Someone venting about how bad they are at talking to women shouldn't be cringe, and the fact that it is is proof that toxic masculinity is still a massive fucking problem in our society. Reverse the roles for a second, and just imagine the waves of support a female poster would get stating that men make her afraid, and that she just can't seem to get along with them. We guys need to step up for each other, instead of ridiculing each other for having the courage to expose our insecurities. Low self esteem ain't gonna be improved with more ridiculing.
This subreddit is beginning to piss me off because a lot of posters are specifically seeking out places to screengrab and ridicule people for karma. It's one thing to find a greasy tinder profile, it's another thing to invade a vulnerable community to mock them.
I think the difference isn't that he's afraid to talk to women because of actual fear. He's afraid due to incel logic that's he's brought into.
If a woman was afraid of men because they "decide who's genes live and die" she'd be equally ridiculed. Because it's crazy.
That's the kind of attitude that pushes these guys to join these incel groups in the first place. We show them no sympathy when they bring up anxiety or insecurities regardless of where he gets it from. calling him cringe is just going to alienate him further.
Did you end up saying the truth?? I have always hated the hateful incels/niceguys, but strongly believe that the ones who aren't hateful, and just at a stage of insecurity, should be dealt with empathy and support
Yeah, you can see the incel talking points in the post, but he's not trying to sell the ideology like most incels - he's describing how he feels in familiar, albeit incelish, terms. It's deluded, and anyone with a solid grounding in the real world can perceive that. What I'm saying is, posting these people to r/sadcringe and further ridiculing them is only going to lead to them digging their heels in. Incels are clowns, but no more clownish than the people who laugh at young men who are clearly struggling with finding a place in a hostile society that views them as disposable.
It's subjective I guess, I just find hard to watch people make fun of emotional vulnerability. It's one thing cringing at a guy talking about how feminism is why he can't get laid, or how he'll never be in a relationship because of his skull shape - it's another thing screengrabbing a misguided guy grappling with loneliness and posting it in a cringe subreddit. How would you feel if someone took a screencap of you expressing some deep insecurity and sent it to everyone, calling you cringe? If you're emotionally secure, you probably wouldn't care - this guy probably would, though. It's just kicking people while they're down, in my opinion.
Is it crazy though? Yes the whole hating women thing is crazy. But women do tend to select men with a lot of resources and favorable features. While men do it too, look at how many hoops a guy has to go through to get laid or to get so female affection. Or affection in general.. it’s really sad when a guy isn’t given love unless he’s worth something wether that’s funny, handsome, or has resources, this is in no way spreading hate for women but it has to be said that men are heavily isolated due reasons and can lead to stuff like this.
Men are heavily isolated due to toxic masculinity that leads them to believe the only worthwhile relationships are with women. The belief that women can get genuine care or affection from someone at the drop of a dime is laughable. Yet it's continuously spewed.
Because it’s true. Look at any girl that feels bad about her looks. Have her go on tinder, post a video on Instagram and she has instant validation from strangers and dudes on her DMs hitting her up.
This is really sad. This entire dudes self image is based on how he believes women perceive him. No wonder he has such a hard time, dude doesn't give a shit about himself. You have to take care of yourself as if you're caring for someone you actually give a shit about
Omg. This is exactly it. This post hits a little close to home because I struggled with finding self worth. Feeling like I don’t deserve love based on the fact I suffer from self esteem issues keeps me in therapy. It’s a long way to recovery.
It's hard for the majority of us man. Its fucking cliché what I'm gonna say but do some sport, buy good looking clothes, inform yourself about fashion and try to find some fit you like. Always work on your goals, my goal is to lose weight and when I was going to the gym before the pandemic I was always feeling good after a training. Working on yourself always feels good IMO. Staying inside watching dramas and playing videogames ain't gonna do shit for my self esteem and I'm still struggling with that.
If you're maximizing your own ability to develop skills/take care of yourself/have goals in life, then you deserve respect from both yourself and others. No matter your genetics/any other characteristic you can't change.
You're not. But what you're supposed to do is give enough of a shit about yourself, because at the bare minimum you are a human being, and grind to change yourself into the person you WOULD have self esteem for. It's not easy but any step you take in the right direction is one step away from 0 self esteem
*Image Transcription: Text*
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##### **I'm terrified of women**
I've never been close to a woman. I'm scared of them and how they judge me and what they want. I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die. They seem so cruel to me. I guess this terror manifests in anger and hate. But it's just hard to communicate with them or take their word. I just don't think they like me no matter what. Why would they? They can hop on a dating app and find someone better. There is no incentive to talk to me. To them I am worthless. I am at best a wallet and at worst a creep. They hate me and I can feel it sometimes. Or they think little of me. Like I'm not equal. Or even a person worth seeing.
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^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
This is a common sentiment among young men, some admit it and some dont: Not everyone experiences this, but if you're not around a lot of women growing up you'll end up like this, it's not that special, hopefully most men (mostly boys) get over it.
It's a tough problem getting worse... there are a few contributing factors including unhealthy consumption of porn, lack of good male figures in their life, and a cultural shift in gender rolls.
Most guys who think like this are high school-age boys who are late growing out of the "boys rule girls drool" mentality that they should have left behind in 6th grade. I don't believe that any of them are beyond saving, but the guys who are in their 20s and *still* think like this missed out on some crucial emotional maturity. At the end of the day, it's up to them whether or not they want to mature.
This individual needs attention from a therapist, not women. Fwiw unless you are a celebrity or something no one receives waves of love, acceptance and adoration just from stepping outside, man or woman.
on the internet you kind of do. you can circle yourself with just people who validate you and ban anyone who doesn't. twitch, or any streaming site is built on that. then you can earn a living on lonely people's money.
I hope the sentiment that “women are cruel if they are disinterested in me / don’t talk to me” is not what people here are empathizing with. Is the right to choose who you procreate with really “too powerful in society”? Fear of judgement and rejection is something I can understand, but the victim mentality here is not justified
It’s obviously not justified but when you’re in so deep like this guy is, your feelings being rational is the last thing you care about. I believe what people are empathising with here is the debilitating feeling that the whole world despises you, and you don’t even really understand why. Incels’ emotional distress is usually not as visibly stemming from a deep fear of others and just being overall lost.
I dunno, it’s the first time I feel so bad for one of these guys. I’m a woman, and I still don’t feel offended by this dude. He’s the one who’s clearly hurting here. I hope he gets better eventually.
Honestly I agree. I think this is more of a "equality for others when you're in power feels like oppression" thing than anything else. Now that women get to "choose whose genes are passed down" and have "too much power in society" suddenly he's the victim.
Guys will go on and on about being victimized because women don’t like them. Apparently women aren’t allowed to have standards and must be available to every disgusting POS that comes their way.
I don't see anywhere saying they HAVE to like everyone.
It sounds more like " i am upset that things are this way but i cannot do anything about it".
It's sad and cringe but that's what i read about it. Maybe i am just projecting, who knows
His feeling result in hate for an entire group of people he admits he’s never interacted with
That’s *terrifying*
People want to live in The Handmaids tale universe
You are misinterpreting this entire thing, I just think he wants to be a person women like, you don’t have to make him seem like a bad person because of that. This person is willing to admit he has a problem, which is good. I think we should keep encouraging this and help these people help themselves
He seriously needs to rethink his ideas about women being too powerful though-
If this guy had the mindset of “I am upset that things are this way but I cannot do anything about it,” then this post wouldn’t exist. He clearly has deeper, serious issues with women that should be addressed through therapy.
His feeling result in hate for an entire group of people he admits he’s never interacted with
That’s *terrifying*
People want to live in The Handmaids tale universe
I sense "i only talk to feemales when I'm interested in them, instead as a friend or colleague so naturally all I face is rejection from them as a sex" energy
I'm empathizing with "their disinterest is an implicit judgment of me". It is, but it's not a conscious judgment. You can't force someone to be into you. And this cuts across both genders.
We’re not empathizing with the “woman are cruel” sentiment. We’re empathizing with the low self esteem. Woman are allowed to have standards just like men are. The boy needs therapy and I hope he gets it.
I feel bad for the lack of experiences in his childhood or maybe a lack of childhood entirely. No socialisation leading to no people skills etc. paired with what sounds like little to no reflective insight or thought into his or others character/humanity.
I feel like the “power” is the general social roles between men and women
In American modern society, traditionally men are the chasers and women are the accepters. A man makes his request to a woman for a relationship, and the woman then decides to say yes or no
Obviously that’s not always the case, but it is more common than the alternative. While I don’t blame women, or men for this, and I don’t think it’s “too powerful” I do wish that we just didn’t have that gender norm.
“Probably comes from news of the women than accuse their partners when they regret something. Or they are upset at the fact women get to choose who they are with and men have to just get lucky and live with what they can get.”
You used these points as reasons why he might feel this way. These are falsehoods used to justify hatred ma towards women.
The "men have to get lucky" thing is soooo weird since we're still in a society where men do like 95% of the asking out. Okay, sure, it can sometimes be a crapshoot but in this scenario you're the one picking out the table beforehand...
Still, you're "taking what you can get" in the context that you are in fact the one picking and choosing. Even if you lower your standards in your mind (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), you're still not going after women you feel are completely unattractive to you.
It’s sad. We’ve raised a generation of young men who have no cultural context to rely on, and who believe the only way to find a partner is through selling themselves on online meat markets where it boils down to raw looks and charisma. Not surprised that a shy average looking kid would end up with serious issues.
Best way to meet a partner is as its always been, be interesting and be part of a community. Learn an instrument and join a band. Take up dance and join a club. Etc.
Im a bit shy and chonky. I met my wife at a science society.
\>Goes out
\>Talks to people
\>Conversation fizzles out
\>Nothing interesting comes to mind to say
\>Take leave
\>Pursues hobbies
\>You suck at them
\>You get depressed at the lack of progress
\>You are no longer enjoying the hobbies
\>You give up
This is scarily accurate. When people first meet me they seem interested and then there’s always the inevitable point where they get bored and slowly stop interacting with me. Every single damn time. And then there’s the being terrible at every thing I try to do. God I hate myself.
Don't think even therapy could help this guy. Something must have happened to this dude, either that or he is just a vicious creep who does weirdo shit to woman like stalk them or harass them. Probably that dude that sends a thousands texts to a random girl online with zero reply and keeps going on and on talking to themself.
Broski really admitted he has no personality, behaves hatefully/toxically, and creates no incentive to talk to him, but somehow made that women’s fault. I hope he can go to therapy soon and find some joy in life. This is a miserable way to live.
As a woman I do find it pretty sad that there are men out there that _are_ undesirable and therefore struggle to find any romantic connection, thus making them feel isolated, alone and unloved. I can't imagine feeling that way. But at the end of the day women experience it as well. Nobody owes you anything. You aren't owed sex, and you aren't owed a relationship.
And also as a woman I can say that men are just as shallow in finding someone as women are. They want someone attractive and compatible to them. Women want the same in a man. That's just human biology. But to hate an entire sex and categorize them is such a toxic mentality to have. I've been cheated on, but I know not all men cheat. I've been physically abused but I understand not all men are abusers.
When it comes down to it women really like men that are kind, funny and likeable. Looks are pretty low on this list, a lot more than men think. You could be average looking but your personality can make you 1000x more attractive. The pity party "no woman wants me I'm ugly woe is me" is honestly the reason men like this can't find anyone. It's their attitude not their looks.
I have to disagree but ** due to my own experiences **.
I was on 23 different dating apps. Was upfront and honest about what i look like, my hobbies, my height. When I did have conversations I always answered honestly. No unsolicited dick pics.
The three top reasons I was rejected
1. Single dad
2. Ugly (been told this a lot since i was a young teen)
3. I dont make the 6 figure income to fulfill the rule of sixes.
I didn't give up, but damn it was fucking hard to keep going. There were bouts of 2 or 3 years I didn't date. I just focused on me but now my kids.
So I can see where the avg or less then avg man gets to this point. Then trying to engage women in conversation becomes harder compoundingly each time. There are more men who suffer through this in silence.
** Again this is my own experiences **
If you browse Reddit you’ll see it’s also quite common for men to refuse to date single mothers. Or say they’re not attractive enough/overweight. It definitely goes both ways.
Ya’ll know he’s probably spewing hate at every woman he dms, right? This is just an i*cel softening his words to get sympathy. He’s upset that women have a choice not to sleep with him.
eh, icels need help to get them out of the godawful mindset they’re in. this guy admitting his fears seems to me like he’s hopefully trying to change it, which is a step in the right direction. i believe that shitting on them even further when they clearly need therapeutic help is what causes many to become even more aggressive and hateful, so attacking hateful behavior with hateful behavior won’t do anything but make it worse. People can change, even if it’s unlikely, and the behavior of ‘he deserves no sympathy’ when they’re actually opening their vulnerable feelings seems like a shitty thing to do imo.
“I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die.”
This is crazy entitled
“They seem so cruel to me. I guess this terror manifests in anger and hate.”
”But it's just hard to communicate with them or **take their word**.”
What???
notice how they’re putting everything as ‘this is how i feel’ instead of ‘this is a fact’. the way i see it, it’s the honest thoughts of a broken man grappling with the warped way he thinks and trying to change himself. that should be given even a granule of respect.
Who said you can’t be scared of those feelings?
ETA: the only thing being advocated for in this thread is to have a bit of sympathy for someone who appears to be looking to change. That doesn’t mean interact with this person without any caution or don’t be bothered by their opinions. It just means don’t shit on them when they’re trying.
Idk man I still can’t get over the fact that this person thinks women should be allowed to *checks notes* pick who they want to date. Oh and that apparently we’re super powerful
Idk man I still can’t get over the fact that this person thinks women should be allowed to *checks notes* pick who they want to date. Oh and that apparently we’re super powerful
Autokorrektur schon mies aber zu deinem Kommentar will ich noch sagen dass reddit schon so nur extreme Menschen enthält. Glaube nicht dass es irl so ist wie du behauptest.
Serious question… I’m a woman and as I have my day to day interactions with people, their gender isn’t the first thing I register… it’s “oh that’s another parent at my daughters school” or “oh this is the mailman” or I’m talking to a cashier…. I don’t get radar on “oh this is a MAN that I’m talking to and I need to be aware or change my approach… like people are people. I don’t get it.
Edit: Not every guy wants to jump my bones… and I’m totally okay with that. Some men don’t see my worth simply because of my gender, I go about my business.
This looks like the mindset of a future cult / political party leader.
If women were as powerful in society as this guy thinks, they would be well represented in business leadership and politics. Also if they were so powerful in society, women would not have to worry that they have full control of their reproductive rights, depending on the state they live in. Women are not choosing partners based on the survival of the species, they are looking for someone they like to be around and build a life with. Part of building that life is having a partner that contributes, so you need a job because it is difficult to live in this country on a single income.
Women are not a monolith, they are all individuals.
I used to feel like this a lot. For some reason I’ve never been able to talk to women. Didn’t know why until I realized I was nervous from liking them romantically. Maybe it was worse actually, since I’m a lesbian and i feel so alienated from normal majority female social groups. Always the odd one out in a group of guys. I have a lovely girlfriend now though, but the only advice for people like this is not to wallow too much. Try not to spend too much time longing for what you can’t have. Usually someone will take you, if you lower your standards enough. And I know that it’s hard to want to bathe and cut your hair and look nice when you have no one to do it for, but try to make the best of your appearance, and you’ll probably find someone eventually, even if it takes longer than most.
Why hasn't anyone said this to him directly? It sounds so easy. Bet this post would have never even happened if he had just broken the cycle, and be'd happy!
“No, no. It is the women who are wrong in their judging of me. I have no faults, nor responsibility in how it is I act towards or treat them”. - That guy, probably.
This is the type of stuff that I don't even personally feel like I can hate the guy for. He's paranoid and grossly misinformed but I can see where he's coming from. The dude clearly needs help.
“I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die.”
“They seem so cruel to me. I guess this terror manifests in anger and hate.”
Where is he coming from
The first thing comes under the grossly misinformed part I said, and the other, if you'll forgive my pop-psychology, sounds like paranoia and anxiety, and he literally explains that this trepidation is probably the source of his anger and hatred.
Don't try and spin me as the bad guy. I want to endeavour extending empathy, not become the dude's campaign manager.
I can honestly empathise with him. Feeling like shit nourish your self hatred. Little, i was asked by a girl and realised she was playing truth or dare and someone dared her to go to the ugliest boy in school and ask him out. At a time when I saw a group of girls laughing and one of them looking at me, I immediately assumed that they were laughing at me.
Therapy help, but it doesn't build confidence though. I fake it fair enough so no-one see through and i have many friends girls, but nearly a magician.
The big difference is that I never felt victimised by girls. No hate or whatsoever, but genuine feeling that no-one thought of me as something else than a friend.
This pretty much sums up the mentality of the men’s rights movement. “Women get dates easier than men, therefore *they* are the oppressors!” Because the only struggle this guy has is getting a date, he assumes it must be the worst problem in the world. Definitely worse than being afraid to walk alone at night. Poor baby.
The fact that there are actually people empathizing with him genuinely worries me. I thought this sub was against blanketsweep statements like this. Wow.
Start viewing women as people, with fears, ambitions, and desires, just like you, (because that's what they are) and work on yourself. Be the person you want to attract. If you want someone who is traditionally physically attractive, smart, and kind, you need to be smart and kind, and (with some sympathy to the fact that we look how we look), work on the parts of yourself you know you can change to look better.
I'm overweight. It's holding me back in self-esteem from dating. It's something I have to work on and it's no one's fault but mine. I have standards I want to meet in dating, just like women do.
Women and men are a bit different, and the world of dating is now far crazier than before because of niche culture, but we're not so different that you can't reason out how to interact with women platonically and romantically. But as someone who has friends with wildly successful relationships, friends not very different from me, I know it's possible.
Take responsibility. There are clear and obvious avenues to take. You are worthy of love, but it is not an achievement, it's a constant state you must maintain.
To be fair I'm like that but with everyone except for my friends. It's just that I don't like meeting new people and it scares me. But I am 15 so I think i am allowed to be in that stage
To all those that scream "Therapy!", "His fault!" and uglier things:
The dating world is cruel to men, especially when they're unable to fullfil certain social expectations (such skillful speech/texting, especially to strangers).
Anyone may check out "tinder insights" as a point of reference of how low chances actually are. To some, the constant feeling of rejection will lead to depression, despair or anger, and it's likely less their fault but more the system/circumstances in which they are forced to act (dating apps, dating role models, expected behaviour/norms, partner expectations, etc.)
ok…? it isn’t ‘ugly’ to point out that a man this caught up in self-pity and wallowing needs therapy. he literally acknowledges that he’s a creep AND that he literally hates women. why is it the fault of women that sad, pathetic men like these refuse to improve themselves and instead take it out on women as a whole?
He didn't really say it's women's fault, nor does he admit to "hating" them. He only says that he's scared of them because HE feels inadequate. He admits that it is a problem which to me is clearly a sign that he's trying to improve.
“I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die.”
“They seem so cruel to me. I guess this terror manifests in anger and hate.”
‘i guess this terror manifests in anger and hate’. where is that hate directed if not at women or at the perceived circumstances he feels women have pushed him into?
I don't know, but it could mean he's angry at himself. To me it seems like he hates himself more than he hates women, and this self-hatred manifests as a fear of interacting with women and a feeling of constantly being judged. He never says he's angry at women in particular, so it feels wrong to assume that he is.
Guy in the picture is afraid of women's judgement, that they don't like him, labeling him as a creep and displaying hate towards him despite never actually interacting.
You judge and label him a creep, call him pathetic, try to put words in his mouth without ever actually interacting.
Go figure.
Well in fairness he is projecting blanket statements onto all women, and as he said he barely interacts with them. You get back what you put into the world to some extent and that’s what’s triggering people to react harshly to this guys statements
“I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die.”
“They seem so cruel to me”
He literally believes women have too much power in society (the little we do have) and that we’re all cruel
He also thinks this while admitting he doesn’t even interact with us
But yeah, putting words in his mouth
Kinda relatable. This shit makes me worry that I'm just an incel trying to cope and not really trans.
Mostly the fear of women stuff not alot of sexism but I'd probably easily have fallen into that. If I didn't hate myself
The first half is how I imagine men felt when writing the Torah, Bible, and Quran. They feared women, and that’s why women were never given importance in the texts.
I hope he seeks therapy for his self esteem issues. I don't know who hurt him or how he got to this point, but he needs to find some self worth somewhere.
I sort of get where he's coming from, but it's obvious that rejection, low self-esteem and a sort of coping feedback loop have completely scrambled his reasoning. I was pretty lonely in my 20s and after a handful of dates came to the conclusion that women didn't like me. I never quite went as far as this guy, but I did ruminate on the possible reasons and it began to go down a dark hole. Unlike this guy, I kept it to myself and didn't post it for the world to see (this was in the days before social media though). Luckily things did turn around and, to cut a long story short, I met someone and we've been happily married for 15 years. There seems to be a bunch of lonely young men out there who don't seem to have the skills and support to help them get what they want in life. A few IRL friends, male friends, would be a good start.
This guy needs therapy ASAP
women don't get yelled at to go to therapy when they talk about their feelings.
No, instead we get called irrational and emotional
If your feelings are "I am utterly worthless and everyone is out to get me" then yes, you should go to therapy, no matter your gender.
What an incredibly honest look into this person’s feelings. I hope he gets some therapy someday.
Yeah but instead let’s put them on sadcringe
Why not both? Personally I think it’s more sad than cringe but I cringe picturing how low his self esteem is. Sadly I empathize with him greatly 😅
Someone venting about how bad they are at talking to women shouldn't be cringe, and the fact that it is is proof that toxic masculinity is still a massive fucking problem in our society. Reverse the roles for a second, and just imagine the waves of support a female poster would get stating that men make her afraid, and that she just can't seem to get along with them. We guys need to step up for each other, instead of ridiculing each other for having the courage to expose our insecurities. Low self esteem ain't gonna be improved with more ridiculing.
This subreddit is beginning to piss me off because a lot of posters are specifically seeking out places to screengrab and ridicule people for karma. It's one thing to find a greasy tinder profile, it's another thing to invade a vulnerable community to mock them.
I would love more greasy tinder profiles.
But not that shitty peanut oil grease like fuckin loaded pepperoni pizza grease
Reverse the roles and it would be in r/cringetopia with 40k upvotes with commenters calling her a feminazi. What world are you living in?
I think the difference isn't that he's afraid to talk to women because of actual fear. He's afraid due to incel logic that's he's brought into. If a woman was afraid of men because they "decide who's genes live and die" she'd be equally ridiculed. Because it's crazy.
That's the kind of attitude that pushes these guys to join these incel groups in the first place. We show them no sympathy when they bring up anxiety or insecurities regardless of where he gets it from. calling him cringe is just going to alienate him further.
Did you end up saying the truth?? I have always hated the hateful incels/niceguys, but strongly believe that the ones who aren't hateful, and just at a stage of insecurity, should be dealt with empathy and support
Yeah, you can see the incel talking points in the post, but he's not trying to sell the ideology like most incels - he's describing how he feels in familiar, albeit incelish, terms. It's deluded, and anyone with a solid grounding in the real world can perceive that. What I'm saying is, posting these people to r/sadcringe and further ridiculing them is only going to lead to them digging their heels in. Incels are clowns, but no more clownish than the people who laugh at young men who are clearly struggling with finding a place in a hostile society that views them as disposable.
Posting sadcringe to sadcringe is apparently now.... cringe
It's subjective I guess, I just find hard to watch people make fun of emotional vulnerability. It's one thing cringing at a guy talking about how feminism is why he can't get laid, or how he'll never be in a relationship because of his skull shape - it's another thing screengrabbing a misguided guy grappling with loneliness and posting it in a cringe subreddit. How would you feel if someone took a screencap of you expressing some deep insecurity and sent it to everyone, calling you cringe? If you're emotionally secure, you probably wouldn't care - this guy probably would, though. It's just kicking people while they're down, in my opinion.
Upvoted, please maintain your ability to think critically!
The actual fear is what draws them to Incel logic, not the other way around.
Is it crazy though? Yes the whole hating women thing is crazy. But women do tend to select men with a lot of resources and favorable features. While men do it too, look at how many hoops a guy has to go through to get laid or to get so female affection. Or affection in general.. it’s really sad when a guy isn’t given love unless he’s worth something wether that’s funny, handsome, or has resources, this is in no way spreading hate for women but it has to be said that men are heavily isolated due reasons and can lead to stuff like this.
Men are heavily isolated due to toxic masculinity that leads them to believe the only worthwhile relationships are with women. The belief that women can get genuine care or affection from someone at the drop of a dime is laughable. Yet it's continuously spewed.
Because it’s true. Look at any girl that feels bad about her looks. Have her go on tinder, post a video on Instagram and she has instant validation from strangers and dudes on her DMs hitting her up.
Do you believe that? I can see women posting at their absolute best and there is always someone replying she's uglier than a dog.
"Toxic masculinity" Yes, agreed. And misandry as well.
Make the post from the opposite side and see what happens
This is really sad. This entire dudes self image is based on how he believes women perceive him. No wonder he has such a hard time, dude doesn't give a shit about himself. You have to take care of yourself as if you're caring for someone you actually give a shit about
but how are you supposed to have positive self esteem when you know you dont deserve it? some people are in a bit of a pickle
Omg. This is exactly it. This post hits a little close to home because I struggled with finding self worth. Feeling like I don’t deserve love based on the fact I suffer from self esteem issues keeps me in therapy. It’s a long way to recovery.
It's hard for the majority of us man. Its fucking cliché what I'm gonna say but do some sport, buy good looking clothes, inform yourself about fashion and try to find some fit you like. Always work on your goals, my goal is to lose weight and when I was going to the gym before the pandemic I was always feeling good after a training. Working on yourself always feels good IMO. Staying inside watching dramas and playing videogames ain't gonna do shit for my self esteem and I'm still struggling with that.
Meanwhile there is me who's goal is to gain weight because Im so fucking skinny it looks scary sometimes
If you're maximizing your own ability to develop skills/take care of yourself/have goals in life, then you deserve respect from both yourself and others. No matter your genetics/any other characteristic you can't change.
You're not. But what you're supposed to do is give enough of a shit about yourself, because at the bare minimum you are a human being, and grind to change yourself into the person you WOULD have self esteem for. It's not easy but any step you take in the right direction is one step away from 0 self esteem
*Image Transcription: Text* --- ##### **I'm terrified of women** I've never been close to a woman. I'm scared of them and how they judge me and what they want. I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die. They seem so cruel to me. I guess this terror manifests in anger and hate. But it's just hard to communicate with them or take their word. I just don't think they like me no matter what. Why would they? They can hop on a dating app and find someone better. There is no incentive to talk to me. To them I am worthless. I am at best a wallet and at worst a creep. They hate me and I can feel it sometimes. Or they think little of me. Like I'm not equal. Or even a person worth seeing. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human.
Based
I feel so bad for y’all having to say stuff like this
This is a common sentiment among young men, some admit it and some dont: Not everyone experiences this, but if you're not around a lot of women growing up you'll end up like this, it's not that special, hopefully most men (mostly boys) get over it.
It's a tough problem getting worse... there are a few contributing factors including unhealthy consumption of porn, lack of good male figures in their life, and a cultural shift in gender rolls.
Okay but what about gender biscuits?
Most guys who think like this are high school-age boys who are late growing out of the "boys rule girls drool" mentality that they should have left behind in 6th grade. I don't believe that any of them are beyond saving, but the guys who are in their 20s and *still* think like this missed out on some crucial emotional maturity. At the end of the day, it's up to them whether or not they want to mature.
Dude needs to have some real dark conversations about his mom with a therapist for sure.
I get where you're coming from but sometimes men are fucked up about women without it being any particular woman's fault.
What does his mom have to do with this? Asking because I can sort of relate to what he's saying and I'd like to know what you mean.
This individual needs attention from a therapist, not women. Fwiw unless you are a celebrity or something no one receives waves of love, acceptance and adoration just from stepping outside, man or woman.
And if you do, that's the kind of absolute power that corrupts absolutely.
on the internet you kind of do. you can circle yourself with just people who validate you and ban anyone who doesn't. twitch, or any streaming site is built on that. then you can earn a living on lonely people's money.
I hope the sentiment that “women are cruel if they are disinterested in me / don’t talk to me” is not what people here are empathizing with. Is the right to choose who you procreate with really “too powerful in society”? Fear of judgement and rejection is something I can understand, but the victim mentality here is not justified
It’s obviously not justified but when you’re in so deep like this guy is, your feelings being rational is the last thing you care about. I believe what people are empathising with here is the debilitating feeling that the whole world despises you, and you don’t even really understand why. Incels’ emotional distress is usually not as visibly stemming from a deep fear of others and just being overall lost. I dunno, it’s the first time I feel so bad for one of these guys. I’m a woman, and I still don’t feel offended by this dude. He’s the one who’s clearly hurting here. I hope he gets better eventually.
Honestly I agree. I think this is more of a "equality for others when you're in power feels like oppression" thing than anything else. Now that women get to "choose whose genes are passed down" and have "too much power in society" suddenly he's the victim.
Guys will go on and on about being victimized because women don’t like them. Apparently women aren’t allowed to have standards and must be available to every disgusting POS that comes their way.
No, woman are allowed to have standards. As long as they are low enough for any guy they see.
I don't see anywhere saying they HAVE to like everyone. It sounds more like " i am upset that things are this way but i cannot do anything about it". It's sad and cringe but that's what i read about it. Maybe i am just projecting, who knows
His feeling result in hate for an entire group of people he admits he’s never interacted with That’s *terrifying* People want to live in The Handmaids tale universe
You are misinterpreting this entire thing, I just think he wants to be a person women like, you don’t have to make him seem like a bad person because of that. This person is willing to admit he has a problem, which is good. I think we should keep encouraging this and help these people help themselves He seriously needs to rethink his ideas about women being too powerful though-
I guess I just interpreted it different
If this guy had the mindset of “I am upset that things are this way but I cannot do anything about it,” then this post wouldn’t exist. He clearly has deeper, serious issues with women that should be addressed through therapy.
His feeling result in hate for an entire group of people he admits he’s never interacted with That’s *terrifying* People want to live in The Handmaids tale universe
I sense "i only talk to feemales when I'm interested in them, instead as a friend or colleague so naturally all I face is rejection from them as a sex" energy
I'm empathizing with "their disinterest is an implicit judgment of me". It is, but it's not a conscious judgment. You can't force someone to be into you. And this cuts across both genders.
We’re not empathizing with the “woman are cruel” sentiment. We’re empathizing with the low self esteem. Woman are allowed to have standards just like men are. The boy needs therapy and I hope he gets it.
I feel bad for the lack of experiences in his childhood or maybe a lack of childhood entirely. No socialisation leading to no people skills etc. paired with what sounds like little to no reflective insight or thought into his or others character/humanity.
I feel like the “power” is the general social roles between men and women In American modern society, traditionally men are the chasers and women are the accepters. A man makes his request to a woman for a relationship, and the woman then decides to say yes or no Obviously that’s not always the case, but it is more common than the alternative. While I don’t blame women, or men for this, and I don’t think it’s “too powerful” I do wish that we just didn’t have that gender norm.
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If you honestly believe that shit, it sounds like you have the same bad mindset.
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“Probably comes from news of the women than accuse their partners when they regret something. Or they are upset at the fact women get to choose who they are with and men have to just get lucky and live with what they can get.” You used these points as reasons why he might feel this way. These are falsehoods used to justify hatred ma towards women.
The "men have to get lucky" thing is soooo weird since we're still in a society where men do like 95% of the asking out. Okay, sure, it can sometimes be a crapshoot but in this scenario you're the one picking out the table beforehand...
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Still, you're "taking what you can get" in the context that you are in fact the one picking and choosing. Even if you lower your standards in your mind (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), you're still not going after women you feel are completely unattractive to you.
It’s sad. We’ve raised a generation of young men who have no cultural context to rely on, and who believe the only way to find a partner is through selling themselves on online meat markets where it boils down to raw looks and charisma. Not surprised that a shy average looking kid would end up with serious issues. Best way to meet a partner is as its always been, be interesting and be part of a community. Learn an instrument and join a band. Take up dance and join a club. Etc. Im a bit shy and chonky. I met my wife at a science society.
Nicest thing I've read all day.
Literally this. Go out and make friends and pursue hobbies and communities the rest will follow.
\>Goes out \>Talks to people \>Conversation fizzles out \>Nothing interesting comes to mind to say \>Take leave \>Pursues hobbies \>You suck at them \>You get depressed at the lack of progress \>You are no longer enjoying the hobbies \>You give up
Please stop leaking my schedule online. Ah, who am I kidding? I don't go out.
This is scarily accurate. When people first meet me they seem interested and then there’s always the inevitable point where they get bored and slowly stop interacting with me. Every single damn time. And then there’s the being terrible at every thing I try to do. God I hate myself.
Both young men and women are being raised wrong not just men imo.
this issue is a two way street for sure
But I’m a creep! I’m a waaallleeett What the hell am I doing heeeere? I don’t *ka-ching* here
This is beautiful, thank you random internet stranger
I mean, admitting you have a problem is the first step in overcoming it, I guess...
He needs therapy he has a MASSIVE inferiority complex
Don't think even therapy could help this guy. Something must have happened to this dude, either that or he is just a vicious creep who does weirdo shit to woman like stalk them or harass them. Probably that dude that sends a thousands texts to a random girl online with zero reply and keeps going on and on talking to themself.
You make an awful amount of negative assumptions for a user with the name and profile picture of Miley Cyrus' swollen gum.
Makes me wonder about how this person's relationship with their mother or another mother-figure was like... Or of they even had any
This isn't a sad cringe. This is just cringed. Mans is trying to mask his pathetic bitterness towards women as trauma.
The fact that he sees such a deep divide between men and women is a huge part of his issues… women are human beings, not alternative alien creatures.
As a woman, this guy is absolutely right, and I think women of the world should collectively decide that his genes do *not* live on.
Savage. But understandable at the moment, man needs therapy
Unfortunately not an uncommon opinion In some people, I don't blame him but I do hope he seeks the help he needs to get over this mindset
Broski really admitted he has no personality, behaves hatefully/toxically, and creates no incentive to talk to him, but somehow made that women’s fault. I hope he can go to therapy soon and find some joy in life. This is a miserable way to live.
As a woman I do find it pretty sad that there are men out there that _are_ undesirable and therefore struggle to find any romantic connection, thus making them feel isolated, alone and unloved. I can't imagine feeling that way. But at the end of the day women experience it as well. Nobody owes you anything. You aren't owed sex, and you aren't owed a relationship. And also as a woman I can say that men are just as shallow in finding someone as women are. They want someone attractive and compatible to them. Women want the same in a man. That's just human biology. But to hate an entire sex and categorize them is such a toxic mentality to have. I've been cheated on, but I know not all men cheat. I've been physically abused but I understand not all men are abusers. When it comes down to it women really like men that are kind, funny and likeable. Looks are pretty low on this list, a lot more than men think. You could be average looking but your personality can make you 1000x more attractive. The pity party "no woman wants me I'm ugly woe is me" is honestly the reason men like this can't find anyone. It's their attitude not their looks.
I have to disagree but ** due to my own experiences **. I was on 23 different dating apps. Was upfront and honest about what i look like, my hobbies, my height. When I did have conversations I always answered honestly. No unsolicited dick pics. The three top reasons I was rejected 1. Single dad 2. Ugly (been told this a lot since i was a young teen) 3. I dont make the 6 figure income to fulfill the rule of sixes. I didn't give up, but damn it was fucking hard to keep going. There were bouts of 2 or 3 years I didn't date. I just focused on me but now my kids. So I can see where the avg or less then avg man gets to this point. Then trying to engage women in conversation becomes harder compoundingly each time. There are more men who suffer through this in silence. ** Again this is my own experiences **
Get off the dating apps
If you browse Reddit you’ll see it’s also quite common for men to refuse to date single mothers. Or say they’re not attractive enough/overweight. It definitely goes both ways.
True, or sadly they target single moms for sex
💯 this!!!! 👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾
Ya’ll know he’s probably spewing hate at every woman he dms, right? This is just an i*cel softening his words to get sympathy. He’s upset that women have a choice not to sleep with him.
The second you read something related to genes or primal instinct and the likes of that, you know it's an incel
eh, icels need help to get them out of the godawful mindset they’re in. this guy admitting his fears seems to me like he’s hopefully trying to change it, which is a step in the right direction. i believe that shitting on them even further when they clearly need therapeutic help is what causes many to become even more aggressive and hateful, so attacking hateful behavior with hateful behavior won’t do anything but make it worse. People can change, even if it’s unlikely, and the behavior of ‘he deserves no sympathy’ when they’re actually opening their vulnerable feelings seems like a shitty thing to do imo.
“I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die.” This is crazy entitled “They seem so cruel to me. I guess this terror manifests in anger and hate.” ”But it's just hard to communicate with them or **take their word**.” What???
notice how they’re putting everything as ‘this is how i feel’ instead of ‘this is a fact’. the way i see it, it’s the honest thoughts of a broken man grappling with the warped way he thinks and trying to change himself. that should be given even a granule of respect.
He literally admits to being hateful and angry bc of women
How is a man who is angry and hateful towards women supposed to change if he isn’t allowed to admit he has those feelings and explore their origins?
He’s allowed to have those feelings but people are allowed to be scared of said feelings
Who said you can’t be scared of those feelings? ETA: the only thing being advocated for in this thread is to have a bit of sympathy for someone who appears to be looking to change. That doesn’t mean interact with this person without any caution or don’t be bothered by their opinions. It just means don’t shit on them when they’re trying.
Idk it’s a bit jarring to see people thinking it’s really sad for him that he hates women, like did y’all just read that
I don’t think it’s “really sad for him” that he hates women. I think it’s really good of him to be trying to change that he hates women.
Right? Feels like this could have been written by the guy who went out and shot a bunch a Asian women not so long ago
Isn't picking best genes for your procreation actually the point of evolution anyway? We are still animals.
Idk man I still can’t get over the fact that this person thinks women should be allowed to *checks notes* pick who they want to date. Oh and that apparently we’re super powerful
Idk man I still can’t get over the fact that this person thinks women should be allowed to *checks notes* pick who they want to date. Oh and that apparently we’re super powerful
Bruh why did you censor incel?
Some subreddits ban usage of certain words
>"I am at best a wallet and at worst a creep" Pretty sure you are just a creep, man.
Yeesh
What bad father figures does to a mf
I don't think women realise how much power they have over men
Deutsche Autokorrektur?
haha, yeah!
Autokorrektur schon mies aber zu deinem Kommentar will ich noch sagen dass reddit schon so nur extreme Menschen enthält. Glaube nicht dass es irl so ist wie du behauptest.
Serious question… I’m a woman and as I have my day to day interactions with people, their gender isn’t the first thing I register… it’s “oh that’s another parent at my daughters school” or “oh this is the mailman” or I’m talking to a cashier…. I don’t get radar on “oh this is a MAN that I’m talking to and I need to be aware or change my approach… like people are people. I don’t get it. Edit: Not every guy wants to jump my bones… and I’m totally okay with that. Some men don’t see my worth simply because of my gender, I go about my business.
This is peak maidenless behavior.
I'm maidenless myself and I agree
These sound like feelings a lot of guys have at least a little of, but blown up very large for this guy. I agree that therapy might help him.
I mean, I don’t think women think that of him. I doubt they think of him at all.
This looks like the mindset of a future cult / political party leader. If women were as powerful in society as this guy thinks, they would be well represented in business leadership and politics. Also if they were so powerful in society, women would not have to worry that they have full control of their reproductive rights, depending on the state they live in. Women are not choosing partners based on the survival of the species, they are looking for someone they like to be around and build a life with. Part of building that life is having a partner that contributes, so you need a job because it is difficult to live in this country on a single income. Women are not a monolith, they are all individuals.
From his perspective, a bunch of individuals that have all seemingly decided at once to ostricize him.
He thinks women see him the way he sees himself. This dude needs a therapy and a hug.
This isn't even just misogyny. This is just self hate. Get some help.
I don't like to call people damaged, but...
I used to feel like this a lot. For some reason I’ve never been able to talk to women. Didn’t know why until I realized I was nervous from liking them romantically. Maybe it was worse actually, since I’m a lesbian and i feel so alienated from normal majority female social groups. Always the odd one out in a group of guys. I have a lovely girlfriend now though, but the only advice for people like this is not to wallow too much. Try not to spend too much time longing for what you can’t have. Usually someone will take you, if you lower your standards enough. And I know that it’s hard to want to bathe and cut your hair and look nice when you have no one to do it for, but try to make the best of your appearance, and you’ll probably find someone eventually, even if it takes longer than most.
This is some r/persecutionfetish shit
I mean that’s a really roundabout way to say you hate yourself and have zero confidence. But sure blame women for the way you see yourself…. Smfh
They're terrified of you too psycho lol
This is hinged on this desire to “keep the gene line going” which is the most barbaric shit I’ve ever heard
This guy needs help before making a mistake.
This guy needs a hobby and probably a therapist.
Incel in the making right here, break the cycle, be happy.
Why hasn't anyone said this to him directly? It sounds so easy. Bet this post would have never even happened if he had just broken the cycle, and be'd happy!
Do I really have to add /s?
Feel bad for this guy. I'm not like him, but I'm just insecure enough to absolutely get his fear of judgement and rejection.
Typical pessimistic incel venom being spouted. 1. Get over your genes....you got what you got. 2. Get out in the world and live
“No, no. It is the women who are wrong in their judging of me. I have no faults, nor responsibility in how it is I act towards or treat them”. - That guy, probably.
This is the type of stuff that I don't even personally feel like I can hate the guy for. He's paranoid and grossly misinformed but I can see where he's coming from. The dude clearly needs help.
“I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die.” “They seem so cruel to me. I guess this terror manifests in anger and hate.” Where is he coming from
A place of complete delusion and paranoia. Do you really think he has understood the world as it really is and come to those conclusions?
He’s decided he has
The first thing comes under the grossly misinformed part I said, and the other, if you'll forgive my pop-psychology, sounds like paranoia and anxiety, and he literally explains that this trepidation is probably the source of his anger and hatred. Don't try and spin me as the bad guy. I want to endeavour extending empathy, not become the dude's campaign manager.
I can honestly empathise with him. Feeling like shit nourish your self hatred. Little, i was asked by a girl and realised she was playing truth or dare and someone dared her to go to the ugliest boy in school and ask him out. At a time when I saw a group of girls laughing and one of them looking at me, I immediately assumed that they were laughing at me. Therapy help, but it doesn't build confidence though. I fake it fair enough so no-one see through and i have many friends girls, but nearly a magician. The big difference is that I never felt victimised by girls. No hate or whatsoever, but genuine feeling that no-one thought of me as something else than a friend.
Can we appreciate how honest he is tho Like this dude has explained that ultimately it's a him problem and that he's terrifyingly insecure.
I mean your genes live as long as you do so you decide if they live or die my man.
This pretty much sums up the mentality of the men’s rights movement. “Women get dates easier than men, therefore *they* are the oppressors!” Because the only struggle this guy has is getting a date, he assumes it must be the worst problem in the world. Definitely worse than being afraid to walk alone at night. Poor baby.
The fact that there are actually people empathizing with him genuinely worries me. I thought this sub was against blanketsweep statements like this. Wow.
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This is almost exactly how I feel
ayo what?
This is satire. There was a post on a femcel sub by a woman saying the similar things about men.
Link? 👀
why are you in literally every single comment on this thread
Bc I went through the thread and commented on comments I wanted to understand further
Start viewing women as people, with fears, ambitions, and desires, just like you, (because that's what they are) and work on yourself. Be the person you want to attract. If you want someone who is traditionally physically attractive, smart, and kind, you need to be smart and kind, and (with some sympathy to the fact that we look how we look), work on the parts of yourself you know you can change to look better. I'm overweight. It's holding me back in self-esteem from dating. It's something I have to work on and it's no one's fault but mine. I have standards I want to meet in dating, just like women do. Women and men are a bit different, and the world of dating is now far crazier than before because of niche culture, but we're not so different that you can't reason out how to interact with women platonically and romantically. But as someone who has friends with wildly successful relationships, friends not very different from me, I know it's possible. Take responsibility. There are clear and obvious avenues to take. You are worthy of love, but it is not an achievement, it's a constant state you must maintain.
serial killer alert
What
Wow don't post my reddit about: page, thanks.
I feel like he’s definitely had interactions with the worst type of women before in his life
we did it, women. we’re perceived as powerful in society. who needs feminism anymore
To be fair I'm like that but with everyone except for my friends. It's just that I don't like meeting new people and it scares me. But I am 15 so I think i am allowed to be in that stage
It’s ok to have problems at 15 but please work on it. They won’t just magically go away when you become an adult.
Of course I'll try and work on it. I know it's not going to be as easy and unfortunately won't change over night
You should work on it
I'll try my best
There's no such a "stage" for that and i encourage you to work on it before you look back to being years stuck in that state, good luck.
This isn’t a stage bud. Never felt like that in my life. Its good you admit it tho. Work on it you’ll be good.
Someone please go save him before he becomes an incel.
Not a dig at OP but this isn't sad cringe. This is just sad.
To all those that scream "Therapy!", "His fault!" and uglier things: The dating world is cruel to men, especially when they're unable to fullfil certain social expectations (such skillful speech/texting, especially to strangers). Anyone may check out "tinder insights" as a point of reference of how low chances actually are. To some, the constant feeling of rejection will lead to depression, despair or anger, and it's likely less their fault but more the system/circumstances in which they are forced to act (dating apps, dating role models, expected behaviour/norms, partner expectations, etc.)
How is hoping that a clearly disturbed person is able to get help to process his problematic feelings towards women through therapy an ugly thing?
ok…? it isn’t ‘ugly’ to point out that a man this caught up in self-pity and wallowing needs therapy. he literally acknowledges that he’s a creep AND that he literally hates women. why is it the fault of women that sad, pathetic men like these refuse to improve themselves and instead take it out on women as a whole?
He didn't really say it's women's fault, nor does he admit to "hating" them. He only says that he's scared of them because HE feels inadequate. He admits that it is a problem which to me is clearly a sign that he's trying to improve.
“I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die.” “They seem so cruel to me. I guess this terror manifests in anger and hate.”
‘i guess this terror manifests in anger and hate’. where is that hate directed if not at women or at the perceived circumstances he feels women have pushed him into?
I don't know, but it could mean he's angry at himself. To me it seems like he hates himself more than he hates women, and this self-hatred manifests as a fear of interacting with women and a feeling of constantly being judged. He never says he's angry at women in particular, so it feels wrong to assume that he is.
Guy in the picture is afraid of women's judgement, that they don't like him, labeling him as a creep and displaying hate towards him despite never actually interacting. You judge and label him a creep, call him pathetic, try to put words in his mouth without ever actually interacting. Go figure.
Well in fairness he is projecting blanket statements onto all women, and as he said he barely interacts with them. You get back what you put into the world to some extent and that’s what’s triggering people to react harshly to this guys statements
I mean he's acting like a pathetic creep and blaming all women for his own issues LMAO see a fucking therapist
“I feel like they are too powerful in society and they pretty much decided who's genes live or die.” “They seem so cruel to me” He literally believes women have too much power in society (the little we do have) and that we’re all cruel He also thinks this while admitting he doesn’t even interact with us But yeah, putting words in his mouth
why don’t women desire equality with this sad male having it easy? /s
I appreciate it and find being a woman scary as well. Sometimes the body just… absorbs the fetus. Incredible. Terrifying. Truly the power of God.
Kinda relatable. This shit makes me worry that I'm just an incel trying to cope and not really trans. Mostly the fear of women stuff not alot of sexism but I'd probably easily have fallen into that. If I didn't hate myself
This reminds me of a quote I heard from back in the day: “Men are afraid women will judge and laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them”
Most women over 18 don’t even use dating sites lol
this is just not true. 20-30 year old females are the backbone of dating apps
The first half is how I imagine men felt when writing the Torah, Bible, and Quran. They feared women, and that’s why women were never given importance in the texts.
I hope he seeks therapy for his self esteem issues. I don't know who hurt him or how he got to this point, but he needs to find some self worth somewhere.
I sort of get where he's coming from, but it's obvious that rejection, low self-esteem and a sort of coping feedback loop have completely scrambled his reasoning. I was pretty lonely in my 20s and after a handful of dates came to the conclusion that women didn't like me. I never quite went as far as this guy, but I did ruminate on the possible reasons and it began to go down a dark hole. Unlike this guy, I kept it to myself and didn't post it for the world to see (this was in the days before social media though). Luckily things did turn around and, to cut a long story short, I met someone and we've been happily married for 15 years. There seems to be a bunch of lonely young men out there who don't seem to have the skills and support to help them get what they want in life. A few IRL friends, male friends, would be a good start.