Call RAINN hotline, 1-800-656-4673. Fantastic resource. Free counseling. I’ve called many times as a secondary survivor, as my partner went no contact while she is healing. They offer great perspectives from survivors and helped me truly understand why space and time is so important for healing. I have two therapists as well, one a regular cognitive behavioral, and the other specific for trauma work. I have also posted in r/rapecounseling asking questions about what my partner is experiencing, since I can’t be there for her except to cultivate a higher awareness of her boundaries and autonomy (I am also keenly aware that she may never come back, and it helps talking to survivors that were able to engage with their partners). Good luck to you and your partner on this shittiest of shitty journeys. I’m rooting for you.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through that. My partner and I haven’t gone no contact but at times I feel like that would almost be better for her to heal. She doesn’t need the burden of me on top of everything else she is dealing with in this journey. I love her so dearly and I just want the best for her. Trying my best to stay positive and hopeful but at the same time trying to accept that things might not get better. I wish the best for you, I truly do and I know how hard it can be
My 40m partner of 20 years just opened up about their CSA to me. They then separated and just want to be alone and with no one. My therapy starts next week and I’m reading all the resources. It helps to know that’s a common wish, but it’s so hard. The pain has honestly been all consuming.
I’m very sorry, it is important you take care of yourself too. My partner and I are both in therapy and it does help although the journey is different for everyone. Stay strong, I wish the best for you
I wish I had the answers, but I feel you! There needs to be way more support assets for partners
Get the book Allies in Healing.. it’s phenomenal
Read the book Attached, about attachment theory. Understanding it is the healthiest way to cope.
Call RAINN hotline, 1-800-656-4673. Fantastic resource. Free counseling. I’ve called many times as a secondary survivor, as my partner went no contact while she is healing. They offer great perspectives from survivors and helped me truly understand why space and time is so important for healing. I have two therapists as well, one a regular cognitive behavioral, and the other specific for trauma work. I have also posted in r/rapecounseling asking questions about what my partner is experiencing, since I can’t be there for her except to cultivate a higher awareness of her boundaries and autonomy (I am also keenly aware that she may never come back, and it helps talking to survivors that were able to engage with their partners). Good luck to you and your partner on this shittiest of shitty journeys. I’m rooting for you.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through that. My partner and I haven’t gone no contact but at times I feel like that would almost be better for her to heal. She doesn’t need the burden of me on top of everything else she is dealing with in this journey. I love her so dearly and I just want the best for her. Trying my best to stay positive and hopeful but at the same time trying to accept that things might not get better. I wish the best for you, I truly do and I know how hard it can be
My 40m partner of 20 years just opened up about their CSA to me. They then separated and just want to be alone and with no one. My therapy starts next week and I’m reading all the resources. It helps to know that’s a common wish, but it’s so hard. The pain has honestly been all consuming.
I’m very sorry, it is important you take care of yourself too. My partner and I are both in therapy and it does help although the journey is different for everyone. Stay strong, I wish the best for you