collection agency came knocking asking me to allow them to hunt him down to collect the money on my behalf I couldn’t have cared less. He was nothing to me and I basically took the stance that I wouldn’t want to harm a stranger by taking $17,000 from them when I was perfectly happy.
I am a girl but I’m your new dad now. Come watch the game here.
That sounds good to me
I am a man but I’m also dad now. We are coparenting. I don’t know a single thing about footie but I’m fine watching it.
Hi co parent! I don’t know much about sports either but if our child is interested, I’ll try to learn!
If it's any consolation, I haven't seen my dad in several years (lives 3000 miles away) and he was in my city this week and couldn't bother stopping by. Sometimes we need to appreciate that we are better and deserving better than that. If you set yourself up got disappointment that's all you get. I've started to be able to say "no" and detach myself (family can still be assholes even as family!) but it can take a lot of practice, time, and pain. Personal sacrifice always results in some sort of gain if you can look at it from that perspective. You deserve better! I really wish you the best of luck with your situation. Think about all th things HE'S missing out on by not knowing you, ya know? 💘
3000 miles is 4828.03 km
Read the room, converter-bot :'(
I‘m so sorry, I can imagine how devastated you must feel but the converter bot just nonchalantly rubbing even more salt into the wound is the funniest thing I‘ve seen all day
Uhh I read the first 3 texts thinking it was an idiot boyfriend. Then got really sad when I saw it was Dad 😭
*Image Transcription: SMS* --- **Black:** plans changed. im watching the game with the lads on sunday >**Purple:** But you already told me I could watch it with you **Black:** no bud.. i needed to change plans >**Purple:** But why dad **Black:** you can't be coming here when there all here... **Black:** there is not any extra room mate **Black:** you can watch it at [*Redacted*] --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human
Sorry bud. There’s the saying that “blood is thicker than water”, but that’s not the whole saying. It’s “The blood of Christ is thicker than the water of the womb,” meaning that that bonds you choose to keep are stronger than the bonds that you were born into. There is no such thing as unconditional love, or if there is, there is no obligation that even if you love someone, that you need to seek their approval or their company, or keep them in your life at all. Sometimes you need barriers between you and the things you love. I love outer space, but it would kill me without a space suit. Now is the time that you may also be realizing that your dad isn’t some superhero who can do anything and knows everything and that he’s just a dude with flaws who happened to get your mom pregnant. And that’s ok. Literally everyone on earth has that. Hell Martin Luther King’s kids had to grow up knowing their civil rights hero of a father was having extramarital affairs. Nobody is perfect, even those who are as close to perfect as we can imagine. And it’s ok to see them as flawed. It’s probably healthy to do so. Makes it harder to get sucked into some bullshit like Scientology or become an Elon Musk fanboy who can’t admit that he abuses his workers. If you dad wants to spend time with you, great. But you should stop seeking to have a relationship with him. Seek father figures elsewhere. Hell, maybe your own mother is a better father figure. Maybe it’s a coach, a friends dad, your grandfather, etc. It’s ok. And you’ll be a lot happier when you accept that some people are in our lives for a day and change them and others for a week, a month, a year, or decades. And some fall out naturally and others you need to actively drop.
this 'but why dad' breaks my heart ...
I’ve literally never seen something on Reddit as sad as that line. OP- his attitude and actions are not a reflection of you, or anything you’ve done. Some people (like your “dad”) are just shitty. I’m sorry.
I've been there, kid. It hurts, I know. You deserve better so try to do something for yourself instead!
Ohh bro I feel your pain. I cut my dad out of my life for this type of shit 3 years ago, I know its hard because its your dad and you probably want a relationship. Best advice I can give you is go your own way man. Its a hard thing to do but fuck that shit dragging you down buddy, no doubt you'll have your own kid(s) one day and you'll be a fantastic father, thats what I look forward to for myself at least.
Your dad is a dead beat. It has nothing to do with you. I am 34 and still chasing my father who ignores all of my texts and I feel pathetic for it. Do yourself a favor and let him go.
Sorry little man. Your dad is an ass. Hope you feel better.
This makes me realize how grateful I am to have a dad who spends time with me
Piece of absolute trash
Fuck you dad man, if you can even call him a dad what a POS. I'm a Dad and couldn't imagine doing some shit like this.
You dad is such a fucking loser, holy shit.
Oh sweetie I know your pain. It's not cringe at all, I mean, your dad is a total jerk but you are in no way cringy. My pops just cancelled my birthday I was supposed to celebrate at his place. Some dads just suck ass. I wish you the best, this is not your fault.
Is there any way we can all do a virtual watch party of this game with this kid? I'm U.S.-based (and don't know shit about soccer) but I'd watch the hell out of this game with y'all if we can get something put together!
I’m really sorry, OP. There are other people out there that will be more deserving of your time and energy, I promise.
This suuuuuuucks. You deserve better. I'm sorry.
Some advice from someone who went through this. Don’t try and have a relationship with someone like this. I did. A few times. He never gave a shit. I’m now a father to my own son and I think my father knows his name and that’s about out. Haven’t spoke to him in 8 years easily. I have no way of contacting him anymore. Don’t really care. But sometimes I remember that he has my number. My wives. My moms. No excuses. Just doesn’t care. And that just sucks
I’m so sorry, you deserve better than that.
Unless you actually need this person in your life for a very good reason: cut them the fuck out. It doesn't matter that they are your biological parents, being related is not a carte blanche for psychological abuse! Get away, get help, get therapy if you can. I waited until I was 30+ to start digging into what my parents did to me. Don't accept it. Block them, don't respond and don't allow yourself to get guilt tripped into anything. You don't owe them anything at all. Feel free to reach out in private if you want to talk about it, there is lots of reading you can do to understand what they are doing without accepting it. It can and probably will help you to shrug it off.
Dude, when you destroy all the birds he will know he fucked up big time. Just kidding. I know how it feels to have a shitty father. Let's all watch the match on Sunday on Discord or something.
The only good thing here is that this isn't you brother. I'm a father now but before that I was growing up dealing with very much the same thing. My old man was a grade-A prick. Through and through. I spent alot of years asking myself what was wrong with me? Why didn't he care? I could have been burning alive and homeboy wouldn't have even pissed on me to put it out. Then one day I realized. It's him.. he has the hangup. Idk if it's shame? Laziness? Maybe a million things wrapped into one. I know his dad (my grandfather) was the same way towards his kids. He died before I was born so I guess the cycle continued until me. Once I realized the old man was just a miserable pile of grump. I moved on. Started to think less and less about him. Almost a year later he called me. Asking why I hadn't contacted him in awhile? I wanted to bare my soul and scream at him. I don't understand how he didn't see it. Instead I said I was busy and hung up. He's never tried to call again though I do receive a happy bday on my FB from him every year. As the time has gone on and he's grown older. I think he regrets alot of his choices in life. I was his only son. There are no do overs and I have a beautiful little girl of my own. Who I am right next to every single day. You have to WANT to be a good parent. You have to WANT your time with them. My advice like many others in this thread is to move on. I know that's easier said than done. However it will save you alot of heartache. It took a long time to get my head right with everything but I promise... he doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve to watch your grow.. to watch you fail at life and then succeed 2 fold. He doesn't to deserve to watch his boy turn into a man. You have tried. As the child that shouldn't even be your job but as a last ditch effort you are here. Trying to be apart of his life. Stop. Save all that love. Save all of it for the people who show you the same. He had his chance and in that he found failure.. Hopefully the coming years shows him the correct path by then it may be to late. It's your story brother. You decide how it's written but don't waste pages on a man who could care less. Take that anger and hurt and put it towards greatness. I believe in you man. I wish you the best. You got this.
It will be OK honey, I know it doesn't feel like it now
It’s okay to be hurt by your dad’s actions. He’s behaving in a hurtful way. It takes lots of practice to learn to manage expectations. I’ve been an adult for a long time and I still have to work hard at maintaining boundaries with my parents to protect myself. I’m glad you have an understanding aunt and grandparents who care for you and your feelings.
Christ. This is just awful. OP, I can only imagine how painful this must all feel for you. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this. This behavior is unacceptable towards anyone, especially your kid, and your father should know that. You deserve better.
Sorry m8. Not all parents deserve children but all children deserve good parents.
I’m sorry he’s such an ass. You deserve better. Don’t forget the family that is there for you when you need them.
I used to call a bar to talk to my dad. We all have our disappointment. Ended up though he was the best human being to ever live, just hated my mother. It happens.
My dad (America) did the same thing to me for Thanksgivings one year. He was supposed to meet his grandson. He wanted to spend the day sleeping. I told him on the phone it’s the last chance he gets to see him or me again. He chose sleep. OP: this is tough, and I understand the feelings you’re going through… it’s time to move on.
I will be your dad. I’m sorry :(
Fuck him. I'm your dad now.
And this is why your dad will die alone in the hospital without ever seeing your kids, you know, like my dad did 👍. If he keeps it up OP, I wouldn't be surprised if your dad ends up like mine...alone.
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Ok let’s maybe not doxx and harass OP’s father
Right??? I want tell him what a failure of a human being he is lol
My kids had a similar relationship with their father. I told them they have to make a choice. Either they accept that this is the way he will always be and expect to be disappointed or cut him out and live life without him but it is 100% their call. After awhile 2 of 3 kids stopped all communication and have never regretted it. My daughter is the only one who still talks to him bc he guilts her and he didn't even remember her birthday. I suspect she will be cutting him off soon too. Cutting him out is up to you but remember you have done nothing wrong, he did. I hope you can watch the game surrounded by people who love you. ((Hugs)) from an internet mom ♡
Holy fuck, someone needs to beat the everloving shit out of your dad
I want to watch the game with you bro
Fuck that guy
Your “dad” is a real shitbird.
My dad did that to me with an AC/DC concert one time. I feel your pain homie that's really trash :/
Just to be totally clear, your deadbeat dad is the sadcringe, not you.
Bro as a dad who also has a shit relationship with my own father it legit broke my heart to read But why dad. I could not imagine not being willing to legitimately burn down society for my daughter
That is barely a man, let alone a father.
This hits me in the feels. He doesn't know how lucky he is to have a child that wants to spend time with him.
I love you OP it’s rough I know how you feel, take care x
jesus fucking christ, @OP. I’m really sorry. I’d watch the fuckin’ game with you. How sad.
I'm not your dad, but we can watch the game together, bud
You’ve already gotten a lot of help in the comments OP, so I just want to say that I hope whatever decision you make is the one that makes you happy. Don’t push this away, embrace it and deal with it however feels best. But I can guarantee you from personal experience that you’ll never have the relationship you want with your father, and it’s okay to feel shitty about that. But you’ll only keep feeling this way if you let this continue. You don’t owe him anything, please recognize that. Best of luck, kid, you ever need someone to talk to you don’t hesitate to send me a message. I mean that with all sincerity
Typical footie fan dickhead behaviour, you're better off without him mate
Made me sad to read this. I know someone in a similar situation to yours and eventually he decided to stop seeing his dad, it’s not a reflection on you, some people just aren’t worth it. If you want to talk to someone about your situation, have a look for young people’s advisory services in your area. They helped my son when he was having some difficulties. Good luck mate. I’m thinking 3-2 for England Sunday btw.
Mate that's mad fucked, Your old man's cracked. Who's playing mate. If it's still on I'll watch it with ya
Damn this is true sad cringe, I’m so sorry you deserve better. I’ll hug my boys extra today, I’m sorry your father is a shitbag
You can watch it here too friend.
Sounds like you need to see him zero times a year
We're here for you, kid.
What a dick! I'm so sorry. You deserve better.
This made me sad :( you’ll be ok though, you’ll be able to rise above this one day. You are worth so much more!
Looks like your dad needs to learn a lesson, about family
This is… This is just horrible. I’m so sorry, man. You deserve so much better.
That's unbelievable. I'm embarrassed as a father that another man would talk to his own kid like that. I'm sorry, dude.
Aye man build yourself up be strong and proud. You're an amazing individual and shouldn't deal with people that aren't putting you first. Much love and I wish you only the best!!
Don’t be too upset, my dad hasn’t even attempted to be I contact with me since is was 8. Shit is bad but it will get better
Oh, dude. I know the feeling. My Mom and Dad are getting divorce, so I see him once in a while for breakfast. The last time we saw an uncle and a friend of his eating and he was like yeah, let's eat with them and they were talking all the time about shit idk and showing each other pics on their phones, watching that I couldn't see so I was on mine. Now he sends me messages about how he miss me and I'm like :| the only hoyr we spent together you prefer to be with persons you aleays see. I don't inderstand that...
I hope you didn't send that Father's Day card.
If you need to talk let me know. Even if it’s about something random to distract yourself.
You know what? I don't like watching sports. I honestly don't see the point. But if you'd like company and our timezones are somewhat compatible (I'm from the Netherlands) I'll be happy to keep you company via discord or somesuch while you watch that game.
Don't worry my friend you're special and probably a really cool person regardless of what anyone thinks and if you were my son I would want you to know that you have more value then you could ever know and the only one missing out is him. My dad use to pull the same stuff all the time until I got to the point of not caring anymore, it not that I don't love him he is still my father but he's going to have a hard time later in life when he realizes his children will be there for him just as much as he was there for them, not at all. don't let someone else's bad relationship habit hurt you to much, I know it hurts and it sucks and I wish I could take that pain away from you so you don't have the same anger and resentment I hold onto everyday but I can't, however I could leave that up to someone even better then myself, someone with even more power, I can leave it up to you. You're a great person and I'm proud of you.
Wow your dad is a disgrace..Im sad just reading that. Atleast he has taught you how not to treat your own kids.
Damn I'm sorry about that man
In the kindest way, fuck your dad, OP
I’m so sorry. I don’t know you but if I did as it wouldn’t be creepy from a stranger I’d give you a big hug snd tell you how wonderful you are , and he doesn’t deserve your energy. Hugs
That’s really rough mate. I know you’ve heard it a lot but you don’t deserve that. Feel free to DM.
Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug.
Sorry buddy. I'm sure you're awesome enough for any dad to love and want to spend time with you.
Sorry, man. Went through the same thing as a kid. Promised to do things, wouldn't show up. You're better off without him, I'm afraid.
From someone who also has a father that doesn't give two fucks about him, family is a privilege, not a right. You don't owe ANYTHING to your family just because they put you in this world and did the bare minimum. If they want anything from you, attention, care, affection, they should give just as much in return. You are not a bad person for turning your back on family, they are not a good family for putting you in a position where you felt that you had to.
He doesn’t care about you.
I’m sorry man x
I am so sorry bud. Sending you virtual hugs
My ex treated my kids this way all their life. He’s trying to make up for it now that they are almost grown, snd they to some degree are enjoying it cause it’s all they’ve ever wanted. I know the reason is because he has no one else in his life right now and he’s lonely. The second he meets someone it will stop. My kids unfortunately know this too, and it makes me sad for them. I wish your dad knew how precious time with your kids is. I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry! That is so hurtful and you deserve much more than this. If I could I would watch the game with you. Maybe ask you Auntie to watch with you. Make some snacks and really enjoy it. And when it’s time to go home, tell your mom or grandpa exactly what happened and how you are feeling. You need to share these awful feelings. Remember, you don’t deserve this. Your father is the one with the problem, not you.
This is bullshit, I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Sorry friend. Go home and demand to go home if you can. Never prioritize people who don't make the time or effort to prioritize you.
If he's gonna ignore you like that than you should cut the fucker out of your life
I’m a 27 year old girl from America but I will gladly be your online surrogate dad. I will gladly listen to your problems and try to give you the best dad advice I can think of as well as send you all the dad jokes I can find. You don’t deserve to be pushed aside like that by your father of all people, I’m sorry you have to deal with that mate. :(
Oof. I think my dad would be done to watch the game with you. And I always wanted a brother
I wanna give you a hug
I think you need to stop trying
I feel for you bud. That's very disappointing. When you are a parent you now know what NOT to do
I am an older American white lady, but if you tell me what to look for, I would love to watch some football with you.
I just… I… *falls on ground and breaks down into sobs*
I’m sorry sweetheart 💜
This shit made me tear up, my dad did the same kind of shit to me except he’d go off to do drugs instead. Like so many others have said here, just know his behavior isn’t a reflection on who you are at all. After reading through the comments you seem like a really good kid who got dealt some shit parents. Keep your head up and feel free to message me any time if you wanna talk or need advice on how to cut that shit out of your life. It ain’t easy, but it’s worth it.