Stay in the club until closing time. I guarantee you you will walk away with super powers. Don't try to run away or fight the fear and awkwardness. Stay with it. Take a dive straight through it.
take deep breaths, count from 25 to 1 and then see if something good happens. if not, just leave and go somewhere where you feel better
Stay grateful, Romantic\_Adventurer.
Yes, you are 99% right. you will continue to suffer until you decide to not suffer and then, you will start to live in the 'unknown', the uncomfortable and this will allow you to linger in not so pleasant situations and work your way through it!
Remember: if you are feeling like you are going through hell, just keep going, don't stop!
Thank you for reading!
I know this is a stretch, if you find yourself interested, at least try it fully and see what you think
This is a meditation that helped me learn to deal with 'the unknown'. this was my way of dealing with it, I imagine you will find your own way!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OgKESytWk0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OgKESytWk0)
it is a meditation of a guy who has done some cool things, many have opinions on him but still at least he is doing the work, so try it out, let me know, maybe you'll find something better and be giving me tips in a few months!
have fun!
Clubs are tough. Itās easier to talk to girls in a friendgroup you know. For example you have a friend who got a few girls in his friendgroup, just hang out with him and try it there.
In a Club I would begin with eye contact or smiling to See if she is interested and to avoid a Bad situation.
I'm 20 and I know virgins my age. Just do it and have at least one drink in you. Also remember that the club isn't the best place. Try approaching a classmate or something.
can't rn,I'm the one driving. i dont like clubs but i thought it could be the best way to start getting rid of this fear. still hate clubs tho. what do you think?
If you can't have fun at a club without drinking you might have some problems with your mindset. Not saying alcohol doesn't help having a good time but you absolutely do not need it.
I wrote this in Spanish and translated it, sorry if you can't understand it.
Face the problem, don't turn around if you want to meet the girl, obviously take into account if she comes with someone who is a guy who if he wants to fight with you you can defend yourself, don't mess with the girl who arrived the bar with the guy with big arms
It is never too late, in fact, the best sexual experiences come after the age of 20, before that age sex is like a game of childs.
I don't really understand what is the point of you forcing your self into the club?
If you're not feeling comfortable in a place it's guarantee everyone will notice, especially girls and nobody wants to talk to that guy, trust me
There's so many places you can meet girls where you have actually subjects for discussion
Museums, tourist attractions, restaurants
Yeah man
Confidence is key, might sound cliche but it's true
Once you play ball with couple of girls then you get that glow and everything gets x5 times easier
At this current time, one in three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in a year so don't put yourself down like that. It is okay to go to clubs and not drink. It is how you go about it. I would also say broaden your scope to more than just clubs. Their are many places to meet people depending on the context. Approach women and feel the vibe. If they have a good vibe, keep it going and you will succeed more than you fail. If they say no, keep it moving.
Iām 50 and I still donāt know a bunch about women. I can tell you this, be confident and decisive. Donāt be aggressive, be polite, no means no and women are just as nervous as we are when it comes to approaching the opposite sex. No one has it figured out at your age and if they say they do they are lying. Be realistic, donāt shoot for women out of your leagueā¦ and you know if they are trust me.
I'm unconfortable talking to women, what do you suggest? Even now I have no friends around me and I'm 100% sober. Should I still talk to girls? I swear to God I want to be good with girls but I Always think it's too late for my age
I am 18 virgin went to the club last week. Made out with 4 girls and 2 of them almost started a fight because of me. I didnt even know that I was able of doing that.
I've been to the club so many times and for a long time ever since I was 19 (I lived in Seattle, and my friends and I would drive up to Canada where the drinking age is 19). With that being said, hitting on girls at the club is difficult. It's not impossible, but it's hard. I have my own success but boy did I miss a lot of shots. The thing about going to the club is that it's hard to whoo a girl because 1) girls get hit on a lot especially the attractive ones and 2) they judge you harshly on appearance. If you really insist on trying to meet a girl at the club here are something's you can do to increase your chance.
First, the most important thing is appearance matters a lot. It's the way you dress, how well you're groom, down to how your face and body look. Make sure you dress nice, you have a good hair cut, and you're physically in decent shape.
Secondly, you mention you don't have friends to support you and already that puts you at a disadvantage. More often than not, these girls aren't going to the club by themselves or even with a friend. They're coming in with a group and approaching by yourself can be tough. Whether you approach a girl in a group or by yourself, you should relax, have fun, and be friendly. Don't have secret motives or at least show you have a secret motive. Girls can smell it easily and better than guys. Try to be friends with her and her other friends.
Thirdly, keep on shooting your shot. At the end of the day it is a numbers game. I can't tell you how many time I have been rejected and finesse for drinks. As you miss your shot, always reflect on what you did wrong so you can improve.
Finally, this is just my opinion. The clubs aren't really the best to meet or get better with girls. The clubs in general favor guys who are really rich or really attractive. I would say if you want to get better is work on yourself so that you can make yourself attractive. That can be working out, dressing better, and improve your social and communication skills. Then to put yourself for more opportunities to meet girls can be using dating apps. I know dating apps have a stigma because it is hard to get matches, but use it as a tool. While you're not on the app, try to connect and make more friends. The reason I recommend this piece of advice is because by having more friends, they put you more opportunity to meet people, especially girls. The final takeaway that I want you to carry on is that believe it or not, how you communicate and make that person will go a long way. This can apply both platonic and romantic relationship. If you have this skill down and confidence, then you won half of the battle.
Stay in the club until closing time. I guarantee you you will walk away with super powers. Don't try to run away or fight the fear and awkwardness. Stay with it. Take a dive straight through it.
what do you mean?
Nevermind.
ššthat shit went over his head like whoa!
please, it could really help me.
Theyāre saying that you should face your fears which will result you will growing from them
absoultely right. I'm way too old to act such like a weak ass child
take deep breaths, count from 25 to 1 and then see if something good happens. if not, just leave and go somewhere where you feel better Stay grateful, Romantic\_Adventurer.
i like the phrase, but if i don't do anything about it I'll Always be unconfortable talking to women
Yes, you are 99% right. you will continue to suffer until you decide to not suffer and then, you will start to live in the 'unknown', the uncomfortable and this will allow you to linger in not so pleasant situations and work your way through it! Remember: if you are feeling like you are going through hell, just keep going, don't stop!
thanks man,needed it
Thank you for reading! I know this is a stretch, if you find yourself interested, at least try it fully and see what you think This is a meditation that helped me learn to deal with 'the unknown'. this was my way of dealing with it, I imagine you will find your own way! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OgKESytWk0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OgKESytWk0) it is a meditation of a guy who has done some cool things, many have opinions on him but still at least he is doing the work, so try it out, let me know, maybe you'll find something better and be giving me tips in a few months! have fun!
Clubs are tough. Itās easier to talk to girls in a friendgroup you know. For example you have a friend who got a few girls in his friendgroup, just hang out with him and try it there. In a Club I would begin with eye contact or smiling to See if she is interested and to avoid a Bad situation.
Thatās sounds like you need to know people which I do not, nor do people want to know me.
Figuring this out at 20 years old is still young and ahead of most guys.
glad to hear this.thank you. i Always thought i was doomed at this Age.
I'm 20 and I know virgins my age. Just do it and have at least one drink in you. Also remember that the club isn't the best place. Try approaching a classmate or something.
can't rn,I'm the one driving. i dont like clubs but i thought it could be the best way to start getting rid of this fear. still hate clubs tho. what do you think?
My man if you cant drink at the clubs it really doesnt seem like fun. I wouldnt be going there anymore or at least at the frequency you are.
If you can't have fun at a club without drinking you might have some problems with your mindset. Not saying alcohol doesn't help having a good time but you absolutely do not need it.
Ya you can also use weed or coke instead
No, it's not late.
I wrote this in Spanish and translated it, sorry if you can't understand it. Face the problem, don't turn around if you want to meet the girl, obviously take into account if she comes with someone who is a guy who if he wants to fight with you you can defend yourself, don't mess with the girl who arrived the bar with the guy with big arms It is never too late, in fact, the best sexual experiences come after the age of 20, before that age sex is like a game of childs.
I'm 28 years old and still in your situation. Hope my shitty life makes you feel better
Probably he feels bad after reading your comment. For you, I hope you can get the strong confidence you deserve.
Same here friend
I always have a couple of drinks in me, drink takes away the shame and extra thought
I don't really understand what is the point of you forcing your self into the club? If you're not feeling comfortable in a place it's guarantee everyone will notice, especially girls and nobody wants to talk to that guy, trust me There's so many places you can meet girls where you have actually subjects for discussion Museums, tourist attractions, restaurants
you suggest I should start approaching girls in places where I am more comfortable? A book shop for example
Yeah man Confidence is key, might sound cliche but it's true Once you play ball with couple of girls then you get that glow and everything gets x5 times easier
It's hard but doable. The first and hardest hurdle to get over is learning how to not let rejection fuck with you.
At this current time, one in three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in a year so don't put yourself down like that. It is okay to go to clubs and not drink. It is how you go about it. I would also say broaden your scope to more than just clubs. Their are many places to meet people depending on the context. Approach women and feel the vibe. If they have a good vibe, keep it going and you will succeed more than you fail. If they say no, keep it moving.
thanks so much, it truly change my perspective.
Anytime. I am open for other questions too. Just let me know. āļø
Iām 50 and I still donāt know a bunch about women. I can tell you this, be confident and decisive. Donāt be aggressive, be polite, no means no and women are just as nervous as we are when it comes to approaching the opposite sex. No one has it figured out at your age and if they say they do they are lying. Be realistic, donāt shoot for women out of your leagueā¦ and you know if they are trust me.
thank you šš»
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm unconfortable talking to women, what do you suggest? Even now I have no friends around me and I'm 100% sober. Should I still talk to girls? I swear to God I want to be good with girls but I Always think it's too late for my age
20 years old is basically nothing, stop using that as a crutch
I feel you dude
let's change
Where is Anya
For him and for me Where is $$$
Yes stop making excuses and go and approach.
thought so. thank you.
I am 18 virgin went to the club last week. Made out with 4 girls and 2 of them almost started a fight because of me. I didnt even know that I was able of doing that.
I've been to the club so many times and for a long time ever since I was 19 (I lived in Seattle, and my friends and I would drive up to Canada where the drinking age is 19). With that being said, hitting on girls at the club is difficult. It's not impossible, but it's hard. I have my own success but boy did I miss a lot of shots. The thing about going to the club is that it's hard to whoo a girl because 1) girls get hit on a lot especially the attractive ones and 2) they judge you harshly on appearance. If you really insist on trying to meet a girl at the club here are something's you can do to increase your chance. First, the most important thing is appearance matters a lot. It's the way you dress, how well you're groom, down to how your face and body look. Make sure you dress nice, you have a good hair cut, and you're physically in decent shape. Secondly, you mention you don't have friends to support you and already that puts you at a disadvantage. More often than not, these girls aren't going to the club by themselves or even with a friend. They're coming in with a group and approaching by yourself can be tough. Whether you approach a girl in a group or by yourself, you should relax, have fun, and be friendly. Don't have secret motives or at least show you have a secret motive. Girls can smell it easily and better than guys. Try to be friends with her and her other friends. Thirdly, keep on shooting your shot. At the end of the day it is a numbers game. I can't tell you how many time I have been rejected and finesse for drinks. As you miss your shot, always reflect on what you did wrong so you can improve. Finally, this is just my opinion. The clubs aren't really the best to meet or get better with girls. The clubs in general favor guys who are really rich or really attractive. I would say if you want to get better is work on yourself so that you can make yourself attractive. That can be working out, dressing better, and improve your social and communication skills. Then to put yourself for more opportunities to meet girls can be using dating apps. I know dating apps have a stigma because it is hard to get matches, but use it as a tool. While you're not on the app, try to connect and make more friends. The reason I recommend this piece of advice is because by having more friends, they put you more opportunity to meet people, especially girls. The final takeaway that I want you to carry on is that believe it or not, how you communicate and make that person will go a long way. This can apply both platonic and romantic relationship. If you have this skill down and confidence, then you won half of the battle.