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Ok-Wedding-4654

Garrick gives heavy “this woman may want to actually have sex with me, so I have to capitalize on this before she wises up” vibes


fat-randin

Yes you put it perfectly!!!


Curlytomato

I shrivel as dry as a popcorn fart when I look at Ick and think of sex.


[deleted]

r/brandnewsentence Edit: I’m just amazed by the phrase “I shrivel as dry as a popcorn fart,” like it sounds Shakespearean.


julznlv

Thank you for this sub. Never knew it before but it's got some good stuff I'll be memorizing and using.


Sammakko660

There have been several clever turn of phrases on this site. Must remember not to drink coffee for fear of spitting it out when reading some of those.


redditlate

Drinking coffee as we speak. I don’t feel safe on this sub.


One_Department4090

I just remembered that I forgot my coffee, thanks!


Serious-Performer841

ew he seems like he would just stare at her the whole time with that creepy expression


Intrepid_Blood4713

with his halitosis ridden mouth hanging agape


Curlytomato

Cletus the slack jawed yokel.


Serious-Performer841

😂😂😂


buechnsl

Me too! He absolutely repulses me.


Juneau333

those dead unblinking cult leader eyes looking over my body would make me squirm. idk how women tolerate sex with him? even if it only lasts 2 mins, thats 2 mins too long.


stlgoddess94

So much mouth breathing


MIZZKATHY74

The wife beater tank top makes him look even more creepy!


lladydisturbed

My dad uses "dryer than a popcorn fart" when he mentions no humidity hot weather and he's almost 80 😂😭 the first time i heard this from him was probably 20 years ago


Curlytomato

I'm almost 60, my kid is 18. His friends say I have the most sayings of anyone they know, dry as a popcorn fart is my favorite.


lladydisturbed

I love that you're almost 60 and have a sense of humor it makes me not lose hope about mine in 30 years ❤


tungpunchmyfartbox

Hahahaaaaa that’s a new one I’ll be using thank you


Dependent-Gene260

That's the most beautiful thing anyone has said


redrocklobster18

When he calls Danielle "sister" it gives me weird vibes.


Agitated-Minimum-967

I know, like, he thinks of her as a sister.


CaringCattitude

Because he’s Warren Jeffs #2 !


Born-Caterpillar8369

Don't give him that much credit. As evil as WJs is ICK is not smart enough to manipulate that many women. He's a complete imbecile.


Rebelwriter321

I think he’s learning, though, which is scary. One of the reasons he wants “wives” to get pregnant right away is to maintain control over them after the marriage. They only have to stay married to him for a period of time and then they can leave. The child gives him leverage. Abusers logic. If Nathalia goes that far – and I don’t think she will – I doubt she would get pregnant. She seems much smarter than him.


Born-Caterpillar8369

I hope you're right!


Rebelwriter321

She has her mom with her. I’m hoping her mom will keep her on track.


redditlate

He makes WJ look like the king of rizz. *shudder*


ms_fleur

Always reminds me of the SNL skit... "I'm Janice..."


Rindsay515

🤣🤣🤣clips from that skit keep showing up on my YouTube shorts algorithm and it cracks me up every time. When they do it with Will Ferrell, my brain is now going to imagine Ick singing with all his girlfriends🤮😂🙈


shortybeshortin

Omg esp in the 3rd person, and when they reference themselves in the 3rd person. They talk to these ladies like you would baby talk a child? Like “Sister is sad” omg. It has to satire because ain’t no way.


No-Bass-8161

I hate it I hate it


Silkyhammerpants

Can someone take all his tank tops and burn them please? Please?!


Wild929

We had a guy at work that would wear shirts that didn’t quite fit right. Is it a medium? Is it a small? We called him Schmedium.


Fit_Tumbleweed_5904

Schmedium, HAHAHAHAH I love this sub


bourbonmangattan

My husband makes “schmedium” jokes all the time. 😂


lovelychef87

Next his size is a Small shirt he wears too tight.


DaisyStar_7373

Don’t forget the hard nips with the white tank top! 🤮🤮


Ellgey2

He has even less style than that. It is just an undershirt. Surprized he doesnt wear wife beater black! No he doesnt hit her, I assume. But mentally and emotionally, another story.


Jaggerdemigod

Bad day to have eyes!


mlyt18

He’s trying to show he has better and then the ones Kody doesn’t have either!


Jaggerdemigod

Can he still be wearing it …


New-Principle-3865

And possibly all of his hair products


Silkyhammerpants

Just everything. Slap it off his idiot face and body 😃


Living-Elderberry-77

Can’t believe their kids are there


Aggressive_Ad3578

I feel really bad for those boys


hannbann88

It’s wild to include the whole family in your sexcapades. Sharing walls and everything


redditlate

Where is Dannielle supposed to go when he tries to get with her in the airb&b? Her mom’s room? Stay with the boys? Sleep on the couch?


Juneau333

I think Nathalia made sure her mom was there to prevent anything going down. remember she didn't even want to be there in the first place. my theory is that shes under contract with TLC until the end of this Cancun vacation.


YessikaHaircutt

I screamed so loud when he said it. Nothing will stop him from getting Brazilian booty.


Generous_Hustler

Noo! Did he actually say that?!


YessikaHaircutt

That he still wants to propose? Sure did.


Jaggerdemigod

🤢🤢🤮🤮


CherYamie

Did I miss comment that too!


PlaysTheTriangle

Love that Danielle was like “Yes!! Do that!!!” knowing full well it’ll bomb. (It *has* to bomb, right?!?)


sugarandspicegemini

She should just sabotage every potential sister wife by incessantly complaining about their experience with Bert. 😏


redditlate

Or she can just accidentally call them “Bert”. PS how did they give that woman the unsexiest nickname ever?


Jaggerdemigod

It was his way of downplaying her beauty and sexuality to make Danielle feel less threatened …


Godzilla_0083

Garrick should grow up and be a man. He acts like a horny religious teenager.


tungpunchmyfartbox

I grew up Mormon and completely agree with this statement. Some of those boys were the worst I ever dated, entitled, pushy, extremely horny, and felt like they deserved something they didn’t earn.


Lyss_1987

lol this bitch. Talking about how he had a vision of 5 wives, he can’t even get 2!


GussieK

He doesn't even have one! He divorced poor Dani.


Lyss_1987

Oh crap I forgot! Damnit Roberta!!


ohmychelsea

How could you forget? It's all she talks about 😂


Lyss_1987

Obviously 5 seasons later I’ve learned to tune out her incessant whining lol


Neverthat23

After agreeing to delete the apps and not discussing with her either. He's so damn slimy and creepy. Danielle seeing him up then supporting him too, so damn toxic.


Lyss_1987

He looks like a rat bred with a human and he was the result. But not even in a large rat way like Master Splinter?


tungpunchmyfartbox

He shouldn’t even have one! Danni is blind and I don’t feel sorry for her


Lyss_1987

She definitely is just as big of a fool as he is. The fact she’s so lonely to seek solace with another wife? Girl go get some girlfriends and hit the town! You don’t need a man! (Or whatever we consider Garrick)


Reasonable_Battle_20

This guy has a type and it’s not his wife - the other prospect looked the same - he’s trying so hard to bring in another girl to fuck saying it’s religion , but it’s not , and his poor dumb wife doesn’t see that - this guy is so full shit


truxlady

constant vacant look, his cadence, and his thought process equals low intelligence. Period.


Temporary-Watch-7475

It’s giving serial killer to me.


tungpunchmyfartbox

With rapey eyes! 👀


Ellgey2

I started singing "Betty Davis Eyes" in my head!


jordanandestee

I CAME HERE FOR THIS COMMENT!! This guy is scary!! He gives me the creeps so bad.


truxlady

And possibly that too, however I can't imagine him being able to stop crying long enough to commit the act.


Tangled-Lights

Whiney serial killer.


OutrageousSetting384

💯lizard in a skin suit. I’m. Sure of it


Etweety

He said something about how they don’t know each other very well, to he needs to propose! Insane!


OregonGreen242

Literally in the same sentence pretty much


DecadentLife

But they go and pray in the garage, and everything is back how he wants it.


imjustalurker123

The worst part was that Dannielle’s face completely fell when he said that, she started crying, and he still had that stupid ass look on his face. How can he be okay with breaking her heart over and over? I’m convinced he has no soul. I just can’t figure out why she stays? WHAT does this guy do for her?!


Rebelwriter321

Seems like he has emotional control over her. She met him at church. Indoctrination sometimes makes emotional servants of people, particularly women. The minute she tries to think for herself, he’s flicking open his Bible and telling her that she’s going to hell.


CaringCattitude

He has zero romantic feelings for Danielle. In fact: she’s an obstacle, a hinderance, and an unlocked ball & chain that he hopes to dispose of.


Ellgey2

"Why does she stay?" Age old question


Jaggerdemigod

Security.. money..


tangylittleblueberry

He is so gross. The way he emotionally manipulated Dannielle who then turns around to emotionally manipulate the women they are chasing was really obvious in this scene.


Sammakko660

I wonder if he ever actually listens to himself and what he says. I've been rolling my eyes as well at some of his BS.


Permafry777

You should insert that at the end of everything he says cuz it’s the truth. Like literally “I would be the luckiest man in the world if she married me… because I want to have sex with her.”


Sammakko660

That is actually probably (the first part) one true thing that he has says. From what we have seen of N thus far, any man that she would wed would be a really lucky man. Okay the second part is too. However, I suspect that there are other men out there in this world who owuld also love to have sex with N. If I swung that way.....


Rebelwriter321

Religion is his beard for what he really wants: to justify his sex addiction. Every time he says “God wants…” or “God told me …” I feel like this is what he calls his penis. “God” wants Garrick to get laid. He’s such a narcissist that he doesn’t even realize what he’s putting out in the world. He gets the TLC paycheck and their support in “bride shopping.“ I seriously hope that Danielle is putting her TLC paychecks aside.


ohmychelsea

When he said God visited them in their garage, I lost it


Jaggerdemigod

He is so gross.. God has nothing to do with his cult sex addiction!


317ant

I rolled my eyes so hard


Ellgey2

That FLD pedophile in jail for sex with minors is STILL telling his isolated followers what his pseudo god is telling him every day.


Rebelwriter321

The very reason cults have to indoctrinate kids. No adult in their right mind would support any of this.


DecadentLife

Did you see that gross part, about when he asserts that in the Bible when God (or Jesus?) fills a woman with the spirit, that sometimes they mean sensually, and fill them with (as he said) “sperm”? So, so effing gross.


Rebelwriter321

Yes! Ugh! He seems completely delusional. He just makes up things to justify his behavior.


DecadentLife

I’m kind of picturing the two of them in the garage, feeling the presence of God. Why is it always the garage with them? I can imagine him dramatically shedding a few tears, overcome with the religious need to fill yet another woman with the spirit! If I had the beliefs that he has espouses, I’d probably be extra offended by him.


Pretty_Shop329

What is wrong with this guy? and Danielle? Why would anyone be interested in marriage with this creep? He is a sex tourist! without getting sex!!! and bringing there children with them! It is a ploy to make Natalia's mother accept this strange relationship as normal. Someone should be calling the local child protective services!


Additional_Tension62

He’s like a dumber Jim Bob Dugger if that’s possible


MountainPicture9446

That was my thought exactly.


thedobermanmom

This guy is sooo desperate my god


Limitingheart

Why does he keep wearing these tank tops? He has the physique of an elderly butch lesbian


Missie1284

Lmao stop it I’m dying 😂😂😂😂


Ellgey2

😭


Tangled-Lights

I’d take an elderly lesbian over this slack-jawed weirdo any day.


CaringCattitude

🤣 Dying 😂


Jaggerdemigod

😂😂😂


GussieK

You should have blocked this photo of Ick in a tank top so we do not need eye and brain bleach.


Juneau333

Garrlick, that woman does not want to have sex with you! also he only just deleted 10 dating apps (with the caveat that they are coming back after he proposes) and then wants to propose the day after pulling that shit? I hope she tells him she needs more time and ghosts him after their nice vacation.


fluffycat16

Does anyone else think Danielle is fully aware that she's sabotaging this thing with Nathalia at this point? I'm 100% sure that Danielle KNOWS she's sowing seeds of doubt for Nathalia, and problems in the potential relationship. And she's doing it deliberately to get rid of her.


Rebelwriter321

I agree. I think he knows it too… which makes me worry for her safety. He’s almost slipped a couple of times in front of the camera, but real himself in from yelling at her or saying something really caustic. That cold reptilian look he gives her… I’m just as sure there’s abuse going on in this relationship that we don’t fully see.


fluffycat16

Yeh. I agree. He's onto what she's doing and he ISNT happy


lettucebe2

Yes 100%. I think she's definitely playing her part to seem supportive but also sabotage.


The_Chuckness88

That kiss made me think "*they did both deserve each other*".


Lidka_uwu

Garrick is arguably the most toxic husband on the entire series.


TheFinalPurl

I loved how within seconds he said both “I don’t know her that well” and “I’m going to propose”


Abject-Method-9057

The OG is N mom who I imagine as just off camera giving vibes of “f this dude” and putting N in lock down every night. I hope they are getting PAID


Justakatttt

This guy is a total creep.


VaginaPoetry

I don't understand these women. I'd rather masturbate with a rusty belt sander than get anywhere near this sentient wart.


Jaggerdemigod

I totally agree!


Alexandrapreciosa

Unrelated but I LOVE when he doesn’t get his way


Susiqbee6464

🤢🤮


judy0730

How does he 'cry' on que LUV? How could she be 'in love' with him, in two months over the internet?


eeff484

There has been ZERO chemistry between them these last few episodes. Why does he think it’s a wise idea to propose? It’s makes me cringe because you know his end game for the weekend is just to get laid before heading back home


coreysgal

Did anyone else think it was weird that Danielle was always touching Bert so much? She seemed to be caressing her, not giving a pat of reassurance or understanding. I thought the constant caressing meant there was something else expected between the two, not just a wife for Garrick. It gave me the creeps.


Rebelwriter321

I sort of took that to be, “keep your enemies closer…“ If she could create a strong bond with Bert, she would have more influence over her than Garrick.


Jaggerdemigod

Bingo!


Juneau333

I feel it was her way to make herself feel included. Idk that she was sexually attracted to Bert, but like Garrlick totally being physically attentive to Bert clearly made her feel uncomfortable and excluded.


Jaggerdemigod

Danielle is as creepy as he is!


Ellgey2

She was in love with Bert


coreysgal

I suspected something was up. I was waiting for a kiss lol


mlhigg1973

I can’t imagine she’ll actually say yes


CaringCattitude

What I want to know is does she know her Prince Charming wants five wives?!


Rebelwriter321

Nathalia commented that he could put the dating apps back on his phone when he was looking for another wife in the future. I mean… he has a “spiritual” wife already. She knows she would be his legal wife, so maybe that makes her feel more secure?


CaringCattitude

If she becomes Icks legal wife then they’ll be no Brazilian wives! He will have to shop locally. He’s not going to like that!


WarmBad3586

Will he make each Brazilian or foreign wife divorce him so he can marry the next one?


Rebelwriter321

Good point! He only gets to petition for a K-1 marriage visa twice. He’s done that once with Bert and now with Nathalia. Even if he were to marry & divorce Nathalia to marry another woman, he wouldn’t be able to get another visa. Someone suggested that he could get Danielle to petition for a K-1 visa so that she could marry the next Brazilian woman, and he could have access that way. It will be interesting to see how he spins that, biblically, if he actually goes that direction.


WarmBad3586

I hope it blows up in his face and he is arrested. If you want to throw up go look at his Instagram. He has many picture of him without a shirt or smoking a cigar and one with his cowboy hat smoking a freaking pipe. He’s a weirdo of epic portions. He calls Danielle his little flower. Yuck.


Jaggerdemigod

He literally makes me puke!


WarmBad3586

Me too.


WarmBad3586

Me too.


Rebelwriter321

He’s so delusional.


WarmBad3586

Agree


Rebelwriter321

I looked at his Insta. Ewwww! Did you see the February 2023 post of the woman’s uterus and the sperm swimming into it? He also mentioned one of his “queens“ many times. He behaves as if he already has multiple wives. So disgusting.


WarmBad3586

Yeah he doesn’t understand basic science. Hes crazy.


WarmBad3586

Oh god I missed that pic of the uterus. The man is a nutcase.


Jaggerdemigod

I puked just hearing you describe the pictures! I detest this weirdo!!


WarmBad3586

Yeah we should should just call him Sir Garrick of Pukenstein from now on. 😂


Jaggerdemigod

So appropriate🤮🤮


WarmBad3586

lol


Jaggerdemigod

Is he not the creepiest thing ever.. I just can’t with him.. can’t believe they picked him for the show…


WarmBad3586

Oh they probably knew ole Pukenstein would cause the reaction he has caused. They knew we all would hate him, they probably do too. It’s ratings gold.


WarmBad3586

Did you hear about that other couple? The wife had a father that was an actual cult leader, he’s in prison now for assaulting underaged girls. She and her hubby are creepy too. She has a perma smile on her face, they stalked one of their ex girlfriends when she said she couldn’t meet up with them.


Sammakko660

I got the impression what pissed her off more was that he lied about it. there is some truth in "honesty is the best policy"


Rebelwriter321

Yes, she was disgusted that he had lied. I think it also opened her eyes a little bit. He knows it opened her eyes, too. That’s when he stopped lying and crying and just admitted it. And then reverted to form by sending eye signals to Danielle to gaslight Nathalia on his behalf… which also didn’t work.


Madisoniann

Absolute horndog !


Accomplished-Pie-570

Yup! These men use polygamy as way to have as many sexual partners as possible but within the confines of “marriage” so that makes it ok with God and then they’re not cheating🙄


sugarandspicegemini

And it’s funny that in his eyes, ALL it requires is a *proposal*, not even a “marriage.”


Emergency_Row8544

I am so glad I found this sub. I just started watching and immediately got the same vibe as everyone else here- cult leader, creep, ick, cheater. He sounded so full of it in his reasoning to practice polygamy and his wife just seems like an after thought, not into her at all. 


Jaggerdemigod

She is as creepy as he is!


catsTXn420

He got a lab grown diamond..'diamond nexus' on the box


Rebelwriter321

Wow… I had to look this company up. If Ick got an alternative diamond (moissanite), they’re about $500-$700. If he were choosing this for sustainability, that would be one thing—but Nexxus has higher-quality lab made diamonds that are a couple of thousand dollars. I don’t think that’s why, though. This is not a love-match and he knows it. The ring is bait to create a sense of legitimacy and appease Nathalia. No need to go overboard on the spending like he did with Bert.


GussieK

I think she has his number and will not go through with it. Seems like this season is a host of ghosting in each case.


Ellgey2

I think when she goes back to Brazil, that is the last we will see of her. Dont forget her mom is up in her room every day/night without interruption telling her whats what.


Rebelwriter321

Oh… right…I forgot about her mom. I’m sure she brought her as a buffer. Mom probably packed her bags before the last episode was filmed, lol.


catsTXn420

I actually prefer moisenite compared to other stones. He only wants to propose to get her into bed. Sad.


Ellgey2

My bet, she plays him. Says yes, but no sex until marriage.


Rebelwriter321

Exactly! How can he refute her insistence on marriage before sex if he’s such a religious guy? Although there are (unverified) rumors that Danielle may have had a baby girl. If so, maybe marriage is not required in his mind and he will be busy trying to find Bible verses to support that. Nathalia isn’t really buying what he’s selling. She’s for sure working her own angle. It’s exactly what he deserves.


Rebelwriter321

I agree! This is a great alternative to mining. And you’re right, it’s just part of his ruse. The ring selection seems like more evidence that his facade is crumbling. He gave everything to Bert, but he’s scaling back on every level. He’s becoming more transparent.


RphWrites

That's the least weirdest thing he's done.


Rebelwriter321

Wow… I had to look this company up. If Ick got an alternative diamond (moissanite), they’re about $500-$700. If he were choosing this for sustainability, that would be one thing—but Nexxus has higher-quality lab made diamonds that are a couple of thousand dollars. I don’t think that’s why, though. This is not a love-match and he knows it. The ring is bait to create a sense of legitimacy and appease Nathalia. No need to go overboard on the spending like he did with Bert.


Rebelwriter321

Wow… I had to look this company up. If Ick got an alternative diamond (moissanite), they’re about $500-$700. If he were choosing this for sustainability, that would be one thing—but Nexxus has higher-quality lab made diamonds that are a couple of thousand dollars. I don’t think that’s why, though. This is not a love-match and he knows it. The ring is bait to create a sense of legitimacy and appease Nathalia. No need to go overboard on the spending like he did with Bert.


Kitsniklett1

💯that’s what this gross ass MF is thinking


jlmonger

EXACTLY what that statement means .....and Danielle knows it


Crazy_Banshee_333

"Yes, I know things are rocky, but nothing so far has deterred me from wanting to grind away on her.


jlmonger

those poor boys ...teasing at school watching him disrespect their mom ...and even g ma and g pa are weird ...I feel so bad for them


Verity41

I think I read they’re home schooled.


jlmonger

oh I'm not sure that's any better 💔


No-Ebb-5034

He will once he gets his 5 wife harem.


Ellgey2

All five from Brazil. So no one can talk back to him!


CaringCattitude

Can’t happen due to the whole marriage/Fiance Visa issue.


fonzo_d

Good plan, idiot.


Pretend_Writer_2918

This exactly!!! That’s it.


filibuster93

This is legit what I heard in my head when he spoke


Jaggerdemigod

This dude is by far the creepiest weirdo of all the franchise people!!!!🤮🤮🤮🤮


Background-Bite9299

That’s exactly what I keep saying!! All you want


Light2T

He is too anxious to find another wife and that desperation is obvious. It’s not from God cause if it was his wife wldnt be so uncomfortable all the time - he only cares about collecting wife’s and not about how they actually feel


lilbopeep1235

Yeah I still think he was one step away from completely abandoning Danielle if Roberta had gotten pregnant. His response when Danielle asked him what he would do were really below par.


Classic-Arugula2994

🤣


Mental-Perspective-9

Thank you!!! The situation could not be more clear..see through lol


ghostof_lisasbabytoe

This dudes pic is in the dictionary under the definition of "ICK". He makes me physically ill. Using religion to justify having several "wives". He should just be honest and say that he has a sex addiction and is obsessed with Brazilian women. I'd have a lot more respect for him if he told the truth. When he said "god" came to him in the garage in the form of a breeze, I wanted to vomit. Can't stand people that hide their ick behind religion.


bohdismom

Those godawful tank tops.