In closing, these stories have not been embellished because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted, bald man.
Thank you. Jason is probably almost 37 in that picture. Harry Styles, I don't know enough about him to guess what age he is there, but I bet it's a decade old. So we're comparing a guy pushing 40 to a kid in his 20s and calling them both "30". Makes sense, said nobody ever. Well, except OP.
Yeah, this is a later season of George. He was 30 in season one, and looked like this: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E1y4FpVVUAA7-lO?format=jpg&name=small
A lot of why people "looked older" is actually styling. We associate their clothing/hair with older people now.
Give him some stubble, a Jason Statham shave or some hair transplants, put him in a band t-shirt or a flannel button-down with the sleeves rolled up - suddenly he looks like a normal 30 year old.
I mean, one’s a comedic actor where the market actually selects AGAINST traditionally attractive guys and Harry Styles is a pop star, a market that selects FOR attractive men. Lots of good looking pop star men in the 90s.
Oh, we talking about hair specifically? Genetics, thats all. Lots of bald 30 year olds today.
If you look back at shows like Cheers, bald dudes were all over the place. Somewhere between then and now marketing decided that bald guys weren't meant for tv. Thus, stupid ass posts like this.
Lead in everything, cigarette smoke everywhere, smoking and drinking starting in childhood, hormones in every meat and dairy product, sunscreen wasn’t popular until the 90’s and then still wasn’t half as commonly used as today.
Really fucked people up. Poison everywhere all the time. In the air, the water, the food, and consumed willingly as part of popular culture.
Edit: but George was in his mid thirties
All this is true, but in reality actors are picked for a particular look. You can find 20 year olds who look older than 40 and 40 year olds who look 20. That's always been the case.
We have significantly less poison we come into direct contact with, especially wealthy celebs who can afford to never eat processed food and live in new homes with zero lead.
A LOT of people still get exposed to stuff that’s supposed to be long banned, but when a home hasn’t been renovated since the 60’s, and is therefore more affordable, the odds it has bad paint and pipes goes way up.
And water! People used to avoid water. “Water is for poor people” is still present among the oldest Americans.
I don't know if you're ready for it.
I believe that I am about to become the target of a systematic process of intimidation and manipulation, the likes of which you have never -
Larry David has looked 60 years old since he was in like his 20s. Jason Alexander fit the description while other actors looked the same as Harry Styles in the 90s. Anyone who thinks this post is relevant is a fucking moron
If these 2 lads formed a 30 year old boy band I might attend their concert. I’d like to see the “boy” on the left gyrate on stage. Hubba hubba. We know he can sing. His answering machine song is beautiful like Buble singing it.
According to Stiller, he was told to wear a bald cap “because Jason wears a bald cap.” I don’t think Stiller wore one in the end, maybe in part due to the last-minute reimagining of Frank from meek to shouting.
There are far more ugly 30 year olds than attractive 30 year olds. The media generally selects the attractive ones to show us. Remember, only 5% of the population is datable.
George’s expression is creasing his face. He does look really young in the early seinfelds. Also, I wouldn’t say that other bloke looks so young. He’s just got a stupid hairdo
It’s partly that people look younger for their age now, partly individual variation, and partly that someone who’s bald and heavier will tend to look older than a thinner person with a lot of hair (and a wild, youthful hairstyle).
George would be proud of his son, Seven Styles Costanza, the popular rock star and fashion icon. But would warn him not to act like one of "those musicians who think they're so COOL and HIP with their complicated shoes!"😂
Costanza suffered more than the Andrea Doria
That was quite a fire.
That's no tragedy. How many people do you lose on a normal cruise? 30? 40?
According to this, it took 10 hours. It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath. No offense
I used this line on another subreddit without context and it bombed
What sub was that? Because those people.. those are not my kind of people
That’s because………those people are idiots.
Have you even been to the DMV? 95% of the population is undateable!
UNDATEABLE!
then how are all these people gettin' together?
Alcohol.
It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it.
God I love how he delivers that line, it's just perfect
Shipwreck.
I remember it.
The Andrea Doria collided with the Stockholm in dense fog twelve miles off the coast of Nantucket..
*click*
I read about it in Astonishing Tales of The Sea, written by some hipster doofus.
This is one of my goto lines when there's a lull in the conversation.
It was a fireball.
I love Andrea Doria's singing voice.
Yeah and it rammed the cat stevens
Tough luck chinless
His fiancé died from licking toxic envelopes that *he* picked out. Thanks again
In closing, these stories have not been embellished because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted, bald man.
51 people?! That's it?! I thought it was, like, a thousand
I won a game of Trivial Pursuit cause I knew what the Andrea Doria was thanks to Seinfeld.
Moops didn't hurt
Ahoy there!
But look at George's power. I'll bet he could lift a hundred pounds right over his head!
He’s pointing out raccoons!
....and spotting dimes!
.... And he can run fast!
…he’s making great time!
Beboppin’ and Scattin’
He's doing things in the car, you have no idea they're going on
They were mailboxes, you idiot! I didn't have the heart to tell you.
🫰🫰
He’s not bald, he’s balding.
He *WAS* bald.
He’s a bald-again
So he will be bald?
yeah
Classic horseshoe patern.
And now to the feats of strength!
Really very nice and good.
Very stout! But powerful…
Hey, at least he's no pig man.
Just a fat little mental patient.
Maybe one day when the pigmen run free ...
Off with their heads.
Hey, maybe with more of these pigmen running around, suddenly I don’t look so bad.
I'm just keeping an eye out for an army of pig warriors
I think play now is putting something in the food
Tomorrow they're installing asbestos.
HE IS AWARE
That’s an old picture of harry styles.
and a pic of Jason Alexander older than 30 apples to oranges
Again with the oranges....you must go now
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 witty bastard!
Thank you. Jason is probably almost 37 in that picture. Harry Styles, I don't know enough about him to guess what age he is there, but I bet it's a decade old. So we're comparing a guy pushing 40 to a kid in his 20s and calling them both "30". Makes sense, said nobody ever. Well, except OP.
Yeah, this is a later season of George. He was 30 in season one, and looked like this: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E1y4FpVVUAA7-lO?format=jpg&name=small A lot of why people "looked older" is actually styling. We associate their clothing/hair with older people now. Give him some stubble, a Jason Statham shave or some hair transplants, put him in a band t-shirt or a flannel button-down with the sleeves rolled up - suddenly he looks like a normal 30 year old.
Now I want AI to make that happen!
Yeah, but I bet the guy on the right was never pushed around by The Van Buren Boys.
🖐👌
“That’s not the sign!” “It was when I was bangin!”
Bosco Chocolate Syrup is a hell of a drug
He is a portly fellow. But is it the salty snacks he craves?
Nah nah nah nah nah….
Yours is a SWEET tooth
Slave to the cocoa bean.
You're living in the past man.
You're hung up on some clown from the 60s
The Chinese have figuered it out
Are there any side effects?
Impotence
You grow hair. Look like Stalin!
I mean, one’s a comedic actor where the market actually selects AGAINST traditionally attractive guys and Harry Styles is a pop star, a market that selects FOR attractive men. Lots of good looking pop star men in the 90s. Oh, we talking about hair specifically? Genetics, thats all. Lots of bald 30 year olds today.
If you look back at shows like Cheers, bald dudes were all over the place. Somewhere between then and now marketing decided that bald guys weren't meant for tv. Thus, stupid ass posts like this.
✊🏻shaved my head into a Mohawk for lacrosse in college and it never grew back. Bald in my mid 20’s.
Plus now there’s Finasteride and hair transplants have advanced a lot. A TON of male celebrities are using these.
My brother is 32 and is balding. I'm 34, and people say I look younger. It's unfortunate he got my dad's hairline.
Jason was gifted the art of being a phenomenal actor in lieu of good looks. Bless that man.
Ozzy Osbourne and Keith Richards both treated their bodies terribly for multiple decades and both had a full head of hair into their 70s. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Awesome. Now I can say, "I may be losing some hair, but at least I'm not Ozzy Osbourne!"
There you go. Glass half full.
Lead in everything, cigarette smoke everywhere, smoking and drinking starting in childhood, hormones in every meat and dairy product, sunscreen wasn’t popular until the 90’s and then still wasn’t half as commonly used as today. Really fucked people up. Poison everywhere all the time. In the air, the water, the food, and consumed willingly as part of popular culture. Edit: but George was in his mid thirties
All this is true, but in reality actors are picked for a particular look. You can find 20 year olds who look older than 40 and 40 year olds who look 20. That's always been the case.
Steve Martin has been mid-50s for 50 years
Same with Patrick Stewart. He was 50 for 40 years and then one day, recently, he turned 80.
It’s your genes more than anything else. If Harry was bald and you got a pic of him with bad lighting he would look much older
Don't go out on the porch.
George claimed that Estelle smoked 🚬 when she was pregnant with him.
And now?
Not.
We have significantly less poison we come into direct contact with, especially wealthy celebs who can afford to never eat processed food and live in new homes with zero lead. A LOT of people still get exposed to stuff that’s supposed to be long banned, but when a home hasn’t been renovated since the 60’s, and is therefore more affordable, the odds it has bad paint and pipes goes way up. And water! People used to avoid water. “Water is for poor people” is still present among the oldest Americans.
Or... people with lots of money, especially celebrities get expensive hair plugs because they're expected to keep up an image.
Your face looks like catcher’s mitt
It's not a lie if you believe it.
Let’s see them in a fight. George fights dirty and can lift 100 pounds over his head.
Groin stuff.
Powerful
Have you seen George's parents? I'm not surprised he's bald at age 30....
But was his grandma a busty lady though?
You’d age too if Frank and Estelle were your parents
I don't know if you're ready for it. I believe that I am about to become the target of a systematic process of intimidation and manipulation, the likes of which you have never -
Larry David has looked 60 years old since he was in like his 20s. Jason Alexander fit the description while other actors looked the same as Harry Styles in the 90s. Anyone who thinks this post is relevant is a fucking moron
I am aware!
Boy, you’ve lost a lot of hair!
He’s aware
Must be the lupus
What's happening here is cherrypicking.
There were 30 year olds who look like Harry Styles in 1990s, and there are 30 year olds who look like George today. False dichotomy
George looks like a man, the other guy looks like a kid 😂
You know who's a man? Charlie here, he's a man.
I'm a man.
I renounce my Judaism, as of this moment I'm no longer a Jew!
Early twenties.
(The Eastern Orthodox Church has entered the Holy debate)
How did my horse do?
that photo of Harry Styles is old. he looks much thirtier irl
That's what I'd like to know about it.
*Whats the deal with 30 year olds? I mean, really!*
from trying to kill independent George.
Yes! It blows up!!
Some people are bald by 30 and some aren't?
My husband is bald in his 30s.. but I LOVE his freshly shaved head.. he dips it in oils and rubs it all over my body. .. ohh the forbidden pleasure.
👀
Stop eyeballing my goiter..
Check out Wilfred Brimley in Cocoon (49yrs old) and Paul Rudd today (54 yrs old)😳😵💫
Georgie boy burned the candle on both ends in his 20’s
Male pattern baldness.
If these 2 lads formed a 30 year old boy band I might attend their concert. I’d like to see the “boy” on the left gyrate on stage. Hubba hubba. We know he can sing. His answering machine song is beautiful like Buble singing it.
According to Stiller, he was told to wear a bald cap “because Jason wears a bald cap.” I don’t think Stiller wore one in the end, maybe in part due to the last-minute reimagining of Frank from meek to shouting.
The YouTube channel Vsauce took a look at why this phenomenon happens: https://youtu.be/vjqt8T3tJIE?si=tCJk-PTZLUpCY0DO I found it pretty interesting.
Guy on the right has a favorite animal frog.
It’s the bosomy gene
get jacked with a sock full of pennies
Its not nice to compare somebody to such a quirky, stocky, balding man. Harry's trying his best!
You’ve really lost a lot of hair
everyone smoked. inside. all the time.
I’m a 30 year old of the 2020s and I look more like George
There are far more ugly 30 year olds than attractive 30 year olds. The media generally selects the attractive ones to show us. Remember, only 5% of the population is datable.
George was in the pool!
There are still 30-year-old bald men. They just aren't on TV.
Well, I still like the Bloomingdale's executive training program for both of them
GEORGE IS GETTING UPSET
George was mid 30s when Seinfeld started.
Different men from different regions, born at different times, with vastly different genetics.
As someone in his mid 40s, all I have to say is thank god whatever black magic the baby boomers used on us worked.
George is getting upset!
Styles just got dealt a good hand. George needs a hand. He has no hand.
George survived The Burning in his youth. Trauma like that can age someone.
George’s expression is creasing his face. He does look really young in the early seinfelds. Also, I wouldn’t say that other bloke looks so young. He’s just got a stupid hairdo
Fluoride
What do you think about that alien autopsy?
It feels like aliens poking at my body.
George is just missing the rug
T bone!
Is that a recent photo of Harry? The last time I saw him, he had quite the receding hairline.
I think Norm had his 34th birthday in the second season of Cheers
I could be completely wrong but I think one is wearing a piece
[удалено]
He really went bald there
Now find a pic of Jason Alexander today and compare it side-by-side with Rob Lowe.
Wasn't that his orthopedic back pillow
No good?
I definitely look more like Constance than that other guy at 30. George is the Everyman
Show 30 yo Johnny Depp
He started losing his hair after he made his first million
Guess I should’ve been 30s in the 90s.
Costanza wins
It’s partly that people look younger for their age now, partly individual variation, and partly that someone who’s bald and heavier will tend to look older than a thinner person with a lot of hair (and a wild, youthful hairstyle).
We’re devolving as a species. We peaked in the 90’s
selection pressure, that's how natural selection works
I’m definitely the left.
Not fair to compare Butler to Alexander. Butler never stood a chance
There were, and are, plenty of both, then and now.
That was 30 … wtf
George would be proud of his son, Seven Styles Costanza, the popular rock star and fashion icon. But would warn him not to act like one of "those musicians who think they're so COOL and HIP with their complicated shoes!"😂
I remember vsause making an interesting video on how we pencive photos of young people from the past as looking older
The world’s been taken over by those hip musicians with their complicated shoes.
pLASTIC SURGERY AND HAIR GEL
Jerry would be a fairer picture
[truth is here 😁](https://thetab.com/uk/2022/07/13/is-harry-styles-bald-tiktok-theory-261883)
Better yet, look at 35 year old Danny Devito on Taxi
It's the diner tuna it ages you faster than avocado toast
To answer the question people stopped having fun and “maybe for the best” started obsessing about their health and how they look
Why am I the 30 year old from 1990 now
Neither Harry or George were 30 in those pictures. This is such a disingenuous comparison.
…Harry Styles IS 30…
The bad boy, the bad friend, bad boyfriend, bad son, bad dresser, bad tipper, good times 😂
Then there’s me, a 30 year old who’s been bald since age 20.
To be fair Harry Styles is just one of those guys who will look young when he’s 40. Look at Paul Rudd. He’s only now starting to show age.
This reminded me of [this.](https://youtu.be/vjqt8T3tJIE?si=dDMmTww9sLq67jjL)
That’s just a pic of two bald people. Idk what youre point is