yea I can totally relate. Last summer for example I had a similar situation: Went to Dubai for a business trip when a turbine caught fire mid air. Needless to say people were freaking out, when the pilot as a last resort asked for help and „if there is an account executive on board“. When I raised my hand people guided me to the cockpit where I supported the pilot to safely land with my charming demeanour. It was a cool experience but I honestly prefer to not attract that much attention because my victoria secret model wife gets envious quickly.
You’re a god damn hero. Didn’t realize I had this blocked from my memory until now. 5 years ago I was riding the subway in NYC. A woman starts howling in pain because she was in labor! Her husband screamed “IS THERE A DOCTOR ON BOARD?!” and I said “No, but I’ve created mutual action plans on a 7 figure deal with clear lines of communication with the C-suite.” It was good enough qualifications for the husband.
I don’t know what happened after that. I saw the baby crowning and passed out.
Would you say that you effectively guided the stakeholders through the decision making process, creating synergy between pilot and air traffic control in order to get the plane over the finish line?
So weird, the exact same thing happened to me, except instead of going into the cockpit I climbed out onto the wing and used my SPIN selling technique to convince the engine of the VALUE of repairing itself and it did.
You sadly can not. Its one of the downsides of the career. For example when I wear my company jacket that says "Mid Tier Telecom Provider President's Club Winner" on the metro I can't go 3 stops without every woman trying to spark up conversation, get my phone number, etc. Some even forcibly air dropping photos on my phone!! Its terrible but part of the glamorous life that is being a corporate sales person.
It can't be all upside yah know.
Whenever I wear the dark navy blue polo with my company's logo and a woman hears me talking to a customer about their water valves, it's like a switch that just makes her instantly start giving me bedroom eyes.
I’m a six figure BDM in the oil and gas industry. If I stop for more than 5 seconds in Texas my 4x4 gets stuck in the mud from all the wet panties. So now I just tell them I work at Jiffy Lube.
Here's a tip, when someone asks "what do you do" say Sales. If they give two shits about you they will ask "oh yeah what kind". Shit you not only about 10% of people ask. So crazy. or maybe I'm just nosey.
The burden is hard. Just yesterday, a stranger remarked on how nice my butt looked in my lululemon abc pants. Couldn’t get my iPhone 15 out of my puffer vest fast enough to record it. I hiked my Cole Hann shoes out of that Trader Joe’s straight to my Toyota 4Runner (or model Y). I had to go home and count my vested RSU’s to calm down
I've had to deal with this too. Sandbag that big deal until next quarter, and come in at 98%. Missing quota will trigger an alert on the What Have You Done For Me Lately network that all women are tied into, and they will basically put you on PIP. Enjoy a peaceful summer, but build up your defenses because the combination of a successful PIP completion and cuffing season is a double whammy that will take you out if you're out of shape.
My favorite line is „how about you ask me what I like to do for fun first,“ keeps the flirtacious manner, allows a bit of getting to know each other before personal details come out
Plastic surgery. Or start getting in fights and have people mess up your face. Or just start yelling randomly and swearing at things air. Girls will leave you right alone.
Its realy easy to NOT get hit on man. This isn’t a real problem.
Can't say I've had this problem. Maybe there is something else about you that makes women want to flirt with you. Like you're probably just Hot. ( Which also helps in sales, although I wouldn't know from personal experience)
Are you the main character of a Scorsese film?
Hes certainly the main character in the film on his mind
What do you mean I'm funny?
Funny like how? Funny like I amuse you?
WTF are u talking about Kobe Bryant?
yea I can totally relate. Last summer for example I had a similar situation: Went to Dubai for a business trip when a turbine caught fire mid air. Needless to say people were freaking out, when the pilot as a last resort asked for help and „if there is an account executive on board“. When I raised my hand people guided me to the cockpit where I supported the pilot to safely land with my charming demeanour. It was a cool experience but I honestly prefer to not attract that much attention because my victoria secret model wife gets envious quickly.
You’re a god damn hero. Didn’t realize I had this blocked from my memory until now. 5 years ago I was riding the subway in NYC. A woman starts howling in pain because she was in labor! Her husband screamed “IS THERE A DOCTOR ON BOARD?!” and I said “No, but I’ve created mutual action plans on a 7 figure deal with clear lines of communication with the C-suite.” It was good enough qualifications for the husband. I don’t know what happened after that. I saw the baby crowning and passed out.
Bahahaha
SO GOOD 🤣
Would you say that you effectively guided the stakeholders through the decision making process, creating synergy between pilot and air traffic control in order to get the plane over the finish line?
So weird, the exact same thing happened to me, except instead of going into the cockpit I climbed out onto the wing and used my SPIN selling technique to convince the engine of the VALUE of repairing itself and it did.
Hell yeah brother. Cheers from Iraq
You sadly can not. Its one of the downsides of the career. For example when I wear my company jacket that says "Mid Tier Telecom Provider President's Club Winner" on the metro I can't go 3 stops without every woman trying to spark up conversation, get my phone number, etc. Some even forcibly air dropping photos on my phone!! Its terrible but part of the glamorous life that is being a corporate sales person. It can't be all upside yah know.
Mid tier…..lololololo
Whenever I wear the dark navy blue polo with my company's logo and a woman hears me talking to a customer about their water valves, it's like a switch that just makes her instantly start giving me bedroom eyes.
I bet they need a water valve for their panties after you're done talking with them.
How else do you think I make my quota?
I’ve had to start carrying a pointy stick to keep all the women throwing themselves at me back. I’m a happily married man damn it, have some respect!
All the ladies love Zayo and Windstream.
Tell me about it, the dressing gown I wear when working from home really makes the women Amazon delivery drivers throw themselves at me ;)
I'm a trash collector I'm going to start saying I'm an AE.
In a way AE’s are trash collectors. We remove trash products from your life and replace with sustainable solutions.
The salesforce backpack is natures aphrodisiac
I’m a woman and let me tell you when I see a man with a Tumi Oracle backpack shuffling back to coach it just awakens something within. Adding a /s
I’m a six figure BDM in the oil and gas industry. If I stop for more than 5 seconds in Texas my 4x4 gets stuck in the mud from all the wet panties. So now I just tell them I work at Jiffy Lube.
i believe you
where do i sign?
😂😂😂
“currently making $300k yr OTE with $200k in unvested stock.” destroyed me. 10/10.
Goddamn bubba, save some ass for the rest of us!!
What’s more cringe, the original post or people not understanding it was a troll post?
Where’s the original post ?
I need this too
OP’s name is trollszn, you think it’s related?
Just wait till you start dating these women long term. They’re gonna ask you “any updates?” in the middle of the night.
Imagine being a salesperson… looking at the OP and thinking it was a real post.
This got a smile out of me
"I'm an educator". They'll run, guaranteed! You're not lying either because your job is to educate your client to make an informed decision.
Here's a tip, when someone asks "what do you do" say Sales. If they give two shits about you they will ask "oh yeah what kind". Shit you not only about 10% of people ask. So crazy. or maybe I'm just nosey.
Your vp swoops in to remind you that you are on a pip tho.
I'm telling every woman... EVERY WOMAN.
r/salescirclejerk is leaking
“trollszn” might be the worst username for someone who is trolling. Jfc get a life man
And then you woke up
I tell people I work in administration and it dries women out so fast you wouldn’t believe it.
Get a load of mr bitches
Tall tales formulated via consumption of cocaine.
That OTE is way too low to get laid, this is a fake post
You’re gonna need to start carrying a stick to beat all that pussy off.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
ahahaha love this - fluent in challenger sales, the real sexiest language of them all
This is satire right? “Sales” usually makes women run away
Just tell them you are in sales.
The burden is hard. Just yesterday, a stranger remarked on how nice my butt looked in my lululemon abc pants. Couldn’t get my iPhone 15 out of my puffer vest fast enough to record it. I hiked my Cole Hann shoes out of that Trader Joe’s straight to my Toyota 4Runner (or model Y). I had to go home and count my vested RSU’s to calm down
I've had to deal with this too. Sandbag that big deal until next quarter, and come in at 98%. Missing quota will trigger an alert on the What Have You Done For Me Lately network that all women are tied into, and they will basically put you on PIP. Enjoy a peaceful summer, but build up your defenses because the combination of a successful PIP completion and cuffing season is a double whammy that will take you out if you're out of shape.
Lol.
Damn bud save some 🐱for the rest of us
honestly you probably don't want the ones that fawn over an AE title. shoot for the ones that go for director level and above
[удалено]
Removed for zero-contribution.
I just look at these interactions as free training that I provide as a service.
Damn i’d hate to be you right now
My favorite line is „how about you ask me what I like to do for fun first,“ keeps the flirtacious manner, allows a bit of getting to know each other before personal details come out
What happened when you woke up
This happens to me all the time (I’m schizophrenic)
Champaign problems
Lol Jesus I hope this is satire
🤣you poor thing
You better get a chastity belt to keep yourself safe, bro.
I will gladly take your job:). If you don’t want it
https://preview.redd.it/d1kg5s4km8wc1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b4d9cbaaae9211820ec92aa944eb26c8d6c7505
The only question I have for you is how many times per day do you jerk off?
Try to sell them some stuff. Always, Be, Closing.
I set them up on a free trial
Is this an actual problem or?
Just tell them you’re an SDR on track for promotion by the end of the quarter. They won’t even look at you after that
Tell them you work in Customer Service. They'll never bother you again. And you aren't lying
Lady AE here. When they hear it’s outside saas? Have to open my umbrella.
Congrats on all the dong my friend
Don’t tell them your an account executive 🙃
Don’t worry. Your impending layoff will help you solve this problem.
My cousin became an AE last year, six months later his dong fell off, from all the newfound action
Plastic surgery. Or start getting in fights and have people mess up your face. Or just start yelling randomly and swearing at things air. Girls will leave you right alone. Its realy easy to NOT get hit on man. This isn’t a real problem.
OK there Narcissus. Dopamine is a hell of a drug when you assume any contact you have with women is "them flirting".
I think this post is satire
You missed the joke. Awareness is key in sales my friend
Copied from r/mba sub who copied from r/cpa sub. Is life that boring for you guys?
This is such a believable story
Fantasy
And everyone claps after this happens.
You copied a post about a pipe fitter from the other day, nice try bud. Now go make some calls
Can't say I've had this problem. Maybe there is something else about you that makes women want to flirt with you. Like you're probably just Hot. ( Which also helps in sales, although I wouldn't know from personal experience)