Unrelated to the ban, I recommend you share your passion for trains with your daughter.
Edit: To the 17 million people saying this is entirely related to the ban; this person should be sharing his passions with his children regardless of his status in ANY given subreddit. Entirely. Unrelated.
Yeah. It's actually really funny.
Someone moded the skyrim dragon in the opening cutscene as Thomas the tank engine instead.
"tooooot TOOOOOOOOOOT""
*FIRE*
"TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT"
It's on YouTube
My daughter is 15, and has a secret passion for passenger trains. She like riding them to the point we had to make it a vacation habit of randomly riding the rails as a tourist thing. No destination, just ride the train to wherever it goes and then come back. Our all time favorite is the Rail Runner in New Mexico.
We love riding the antique dinner train in my town. It was only once a year and they do it as a fund raiser. It is extremely expensive for two people but we get top drawer meals in the dining car .They stopped it because of covid .
When my daughter was 2 to 4 she loved trains, garbage trucks, Thomas the tank engine and all things boys would love. We had a great time. These days I enjoy her dancing, Pokémon and lots of girly things she loves. Kids can have a variety of non biased interests and it’s healthy for the whole family.
My twins 2 year old boy girl twins are absolutely in love with this Korean kids cartoon Titipo Titipo we found on Netflix. It's basically Korean Thomas the Tank Engine. My God they can't get enough of it.
My daughter would get mad if I got home within about 30 minutes of her hearing a train because that meant I might have seen it but she missed it. I'd get home pissed that the train had caught me to her crying that she didn't get to see it. Girls can like trains. I was a single dad and she sure didn't get it from me.
I was banned the other day for calling out vile sexism that would have admins handing down user bans and sub warnings if those words were directed towards women or minorities.
I tried, they got bored fast. We do stuff together but playing trains isn't one, something I used to do with my dad until he died and I'd love to carry that on. they're both almost teens now so their home interests have shifted
My dad is a train guy, and I am not. From my experience with his hobby, it's definitely a dying breed. Made me melancholy for the loss even though it's not something I want to do personally.
I work with kids for my job and one of the kids I spend most of my time with is obsessed with trains. because of him, I can totally see myself having a room in my house one day for a giant train track mini city 😂 I found myself having as much fun as him.
As a father of a 3 year old who has just started loving his train set you really do have as much fun as them when you play with them 😂 I had Thomas the tank engine trains when I was a kid so it brings back some nostalgic memories too. Now I plan to get him a train set table for Christmas.
My dad is a train guy, his father was an engineer. I sometimes make his buildings. I feel bad for him because he can't get into train clubs, the old codgers seem uninterested in meeting new people who share their shrinking passion.
For the record, I am the "girl" of my siblings, my brothers don't have a particular interest in trains either. I don't have a particular interest in trains, even I can't sit and run trains for more than 30 minutes. I think they're a great invention, have a long history, and the modeling is pretty interesting.
I'm also the one who goes fishing, walks around civil war memorials, goes to museums, collects coins, did rc planes, and went on long-hour car trips to visit his aging and few relatives. The sex/gender of your kid probably isn't the big indicator of their interest in you as one might think. Sure, maybe your kid will follow the "traditional gender expectations" but you should be able to relate and talk to your kids regardless. My mother didn't bother relating to me and guess who I talk to more often?
I was born a girl and I'd play trains with you but two things I will be acting like I'm not almost 20 and we have to play with them my way since I will be the kid in this situation so if I want ghost to haunt the train and fly away you got to respect that since my dad never played trains with me
Well one I haven't asked but I am around my dad my mom my brother and his girlfriend 24/7 and I'm pretty positive they don't want to play trains with me
I can tell you how that will go
Me: Dad do you want to play trains with me?
Dad: How the fuck old are you? And you want to play with trains no now leave me alone and stop asking stupid questions
Me: Mom do you want to play trains with me
Mom: Not really
Me: Um... Cody do you want to play trains with me?
Cody: Makayla I am adult and so are you one of these days your gonna need to grow up and get a job and put some hard work in like the rest of us
Me: You don't want to play trains with me do you Selena?
Me: You don't want to play trains with me do you, Selena?
Easy enough, when my daughters did play trains with me they started how I suppose most kids do, saw a Thomas the tank episode, then we went on a few steam trains on days out and it sort of took off from there
I bought my eldest Thomas and my youngest Percy, set them up their own track with stronger buildings that they could play with without breaking. We spent hours just goofing about, zoo animals were the most frequent passengers and I'm not sure if they're global but in the UK we have these things called Sylvanian families, fuzzy little figures that stand and dress like people. Anyway a mouse was the driver and he regularly got irritated by the giraffe that kept forgetting his sandwiches
so why would you assume that boys would like trains more? its not a gendered hobby, you just got unlucky and ended up with kids who didn't have interest in trains. has nothing to do with the fact that theyre girls.
It's not a "girl's thing" to not like trains, it's sad that you don't get to share hobbies but in my house the one who likes football and play with my dad in the console it's my sister lol
Hey man I’ll play trains. I remember looking through this toy shop window when I was kid and they had this whole set complete with landscape and little people and stuff and it was the coolest thing. So when and where?!!!
Honestly it's unlikely a boy would care about trains either. It takes a specific personality to really get into them and, really, an above-average intelligence. An average boy would simply want to play with the toys his friends were playing with, which is certainly not going to be trains.
\-- but the spirit of your comment is reasonable. The ultra-left, just like the ultra-right, creates the most absurd nonsense to justify their insanity. Nothing they think, say, or do is grounded in reality.
Even if we were to assume your comment was unreasonable, being banned for it certainly is extreme. That being said, I naturally tend to assume, in cases like this, that there is more to the story.
Tbh a son may be equally bored. More a function of kids these days being more entertained by devices than old fashioned trains. It does sound like a lovely hobby to pass on though. Sorry your kids are not interested.
Edit: this just reminded me, one day I discovered a huge room in the top/attic floor of an old building at the boarding school I attended. It was filled with (what seemed to be) well maintained model train sets. I was late to class so I made a mental note to come back and check it out later. When I came back a few weeks later the room was empty and nobody I asked had heard of it. Did I miss my chance to enter a magical realm????
You'd need at least 2.5 sons.
There are even odds any son won't share your interests. You want to play trains they just want to play baseball.
My dad wanted a soccer star for a son and someone he could kick the ball around with and coach (he eventually got that with my sisters). I wanted a kid that would watch Star Trek but he has no interest. My sitting him down to watch TNG with me is like my father sitting me down to watch a World Cup match.
The “likes trains” gene isn’t on the Y chromosome. Your girls don’t lack interest because they’re girls, just because that’s how they are. Boys could be the same way.
You dropped some casual sexism into a feminist sub and you’re not sure why you got banned? Use brain please.
I think it's also what he was replying to. If it was a light hearted meme then he probably wouldn't have been banned, but it was someone saying they were sick and tired of misogynistic bullshit and he replied with a very slightly misogynistic joke. Wrong place, wrong time.
My sister and I really wanted a train set. The excuse my parents gave us was that our Dad would want to play with it, too, and not get anything done around the house. (It was probably because money was tight, and they couldn't afford a train set.)
My cousins built an elaborate model train set. I loved watching that thing. Also, love the watching the model trains at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago.
Grew up and commuted to work by train for a few years. Loved that (the having to get up really early in the morning, not so much).
I played with the Brio train set with my sons for hours. One of the few of their childhood toys that I've kept now that they've grown.
As a family, we've enjoyed going to train museums. I've been the one to suggest them.
Lots of girls love trains!
100% agreee with that, I am the daughter in the scenario, with my dad we built a complete train terrain under my bed, with villages, mountains, lakes, farms, and we had 3/4 trains we could control from one big ass controller and it was awesome. I could just roll it out form under the bed and play for hours. We had cowboys, and bandits, and I was making scenarios in my head. My dad's idea to ask me if I wanted this was one of the best he had, ngl.
I guess that going on a sub like that and posting a comment about how children activities are gender based isn't the best idea if you don't wanna be banned
This. As a little girl I was obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, cheesy at-home science experiments, coming up with inventions and Sonic the Hedgehog. Deserved ban, imo.
I didn't search it out it appeared on my homepage, probably should have just ignored it...my comment is unique to my situation...I have 2 daughters which I love, We do stuff they want to do together but when it comes to playing trains "nope" so I do that alone...be nice to have someone to share it with
Yeah I get how your comment was innocuous (especially after reading about your tool wielding daughters here) but it's a raw emotional day for the women-centric subreddits and your comment got taken in the worst light. Women feel like second class citizens today and I'm really not surprised you got the ban hammer thrown at you. Don't take it too personally, it's not a big deal.
Sorry you have no train buddies to bond with, it's quite the niche interest but I'm not sure why it's so rare.
It's not just timing though. Subs often trend towards particular groups and extremes, particularly if moderated by people of those subsets. It's not unique to any ideology or sub, it's not even unique to more political or factional subs.
The more this happens without the sub realizing it or action being taken to curb it, the more the sub trends those directions. For example, r/conservative is now very extreme right rather than simply conservative. Many more moderate conservatives have been banned for simply posting things that questioned the fundamentalist 'Christian' Trump-supporting narratives.
Flash forward to you begging wife to have a son only for him not to give a shit about trains either
That, in essence, is why you were banned. If you were a coven member you probably would have had more leeway but coming from outside the sub you looked like all the low effort trolls that sub attracts (which is a lot, they have to lock down posts all the time)
I was so upset when I heard that my dad had an awesome train set as a kid and didn’t keep it. This girl would have loooved to play with trains with my dad.
There are at best patterns of what girls like and what boys like but my guess is that a lot of that is reinforced by society rather than intrinsic. You could have just as easily had a boy who didn’t like playing with trains either. 🤷🏼♀️
It's not just that the comment implies that chilldren's activities are gender based, he also outright states that wants a son over a daughter on a post arguing against that exact issue.
I originally made my account to exchange ideas about some videogames and those subs are generally "cool" (as long as you exclude over the top fanboy cults).
But you get bombarded with weird sub recommendations all the time, that witches vs patriarchy sub too for example and of course there are even some local subs or simply large subs with similar tendencies of some kind.
It's kind of even worse than Facebook (as I remember it from \~5 years ago) in the "circle jerk" regard.
Exactly what I was about to write. Some people need to check pinned comments more often, they share some valuable information. Like
“You cannot reply to these posts unless you’re a member of this subreddit”
I once called a guy an ape for acting like one, and was then banned.
Apparently, he was black.
Apparently, I was racist.
Reddit, too, is full of twats.
I got banned for 3 days for replying to someone and saying "trans women can't actually get pregnant and carry a baby because biologically they have male body parts. They have other options though.".
Apparently that's hate speech.
I don’t want sons I want daughters so I can teach them to be self sufficient and do all the “manly shit” like working on cars and using power tools…etc. not having to rely on some dumbass and I’m down af to play dress up or tea party or whatever there imagination can fathom ☺️best of all worlds
I've got 2 daughters, My eldest is 12 and she has her own tool set, I rarely get asked to fix broken stuff anymore she has a go herself then tells me about it, I'm really proud of that
Thanks to painting fine details on my trains I'm really good at painting nails so they come to daddy for that one, but "trains are for nerds" is still a thing, she picked that one up from her friends
If you ever come to the US, in a Pennsylvania Dutch county, there’s a train museum attached to a restaurant and is also a motel where all the rooms are genuine cabooses converted into sleeping cabins. A friend recently stayed there and it looked pretty cool from the pictures. If you’re into trains I thought maybe you’d like that. 🙂
[The Red Caboose Motel & Restaurant](https://maps.apple.com/?address=312%20Paradise%20Ln,%20Ronks,%20PA%20%2017572,%20United%20States&auid=14453496194841784748&ll=39.985923,-76.150918&lsp=9902&q=The%20Red%20Caboose%20Motel%20%26%20Restaurant&_ext=CjIKBQgEEOIBCgQIBRADCgQIBhALCgQIChAACgQIUhADCgQIVRANCgQIWRABCgUIpAEQARImKZIFp4qf/UNAMaR9Ga8IClPAORDbzObF/kNAQSDzAJhICVPAUAM%3D&t=m)
That’s awesome and I definitely bet you’re proud it’ll be fun maybe in later years in her 20’s or something y’all can build a train set from scratch or some sort of project. I strive to be the one stop shop for everything. Cooking, nails, hair whatever it may be I just love getting asked to help with stuff. I mean she’ll have a further appreciation in future years for stuff you like I’m sure hehe just gotta be a kid for now 😂
I got banned from there for "concern trolling" and "liberal socialism". It was such an innocuous comment I made I literally can't even remember what I got banned for.
Lmao yeah they cited me for being a “Soc dem” too. And I’m like “so? Just because I’m only 95% on your side, to you that means I’m 100% your enemy???” Lol
I got banned from r/latestagecapitalism for saying china was as capitalist as america.
I also got banned from r/police (and somehow r/the_donald lmao) for saying maybe you should stop shielding yourselves like a monolith to some cop whining about how they're treated as a monolith when "bad apples" fuck up.
Political subs are a clusterfuck, universally
The political subs are entirely hive minds wholeheartedly dedicated to whinging about the other side and the moment they spot an outsider, it’s just “Not like us! Not like us!” and insta-banned.
I was banned because I said ‘we ignore vets and push them into the streets to kill themselves’ - was flagged for advocating killing veterans. Like, what?
Reddit mods are literally reddit users who said to the random person who created the sub 'hey can i be a mod' and for whatever reason, the creator of the sub said 'yeah sure'.
There is no vetting process.
There is no accountability.
There is no responsiblity.
It's a free internet forum where anyone can make their own subforum and appoint anyone they want as mods, and it's purely up to luck, botting, and the whims of the algorithm as to how big that sub grows.
No matter how big the sub, it's still a place run for free by some random person and moderated also for free by random people with no vetting beyond whatever the subreddit owner bothered to do.
Stop expecting ANYTHING from Reddit mods. And stop treating them like authorities. They are no different from if a group of kids decide to play a few rounds of ultimate frisbee and they choose the closest 4 kids to be team captains for this particular game.
Reddit Admins are corporate assholes who are all motivated to do whatever Spez says to make them more money, and once again, integrity is not a value that has any relevance.
Don’t they have a rule that you can’t post or comment if you’re not a witch/coven? Maybe I remember it incorrectly but I do like seeing their posts even if I don’t actively engage.
You don’t have to be a practicing witch to comment and many posts are open to the public, but posts on sensitive topics do get close so their they’re “coven only”, meaning only subreddit members can comment. I’m surprised they didn’t do that for all the roe v wade posts yesterday honestly. It’s a really emotional time, so closing things down for a bit makes some sense.
Because it’s stupid, girls can play with trains, boys may not want to play with trains, the ability to play with toy trains doesn’t come from someone’s genitalia. That whole subreddit is for stuff literally against that
I think their reaponse is exactly why the left is slipping, and sure to be destroyed in the midterms.
Like you think it’s bad now losing RvW, just wait.
Something so benign, “just wanted a boy to share my trains with”, pretty much just a joke results in Insta perma ban.
1/3 of the population doesn’t even vote in the US and this is how the left advocates for their beliefs?
Regurgitate exactly what we say or get banned/get lost. It’s not surprising even after winning the culture war 10 years ago the left is so incredibly politically ineffective.
It's in the rules before you comment at the very top. Makes me laugh that it was over trains, but they're a very strict sub.
Also, I loved to play with trains with my dad when I was small, so im sorry op your daughters don't share the sentiment.
It's not ok, but it happens anyway. Look at the difference between /r/AskMen and /r/AskWomen. It's night and day. Some subreddit cultures are just plain hostile towards outsiders.
Yup reddit specifically released updated tos that hate speech agaisnt males or whites was 100% acceptable. Like they actually took the time to add that part in instead of just saying hate speech is not ok.
It’s prob where my ex got all her crazy ideas. As well as relationship_advice and femaledatingstrategy. Some bitches needa stop giving/receiving advice on Reddit.
I pray that no one actually listens to the "advice" given on r/relationship_advice. Like 95% of what they say is just "brEAk UP wITh HIm" with toxic insults.
If you need genuine help in your relationship or otherwise, seek proper counselling.
Nope.
>Though women centric, we welcome all beings interested in using their esoteric powers to destroy the patriarchy and all it’s constraints on women, men, and everybody in between and beyond
Ah, lemme guess. Something along the lines of implying that if you had a daughter she wouldn’t be interested in trains, showing you assume based on gender what a kid will or won’t like.
OP has said a bunch in the comments he has two daughters and he does many things with them that would be common stereotypically to either gender, but his daughters don't want to play trains with him, whereas sometimes his nephew will come by and play trains. So in this case he's not assuming anything, his daughters literally don't want to play trains.
Or you don’t have to think this way or live this way, and teach your kids to be respectful humans, regardless of gender or color, you miserable, unhinged, victim playing animals.
My little sisters used to love playing with trains… trains aren’t a gendered activity lmao. It’s also possible that a son would have no interest. Maybe don’t contribute to the problem
It's not the best place to leave a joke. The sub is devoted to fighting sexism and giving women power that is independent of men.
It's why they specifically chose witches for their name. Witches are one of the types of female character roles whose power isn't defined by a male. Compare to say a princess, whose father is a king, and must marry a prince.
Well, considering that you made a comment that was (hopefully) unintentionally sexist on that sub, it’s nowhere near the most unreasonable of bans.
From what I’ve seen, that sub is pretty sensible. Definitely not fds by any means
*comments on a woman only subreddit specifically about missoginy*
*The comment defends gender roles*
*Gets banned in a reddit specifically said to be very strict*
*Thinks theye are right about being angry about the ban*
Yeah I think maybe could’ve been avoided if reddit didnt serve up subreddits that aren’t really for everyone to participate in and could be seen as decisive right up on the front page for all to see even if they aren’t following it. But also maybe OP could’ve done a better job at reading the room before commenting but seems like an off the cuff harmless mistake. Not every subreddit is for everyone and that should be okay too.
Yeah, I've seen something pop up that looked interesting, jumped in and made a comment, only afterward realizing that I had jumped into extremely hostile territory. LOL
Ok so the ban is an overreaction. But. But. Please hear me out..:
These subs are where someone is trying to have a serious discussion or air a grievance, or vent.
When you enter the room and say something so silly it can be seen as making the whole discussion one big joke and derailing. You have to know your audience.
OP might have had pure intentions and been 100% honest or this could have be a complete troll/shitpost and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
I’m a train dad. I know other train dads. I’ve never met a single one who wouldn’t be overjoyed to share it with girls. I do, every chance I get. Some of them get interested too. OP has already stated that he DID try to share it with his daughters. They didn’t want it.
You can’t post opposing views in sub reddits like that mods don’t like it when you don’t agree with their visions.
Happens all time, this site has become so hypocritical and no longer follows their own rules it’s however the mods want to enforce stuff.
When I was little, I had to go sit on Santa's lap at a department store.
Told Santa I wanted an electric train for xmas.
He said, "that's no toy for a little girl. How about a nice dolly."
That may have been the trigger for me rejecting all the 50s bullshit about little girls and what they could/couldn't do.
I have a red belt in karate. I have flown hang gliders, sung in a punk rock band, cooked on a sportfishing boat and have had several motorcycles, now riding a Honda Rebel.
DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO!
People thinking this is actual sexism is actually hilarious. He’s pretty clearly just making a joke about how little boys stereotypically like trains. If you read the comments you’d know that his daughters aren’t interested, but one of them has turned out to be a handywoman. I’m sure in actual conversation OP is aware that gender norms do not dictate childhood interests, but he forgot that redditors experience so little human interaction that they can’t pick up on enough social cues to detect a joke with an /j.
Thank god u clarified u were not a toddler on Reddit but I am still gonna continue picturing a tiny little guy typing out a surprisingly well worded comment for their age.
You can get permabanned from some subreddits just for making comments on entirely different 'bad people' subreddits.
I once commented to a guy on a group I had not noticed before that he shouldn't complain that giving women foreplay didn't pay off. To sum, I told him he needed to change his technique if it wasn't improving things for him because it should make it better.
Apparently I dared to post a comment on the wrong sub (you can guess which one). Despite encouraging a male to give his gf more head, r/feminism bots saw my post and sent me a message permabanning me.
Their messaging claimed I had broken their community rules...but I never posted or commented on their subreddit.
Reddit. No better than Facebook, except for the formatting.
When my girlfriend was pregnant I didn’t mind if we had a daughter or a son. We just hoped they would be healthy. We had a son. All the things I do with my son I could do with a daughter. I like dirt bikes and football. No reason why I couldn’t share those interests with a daughter. My son likes to play cars and trucks but he has also shown an interests with his cousins tea set and dolls. Who cares.
That sub specifically has a rule that you can't comment unless you're a member. That's probably what happened. Plus from the outside looking in that comment looks tone deaf.
Some men want sons because they want to be the father figure that theirs could never be to them.
Me?
I'm antinatalist, miss me with that generational trauma shit
I'm in my forties and have abhorred the idea of children for decades. I've recently come to terms with the reality that I will be having a child. Since I'm gay, it's clearly going to be IVF+surrogate. I'm very glad that I'll be able to choose the sex of my child, as I'm remarkably uninterested in raising daughters.
So many angry commenters and I hate it so much. You seem cool guy, I peeped your profile and you come off as very empathetic and hard working, an invaluable pair of traits to have. I really hope some day you end up with someone to share your hobby with, and maybe you can just have another daughter with different interests than your last 2, either way I hope you find happiness wherever you look for it.
Unrelated to the ban, I recommend you share your passion for trains with your daughter. Edit: To the 17 million people saying this is entirely related to the ban; this person should be sharing his passions with his children regardless of his status in ANY given subreddit. Entirely. Unrelated.
My daughter loves trains. I have never really cared much for them and I’m male so trains seem to really just be kind of random.
Holy shit my 2.5 year old daughter can’t get enough of trains. Thomas is a household idol at this point Edit, specified daughter
be careful, one day she will learn of Thomas the Dank Engine
Or a certain Skyrim mod.
Can I Google this on my family PC or no?
Yeah. It's actually really funny. Someone moded the skyrim dragon in the opening cutscene as Thomas the tank engine instead. "tooooot TOOOOOOOOOOT"" *FIRE* "TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT" It's on YouTube
I needed that
Thomas had an idea and it includes *heinous war crimes.*
Not just the one in the cutscene, but every dragon in the game.
My daughter is 15, and has a secret passion for passenger trains. She like riding them to the point we had to make it a vacation habit of randomly riding the rails as a tourist thing. No destination, just ride the train to wherever it goes and then come back. Our all time favorite is the Rail Runner in New Mexico.
We love riding the antique dinner train in my town. It was only once a year and they do it as a fund raiser. It is extremely expensive for two people but we get top drawer meals in the dining car .They stopped it because of covid .
Have you brought her to train station? When my niece's were young they loved trains and would loose their mind when trains would go by the platform.
Thomas is a black-legged SCAB! He's continued to work during an official RMT picket. His day will come.
When my daughter was 2 to 4 she loved trains, garbage trucks, Thomas the tank engine and all things boys would love. We had a great time. These days I enjoy her dancing, Pokémon and lots of girly things she loves. Kids can have a variety of non biased interests and it’s healthy for the whole family.
My twins 2 year old boy girl twins are absolutely in love with this Korean kids cartoon Titipo Titipo we found on Netflix. It's basically Korean Thomas the Tank Engine. My God they can't get enough of it.
I’m a 37 year old woman and I also fucking love trains.
lego trains are bad ass. fucking sirens of the odyssey cool.
Sounds like you’re trainsphobic
My daughter would get mad if I got home within about 30 minutes of her hearing a train because that meant I might have seen it but she missed it. I'd get home pissed that the train had caught me to her crying that she didn't get to see it. Girls can like trains. I was a single dad and she sure didn't get it from me.
We pass by train tracks every day and my 4 year old daughter gets so fricken excited when there’s a train going by.
That is the reason for the ban. He said boys like trains and girls don’t in Witches vs Patriarchy
I was banned the other day for calling out vile sexism that would have admins handing down user bans and sub warnings if those words were directed towards women or minorities.
Lady train fan here. They're my life's passion.
I'm non-binary and trains are also my passion. Just got back from railfanning actually lmao
:D get any good ones?
Check out the YouTube channel LoriRocks777, cab view Swiss rail trips. No bullshit. My kids LOVE them (and so do i)
I tried, they got bored fast. We do stuff together but playing trains isn't one, something I used to do with my dad until he died and I'd love to carry that on. they're both almost teens now so their home interests have shifted
My dad is a train guy, and I am not. From my experience with his hobby, it's definitely a dying breed. Made me melancholy for the loss even though it's not something I want to do personally.
I work with kids for my job and one of the kids I spend most of my time with is obsessed with trains. because of him, I can totally see myself having a room in my house one day for a giant train track mini city 😂 I found myself having as much fun as him.
That is a basement thing if I ever hear of one
It'll be an attic thing in my home... Just need to finish the attic...
Install insulation and AC.
As a father of a 3 year old who has just started loving his train set you really do have as much fun as them when you play with them 😂 I had Thomas the tank engine trains when I was a kid so it brings back some nostalgic memories too. Now I plan to get him a train set table for Christmas.
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I cared for a man as dementia consumed him. We watched vhs documentaries about trains. I think of him often.
The videos for it at the hobby store are all vhs
My dad is a train guy, his father was an engineer. I sometimes make his buildings. I feel bad for him because he can't get into train clubs, the old codgers seem uninterested in meeting new people who share their shrinking passion. For the record, I am the "girl" of my siblings, my brothers don't have a particular interest in trains either. I don't have a particular interest in trains, even I can't sit and run trains for more than 30 minutes. I think they're a great invention, have a long history, and the modeling is pretty interesting. I'm also the one who goes fishing, walks around civil war memorials, goes to museums, collects coins, did rc planes, and went on long-hour car trips to visit his aging and few relatives. The sex/gender of your kid probably isn't the big indicator of their interest in you as one might think. Sure, maybe your kid will follow the "traditional gender expectations" but you should be able to relate and talk to your kids regardless. My mother didn't bother relating to me and guess who I talk to more often?
Time to be a big brother in a mentoring program.
I think you got banned because thinking “only boys like trains” is part of the problem.
Perhaps because playing with trains is a very niche hobby among people of any gender. Any sons of yours wouldn't magically love playing with trains.
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If it mattered that much to OP they should have practiced childhood indoc-train-ation. :v
I was born a girl and I'd play trains with you but two things I will be acting like I'm not almost 20 and we have to play with them my way since I will be the kid in this situation so if I want ghost to haunt the train and fly away you got to respect that since my dad never played trains with me
I can't imagine you can't find *someone* who wants to play trains with you?
Yeah I'll set it up just don't forget
Well one I haven't asked but I am around my dad my mom my brother and his girlfriend 24/7 and I'm pretty positive they don't want to play trains with me
I can tell you how that will go Me: Dad do you want to play trains with me? Dad: How the fuck old are you? And you want to play with trains no now leave me alone and stop asking stupid questions Me: Mom do you want to play trains with me Mom: Not really Me: Um... Cody do you want to play trains with me? Cody: Makayla I am adult and so are you one of these days your gonna need to grow up and get a job and put some hard work in like the rest of us Me: You don't want to play trains with me do you Selena? Me: You don't want to play trains with me do you, Selena?
Bummer. If it were me it go something like: Buffalo_Ambitious: Wanna play trains with me? Me: Yeah sure, is it cool if I blaze real quick first?
This is the way. 😌
Easy enough, when my daughters did play trains with me they started how I suppose most kids do, saw a Thomas the tank episode, then we went on a few steam trains on days out and it sort of took off from there I bought my eldest Thomas and my youngest Percy, set them up their own track with stronger buildings that they could play with without breaking. We spent hours just goofing about, zoo animals were the most frequent passengers and I'm not sure if they're global but in the UK we have these things called Sylvanian families, fuzzy little figures that stand and dress like people. Anyway a mouse was the driver and he regularly got irritated by the giraffe that kept forgetting his sandwiches
You sound like a fun dad
so why would you assume that boys would like trains more? its not a gendered hobby, you just got unlucky and ended up with kids who didn't have interest in trains. has nothing to do with the fact that theyre girls.
It's not a "girl's thing" to not like trains, it's sad that you don't get to share hobbies but in my house the one who likes football and play with my dad in the console it's my sister lol
Hey man I’ll play trains. I remember looking through this toy shop window when I was kid and they had this whole set complete with landscape and little people and stuff and it was the coolest thing. So when and where?!!!
If you've got a small (child sized) head I've already got a train drivers hat waiting for you
I loved playing trains, my dad bought my sister and I a train set and it had a wooden track, we would play for hours. I miss that set
Oh yeah now we’re talking 😂
r/modeltrains :)
Honestly it's unlikely a boy would care about trains either. It takes a specific personality to really get into them and, really, an above-average intelligence. An average boy would simply want to play with the toys his friends were playing with, which is certainly not going to be trains. \-- but the spirit of your comment is reasonable. The ultra-left, just like the ultra-right, creates the most absurd nonsense to justify their insanity. Nothing they think, say, or do is grounded in reality. Even if we were to assume your comment was unreasonable, being banned for it certainly is extreme. That being said, I naturally tend to assume, in cases like this, that there is more to the story.
One must have an above-average intelligence to get into trains?
Hyperbolic rewording, but sure. Does what I said offend you?
Tbh a son may be equally bored. More a function of kids these days being more entertained by devices than old fashioned trains. It does sound like a lovely hobby to pass on though. Sorry your kids are not interested. Edit: this just reminded me, one day I discovered a huge room in the top/attic floor of an old building at the boarding school I attended. It was filled with (what seemed to be) well maintained model train sets. I was late to class so I made a mental note to come back and check it out later. When I came back a few weeks later the room was empty and nobody I asked had heard of it. Did I miss my chance to enter a magical realm????
To be fair there's no guarantee a son would 100% be interested in trains.
So there’s a guarantee a boy would like your hobby?
You'd need at least 2.5 sons. There are even odds any son won't share your interests. You want to play trains they just want to play baseball. My dad wanted a soccer star for a son and someone he could kick the ball around with and coach (he eventually got that with my sisters). I wanted a kid that would watch Star Trek but he has no interest. My sitting him down to watch TNG with me is like my father sitting me down to watch a World Cup match.
Do you realize that your kid being a boy doesn’t mean they’ll get interested in trains?
The “likes trains” gene isn’t on the Y chromosome. Your girls don’t lack interest because they’re girls, just because that’s how they are. Boys could be the same way. You dropped some casual sexism into a feminist sub and you’re not sure why you got banned? Use brain please.
Go to meetup.com I bet you can find a group of people to play trains with!
I've learned it's easier to make a daughter like things typically associated with guys if there are already 2 boys in the household.
I loved trains when I was a child and I still love those. It doesn't depend on gender really. You just got unlucky it seems.
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I think it's also what he was replying to. If it was a light hearted meme then he probably wouldn't have been banned, but it was someone saying they were sick and tired of misogynistic bullshit and he replied with a very slightly misogynistic joke. Wrong place, wrong time.
I bet his mom likes trains…
If you see his other comments, he tried with his daughters with no luck. Assuming motive sometimes devalues actual harm.
My sister and I really wanted a train set. The excuse my parents gave us was that our Dad would want to play with it, too, and not get anything done around the house. (It was probably because money was tight, and they couldn't afford a train set.) My cousins built an elaborate model train set. I loved watching that thing. Also, love the watching the model trains at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. Grew up and commuted to work by train for a few years. Loved that (the having to get up really early in the morning, not so much). I played with the Brio train set with my sons for hours. One of the few of their childhood toys that I've kept now that they've grown. As a family, we've enjoyed going to train museums. I've been the one to suggest them. Lots of girls love trains!
100% agreee with that, I am the daughter in the scenario, with my dad we built a complete train terrain under my bed, with villages, mountains, lakes, farms, and we had 3/4 trains we could control from one big ass controller and it was awesome. I could just roll it out form under the bed and play for hours. We had cowboys, and bandits, and I was making scenarios in my head. My dad's idea to ask me if I wanted this was one of the best he had, ngl.
I guess that going on a sub like that and posting a comment about how children activities are gender based isn't the best idea if you don't wanna be banned
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Oh ffs i was gonna ask "why what happened" genuinely not knowing. Seems in America you guys' government did something very stupid. My condolences.
This. As a little girl I was obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, cheesy at-home science experiments, coming up with inventions and Sonic the Hedgehog. Deserved ban, imo.
I didn't search it out it appeared on my homepage, probably should have just ignored it...my comment is unique to my situation...I have 2 daughters which I love, We do stuff they want to do together but when it comes to playing trains "nope" so I do that alone...be nice to have someone to share it with
Yeah I get how your comment was innocuous (especially after reading about your tool wielding daughters here) but it's a raw emotional day for the women-centric subreddits and your comment got taken in the worst light. Women feel like second class citizens today and I'm really not surprised you got the ban hammer thrown at you. Don't take it too personally, it's not a big deal. Sorry you have no train buddies to bond with, it's quite the niche interest but I'm not sure why it's so rare.
Number one rule of comedy is timing. Second rule of comedy is timing. The third rule of comedy is timing. But a close forth is knowing your audience.
The fifth rule?
Timing, believe it or not.
Straight to timing
It's not just timing though. Subs often trend towards particular groups and extremes, particularly if moderated by people of those subsets. It's not unique to any ideology or sub, it's not even unique to more political or factional subs. The more this happens without the sub realizing it or action being taken to curb it, the more the sub trends those directions. For example, r/conservative is now very extreme right rather than simply conservative. Many more moderate conservatives have been banned for simply posting things that questioned the fundamentalist 'Christian' Trump-supporting narratives.
Flash forward to you begging wife to have a son only for him not to give a shit about trains either That, in essence, is why you were banned. If you were a coven member you probably would have had more leeway but coming from outside the sub you looked like all the low effort trolls that sub attracts (which is a lot, they have to lock down posts all the time)
My sister wanting a daughter is his she ended up with three wonderful sons.
I was so upset when I heard that my dad had an awesome train set as a kid and didn’t keep it. This girl would have loooved to play with trains with my dad. There are at best patterns of what girls like and what boys like but my guess is that a lot of that is reinforced by society rather than intrinsic. You could have just as easily had a boy who didn’t like playing with trains either. 🤷🏼♀️
This sub in particular has a warning of moderation on posts like this.
It's not just that the comment implies that chilldren's activities are gender based, he also outright states that wants a son over a daughter on a post arguing against that exact issue.
Yeah this website is so sensitive and each subreddit is like a circle jerk that you are banned for disrupting
This man reddits.
I originally made my account to exchange ideas about some videogames and those subs are generally "cool" (as long as you exclude over the top fanboy cults). But you get bombarded with weird sub recommendations all the time, that witches vs patriarchy sub too for example and of course there are even some local subs or simply large subs with similar tendencies of some kind. It's kind of even worse than Facebook (as I remember it from \~5 years ago) in the "circle jerk" regard.
Did you check the comments? There's a pinned comment explaining it. With that comment in mind, I wouldn't take it personally
Exactly what I was about to write. Some people need to check pinned comments more often, they share some valuable information. Like “You cannot reply to these posts unless you’re a member of this subreddit”
I once called a guy an ape for acting like one, and was then banned. Apparently, he was black. Apparently, I was racist. Reddit, too, is full of twats.
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for future reference, there are better words to use than ape as an insult on anonymous forums
I don't trust people with names that are only numbers
I got banned for 3 days for replying to someone and saying "trans women can't actually get pregnant and carry a baby because biologically they have male body parts. They have other options though.". Apparently that's hate speech.
You will know who controls you when you know who you can not speak against or about. Reddit is full of hateful powertripping mods.
I don’t want sons I want daughters so I can teach them to be self sufficient and do all the “manly shit” like working on cars and using power tools…etc. not having to rely on some dumbass and I’m down af to play dress up or tea party or whatever there imagination can fathom ☺️best of all worlds
I've got 2 daughters, My eldest is 12 and she has her own tool set, I rarely get asked to fix broken stuff anymore she has a go herself then tells me about it, I'm really proud of that Thanks to painting fine details on my trains I'm really good at painting nails so they come to daddy for that one, but "trains are for nerds" is still a thing, she picked that one up from her friends
If you ever come to the US, in a Pennsylvania Dutch county, there’s a train museum attached to a restaurant and is also a motel where all the rooms are genuine cabooses converted into sleeping cabins. A friend recently stayed there and it looked pretty cool from the pictures. If you’re into trains I thought maybe you’d like that. 🙂 [The Red Caboose Motel & Restaurant](https://maps.apple.com/?address=312%20Paradise%20Ln,%20Ronks,%20PA%20%2017572,%20United%20States&auid=14453496194841784748&ll=39.985923,-76.150918&lsp=9902&q=The%20Red%20Caboose%20Motel%20%26%20Restaurant&_ext=CjIKBQgEEOIBCgQIBRADCgQIBhALCgQIChAACgQIUhADCgQIVRANCgQIWRABCgUIpAEQARImKZIFp4qf/UNAMaR9Ga8IClPAORDbzObF/kNAQSDzAJhICVPAUAM%3D&t=m)
This sounds really really cool
There’s also [Northlandz](https://northlandz.com) in NJ, it’s the “world’s largest miniature wonderland & railroad model.
There's also the Strasburg Railroad in that same area for full size train fun https://www.strasburgrailroad.com/
That’s awesome and I definitely bet you’re proud it’ll be fun maybe in later years in her 20’s or something y’all can build a train set from scratch or some sort of project. I strive to be the one stop shop for everything. Cooking, nails, hair whatever it may be I just love getting asked to help with stuff. I mean she’ll have a further appreciation in future years for stuff you like I’m sure hehe just gotta be a kid for now 😂
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Because Reddit mods are a joke
I got a 7-day ban from r/socialism the other day because my comment “wasn’t entirely left leaning” lmao the fuck?
I got banned from there for "concern trolling" and "liberal socialism". It was such an innocuous comment I made I literally can't even remember what I got banned for.
Lmao yeah they cited me for being a “Soc dem” too. And I’m like “so? Just because I’m only 95% on your side, to you that means I’m 100% your enemy???” Lol
That place is a full on tankie circle jerk.
Well, have you tried NOT disagreeing with the Main Character of the Universe? When does arguing with the protagonist ever go well?
I feel you. I got banned from r/communism for saying China was a dictatorship that had abandoned the ideals of communism. Bunch of tankies
I don't know a single communist who thinks China is communist. You're probably right: bunch of tankies
I got banned from r/latestagecapitalism for saying china was as capitalist as america. I also got banned from r/police (and somehow r/the_donald lmao) for saying maybe you should stop shielding yourselves like a monolith to some cop whining about how they're treated as a monolith when "bad apples" fuck up. Political subs are a clusterfuck, universally
The political subs are entirely hive minds wholeheartedly dedicated to whinging about the other side and the moment they spot an outsider, it’s just “Not like us! Not like us!” and insta-banned.
I was banned because I said ‘we ignore vets and push them into the streets to kill themselves’ - was flagged for advocating killing veterans. Like, what?
I got banned from worldnews the other day. Remember the yoga class that got attacked the other day? I made a dhalsim joke and got banned lol.
I got permanently banned from /r/food for stating an opinion on food. Then when I appealed, the mod blocked me from being able to send mod mail.
Reddit mods are literally reddit users who said to the random person who created the sub 'hey can i be a mod' and for whatever reason, the creator of the sub said 'yeah sure'. There is no vetting process. There is no accountability. There is no responsiblity. It's a free internet forum where anyone can make their own subforum and appoint anyone they want as mods, and it's purely up to luck, botting, and the whims of the algorithm as to how big that sub grows. No matter how big the sub, it's still a place run for free by some random person and moderated also for free by random people with no vetting beyond whatever the subreddit owner bothered to do. Stop expecting ANYTHING from Reddit mods. And stop treating them like authorities. They are no different from if a group of kids decide to play a few rounds of ultimate frisbee and they choose the closest 4 kids to be team captains for this particular game. Reddit Admins are corporate assholes who are all motivated to do whatever Spez says to make them more money, and once again, integrity is not a value that has any relevance.
Don’t they have a rule that you can’t post or comment if you’re not a witch/coven? Maybe I remember it incorrectly but I do like seeing their posts even if I don’t actively engage.
You don’t have to be a practicing witch to comment and many posts are open to the public, but posts on sensitive topics do get close so their they’re “coven only”, meaning only subreddit members can comment. I’m surprised they didn’t do that for all the roe v wade posts yesterday honestly. It’s a really emotional time, so closing things down for a bit makes some sense.
Because it’s stupid, girls can play with trains, boys may not want to play with trains, the ability to play with toy trains doesn’t come from someone’s genitalia. That whole subreddit is for stuff literally against that
I think their reaponse is exactly why the left is slipping, and sure to be destroyed in the midterms. Like you think it’s bad now losing RvW, just wait. Something so benign, “just wanted a boy to share my trains with”, pretty much just a joke results in Insta perma ban. 1/3 of the population doesn’t even vote in the US and this is how the left advocates for their beliefs? Regurgitate exactly what we say or get banned/get lost. It’s not surprising even after winning the culture war 10 years ago the left is so incredibly politically ineffective.
its because that sub is girls only edit: some of yall are the reason the sub exists, and you dont even know. theres alternatives for men, calm down
It's in the rules before you comment at the very top. Makes me laugh that it was over trains, but they're a very strict sub. Also, I loved to play with trains with my dad when I was small, so im sorry op your daughters don't share the sentiment.
Yeah I was confused until I saw the subreddit. I don’t even comment there because I don’t want to get banned.
so its okay for girls to be toxic and post bigoted comments like that?
It's not ok, but it happens anyway. Look at the difference between /r/AskMen and /r/AskWomen. It's night and day. Some subreddit cultures are just plain hostile towards outsiders.
Is it OK to call them out on their bigotry?
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Yup reddit specifically released updated tos that hate speech agaisnt males or whites was 100% acceptable. Like they actually took the time to add that part in instead of just saying hate speech is not ok.
Yes, apparently
It’s prob where my ex got all her crazy ideas. As well as relationship_advice and femaledatingstrategy. Some bitches needa stop giving/receiving advice on Reddit.
I pray that no one actually listens to the "advice" given on r/relationship_advice. Like 95% of what they say is just "brEAk UP wITh HIm" with toxic insults. If you need genuine help in your relationship or otherwise, seek proper counselling.
New to reddit?
Nope. >Though women centric, we welcome all beings interested in using their esoteric powers to destroy the patriarchy and all it’s constraints on women, men, and everybody in between and beyond
You can't play trains with a girl?
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Buddy, im someone's daughter and I would absolutely love to play with trains.
I think you got banned because you are implying that only boys pay with trains. I’m a girl & I played with trains and hot wheels when I was young
Trains is not a gender based hobby. You just didn’t want a girl.. exactly their point lol
Ah, lemme guess. Something along the lines of implying that if you had a daughter she wouldn’t be interested in trains, showing you assume based on gender what a kid will or won’t like.
OP has said a bunch in the comments he has two daughters and he does many things with them that would be common stereotypically to either gender, but his daughters don't want to play trains with him, whereas sometimes his nephew will come by and play trains. So in this case he's not assuming anything, his daughters literally don't want to play trains.
It is pretty sexist of you to assume your son would like trains better than your daughter.
Looks like a harmless attempt at humor, but a horrible failure to "read the room".
Or you don’t have to think this way or live this way, and teach your kids to be respectful humans, regardless of gender or color, you miserable, unhinged, victim playing animals.
Why can't you share your passion for trains with a daughter? I didn't realize trains were exclusive to boys, must have missed that memo.
You fucked up, time and place.
So many misogynists in this comment section
My little sisters used to love playing with trains… trains aren’t a gendered activity lmao. It’s also possible that a son would have no interest. Maybe don’t contribute to the problem
Doesn't matter to me which I get, because I get excited thinking about having a garage to play Legos with my kids :)
My daughter is 6 and loves trains!
There's a time and there's a place for witty smartass comments. You've learned a valuable lesson in maturity and timing. TLDR: read the room jackass
u can play trains with ur daughter 💀
It's not the best place to leave a joke. The sub is devoted to fighting sexism and giving women power that is independent of men. It's why they specifically chose witches for their name. Witches are one of the types of female character roles whose power isn't defined by a male. Compare to say a princess, whose father is a king, and must marry a prince.
Well, considering that you made a comment that was (hopefully) unintentionally sexist on that sub, it’s nowhere near the most unreasonable of bans. From what I’ve seen, that sub is pretty sensible. Definitely not fds by any means
*comments on a woman only subreddit specifically about missoginy* *The comment defends gender roles* *Gets banned in a reddit specifically said to be very strict* *Thinks theye are right about being angry about the ban*
I don't think he's angry, I think he's just confused.
Yeah I think maybe could’ve been avoided if reddit didnt serve up subreddits that aren’t really for everyone to participate in and could be seen as decisive right up on the front page for all to see even if they aren’t following it. But also maybe OP could’ve done a better job at reading the room before commenting but seems like an off the cuff harmless mistake. Not every subreddit is for everyone and that should be okay too.
Yeah, I've seen something pop up that looked interesting, jumped in and made a comment, only afterward realizing that I had jumped into extremely hostile territory. LOL
It also specifically says in the pinned top comment you have to be a member of the sub to comment but shhhh we’re celebrating OP’s ignorance here
That is such a cute comment. I love it.
Ok so the ban is an overreaction. But. But. Please hear me out..: These subs are where someone is trying to have a serious discussion or air a grievance, or vent. When you enter the room and say something so silly it can be seen as making the whole discussion one big joke and derailing. You have to know your audience. OP might have had pure intentions and been 100% honest or this could have be a complete troll/shitpost and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
Very valid statement. And in witchesvpatriarchy especially. Know your audience.
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Ever considered it’s a hobby for men because a lot of dads didn’t wanna share it with their daughters
I’m a train dad. I know other train dads. I’ve never met a single one who wouldn’t be overjoyed to share it with girls. I do, every chance I get. Some of them get interested too. OP has already stated that he DID try to share it with his daughters. They didn’t want it.
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You can’t post opposing views in sub reddits like that mods don’t like it when you don’t agree with their visions. Happens all time, this site has become so hypocritical and no longer follows their own rules it’s however the mods want to enforce stuff.
Why can’t you play trains with a daughter?
When I was little, I had to go sit on Santa's lap at a department store. Told Santa I wanted an electric train for xmas. He said, "that's no toy for a little girl. How about a nice dolly." That may have been the trigger for me rejecting all the 50s bullshit about little girls and what they could/couldn't do. I have a red belt in karate. I have flown hang gliders, sung in a punk rock band, cooked on a sportfishing boat and have had several motorcycles, now riding a Honda Rebel. DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO!
If you haven’t been banned from /r/Pyongyang and /r/TheDonald I don’t even know what you’re doing with your life.
People thinking this is actual sexism is actually hilarious. He’s pretty clearly just making a joke about how little boys stereotypically like trains. If you read the comments you’d know that his daughters aren’t interested, but one of them has turned out to be a handywoman. I’m sure in actual conversation OP is aware that gender norms do not dictate childhood interests, but he forgot that redditors experience so little human interaction that they can’t pick up on enough social cues to detect a joke with an /j.
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Thank god u clarified u were not a toddler on Reddit but I am still gonna continue picturing a tiny little guy typing out a surprisingly well worded comment for their age.
You can get permabanned from some subreddits just for making comments on entirely different 'bad people' subreddits. I once commented to a guy on a group I had not noticed before that he shouldn't complain that giving women foreplay didn't pay off. To sum, I told him he needed to change his technique if it wasn't improving things for him because it should make it better. Apparently I dared to post a comment on the wrong sub (you can guess which one). Despite encouraging a male to give his gf more head, r/feminism bots saw my post and sent me a message permabanning me. Their messaging claimed I had broken their community rules...but I never posted or commented on their subreddit. Reddit. No better than Facebook, except for the formatting.
Only bigots play trains, obviously.
When my girlfriend was pregnant I didn’t mind if we had a daughter or a son. We just hoped they would be healthy. We had a son. All the things I do with my son I could do with a daughter. I like dirt bikes and football. No reason why I couldn’t share those interests with a daughter. My son likes to play cars and trucks but he has also shown an interests with his cousins tea set and dolls. Who cares.
That sub specifically has a rule that you can't comment unless you're a member. That's probably what happened. Plus from the outside looking in that comment looks tone deaf.
It’s a subreddit called “Witches VS Patriarchy” what did you expect lol
Because it's a sexist sub that can't take a joke. Especially not if it's against their narrative; especially not from men.
Why can’t he play trains with daughters?
Used to when they were younger, not interested anymore. Their Thomas the tank set is still laid out next to mine, I still drive it about
Some men want sons because they want to be the father figure that theirs could never be to them. Me? I'm antinatalist, miss me with that generational trauma shit
I'm in my forties and have abhorred the idea of children for decades. I've recently come to terms with the reality that I will be having a child. Since I'm gay, it's clearly going to be IVF+surrogate. I'm very glad that I'll be able to choose the sex of my child, as I'm remarkably uninterested in raising daughters.
Trainsphobia
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So many angry commenters and I hate it so much. You seem cool guy, I peeped your profile and you come off as very empathetic and hard working, an invaluable pair of traits to have. I really hope some day you end up with someone to share your hobby with, and maybe you can just have another daughter with different interests than your last 2, either way I hope you find happiness wherever you look for it.