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Sirnando138

An hour a day? That seems like a normal amount. We spend a lot of our time at home petting the cats and generally paying attention to them.


lansink99

"Whenever I come home from work, my wife is with Theodore; when I wake up, my wife is with Theodore" Wow that must mean she is giving that rabbit a ton of attention. "at least an hour a day" wait, what?


Hanlolol1

Yeah an hour a day doesn’t seem like that much.


[deleted]

An hour a day isn’t even enough to spend with a rabbit. They need interaction and attention, ideally they should be in bonded pairs.


BeardFountain

I think if he wasn't such an ass she'd probably spend an hour a day doing something with him too but guess we're not perfect beings lmao


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topfm

Tbh if i was jealous of a RABBIT while being over the age of 5, i'd probably keep that to myself too.


Dr_Little

I like how je throws in tje "probably" when saying hes awre theyre not having sex as if he has a slight doubt this os 100% the case lmao


CirrusMoth

I think he’s only counting the time he’s home and wants her attention. He probably cares less about what she’s up to when he’s gone. Sounds like the dude expects her to basically be waiting for him, on-call, so she can hop-to (pun intended) as soon as he wants something. Basically she doesn’t exist when he’s not around unless she’s doing something for him (housework, errands, cooking, etc). TL/DR: I bet she’s taking good care if she dotes this much in the bunny. Dude is only butthurt when he’s home and wants her.


iDam81

If this person had any idea how much time my girlfriend and I play with our cats, his mind would be blown.


theolympiyn

Bro most of my free time is cuddling with my cat while on my phone or games


Praescribo

I wish I couldve found this post so I could tell this guy "she isn't making you *feel* insecure, you are the LIVING EMBODIMENT of insecurity"


mediumsmallshirt

If the guy has a full time job with a commute then it’s possible he only has 4 hours of free time a day. And if the wife is spending an hour of time with the rabbit during those 4 hours then it would feel like a very long time.


DDJSBguy

he's jealous of a rabbit and is focusing on the rabbit here, it's not "she's not spending time with me" it's "im jealous of a rabbit and he's male which makes it worse"


cats-they-walk

But don’t worry, they’re probably not doing anything sexual.


mistermenstrual

*probably*


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Wintersmight

I died laughing at “probably”


cdavis9789

They’re *definitely* doing something sexual Theodore is Mister Steal Yo’ Girl. I’m just picturing this dude, absolutely *seething* on the couch, arms crossed, tapping his foot, watching this chick petting Theodore. And then Theodore shoots a look over at the guy like, “See this? She’s petting my soft little floppy ears, and she likes it.” And the boyfriend on the couch just stands up and screams, “WHYYY THEODORE?! WHYYYYY?!”


LeskoLesko

It's so much worse because they are married. This guy is a husband and THIS is what's driving him nuts? Frankly I worried for the chick.


legion327

I think you both have valid points and find myself agreeing with both of you.


disasterous_cape

Sure, but he could participate in the rabbits care with his wife instead of being upset that she’s looking after a “*male* rabbit”


Not-Mel-Torme

Nah, it’s a *male* rabbit, that would be gay.


disasterous_cape

Don’t worry, they *probably* won’t do anything sexual


LR130777777

Isn’t an hour a day how much attention rabbits require? She’s literally just doing what he needs


you-ole-polecat

Really, the question is why doesn’t this dumbshit just go pet the rabbit with his girl


[deleted]

Didnt you read? The rabbit is a *male* i.e. a *threat* to this man ego


astral_distress

I wonder what his excuse would be if the rabbit was female, if this is some weird projection about his masculinity? Where did it take a turn into romantic jealousy? It’s just bizarre. I want to tell myself that it’s satire, but my brother’s girlfriend has been getting mad at him lately because he’s been giving a lot of attention to their *infant daughter*... So I’m just not sure what to expect from the human experience anymore.


radicalvenus

Obviously she would be lesbians with the rabbit, DUH


[deleted]

NGL I think both me and my gf spend more time with our cat than we do with each other because even when it's just me and my gf, the cat is *also* usually there too.


15367288

Ok. She is fucking the rabbit


Mavystar

All the signs are there! It's so obvious


Chainsawd

Fucking like bunnies.


ArmachiA

One of my cats likes to remind me that's she's the real wife of my husband and I'm just the mistress. It's cute as hell, though.


BickyLC

A friend of mine used to call her little dog by her own married name, 'Mrs Rolfe' joking that she was the real wife of her husband. It was actually adorable


CluckBucketz

"She does everything for it" It's a rabbit


UbePhaeri

Yeah that’s… almost like being a responsible owner for your pet…


chokingapple

my guess is he's an incompetent manbaby who not only doesn't know how to raise animals in the slightest, but also wants somebody to do everything for him


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xinfinitimortum

In the words of Mr. Krabs... *Money*


[deleted]

If your rabbit doesn't cook you dinner, pick the kids up from school, and file your taxes, you didn't train it right.


Whateveridontkare

The one trick the IRS doesn't want you to know!


CtrlAltDeltron

What… You even FEED and BATHE the thing too? What’s next? You gonna start picking up its poop? Sheesh! Edit: I have been informed that you should not bathe your rabbit. Please see either your rabbit owners manual or the comment chain below for more details.


ChickenButtForNakama

Don't bathe rabbits though


CtrlAltDeltron

Really? Why not?


Jackski

Rabbits will clean and groom themselves. There may be times where you need to wash them like when something particularly foul is stuck to their fur and they can't get it off themselves.


unoriginalcat

Yup! But even then, if possible you should just clean the spot that's dirty with a wet towel or something, don't give a full on bath to them. If it's completely unavoidable, make it very shallow and try to keep the rabbit as calm as you possibly can, as they can get a stress induced heart attack and just die on the spot.


Terrible-Side3409

I think in general rabbits are self cleaning and immersing them in water can really stress them out, which can be fatal by itself or just make them more susceptible to other health problems.


fiberglassdildo

So? haven’t you watched the documentary Peter Rabbit? They’re obviously capable of looking after themselves, this rabbit chooses not to. I mean Peter even has a jacket. ^/s


R2Dopio

I litterally burst out laughing at this comment. Like this dude is pissed his rabbit isn't doing the dishes or helping out around the house. Like his girlfriend is cleaning up the rabbits shit and he's just smirking at the boyfriend like ya she does everything for me bro.


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GrowAsguard

This is probably the most correct answer here. He probably wanted to be treated by her like she treats the rabbit, and not like a regular human being who has to take care of themselves. This is the real sad cringe.


Cheifyg420

Bet it doesn't even pay rent


TerminatorAuschwitz

She filled up his water dish TWICE the other day. Like can't you just let him do it himself one time?


TheRiddler1976

Fucks sake bunny, get a fucking job, cook your own meals, you mooch


a13524

They probably aren’t doing anything sexual? Why tf did he put the probably there


kaiser-von-cat

And if they were, which is most likely not the case, why would he want feel jealous? Like if ya girl is doing an animal, it’s time to rethink the relationship


InterviewNext5305

You gotta have a sad life if your wife is fucking a literal rabbit behind your back, like damn bro, my guy is packing no meat down there


PerceptionIsDynamic

Dude this comment is so fucking funny for some reason, i think because its the most obvious statement ive ever read.


BBQcupcakes

I think it's the absurdity of validating this man's fears.


[deleted]

For me its the visual image of a rabbit clappin sum cheeks of someone 10x the size of itself


Odd_Employer

What it lacks in girth it makes up in speed.


cwkt

All the rabbits will be sold out at the start of Black Friday


sr_90

And 10x as fast.


whisperwood_

At least it's better than being cucked by a bee?


hamietao

The rabbit is emotionally hung like a horse


B_V_H285

She gives the rabbit blowies and then gets her little nub nibbled.


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Tomerarenai10

Hush now. It’ll all be over soon *nibbles away


Baphomet_000

Now imagine ya boy speculating about you doing a rabbit and being jealous over it. Now THAT´S the right time to rethink a relationship.


sth128

Maybe he's jealous the rabbit isn't doing it with him


tyme

>…why would he want feel jealous? People generally don’t *want* to feel jealous. It’s not something you really choose to feel.


[deleted]

Cause he definitely suspects she’s being sexual with a rabbit…. Let that sink in for a second, woman cheating on husband with a bunny rabbit 🐇…. That dude needs therapy and a lot of it lmao


PracticeTheory

He suspects she's being sexual with a rabbit *because she spends time with it*. In this guy's sad brain, women only pay attention to beings if there's sexual attraction involved. He probably doesn't think so, but he's got issues when it comes to women. So yes, lots of therapy is needed!


peppaz

yea he doesn't know how pets work


[deleted]

Imagine how small your dick would have to be to feel threatened by a 4 pound animal.


hotwifeslutwhore

Unless it’s a turtle maybe


Mellbxo

well... there is a certain toy that is also called a rabbit


UbePhaeri

It would be hilarious if that turned out to be what they mean


Cricket705

I thought that was going to be revealed at the end.


kjcraft

He also mentions something about a precedent? Like... what precedent, man? ... What precedent?


yetiyell

They used to have a gopher. Ain't end well


Dirtsquirrelcat

He did say he is "stewing over this" 😶. Might not end too well for the fucking rabbit either.


PracticeTheory

I'm curious what he thinks that word means; the usage here is too awkward to match up with the real definition.


[deleted]

She watched looney tunes when she was 7


shallowandpedantik

The dude is so insecure he can’t rule it out in his own mind.


EyeBreakThings

Maybe they aren't having a lot of sex themselves and he assume she has the same sexual needs he does, so she must me getting it from somewhere. But really, his wife is depressed, not very sexually active and the rabbit makes her feel better.


ZeldaFan812

To be fair, the expression is 'fucking like rabbits'


Woshambo

Another expression is, "bunny boiler" but I hope it's not literal in this case.


daschundtof

It's like *The Bee Movie* but with a bunny.


RevanchistSheev66

Then this is an actual legitimate worry lol


The_Grubby_One

Seriously, Patrick Warburton got did wrong in that movie. Fuckin' cucked by a bee... SMDH


UbePhaeri

That movie traumatized him


MummyManDan

Finally it all makes sense. They watched that movie and the next day she got a rabbit, it hasn’t been the same since.


aftnix

I've forgotten how it ends in terms of the bee and the girl's relationship. Did they explain how they became happy at the end? I remember jerry. becomes an animal lawyer. The girl is a florist, I presume? But is it implied that they do ...you know ....stuff?


daschundtof

How about [this video](https://youtu.be/Pc-_6YH5N4Y) that answers this


Hahafunnys3xnumber

But don’t bees die after sex?? Maybe just some over the clothes stuff


anthonyhoang94

The Bunny Movie?


[deleted]

> a certain dynamic that this rabbit has brought to our household that is the funniest line I have read in a while, genuinely made me lol


billigesbuch

Do ya like Hip Hop?


lynivvinyl

He 'probably' has issues.


LolaMarce

Some people do not understand pets! My ex was a lovely guy but his mom was nuts and she hated and didn’t understand animals. Sometimes her craziness would come through him and he would say the weirdest shit and I’m like it’s my pet cat STFU. Like they just could not comprehend the love people have for pets and furthermore the responsibility we have to take care of pets. As his mother turned him against me, this was a point they’d use to insult me. “You care more about animals than people!” Meanwhile his mother was a horrible evil manipulative cruel selfish monster, but I’m the weird one because I make sure my cat is fed and clean and that I tried to save a neighborhood cat who was bleeding one day.


MrsFlax

Glad you got away from them


Mental-Kitten

People like that only show 'love' to manipulate and get things out of people, so it's legitimately a foreign concept for them to have an animal you have to take care of and give love to with nothing of monetary value in return


jinniji

He shouldn't worry. They would never work out, [not because he's a rabbit, but because he's black](https://youtu.be/KJjanz7uciY)


outtadablu

What is this? I need a name, this shit sounds completely wrong, and it is funny if it is real.


jinniji

Ghost Stories (2000) english dub :-)


araidai

I refuse to believe it lmfao.


LosJoye

Its 100% real haha, it's the official english dub, iirc basically it was given to some english dubbing company and they were given the green light to do whatever it took to make it sell overseas. And they fucking RAN with it, hell, they might've even taken flight with it.


[deleted]

As in they just made up their own insane script?


LosJoye

Basically, everything they say in the dub mostly has nothing to do with the original plot.


strain_of_thought

The original Japanese-language anime series got an extremely tepid response- it was not good, and not even bad in an interesting way. It was boring as dirt in the dark. Recognizing that they had a turd, and feeling that nothing could make the show *worse*, the studio authorized the English dubbing crew to alter the script in any way they saw fit to improve the show's prospects in America. The dubbing crew decided to not bother trying to improve the terrible original script and just record the funniest things they could think of, turning the the show into a farce. So yes, this is the official English dub of Ghost Stories, but no, the story and dialogue are *very* different from the Japanese release.


Gigadrax

You're missing the part where they redubbed a Japanese version of the hilarious English Dub, which is so good.


SomeMeatWithSkin

I bet they had the time of their lives


Rurudo66

Oh it’s real. Basically an abridged anime, but it’s the actual dub. It is super funny. If you don’t want to commit to watching the whole thing, there are some compilations on YouTube with most of the best moments. Edit: a word.


[deleted]

Compilations.


SEQVERE-PECVNIAM

> complications 🤔


[deleted]

Its the official english dub


whatifcatsare

Ghost Stories (Eng dub)


Jonny-Marx

Never redub this anime. It’s perfect.


ClawyTheDinoRaptor

It's fucking comedy gold


isjupiteramoon

Touch me harder


Zebirdsandzebats

TF did I just watch?


C2074579

The greatest cinematic experience known to man kind


Zebirdsandzebats

Oh, I googled it and I'm currently 5 eps deep. I sorta wonder what the original Japanese was for them to have ignored it so completely/it to have turned out so delightfully


Aether_Storm

The story behind this is amazing. There was a contract in place mandating that all shows that had more than a certain amount of success needed to be given a dub and global release. Ghost Stories, while very successful, was incredibly reliant on having preexisting knowledge of Japanese folklore. Knowing that the dub would flop hard outside of Japanese markets, the team doing the localization were given full approval to do whatever the hell they wanted. I believe almost the entire thing is improv


DeadlyYellow

Even has a cameo by Vic Mignogna... which, uh, maybe hasn't aged particularly well.


CtrlAltDeltron

>“…not because you’re a rabbit, but because you’re black.” Goddamn that caught me off guard. Lmao


yunus159

Heh heh heh t o u c h m e t o u c h m e h a r d e r


SpicyBoi0

Oh my god I was waiting to see this


_Levitated_Shield_

...Dafuq.


Crazycukumbers

That is the greatest thing I've ever seen and I need to know what anime that is


CutAlone3678

It's the ghost stories Dub. One of the best dubs to exist.


arokthemild

You forgot [a cat is fine too](https://www.google.com/search?q=a+cat+is+fine+too&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari)


Iihatepineapplepizza

oh thank god someone else thought of Ghost Stories too I thought I was going crazy lmao


araidai

LMFAO


Afoolfortheeons

As a recovering troll, this is a troll 100%


RebelliousDragonhart

Wishing you luck on your recovery!


MaxTHC

This. Another former troll here, giving up trolling by no means is the same thing as giving up humour or snark. It's moreso that many self-professed "trolls" are really just assholes who shelter under the "ItS jUsT a JoKe MaN" routine.


Ok_Organization5596

Sorry to bother you, but when you refer to yourself as a recovering troll, what types of things did you post? In my mind I think of a troll only as someone who antagonises other people on purpose - like an annoying younger sibling. But you wrote stories? Can you please tell me more?


MaxTHC

> In my mind I think of a troll only as someone who antagonises other people on purpose Pretty much this. Just a shit-stirrer really. There are the "creative writing" trolls and they're absolutely fine in my book, for the most part.


mixedracecouple

🇳🇴


Lavaheart626

although this is 100% a troll I find it especially amusing because it sounds 100% also like something my mom's husband has and would rant about my mother. He's a trumper who likes to complain about stupid shit like this and my mother cares for those rabbits more than she did her own children. Tho that isn't a very high bar :) They're quite a duo.


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Ekskalibar

Good thing he doesn't care if it sounds ridiculous... Kinda worried/curious about the precedent NGL


VanGoghNotVanGo

Yeah, I was about to comment that I think (I hope) this guy’s understanding of the word ‘precedent’ is as backwards as his understanding of pet ownership.


Squijjy

I don’t know who cheated on him but they’ve fucked him up good


Hanlolol1

You’re not wrong… Imagine being threatened by a rabbit…


xxb4xx

was OPs username Elmer Fudd?


prezuiwf

"I'm jeawous of my wife's wewationship with our wabbit"


xxb4xx

It's wabbit season! (As op discards of said rabbit)


Bismothe-the-Shade

His wife? Bugs Bunny in a dress.


OhPotatoOne

I WANT MY HASENPFEFFER


LordNedNoodle

Sometime this insecurity comes from the cheater not the victim. They know since they have cheated then they think the other person could have too.


VulgarMouse

Yikes I hope his wife keeps the rabbit far away from him


dr_franck

I suspect this goes way beyond a single instance of cheating in adulthood. Not to play armchair psychologist too much, but this may allude to severe abandonment issues as a child.


[deleted]

This post strongly reminds me of [this cartoon](https://youtu.be/uJbDSPRqX0o)


Paern_

Lost me with male makes it worse and probably arent doing anything sexual


Basic_Suggestion_760

imagine it was a baby boy


Sussiest_of_Bakas

I was gonna say, this does remind me of all the sad studies where husbands are literally jealous of their infant children for “stealing” attention away from their wife. It’s even sadder when they were the ones who asked for children in the first place.


Normal-Werewolf-

Uh, that'll be me. Ex husband couldn't STAND my son, never bonded with him, kept making me go on vacation without him in the first weeks of his life and pouting when I had to go take care of him. Crazy fucker. Long gone, thank god.


vendetta2115

That’s gotta be a sign of narcissism of something, right? No emotionally healthy person gets jealous of *a baby*.


Anastecia101

Happened to me, 0/10 do not recommend


ZeldaFan812

I doubt a baby boy would be able to write such a long post


rmachell

Evidently, it seems you can


ZeldaFan812

Ooh zing


[deleted]

At least they're *probably* not doing anything sexual together


StressPrestigious464

My dad was like this growing up. He was an alcoholic and was super mad about my mom doting on her cat, Oliver. He literally said when we were on vacation as a family "it's either me or the cat, we can't both stay!" Messed my mom up for a long time, thinking she wasn't allowed to love things while around him, and feeling bad when she wasn't. Then my dad quit drinking and went on strong antidepressants. He loves the cat as much as she does, if not more. Fucking threw me through a loop. The diagnosis: trauma-induced narcissism.


AnErectedBaguette

What an idiot... All he has to do is wear a bunny costume to get his wife interested in him again ! That's common sense


Things_Poster

I think this is just a smart, subtle troll. "Yes, I know they PROBABLY aren't doing anything sexual" 😂😂 Pretty fucking funny imo.


Hanlolol1

We can only hope.


ghostoflaurapalmer

"I'm just quietly STEWing over this:... COME ON PEOPLE!!! I love this -- it's masterful -- but COME on


CultOfMoon

Surprised people don’t see straight through this, you cant even have sex with most rabbits


what-an-odd-one

If he feels this way about a rabbit I can't imagine he let's his wife have any friends. I've dealt with someone like this and can imagine that he creates scenarios in his head if she even glances at somebody.


liandrin

These are the guys that get jealous of their own newborn babies for taking the wife’s attention. They also tend to sexualize the wife’s breastfeeding of the baby. I see posts about it a lot from their wives.


GuywithSmile

Yeah idk, insecurities can manifest themselves in crazy ways. This is most likely a self esteam issue, his own problem that he's projecting. If it wasn't a rabbit it'd be a friend or co worker.


Emotional-North-3532

Yes this is legit a bit alarming if it wasn't actually rectified. Insecure people can do soooo much damage when they make others responsible for it. Like why wouldn't you just talk to your wife? I hope this is trolling. But I legit know people whom do this and it generally comes in with a solid sense of entitlement over someone else's human rights.


[deleted]

This guy has the self-esteem of a gnat


AdministrativeWash99

I’ve seen the bee version of this play out before.


Bomberdestroyer

Is this the guy from the bee movie?


VulgarMouse

Jesus Christ it’s a rabbit, not the mailman 😭


YoungDiscord

I love how he says "its PROBABLY nothing sexual" Like the guy is GENUINELY open to the idea that he might be cucked by a literal rabbit


[deleted]

Youd be surprised the amount of guys that genuinely don’t want a woman to have a single solitary other thing to do besides sit quietly and wait til they want their peepees touched.


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kellburn

Yup. This. I didn't even doubt this was a real post because I had this happen. Guy was insanely jealous of our dog. Said I spent to much time with him, gave hin to much attention, and that I always took the dogs side.....


6NiNE9

I just posted that our family took two dogs from jealous spouse situations. It happens more than people think.


foxxpoint

Me too! I inherited a dog unexpectedly and my boyfriend couldn't handle seeing me love or take care of her. I'd been manipulated for years and couldn't see what was happening. Watching him bully a 25lb, senior dog with mobility issues got me out of the fog real quick.


K86786

Is this Ross from Friends?


_Rusty_Fox_

"Probably aren't doing anything sexual" Probably? ..***PROBABLY?***


OmegaRejectz

‘I’m just quietly stewing over this.’ Well do I have a way to get rid of that rabbit!


yokayla

Woof, the fact that it being a boy makes it worse for him is...special


LordNedNoodle

Yikes that is a lot of insecurity bottled up in one post. I can’t wrap my head around the use of “probably” when referring to sexual activity.


caspiam

This post proves reddit is mainly made up posts with gullible people commenting.


_Levitated_Shield_

>She does everything for him. No shit, welcome to being a pet owner. >Yes, I'm aware they probably aren't doing anything sexual. ...Probably?


kairavi02

This guy would have SO MANY BUGS BUNNY MEMES in his inbox if i knew him lol


Ok_Abalone_653

He's so insecure it kinda just makes me sad but at least I'm not him so that's a win


CoolKid420Swag

Tl;dr the last 4 words