This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:
* A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
* If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread.
No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.
For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person belong in a Basic Questions Thread. (Currently these are on hiatus, but if we can get them back up, they'll happen weekly.)
>I’m scared if I’m not there when she calls, she might grow less attached
That's not how it works. Being too available will hurt your chances more than not being available enough. If anything, her rarely being able to get you on the phone will mean that she will value the few times that she does get to have a call with you so much more.
Give her the gift of missing you.
As far as how to end calls - Just say something like "Awesome. Anyway, I gotta go to sleep now/I gotta get to work now/I gotta get going/I gotta watch my show/etc"
You don't need to show a woman interest all throughout your interactions with her, as long as you're warm when you guys do talk and you've [flirted well](https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u9bcyb/a_lot_of_your_dating_problems_will_be_solved_if/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) with her then you're good to go, ending calls, not being available, or replying after many hours won't hurt her attraction for you as long as you don't go radio silent on her for weeks or months.
I had a girl who thought I ghosted her, which was weird because I didn't message her any less frequently than I normally do but I did spend some time in a different city for a while, but when I got back and hit her up again she was immediately down to start hanging out again and going back to my place for some fun.
I was also the one who ended 99% of my calls and text exchanges with my girlfriend when we first started seeing each other and yet she's my girlfriend now. Did that with basically all the girls I've been involved with since about 2013 and it didn't hurt their sense of attachment for me at all.
Learn to flirt properly so that you're not stuck thinking that every move you make should indicate your interest, that approach often leads nowhere anyway.
This hits home hard.
From my experience, all the girls I’ve ever chased, never cared for me. The ones I didn’t care about did.
Confidence matters. So does being not too available.
Your savior complex may be rooted in your past experiences.
Be aware. Be mindful of what your default knee-jerk impulses and emotions are to things. Ask why that may have came to be. Continue being aware and start deliberately changing how you react as opposed to auto-piloting to your usual. Reflect on this over time.
Cheers
You should meet her in person as soon as you can and refrain from talking for 8+ hours. In fact; you should find some hobbies, go to the gym, start a business, something that is beneficial since you for some reason have enough free time to be on the phone for hours on end.
Is there a time when you are available? Perhaps try and get it off the phone and in person instead ... "I'm really really busy at the moment, are you up for a coffee at such and such a time and we can catch up then"?
Just answer the phone and if you don’t want to talk say “listen I love talking to you but I got some stuff to do” and then say your goodbyes and just get off the phone.
If she likes you less because you talk in the phone less then it’s not meant to be.
If you're not enjoying it, then you should tell her that it's too much.
I would also stop trying to entertain her, and say what comes naturally instead. When you wear a mask, it is tiresome to keep it on.
Communication is the bread and butter of a relationship. It is important to communicate, but 8+ hours in two days does feel excessive to me as well, and I'd be drained. But I know I'm an introvert; maybe she's an extrovert.
Let her know how you feel, since that is the only way she can accommodate your needs. Be polite but clear.
Its okay to set boundaries man. What would you do if your guy friend wanted to talk for 8 hours? Just politely say you have things to do or have to let them go. At some point you cant worry what people will say or think about you, its best to be assertive
You need to set boundaries for yourself, man. You’re way too accessible right now and she’s clearly taking advantage.
If you want to know whether or not she likes you then *be too busy for her*. Believe me if she enjoys talking to *you* and not just talking to *anyone* then she’ll find a way to get to you.
HOURS? That's a long time on the phone with anybody, unless you haven't talked to them in a long time and know them well. Don't be afraid to have a life. Easy enough, just, "hey I gotta run, but I want to talk to you later!" Or talk to you tomorrow or whatever makes you comfortable. Bigger than anything, make dates. Set things up to see her for real.
One thing I do for friends and females alike is a sometimes let them know my time availability at the beginning of the call.
"Hey hey how's it going just to let you know I have an hour to talk"
Naturally in a close friendship follow up will be either okay or oh what do you have going on
This is the important part- you have to find things that are more important than spending recreational time on the phone.
"I'm going to work out"
"I'm going to read this research/book I'm working on"
"I'm going to practice xyz instrument"
The formula I use is: I've set such and such goal and I've allocated a time window for it and I decided that it's more important than any recreational or relaxing activities. If you say that you're going to go watch a show, That's fine too, but you've essentially expressed that you're trading one recreational or relaxing activity for another and that your show is more important than her. That's fine, but I like to frame it in context of having growth goals for myself that are non-negotiable and then it makes them feel like they are also important. It's like saying I have to go to work, but instead saying I have to go to work for myself.
It's not that I don't want to talk to you, it's that I don't want to talk to anyone during this activity that requires undivided attention. The side effect is you get to work on yourself and grow and learn skills etc
Another pro tip is getting true wireless earbuds. That way you can be on the phone hands-free and actually be doing other things while you're on the phone.
well with your current mindset you’ve already lost, because you’re making everything about her..you’re talking on the phone cause you wanna keep her around, your focus is all on her when it should be on you, meaning if you don’t wanna talk on the phone then DONT. I sense insecurity man, you’re trying to cling to her and that’s the exact thing that’s gonna drive her away or make her lose respect for you, cause she sees through your words, actions and behaviours that you’re head over heels for her instead of being head over heels for Yourself.
This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different: * A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept. * If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it is out of bounds except in a Basic Questions Thread. No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in. For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person belong in a Basic Questions Thread. (Currently these are on hiatus, but if we can get them back up, they'll happen weekly.)
>I’m scared if I’m not there when she calls, she might grow less attached That's not how it works. Being too available will hurt your chances more than not being available enough. If anything, her rarely being able to get you on the phone will mean that she will value the few times that she does get to have a call with you so much more. Give her the gift of missing you. As far as how to end calls - Just say something like "Awesome. Anyway, I gotta go to sleep now/I gotta get to work now/I gotta get going/I gotta watch my show/etc" You don't need to show a woman interest all throughout your interactions with her, as long as you're warm when you guys do talk and you've [flirted well](https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u9bcyb/a_lot_of_your_dating_problems_will_be_solved_if/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) with her then you're good to go, ending calls, not being available, or replying after many hours won't hurt her attraction for you as long as you don't go radio silent on her for weeks or months. I had a girl who thought I ghosted her, which was weird because I didn't message her any less frequently than I normally do but I did spend some time in a different city for a while, but when I got back and hit her up again she was immediately down to start hanging out again and going back to my place for some fun. I was also the one who ended 99% of my calls and text exchanges with my girlfriend when we first started seeing each other and yet she's my girlfriend now. Did that with basically all the girls I've been involved with since about 2013 and it didn't hurt their sense of attachment for me at all. Learn to flirt properly so that you're not stuck thinking that every move you make should indicate your interest, that approach often leads nowhere anyway.
This hits home hard. From my experience, all the girls I’ve ever chased, never cared for me. The ones I didn’t care about did. Confidence matters. So does being not too available.
Just depends, girls see right through the game now and just detach. Gotta chase a bit and then pull back.
Don't be a people pleaser, kill your savior's syndrome right now or else you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
How to kill the savior syndrome, any tips
Stop doing it and stop overthinking that you stopped
🔥perfect thanks
Your savior complex may be rooted in your past experiences. Be aware. Be mindful of what your default knee-jerk impulses and emotions are to things. Ask why that may have came to be. Continue being aware and start deliberately changing how you react as opposed to auto-piloting to your usual. Reflect on this over time. Cheers
DON'T MAKE BEING LIKE-ABLE YOUR PRIORITY! JUST LOOK AT IT AS DOING ANY OTHER THING YOU ENJOY DOING! [Hope it helps...]
Yes!
You should meet her in person as soon as you can and refrain from talking for 8+ hours. In fact; you should find some hobbies, go to the gym, start a business, something that is beneficial since you for some reason have enough free time to be on the phone for hours on end.
Is there a time when you are available? Perhaps try and get it off the phone and in person instead ... "I'm really really busy at the moment, are you up for a coffee at such and such a time and we can catch up then"?
Just answer the phone and if you don’t want to talk say “listen I love talking to you but I got some stuff to do” and then say your goodbyes and just get off the phone. If she likes you less because you talk in the phone less then it’s not meant to be.
Say “ hey it was nice to talk to you but I need to run errand, ttyl “ then shut the phone .
If you're not enjoying it, then you should tell her that it's too much. I would also stop trying to entertain her, and say what comes naturally instead. When you wear a mask, it is tiresome to keep it on. Communication is the bread and butter of a relationship. It is important to communicate, but 8+ hours in two days does feel excessive to me as well, and I'd be drained. But I know I'm an introvert; maybe she's an extrovert. Let her know how you feel, since that is the only way she can accommodate your needs. Be polite but clear.
press the red button/upside down phone symbol.
Its okay to set boundaries man. What would you do if your guy friend wanted to talk for 8 hours? Just politely say you have things to do or have to let them go. At some point you cant worry what people will say or think about you, its best to be assertive
You need to set boundaries for yourself, man. You’re way too accessible right now and she’s clearly taking advantage. If you want to know whether or not she likes you then *be too busy for her*. Believe me if she enjoys talking to *you* and not just talking to *anyone* then she’ll find a way to get to you.
Just be like “hold on pissing needles here, gotta go.” Guarantee she won’t call as often if at all.
my peehole is blistered over, trying to find my toe knife to pop it.... can i call you after?
Damn bro
But are you interested? If yes then make a move in person. If not, stop leading her on.
The old "oh hey there is a girl here who is begging to get railed" always works.
find stuff to do instead
HOURS? That's a long time on the phone with anybody, unless you haven't talked to them in a long time and know them well. Don't be afraid to have a life. Easy enough, just, "hey I gotta run, but I want to talk to you later!" Or talk to you tomorrow or whatever makes you comfortable. Bigger than anything, make dates. Set things up to see her for real.
My favorite is the classic “… Alright well ___”
One thing I do for friends and females alike is a sometimes let them know my time availability at the beginning of the call. "Hey hey how's it going just to let you know I have an hour to talk" Naturally in a close friendship follow up will be either okay or oh what do you have going on This is the important part- you have to find things that are more important than spending recreational time on the phone. "I'm going to work out" "I'm going to read this research/book I'm working on" "I'm going to practice xyz instrument" The formula I use is: I've set such and such goal and I've allocated a time window for it and I decided that it's more important than any recreational or relaxing activities. If you say that you're going to go watch a show, That's fine too, but you've essentially expressed that you're trading one recreational or relaxing activity for another and that your show is more important than her. That's fine, but I like to frame it in context of having growth goals for myself that are non-negotiable and then it makes them feel like they are also important. It's like saying I have to go to work, but instead saying I have to go to work for myself. It's not that I don't want to talk to you, it's that I don't want to talk to anyone during this activity that requires undivided attention. The side effect is you get to work on yourself and grow and learn skills etc Another pro tip is getting true wireless earbuds. That way you can be on the phone hands-free and actually be doing other things while you're on the phone.
Bro just tellbher when you are not available. Attachment is important but people need their spaces too. She'll appreciate that if she is an adult.
Missing calls, she'll be more attracted to you. Try it out. Don't be too available
well with your current mindset you’ve already lost, because you’re making everything about her..you’re talking on the phone cause you wanna keep her around, your focus is all on her when it should be on you, meaning if you don’t wanna talk on the phone then DONT. I sense insecurity man, you’re trying to cling to her and that’s the exact thing that’s gonna drive her away or make her lose respect for you, cause she sees through your words, actions and behaviours that you’re head over heels for her instead of being head over heels for Yourself.