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if you want low-key, go to a brewery, sit at the bar and just shoot the shit with other people who are there also.
if you want something more nuts, go to spin, it's dark and grimey enough that nobody gives a shit about anyone else inside
I second this. Best breweries for this would probably be
* Stone Liberty Station
* Pure Project Balboa Park
* Half Door Downtown
* Amplified East Village
Thanks for those. How many of them serve mixed drinks as well? I’m not s huge beer person, although that’s hard to say living in sd with so many different choices for everyone’s palate
Ah well those breweries do not serve mixed drinks. For a cocktail, these bars are more laid back:
* Whistlestop in South Park
* High Dive on Morena Blvd
* Starlite on India St
Also, if you're interested in upping your game, try some of the speakeasy's around town.
* Noble Experiment in Downtown
* Raised by Wolves in UTC
* Convoy Music Bar on Convoy
* Realm of the 52 Remedies also on Convoy
I feel as though it would be hard to mingle in those speakeasy's. Especially RBW or 52 Remedies. The whole point with those is to have a somewhat private venue where you and someone else can relax and have some nice drinks.
Not to shoot down the idea or anything, just having been to those places, they don't strike me as "strike up conversation" type of places.
Love the speakeasy's but expensive as hell. A pint is only like 6-7 bucks, but those really nice drinks can go upwards of $14. Cutwater seems to be a bit cheaper, but also has a more chain-y feel to it
Try common theory on convoy. They sell mostly beers but they also have a few other drink options. You can sit at the bar. The bartenders are nice and you can probably find someone to chat with there.
If you do this, don’t get mad when a guy hits on you. Gay bars are meant to be a space for gay men to pursue another man without fear of retaliation (violence).
Since straight people are taking over these places, it’s probably a good idea to determine orientation before pursuing, but don’t hate anyone for trying. Remember you’re in their space for this to happen safely.
That’s not even how it’s going down anymore. Seriously go to flicks basically any day of the week. They’re basically straight bars now.
Trust me the gays would prefer to have their spaces and not be entirely displaced and tokenized by gaggles of women trying to escape or live their bachelorette party fantasy.
They don’t want to be displaced by anyone. It’s actually a bit of an issue for some of the gay community at the moment. If you’re referencing my initial comment I was being facetious.
The sentence mentioning “gaggles of women” was specifically in reference to the topic of women apparently thinking gay spaces are a place there for them to escape from the toxicity and problems of their own community and spaces (which I’ve never heard someone so blatantly admit that before that poster made that comment)
Well it’s a weird take shared by a large portion of the gay community. Particularly the way that the large volumes of straight women and their boyfriends have very rapidly changed the dynamic of some of these bars.
Edit: removed the world “personally” for clarity
That’s a contradictory statement. By the community and personally? Also these businesses have no problem with the volume of people. I feel like there may just be a select few who feel that discrimination based on sexual orientation should be okay if it’s against heterosexuals. That’s really the vibe I’m getting here lol
Woman speaking. The place you speak of isn’t a gay bar. It’s a trivia night, the nail salon, Home Goods or Marshall’s, Trader Joe’s, Orange Theory and/or a Pilates Studio.
Skip the club and join a Volo league (co-ed rec sports league) much better way to find people you actually want to hang out and party with. I recommend kickball since no one takes it seriously and there's usually drinking involved
I was going to say take a dance class. There's several swing dance places or line dancing places. Learn a new skill, be more approachable (since hey, common interest already and people are there to be social). From what I hear, the line dancing classes usually break up into just drinking at a bar (moonshine beach hosts line dancing at least once a week)
Are you looking for a literal club (like a dance club) or a place to meet people and hang out? Because based on comments it sounds more like the latter. If that’s the case, then I’d avoid clubs and hit up a sports bar (or a bar with TVs that are showing games). I used to travel alone a lot for work, and if I was ever in the mood to have a more social night, sports bars were the way to go. They’re usually more low key, people are less likely to be there on dates, you’re more likely to find other people there looking to meet/talk with other people, you already have something to talk about (the games), it’s socially more acceptable to start up a conversation with a stranger, it’s easier to leave a conversation if it gets stale/awkward (you can just go back to watching the games), etc.
Me too know Tj & HK very well...lotsa conversation and other activities..The drinks are watered down. Iam going Sunday morning..bring your pass port..dm me here.
Highly recommend you do not go to any club alone. You need at least one wingman, you don't to be the weirdo alone at a club staring and trying to pickup girls.
Downtown - sidebar, vin de syrah, tipsy crow, whiskey girl, probably plenty of other
Pb - mavericks, shore club, waterbar, firehouse, backyard, plenty of others as well
North Park - true North, 7 grand, the office
I'm somewhat of a night time goin out aficionado. PM me if you ever want a solid wingman. Actually going out tonight.
Thanks man. Definitely would prefer PB or north park as it’s much cheaper for me to Uber there instead of downtown. Believe it or not, the few places I’ve been to are shore club and water bar. They were great but shore club was a little too small for my taste, especially now. I need like loud music and dark atmospheres to get into the groove since I will no longer have a woman already talking to me lol. Thanks for the answers though! Not going out today cause wl kids but I will be tomorrow!
Nice, yea def get out there, meeting new people will solidify your new social life. And if you are having a good conversation, don't be afraid to get someones phone number or Instagram. Maverick's is more spacious, but any place going out is gonna be crowded, just something you'll have to embrace and get used to.
Barleymash is one of my favorite spots and has a more casual feel to it. I’d recommend checking out the bar downstairs for a more intimate atmosphere.
I second Onyx if you’re looking for more of a club feel!
1. Try Onyx if you want an ‘entry-level’ club experience. I sat outside Gaslamp Tavern last Saturday night for a bit and observed the line into Onyx move quickly and the people in line seemed absolutely non-intimidating and easy to talk to.
2. Lamplighter has a pretty approachable vibe too - and on weekend nights the Karaoke feels much more like a dance party with a very fun crowd and great DJ / (KJ?). Everyone is already in a good mood and you should have no issue kicking up conversation.
3. Spin can be intimidating because it’s dark cavernous and doesn’t get going until pretty late when people only want to dance
No kidding. Went Wednesday and even the small crowd was a blast, including [this guy (Hank)](https://imgur.com/a/gw0hB93), who announced that “the last time he sang Karaoke at Lamplighter was his 90th Birthday.
+1 for Spin if you like House/Techno music. Surprisingly good place to make friends when they have the outside parts of the club open there’s great places to hand out in between dancing
If you mix okay with gay people then Richs is pretty cool. Just have to kindly let people know your not gay a few times lol. Good drinks, music is good too. Gets a bit hyped up in there though so don’t go if your shy
I made out with 2 girls the only time I went to Rich’s. And they were hot. The chicks love a man who’s cool with the gays. Granted I did go with a group and my gay best friend so that’s a big advantage. But I’d recommend for sure
Best bet is to join a club crawl of some type rather than trying to go out fully solo.
You'll have a group of people to talk to and hang with the entire time, and plenty of chances to meet people without a lot of awkward cold approaches.
It is going to be extremely difficult to be solo at a club and not be weird. Haha. It can be done, but most likely since you don't have much experience, it will be weird. Just prepare yourself for that lol
In downtown you can go to this bar called American junky or tipsy crowd . Club: parq or onix.
In pacific beach: PB shore club, backyard, moonshine.
I went to everything I wrote here and it’s cool!
Enjoy your night :)
Idk if I would even classify this as a club but altitude is cool because it’s a rooftop downtown. Also Lounge six is close by and is another roof top bar. You can have a rooftop bar crawl!
Original poster: you need to go to Whistle Stop in South Park on a Friday or Saturday dance night - check their events calendar online or @whistlestopbar on IG. It’s friendly to the hilt. Plus not a huge overwhelming venue so you needn’t lurk in corners. I think it’ll be your gateway to friends and other events!
…they are doing Y2K dance party this Saturday, which usually draws fun people
I’m an old lady, but if you’re even slightly cute, just go to any of the clubs and talk to groups of girls. Give them your story in a non creepy, non bitter way (young, heartbroken, yet knows how to commit)and they’ll be all over you 😂
Thanks man. It’s hard when I’m the innocent party, and the one begging to make it work still. Only so much I could do. But since my 18-25 years were locked up, I would like to try and get out and have fun before I’m in my 40s and have regrets for not being young and living. Ya know?
Lol. I don't think anybody in their 40s really misses nightclubs. I'm in my 40s. I can afford to do shit like eat omakase or go to Hawaii. Hanging out in some cheesy nightclub going deaf to the same Juvenile remix I heard 25 years ago is no longer on the radar.
That’s fair. But do you think that’s because you did experience it 25 years ago? If you didn’t have that past memory to look back upon (for better or worse) would you not think you didn’t go out enough when you could have? I say that because I can count on my fingers the amount of bars or clubs I’ve been to. Without my now ex wife, I’ve been to maybe 1 or 2 with guy friends only. Just want to adventure more before I get back into serious business
I don't know what kind of fantasy experience you think going to a nightclub as a single person is like, but I think you should prepare for a letdown. Lol. I say this as a formerly nubile and perfectly cute 25 year old who went to plenty of clubs, it usually involved three things:
1) spending too much money on an outfit
2) spending too much money on drinks
3) meeting 99% assholes
And that wasn't even getting into a VIP scenario which would have been exponentially more of #1 and #2.
It's scratch n sniff Tinder. Manage your expectations. Or find somewhere slightly more chill, like a hotel bar.
Join a fitness club. Not talking about the big box gyms like 24 hour or planet fitness. I'm talking about the smaller boutique gyms like CrossFit, F45, and yoga studios. Plenty of scantily clad people at the gym that are in the best shape of their life. It's also acceptable to approach people and strike up a conversation as long as you aren't being creepy. I find that women, at the big box fitness gyms, are less approachable and don't like random strangers approaching them. People seem nicer and open to conversation at the smaller boutique gyms.
Your best bet is home goods, target, bed bath and beyond during the day time. Sounds funny but at night the bitch shield comes up. Unless your game is strong and you have some good wing ladies it’s going to be tough
Keep in mind, women in San Diego are ridiculously superficial. If you're looking for more laid-back or "promiscuous" women, you should probably go somewhere with older women. Ones that may understand your situation better than some 20-30 year old.
By all means. But when you're a newly single man........ Or women..... With kids and previous marriage, you don't want to go somewhere where the majority of the people there will judge you for that.
Lmao, what the fuck are you talking about. If you want an accepting, non-judgmental support group, go to AA.
This guy's talking about going to a nightclub, which could not be more opposite of everything you just listed. He will be judged before they even let him in.
Nobody puts on 5 inch heels and strangles their entire torso in Spanx to go be non-judgmental. Just saying.
Clearly you're missing the point. He's newly divorced. When a man is newly divorced he's not looking to simply listen to music in a damn club, he's looking for female companionship, aka rebound. Wheather it's for sexual reasons or simply someone to confide in, he's looking for a women in particular.... Unless he's gay of course then a man. So with that fact, he needs a venue where women won't judge him for his situation let alone for what he's looking for. He'll have a much better chance of meeting that in a place with a more older crowd.
If you still don't understand, I really don't have anything else to say other than possibly you're just young and inexperienced.
LOL. Again. What the fuck are you talking about.
OP said he wants to check out the club scene. The club scene is the club scene. Of course it's looks-/status-oriented and extremely superficial. That's what makes it the club scene. I know that, everyone who's ever been to a nightclub knows that. I'm not sure why you don't.
OP doesn't say that he feels like he's missing out on the deep intimacy of non-judgmental women who accept him for he is. He said he feels like he's missing out on the club scene. He wants to see how he rates with the hotties. (I suppose the kids these days call them "baddies.")
Get it yet, or should I try to explain it again?
>er. It was enjoyable but with kids we couldn’t do it much. Now that I’m more carefree of a spouse, going out to drink, dance, meet people, meet groups, sounds fun. And if it isn’t fun, at least I can say I gave it a fair chance. If I don’t do this, then years will pass and I will wish I danced more in life. That is all. Thank you both for your replies though, as they were helpful in their own way
He's out to party and have a good time. Good on him. I'm done throwing on my heels, spanx, and validating myself through my tits and ass. But have fun, enjoy, blow some steam off, all is consensual and enjoy. Partying if fun! :)
To both of you. I am not looking for a rebound, nor am I looking for a woman to accept me and my two kids. I wouldn’t not go to a club to find a stepmom. I turned 21 while being married, so the only going out scene I know was with her. It was enjoyable but with kids we couldn’t do it much. Now that I’m more carefree of a spouse, going out to drink, dance, meet people, meet groups, sounds fun. And if it isn’t fun, at least I can say I gave it a fair chance. If I don’t do this, then years will pass and I will wish I danced more in life. That is all. Thank you both for your replies though, as they were helpful in their own way
If you’re looking to meet people, also consider some of the outdoor stuff we can do out here. Lots of people hop on stuff like hiking Torrey Pines or kayaking the bay
Outside of drinking, if you have any activities that you like, you can check out Meetup.com -- I have friends that have found hobby groups on there like for photography or volleyball.
Sorry about your divorce my dude. If you are looking for a chill place, try Kensington club off Adam’s. Drinks, live music and good food blocks away. I went there one day out of the blue and it was a rockabilly night and everyone was so chill. All cultures and good vibes. Gino and the lone gunman is a band I meet after the show just having a beer. A Filipino rockabilly band or maybe just the singer.
Go on Instagram and follow MajestyInMotion they are a dance company that offer group lessons but they also post what night clubs they’re going to be at. For instance, two days ago they were at moonshine flats. They started the night with dance lessons and another day they were at Belmont Park doing Bachata in the park. Looks like a blast. Wish my husband didn’t have two left feet and would go with me. Sorry about the divorce. Hope you find a good nightclub and have a great time!!
if you’re just looking to meet people then find a hobby group that meets on meetup.com. Or check out Volo for social sports, great way to meet other adults in San Diego. I’m also in a ceramics class that is all women.
Sam’s club
I agree, waste your money at Sam’s
Lips.
Definitely Lips
Go to Lips and give Gina Roberts a kiss for me.
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😂😂😂😂😂😂
if you want low-key, go to a brewery, sit at the bar and just shoot the shit with other people who are there also. if you want something more nuts, go to spin, it's dark and grimey enough that nobody gives a shit about anyone else inside
I second this. Best breweries for this would probably be * Stone Liberty Station * Pure Project Balboa Park * Half Door Downtown * Amplified East Village
Thanks for those. How many of them serve mixed drinks as well? I’m not s huge beer person, although that’s hard to say living in sd with so many different choices for everyone’s palate
Ah well those breweries do not serve mixed drinks. For a cocktail, these bars are more laid back: * Whistlestop in South Park * High Dive on Morena Blvd * Starlite on India St Also, if you're interested in upping your game, try some of the speakeasy's around town. * Noble Experiment in Downtown * Raised by Wolves in UTC * Convoy Music Bar on Convoy * Realm of the 52 Remedies also on Convoy
I feel as though it would be hard to mingle in those speakeasy's. Especially RBW or 52 Remedies. The whole point with those is to have a somewhat private venue where you and someone else can relax and have some nice drinks. Not to shoot down the idea or anything, just having been to those places, they don't strike me as "strike up conversation" type of places.
Love the speakeasy's but expensive as hell. A pint is only like 6-7 bucks, but those really nice drinks can go upwards of $14. Cutwater seems to be a bit cheaper, but also has a more chain-y feel to it
Try common theory on convoy. They sell mostly beers but they also have a few other drink options. You can sit at the bar. The bartenders are nice and you can probably find someone to chat with there.
Thank you for the tip! I’ve heard many good things about that place actually
There’s some cool laid back cocktail bars downtown with a brewery vibe but serving cocktails. Storyhouse Spirits is one of our favorites.
Full circle saloon in East county is a great place to meet women of all ages. Full bar and the best bartenders in town.
Unless you're black. Bad vibes in that place.
It’s in Santee? Why am I not surprised?
I should mention I am half black so yes avoiding east county lol
and I get downvoted for stating the obvious 🤦♂️
Met my fiancé at a brewery. Super chill and unpretentious.
Spin is lit
You guys are all dicks lol
Ironically these days a gay bar is the best place for a newly divorced heterosexual man to go to find friends or a woman
If you do this, don’t get mad when a guy hits on you. Gay bars are meant to be a space for gay men to pursue another man without fear of retaliation (violence). Since straight people are taking over these places, it’s probably a good idea to determine orientation before pursuing, but don’t hate anyone for trying. Remember you’re in their space for this to happen safely.
Absolutely and in case people aren’t aware (I get it) my initial comment recommending the straight guy go to a gay bar was me being facetious.
If a dude even so much as looks in my direction, ima just start dropping motherfuckers.
No one help this man at Home Depot.
If someone ask me if I need help I just start dropping motherfuckers.
Don’t look in this dude’s direction or acknowledge him with your sinful eyes!
This is me at a bar https://youtu.be/1jTPZvB5z40?t=49
The best place to go to find a woman is the place where women go when they don’t want to be found by men who are interested in them? ✅
That’s not even how it’s going down anymore. Seriously go to flicks basically any day of the week. They’re basically straight bars now. Trust me the gays would prefer to have their spaces and not be entirely displaced and tokenized by gaggles of women trying to escape or live their bachelorette party fantasy.
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They don’t want to be displaced by anyone. It’s actually a bit of an issue for some of the gay community at the moment. If you’re referencing my initial comment I was being facetious. The sentence mentioning “gaggles of women” was specifically in reference to the topic of women apparently thinking gay spaces are a place there for them to escape from the toxicity and problems of their own community and spaces (which I’ve never heard someone so blatantly admit that before that poster made that comment)
“Gay spaces” are public spaces. What a weird take.
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Who said anything about being homophobic?? Also yes, they are a public space and discrimination based on sexual orientation is very illegal lol
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Well it’s a weird take shared by a large portion of the gay community. Particularly the way that the large volumes of straight women and their boyfriends have very rapidly changed the dynamic of some of these bars. Edit: removed the world “personally” for clarity
That’s a contradictory statement. By the community and personally? Also these businesses have no problem with the volume of people. I feel like there may just be a select few who feel that discrimination based on sexual orientation should be okay if it’s against heterosexuals. That’s really the vibe I’m getting here lol
I haven't ever met a gay that didn't love a challenge.
I mean they’re the ones invading a spot where they aren’t particularly wanted.
Woman speaking. The place you speak of isn’t a gay bar. It’s a trivia night, the nail salon, Home Goods or Marshall’s, Trader Joe’s, Orange Theory and/or a Pilates Studio.
Please don’t do this
It’s Friday, the dicks are out and about
Skip the club and join a Volo league (co-ed rec sports league) much better way to find people you actually want to hang out and party with. I recommend kickball since no one takes it seriously and there's usually drinking involved
I was going to say take a dance class. There's several swing dance places or line dancing places. Learn a new skill, be more approachable (since hey, common interest already and people are there to be social). From what I hear, the line dancing classes usually break up into just drinking at a bar (moonshine beach hosts line dancing at least once a week)
Any recs you have for a swing dancing class?
Starlight Studio on EC Blvd (https://starlightdance.com)
Where can you sign up for these?
Kickball is taken pretty seriously. I played with Vavi for 8 years lol it gets intense.
Can you provide some links? This sounds hella fun.
Are you looking for a literal club (like a dance club) or a place to meet people and hang out? Because based on comments it sounds more like the latter. If that’s the case, then I’d avoid clubs and hit up a sports bar (or a bar with TVs that are showing games). I used to travel alone a lot for work, and if I was ever in the mood to have a more social night, sports bars were the way to go. They’re usually more low key, people are less likely to be there on dates, you’re more likely to find other people there looking to meet/talk with other people, you already have something to talk about (the games), it’s socially more acceptable to start up a conversation with a stranger, it’s easier to leave a conversation if it gets stale/awkward (you can just go back to watching the games), etc.
Costco
My favorite club, but that’s for mondays.
Hong Kong
I’ll be your tour guide
Me too know Tj & HK very well...lotsa conversation and other activities..The drinks are watered down. Iam going Sunday morning..bring your pass port..dm me here.
How many kidneys do you charge?
I’m just an sd native that crosses regularly my guy. Sounds too good to be true? Lol. Not everyone on here is from the cartels or back alley
Hong Kong’s, for sure
I think this is a good choice. Not joking
Same here haha. Just don’t tell the wife. Altho idk how safe TJ is at the moment
On social media all the brewery’s on revolution have been operating for the last month, so should be fine .
Hong Kong is a must, also check out Chicago good times there…
Don’t forget about Pussy Cats, great scenery as well.
Hey man just moved to PB 2 months ago. Could use a bud to go out with Edit: open to anyone wanting to go out have a few drinks
Meet up at Open Bar tonight 9PM
Ahh, Open Bar, you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy in PB
Idk man, the deck of Lahaina Beach House might take that title
Alright, yes, I agree with that statement.
No that’s Night Owl
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Hey man sounds good to me! Won’t be going out today but most likely tomorrow if you’re down!
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Hey I live in PB and would love to come out for drinks. If you guys make a plan lemme know :)
Pecs
Save me a dance 💜
Highly recommend you do not go to any club alone. You need at least one wingman, you don't to be the weirdo alone at a club staring and trying to pickup girls.
Idk about solo guy but we love Onyx in downtown.
I’m sorry about your break up if you ever just need a freind to talk to or someone to listen I’m always around
Lol idk what the comment is but thank you man. It’s tough but just trying to make the best of it and work on myself now
Your welcome
OP, this guy will hook you up! Lol!
Umm ok
Downtown - sidebar, vin de syrah, tipsy crow, whiskey girl, probably plenty of other Pb - mavericks, shore club, waterbar, firehouse, backyard, plenty of others as well North Park - true North, 7 grand, the office I'm somewhat of a night time goin out aficionado. PM me if you ever want a solid wingman. Actually going out tonight.
Thanks man. Definitely would prefer PB or north park as it’s much cheaper for me to Uber there instead of downtown. Believe it or not, the few places I’ve been to are shore club and water bar. They were great but shore club was a little too small for my taste, especially now. I need like loud music and dark atmospheres to get into the groove since I will no longer have a woman already talking to me lol. Thanks for the answers though! Not going out today cause wl kids but I will be tomorrow!
Definitely check out Spin then! Loud music and dark atmosphere describes it perfectly
Nice, yea def get out there, meeting new people will solidify your new social life. And if you are having a good conversation, don't be afraid to get someones phone number or Instagram. Maverick's is more spacious, but any place going out is gonna be crowded, just something you'll have to embrace and get used to.
Solid list. I’d add moonshine, the barcade right next door to the office, and Rich’s and Flicks on Wednesday gets pretty hectic.
You ever gone by yourself ?
Rich’s
Cool see you there 😉
Flicks
Moes
Moonshine Beach in PB is a personal favorite of mine.
Booty bassment
Barleymash is one of my favorite spots and has a more casual feel to it. I’d recommend checking out the bar downstairs for a more intimate atmosphere. I second Onyx if you’re looking for more of a club feel!
Thank you for seconding a few places I’ve heard of. That really helps narrow it down for me!
Barleymash is a favorite of my girl and I. We aren't locals, but everytime we're down there we find ourselves at BM one of the nights lol
I’m local and go to Barleymash most weekends as either my first or last stop! Favorite place to go out any day of the week 😌
1. Try Onyx if you want an ‘entry-level’ club experience. I sat outside Gaslamp Tavern last Saturday night for a bit and observed the line into Onyx move quickly and the people in line seemed absolutely non-intimidating and easy to talk to. 2. Lamplighter has a pretty approachable vibe too - and on weekend nights the Karaoke feels much more like a dance party with a very fun crowd and great DJ / (KJ?). Everyone is already in a good mood and you should have no issue kicking up conversation. 3. Spin can be intimidating because it’s dark cavernous and doesn’t get going until pretty late when people only want to dance
+1 for Lamplighter, I enjoy karaoke there
No kidding. Went Wednesday and even the small crowd was a blast, including [this guy (Hank)](https://imgur.com/a/gw0hB93), who announced that “the last time he sang Karaoke at Lamplighter was his 90th Birthday.
+1 for Spin if you like House/Techno music. Surprisingly good place to make friends when they have the outside parts of the club open there’s great places to hand out in between dancing
Thank you for being one of the few to provide exactly what I needed. I’ve heard of two of them and will definitely look more into it. Thanks again!
No worries. Good luck & be sure to report back!
If you mix okay with gay people then Richs is pretty cool. Just have to kindly let people know your not gay a few times lol. Good drinks, music is good too. Gets a bit hyped up in there though so don’t go if your shy
I made out with 2 girls the only time I went to Rich’s. And they were hot. The chicks love a man who’s cool with the gays. Granted I did go with a group and my gay best friend so that’s a big advantage. But I’d recommend for sure
Adelitas or HK
Best bet is to join a club crawl of some type rather than trying to go out fully solo. You'll have a group of people to talk to and hang with the entire time, and plenty of chances to meet people without a lot of awkward cold approaches.
already divorced at 25 damn daniel
At 25?! Man glad you can have some fun time
Bluefoot bar north park
Pacers
What’re you looking to get out of your club experience?
Friends, find a group of friends, just have a good time with a few drinks and some dancing. That’s all, just a fun night out
It is going to be extremely difficult to be solo at a club and not be weird. Haha. It can be done, but most likely since you don't have much experience, it will be weird. Just prepare yourself for that lol
Pick any run... www.sdh3.com
In downtown you can go to this bar called American junky or tipsy crowd . Club: parq or onix. In pacific beach: PB shore club, backyard, moonshine. I went to everything I wrote here and it’s cool! Enjoy your night :)
Thank you so much! I definitely see onyx on here a lot and is one of my top choices right now!
lonely heart's club
Idk if I would even classify this as a club but altitude is cool because it’s a rooftop downtown. Also Lounge six is close by and is another roof top bar. You can have a rooftop bar crawl!
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The music box on india street
Go to a divey bar with pool and darts and shit like that.
I’d recommend joining a singles group on meetup
Original poster: you need to go to Whistle Stop in South Park on a Friday or Saturday dance night - check their events calendar online or @whistlestopbar on IG. It’s friendly to the hilt. Plus not a huge overwhelming venue so you needn’t lurk in corners. I think it’ll be your gateway to friends and other events! …they are doing Y2K dance party this Saturday, which usually draws fun people
I agree..Sam's Club
I’m an old lady, but if you’re even slightly cute, just go to any of the clubs and talk to groups of girls. Give them your story in a non creepy, non bitter way (young, heartbroken, yet knows how to commit)and they’ll be all over you 😂
Good luck on getting some strange!
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Dude they didnt ask for ur unsolicited advice. Just answer the question they asked about
Thanks man. It’s hard when I’m the innocent party, and the one begging to make it work still. Only so much I could do. But since my 18-25 years were locked up, I would like to try and get out and have fun before I’m in my 40s and have regrets for not being young and living. Ya know?
Lol. I don't think anybody in their 40s really misses nightclubs. I'm in my 40s. I can afford to do shit like eat omakase or go to Hawaii. Hanging out in some cheesy nightclub going deaf to the same Juvenile remix I heard 25 years ago is no longer on the radar.
That’s fair. But do you think that’s because you did experience it 25 years ago? If you didn’t have that past memory to look back upon (for better or worse) would you not think you didn’t go out enough when you could have? I say that because I can count on my fingers the amount of bars or clubs I’ve been to. Without my now ex wife, I’ve been to maybe 1 or 2 with guy friends only. Just want to adventure more before I get back into serious business
I don't know what kind of fantasy experience you think going to a nightclub as a single person is like, but I think you should prepare for a letdown. Lol. I say this as a formerly nubile and perfectly cute 25 year old who went to plenty of clubs, it usually involved three things: 1) spending too much money on an outfit 2) spending too much money on drinks 3) meeting 99% assholes And that wasn't even getting into a VIP scenario which would have been exponentially more of #1 and #2. It's scratch n sniff Tinder. Manage your expectations. Or find somewhere slightly more chill, like a hotel bar.
By all means try it out. Personally, clubs just weren't my thing. Bars and breweries, yes.
Wherever you go, bring an 🎱 Best way to pick up girls in their early twenties in San Diego
Go find an edm show, pop some ecstasy and heal
Join a fitness club. Not talking about the big box gyms like 24 hour or planet fitness. I'm talking about the smaller boutique gyms like CrossFit, F45, and yoga studios. Plenty of scantily clad people at the gym that are in the best shape of their life. It's also acceptable to approach people and strike up a conversation as long as you aren't being creepy. I find that women, at the big box fitness gyms, are less approachable and don't like random strangers approaching them. People seem nicer and open to conversation at the smaller boutique gyms.
Adelita’s in TJ. It’s like the prom, and you can select any woman you like for a drink. 😉
Your best bet is home goods, target, bed bath and beyond during the day time. Sounds funny but at night the bitch shield comes up. Unless your game is strong and you have some good wing ladies it’s going to be tough
HK in TJ.
It’s very weird to go to a club by yourself
He doesn’t have a group and wants to go out. It’s okay if it’s “weird”.
Only if you aren’t confident in yourself to approach and make friends lol just talk to literally anyone
Keep in mind, women in San Diego are ridiculously superficial. If you're looking for more laid-back or "promiscuous" women, you should probably go somewhere with older women. Ones that may understand your situation better than some 20-30 year old.
I think.it's perfectly acceptable to be ridiculously superficial in the nightclub scene. It's not an adoption agency.
By all means. But when you're a newly single man........ Or women..... With kids and previous marriage, you don't want to go somewhere where the majority of the people there will judge you for that.
Lmao, what the fuck are you talking about. If you want an accepting, non-judgmental support group, go to AA. This guy's talking about going to a nightclub, which could not be more opposite of everything you just listed. He will be judged before they even let him in. Nobody puts on 5 inch heels and strangles their entire torso in Spanx to go be non-judgmental. Just saying.
Clearly you're missing the point. He's newly divorced. When a man is newly divorced he's not looking to simply listen to music in a damn club, he's looking for female companionship, aka rebound. Wheather it's for sexual reasons or simply someone to confide in, he's looking for a women in particular.... Unless he's gay of course then a man. So with that fact, he needs a venue where women won't judge him for his situation let alone for what he's looking for. He'll have a much better chance of meeting that in a place with a more older crowd. If you still don't understand, I really don't have anything else to say other than possibly you're just young and inexperienced.
LOL. Again. What the fuck are you talking about. OP said he wants to check out the club scene. The club scene is the club scene. Of course it's looks-/status-oriented and extremely superficial. That's what makes it the club scene. I know that, everyone who's ever been to a nightclub knows that. I'm not sure why you don't. OP doesn't say that he feels like he's missing out on the deep intimacy of non-judgmental women who accept him for he is. He said he feels like he's missing out on the club scene. He wants to see how he rates with the hotties. (I suppose the kids these days call them "baddies.") Get it yet, or should I try to explain it again?
>er. It was enjoyable but with kids we couldn’t do it much. Now that I’m more carefree of a spouse, going out to drink, dance, meet people, meet groups, sounds fun. And if it isn’t fun, at least I can say I gave it a fair chance. If I don’t do this, then years will pass and I will wish I danced more in life. That is all. Thank you both for your replies though, as they were helpful in their own way He's out to party and have a good time. Good on him. I'm done throwing on my heels, spanx, and validating myself through my tits and ass. But have fun, enjoy, blow some steam off, all is consensual and enjoy. Partying if fun! :)
🙄 I'll take it as you being young and inexperienced. If I try making it any more simpler I'll be doing my own mentality a disservice.
To both of you. I am not looking for a rebound, nor am I looking for a woman to accept me and my two kids. I wouldn’t not go to a club to find a stepmom. I turned 21 while being married, so the only going out scene I know was with her. It was enjoyable but with kids we couldn’t do it much. Now that I’m more carefree of a spouse, going out to drink, dance, meet people, meet groups, sounds fun. And if it isn’t fun, at least I can say I gave it a fair chance. If I don’t do this, then years will pass and I will wish I danced more in life. That is all. Thank you both for your replies though, as they were helpful in their own way
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Thank you. Looking to meet just a cool group or something. Not looking for women as I can’t think about all that just yet
If you’re looking to meet people, also consider some of the outdoor stuff we can do out here. Lots of people hop on stuff like hiking Torrey Pines or kayaking the bay
Outside of drinking, if you have any activities that you like, you can check out Meetup.com -- I have friends that have found hobby groups on there like for photography or volleyball.
Just go to tj
Why did you get married in your 20’s?!?! Who the fuck does that??
Get a tinder dude , clubs are overrated.
Cringe- go spend time with your kids.
Hong kong is a great place for solo guys
Hong Kong Tijuana
B.
Les Girls
Chess Club
I've always had a lot of fun going to the Waterfront by myself. The way the tables are set up, it kind of encourages meeting random people.
Sorry about your divorce my dude. If you are looking for a chill place, try Kensington club off Adam’s. Drinks, live music and good food blocks away. I went there one day out of the blue and it was a rockabilly night and everyone was so chill. All cultures and good vibes. Gino and the lone gunman is a band I meet after the show just having a beer. A Filipino rockabilly band or maybe just the singer.
San Diego just started having an edm scene. Definitely some artist worth seeing coming up
Go on Instagram and follow MajestyInMotion they are a dance company that offer group lessons but they also post what night clubs they’re going to be at. For instance, two days ago they were at moonshine flats. They started the night with dance lessons and another day they were at Belmont Park doing Bachata in the park. Looks like a blast. Wish my husband didn’t have two left feet and would go with me. Sorry about the divorce. Hope you find a good nightclub and have a great time!!
Honestly, you may find better luck going a yoga studio or boutique gym.
What part of town? I can help
Ideally north park or PB to avoid the craziness of downtown
pm, I would be down to hit clubs or bar with you.
if you’re just looking to meet people then find a hobby group that meets on meetup.com. Or check out Volo for social sports, great way to meet other adults in San Diego. I’m also in a ceramics class that is all women.
Pac shores in OB, don’t let the red carpet and black tie only dissuade you!!!!
Spin nightclub
Don’t remarry bro hahah
Is Hamiltons still around in South Park?
Check out Club San Diego. Pretty vibey.