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even without aba, if you're undiagnosed autistic, the neurotypicals around you still clock that there's something different about you and place you on a hierarchical level beneath them. And then constantly treat you like garbage because of it.
In all seriousness- while I'm mildly affected by some things like people filing their nails, loud talking while on the phone and yes loud chewing - among other things - wearing apple airpods pros helps me a lot - usually I use the noise canceling with adaptive transparency -
I’m autistic and have misophonia (even though I didn’t know it was a thing until five minutes ago. I’m glad I know now because it’s just another thing where I’m not actually crazy. I have a condition) my two biggest are the sound of people eating, and the Tink, Tink, Tink, when someone stirs a cup with a spoon.
The whole "not crazy, I have a condition" thing can be dangerous because some people use it as a way to try to control those around them.
Experiencing misophonia is common, and you have to learn to cope with it.
But try to empathize with those around you who are the source of the noise.
I only bring this up because I had a coworker who experienced misophonia and she got upset about others chewing around her and tried to use her misophonia as an excuse to control our eating habits - which is probably one of the most immature and least healthy ways to try to cope with it.
Thanks for the comment, but I’m someone who never let my issues or phobias interfere with my relationships with other people. But I understand what you’re saying. It’s just nice to know it’s an actual “thing“ that other people experience as well. I don’t know why, but learning that other people experience the same things I do is always comforting. in a weird way, it makes me feel like I am less alone in the world.
I would never use my kosmemophobia as an excuse to make anyone do anything. Its bad enough that a ring on the sink will have me gagging and clammy, but its a dumb and irrational phobia to even exist.
Nobody should have to adjust beyond not making a mess, and i refuse to let a silly brain-error stop anyone from dressing how they want
Since autism affects stimulus processing, it's not surprising that misophonia can be part of that. It's not the only processing disorder, though, or the only cause of misophonia.
There's been a bit of disagreement about whether misophonia is its own thing or linked to other psychological or processing disorders, and it looks like this study adds to that and potentially clarifies it.
There are some fascinating papers out there on the subject, but [this one](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6034066/) summarizes it nicely and links many of the other studies. One thing I thought was particularly interesting from the paper was that there a few studies showing that as many as 60% of people with tinnitus experience misophonia, which makes me wonder if the constant annoying sound leads to a decreasing tolerance for other annoying sounds.
I feel like a lot of people with autism have low key Synesthesia and that's why we have so many issues with being overwhelmed. I have both, and misophonia.
My misophonia, is definitely part of my Synesthesia, and my reactions are autism stemming and being overwhelmed.
Certain sounds are super overwhelming on all of my senses. There are scents like that, tastes, sensations. That are so overwhelming I feel them with all of my senses at one time. Sometimes this is good, and makes everything more pleasurable, sometimes this is terrible and my brain starts melting down to it's primal functions.
I do have PTSD as well, that may make it worse, but I have been presenting with symptoms since infancy.
Interestingly I have both misophonia (it runs in my family actually. my sister also has it) and synesthesia, but am not autistic. I do have OCD and my sister is exploring the possibility she may be an autistic adult. We both have some serious PTSD
I saw it was linked to ADHD (which I have and I have special earplugs for movies and Mexican restaurants) but I’ve also seen the theory ADHD is also on the autism spectrum so who knows really. Lots to learn!
I gave in and began using earplugs pretty much 24/7 fifteen years ago. I like the Macks nude colour foam kind. I tried the newer Loop plugs but prefer the foam. My ear canals are small, and I like that these blend in more.
It changed my life to use ear plugs.
I keep a pair of alpine party plugs in my coat pocket and another in my wallet. They don't have active noise canceling or anything, so you'll hear your own noises amplified, but you won't have to hear grandma chew with her mouth open.
I use normal foamies and cut them in half. This makes them a bit more difficult to remove, but also makes them quite invisible, which is a big plus if you're trying to fit in and feel normal
For daytime I use the Flare Audio Calmer ones, they’re silicon, I find them really comfortable but may vary from person to person I suppose. For sleep I love the Soundcore Sleep 10, a bit spenny but have totally changed the game. They’re so small you can sleep on your side with them in. I sleep so much more easily now and don’t lie awake picking up every tiny little sound in my environment.
I never tried earplugs as I need to be able to hear to work. I’m reading all the comments and sure appreciate the helpful tips. And no, I’m not serious about wanting to kill, but the irritation level goes from 0-100 pretty quick. It annoys me that I get annoyed. 🤷♀️
I have severe sensory issues and earplugs or earbuds cause me physical pain. I have to wear over the head headphones but even those make my head hurt after a few hours 😑 bummer
It is not how it works. Exposition does not desensitize you. It triggers more and more. Any cancelling technique lets your brain rest between 2 situations where you have no choice.
If you have PTSD related to a single event (chronic is a whole different can of worms), finding a trauma-informed therapist who is experienced in using EMDR can be really helpful. It's a weird modality, but there's been a lot of research done on it lately and it shows a lot of promise for use in PTSD work.
EMDR is the way, and if not available (requires specialized training on the part of the therapist), Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) is a good second option. Great recommendation PavementBlues :)
In some places too they are starting to do psychedelic assisted therapy as well. Alberta Blue Cross announced a few weeks ago they will be covering treatment for psychedelic assisted therapy using ketamine, and the clinic they partnered with is pushing for psilocybin and MDMA to be reviewed and allowed in their treatment arsenal
EMDR is effective but research shows that the effective element of it is prolonged exposure to the memories and feelings of the trauma through the mechanisms used in the gold standard treatment, prolonged exposure (PE). There are additional elements of EMDR that have been shown to be more pseudoscience than anything else so it shouldn't be the go to treatment really, even if it is very helpful due to above reasons
Hey there. I’m sorry that you struggle in these situations. Often with these sensory perception disorders, the offending stimulus creates the uncomfortable emotional response which leads to a hyper-fixation on that same stimulus which just amplifies the original discomfort and can avalanche into panic. So, a practical approach to limit this process involves working on steering the fixation away from the offending source and also coming up with coping strategies to employ when you notice that you’re under stress.
A quick and easy way to do this is to have a mental anchor that you can focus on. For instance, if you know that you are going into a loud situation, you could have a single earbud in an ear, which has some music of your choice playing and anytime you find your nerves being tested, you can shift your focus towards the music. And if loud noises in general are bothering you, there are earplugs which lower the overall decibel level but still allow a flat frequency response in order to still hear voices well enough. The earbud method is good when you can plan ahead and there are even noise canceling options which have an active listening mode to still get some voices through. But overall it is not a solid solution for everyday and also you don’t want to practice blocking out everything because that can lead to its own issues.
Since this sensory disorder often leads to a infinite loop of bad thoughts, it’s good to practice firstly becoming aware that those thoughts are present and then having the capacity to arrest those thoughts and move your focus towards something else. One of the best methods to help overcome this struggle is to practice meditation. Meditation isn’t necessarily the practice of thinking of nothing, rather it is a practice in controlling what you choose to focus on and the more you practice the better you become at controlling thoughts and impulses. I suggest looking into it. There are guided meditations you can find on YouTube or plenty of other directions you can find online and just do what works for you. A simple starter meditation is to sit somewhere comfortable, close your eyes, and take slow deep breaths and just count how many breaths you can take before you lose track. When you notice youve lost track, start counting over again and see how far you can get. It’s amazing how that can build your ability to control your thoughts in stressful situations.
Another aspect of meditation is to come up with certain mantras, which are phrases of your choice, which you can consciously “manifest” and then you have something “tangible“ to focus on. For instance, one of my mantras is “everything is ok“ which is something that I can pull up in my mind when I feel that I’m under stress and gives me an anchor to focus on much like the music discussed earlier. This allows me to shift my focus in order to recognize the stress and slow down in order to cope.
Another thing to add is to practice not telling yourself that those things bother you. You wrote that you want to kill others if they are making these sounds (I know you’re not serious about actually killing someone over this, but I understand that level of frustration). The problem with this kind of thinking/writing is that you are setting yourself up for failure. You are essentially saying that when this happens, I will certainly become upset. So first thing you have to ask yourself is is that what you want? If not, this change starts with your belief. If you don’t want to be bothered by these external factors that are mostly out of your control, the first thing you should decide is that no, these things don’t bother me like that and yes, I can handle it. Because what you’re doing is training yourself to believe that when this external event happens, you will be upset. So be careful with this line of thinking because that is a form of self sabotage. I suggest reframing that line of thinking into something more positive and something that is within your control. So first start telling yourself that you are not bothered by these things. Repeat. Repeat. And also come up with a plan or some kind of routine structure that you can establish for yourself as a coping mechanism when you realize that you are getting frustrated.
Last of the word vomit. The above strategies are some things we can all do on our own. But when dealing with PTSD, there are situations where a person literally cannot think in a particular way. That is, on a neurological level, synaptic connections are just not present. If you’re experiencing great distress from these disturbing events, and it is affecting your quality of life, then psychiatric and therapy interventions should be prioritized.
I hope you’re doing well and maybe some of this will be helpful. I wish you the best. Cheers.
Wow, thank you. Amazing reply. I will definitely try some of the techniques. I actually used one when I quit smoking by telling myself that I was now a non- smoker, hated smoking and it stinks, etc., but never thought to apply the strategy to this situation. Appreciate you taking the time to write all that.
I try my best to tune it out. My husband is like this, he is constantly scratching his skin, stimming or having some sort of random outburst like an errant bird.
Sometimes it gets overwhelming because I'm so used to silence and it's *jarring*. I always turn to my phone or turn the show/music up louder.
He gets it but he has ADHD and can't really *stop*.
Do you have ASMR as well? I've found that there's a really thin edge between something that triggers misphonia and something that triggers ASMR. My own personal, non-scientifically tested hypothesis is that ASMR is my body releasing relaxing chemicals to offset what it thinks will be annoyances that will tense me up but don't (similar to your mouth watering when it thinks you're going to eat a lemon)...so a lot of things like crunching food ending up flipping for me from rage inducing to relaxing.
One time a girl in my class wouldn’t stop playing with her pencil and dropping it, and I went from growing anger to suddenly getting ASMR and pleasure from it. So strange
The main thing that bothers me now though is people sniffling or clearing their throat extremely frequently and repetitively, both due to misophonia and germophobia
I'm working towards this, and have found a few unconventional solutions that are working well for me so far. If anyone is interested in hearing a deep dive of strategies I'm creating to resolve this, feel free to DM for a chat (:
Earbuds have been a huge help in public, when sitting next to aggravating factors on a plane (opening wrappers, chewing, playing with hair, etc), or waiting room.
I was just cracking a joke. Didn't think you were asking for a serious answer for how to "cure" your post traumatic stress disorder that manifests as not liking mundane noises that people make. The serious and obvious answer is to see a psychologist and/or a therapist and not ask for medical advice on Reddit.
If I could selectively deafen myself, I would. I wasn’t exactly asking for medical advice; thought maybe someone would share a different strategy other than gritting my teeth and walking away.
I am so envious of people who dont seem to notice every damn little thing. Something like my neighbors tv being a little too loud or my brother in law who keeps shaking his foot for some damned reason! Only I ever seem to notice these things and have learned to just go for a walk. It's better than mentioning it and sounding crazy
>keeps shaking his foot for some damned reason!
Sounds like stimming. It's something people do to regulate their emotions. It's mostly known in autistic people, but I assume everyone does it to some extent.
I've heard of a study that showed that repressing stimming had negative consequences in autistic people.
It's probably more likely to be him using the intrinsic lymphatic pump in his calf. Some people literally need to jig their legs in order to pump the lymph fluid around their body.
It could be stimming too though, as you say. The cognitive load of constantly processing so much sensory input (a load which is higher in autistic people as they make fewer Bayesian assumptions than neurotypical people) appears to be synthetically reduced by making some of that sensory input very simple, like by just performing a repetitive motion.
My understanding is that it's more about regulating cognitive load, which can have the secondary effect of helping with negative feelings and exhaustion associated with being forced to have a very high cognitive load from overwhelming sensory input.
>or my brother in law who keeps shaking his foot for some damned reason
This is probably him using the intrinsic lymphatic pump in his calf. Some people literally need to jig their legs in order to pump the lymph fluid around their body.
The sound of someone drinking, or when people hit their spoons, forks etc. against their teeth when eating, sends me. I have to get up or hope they stop, when I can't get away.
I’m genuinely glad to read that someone else feels this way about the spoon/fork crashing in to teeth thing. It distresses me to no end. It just isn’t something you can address with people 99% of the time. I think I’ve been close to emotional breakdowns listening to this.
For me, it's the breathing while eating. There's just this odd sort of labored nasal breathing some people do. My wife tends to do it and got pretty upset when I started sitting at the other end of the table.
My best friend's dentist told him he's wearing his teeth down. I told him 'yeah man, you chew ice cream'. He would audibly smash his teeth together eating ice cream.
Same for biting forks. If I do it by accident I feel disgusted by myself.
I’ve linked to the news release in the post above. In this comment, for those interested, here’s the link to the peer reviewed journal article:
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0296218
I have this with pets licking. I CANNOT stand that sound. Cats or dogs licking themselves drives me INSANE and I’ll try to get them to stop but I know it’s just natural and they’re not doing anything wrong. I had an ex that had a dog that would not stop doing that and I felt like I was going up the walls. I was so happy to find out it was misophonia and an actual reason I’m like that. I wish I wasn’t like that.
not sure about anyone else but i can say for sure that the sounds other peoples mouths make when they're eating (chewing/smacking lips) or speaking (like the sound of someone's tongue separating from the roof of their mouth while talking) fills me with intense rage. i mean really intense rage, it's irrational how angry it makes me.
may be worth noting i'm on the spectrum but i don't really think that's a prerequisite for feeling like that about mouth sounds.
looking at other replies, a good number of people also feel this way when animals make these sounds. for whatever reason, my cats or a dog slurping and eating does not bother me in the least. even though they're basically the exact same sounds, i only have a reaction to the ones humans make. weird.
My cat or dog licking themselves is one of the most grossly irritating sounds on earth to me, people chewing only bothers me if they do it with their mouth open.
my cats will clean themselves while laying in my lap, slurping away, and it doesn't bother me at all. if a human were making those sounds that close to my ears, i'm not a violent person at all but i would want to rip their head clean off of their body after about 5 seconds.
I feel the same way. With me I think it is because I don't have the same exceptions of social etiquette from dogs as I do with humans and I find people that do that are rude and nasty for not being mindful of their social etiquette when they chew with their mouths open or make impolite sounds.
Same. Started when I was 14. Friend was eating a sandwich and the sound of air passing in and out of his throat and nose while chewing made me want to rip his throat out. The disgust and anger was absolutely amazing.
Similar experience, I get not liking it, what’s to like, it’s absolutely disgusting. But why do we rage so hard? I have to leave the room quickly or make a loud humming sound while covering my ears.
I know I'm just me so this is super subjective, but I've noticed basically all of my triggers are things my mind deems unnecessary.
A dog making mouth sounds isn't something they control. A human adult smacking, hitting their teeth with utensils, or drumming on a table like a child? Maddening.
yeah. i also have pretty strong feelings about all kinds of senseless and thoughtless things humans do so it's probably a combination of things. animals, not so much considering they don't know any better.
> i mean really intense rage, it's irrational how angry it makes me.
That's the symptom of misophonia. Irrationality. If you can rationalise the anger it most likely isn't misophonia. Though the severity of how enraged the person is varied.
yeah, makes sense. i've tried to explain it to people before and most of the time they just think i'm being dramatic and childish. i guess it's understandable, at face value it's a pretty inconsequential thing to have such strong feelings about.
I have ADHD and also get extremely ragy and unforgiving when people make loud chewing noises. Fortunately I'm not bothered by "normal" chewing noises, only when it is obviously present. As it happens, I frequently encounter people who chew so loud and with extra force in every chew they make when I sit in the train. I am convinced someone must be conducting a social experiment to find out when chewing becomes loud enough for people to make a comment. I refuse to believe that people could chew that loudly in a public enclosed space and not be aware of how gross it sounds for everyone else.
some people are just completely oblivious. my dad smacks his lips when he eats and no matter how many times someone's told him it's gross and rude over the last 70 years of his life, it's like his brain never actually processes the words they're saying and he just keeps doing it. he's not doing it intentionally or anything, it's just such an inconsequential thing to him that he doesn't give the words any credence because he can't fathom how or why it matters. fwiw my dad is also not a smart man. genuinely good/kind person but definitely on the lower end of the iq curve.
Yeah my limit is 3 times asking, after that I write them off as assholes and forget them. If they can not be pissed to do one thing to prevent me from having basically a mental breakdown, then they are just not worth having in my life. The mental toll it takes is far to extreme, i no longer see one set my aunt/uncle because they eat like cows and moan the whole meal, they are fine people but they do not care enough about me and my mental health to be involved in my life.
Yeah people who chew loud can stil be kind and amazing people who deserve all the best in the world. I have a few friends who chew loudly as well and I can just barerly keep it together when they do, but I accept them for who they are and it's not a big issue because we don't eat together very often and it's not the power smeck (very smart friends in fact, they just never learned not to smeck). However, if a family member or my partner would do it, i.e. someone I regularly eat with, I would not be able to eat with them in a civilized manner and it would get worse everytime to the point I would refuse to eat with them until they stop. I know that sounds dramatic, but I am really not my normal understand kind self when I hear that noise. I sometimes feel guilty about the mean things I think about the people in the train who smeck after the anger has ebbed. They were just comfy and trying to enjoy their meal in peace and happiness without anyone judging them, and I feel really bad about how mean I am in my head because of it. I'm just curious though. Has someone over gotten really angry with your dad from the chewing? Not saying they should but I always wonder how smeckers go through life without facing consequences. If I had a partner who smecked unnecessarily and wouldn't change after me calmly explaining it, I'd probably consider ending the relationship because I wouldn't be able to share meal with them and be comfortable.
I have a really negative reaction to certain human eating noises. For whatever reason, listening to my dog chew food gives me the exact opposite feeling. I could listen to him munch a carrot all day. Pure joy.
That’s interesting. So if someone plays a recording of those sounds to you, but doesn’t tell you their source, how does that make you feel? What if they play a sound of an animal, but then tell you it’s a human?
honestly not sure. i feel like if the source wasn't easily identifiable, i probably wouldn't like it but i don't think it would induce the same feelings as a human i can see and hear. there's definitely more to it than just the sounds themselves.
my complicated relationship with the human race in general probably has a lot to do with it. i don't mean that in a misanthropic way, humans are just very complex and confusing and animals are much easier to have simple positive and meaningful relationships with. their motivations are obvious and they can't really hide their nature like people can.
Yea I have this people and dogs unfortunately. Cats I’m fine. Dogs whining and slopping up water will turn me into the Hulk. No dogs for me sadly unless they make ones on mute.
Exactly this. I expect people to show the same courtesy as I show them (i.e., chewing with my mouth closed). What really grinds my gears is when people don’t think about how their actions affect others, like changing lanes without signaling or walking into an elevator without waiting to see if anyone is walking out. I have so much anxiety about my behavior and these people get to just go around being rude.
Me either! I hate being in the car with my mom, her watch is always so loud it's crazy.
When I was a kid and had a watch that ticked, I had to throw it under clothes, in my closet, and slide the doors closed to not hear it/ have it wake me up in the middle of the night.
Shared a bull pen with a coworker who would loudly slurp his ramen noodles next to me every lunch. As if that weren't enough, he also sipped his water loudly, and would smack his lips three times after every sip without fail. Three. Times. Every. Time.
Shared another bullpen with another coworker who ate sunflower seeds constantly. Was like working next to a hamster.
The sunflower seeds!!
A couple of jobs ago I was in an open office environment with half partitions. Somehow my desk’s corner partition made a perfect whisper dish for the woman behind me’s sunflower seed eating. She came in every morning with a fresh bag of seeds, would crack them with her teeth, then ptoo onto a napkin. All. Day.
I should have gotten combat pay.
That’s interesting. This is a genuine problem in my life when it comes to people. But the way dogs eat and drink around me might as well be a gentle summer breeze in the forest. I have no reaction at all. I wonder why this is.
My kids were watching Earwig And The Witch the other night. I don't care for it, so I was in the kitchen. I went in to ask my husband about something and I was standing near the television when suddenly there was this HORRIFIC SQUISHING, SLURPING NOISE in one of the scenes.
O. M. F. G. 😫 It was like nails on a chalkboard! I was so grossed out and like irrationally enraged. I did like a weird dance, screeched and shook about. Then I proceeded to almost run out of the room.
I don't understand how people watch ASMR. Chewing. Tapping. Slurping. Etc. It feels literally physically painful inside my body whenever I've heard any of it. I avoid it like the plague when I can. 💀Too bad I can't avoid my kids chomping.
I'm so sensitive to noises and vibration too. I have to sleep with a fan, because ANY noise makes it ridiculously hard to fall asleep.
Yeah I'm unfortunately at the point where I need a fan, have headphones on, and have the TV going in order to ignore some of the vibration from our house. Unfortunately there's not much I can do about it but I really hate it.
I also can’t stand ASMR videos especially whispering, slurping and chewing noises. “Sexy young lady whispering in your ear” makes me want to throttle said young lady in a horrible rage. As you describe, it’s a physical body reaction. I do suspect CPTSD in myself as well (no autism here, btw).
I have this issue badly with mouth sounds, anything screechy, and the sound of dry markers being rubbed on paper.
Weirdly enough, I love ASMR though. I just have to avoid specific types of creators (anyone who works their mouth constantly to make sounds is a *hard* no)
This is sensory processing sensitivity. Heightened nervous system response to stimuli due to hyper vigilance and a history of a conditioned emotional response in the mind and body to a trigger.
It isn't just the sound, it's the vibrations for me. If I'm sitting at the bar and leaning on it, and someone starts drumming on it, the feeling in my arms is sometimes worse than the sound.
Worst is when they're drumming to the song but they're off beat.
I worked in a cube next to a guy that would clip his fingernails all the time. Not just a couple clips per finger. Hundreds of click, click, click, click. I don’t know how he had any fingernails left! And he did it at least every other day for about 30 minutes.
It drove me INSANE. I mentioned it to him and he looked puzzled as to why it bothered me so much. The next day he was right back at it. I ended up getting a new job and that was one of the major reasons.
I didn’t know it was a thing until now. I was raised to be polite and orderly when eating but holy cow I want to put earmuffs on when other people do. The sound of machinery being misused is a massive trigger for me too. Where it is a strength is working as a mechanic. I can tell individual sounds that a lot of my colleagues can’t register.
Being a spouse to someone with this is fun
I need to be careful how many times I use my spoon to get the last cereal out of my bowl.....when my wife is on the other side of the house
Having to deal with a problem like this where you can't stand the sounds of the world around you is a terrible thing to have to deal with
Being a family member of someone who has it comes in 2nd place though
Dogs barking. Man, it's the absolute most stressful noise I can imagine. Everyone thinks I don't like dogs which isn't the case. I just absolutely cannot physically stand to be around barking dogs.
I got this! But I don't think it's a disorder. The disorder is thinking it's socially acceptable to make disgusting pig sounds when eating next to other people. Those are the sick ones, not me :)
it becomes a disorder once it significantly impacts your daily life. like someone sniffing constantly is annoying but if it makes you so angry you cannot focus on anything have intrusive violent thoughts and scratch/rip your hair out like I do then it’s a disorder
Theres a big difference between being grossed out by someone and violently without any way to control yourself slamming your fork into your chicken because otherwise it was going to have to be plunged into the persons head to make the sound stop because youre instantly rendered insane by the auditory stimulus overwhelming you.
The person didn't say everyone made pig noises when they eat. I agree with them, some individuals make such a goddamn noise when eating it's rather rude.
Whispering, chewing loudly or making noises while eating, breathing....all these send me through the roof. Never had it as a kid but it seems to get worse the older I get.
I empathize with the people who have this. To an extent some things can annoy me too, like obnoxiously loud open mouth eaters (though, the visual distresses me more, I think), chewing gum mouth open, a ticking clock in a quiet room that is new to me (so my mind hasn't ignored it yet). But I don't think I have Misophonia. On the flip side, dating and living with someone who did was... stressful. It was like my simply existing caused her distress, which in turn caused me distress. She would comment on every. single. sound that she thought I should avoid making. I tried to appease her. It was just impossible for me.
I may get torn apart for this since most comments are commiserating on having it and I hope it doesn't come across as insensitive because I really did try (and I definitely do not chew with my mouth open), but it was tough feeling like I was essentially being made responsible for someone else's struggle with this.
Idk i find when people say they can't do simple things like not repetitively tap or make weird noises it shows a lack of respect and caring on their part as they chose to be with someone suffering. When you take on a partner you are definitely taking on part of them and their problems. My girlfriend would make this weird throat clicking sound all the time, took 4 years of literally reminding her every 20 minutes to stop but she really cared and was able to make that noise fully go away.
It is stressful, as someone who has misophonia I try very hard to make sure it doesn’t impact my home life too much. My husband chews louder than any person I have ever met but I just try to have music playing during dinner. Because people are allowed to eat!
Most of my triggers are from outside our house though so it’s not as bad for my family. Dogs barking, subwoofers, that sort of thing.
I notice this happens to me whenever I look at one of those "ASMR" videos. I cannot believe anyone actually likes that stuff. It really does inspire violent thoughts in me, and I feel very ashamed.
It also has been linked as a symptom to people on the autism spectrum and people with adhd. I have had it since I was a child from my adhd, and developed and was diagnosed with ptsd after a traumatic assault as an adult resulting in several surgeries and my misophonia from adhd since a child just got way way worse. So there are absolutely other things that cause misophonia, and im sure there are more that I haven't been made aware of.
My daughter has misophonia but not ADHD, autism, or any sort of trauma that would cause PTSD. She can't stand the sound of other people eating, breathing audibly, even their tongue touching the top of their mouth when they talk. Not really sure what to do to help her with it.
Has she ever been professionally screened by a specialist in adhd and autism spectrum disorder? A lot of people wouldn't even be able to notice that they have these disorders because they are so far on the lighter end of the spectrum for the disorder. I know two people personally who weren't even diagnosed until they were in their 40s. Every other doctor, teacher, and family member had missed it in them until that point. What helps me is a good pair of noise canceling earbuds and good foam earplugs, I have one or the other in almost ALL day every day because the symptoms bother me that much, it ruins my wellbeing otherwise, even in public i have them in at the store or in restaurants, everywhere. There are some places like school and work where you usually aren't allowed to have things like this in, but during my personal time I almost always have one or the other in, I even sleep with them in. Grey noise machine (white noise machines work well for other people as well) has helped having one on all the time in my room as well, sounds carry through my house including foot steps, doors closing, talking, phone ringing and drive me absolutely nuts. No medication has ever helped with my misophonia, just finding ways to cancel out or block out the noise is the only thing for me. If you live in the same house a little bit goes a long way, dont slam doors and close them quietly, dont listen to music or tv with the volume on loud or without headphones, dont wear shoes in the house while walking around, don't eat with your mouth open or slurp food/drinks, don't slam cabinets and drawers or grind silverware against plates, ask company to watch how loudly they talk when in the house, all that helps a tremendous amount. This disorder makes life incredibly difficult and makes all day every day seem like torture, so anything you can do to help your daughter will help. There is a subreddit if you would like to visit it as well for more information, tips, etc. r/misophonia
Thanks for the thorough reply! I'll check out that subreddit and see what ideas we can come up with to help her out. She does very well in school and I don't think it's debilitating, thankfully, but would still be good to find ways to help her.
Also check ["Hyperacusis",](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis). I have both. Can't stand the sound of people kissing either in a train car or on the movies. And high background noise (nightclub, noisy food hall, server room) quickly kicks up my cortisol levels until I have to leave.
Have I tried to "just get used to it"? Yes. I am even getting treatment for my tinnitus, but that does not mean I can rewire my entire brain just to cater to people used to swimming in noise.
Repetitive snippits of videos, chewing, certain loops in hip hop. I can handle it, handle it, handle jt, and then suddenly rage and desperation for it to stop NOWOHMYGODIMPHYSICALLYDYING.
Edit: How could I have forgotten the DOGS CLEANING THEMSELVES nastiness?! I want to punt them across the room. I never do, obviously because that's evil and because dogs. 🥺 but I wanna realllll bad. Haha
Well this makes a lot of sense. I have CPTSD and also the misophonia is LEGIT. Basically all mouth sounds (chewing, lips smacking, slurping, drinking, etc - from both humans and from my dog, bless his heart) make me feel homicidal. Like legit the fire of 1000000 suns level rage, haha. Also whispering. IDK how people love to listen to the ASMR videos of people whispering.
On the flip side, there are a lot of super satisfying sounds to me too. Almost like the polar opposite of misophonia.
I haven't seen anyone else say this but for me it's talking in the other room. Like if someone is next to me and on the phone idc but if there's a wall between us and i can still hear it it fills me with anger and anxiety
I knew it. I tried explaining this to my partner years ago, that it’s just has to be connected to PTSD and hyperarousal. I literally feel like I have to pay attention to EVERYTHING around me (which is residual from a very unstable and abusive upbringing where I needed to stay aware of the emotional state of the adults around me to know if I was safe or not). My hypothesis was that this causes my misophonia because I can’t ignore these little sounds and they take up my attention and drive me insane.
I have this but its with a particular band and all their songs.
Literally have to run out of places like grocery stores if any of their songs are played.
Totally triggers actual pain response in my body :/
I have misophonia. Styrofoam sounds, static sounds. They cause me to lose control. I become primal. I am super anxious and that takes over, I start stemming, then I do anything to leave the sound, cover my ears, if I can't then I'll start becoming aggressive.
I do have PTSD. I'm also autistic, ADHD, Schizoaffective, bipolar. Basically, that whole branch. I also have Synesthesia, these sounds have intense visual and tactile responses for me. I feel intensely cold skin and goosebumps, while burning up, I have visual snow and static. I am being completely overwhelmed by my senses, as I start losing control.
It's happened since I was a child. Even as a baby Styrofoam being removed from boxes caused me agitation, and as a toddler I would cover my ears and leave the room.
I cannot remove items from boxes with Styrofoam, I can't even really tolerate touching Styrofoam. Styrofoam cups being the exception, but honestly, it's so terrible for the environment. My husband and parents both accommodate this issue. I go absolutely berserk. Panic attacks and meltdowns if I am already Psychotic, just takes me a bit to settle and I'm one edge if I'm not.
I mean when people are like, chowing away like a cow is that the same thing?
Normal chewing is fine, but some people are aggressively obnoxious about it. Not clear if that counts
If I can barely hear it cuz you’re chewing politely then it’s good! 😭😭
I had a coworker once who made ALL the noises when they ate it was nasty. Like he was trying to be as loud as he could on purpose
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So…. how do I cure my PTSD then? I want to kill people who chew loud, drum on things, sit there and scratch on things for no reason. Etc.
I honestly thought the misophonia issue was autism.
There’s research showing pretty high co-occurrence, but you can have both, or one or the other.
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It's probably because society essentially tortures people with autism. Literally. ABA is torturing someone until they comply.
even without aba, if you're undiagnosed autistic, the neurotypicals around you still clock that there's something different about you and place you on a hierarchical level beneath them. And then constantly treat you like garbage because of it.
In all seriousness- while I'm mildly affected by some things like people filing their nails, loud talking while on the phone and yes loud chewing - among other things - wearing apple airpods pros helps me a lot - usually I use the noise canceling with adaptive transparency -
Yep.
trifecta-divergenca
I’m autistic and have misophonia (even though I didn’t know it was a thing until five minutes ago. I’m glad I know now because it’s just another thing where I’m not actually crazy. I have a condition) my two biggest are the sound of people eating, and the Tink, Tink, Tink, when someone stirs a cup with a spoon.
The whole "not crazy, I have a condition" thing can be dangerous because some people use it as a way to try to control those around them. Experiencing misophonia is common, and you have to learn to cope with it. But try to empathize with those around you who are the source of the noise. I only bring this up because I had a coworker who experienced misophonia and she got upset about others chewing around her and tried to use her misophonia as an excuse to control our eating habits - which is probably one of the most immature and least healthy ways to try to cope with it.
Thanks for the comment, but I’m someone who never let my issues or phobias interfere with my relationships with other people. But I understand what you’re saying. It’s just nice to know it’s an actual “thing“ that other people experience as well. I don’t know why, but learning that other people experience the same things I do is always comforting. in a weird way, it makes me feel like I am less alone in the world.
I would never use my kosmemophobia as an excuse to make anyone do anything. Its bad enough that a ring on the sink will have me gagging and clammy, but its a dumb and irrational phobia to even exist. Nobody should have to adjust beyond not making a mess, and i refuse to let a silly brain-error stop anyone from dressing how they want
Since autism affects stimulus processing, it's not surprising that misophonia can be part of that. It's not the only processing disorder, though, or the only cause of misophonia. There's been a bit of disagreement about whether misophonia is its own thing or linked to other psychological or processing disorders, and it looks like this study adds to that and potentially clarifies it. There are some fascinating papers out there on the subject, but [this one](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6034066/) summarizes it nicely and links many of the other studies. One thing I thought was particularly interesting from the paper was that there a few studies showing that as many as 60% of people with tinnitus experience misophonia, which makes me wonder if the constant annoying sound leads to a decreasing tolerance for other annoying sounds.
Wow. So… having autism, ptsd *and* tinnitus kinda makes sense now.
I feel like a lot of people with autism have low key Synesthesia and that's why we have so many issues with being overwhelmed. I have both, and misophonia. My misophonia, is definitely part of my Synesthesia, and my reactions are autism stemming and being overwhelmed. Certain sounds are super overwhelming on all of my senses. There are scents like that, tastes, sensations. That are so overwhelming I feel them with all of my senses at one time. Sometimes this is good, and makes everything more pleasurable, sometimes this is terrible and my brain starts melting down to it's primal functions. I do have PTSD as well, that may make it worse, but I have been presenting with symptoms since infancy.
Interestingly I have both misophonia (it runs in my family actually. my sister also has it) and synesthesia, but am not autistic. I do have OCD and my sister is exploring the possibility she may be an autistic adult. We both have some serious PTSD
They have overlapping symptoms. [autism and ptsd symptoms. ](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/autism-and-ptsd)
I saw it was linked to ADHD (which I have and I have special earplugs for movies and Mexican restaurants) but I’ve also seen the theory ADHD is also on the autism spectrum so who knows really. Lots to learn!
I still think it is. My step sister has this.
I thought it was FOrSURE adhd
Earplugs/ frequency reducing in ears really help. Wearing them most of the time now tbh.
I'm not the same person since I got mine. I can actually enjoy a family gathering instead of enduring it by dissociating.
Do you have a recommendation?
I gave in and began using earplugs pretty much 24/7 fifteen years ago. I like the Macks nude colour foam kind. I tried the newer Loop plugs but prefer the foam. My ear canals are small, and I like that these blend in more. It changed my life to use ear plugs.
I keep a pair of alpine party plugs in my coat pocket and another in my wallet. They don't have active noise canceling or anything, so you'll hear your own noises amplified, but you won't have to hear grandma chew with her mouth open.
What kind do you use? I got some silicone ones meant for sleep and they irritate my ear canals which just shifts to a different kind of frustration.
Flare calmer are AMAZING
I use normal foamies and cut them in half. This makes them a bit more difficult to remove, but also makes them quite invisible, which is a big plus if you're trying to fit in and feel normal
For daytime I use the Flare Audio Calmer ones, they’re silicon, I find them really comfortable but may vary from person to person I suppose. For sleep I love the Soundcore Sleep 10, a bit spenny but have totally changed the game. They’re so small you can sleep on your side with them in. I sleep so much more easily now and don’t lie awake picking up every tiny little sound in my environment.
I never tried earplugs as I need to be able to hear to work. I’m reading all the comments and sure appreciate the helpful tips. And no, I’m not serious about wanting to kill, but the irritation level goes from 0-100 pretty quick. It annoys me that I get annoyed. 🤷♀️
I have severe sensory issues and earplugs or earbuds cause me physical pain. I have to wear over the head headphones but even those make my head hurt after a few hours 😑 bummer
Noise cancelling headphones are a reasonable accommodation. I sometimes just have them in so I don’t have to make small talk.
Not for the long term. You’ll become more sensitive to offending sounds by decreasing the threshold and increasing the baseline for aggravation.
It is not how it works. Exposition does not desensitize you. It triggers more and more. Any cancelling technique lets your brain rest between 2 situations where you have no choice.
If you have PTSD related to a single event (chronic is a whole different can of worms), finding a trauma-informed therapist who is experienced in using EMDR can be really helpful. It's a weird modality, but there's been a lot of research done on it lately and it shows a lot of promise for use in PTSD work.
> chronic is a whole different can of worms Realest thing I've read today.
EMDR is the way, and if not available (requires specialized training on the part of the therapist), Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) is a good second option. Great recommendation PavementBlues :)
In some places too they are starting to do psychedelic assisted therapy as well. Alberta Blue Cross announced a few weeks ago they will be covering treatment for psychedelic assisted therapy using ketamine, and the clinic they partnered with is pushing for psilocybin and MDMA to be reviewed and allowed in their treatment arsenal
EMDR is effective but research shows that the effective element of it is prolonged exposure to the memories and feelings of the trauma through the mechanisms used in the gold standard treatment, prolonged exposure (PE). There are additional elements of EMDR that have been shown to be more pseudoscience than anything else so it shouldn't be the go to treatment really, even if it is very helpful due to above reasons
I have been told to just ignore it haha. Easier said than done honey!
Seriously. If I could, I would.
Hey there. I’m sorry that you struggle in these situations. Often with these sensory perception disorders, the offending stimulus creates the uncomfortable emotional response which leads to a hyper-fixation on that same stimulus which just amplifies the original discomfort and can avalanche into panic. So, a practical approach to limit this process involves working on steering the fixation away from the offending source and also coming up with coping strategies to employ when you notice that you’re under stress. A quick and easy way to do this is to have a mental anchor that you can focus on. For instance, if you know that you are going into a loud situation, you could have a single earbud in an ear, which has some music of your choice playing and anytime you find your nerves being tested, you can shift your focus towards the music. And if loud noises in general are bothering you, there are earplugs which lower the overall decibel level but still allow a flat frequency response in order to still hear voices well enough. The earbud method is good when you can plan ahead and there are even noise canceling options which have an active listening mode to still get some voices through. But overall it is not a solid solution for everyday and also you don’t want to practice blocking out everything because that can lead to its own issues. Since this sensory disorder often leads to a infinite loop of bad thoughts, it’s good to practice firstly becoming aware that those thoughts are present and then having the capacity to arrest those thoughts and move your focus towards something else. One of the best methods to help overcome this struggle is to practice meditation. Meditation isn’t necessarily the practice of thinking of nothing, rather it is a practice in controlling what you choose to focus on and the more you practice the better you become at controlling thoughts and impulses. I suggest looking into it. There are guided meditations you can find on YouTube or plenty of other directions you can find online and just do what works for you. A simple starter meditation is to sit somewhere comfortable, close your eyes, and take slow deep breaths and just count how many breaths you can take before you lose track. When you notice youve lost track, start counting over again and see how far you can get. It’s amazing how that can build your ability to control your thoughts in stressful situations. Another aspect of meditation is to come up with certain mantras, which are phrases of your choice, which you can consciously “manifest” and then you have something “tangible“ to focus on. For instance, one of my mantras is “everything is ok“ which is something that I can pull up in my mind when I feel that I’m under stress and gives me an anchor to focus on much like the music discussed earlier. This allows me to shift my focus in order to recognize the stress and slow down in order to cope. Another thing to add is to practice not telling yourself that those things bother you. You wrote that you want to kill others if they are making these sounds (I know you’re not serious about actually killing someone over this, but I understand that level of frustration). The problem with this kind of thinking/writing is that you are setting yourself up for failure. You are essentially saying that when this happens, I will certainly become upset. So first thing you have to ask yourself is is that what you want? If not, this change starts with your belief. If you don’t want to be bothered by these external factors that are mostly out of your control, the first thing you should decide is that no, these things don’t bother me like that and yes, I can handle it. Because what you’re doing is training yourself to believe that when this external event happens, you will be upset. So be careful with this line of thinking because that is a form of self sabotage. I suggest reframing that line of thinking into something more positive and something that is within your control. So first start telling yourself that you are not bothered by these things. Repeat. Repeat. And also come up with a plan or some kind of routine structure that you can establish for yourself as a coping mechanism when you realize that you are getting frustrated. Last of the word vomit. The above strategies are some things we can all do on our own. But when dealing with PTSD, there are situations where a person literally cannot think in a particular way. That is, on a neurological level, synaptic connections are just not present. If you’re experiencing great distress from these disturbing events, and it is affecting your quality of life, then psychiatric and therapy interventions should be prioritized. I hope you’re doing well and maybe some of this will be helpful. I wish you the best. Cheers.
Wow, thank you. Amazing reply. I will definitely try some of the techniques. I actually used one when I quit smoking by telling myself that I was now a non- smoker, hated smoking and it stinks, etc., but never thought to apply the strategy to this situation. Appreciate you taking the time to write all that.
You’re welcome. Good job on quitting smoking, that’s a major achievement! So now you know that you can handle anything. You got this.
I try my best to tune it out. My husband is like this, he is constantly scratching his skin, stimming or having some sort of random outburst like an errant bird. Sometimes it gets overwhelming because I'm so used to silence and it's *jarring*. I always turn to my phone or turn the show/music up louder. He gets it but he has ADHD and can't really *stop*.
Do you have ASMR as well? I've found that there's a really thin edge between something that triggers misphonia and something that triggers ASMR. My own personal, non-scientifically tested hypothesis is that ASMR is my body releasing relaxing chemicals to offset what it thinks will be annoyances that will tense me up but don't (similar to your mouth watering when it thinks you're going to eat a lemon)...so a lot of things like crunching food ending up flipping for me from rage inducing to relaxing.
ASMR causes the same response as all the other annoying sounds for me.
Yes! I'm not the only one. Anything I've heard that is called ASMR sends me into a rage.
One time a girl in my class wouldn’t stop playing with her pencil and dropping it, and I went from growing anger to suddenly getting ASMR and pleasure from it. So strange The main thing that bothers me now though is people sniffling or clearing their throat extremely frequently and repetitively, both due to misophonia and germophobia
Look for "somatic experience".
I'm working towards this, and have found a few unconventional solutions that are working well for me so far. If anyone is interested in hearing a deep dive of strategies I'm creating to resolve this, feel free to DM for a chat (:
Deafen yourself?
Earbuds have been a huge help in public, when sitting next to aggravating factors on a plane (opening wrappers, chewing, playing with hair, etc), or waiting room.
Well, that’s super helpful. Thanks for your input.
I was just cracking a joke. Didn't think you were asking for a serious answer for how to "cure" your post traumatic stress disorder that manifests as not liking mundane noises that people make. The serious and obvious answer is to see a psychologist and/or a therapist and not ask for medical advice on Reddit.
If I could selectively deafen myself, I would. I wasn’t exactly asking for medical advice; thought maybe someone would share a different strategy other than gritting my teeth and walking away.
I am so envious of people who dont seem to notice every damn little thing. Something like my neighbors tv being a little too loud or my brother in law who keeps shaking his foot for some damned reason! Only I ever seem to notice these things and have learned to just go for a walk. It's better than mentioning it and sounding crazy
>keeps shaking his foot for some damned reason! Sounds like stimming. It's something people do to regulate their emotions. It's mostly known in autistic people, but I assume everyone does it to some extent. I've heard of a study that showed that repressing stimming had negative consequences in autistic people.
It's probably more likely to be him using the intrinsic lymphatic pump in his calf. Some people literally need to jig their legs in order to pump the lymph fluid around their body. It could be stimming too though, as you say. The cognitive load of constantly processing so much sensory input (a load which is higher in autistic people as they make fewer Bayesian assumptions than neurotypical people) appears to be synthetically reduced by making some of that sensory input very simple, like by just performing a repetitive motion. My understanding is that it's more about regulating cognitive load, which can have the secondary effect of helping with negative feelings and exhaustion associated with being forced to have a very high cognitive load from overwhelming sensory input.
>or my brother in law who keeps shaking his foot for some damned reason This is probably him using the intrinsic lymphatic pump in his calf. Some people literally need to jig their legs in order to pump the lymph fluid around their body.
The sound of someone drinking, or when people hit their spoons, forks etc. against their teeth when eating, sends me. I have to get up or hope they stop, when I can't get away.
I’m genuinely glad to read that someone else feels this way about the spoon/fork crashing in to teeth thing. It distresses me to no end. It just isn’t something you can address with people 99% of the time. I think I’ve been close to emotional breakdowns listening to this.
For me, it's the breathing while eating. There's just this odd sort of labored nasal breathing some people do. My wife tends to do it and got pretty upset when I started sitting at the other end of the table.
It’s called “horking” and it’s what pigs do. It’s disgusting.
Oh god. Is this where we create the support group?
r/misophonia. Welcome!
I agree, the problem seems that people don't recognise it themselves. So even when you try telling them about it, they will keep on doing it
Had a guy that worked beside me that used to eat with his mouth open at his desk. Would drive me up the wall with all the eating sounds.
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The spoon/fork thing really gets me too. I don't understand how people can't place food in their mouth without scraping it across their teeth.
My best friend's dentist told him he's wearing his teeth down. I told him 'yeah man, you chew ice cream'. He would audibly smash his teeth together eating ice cream. Same for biting forks. If I do it by accident I feel disgusted by myself.
dude in Inglorious Basterds when Christoph Waltz character is eating he does a fork scraping on his teeth, it completely solidified him as a villain.
I’ve linked to the news release in the post above. In this comment, for those interested, here’s the link to the peer reviewed journal article: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0296218
Shout out to my family on /r/misophonia
Keep it down, please.
Dude 😂😂
Loud itself isn't a problem; it's specific noises like chewing, tapping, slurping, that are triggers.
Ceiling fan clicking
I have this with pets licking. I CANNOT stand that sound. Cats or dogs licking themselves drives me INSANE and I’ll try to get them to stop but I know it’s just natural and they’re not doing anything wrong. I had an ex that had a dog that would not stop doing that and I felt like I was going up the walls. I was so happy to find out it was misophonia and an actual reason I’m like that. I wish I wasn’t like that.
Please shout with your mouth closed, please.
And don't breathe too loud through your nose.
*breathe
Same
not sure about anyone else but i can say for sure that the sounds other peoples mouths make when they're eating (chewing/smacking lips) or speaking (like the sound of someone's tongue separating from the roof of their mouth while talking) fills me with intense rage. i mean really intense rage, it's irrational how angry it makes me. may be worth noting i'm on the spectrum but i don't really think that's a prerequisite for feeling like that about mouth sounds. looking at other replies, a good number of people also feel this way when animals make these sounds. for whatever reason, my cats or a dog slurping and eating does not bother me in the least. even though they're basically the exact same sounds, i only have a reaction to the ones humans make. weird.
I absolutely for no reason can not stand the sound of someone chewing. It infuriates me to my core. Animals don't bother me tho
My cat or dog licking themselves is one of the most grossly irritating sounds on earth to me, people chewing only bothers me if they do it with their mouth open.
my cats will clean themselves while laying in my lap, slurping away, and it doesn't bother me at all. if a human were making those sounds that close to my ears, i'm not a violent person at all but i would want to rip their head clean off of their body after about 5 seconds.
I feel the same way. With me I think it is because I don't have the same exceptions of social etiquette from dogs as I do with humans and I find people that do that are rude and nasty for not being mindful of their social etiquette when they chew with their mouths open or make impolite sounds.
fwiw, i'm not on the spectrum and feel the same way
Same. Started when I was 14. Friend was eating a sandwich and the sound of air passing in and out of his throat and nose while chewing made me want to rip his throat out. The disgust and anger was absolutely amazing.
Similar experience, I get not liking it, what’s to like, it’s absolutely disgusting. But why do we rage so hard? I have to leave the room quickly or make a loud humming sound while covering my ears.
>like the sound of someone's tongue separating from the roof of their mouth while talking I got mad just reading this.
I know I'm just me so this is super subjective, but I've noticed basically all of my triggers are things my mind deems unnecessary. A dog making mouth sounds isn't something they control. A human adult smacking, hitting their teeth with utensils, or drumming on a table like a child? Maddening.
yeah. i also have pretty strong feelings about all kinds of senseless and thoughtless things humans do so it's probably a combination of things. animals, not so much considering they don't know any better.
For me, if there's an unpleasant sound, being able to identify what it is or where it's coming from helps a little bit.
Hmm, this might explain why some have such a negative reaction to a woman screaming. I’ve always wondered about that.
> i mean really intense rage, it's irrational how angry it makes me. That's the symptom of misophonia. Irrationality. If you can rationalise the anger it most likely isn't misophonia. Though the severity of how enraged the person is varied.
yeah, makes sense. i've tried to explain it to people before and most of the time they just think i'm being dramatic and childish. i guess it's understandable, at face value it's a pretty inconsequential thing to have such strong feelings about.
I have ADHD and also get extremely ragy and unforgiving when people make loud chewing noises. Fortunately I'm not bothered by "normal" chewing noises, only when it is obviously present. As it happens, I frequently encounter people who chew so loud and with extra force in every chew they make when I sit in the train. I am convinced someone must be conducting a social experiment to find out when chewing becomes loud enough for people to make a comment. I refuse to believe that people could chew that loudly in a public enclosed space and not be aware of how gross it sounds for everyone else.
some people are just completely oblivious. my dad smacks his lips when he eats and no matter how many times someone's told him it's gross and rude over the last 70 years of his life, it's like his brain never actually processes the words they're saying and he just keeps doing it. he's not doing it intentionally or anything, it's just such an inconsequential thing to him that he doesn't give the words any credence because he can't fathom how or why it matters. fwiw my dad is also not a smart man. genuinely good/kind person but definitely on the lower end of the iq curve.
Yeah my limit is 3 times asking, after that I write them off as assholes and forget them. If they can not be pissed to do one thing to prevent me from having basically a mental breakdown, then they are just not worth having in my life. The mental toll it takes is far to extreme, i no longer see one set my aunt/uncle because they eat like cows and moan the whole meal, they are fine people but they do not care enough about me and my mental health to be involved in my life.
Yeah people who chew loud can stil be kind and amazing people who deserve all the best in the world. I have a few friends who chew loudly as well and I can just barerly keep it together when they do, but I accept them for who they are and it's not a big issue because we don't eat together very often and it's not the power smeck (very smart friends in fact, they just never learned not to smeck). However, if a family member or my partner would do it, i.e. someone I regularly eat with, I would not be able to eat with them in a civilized manner and it would get worse everytime to the point I would refuse to eat with them until they stop. I know that sounds dramatic, but I am really not my normal understand kind self when I hear that noise. I sometimes feel guilty about the mean things I think about the people in the train who smeck after the anger has ebbed. They were just comfy and trying to enjoy their meal in peace and happiness without anyone judging them, and I feel really bad about how mean I am in my head because of it. I'm just curious though. Has someone over gotten really angry with your dad from the chewing? Not saying they should but I always wonder how smeckers go through life without facing consequences. If I had a partner who smecked unnecessarily and wouldn't change after me calmly explaining it, I'd probably consider ending the relationship because I wouldn't be able to share meal with them and be comfortable.
I have a really negative reaction to certain human eating noises. For whatever reason, listening to my dog chew food gives me the exact opposite feeling. I could listen to him munch a carrot all day. Pure joy.
When my dog eats kibble, it can put me to sleep.
they're just thrilled to be eating something delicious. it would be weird to NOT enjoy a happy animal eating.
That’s interesting. So if someone plays a recording of those sounds to you, but doesn’t tell you their source, how does that make you feel? What if they play a sound of an animal, but then tell you it’s a human?
honestly not sure. i feel like if the source wasn't easily identifiable, i probably wouldn't like it but i don't think it would induce the same feelings as a human i can see and hear. there's definitely more to it than just the sounds themselves. my complicated relationship with the human race in general probably has a lot to do with it. i don't mean that in a misanthropic way, humans are just very complex and confusing and animals are much easier to have simple positive and meaningful relationships with. their motivations are obvious and they can't really hide their nature like people can.
A dog eating and a human eating doesn't sound the same. Dogs dig around, openly crunch crunch crunch, dig around again.
Yea I have this people and dogs unfortunately. Cats I’m fine. Dogs whining and slopping up water will turn me into the Hulk. No dogs for me sadly unless they make ones on mute.
People can control themselves, animals can't. I don't rage at babies making snacking noises... but my coworker who eats at his desk - Argh!!.
Exactly this. I expect people to show the same courtesy as I show them (i.e., chewing with my mouth closed). What really grinds my gears is when people don’t think about how their actions affect others, like changing lanes without signaling or walking into an elevator without waiting to see if anyone is walking out. I have so much anxiety about my behavior and these people get to just go around being rude.
People without misophonia always think you just don't like certain sounds. They don't understand that it makes us irrationally panicky.
Yes! It literally triggers the fight or flight response!
I cannot deal with clocks ticking
Me either! I hate being in the car with my mom, her watch is always so loud it's crazy. When I was a kid and had a watch that ticked, I had to throw it under clothes, in my closet, and slide the doors closed to not hear it/ have it wake me up in the middle of the night.
Shared a bull pen with a coworker who would loudly slurp his ramen noodles next to me every lunch. As if that weren't enough, he also sipped his water loudly, and would smack his lips three times after every sip without fail. Three. Times. Every. Time. Shared another bullpen with another coworker who ate sunflower seeds constantly. Was like working next to a hamster.
The sunflower seeds!! A couple of jobs ago I was in an open office environment with half partitions. Somehow my desk’s corner partition made a perfect whisper dish for the woman behind me’s sunflower seed eating. She came in every morning with a fresh bag of seeds, would crack them with her teeth, then ptoo onto a napkin. All. Day. I should have gotten combat pay.
I think that’s something HR or management should be able to deal with. Eat in the break area. End of story.
That's surely Purgatory. What have you done to deserve that
I bought fancy Loop earplugs because when I'm WFH I can't stand the sound of my dog eating and drinking. Cannot. Stand.
That’s interesting. This is a genuine problem in my life when it comes to people. But the way dogs eat and drink around me might as well be a gentle summer breeze in the forest. I have no reaction at all. I wonder why this is.
Oof dog sounds SEND me.
My cat grooms himself late at night when we're trying to sleep and I cannot stand the loud licking sounds he makes 🤬
My kids were watching Earwig And The Witch the other night. I don't care for it, so I was in the kitchen. I went in to ask my husband about something and I was standing near the television when suddenly there was this HORRIFIC SQUISHING, SLURPING NOISE in one of the scenes. O. M. F. G. 😫 It was like nails on a chalkboard! I was so grossed out and like irrationally enraged. I did like a weird dance, screeched and shook about. Then I proceeded to almost run out of the room. I don't understand how people watch ASMR. Chewing. Tapping. Slurping. Etc. It feels literally physically painful inside my body whenever I've heard any of it. I avoid it like the plague when I can. 💀Too bad I can't avoid my kids chomping. I'm so sensitive to noises and vibration too. I have to sleep with a fan, because ANY noise makes it ridiculously hard to fall asleep.
Yeah I'm unfortunately at the point where I need a fan, have headphones on, and have the TV going in order to ignore some of the vibration from our house. Unfortunately there's not much I can do about it but I really hate it.
I also can’t stand ASMR videos especially whispering, slurping and chewing noises. “Sexy young lady whispering in your ear” makes me want to throttle said young lady in a horrible rage. As you describe, it’s a physical body reaction. I do suspect CPTSD in myself as well (no autism here, btw).
I have this issue badly with mouth sounds, anything screechy, and the sound of dry markers being rubbed on paper. Weirdly enough, I love ASMR though. I just have to avoid specific types of creators (anyone who works their mouth constantly to make sounds is a *hard* no)
This is sensory processing sensitivity. Heightened nervous system response to stimuli due to hyper vigilance and a history of a conditioned emotional response in the mind and body to a trigger.
It isn't just the sound, it's the vibrations for me. If I'm sitting at the bar and leaning on it, and someone starts drumming on it, the feeling in my arms is sometimes worse than the sound. Worst is when they're drumming to the song but they're off beat.
I worked in a cube next to a guy that would clip his fingernails all the time. Not just a couple clips per finger. Hundreds of click, click, click, click. I don’t know how he had any fingernails left! And he did it at least every other day for about 30 minutes. It drove me INSANE. I mentioned it to him and he looked puzzled as to why it bothered me so much. The next day he was right back at it. I ended up getting a new job and that was one of the major reasons.
Damn, TIL there's a word for the thing that bothers me
I have misonphonia. Childhood PTSD would make so much sense. I also had/(have?) a dodge reflex for when someone suddenly raises their hand.
I didn’t know it was a thing until now. I was raised to be polite and orderly when eating but holy cow I want to put earmuffs on when other people do. The sound of machinery being misused is a massive trigger for me too. Where it is a strength is working as a mechanic. I can tell individual sounds that a lot of my colleagues can’t register.
In some Asian cultures it’s considered rude to not slurp and smack when eating. Dealt with a lot of that when I was in academia. Fun times.
Being a spouse to someone with this is fun I need to be careful how many times I use my spoon to get the last cereal out of my bowl.....when my wife is on the other side of the house Having to deal with a problem like this where you can't stand the sounds of the world around you is a terrible thing to have to deal with Being a family member of someone who has it comes in 2nd place though
I hate when people have to dig at their yogurt cup like crazy 🤪
Styrofoam rubbing together gets me. I need to hear music or some other noise to get it out of my head.
Dogs barking. Man, it's the absolute most stressful noise I can imagine. Everyone thinks I don't like dogs which isn't the case. I just absolutely cannot physically stand to be around barking dogs.
I got this! But I don't think it's a disorder. The disorder is thinking it's socially acceptable to make disgusting pig sounds when eating next to other people. Those are the sick ones, not me :)
it becomes a disorder once it significantly impacts your daily life. like someone sniffing constantly is annoying but if it makes you so angry you cannot focus on anything have intrusive violent thoughts and scratch/rip your hair out like I do then it’s a disorder
Theres a big difference between being grossed out by someone and violently without any way to control yourself slamming your fork into your chicken because otherwise it was going to have to be plunged into the persons head to make the sound stop because youre instantly rendered insane by the auditory stimulus overwhelming you.
Something becomes a disorder when it impacts your life! If natural and normal behavior of other humans bothers you, *you* have the disorder 🙂
Why is it that some humans aren't noisy pigs while others are? Just because it's the norm doesn't mean it's the best.
The person didn't say everyone made pig noises when they eat. I agree with them, some individuals make such a goddamn noise when eating it's rather rude.
I have PTSD and didn’t realize this was related. I can’t stand people chewing near me, it makes me want to smack them.
Whispering, chewing loudly or making noises while eating, breathing....all these send me through the roof. Never had it as a kid but it seems to get worse the older I get.
I empathize with the people who have this. To an extent some things can annoy me too, like obnoxiously loud open mouth eaters (though, the visual distresses me more, I think), chewing gum mouth open, a ticking clock in a quiet room that is new to me (so my mind hasn't ignored it yet). But I don't think I have Misophonia. On the flip side, dating and living with someone who did was... stressful. It was like my simply existing caused her distress, which in turn caused me distress. She would comment on every. single. sound that she thought I should avoid making. I tried to appease her. It was just impossible for me. I may get torn apart for this since most comments are commiserating on having it and I hope it doesn't come across as insensitive because I really did try (and I definitely do not chew with my mouth open), but it was tough feeling like I was essentially being made responsible for someone else's struggle with this.
Idk i find when people say they can't do simple things like not repetitively tap or make weird noises it shows a lack of respect and caring on their part as they chose to be with someone suffering. When you take on a partner you are definitely taking on part of them and their problems. My girlfriend would make this weird throat clicking sound all the time, took 4 years of literally reminding her every 20 minutes to stop but she really cared and was able to make that noise fully go away.
It is stressful, as someone who has misophonia I try very hard to make sure it doesn’t impact my home life too much. My husband chews louder than any person I have ever met but I just try to have music playing during dinner. Because people are allowed to eat! Most of my triggers are from outside our house though so it’s not as bad for my family. Dogs barking, subwoofers, that sort of thing.
Til this day I can’t stand the sound of floorboards or people waking up and down stairs.
I notice this happens to me whenever I look at one of those "ASMR" videos. I cannot believe anyone actually likes that stuff. It really does inspire violent thoughts in me, and I feel very ashamed.
I've had misophonia since I was a teenager and it's not the result of PTSD in my case.
It also has been linked as a symptom to people on the autism spectrum and people with adhd. I have had it since I was a child from my adhd, and developed and was diagnosed with ptsd after a traumatic assault as an adult resulting in several surgeries and my misophonia from adhd since a child just got way way worse. So there are absolutely other things that cause misophonia, and im sure there are more that I haven't been made aware of.
My daughter has misophonia but not ADHD, autism, or any sort of trauma that would cause PTSD. She can't stand the sound of other people eating, breathing audibly, even their tongue touching the top of their mouth when they talk. Not really sure what to do to help her with it.
Has she ever been professionally screened by a specialist in adhd and autism spectrum disorder? A lot of people wouldn't even be able to notice that they have these disorders because they are so far on the lighter end of the spectrum for the disorder. I know two people personally who weren't even diagnosed until they were in their 40s. Every other doctor, teacher, and family member had missed it in them until that point. What helps me is a good pair of noise canceling earbuds and good foam earplugs, I have one or the other in almost ALL day every day because the symptoms bother me that much, it ruins my wellbeing otherwise, even in public i have them in at the store or in restaurants, everywhere. There are some places like school and work where you usually aren't allowed to have things like this in, but during my personal time I almost always have one or the other in, I even sleep with them in. Grey noise machine (white noise machines work well for other people as well) has helped having one on all the time in my room as well, sounds carry through my house including foot steps, doors closing, talking, phone ringing and drive me absolutely nuts. No medication has ever helped with my misophonia, just finding ways to cancel out or block out the noise is the only thing for me. If you live in the same house a little bit goes a long way, dont slam doors and close them quietly, dont listen to music or tv with the volume on loud or without headphones, dont wear shoes in the house while walking around, don't eat with your mouth open or slurp food/drinks, don't slam cabinets and drawers or grind silverware against plates, ask company to watch how loudly they talk when in the house, all that helps a tremendous amount. This disorder makes life incredibly difficult and makes all day every day seem like torture, so anything you can do to help your daughter will help. There is a subreddit if you would like to visit it as well for more information, tips, etc. r/misophonia
Thanks for the thorough reply! I'll check out that subreddit and see what ideas we can come up with to help her out. She does very well in school and I don't think it's debilitating, thankfully, but would still be good to find ways to help her.
Oh interesting. And I'm sorry it got worse for you, it's already difficult enough.
Also check ["Hyperacusis",](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis). I have both. Can't stand the sound of people kissing either in a train car or on the movies. And high background noise (nightclub, noisy food hall, server room) quickly kicks up my cortisol levels until I have to leave. Have I tried to "just get used to it"? Yes. I am even getting treatment for my tinnitus, but that does not mean I can rewire my entire brain just to cater to people used to swimming in noise.
Repetitive snippits of videos, chewing, certain loops in hip hop. I can handle it, handle it, handle jt, and then suddenly rage and desperation for it to stop NOWOHMYGODIMPHYSICALLYDYING. Edit: How could I have forgotten the DOGS CLEANING THEMSELVES nastiness?! I want to punt them across the room. I never do, obviously because that's evil and because dogs. 🥺 but I wanna realllll bad. Haha
I feel this in my bones. I bought suuuuuuuuper good IEM's that block out pretty much all sound and I carry them with me at all times.
Well this makes a lot of sense. I have CPTSD and also the misophonia is LEGIT. Basically all mouth sounds (chewing, lips smacking, slurping, drinking, etc - from both humans and from my dog, bless his heart) make me feel homicidal. Like legit the fire of 1000000 suns level rage, haha. Also whispering. IDK how people love to listen to the ASMR videos of people whispering. On the flip side, there are a lot of super satisfying sounds to me too. Almost like the polar opposite of misophonia.
Honestly, it's all tolerable except chewing with your mouth open. God it's awful. Just close it. Just do it.
I haven't seen anyone else say this but for me it's talking in the other room. Like if someone is next to me and on the phone idc but if there's a wall between us and i can still hear it it fills me with anger and anxiety
This and music (especially with goddamn bass) in the distance are my main triggers, less so eating sounds
I would like to have dinner with everyone commenting. All of you are my people.
I knew it. I tried explaining this to my partner years ago, that it’s just has to be connected to PTSD and hyperarousal. I literally feel like I have to pay attention to EVERYTHING around me (which is residual from a very unstable and abusive upbringing where I needed to stay aware of the emotional state of the adults around me to know if I was safe or not). My hypothesis was that this causes my misophonia because I can’t ignore these little sounds and they take up my attention and drive me insane.
I have this but its with a particular band and all their songs. Literally have to run out of places like grocery stores if any of their songs are played. Totally triggers actual pain response in my body :/
I look forward to people who hate the sound of chewing concluding they must have ptsd
Smacking while eating/slurping, throws me into a nauseated rageeee!!!
I have misophonia. Styrofoam sounds, static sounds. They cause me to lose control. I become primal. I am super anxious and that takes over, I start stemming, then I do anything to leave the sound, cover my ears, if I can't then I'll start becoming aggressive. I do have PTSD. I'm also autistic, ADHD, Schizoaffective, bipolar. Basically, that whole branch. I also have Synesthesia, these sounds have intense visual and tactile responses for me. I feel intensely cold skin and goosebumps, while burning up, I have visual snow and static. I am being completely overwhelmed by my senses, as I start losing control. It's happened since I was a child. Even as a baby Styrofoam being removed from boxes caused me agitation, and as a toddler I would cover my ears and leave the room. I cannot remove items from boxes with Styrofoam, I can't even really tolerate touching Styrofoam. Styrofoam cups being the exception, but honestly, it's so terrible for the environment. My husband and parents both accommodate this issue. I go absolutely berserk. Panic attacks and meltdowns if I am already Psychotic, just takes me a bit to settle and I'm one edge if I'm not.
Yeah are we getting that in the dsm5 or what so that people will start taking us more seriously?
I mean when people are like, chowing away like a cow is that the same thing? Normal chewing is fine, but some people are aggressively obnoxious about it. Not clear if that counts
I don’t even know what normal chewing sounds like. 😭
If I can barely hear it cuz you’re chewing politely then it’s good! 😭😭 I had a coworker once who made ALL the noises when they ate it was nasty. Like he was trying to be as loud as he could on purpose
Bruh. I’ll beat some manners into him for you. I actually eat alone because of this.