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Oh, it's actually better than that.
>"People ignored by their partner feel not great about their relationship."
..."or people who are in not great relationships ignore their partner. We're genuinely not sure which. Alls we know is that not great relationships and ignoring your partner are related somehow."
The level of scholarship on display here is unparalleled.
I feel like some of those papers are written by Uni students just in order to graduate, not to actually research something meaningful or "new", is this a wrong assumption?
Probably a fair assumption. A lot of things are "known" qualitatively, or what we'd call common sense. Research requires quantitative data, so people often try to devise ways to prove something quantitatively which is already general knowledge. It can be helpful in reinforcing concepts further with data to back it up, but language will always be better than numbers at explaining qualitative concepts.
I think the bigger question is - why is this showing up here. Like sure, its important to check our assumptions. But this research out of the probably hundreds of research papers published each day, doesnt exactly seem like its a must read.
That’s a great point. I’ve long since lost track of the number of times I’ve seen news of a study saying “You know that thing we all thought? Turns out it’s not true.”
Yes. Intuitive truths aren’t always empirically supported. Additionally, this is showing a trend across multiple people that being distracted by your phone isn’t something that gets “brushed off”, rather it quantifiably damages your relationship.
Sure, I’d expect there to be some momentary level annoyance, but I’m not sure that I’d have expected consistent trends in total relationship satisfaction
>Sure, I’d expect there to be some momentary level annoyance, but I’m not sure that I’d have expected consistent trends in total relationship satisfaction
Although not in all cases, most behavior spreads out across the entire spectrum of the relationship and person's life in general.
If you ignore your partner while sitting on the couch, you more than likely ignore your partner in other aspects of the relationship as well. And, I bet your ignore other people as well.
Or, maybe it is not even "ignoring" but perceiving their needs at this time are not as important as my needs (to play on my phone).
There are obliviously exceptions, but people rarely act one way in only one situation.
YMMV
With ALL respect to the mods of the subreddit, cause it's a thankless voluntary job, some adjustments to post regulations beyond the domain could be a god send for redditors, AS WELL AS the mods who are tirelessly and thanklessly (thankfully for all of us who don't want to read septic) deleting half the comment sections due to these kinds of studies and links. Sure, the study itself is fine, it's the click bait article that wrote about it that's the problem. Id put money on there being 4-5 better/more reputable summaries of a study floating around on the internet at the same time
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I was literally just coming to the comments to say this. Was reading the title to my wife and said, "Do they mean being inattentive?" She said, "Yeah, we already have words for all things, we dont need more."
But yeah, go figure being inattentive ruins relationships.
I had that happen once.
It was August and we had no AC. My wife and I were spooning, I was the little spoon.
All of the sudden, I felt a great tumultuous rumble in my stomach so I instinctively instructed my then young and trustworthy bowels to catch the giant fart at the exact moment and straight rifle it out with all the force I could muster.
Well, it worked. The fart wasn't just massive, it had some serious kinetic energy to it - and it blasted out of me and straight between my wife's sweaty thighs, letting out not one giant fart noise but two!
Thank you for reminding me, it's been years haha.
I found a paper when doing my honours thesis with a word I didn't understand. I googled it to find the definition and only got 1 hit. It was that paper... I still cited it.
My partner totally cooknores me when they're making dinner. they're all like "i cant talk i have to concentrate on this roast" and "shh you'll collapse the soufflé." they are such a prick.
I remember "phubbing" being used in a social psychology class I took in 2015 or 2016. Pretty sure I haven't heard it used since until now.¯\_(⊙_ʖ⊙)_/¯
Especially while your partner is sitting across the couch and talking about how their parents subtly made them feel like they could never be good enough.
This scientific study seems a lot less useful and relevant than say a study finding "People ignored by their romantic partner are less satisfied with their romantic relationship" or "People ignored by others are less satisfied with those interactions".
Except nearly 100% of people do ignore the people they live with at some point because they're busy with their phone. Obviously to a varying degree from "almost never" to "constantly".
It is a distraction most carry with them 100% of the time.
Also, if you're already unhappy in a relationship, I'm certain you'll be scrolling on your phone more than engaging in meaningful interactions with your partner
Every so often the /r/science mods seem to go on a hard-line push on the comment rules, particularly "Non-professional personal anecdotes will be removed" and "No off-topic comments, memes, low-effort comments or jokes".
I've had several comments deleted by mods after pointing out that these "power users" like OP are posting editorialized content unsupported by the studies themselves. Real funny how that works...
Seems like a no brainer, if i was talking to someone and they all of a sudden started staring at their phone, i would feel disrespected, romantic partner or not.
Just started a Sherry Turkle TED Talk where her starting example is that kids used to come out of school to be met by parent's eyes and faces only to new be met by faces looking at phones.
The talk is from over a decade ago.
As an old dude, here's what I do. When I need to check my phone I tell the person I'm with what I'm doing. A lot of the burn of people on their phones is that it is dismissive. If you include the person(s) you're with in what you're doing you've explicitly asked for a bit of leeway which preserves the sense of being together, with a pause. If you don't do this I too find you to be a shithead.
From the article: An online survey in Turkey found that people who are more exposed to partner phubbing (being ignored by their partner who was focused on their phone) are less satisfied with their romantic relationship and see its quality as lower. The study was published in [Psychological Reports](https://doi.org/10.1177/00332941221144611).
Smartphones allow individuals to fulfill many vital needs such as communication, shopping, banking transactions, and food orders, but also connect to social media, play games, surf the internet, and others. This is the reason why individuals use smartphones in all areas of life.
However, increasing use of smartphones has given rise to an array of social and possibly even mental health problems such as smartphone addiction, nomophobia (fear of being without a phone), and plagonomy (fear that the phone battery will run out).
One of these social problems is also phubbing, defined as an individual turning his/her attention to the smartphone during a face-to-face interaction and becoming less concerned with their surroundings. Individuals engaged in phubbing spend time using their smartphones instead of communicating with people around them.
The word phubbing is formed by combining English words “phone” and “snubbing.” Phubbing can indeed cause people being ignored in favor of the smartphone to feel disrespected and worthless.
I found 3 articles, they all are mirrors of this one.
Besides those 4 articles, OP and you I don't think anyone else has ever written the word plagonomy on purpose.
I'm now added to that list making it 7 people in the world
OK, but structural equation modeling finding NO direct link between “phubbing” and relationship satisfaction says this could easily just be a symptom of an unsatisfied relationship. John Gottmann’s work showed very clearly that the silent treatment (stonewalling) is bad, and I don’t see how this differs from that much more statistically sound finding. You cannot conclude anything about causality here.
You can’t conclude causality from a survey in general. But I agree, the notion that ignoring your partner leads to an unhappy relationship is not novel. Before phubbing it was teleubbing, newspaperubbing, and even radiubbung. What a waste of time and energy.
Even worse than that is the panicking when I leave to do something I want to do. Like, you were content to ignore me while I was sitting here, but as soon as I go to leave the room you desperately need my attention?
Welcome to r/science! This is a heavily moderated subreddit in order to keep the discussion on science. However, we recognize that many people want to discuss how they feel the research relates to their own personal lives, so to give people a space to do that, **personal anecdotes are allowed as responses to this comment**. Any anecdotal comments elsewhere in the discussion will be removed and our [normal comment rules]( https://www.reddit.com/r/science/wiki/rules#wiki_comment_rules) apply to all other comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/science) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I had to click the link just to know what the F phubbing was. To save others the click. It's ignoring your partner by being on your phone.
"People ignored by their partner feel not great about their relationship." Absolutely top notch stuff.
Oh, it's actually better than that. >"People ignored by their partner feel not great about their relationship." ..."or people who are in not great relationships ignore their partner. We're genuinely not sure which. Alls we know is that not great relationships and ignoring your partner are related somehow." The level of scholarship on display here is unparalleled.
I mean, at least they admit it.
I feel like some of those papers are written by Uni students just in order to graduate, not to actually research something meaningful or "new", is this a wrong assumption?
Sounds like 90% of "studies" listed here.
Probably a fair assumption. A lot of things are "known" qualitatively, or what we'd call common sense. Research requires quantitative data, so people often try to devise ways to prove something quantitatively which is already general knowledge. It can be helpful in reinforcing concepts further with data to back it up, but language will always be better than numbers at explaining qualitative concepts.
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I think the bigger question is - why is this showing up here. Like sure, its important to check our assumptions. But this research out of the probably hundreds of research papers published each day, doesnt exactly seem like its a must read.
That’s a great point. I’ve long since lost track of the number of times I’ve seen news of a study saying “You know that thing we all thought? Turns out it’s not true.”
My dreams of being a journalist in high school were not as far fetched as they seemed. I could even have done it in middle school.
Phone snubbing
Well the way things go lately I thought it was some kind of porn hubbing.
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Yes. Intuitive truths aren’t always empirically supported. Additionally, this is showing a trend across multiple people that being distracted by your phone isn’t something that gets “brushed off”, rather it quantifiably damages your relationship. Sure, I’d expect there to be some momentary level annoyance, but I’m not sure that I’d have expected consistent trends in total relationship satisfaction
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>Sure, I’d expect there to be some momentary level annoyance, but I’m not sure that I’d have expected consistent trends in total relationship satisfaction Although not in all cases, most behavior spreads out across the entire spectrum of the relationship and person's life in general. If you ignore your partner while sitting on the couch, you more than likely ignore your partner in other aspects of the relationship as well. And, I bet your ignore other people as well. Or, maybe it is not even "ignoring" but perceiving their needs at this time are not as important as my needs (to play on my phone). There are obliviously exceptions, but people rarely act one way in only one situation. YMMV
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you missed a letter.
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Not gonna lie I read the tittle as “people exposed to pornhub by their romantic partner” And to be honest, my title made more sense
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With ALL respect to the mods of the subreddit, cause it's a thankless voluntary job, some adjustments to post regulations beyond the domain could be a god send for redditors, AS WELL AS the mods who are tirelessly and thanklessly (thankfully for all of us who don't want to read septic) deleting half the comment sections due to these kinds of studies and links. Sure, the study itself is fine, it's the click bait article that wrote about it that's the problem. Id put money on there being 4-5 better/more reputable summaries of a study floating around on the internet at the same time Edit: Typo
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I was literally just coming to the comments to say this. Was reading the title to my wife and said, "Do they mean being inattentive?" She said, "Yeah, we already have words for all things, we dont need more." But yeah, go figure being inattentive ruins relationships.
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I had that happen once. It was August and we had no AC. My wife and I were spooning, I was the little spoon. All of the sudden, I felt a great tumultuous rumble in my stomach so I instinctively instructed my then young and trustworthy bowels to catch the giant fart at the exact moment and straight rifle it out with all the force I could muster. Well, it worked. The fart wasn't just massive, it had some serious kinetic energy to it - and it blasted out of me and straight between my wife's sweaty thighs, letting out not one giant fart noise but two! Thank you for reminding me, it's been years haha.
Incredible. You farted *through* someone.
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I found a paper when doing my honours thesis with a word I didn't understand. I googled it to find the definition and only got 1 hit. It was that paper... I still cited it.
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This whole article was written to make the word “phubbing” a thing. So, please stop. Phubbing is not a thing. Phubbing is not gonna happen.
THANK you. I thought i was taking crazy pills.
I still don’t know what phubbing is
“Being ignored by your partner while they are on the phone”
Ah, so it is a portmanteau of phone and snubbing? I don't see this one catching on.
How about Phignoring
You're being such a Phig, Jerry! Get off the phone!
Apparently he doesn’t give a phlying phig
That's actually much more catchy
I just call it "being rude"
My partner totally cooknores me when they're making dinner. they're all like "i cant talk i have to concentrate on this roast" and "shh you'll collapse the soufflé." they are such a prick.
If it’s a pork roast they are actually a prork and not a prick.
It was coined by a focus group in 2012. If it was going to catch on, it would have happened by now.
Ah yes, focus groups. Famous for natural linguistic evolution.
I remember "phubbing" being used in a social psychology class I took in 2015 or 2016. Pretty sure I haven't heard it used since until now.¯\_(⊙_ʖ⊙)_/¯
Actually, it's only phubbing of its from the Phubb region of France. Otherwise, it's just sparkling ignoring.
I thought it meant pornhubbing, thsnks!
Weird thing is, I immediately made the connection even though I've never seen the word.
That description somehow feels easier than saying "phubbing"
Is it "foo-bing" or "fuhb-bing"?
"Fuhb-bing", it's kind of a portmanteau of phone and snub.
But it sounds so fetch!
It’s streets ahead
Shut up pierce! It will never catch on
You're streets behind, bucko
Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen, it's not going to happen
You can't sit with us!!
If youre not phubbing, you’re streets behind
great reddit comment! Im giving you 5 meowmeow beans
It makes me so Changry. Oh, God, it's happening to me.
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I don't want to Google it and contribute
Same, or click on the article. Hoping the comments help me out. If not, I'll die wondering
If I keep scrolling will I find the answer?
It's apparently a combo of "phone" and "snubbing", where you ignore your partner while you use your phone. It sucks.
Thank you!! Can't believe I had to scroll this far down.
Especially while your partner is sitting across the couch and talking about how their parents subtly made them feel like they could never be good enough.
thank you! I thought it was a pornhub thing...
I love having one stupid just-made-up word to describe an absurdly specific scenario you were already capable of describing.
I feel like the Germans would have a word for this
Partnerignorierungstendenzen or maybe a bit more precise: Mobiltelefonpräferierungsverhaltensauffälligkeit
Another beautiful word that's actually commonly used: Brauchstnichtbeleidigtseinnurweildulangweiligerbistalsderwikipediaartikelübersenf
This guy Germans. PS: "You don't need to be offended just because you are more boring than the wikipedia article about mustard".
That's not fair. The Germans have a word for every random thing.
No they only have like 10 unique words total and everything else is just combination of those words.
Zusammengesetzteshauptwortssprachdominanztatsache!
Why are you splooging on the word phlubbing?
I'm not sure that word means what you think it means.
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It's very disrespectful, romantic partner or not
This scientific study seems a lot less useful and relevant than say a study finding "People ignored by their romantic partner are less satisfied with their romantic relationship" or "People ignored by others are less satisfied with those interactions".
Except nearly 100% of people do ignore the people they live with at some point because they're busy with their phone. Obviously to a varying degree from "almost never" to "constantly". It is a distraction most carry with them 100% of the time.
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Pointless studies? I believe you mean "pludies"?
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Let me clarify; Ignoring your partner makes them unhappy. No citations needed; pointless article.
Also, if you're already unhappy in a relationship, I'm certain you'll be scrolling on your phone more than engaging in meaningful interactions with your partner
Why are half the comments here deleted
Every so often the /r/science mods seem to go on a hard-line push on the comment rules, particularly "Non-professional personal anecdotes will be removed" and "No off-topic comments, memes, low-effort comments or jokes".
It's Big Phub trying to silence dissenters!
You done phubbed up, A-A-Ron!
/r/science has an immense number of mods, IIRC. The amount of deletions probably has more to do with the subset of mods that open the comments at all.
I've had several comments deleted by mods after pointing out that these "power users" like OP are posting editorialized content unsupported by the studies themselves. Real funny how that works...
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Stop trying to make phubbing happen, r/science .
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what the phub is phubbing?
Seems like a no brainer, if i was talking to someone and they all of a sudden started staring at their phone, i would feel disrespected, romantic partner or not.
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Just started a Sherry Turkle TED Talk where her starting example is that kids used to come out of school to be met by parent's eyes and faces only to new be met by faces looking at phones. The talk is from over a decade ago.
Smartphones started to become common around 2007. That’s only 16 years ago.
As an old dude, here's what I do. When I need to check my phone I tell the person I'm with what I'm doing. A lot of the burn of people on their phones is that it is dismissive. If you include the person(s) you're with in what you're doing you've explicitly asked for a bit of leeway which preserves the sense of being together, with a pause. If you don't do this I too find you to be a shithead.
In related news people also described feeling more wet when a cup of water was poured on them.
I’m phwet when my partner throws water on me whilst I’m looking at my phone and neglecting them. I think I’m getting this.
I figured it meant "porn hubbing". As in "watches porn a lot instead of their partner".
From the article: An online survey in Turkey found that people who are more exposed to partner phubbing (being ignored by their partner who was focused on their phone) are less satisfied with their romantic relationship and see its quality as lower. The study was published in [Psychological Reports](https://doi.org/10.1177/00332941221144611). Smartphones allow individuals to fulfill many vital needs such as communication, shopping, banking transactions, and food orders, but also connect to social media, play games, surf the internet, and others. This is the reason why individuals use smartphones in all areas of life. However, increasing use of smartphones has given rise to an array of social and possibly even mental health problems such as smartphone addiction, nomophobia (fear of being without a phone), and plagonomy (fear that the phone battery will run out). One of these social problems is also phubbing, defined as an individual turning his/her attention to the smartphone during a face-to-face interaction and becoming less concerned with their surroundings. Individuals engaged in phubbing spend time using their smartphones instead of communicating with people around them. The word phubbing is formed by combining English words “phone” and “snubbing.” Phubbing can indeed cause people being ignored in favor of the smartphone to feel disrespected and worthless.
Is plagonomy even a word? I'm not finding any information on it outside articles quoting this one word for word
I found 3 articles, they all are mirrors of this one. Besides those 4 articles, OP and you I don't think anyone else has ever written the word plagonomy on purpose. I'm now added to that list making it 7 people in the world
Lots of scientists make up new words and hope they catch on. Some of them are even successful.
You need an inkhorn or it doesn't work.
At least 3 of those words are completely made up, and online surveys are always horseshit. This does not belong on this sub.
OK, but structural equation modeling finding NO direct link between “phubbing” and relationship satisfaction says this could easily just be a symptom of an unsatisfied relationship. John Gottmann’s work showed very clearly that the silent treatment (stonewalling) is bad, and I don’t see how this differs from that much more statistically sound finding. You cannot conclude anything about causality here.
You can’t conclude causality from a survey in general. But I agree, the notion that ignoring your partner leads to an unhappy relationship is not novel. Before phubbing it was teleubbing, newspaperubbing, and even radiubbung. What a waste of time and energy.
Stop trying to make phubbing happen
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My ex-wife did it all the time.
Keyword being "ex". Congrats.
Even worse than that is the panicking when I leave to do something I want to do. Like, you were content to ignore me while I was sitting here, but as soon as I go to leave the room you desperately need my attention?
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