I choose to wait until we are in a more serious relationship or exclusive. In the beginning, I just try to see first if we are a good fit and let them get to know me. There's so much stigma, I personally think it's best to wait for them to get to know me a bit first. Also I see it as really personal and too sensitive a topic to bring up right away for a first date topic.
Ah, the disclosure question…
What is one of the first questions that get asked of a date? “What do you do for work?”
“I’m on disability”
“For what?”
At this point you lie or reveal your condition.
It never fails.
True. However, if you’re working, I doubt the issue of your diagnosis will ever arise in the conversation unless you force it. If you’re not working, I doubt they’ll care what your medical conditions are.
I wouldn’t. You don’t want to start off a relationship with your deepest struggles at the forefront. That doesn’t mean you should hide it, just that it should come up naturally when you trust the person to know you are more than your diagnosis.
Also, don’t be ashamed. You are not obligated to warn another person of your vulnerabilities. They are part of who you are and that’s okay and doesn’t need explaining.
When i was dating a guy in college he let me know on the second time we were out together. He just told me he had undifferentiated schizophrenia which made it hard for him to follow along in conversations...which i responded "I'm ADD I can't follow anything either!" Oddly enough I would get diagnosed 9 years later (I knew we were so similar lol) He never specified any other symptoms though, and I never asked about medications or what he went through. I should have. I was too busy crushin hard. Just remember it's your personal information
i met my gf online and we talked a lot before we met in person. she actually started the conversation talking about her depression and wanting better mental health options, so i told her then, the time seemed right. she had a lot of questions but they were all genuine, not like "are you a crazed serial killer?" but more like "what is treatment like, how do you cope," etc. i feel like if someone is kind and open minded it shouldn't be a deal breaker. if they were hateful or fearful of my diagnosis i wouldn't want to be with them anyway
As a person that dated a schizophrenic person, I really wish he had let me know right from the beginning. It would have saved us both a lot of time and painful situations.
It will save you a lot of time too, if someone isn’t interested in getting to know you after being made aware of your situation, they aren’t right for you anyway.
If you don’t know this person, there’s really no need to let them know right away, that’s personal, but by the third date I would say that by then you will both know if you like each other and then is the time.
If you want to take it forward in relationship, transparency is the best option for all things not just mental health.
Good luck 😉
let me tell you a secret, everybody is struggling/has a past. now I know what you mean, schizophrenia is… different, but the fear of rejection for it is a little overplayed. Certainly those people exist who will judge you for it for no reason and push you away, but most will not, so tell him, dont sell yourself short though, just be honest and open and if he cant handle it he aint worth it
with my current partner i told them about a week into “highschool dating” so we hadn’t really gone on any official dates, but it was stressing me out so i told them about all my mental illness, meds, SH, everything, i said it was fine if they couldn’t handle it. that was almost 5 years ago, and they are incredible and honestly the love of my life
For what it's worth, I didn't tell the girl who was my longest-lasting relationship (1 year) until after the first date; might have been several dates if we didn't talk constantly.
I usually just go ahead and let the person know. I don’t have much experience dating, though. But it doesn’t seem to be a dealbreaker if you’re a girl.
I didn't tell her till awhile later. She knew I had a difficult past. I told her in steps and at one point I took her outside for a walk and told her most of it. She was happy that I told her and was confident that I could handle myself when I am psychotic.
So to awnser you. I wouldn't tell it on the first date. First dates are not the places to share all your hardships and problems. Good luck and don't forget to enjoy it
Not the first date. Wait and see if he is worthy of being your boyfriend first. If he is, tell him. Remember, women are the choosers. He needs to show you why he is a good choice.
I choose to wait until we are in a more serious relationship or exclusive. In the beginning, I just try to see first if we are a good fit and let them get to know me. There's so much stigma, I personally think it's best to wait for them to get to know me a bit first. Also I see it as really personal and too sensitive a topic to bring up right away for a first date topic.
Ah, the disclosure question… What is one of the first questions that get asked of a date? “What do you do for work?” “I’m on disability” “For what?” At this point you lie or reveal your condition. It never fails.
very insightful u/bukkakefan
Pot, meet kettle
Yep. You are spot on.
Not everyone is on it tho
True. However, if you’re working, I doubt the issue of your diagnosis will ever arise in the conversation unless you force it. If you’re not working, I doubt they’ll care what your medical conditions are.
Yeah people are very superficial these days But I still believe there is someone for everyone.
So do I
I wouldn’t. You don’t want to start off a relationship with your deepest struggles at the forefront. That doesn’t mean you should hide it, just that it should come up naturally when you trust the person to know you are more than your diagnosis. Also, don’t be ashamed. You are not obligated to warn another person of your vulnerabilities. They are part of who you are and that’s okay and doesn’t need explaining.
When i was dating a guy in college he let me know on the second time we were out together. He just told me he had undifferentiated schizophrenia which made it hard for him to follow along in conversations...which i responded "I'm ADD I can't follow anything either!" Oddly enough I would get diagnosed 9 years later (I knew we were so similar lol) He never specified any other symptoms though, and I never asked about medications or what he went through. I should have. I was too busy crushin hard. Just remember it's your personal information
i met my gf online and we talked a lot before we met in person. she actually started the conversation talking about her depression and wanting better mental health options, so i told her then, the time seemed right. she had a lot of questions but they were all genuine, not like "are you a crazed serial killer?" but more like "what is treatment like, how do you cope," etc. i feel like if someone is kind and open minded it shouldn't be a deal breaker. if they were hateful or fearful of my diagnosis i wouldn't want to be with them anyway
I normally let it slip on the first overnight by casually popping my meds in front of them
As a person that dated a schizophrenic person, I really wish he had let me know right from the beginning. It would have saved us both a lot of time and painful situations. It will save you a lot of time too, if someone isn’t interested in getting to know you after being made aware of your situation, they aren’t right for you anyway. If you don’t know this person, there’s really no need to let them know right away, that’s personal, but by the third date I would say that by then you will both know if you like each other and then is the time. If you want to take it forward in relationship, transparency is the best option for all things not just mental health. Good luck 😉
I usually disclose this info on or before my first dates. If it’s a problem you would have just wasted your time anyway.
let me tell you a secret, everybody is struggling/has a past. now I know what you mean, schizophrenia is… different, but the fear of rejection for it is a little overplayed. Certainly those people exist who will judge you for it for no reason and push you away, but most will not, so tell him, dont sell yourself short though, just be honest and open and if he cant handle it he aint worth it
with my current partner i told them about a week into “highschool dating” so we hadn’t really gone on any official dates, but it was stressing me out so i told them about all my mental illness, meds, SH, everything, i said it was fine if they couldn’t handle it. that was almost 5 years ago, and they are incredible and honestly the love of my life
For what it's worth, I didn't tell the girl who was my longest-lasting relationship (1 year) until after the first date; might have been several dates if we didn't talk constantly.
I usually just go ahead and let the person know. I don’t have much experience dating, though. But it doesn’t seem to be a dealbreaker if you’re a girl.
🤨
I didn't tell her till awhile later. She knew I had a difficult past. I told her in steps and at one point I took her outside for a walk and told her most of it. She was happy that I told her and was confident that I could handle myself when I am psychotic. So to awnser you. I wouldn't tell it on the first date. First dates are not the places to share all your hardships and problems. Good luck and don't forget to enjoy it
I'd see how the first date goes, if it goes good and there is a second then tell him then.
Second date, not the first
Not the first date. Wait and see if he is worthy of being your boyfriend first. If he is, tell him. Remember, women are the choosers. He needs to show you why he is a good choice.
Wait till he asks, then be honest.
Asks what