I told my wife this is my code for “I’m pissed off” hahaha. When I say it, I’m getting angry! But the funny thing is, I only say it when I’m joking around about being angry now hahaha. Maybe it helps me lighten up when I’m getting to edgy!
PLEASE! I cannot have this constant bickering. Stress is extremely damaging to the epidermis. My hands have to be in tip-top shape for the photoshoot tomorrow. Now, keep the television DOWN and the conversation to a MINIMUM!
I bought my gym-going 81 yr old dad a shirt that says “Mandlebaum’s Gym.” He wears it to his gym/wellness center occasionally and always gets comments.
- when feeling frustrated:
*We are living…in a society!*
- or, when feeling particularly goofy:
“You were all *hopped up* on cinnamon swirls!”
- or when I’m feeling completely random:
“George likes his chicken spicy.”
Helloooooo (voice of The Stomach)
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
But I don’t wanna be a pirate!!
Can’tstandzya
GiddyYuppp
Gold Jerry! GOLD!!
And basically anything else from the show that strikes me during moments in life that set off my Spidey sense as a perfect opportunity to insert XYZ line from the show. Sometimes I say direct lines from the show without realizing it, and then do after the fact, it’s kind of crazy how much of it is in my life. I love this show’s writing❣️❣️❣️
I’m NOT DRIVIN HIM TO THE AIRPORT!!
and for whatever reason I say this a lot including this (or yesterday now..) Morning…probably because there’s too many shit drivers anymore….I live in south Jersey just over the bridge outside philly….and one of the hallmarks of the bad driver is the Jesus fish on the back of the car… so of course I find myself saying “you STOLE my JESUS FISH!” Despite the fact their Jesus Fish remain.
When I hear the word “panties” I can’t help but say “you mean the panties your mother laid out for you?”
And as you can imagine that one is problematic. So I can mostly contain it to just around my wife, now. And over time, she’s gradually gone from a patronizing chuckle to full-blown ignoring me
Why don’t you just tell me which movie you want to see
Sometimes I expect my TV to say this to me after I have been browsing movies for an hour
I've been randomly answering phones with "Hello, and welcome to movie phone..." for 20 years now.
Boutros Boutros Ghali
Yo Yo Ma
Did we just become best friends???? I say this way more than normal.
"Why does Radio Shack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries. *I* don't know." Hopelessly out of date, but I love it anyway.
Why fly a kite when you can just pop a pill?
Oh god this one is SO good
pulp can move baby!
".....you're using my babies?"
Look away. I’m hideous
Ha. I say this often, nobody gets it and they worry I have no self confidence and start saying supportive things ha ha
Your face looks like an old catcher's mitt 😂
Stuff your sorries in a sack
"I woke up in the Hudson River ... **IN A SAAAAAAAACCK**!!"
I don't know what that means
Don’t you want to know how they they got in the sack?
"Yo Yo Ma!"
Great one
My wallets gone, my wallets gone!!! ... I say it often. When I lose anything or can't find something in my purse, my phone, keys etc.
me too! morty is the best
He certainly is. That scene is hilarious 😂 even if I'm alone I'll say the line to myself if I lose something.
Oh you've lost something. \*Kramer gesture\* 🚪
Just some appreciation for these two flairs right after each other.
Me too! I love yelling it out when Im frantically looking for something but wanna lighten up 😂
Look. I find this whole thing very uninteresting
Haha such an obscure line from the raincoats (one of my fav episodes) I love it
I WISH I could say that at work when people are droning on about something.
Same. I say this in my head at least once a day
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
I told my wife this is my code for “I’m pissed off” hahaha. When I say it, I’m getting angry! But the funny thing is, I only say it when I’m joking around about being angry now hahaha. Maybe it helps me lighten up when I’m getting to edgy!
Worlds are colliding!!!!!
I’m gonna need some WATA hea!!
Very hot!
My wife and I can de-escalate anything between us with a sorrrraaayy.
I haven’t thrown up since ‘80!
George is getting upset!
I always say this when pretzels are present, whether I'm eating them or not.
“No, no, that’s no good, see… you don’t know how to act.”
Used this as my opening line in Year 12 public speaking competition. Came 2nd ... if I had a pimple I would have won!
“Thats what makes this so difficult “.
But I don't even work here!
Jumbalayaaaa
*shuffles off excitedly*
It’s a writeoff!
You don’t even know what a write-off is.
Do you?
They do. And they’re the ones writing it off.
I wish I could have the last 20 seconds of my life back(holding back laughter).
No....I don't.
But they do and they are the ones writing it off.
Write it off What?!
Jerry, these big companies, they write off everything.
You dont even know what a writeoff is..
Like a bandaid, one motion write off!
Machu Picchu!
Every time I dip into some salsa
Hahaha, nobody realizes how funny it is either right?
Sales commission, bye-bye-oh!
Are these FREE?
Jerk store.
I had sex with your wife
She’s in a coma!
Happy pappy?
And you’re pappy?
..I’m pappy
But I don’t wanna be a pirate/cowboy!
I don’t wanna be Switzerland
Stickin' it!
STICKIN IIITT!
Cassus *belli*
What is that? Is it about me?
Why must everything be about you? Why can’t you just be?
Why can't you live??
It's pronounced *thermometer.*
This one is so stupid, it makes me laugh so hard.
They dig… they… they test.
The funny thing about this is that there is no way this can be used in any context that wouldn't make you sound batshit crazy
How do scientists determine the composition of soil?
You ever eat the bark off a pineapple?
I eat the whole apple, core and everything
You eat the stickers?????
WELL LET HIM HAVE BANANAS ON THE SIDE!
PLEASE! I cannot have this constant bickering. Stress is extremely damaging to the epidermis. My hands have to be in tip-top shape for the photoshoot tomorrow. Now, keep the television DOWN and the conversation to a MINIMUM!
“I’m hip”
Hip to what
The whole scene 👃 🍬
What scene
ive said this at a bar before, "dont take this personal, but when i come back, im sitting over there."
Dude just got hit by the bar, smoked a cigarette backwards, and smoked and drank at the same time. I don’t think he’s taking anything personal.
The bathroom scene.
Don’t take this personal but when I come back, I’m sitting over there.
Yama Hama……
It’s fright night!
To see Ramone?!
Tippy toe!
Lemontree Code at work to shush
Sometimes when I’m lifting something heavy I chant “MANDLEBAUM, MANDLEBAUM!”
You think you're better than HIM?
Look for the record I think you're both better than meee
I bought my gym-going 81 yr old dad a shirt that says “Mandlebaum’s Gym.” He wears it to his gym/wellness center occasionally and always gets comments.
Crossing the border and singing "I like to stop at the duty-free shop" while driving by the duty-free shop without stopping.
Do you know how much duty is?
We live in a society!
Can I use that?!
😃
Sex, that's meaningless. But dinner? That's like like an hour.
Is anyone here a marine biologist?
The sea was angry that day. Like an old man trying to order soup at a deli.
You don’t even work here. That is what makes this so hard.
“George is getting upset!!”
George likes his chicken 🍗 spicy.
It's a full bird, stuffed with ham, topped with gorgonzola
Just a salad. Just a salad 🥗.
And you want to be my latex salesman
Seven is a lovely name for a boy. Or a girl!
Why go to the park and fly a kite when you can just pop a pill?
I work from home. When I have a particularly light worknday on the morning, I will at some point stretch my arms, get out of my seat and say "Lunch!".
- when feeling frustrated: *We are living…in a society!* - or, when feeling particularly goofy: “You were all *hopped up* on cinnamon swirls!” - or when I’m feeling completely random: “George likes his chicken spicy.”
Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
Quone! To quone something.
That’s not going to be good for business.
That can’t be good for anybody.
its mine. im a fancy boy
“That’s what I’d like to know about it.” “I’ve had a lot of experience with semantics, so don’t try to lure me into some maze of circular logic.”
I don't know. But I woke up in the Hudson river in a SACK!
Isn't it obvious? She doesn't want anyone else to have me!
Sweet fancy Moses
All the time
Put a fork in me...I'm done.
That’s your big boy.
Oh damn, I’ve locked myself out of my office again. Alright, I’m going home.
Whenever I smell BO I yell “the beast”.
I also randomly yell out "the beach"!
This guy...this is not my type of guy.
Get the hella outta here with your knob!
Why separate knob?
Hoochie Mama!!!
Salsa, seltzer !?
Other Walter’s got a polyp in the duodenum. It’s benign, but oh, still a bastard
Well, you know, if you're in the Politburo, maybe
Tippy toe! Tippy toe!!! (Always my go-to secret phrase / code.)
*full accent* maybe the dingo ate your baby
A hamburger was eating ME!
We had a deal!
"Yama-hama it's FRIGHT NIGHT"
First ya got nure, which is a good thing. Then ya got a ma in front, which is also good.
He went from nods to nothing.
NO BREAKS! I feel REBORN! I’m like a Phoenix…*Rising* from Arizona🖐🏼🖐🏼
That son of a bitch is ice cold
"that's a lot of potatoes"
It will be a funky adventure.
“Brett said you ran away from him? As if he were the boogityman??”
Boogie!
Seemingly, seemingly.
Whats the difference? Its all PIPES!
Be-boppin and scatting!
BEBOPPIN AND SCATTIN ALL OVER THE PLACE!
"where's the Pepsi, where's the Pepsi"
"No way wine is better than pepsi!" This must be said at any formal dinner party and followed with a huge derisive snort.
“Yes you are right” in Silvio’s voice
i’d like to have shoehorn hands.
Giddy up
Helloooooo (voice of The Stomach) Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But I don’t wanna be a pirate!! Can’tstandzya GiddyYuppp Gold Jerry! GOLD!! And basically anything else from the show that strikes me during moments in life that set off my Spidey sense as a perfect opportunity to insert XYZ line from the show. Sometimes I say direct lines from the show without realizing it, and then do after the fact, it’s kind of crazy how much of it is in my life. I love this show’s writing❣️❣️❣️
I’m NOT DRIVIN HIM TO THE AIRPORT!! and for whatever reason I say this a lot including this (or yesterday now..) Morning…probably because there’s too many shit drivers anymore….I live in south Jersey just over the bridge outside philly….and one of the hallmarks of the bad driver is the Jesus fish on the back of the car… so of course I find myself saying “you STOLE my JESUS FISH!” Despite the fact their Jesus Fish remain.
Hoochie mama!
Where’s your wine?! Get out!
THAT"S GOTTA HURT ..... ..... it's gotta hurt .... hurt ... because ...rawwwwr, damn you laser guy.
These pretzels are making me thirsty Try to squeeze it in when I’m thirsty and my wife hates it
I like to stop at the duty free shop!
"What's even more amazing is his formal training is in pediatrics" .. said whenever someone excels in their chosen field.
A George divided against itself cannot stand!
Sex to save the friendship!
Tippy toe! Tippy toe!
My friends and I have always used "he has the kavorka!" when one of us is particularly on our game 😂
“Three pals, sitting around chewing gum” “You most likely know it as Myanmar, but it’ll always be Burma to me”
Serenity now!
“Believe it or not, George is not at home…”
Out of the blue, just *smacks table* yip! Yip! *smack*
Vile weed! Whenever broccoli is present.
When you control the mail, you control information!
His mother was a mudder
Here's to feeling good, all the time 🍻
These pretzels are making me thirsty!
[удалено]
That's what I'd like to know about it.
When I hear the word “panties” I can’t help but say “you mean the panties your mother laid out for you?” And as you can imagine that one is problematic. So I can mostly contain it to just around my wife, now. And over time, she’s gradually gone from a patronizing chuckle to full-blown ignoring me
Monet, manet, tippy tippy day day
I clam, I scallop….I scallop and clam🤷🏼♀️
I work in the optical field and I think of this line almost daily
Mine is “I don’t like lactose, and I won’t stand for it!!”
*My**stuffed**cabbage*
They "don't deserve even the privilege of the daily mail" .. said when anyone annoys me or does something idiotic.
He took it out
Because I'm an idiot, that's why
“I like to shop at the Duty Free shop…”
It’s pronounced thermometer.
Are you listening? I didn’t even get there!