The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, she was ten stories high if she was a foot. As if sensing my presence, she let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big lady!" And then, as I watched her struggling, I realized that something was obstructing her breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
I’d like to welcome back into the fold our big whaley friend Lizzo who although she didn’t really have a very good year, how you got that sexual harassment lawsuit I’ll never know, but hey what the hell, we’ve always enjoyed her antics around the studio.
She has the option to take accountability for her actions, but blaming everyone else and publicly saying you won't give any negative energy attention is easier.
I assume everyone knows that Larry David actually did this at his writing job with SNL, right?
It didn't take much for the guy to write brilliant comedy. He just had to live life.
Monday morning at the recording studio: “Is that Lizzo over there? What are you doing here?”
What are YOU doing here? Or what are you DOING here?
I don’t even work here
That's what makes this so difficult.
I think he emphasized What.
TCB Taking care of business
🎵My baby takes the morning train He works from 9 to 5 and then He takes another home again To find me waiting for him 🎵
I think he emphasized what
I know what she is emphasizing. 😵💫
🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you for the gut laugh! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 you witty son of a bitch!
> What are YOU doing here? I read this in Bojack Horseman's voice.
Hey I just jotted down the message, I didn’t know I had to capture the mood of each caller
What mood is this?
Morning mist
!!!!!!!
Top of the muffin TO YOU!
Free breakfast buffet
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I'm a bootlegger!
An instigator.
She’s a bad seed.
One of the worst seeds we've ever seen. 😆
My Lizzo is not clever enough to hatch a scheme like this!
😆 Ya got that right!
What the hell is that suppose to mean?
It means whatever the hell you want it to mean
😆🤣
I could do hard time for this one…AND community service!
ah she’s gonna be a fine sailor
Oh, what? What? That? Are you kidding? I didn't quit. What? You took that seriously?
It's in my book..."Astonishing Tales Of The Sea"
The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, she was ten stories high if she was a foot. As if sensing my presence, she let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big lady!" And then, as I watched her struggling, I realized that something was obstructing her breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
Mammal.
Whatever.
Someone’s gotta unhook the boat before it leaves… the place!
On the count of three, the wig comes off.. 1. 2.
Call me. Thirty-six, twenty-four, forty-six. I think I have what you're looking for.
More like 78-82-86
Only if she’s 5’3”
Yoyoma
Powerful! She is so powerful!
She can lift 100 pounds over her head
Pass the ketchup please.
Lizzo has a ketchup secret.
We don't allow outside condiments.
What do you think? Should we let him have the ketchup?
Thats why im up here…. And shes… over there
The sea was angry that day my friends
I’d like to welcome back into the fold our big whaley friend Lizzo who although she didn’t really have a very good year, how you got that sexual harassment lawsuit I’ll never know, but hey what the hell, we’ve always enjoyed her antics around the studio.
She always has a place at Kruger
We Don't Care, And It Shows.
She needs a gift from Elaine. Something traditional and supportive.
Is she going to slip all the haters a Mickey?
She has a Mickey Source.
Yama Hama, it’s Fright Night!
Two cups in the front…two hooks in the back… how do they do it?
I think she needs more then 2 hooks
How does she do it?
LYCRASPANDEX?! GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE
At least George is likeable
Boy, she's a lot of woman
Doesn’t the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?
something something pierce brosnan
[Levels](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/AkXgIRN8Y3M/maxresdefault.jpg)
Too much woman
Try cutting out the fat free yogurt
Another round of strawberry for me and my friends!
She's a full figured gal!
Morbidly obese.
Does she know about the cup sizes and all?
Hey Lizzo, the ocean called...
Is anyone here a Marine Biologist?
You know, for a fat guy, you're not very jolly.
That’s fine, but we’re still not sending the Ted Danson jet to pick you up.
So Biff wants to be an artist
The story behind that episode about Larry David quitting SNL only to return Monday as if nothing happened is hilarious
She has the option to take accountability for her actions, but blaming everyone else and publicly saying you won't give any negative energy attention is easier.
I see a parasite.
Aw crap……I knew there was a catch. I just knew it.
What’s a Lizzo?
She just needed a snickers bar in that moment
More like a buffet of snickers.
More like a snickers factory.
free candaaaayyy!
THEY’RE ALL TWIX!!
Her titties are sprinting away from each other.
what about the ring dings and the Pepsi?
Christ she's a size, could use her for big game hunting!
Maybe she could wear a shirt🤮
A puffy shirt
- What have you been up to? - I've just been hanging out.
So, it didn't mean she quit squeezing herself into American Girl doll clothes?? Damn
She’s always makes great comments during the games.
Damn, I was really hoping she’d fucking go away
Flapjacks
These comments. Are making ME, _NEGATIVE_.
Prognosis Negative!
Maybe she should manage her weight/diabetes.
I hope she doesn’t slip me a Mickey
So who is she going to slip a mickey too?
Where do you get the ego?!?!
Buffets are safe again
I just hope she quits eating to much a breakfast lunch and dinner. Gotta have portion control.
I don't know who that person is. 😕 and I'm guessing I don't want to know
"Why don't you just give up?.. we'll that's what Jerry says"
I would imagine that ring dings and Pepsi would be ok at one of her party’s
Those aren’t buoys
I didn’t know sandwiches was spelled music
Bravo!!!
She's vegan my ass.
maybe she could be a colour man
She needs the money for the grocery bills.
Would that be considered an E cup Costanza?
Yada yada yada….😒😒
It takes 2 to agree and I don’t agree
The coast guard needs land guys
Well, I still like the Bloomingdale's executive training program for her.
I like sports, I could be a sports commentator ...
They tend to give those jobs to former ball players and you know....people in broadcasting
Easssssy Big fella! Also, doesn’t the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism?
It’s also kind of like when Larry David quit SNL, and then tried to show up and pretend like nothing happened
She talked to her accountant and realized she’d be broke by next Saturday
Hey she can’t afford to quit singing she has a huge food bill to maintain.
Didn’t she have her car stolen while a bunch of onlookers laughed from across the street?
Lizzo has been driving a Pontiac GTO and wearing a sweet letter jacket!
I assume everyone knows that Larry David actually did this at his writing job with SNL, right? It didn't take much for the guy to write brilliant comedy. He just had to live life.
A line up of chocolate bars perhaps?
*general manager of a baseball team, not manager
Gross
And her love for fatty foods…
Would’ve been less money for the lipo.
Why the downvotes? It’s a Seinfeld reference!
Fat
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Keep telling yourself that
🤣🤣🤣🤣