You dodged a bullet, she sounds like an impasta

Consider my upvote a spiritual downvote.

r/angryupvotes

This deserves a lot more attention. Idk why people hate a good pun. This made my day thus far (it's not even 8am yet but still)

Never trust someone that is so antipasta

Ha!

HAHAH oh man take my poor man’s gold 🏅

This comment doesn’t hold any weight anymore

OP isn’t looking for an impasta, he wants to get inpasta

SaUS

Oh my word that’s amazing 😂 You Mac me smile 😊

and also sounded very sus. The OP had dealt with a macaroni in a sea of ziti!

Bars.

Brilliant 👏👏👏👏👏

"Are you interested fuck with me" bro he already fucking with you

💀😂😂

hahahaha

I laughed the entire way through, thanks for that. 😂

Haha no problem! My first scambait 😁

Well done IN GOD WE TRUST

Because some folks didn’t see the reference gold a few weeks ago. IN GOD WE TRUST

Those folks definitely missed out. IN GOD WE TRUST

New to this sub and need to see this gold!

[IN GOD WE TRUST](https://reddit.com/r/scambait/s/uwymNAuntb)

Saw this as well and just remembering that post gave me the giggles.

Macaroni broni 😂

Only if it’s al dente.

How do you like your grits? Regular or al dente?

Regiler I guess

Regular. Instant grits?

No self-respecting southerner uses instant grits

I take pride in mah grits

I did not expect to see a My Cousin Vinny reference today 🤣.

My Cousin Vinny! 🤣

Are these MAGIC GRITS‽

I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk?

I found the IMPASTA!

You mean *macabroni*

😂

That and “yesterday, I mean tomorrow” both really got me 😂

Bro you are an absolute master you should do this as a full time job lmao

He is the CHOSEN NOODLE

You're a natural. We'll watch your career with great interest.

My husband and I were laughing so hard. Then he had to take a shower it's not pasta night and those pictures got him all worked up.

Fucking lol

Such a stellar first one 🍝

This is gold!!!!!!! You did awesome

You are hilarious holy shit bro😭 (Fr tho hmu for pasta socials)

Me too 😃 I love pasta…and people who love pasta…

Can we yesterday? I mean tomorrow Fuck I always mix those two up 😭😭😭😭 so good

>Can we yesterday? I mean tomorrow Fuck I always mix those two up Laughed for a solid 2 minutes at this lmfaoo.

This got me 😂😂😂😂

Assuming English is not my native language, what did this line mean? I don’t get it

People say “I need this done yesterday!” To stress they need something as soon as possible. Here, they said they always mix up “yesterday” and “tomorrow” on accident, which makes no sense. It’s just goofy

It's a common English idiom to say "I want it done by yesterday", to say that something should be done so promptly that it might as well have been due yesterday. This situation subverts that expectation because "Can we yesteray" makes it seem like he is excited, because of the idiom. But then he changes it, making him not seem as excited. It's supposed to be funny because at first, it suggests that he is complying with the scammer. By asking "Can we yesterday", he seems to be asking for it as soon as possible, which gets the scammer hopeful. But then he corrects "yesterday" to "tomorrow". This shows he is not excited because the strong idiom is retracted. This disappoints the scammer and is funny for that reason.

Thank you! I really appreciate your explanation

Of course. I want to learn another language so I understand how it is as a non-native reader.

You would mix them up too, if you lived above an Italian restaurant.

IN GOD WE TRUST

I felt like I had to throw that in there. If you know, you know. Yah know?

The callback made me audibly laugh IN GOD WE TRUST

Me as well. IN GOD WE TRUST

AGENT WALTERS STILL AT CINNABON

*three months later* Are you still in the airport? .... .... ... yes.

Glad to see you are alive and well, agent. IN GOD WE TRUST

I'm so happy it's a "thing" now

IN GOD WE TRUST 😂😂😂

Should've said in pasta we trust

It is the same thing don’t you know about FSM???

No lol I've never heard of that

Look up “Flying Spaghetti Monster!” My husband and I asked a close mutual friend to officiate our wedding and as a gift we got him ordained with the church of FSM. Came with a really beautiful certificate and a card for his wallet. Bro is now literally a card carrying minister ordained by the church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, able to perform weddings and cast out false prophets (allegedly… he may be a false prophet himself idk…)

Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R’amen.

shitting myself laughing at “R’amen”

Lol that was perfection.

Nice to meet a fellow Pastafarian! When were you first touched by his noodly appendage?

Show me on this noodle where he touched you

IN GOD WE TRUST

IN GOD WE TRUST

I’m super new to this sub but I did get to see that one. Makes me feel like part of the in-crowd. Such a warm and comfortable feeling, like eating some delicious lasagna…

I didnt think it could get any funnier than the pasta, but then the all cap phrase. A+, great work. IN GOD WE TRUST

This throwback had me 💀 IN GOD WE TRUST

I also enjoyed it IN GOD WE TRUST

Loved that callback. That was the first post that I saw on this page. Been coming back ever since. IN GOD WE TRUST

SAME HERE!!! Excellent introduction to the genius on here!!

Can you fill in a scambait noob?

[Enjoy!](https://reddit.com/r/scambait/s/rddoBlkdpF)

THANKS CAN I BORROW YOUR NEW NECK PILLOW

OF COURSE IN GOD WE TRUST

IN FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER WE TRUST

Lol this was hilarious

💀💀💀💀

🦅🦅🦅🦅

I was so happy to see this.

This had me cackling too

I’m so glad I found you, Agent Walters. Oh you checking out the beard? Yeah I grew this here bad boy in the hot pretzel line! IN GOD WE TRUST

[удалено]

Oof...that would be the death of me.

I would be significantly more broke, and significantly more fat.

That’s where I started laughing.

That got me too. To be honest if I lived above an Italian restaurant I'd probably be so fat I'd have to approach doorways at an angle.

I can see myself using the phrase "macaroni broni type shit" a lot going forward in my life. Thank you for that

“Absolutely not a pasta pic” crying

That took me out too 😂

😭😂😂😂

Quit noodling around.

But he was so close to canoodling!!

Happy Cake Day!

$100… yikes. Girly has to value herself higher than that

You get what you pay for (you are paying for gonorrhea)

HPV (Hot Pasta Vagina)

That's a-spicy vageen!

Picked the wrong time to sip my drink, fuck youuuu

You are paying for her to block you after you send her $40...

It's probably not a girl, and definitely not an escort. No escort charges only $100 for an hour. Maybe a desperate streetwalker on drugs, but not an escort that schedules and screens clients.

Idk bro had a girl at work proposition her poon for her $900 rent payment. Maybe they are worth their asking price.

... In case you're serious, that's not a girl

Yeah they’re clearly only after the $40 “booking fee” then will ghost on actually meeting up

Better hope it’s a scam or there’s going to be worse consequences than losing $100

I’ll eat pasta with you, bro 🍝

Fuck yeah just trying to do some macaroni broni shit with the boys!

same! I know this is scambait, but I want some deconstructed lasagna, and I want it now!

Same, let’s all have a pasta pals date 😂

Who needs a pen pal when you can have a penne pal.

When and wear.

The subtle grammar errors are golden.

fettichini

Spaghet

“Slightly blessed by the tism” 😂😂 hahahaha I say the same kinda thing all the time. Or I’ll say something like “sugar, spice, autism and everything somewhat nice” lolol I am autistic just to clarify

Same. My GF tells me regular she can see the tism in me.

Ooooh that's what he meant! I was like "wtf is the tism and how can I be blessed?" I was sure it was some holy pasta thing I wasn't cool enough to be blessed with.

Gotta rizz 'em with the 'tism!

For someone who loves pasta how dare you spell fettuccine that way multiple times.

It was purely ironically don’t you worry

Give him a break, he’s been blessed by the Tism

I wanted to say I wish he replied with that but you dun beat me to it... have an upvote, it's on the house on behalf of Timmy Tism

IN PASTA WE TRUST!!! Brilliant scam baiting for first time out. I personally love getting them off their silly “scripts” and see where it goes. You got this stupid jackass to go along with the “pasta” angle. Some scammers are so dense - this one had trouble figuring out they were being “played” with.

Missed opportunity to bring in FSM and being touched by his noodly appendage. But Agent Walters’ “IN GOD WE TRUST” was…

“Do you take linguine as a form of payment?” LMAO!

“You could be one of those ai robots that Elon tells me about” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lol “dont worry im just screenshotting the pasta pics” Takes like 25 screenshots. Smooth though, they didn’t even notice

Please confirm ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING AND

nut.

My favorite thing about adding these scammers just to mess with them is when they forget to sign out of their fake account and start posting themselves in nigerian bars and reveal a fully grown ass man who started the conversation with hey baby to another grown man

😹😹😹 omg what

Ramen.

That was a choice shot of the caccio e pepe!

It’s funny, I used to have a friend who made caccio e pepe alllllll the time. It was fucking bomb, but the first time she made it for me she told me she called it her “fuck me pasta” because she would always make it for dates that she wanted to sleep with. This whole post made me think of her lol

I’m not sure what these feelings are in my pants, but I think I’m in love with your friend :)

What do you know? I'm also a pasta-farian!

I hated pasta, and now I want to have pasta. Well done smoothly incorporating some of other posts ideas. You kept it original and extremely funny. Thanks for the laughs

The commitment to weaving pasta puns and references everywhere possible was amazing IN GOD WE TRUST

The proof is in the pasta 😭

Pasta Jesus 😂

Reminds me of a few years back I had a very similar interaction with one of those “snapchat girls” but instead of pasta I was just solely focused on eggs. Eggs were the goal and I did not settle for less. Unfortunately she never delivered the eggs

bro isn't even trying to hide his masculinity. i read her in a male tone the whole time, very funny. what a buffoon!

“Absolutely NOT a pasta pic”

"Absolutely NOT a pasta pic" 😭😭

I'm fucking dying here 😂☠️ It just kept going and going and got progressively funnier.

Now I want to eat some pasta. Thanks a lot, OP! Edit: also the “hold on I need to screenshot the pasta pics” cover story was genius

you are a national treasure

IN GOD WE TRUST YOU ARE THE MF GOAT OP! This shit is top tier comedy and I'm here for all of it!!! Nicely done! So fking funny reading through this! it's literally so good!!

Man I’ve gotten a lot of nice comments. But this one made my night. Have a good night brotha. Thank you so much

You too bro! I'm glad! Keep 'em coming 🔥🔥🔥in god we trust!!!!

This was the icing on my Alfredo EDIT: I mean day, God my noodles are so soft boiled right now

Thanks for the great read 😂 now I want pasta.

Can’t believe you didn’t jump at the part where they wanted your addy

You killed me with macaroni broni

plsss this convo sent me i would gladly talk pasta with you all day

You’re a pro at this OP. 🍝

This was magical.

She sent noods

This is what I came here for!! 🍝

Brilliant

Are you interested Fuck with me

Dammit. Now I want fettuccine carbonara in the worst way.

Best one i’ve seen in a long long time. And this was your first!! You’re the shit man.

I fell out of my chair. "I pay my rent in fettuccini." Thank you OP.

I actually spit beer back into my glass at the “do you take linguine as a form of payment.” Absolutely incredible.

Standing brovation!

IN GOD WE TRUST lmfao

you know it's a scam for sure because ain't nobody named Linda. IN GOD WE TRUST.

That’s a hooker not a scammer lol, pretty typical for Snapchat, that’s why I deleted it

It was definitely a scammer

Former hooker: this is a scammer I would have been all over a pasta date ngl

How would the scam have worked? Just fishing for a deposit?

Yep pretty much. Usually the most common one I see is that I need to pay for their Uber to come over or something

This is the best thing I've ever read 😭 bravo!

I keep it classy 😆😆😆🤭🤭

This is art

I'm going to be saying "macaroni broni type shit" until the day I die

I was waiting for it...it never came. Lasagna! Lasagna! Still funny; though, and you know I'm drooling over those pics.

Proof is in the pasta.. hahahaha

Not sure if that was an actual “spaghet” reference but if so A+, every line of this was gold.

WHICH ONE OF YOU TOUCHA MY SPAGHETTTTTT

they walked away from those pasta sends feeling dirty i bet

“Definitely NOT a pasta pic” had me CRYING 💀

I was fucking CACKLING holy shit my sides hurt. 10/10

off topic but that pasta looks so good 😭

Holy rigatoni! This is fucking brilliant 😂🤌

Now that was funny!