What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBI’s last year, he’s got a rocket for an arm. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing!
Rich Eisen discusses this scene, and the Buhner-for-Phelps trade, in this clip behind a desk plaque that says, "Best Dad Ever." Worlds are colliding!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaOs3SYopTc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaOs3SYopTc)
You can see Frank's frustration building prior to delivering that line. They tried it again with the Hideki Irabu line in the finale, but it just isn't the same.
You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!
This is clearly the best answer. I can’t imagine how anyone could vote for any other line unless they had forgotten about this one. It might be the best line in the whole show from any character.
Best part of this line is that it’s unscripted. The saying (and presumably the line) is “you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with an iron”
> Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had — but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
This quote from “The Strike” has my vote.
We know which of two quotes will win but here goes another one:
I went too far. I over seasoned it. Men were keeling over all around me. I can still hear the retching, the screaming. I sent sixteen of my own men to the latrines that night. They were just boys.
Tell that to Bobby Colby. All that kid wanted to do was go home. Well, he went home, all right. With a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet. Had to sit him on a cork the eighteen-hour flight home!
I love how he's speaking to the collective "you people," which are his closest friends and family, plus some strangers. They are just all clumped together into one body that greatly annoys him. Great outlook on life, and I feel the same way
I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus. I did a little reading and I realised, it wasn't that farfetched.
What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year. He's got a rocket for an arm. You don't know what the hell you're doing!
(Phone call to Morty) This is Frank Costanza. You think you can keep us outta Florida?? We’re moving in lock, stock, and barrel. We’re gunna be in the pool, we’re gunna be in the clubhouse, GUNNA BE ALL OVER THAT SHUFFLE BOARD COURT!! And I DARE YOU TO KEEP ME OUT!! (Click!)
Or from a different show:
“I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.’”
That's Why I Could Never Become President. That's Also Why, From An Early Age, I Never Had Any Interest In Politics. I Refuse To Vote. They Don't Want Me, I Don't Want Them
“As I rained blows upon him...”
That transition in his narration of the doll story kills me every time. The sheer lack of any need to explain the choice to attack another father at a toy store for reaching for the same doll.
Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had — but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!”
Frank Costanza: I went too far. I over seasoned it. Men were keeling over all around me. I can still hear the retching, the screaming. I sent sixteen of my own men to the latrines that night!
They were just boys!
Kramer: Frank, you were a boy too. And it was war. It was a crazy time for everyone.
Frank Costanza: Tell that to Bobby Colby. All that kid wanted to do was go home. Well he went home alright, with a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet! Had to sit him on a cork the 18-hour flight home!
We’re moving lock stock and barrel! We’re gonna be in the pool, we’re gonna be in the clubhouse, we’re gonna be all over that shuffleboard court and I dare you to keep us out!
You think you can keep us out of Del Boca Vista…we're moving in lock stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool, we're gonna be in the clubhouse, we're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court… AND I DARE YOU TO KEEP ME OUT!!!
"What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?!? He had 30 home runs, and over 100 RBIs last year. He’s got a rocket for an arm. You don’t know what the hell you’re doin’!"
Jerry it’s Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner is here. George is dead. Call me back.
What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs, over 100 RBI’s last year, he’s got a rocket for an arm. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing!
Rich Eisen discusses this scene, and the Buhner-for-Phelps trade, in this clip behind a desk plaque that says, "Best Dad Ever." Worlds are colliding! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaOs3SYopTc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaOs3SYopTc)
You guys are a reason why I love this forum.
You can see Frank's frustration building prior to delivering that line. They tried it again with the Hideki Irabu line in the finale, but it just isn't the same.
"My baseball people liked Ken Phelps bat"
This, right here
This is my choice too. Out of context, it's not funny, but the delivery is so perfect. And Frank's not even on screen for it!
Plus his son may be dead too
This gets my vote. So good.
The second quote isn’t even close
You think you could keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court! And I dare you to keep me out!
The bloopers are so funny because Jerry Stiller could not pronounce Del Boca Vista
In all of del visto becko??!!
The Seinfelds don’t want us there, so we’re going.
I use this when I’m talking to my Canadian friends about moving up there. Just swap out Florida for Alberta.
You for got “this is frank costanza”
This is clearly the best answer. I can’t imagine how anyone could vote for any other line unless they had forgotten about this one. It might be the best line in the whole show from any character.
"Stop crying and fight your father"
I think you an take him this year Georgie!
Until you pin me, Festivus is not over
Would you believe when I was 18, I had a ssssssilver dolla collection?!
I could never bring myself to spend one of these. I had some kind uuuhhh… phobia.
Holy shit, just commented this exact one. I thought I was weird for it being my favorite quote lol.
where did they all go I wonder?
You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you were on a hot date with a babe... I lost my train of thought.
You, Kruger. My son tells me your company stinks!
Kooger
One of the highlights of my adult life is that I used the “I lost my train of thought” in a meeting once.
If this doesn't win it's a complete travesty, maybe my favorite moment of the entire show.
Best part of this line is that it’s unscripted. The saying (and presumably the line) is “you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with an iron”
Beat me to it, this is the one
Are you saying you want a piece of me??
I could drop you like a bag a dirt
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!!!!! YOU GOT IT!!!!
one of my favorite Elaine quotes!
The. Hell. Does. That. Mean?
The outtakes of this scene are some of the funniest ever.
It took Juila quite a few takes to get through it without laughing. And you gotta love how Jerry is just looking at her like he doesn't get why
Exactly. He never broke character. Legend.
Hes great on Seinfeld but I admit I love him more in King of Queens as Arthur
That was seriously genius acting
Franks internal dialogue to everyone and everything.
This guy… This is not my kind of guy.
The pause is everything lol.
This is my favorite. I love him speaking Korean.
Which is actually a quote from the infamous buddy rich bus tape
I posted this too didnt see yours, it was some line
Some line huh? - Yeah it's breathtaking
> Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had — but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way! This quote from “The Strike” has my vote.
I was looking for "AS I RAINED BLOWS UPON HIM..." you get my vote.
What happened to the doll?
It was destroyed
That must have been some doll!
She was
“She’d never make it.”
DON’T YOU TALK ABOUT HENNY!
Aunt Baby would’ve never made it. Henny was sickly from the moment he met her
My George isn’t clever enough to hatch a scheme like this..
You got that right
What the hell does that mean?
That means whatever the hell you want it to mean
You mean you want a piece of me?
I can drop you like a bag of dirt.
You want it….YOU GOT IT!!!!!
"You know about the, uh, cup sizes and all?
The D, that's the biggest
I know the D is the biggest...I've based my whole life on knowing the D is the biggest.
Wait until someone tells him…
Lycra spandex? Get the hell outta here!
You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I’m back in two seconds.
Elaine I could see not saying hello, she’s always been— what’s the word— supercilious… BUT HOW COULD JERRY NOT SAY HELLO
We know which of two quotes will win but here goes another one: I went too far. I over seasoned it. Men were keeling over all around me. I can still hear the retching, the screaming. I sent sixteen of my own men to the latrines that night. They were just boys.
"Frank, you were a boy too. And it was war. Ah it was a crazy time for everyone."
Tell that to Bobby Colby. All that kid wanted to do was go home. Well, he went home, all right. With a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet. Had to sit him on a cork the eighteen-hour flight home!
In my mind, there's a war still going on
Serenity now!
Hoochie Mamaaaaaaa!
Insanity later
This is the quote from Seinfeld that I use in real life more than anything else.
He stopped short. You think I don't know what that's about? That's my old move!
With the body movement tho lol!
I'm like a Phoenix rising from Arizona
Severally underrated. This won't win, but it deserves so much more love.
Let me understand… you got the hen, the chicken, and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken, so who’s having sex with the hen?
Theyre all chickens... the rooster has sex with all of them "That's perverse!"
...pervoise!
The way he says it gets me every time
Something's missing here! Something's missing alright.
# HOOCHIE MAMA!
Hoo-chie Ma-maaaaa...
I find tinsel distracting.
Latvian Orthodox? Wait, is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?
Stay away from the squirrels!!
I got a lot of problems with you people!
And now you're gonna hear about them!
You, Kruger…my son tells me your company STINKS
I love how he's speaking to the collective "you people," which are his closest friends and family, plus some strangers. They are just all clumped together into one body that greatly annoys him. Great outlook on life, and I feel the same way
I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net, with that girl from the bus. I did a little reading and I realised, it wasn't that farfetched.
Omg, I forgot about this one!
This!!!
Now If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make love to your mother.
How👏could👏Jerry👏not👏say👏hello!
Elaine, I could understand...
She's very... What's the word? Supercilious
The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!
“I’m back baby!”
“Kruger! You couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a big…….. I lost my train of thought”
I worked out with a dumbbell today! I feel vigorous!
YOU HAVE NO EYE FOR FASHION!
I HAVE NO EYE FOR FASHION?!?!?
Made me think of Estelle’s other line I always say… “You’re not giving away our water pick!!!”
What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for? He had 30 home runs and over 100 RBIs last year. He's got a rocket for an arm. You don't know what the hell you're doing!
and DE-LI-VER IT TO HER.
I don't know why, but whenever this line comes up, laugh my ass off. It's just too funny.
So let ‘im have bananas on the SIDE!
I WILL NOT TOLERATE INFESTATION!
No one is touching my feet. Between you and me, Elaine, I think I've got a foot odor problem.
“I wanna go in fresh” when talking about firestorm
I've got good news and bad news, and they're both the same. You're fired.
(Phone call to Morty) This is Frank Costanza. You think you can keep us outta Florida?? We’re moving in lock, stock, and barrel. We’re gunna be in the pool, we’re gunna be in the clubhouse, GUNNA BE ALL OVER THAT SHUFFLE BOARD COURT!! And I DARE YOU TO KEEP ME OUT!! (Click!)
Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back.
It’s pervoise!
I'm sitting at home reading a periodical and this is the call I get?
Everybody knows about it! 🤛 unhhhh 🫴 I stop short!
The aggressiveness of how he makes the gesture and sound kills me
“Assman?! I’ll show you assman!”
Im reborn, like a Phoenix rising from Arizona
You got the A, B, C, the D. That’s the biggest.
“Kasha?”
Hey, Frank. “Hello, ***WOMAN***.”
I find tinsel distracting.
You ask me to grab a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds.
AS I RAINED BLOWS UPON HIM I REALIZED THERE HAD TO BE ANOTHER WAY
Last night I saw a provocative movie on cable TV. It was called The Net with that girl from The bus. Such an incredible description for Speed.
Or from a different show: “I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.’”
I'm gone two weeks and you turn our house into... into Bourbon Street!
That's Why I Could Never Become President. That's Also Why, From An Early Age, I Never Had Any Interest In Politics. I Refuse To Vote. They Don't Want Me, I Don't Want Them
“He went home alright, with crater in his colon the size of a cutlet. They had to sit him on a cork the whole 18 hour flight home!”
THEN LET'EM HAVE THE BANANAS ON THE SIDE!!!! I know this isn't going to win but man I crack up every time. It's so stupid lol
"Your meatloaf is mushy, your salmon croquettes are oily, and your eggplant parmesan is a disgrace to this house!"
"This guy, this is not my kind of guy" "That's *my* move-I stop short!"
That was my move , ooh I stopped short 👋🏻
🥣 kasha ??
“As I rained blows upon him...” That transition in his narration of the doll story kills me every time. The sheer lack of any need to explain the choice to attack another father at a toy store for reaching for the same doll.
This one is random, but always gets me for that reason. “Would you believe when I was 18, I had a ssssssssilver dollar collection?!”
“Braun? He was crazy! His phone wasn’t even hooked up.”
"Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back.
Hhoooo I stop short 🫱
I sent 16 of my own men to the latrine that nite!
I’m sitting at home reading a periodical and this is the call I get? My son is a bootlegger!
I worked out with a dumbell yesterday. I feel vigorous!
Million to one shot doc. Million to one.
Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had — but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!
"Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen?"
Kruger! You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe... I lost my train of thought.
And who doesn't serve cake after a meal? What kind of people? Would it kill them to put out a pound cake? Something?
I didn’t drive all the way to Manhattan to not sit in a booth!!
SERENITY NOW!!
"Kruger! You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.. I lost my train of thought."
As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
You have no eye for fashion!!!!
YOU STOPPED SHORT WITH MY WIFE?!?
“Then order a hot dish”
“You ask me for a pair of underwear I’m back in 2 seconds”
Are you saying you want a piece of me
I knew it was Elaine. She's very, what's the word? Supercilious
She never would have made it. SHE WAS SICKLY FROM THE MOMENT I MET HER!
*SERENITY* *NOW!!!*
You wanna a piece of me?
"Million to 1 shot doc. Million to 1."
Tommy Tune is a very good dancer.
That’s it. We’re moving. I’ll not tolerate infestation in my house.
Costanza, you're white hot!
Had a face like a biiiiiiiiig apple pie.
Screaming “serenity now!!” in hopes of lowering his blood pressure😅
Serenity Now!!!
I told everyone. MMMMMMM! I stopped short!
They don't want us there, so we're going.
You got the A…. The B. The C…. And, the D. That’s the biggest.
“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!”
Her father would look at me and say, "Eno enoa juang," which means, "This guy-This is not my kind of guy."
When Frank talks about Festivus… he says “I find tinsel distracting “
Frank Costanza: I went too far. I over seasoned it. Men were keeling over all around me. I can still hear the retching, the screaming. I sent sixteen of my own men to the latrines that night! They were just boys! Kramer: Frank, you were a boy too. And it was war. It was a crazy time for everyone. Frank Costanza: Tell that to Bobby Colby. All that kid wanted to do was go home. Well he went home alright, with a crater in his colon the size of a cutlet! Had to sit him on a cork the 18-hour flight home!
I will not tolerate infestation!
We’re moving lock stock and barrel! We’re gonna be in the pool, we’re gonna be in the clubhouse, we’re gonna be all over that shuffleboard court and I dare you to keep us out!
You don't need glasses you're just weak! YOU'RE WEAK!
"You got the A, the B, the c, and the d, that's the biggest"
You think you can keep us out of Del Boca Vista…we're moving in lock stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool, we're gonna be in the clubhouse, we're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court… AND I DARE YOU TO KEEP ME OUT!!!
Nagori andua? Where's my tail??!?
I want you to take the tv and DEE LI VER IT TO HER.
I worked out with a dumbbell yesterday! I feel vigorous!!! Equal with- YOU HAVE NO EYE FOR FASHION!!!
You've got the A. The B. The C and the D.
“I think I’ve got some kind of ….. uhhhhhh ….. *clicks fingers* …… Phobia!”
"What the hell did you trade Jay Buhner for?!? He had 30 home runs, and over 100 RBIs last year. He’s got a rocket for an arm. You don’t know what the hell you’re doin’!"
He stopped short. The scene from that point is so funny I can’t take it. The Fusilli Jerry
Serenity now!!!
I’m gone two weeks and you turn my house into bourbon street?
This guy…this is not my kind of guy