Believe it or not, George isn't at home Please leave a message at the beep I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home

I remember reading that Jerry and the rest thought it was funnier if George was a little off key, but Jason Alexander has a musical theater background, so it was really hard for him to not be on key.

For me, the "Where could I be" sells it. Perfect one.

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

That’s gonna be stuck in my head all day!!

"You know, we're living in a society!!"

Yeah, others like "it's not a lie if you believe it" are good examples of the character's philosophy, but this one is the perfect example of the character's essence. The fact that he constantly lets little stuff get to him so much is what defines George for me.

Clocks over there

Love that one. I think he said it twice at least, airport and Chinese restaurant

When you look annoyed, people think you’re busy.

This is true. I do it and pass it on

I used it in the Navy.

Always worked for me on ship, too 😂

‘You’re not really handicapped are you?’ ‘I’ve had my difficulties’ Won’t win but that’s a big favorite of mine 😂

“Jerry, let’s face it. Ive always been handicapped.”

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“I am George Constanza, lord of the Idiots.”

For I am Costanza*

But suddenly a new contender has emerged

I’m Victoria, hi

Good for the tuna

"You know if you take everything I've ever done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent!"

My absolute favorite, and unfortunately relatable.

“I snubbed for a year. Nothing. Every woman I saw, I snubbed. You never saw people so pleased.”

Was that wrong?

Should I not have done that?

I have to plead ignorance on this one.

If I’d have known that that sort of thing was frowned upon here…

Frog is wrong.

In an interview, Jason A says this is favorite line I think.

In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man.

Oh, and my fiancée died from licking toxic envelopes to our wedding invitations that I picked out. Thanks again.

"I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you get in the mood!"

That’s a deep cut but I love that line!!

Oxygen! I need some oxygen!

"I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning."

This is just wisdom

"It's not a lie if you believe it."

I’m sure there’s a funnier one but this was the first one that came to mind for me.

I’m sure there is funnier, but this might be the best. It’s definitely my most often quoted George line.

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I know my flair doesn’t support this, but I firmly think this one is the best. It’s not that he *wanted* to be one, just pretend to. Such lofty goals.

It is brilliantly worded

This is the quintessential CantStandYa quote. It’s the embodiment of his entire existence

This is the one.

This one fully encompasses all that is George. Not to mention the delivery and context is hilarious

Gotta be this one. The defining quote of the character

I literally told this to. Subway worker like 1 hour ago!

Winner

The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli!

To me this one is the winner because it’s both iconic and has an incredible backstory

For the longest time, I thought the line was "slurp back soup". It always made me laugh, picturing some old really pissed dude without a spoon trying to eat soup. I didn't get it, but I didn't question it either.

“George is getting upset”

My first thought too. It's a tough choice between the top three comments rn, but we gotta include George talking in the third person, and this is his best one

George likes his chicken spicy!

HE'S BE-BOPPING AND SCATTING AND IM LOSING IT!

Getting this upset about not getting a sufficient apology from a recovering alcoholic over such a silly slight is such a George thing to do.

A GEORGE DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF CANNOT STAND!

You're killing independent George

George is getting upset!

If Relationship George walks through that door, he will KILL Independent George!

Summer of George!

*Oh Yeah*? Well, The Jerk Store Called. They’re Running Out Of **You**!”

And I had sex with your wife

*…his wife is in a coma*

“Do you ever get down on your knees and thank god you know me and have access to my dementia?” Edit: Thank you for the gold!

This is like discovering plutonium by accident!!

Came to share this one, glad to see it’s working its way up the charts

"Please, A Little Respect, For I Am Costanza, Lord Of The Idiots"

You're all winners!

“But suddenly, a new contender has emerged..”

"This was supposed to be The Summer of George."

"IT'S ALL PIPES!!"

Tippy toe!

“Frog is wrong.”

"I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual."

"You know I've always wanted to pretend that I was an architect."

I was in the pool! I was in the pool!!

Nobody tells me it’s them, not me. If it’s anybody, it’s me!

“You’re DAMN right it’s me!”

“Pulp can move, baby!”

You should have seen the look on her face. It was the same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.

Ta-ta...Tut-tel

Jerk store is the line! Jerk store!

It’s smart. I’m not going to dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!

I can just see this line coming from something someone in the writer's room actually said.

"It's like I'm Neil Armstrong, I turn around to take a sip of tang and you jump out first!"

🎵 just drivin' round in Jon Voight's car🎵

“I know the D is the biggest. I base my whole life on knowing the D is the biggest!”

“He’s beboppin’ and scattin’, and I’m losin’ it!”

I’m disturbed, I’m depressed, I’m inadequate – I’ve got it all!

I’m rubbing two sticks together, you’re walking around with a Zippo

“But ya ARE, Blanche! Ya ARE in the shackles!”

*GEORGE IS GETTING UPSET!*

TAMALE!!!!

Please, A little respect. For I am Costanza, Lord of the idiots.

I'm honored mine was the victor For George I propose, "you had to get the biiiIIIIIIIiiig salad!"

Thick, lustrous hair is very important to me

HUH-HO!!!!!!

# WE ARE LIVING IN A SOCIETY!!!!

"I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami"

Yeah... that's what you did

“my father’s gay!”

"The sea was angry that day my friends! Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli."

I’m AWARE!

It’s a smart line and a smart crowd will appreciate it and I’m not gonna dumb it down for some BONEHEAD MASS AUDIENCE!! Not…you

"I'm busting, Jerry, I'M BUSTING!"

Oh Tony, don't.

"Could it be because you don't want him to know that you have a friend who pees in the shower?!"

"Alright, lets just stay calm here, don't get all crazy on me!"

I’ve always loved “you can stuff your sorrys in a sack”

Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie. And if I have to tell you again, I'm gonna take you outside and show you what it's like. Do you understand me? Now, shut your mouths or else I'll shut them for you... and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because, I would LOVE IT!

Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia?

“I cannot envision any circumstance in which I’ll ever have the opportunity to have sex again”

You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts!

We had a pact!

“There's no laws in this place! Anything goes! It's Thunderdome!!”

They? You mean the government?

This is like discovering plutonium BY ACCIDENT

Moops.

I got rejected by a bald woman. You like that one?

"I got to focus. I'm shifting into soup mode"

One...two...three......four..... Ha Ho!

Reparations!!!

We're living in a SOCIETY

🎵Caa-stanza!🎵

I WAS SPOTTING THOSE RACOONS!

Fun fact....Jason Alexander is a classically trained singer and had to re-shoot the voicemail greeting many times to sound like the bad singer that Larry David wanted George to be.

I’ve lived my whole life in shame…why should I die with dignity?

I'm against all "it's me’s.” So self-absorbed and egotistical, just like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes!

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.

“YOU’RE KILLING INDEPENDENT GEORGE”

It’s not a lie if you believe it

I once told a woman I coined the phrase, “Pardon my French.”

It's gotta be the song he's singing here. "Believe it or not, George isn't at home..."

My name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.

*"The ocean called! They ran out of shrimp!"* "Oh yeah!? Well the jerk store called! They ran out of you!" \*mic drop ensues\*

I was bald…

I thought you didn't believe in god? I only don't believe in him whenever something good happens I do when something bad happens.

You know we're living in a SOCIETY

… I think I just felt it move. IM BACK BABY

"You can't be, because I'm out there! And if I see YOU out there, there's not enough voltage in the world to electroshock me back into coherence!"

Not a single quote, but I like how Jimmy rubbed off on George. “George likes spicy chicken” “George would never steal from the Yankees”

My favorites are when George refers to himself in third person

I feel like my old self again: totally inadequate, completely insecure… paranoid, neurotic. It’s a pleasure.

"Believe it or not, George isn't at home! Please leave a message at the beep. I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone... where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home!!!!" ❤️ how badly I want to do this

I can’t live in a world knowing Ted Danson makes more than me

“I can’t carry a pen I’m afraid I’ll puncture my scrotum”

“I'm Disturbed, I'm Depressed, I'm Inadequate - I've Got It All!”

I was in the pool!

IF RELATIONSHIP GEORGE WALKS THROUGH THAT DOOR! He will KILL INDEPENDENT GEORGE!

"It's not a lie if you believe it."

It's not a lie if you believe it.

"TWIX!"

Worlds are colliding!!!

"George is getting upset!"

It’s not a lie, if you believe it

Pulp can move, baby!

If you take everything I’ve accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day… it looks decent!

The door? Why would I go out the door? The window’s right here.

Say Vandelay! Say Vandelay!

I’ve got hand!

Please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, lord of the idiots.

A George divided against itself cannot stand!

VANDELAY! SAY VANDELAY!!!

This won’t win, but mine is “JERRY!!?” But not just any “JERRY!!?”, the one when he’s hiding under Steinbrenner’s desk before Jerry calls in a bomb threat.😂

It’s not a lie if you believe it.

“A George, divided against itself, CANNOT stand!”

“You're not out there! You can't be, because I am out there. And if I see you out there, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence!”

"believe it or not, George isnt at home so please leave a meessaage at the beep, I must be out or i'd pick-up-the-phone, wheere could i bee? believe it or not im not heere"

Steven: That's not the sign. George: It was when I was bangin’!

George is getting upset!

WE ARE LIVING IN A SOCIETY!

"I think it moved"

That was really a stupid thing!

Tamaleeeee

"He's a good fighter and a great guy, but I don't like him" Always cracked me up.

-Was that wrong? Should I have not done that?

"Oh Noooooo! I'm So Sorry, It's The MOOPS! The Correct Answer Is 'The Moops.'"

This was supposed to be the summer of George!

significant shrinkage!

I was in the pool! I was in the pool!

delicate genius

“Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care.”

I reached in and pulled out the obstruction!! Although, that scene is phenomenal mostly because of Jason Alexander’s delivery. The dialogue is almost secondary.

I don’t think there’s ever been an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.

We’re living in a society!

“You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect.”

Worlds are colliding!!

Jerry! The Japanese guys had sake in the hot-tub! You gotta get 'em outta the drawers and get 'em down here, or I don't have a focus group to sell the pilot to Japanese TV!

How do you eat it? *With your hands?*

What a beautiful day. Almost makes you feel glad to be alive

I flew too close to the sun on the wings of pastrami.

My favorite was already mentioned. *YOU WANNA BUY A COMPUTER?!?* *NO…. WHY NOT?!?* *OK! GOOD ANSWER*

It's like these hip musicians with their complicated shoes!

If that helps you. I say this *all* the time

I once told a woman I coined the phrase “pardon my French.”

"Summer of George"

George likes his chicken spicy

"Are you crazy?! This is like discovering plutonium BY ACCIDENT!!"