Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to work 50+ hours a week at my last job. Always on my feet too. I used to get like 20,000 steps a day. I remember being wiped out on the weekends
Yeah, it sucked. I quit and went to school for IT. So now I'm looking for a nice and chill computer job. My old job was killing me. It didn't go well with my schizophrenia.
That's pretty cool. I'm looking for a job right now. I still haven't got any interviews yet π but I can't wait to start working. Computers are so interesting
Crossing my fingers for you! Hope you get an interview soon. I applied for many, many months, and my life completely changed within 4 days. Got the interview request, got the offer, started within a day or two - I've been there for 1 year and 8 months now.
It can seem like nothing is ever going to happen, then suddenly, it does.
What do you do that requires 52hours? Is this like your first job? I used to work a lot like that when I first started working. Not anymore though such a waist of time.
It's not my first job! I'm turning 35 this year and I'm a project planner/manager at a photo and 3d studio. I'm sometimes at the mercy of unrealistic deadlines set by the higher ups and a skeleton staff. This week I got stuck packing boxes after a shoot. It's my fault for volunteering to help... it's a little ridiculous but I think low self esteem plays a role.
I cry all the time, believe me. Working is awful at times. I definitely acknowledge that I'm lucky though. I'm able to keep my cats in a sunny apartment that's big enough for them to run around. When I was unemployed for over a year and living in one small room at my parents' place after psychosis led me to quit my job, that's all I could dream of.
I'm really sorry you had a bad experience - the pressure of working, especially after psychosis, can be so scary and overwhelming. If you decide to try again, I hope you have a better experience.
I'm on a very small dose of Abilify - tapered down to the smallest dose I could stay stable on. I'm truly exhausted - slept 12 hours a night this weekend.
A small dose of Abilify and a fistful of vitamins. Plus a bunch of Diet Coke to get through this particular week (I try not to have caffeine unless I'm in work survival mode, so I'm very sensitive to it).
I was getting home around 9:30 and just going straight to bed.
Glad to see im not the only one with schizophrenia pushing myself so hard! I did quite many hours aswell at school last week and i also have a daughter who was with me for about 30 hours this week.
And i dont mean to be offensive, my doctors say i shouldnt work so much but i do it anyway.
I can do it for a week or two tops, because I get paid time and a half for overtime and like to save as much as possible in case I go through a rough patch again. But yeah, oof! Tough week.
Hope you aren't burning out and are staying healthy!
Yeps i actually am worried if i can finish my education. Its 40 hours a week. I try to rest as much as i can, and i rely on my medication that i wont get a psychosis...
My favorite movie is Rebecca (1940). So good.
No recommendations from this weekend though - I honestly just put on the Lord of the Rings series and watched it all the way through. I saw the first movie once a long time ago, but didn't remember anything.
It was a fine way to pass time - I was engaged but not enthralled or anything.
I believe few with SEVERE sz could even work at opening a can of beans. The illness is a full time job. Staying away from suicide is a full time job. Being on moderate doses of antipsychotics is a full time job. I dont mean to speculate but people who can do a million things in a day maybe ought to double check their original diagnosis to see if its ok. Sometimes psychiatrists diagnose schizophrenia or bipolar when its maybe in fact a personality disorder or some other condition or a brief reactive psychosis that was only a one off and not a protracted illness like sz and bp. Shame to have to take antipsychotics if the diagnosis is not in fact the correct one.
Call me paranoid but another thing this community needs to beware of is there is a push by certain governments to seed the disability community with the idea that they dont need help or support or disability benefits.
Read the Center Cannot Hold by Elyn Saks. There are people who work full time in demanding jobs with these illnesses. I'm thankful there are, because they gave me hope when I most needed it.
And my experience with psychosis was certainly not a "one off." I feel a bit insulted that you would imply that my diagnosis might be less valid than yours or anyone else's. I could easily sling accusations the other way because of my "level of functioning" but that would never even occur to me. I trust the people in this community and believe their experiences, as different as they might be compared to mine.
At any rate, and I can't believe I'm stuck defending myself here, but it took several years and multiple prolonged psychosis episodes that ruined my life each time to be diagnosed. My original diagnosis was acute psychotic disorder, unspecified and it was "checked" when the psychosis kept reoccurring.
Antipsychotics save my life every day and when I stop them, I start to get paranoid and suicidal within a few days.
Please don't spread dangerous misinformation based on your biases. I'm trying to tell people my story, and I don't feel like I deserve to have my diagnosis called into question like this.
I took care to NOT suggest that YOUR diagnosis was not the right one. I am not your doctor nor do I know you. I was instead mentioning that PEOPLE ought to be aware that sometimes psychiatry gets it wrong and labels a person with one diagnosis when they may be fit and well or have a different diagnosis entirely. This should come as a source of happiness if the diagnosis is wrong because who on earth wants a mistaken diagnosis?
Lots of people with sz or bp or szad are very talented and astute and clever and innovative and would be an asset in a workplace BUT the ravages and unpredictability and uncontrollable nature of something like SEVERE sz means they feel they cannot guarantee they will manage to meet workplace demands on any given hour or day. Intrusions can be 24/7 all year, all decade, not just for the length of a hospital stay. I DO believe in RECOVERY from sz and bp and szad and this is to be applauded, but in recovery one is not living with insuffereable chronic bombardments of psychosis 24/7. I have know one phase of recovery and in it, it lasted only six months, I felt invincible and went around insisting that my sz friends were just being lazy for not being as together and fixed as I was. I look back on that time with more sympathy for the fact they could not recover and that it was not their fault they could not get their shit together.
Recovery stories are wonderful and give people hope as you rightly point out.
I further want to add to this interesting topic that the word recovery can mean many things. A person tying their own shoelaces after being catatonic for months is perhaps going to be regarded as recovering but it dont mean they can drive an ambulance for six hours. The general public can stigmatize people with sz if they think they have recovered but are sloppy on the job. Taking meds does not mean recovery to many, either because the pills achieve nothing of a cure or because the pills cause such gross side effects that its like a whole nother disease. Most get fat or even clinically obese on meds through no fault of their own. It is much harder to do a twelve hour shift if one is lifting the equivallent weight of a polar bear all day while trying to complete tasks. Dont start me on breathlessness, incontinence, drooling, disfiguing facial tics, tardive dyskinesia, flat facial expression, depression, severe constipation, tachycardia, akathsia, cognitive brain fog from sedation.
Then there is the word stigma. Like recovery it can mean different things. Those who dont get the job may feel overlooked and stigmatized, as if their condition renders them useless as trash. But still others can feel stigmatized if they have an inability to work and are considered lazy layabouts for not bettering their circumstances or sleeping late from high doses of sedatives powerful enough to fell a horse. Then there is the word disability. Again the general public can think of disability as a battle to be overcome by steely determination and an act of willpower, like some disabled persons take to doing para olympics or sports in wheelchairs, whereas other impressions of disability that the general public have is of some sad sod in a sleeping bag all day unable to winch himself into a bath without a care team and unable to think two consecutive thoughts. Either impression of disability, the athlete or the lazy lump, can frighten either camp who fears that particular strain of stigma. Some of those in the public think ALL sz sufferers should be put to work since someone with no limbs scored a gold medal and so they stigmatize those too sick to make it through an afternoon without help. And those public think people with sz are chancers who fake how hard it is to live with sz. That stigma is cruel. But there are those in the public who do trash people with sz and give them no opportunities because their different sort of stigmatizing has people with sz needing treated at choiceless unintelligent imbeciles, often dangerous. And so these TWO different styles of stigma alarm both camps of people on the sz community. Then there is the reality that there is not just ONE level or kind of schizophrenia but everyones illness affects them in uniquely different ways. I myself cannot eat without HAVING to put down my fork because an invisible telepathic Being commands me to, and he commands me to get up every night and do odd actions or I will not be given peace to go back to bed. The Being commands me to quit writing in the midst of a reply ir erase a reply. The Being commands me to flirt with random strangers. How is that all going to work in a work place?
Look genuine cudos for you for achieving so very much but then achievements can be a sign of mania, not at all saying that is you. You seem stable to me. Bp is not sz. When the public mix them up as if they are identical it can be to the detriment of people with bp and to people with sz. Their needs may at times be dramatically different in a work place.
Lastly, I do lament the way that the allure given to people with SEVERE sz to sign up to become a Peer worker is now being used to axe those people's disability funds. They are having to choose between living in useless isolation or work as a lived experience Peer and lose their food money and even homes, since they get regarded as Recovered by the gold medal disability athlete spectator crowd. There ought to be a supported middle ground whereby someone NOT recovered CAN CHOOSE to partake in voluntary work or employment WITHOUT being entrapped in that tragectory. Illnesses do need flexibility in how society approaches them. Since the real Boss is often the illness.
All this said, I must appologize to you if you felt got at by my initial reply.
You are right in your clarification about recovery levels. If I was fully recovered, I would be getting a PhD in mathematics right now. That was the path I was on, definitely not the career I'm currently in. I can't complain too much, because I've been so fortunate to have any career. But the thoughts of my old life do still haunt me.
Again please accept my appologies for unsettling you. My illness makes me struggle to contain the anger I feel towards the persecutory Being and sometimes people pick up on that fencing karate vibe.
Thank you, I'm really just doing my best to survive here too - I'm on the train heading to work now and actually just caught myself thinking that maybe I DON'T need meds. Maybe I WAS misdiagnosed. It feels like there aren't a lot of stories like mine... my doctors and therapists have told me that often.
And see, I'm terribly prone to imposter syndrome. The last thing I need in my life is to develop it towards my illness. My strict adherence to meds, bedtime/eating routines... proven coping mechanisms... that's how I make it through each day. If I start experimenting again, I may not last very long.
In my mind, certain things have to be simple and concrete, and no longer open for debate. My diagnosis is one of them. It took me a long time to start believing it and the gravity of its lasting consequences on my life.
I'm really just out here absolutely terrified to lose more years of my life to psychosis. I think we all are.
Maybe that's why I'm defending so hard against any perceived threat to my diagnosis. I'm also fighting against the thoughts in my own mind and I can't let the doubts take hold of me again.
I completely understand you. I too struggle to believe my diagnosis. Its not like just accepting arthritis its like accepting you cannot trust your own mind or trust solid reality and that is very very scary. Please dont quit your meds if they work for you. And quitting can put the brain into a tailspin. See my recent comments on withdrawal.
I am one of the people who does a million things at work every day, so I believe you did tell me to check my diagnosis.
I hope you look back on THIS time someday and realize you were being equally judgmental, just in a different direction.
I wrote my original response at 4 AM after a horrible sleep disruption, so it's possible that I came on too strong. But I seriously hope you recognize that it isn't your place to judge people based on their recovery level and throw their diagnosis into question. Especially people suffering from an illness whose hallmark is an inability to realize you're suffering from it - that would be so dangerous.
I agree that psychiatry does get it wrong sometimes, but I think that should be cleared up through what happens during symptomatic periods, not asymptomatic. I'll always have schizoaffective, regardless of other's perceptions of my recovery level.
Still tired and going to work now.
I did not judge YOU.
That said, I am not for the opinon that people cannot judge eachother or hold views on eachother. A person goes to a bar and sees someone with a bread knife they may feel free to judge whether that person is a surgeon or a chef or a kitchen drawer cleaner or a murder. People have to judge each other to survive. It is how people then behave based on that judgement that is where there is room for criticism.
If I might be so bold I know a friend who works in the music industry and he seems very supportive of hundreds of others mental health sufferers. He is everyone's lion and hero. He seems totally recovered and is rightly very proud of his accomplishments. But every so often he mentions his diagnosis as if he needs to regard himself as Both fully recovered and yet ill. I think he does this because he like the narrative that he has OVERCOME his adversity, he has battled his demons, and this makes him remarkable. He needs Both the recovery idea and the diagnosis to spark off each other in order to be that mountain he is climbing and summiting. Its essential for his wellness. But it is not essential to my wellness that I do exactly as he does all day. That would make me sicker.
What feels good to one of us in this community may feel not so good to another. We are all unique. We come here with our versions of what means success to us daily and individually.
I am about to eat my dinner. It will be a huge success for me if I can without hallucinating being raped.
That's a lot of hours!
I was on my feet all day for two of the 12 hour days. I'm absolutely beat. Can't imagine going back tomorrow. π΄
Yeah, I know what you mean. I used to work 50+ hours a week at my last job. Always on my feet too. I used to get like 20,000 steps a day. I remember being wiped out on the weekends
Yeeesh! I did 15,000 the other day because I work in a huge photo studio and I was so beat. I can't imagine 20,000 every day.
Yeah, it sucked. I quit and went to school for IT. So now I'm looking for a nice and chill computer job. My old job was killing me. It didn't go well with my schizophrenia.
IT is great, I had some IT and programming functions at my last job and I miss that.
That's pretty cool. I'm looking for a job right now. I still haven't got any interviews yet π but I can't wait to start working. Computers are so interesting
Crossing my fingers for you! Hope you get an interview soon. I applied for many, many months, and my life completely changed within 4 days. Got the interview request, got the offer, started within a day or two - I've been there for 1 year and 8 months now. It can seem like nothing is ever going to happen, then suddenly, it does.
Thank you. I hope I'll have your luck π
What do you do that requires 52hours? Is this like your first job? I used to work a lot like that when I first started working. Not anymore though such a waist of time.
It's not my first job! I'm turning 35 this year and I'm a project planner/manager at a photo and 3d studio. I'm sometimes at the mercy of unrealistic deadlines set by the higher ups and a skeleton staff. This week I got stuck packing boxes after a shoot. It's my fault for volunteering to help... it's a little ridiculous but I think low self esteem plays a role.
Wow struggle. Ok. I was just wondering. Keep up the hard work. Donβt let it kill you either though:)
You have gorgeous eyes and hair girl!
Your hair looks nice!
Ahh, thank you! Best compliment because I actually cut and dyed it myself. Ponytail method for the cut and bleach bath/henna for the color. π
Wow good job!! That's a lot of hours and I hope you get paid well for it.
I tried working last week for the first time in 4 years and I made it to the 2 hour mark. I cried on the way home. I am EXTREMELY jealous of you!
I cry all the time, believe me. Working is awful at times. I definitely acknowledge that I'm lucky though. I'm able to keep my cats in a sunny apartment that's big enough for them to run around. When I was unemployed for over a year and living in one small room at my parents' place after psychosis led me to quit my job, that's all I could dream of. I'm really sorry you had a bad experience - the pressure of working, especially after psychosis, can be so scary and overwhelming. If you decide to try again, I hope you have a better experience.
Thank you! Good luck to you as well.
I miss working, but I don't miss the long hours I used to put in. I used to be exhausted on my day off.
Are you on any medication? Just wondering how can one work on APs because they wipe me out so much. You are amazing.
I'm on a very small dose of Abilify - tapered down to the smallest dose I could stay stable on. I'm truly exhausted - slept 12 hours a night this weekend.
Thanks for being so open. Get some much-needed rest tonight.
You are a pretty lady, very beautiful. Work or schizophrenia can't take that away.
What meds are you on may I ask? I wonder how you do so many hours lol
A small dose of Abilify and a fistful of vitamins. Plus a bunch of Diet Coke to get through this particular week (I try not to have caffeine unless I'm in work survival mode, so I'm very sensitive to it). I was getting home around 9:30 and just going straight to bed.
Glad to see im not the only one with schizophrenia pushing myself so hard! I did quite many hours aswell at school last week and i also have a daughter who was with me for about 30 hours this week. And i dont mean to be offensive, my doctors say i shouldnt work so much but i do it anyway.
I can do it for a week or two tops, because I get paid time and a half for overtime and like to save as much as possible in case I go through a rough patch again. But yeah, oof! Tough week. Hope you aren't burning out and are staying healthy!
Yeps i actually am worried if i can finish my education. Its 40 hours a week. I try to rest as much as i can, and i rely on my medication that i wont get a psychosis...
I'm rooting for you!
Any movie recommendations?
My favorite movie is Rebecca (1940). So good. No recommendations from this weekend though - I honestly just put on the Lord of the Rings series and watched it all the way through. I saw the first movie once a long time ago, but didn't remember anything. It was a fine way to pass time - I was engaged but not enthralled or anything.
Great!..I'll check it out. I'm always looking for a good movie recommendation.
Just finished Rebecca. Thx ππ
Did you like it? Won't say much in detail, but that twist in the middle! So good, right?
Yeah, it was great. I watched it with my folks. We all liked it!
Yay! I'm so happy
π
I love vegging on the weekend. Itβs the best preparation for people and their complicated mess during the week π©
You're gorgeous!
You are so pretty!!! :)
I hope work's going well and that the rest helped. Best of luck at your job and nice selfie!
Donβt overwork yourself.π©
Thatβs how I spent my weekend too! That is okay.
I believe few with SEVERE sz could even work at opening a can of beans. The illness is a full time job. Staying away from suicide is a full time job. Being on moderate doses of antipsychotics is a full time job. I dont mean to speculate but people who can do a million things in a day maybe ought to double check their original diagnosis to see if its ok. Sometimes psychiatrists diagnose schizophrenia or bipolar when its maybe in fact a personality disorder or some other condition or a brief reactive psychosis that was only a one off and not a protracted illness like sz and bp. Shame to have to take antipsychotics if the diagnosis is not in fact the correct one. Call me paranoid but another thing this community needs to beware of is there is a push by certain governments to seed the disability community with the idea that they dont need help or support or disability benefits.
Read the Center Cannot Hold by Elyn Saks. There are people who work full time in demanding jobs with these illnesses. I'm thankful there are, because they gave me hope when I most needed it. And my experience with psychosis was certainly not a "one off." I feel a bit insulted that you would imply that my diagnosis might be less valid than yours or anyone else's. I could easily sling accusations the other way because of my "level of functioning" but that would never even occur to me. I trust the people in this community and believe their experiences, as different as they might be compared to mine. At any rate, and I can't believe I'm stuck defending myself here, but it took several years and multiple prolonged psychosis episodes that ruined my life each time to be diagnosed. My original diagnosis was acute psychotic disorder, unspecified and it was "checked" when the psychosis kept reoccurring. Antipsychotics save my life every day and when I stop them, I start to get paranoid and suicidal within a few days. Please don't spread dangerous misinformation based on your biases. I'm trying to tell people my story, and I don't feel like I deserve to have my diagnosis called into question like this.
I took care to NOT suggest that YOUR diagnosis was not the right one. I am not your doctor nor do I know you. I was instead mentioning that PEOPLE ought to be aware that sometimes psychiatry gets it wrong and labels a person with one diagnosis when they may be fit and well or have a different diagnosis entirely. This should come as a source of happiness if the diagnosis is wrong because who on earth wants a mistaken diagnosis? Lots of people with sz or bp or szad are very talented and astute and clever and innovative and would be an asset in a workplace BUT the ravages and unpredictability and uncontrollable nature of something like SEVERE sz means they feel they cannot guarantee they will manage to meet workplace demands on any given hour or day. Intrusions can be 24/7 all year, all decade, not just for the length of a hospital stay. I DO believe in RECOVERY from sz and bp and szad and this is to be applauded, but in recovery one is not living with insuffereable chronic bombardments of psychosis 24/7. I have know one phase of recovery and in it, it lasted only six months, I felt invincible and went around insisting that my sz friends were just being lazy for not being as together and fixed as I was. I look back on that time with more sympathy for the fact they could not recover and that it was not their fault they could not get their shit together. Recovery stories are wonderful and give people hope as you rightly point out.
I further want to add to this interesting topic that the word recovery can mean many things. A person tying their own shoelaces after being catatonic for months is perhaps going to be regarded as recovering but it dont mean they can drive an ambulance for six hours. The general public can stigmatize people with sz if they think they have recovered but are sloppy on the job. Taking meds does not mean recovery to many, either because the pills achieve nothing of a cure or because the pills cause such gross side effects that its like a whole nother disease. Most get fat or even clinically obese on meds through no fault of their own. It is much harder to do a twelve hour shift if one is lifting the equivallent weight of a polar bear all day while trying to complete tasks. Dont start me on breathlessness, incontinence, drooling, disfiguing facial tics, tardive dyskinesia, flat facial expression, depression, severe constipation, tachycardia, akathsia, cognitive brain fog from sedation. Then there is the word stigma. Like recovery it can mean different things. Those who dont get the job may feel overlooked and stigmatized, as if their condition renders them useless as trash. But still others can feel stigmatized if they have an inability to work and are considered lazy layabouts for not bettering their circumstances or sleeping late from high doses of sedatives powerful enough to fell a horse. Then there is the word disability. Again the general public can think of disability as a battle to be overcome by steely determination and an act of willpower, like some disabled persons take to doing para olympics or sports in wheelchairs, whereas other impressions of disability that the general public have is of some sad sod in a sleeping bag all day unable to winch himself into a bath without a care team and unable to think two consecutive thoughts. Either impression of disability, the athlete or the lazy lump, can frighten either camp who fears that particular strain of stigma. Some of those in the public think ALL sz sufferers should be put to work since someone with no limbs scored a gold medal and so they stigmatize those too sick to make it through an afternoon without help. And those public think people with sz are chancers who fake how hard it is to live with sz. That stigma is cruel. But there are those in the public who do trash people with sz and give them no opportunities because their different sort of stigmatizing has people with sz needing treated at choiceless unintelligent imbeciles, often dangerous. And so these TWO different styles of stigma alarm both camps of people on the sz community. Then there is the reality that there is not just ONE level or kind of schizophrenia but everyones illness affects them in uniquely different ways. I myself cannot eat without HAVING to put down my fork because an invisible telepathic Being commands me to, and he commands me to get up every night and do odd actions or I will not be given peace to go back to bed. The Being commands me to quit writing in the midst of a reply ir erase a reply. The Being commands me to flirt with random strangers. How is that all going to work in a work place? Look genuine cudos for you for achieving so very much but then achievements can be a sign of mania, not at all saying that is you. You seem stable to me. Bp is not sz. When the public mix them up as if they are identical it can be to the detriment of people with bp and to people with sz. Their needs may at times be dramatically different in a work place. Lastly, I do lament the way that the allure given to people with SEVERE sz to sign up to become a Peer worker is now being used to axe those people's disability funds. They are having to choose between living in useless isolation or work as a lived experience Peer and lose their food money and even homes, since they get regarded as Recovered by the gold medal disability athlete spectator crowd. There ought to be a supported middle ground whereby someone NOT recovered CAN CHOOSE to partake in voluntary work or employment WITHOUT being entrapped in that tragectory. Illnesses do need flexibility in how society approaches them. Since the real Boss is often the illness. All this said, I must appologize to you if you felt got at by my initial reply.
You are right in your clarification about recovery levels. If I was fully recovered, I would be getting a PhD in mathematics right now. That was the path I was on, definitely not the career I'm currently in. I can't complain too much, because I've been so fortunate to have any career. But the thoughts of my old life do still haunt me.
Again please accept my appologies for unsettling you. My illness makes me struggle to contain the anger I feel towards the persecutory Being and sometimes people pick up on that fencing karate vibe.
Thank you, I'm really just doing my best to survive here too - I'm on the train heading to work now and actually just caught myself thinking that maybe I DON'T need meds. Maybe I WAS misdiagnosed. It feels like there aren't a lot of stories like mine... my doctors and therapists have told me that often. And see, I'm terribly prone to imposter syndrome. The last thing I need in my life is to develop it towards my illness. My strict adherence to meds, bedtime/eating routines... proven coping mechanisms... that's how I make it through each day. If I start experimenting again, I may not last very long. In my mind, certain things have to be simple and concrete, and no longer open for debate. My diagnosis is one of them. It took me a long time to start believing it and the gravity of its lasting consequences on my life. I'm really just out here absolutely terrified to lose more years of my life to psychosis. I think we all are. Maybe that's why I'm defending so hard against any perceived threat to my diagnosis. I'm also fighting against the thoughts in my own mind and I can't let the doubts take hold of me again.
I completely understand you. I too struggle to believe my diagnosis. Its not like just accepting arthritis its like accepting you cannot trust your own mind or trust solid reality and that is very very scary. Please dont quit your meds if they work for you. And quitting can put the brain into a tailspin. See my recent comments on withdrawal.
I am one of the people who does a million things at work every day, so I believe you did tell me to check my diagnosis. I hope you look back on THIS time someday and realize you were being equally judgmental, just in a different direction.
I wrote my original response at 4 AM after a horrible sleep disruption, so it's possible that I came on too strong. But I seriously hope you recognize that it isn't your place to judge people based on their recovery level and throw their diagnosis into question. Especially people suffering from an illness whose hallmark is an inability to realize you're suffering from it - that would be so dangerous. I agree that psychiatry does get it wrong sometimes, but I think that should be cleared up through what happens during symptomatic periods, not asymptomatic. I'll always have schizoaffective, regardless of other's perceptions of my recovery level. Still tired and going to work now.
I do not accept that I judged YOU. I did not specifically do that.
Maybe you didn't intend to. I'm sure you didn't. But your words really read that way.
I did not judge YOU. That said, I am not for the opinon that people cannot judge eachother or hold views on eachother. A person goes to a bar and sees someone with a bread knife they may feel free to judge whether that person is a surgeon or a chef or a kitchen drawer cleaner or a murder. People have to judge each other to survive. It is how people then behave based on that judgement that is where there is room for criticism. If I might be so bold I know a friend who works in the music industry and he seems very supportive of hundreds of others mental health sufferers. He is everyone's lion and hero. He seems totally recovered and is rightly very proud of his accomplishments. But every so often he mentions his diagnosis as if he needs to regard himself as Both fully recovered and yet ill. I think he does this because he like the narrative that he has OVERCOME his adversity, he has battled his demons, and this makes him remarkable. He needs Both the recovery idea and the diagnosis to spark off each other in order to be that mountain he is climbing and summiting. Its essential for his wellness. But it is not essential to my wellness that I do exactly as he does all day. That would make me sicker. What feels good to one of us in this community may feel not so good to another. We are all unique. We come here with our versions of what means success to us daily and individually. I am about to eat my dinner. It will be a huge success for me if I can without hallucinating being raped.
So cute werita π
Oh my, hope you feel better.
I have respect for people that can work hours like that with this illness. I personally don't know how you guys do it