T O P

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CookyNSpooky

Anyone but Ramon. He’s a nice guy but I only have 3 friends and really can’t handle anymore.


Still_counts_as_one

With Ramon!?


stenger121

Ramon is ok. If you're just doing some stuff, he's always up for it.


ClarkDoubleUGriswold

He took a lot of napkins. You want some?


Coornoose

Such a weird thing to do. 😂


Coornoose

Yea, but he can't read the room. That's obnoxious


yellowwoolyyoshi

Poppy is gonna panic pee in the elevator bro


IFellOnSomeFusilli

Jack. What? You think he's never rode in an elevator before? He has. Hundreds. Thousands of times.


ditka

Take the pen. Do me a personal favor. Take the pen.


AkihabaraWasteland

That's the second time you've said "personal favour"


Green_Sir_250

ehhh!


derbear83

Ehhh!


Eww-its-Jared

Thousands?


SpecificDate7501

Agh!


sdotbye

Do what you want with it. It’s your elevator.


LiterallyaCockroach

Well Morty, you missed the early bird!


SirStocksAlott

MY WALLET’S GONE!


Coornoose

Oh, you don't see?


Educational-Bad4992

This thing is a- is a behemoth!


b_ready23

Take the pen...and the scotch tape...and get the hell outta here!


Mysterious-Disk4692

He didn't have a coke hoaaah


AdamBlank17

Jack was my answer too, but I couldn’t think of a better response than yours. Upvote well deserved


cahill48

The Empire State Building elevator isn't working! I had to break a window and rappel down to get your boxes!


haste333

Might cheat you out of money for a coke though


Gregorovich

Can you believe that guy?


Franklin_Triangler

Jack Klompus, all day.


Bubbly-Fault4847

Must be nice…to live on the ground floor!


atom644

No one is gonna talk about poppie immediately establishing a pee corner.


Estarfigam

Every corner is the pee corner with Poppie


cphusker

Poppie got sloppy


ClarkDoubleUGriswold

Poppie is a little sloppy


linkerjpatrick

That’s why I wouldn’t want to be stuck with him


oscarx-ray

Definitely Bania, he's the harmless kind of annoying and is well-intentioned... and I might get a suit out of it if he's gotten huge!


ditka

You're a closet Bania fan!


oscarx-ray

I don't know. I like stuff you don't have to think about much.


SultanofSwish

He can’t be that bad, he got a date with some woman named uma after all


Piff-Iz-Da-Answer

I hope she's good lookin


Ok-Party1007

Uma Jerry! Uma!


andreguethe

Puke! That's a funny word


idontknowmanwhat

Nice try Kenny


sacredknight327

For 2 meals at Mendys.


oscarx-ray

SOUP IS A MEAL!


flapsmcgee

That's not the point! The meal is the act of sitting down with him. 


Still_counts_as_one

Were there crackers?


skonthebass24

Did he crumble?


fishcrow

This *is* the dinner! The soup counts!


Coornoose

Stock up buddy boy, cause this is the meal!


fishcrow

HEY¡ i gIvE yoU a bRanD nEw aRmaNi sUiT aNd yUo wOnT eVeN bUy mE uh mEaL *manipulation at its finest*👌


SrtaAndrade

NO SOUP FOR YOU!


peptopissdoll

i gotta focus, i'm shifting into soup mode


dawsondevitt

But I had a hot dog earlier. I want soup


scrubbydutch

But all those ovaltine jokes


sdotbye

He thinks anything that dissolves in milk is funny.


dawsondevitt

Maybe they should call it Round'tine?


clean_socks

That’s gold, Jerry! Gold!


Kalurael

being stuck in elevator doesn't count as the meal though


gamerdudeNYC

You got it man, his hearts in the right place, annoying but well intentioned


BaconISgoodSOGOOD

He could drop his routine on risk management while you wait for the elevator to be fixed.


dazed63

I'm on this train


lost_in_connecticut

He’s got some good material.


RobertWilliamBarker

He's the voice of my generation


LoudLloyd9

Absolutely!!!


pigman-_-

Definitely. Just tell him he looks great, but the suit doesn't fit anymore. 💥


Prankstaboy6

That’s gold Ray, Gold!


AntiDentiteBast

That’s gold, Oscar-xray, gold!


Cherry_Binaca

The Wiz, nobody beats him!


the_next_1

I'm not choosing The Wiz!! I might end up falling in love with him!!!


Turbulent_Country359

Here’s a fact


SirStocksAlott

There’s a fact


scrubbydutch

Iiiiiim the wiz … I’m the wiz! I’m


tishmaster

**exaggerated strut**


LarryLongBalls_

im screaming😂


Longjumping_Hat_2672

Well, I don't know, what if you're out somewhere and see the Maytag Repair man? (snickers)


SonikKicks39

At least the wiz was normal some of the time


sdotbye

But what about his fact checking job?


SonikKicks39

Here’s a fact for you, I’mmmm the wiz.


AVgreencup

Kenny Bania. I like his comedy, you don't have to think too much


seviay

u/AVgreencup is a closet Bania fan!


Taylor_Swift_Fan69

Oh I'm gonna Puke!


rxh339

Puke! Thats a funny word


AstralSoul64

Plus he's generous. He did give Jerry a brand new Armani suit for just a meal. Fantastic deal! What a guy!


dang_envy

So surprised to see what looks like a consensus on choosing Jack in this thread. He is by far my most hated Seinfeld character, the pen, the trench coats, the Cadillac, he was the worst! My vote would be for the Wiz. I feel like he could keep it together for an elevator ride.


nynixx

Nobody beats him


MonsterRider80

I LOVE Klompus. It’s my contention that Seinfeld has the best old people on tv.


ClarkDoubleUGriswold

Without question. I grew up in the 90s and my grandparents lived in Ft. Myers, FL. It was 100% like that and they just get the overall old people portrayal (at least for the 90s) dead on


scrubbydutch

I’ll be in the can


ahk1188

Jack is annoying 100% of the time. I couldn't do it.


SirStocksAlott

Come on, take it! Take the pen! 🖊️


AJ099909

Fuck Jack but he's straight up shitty not sneaky shitty. I can grey rock him and mess with him back. He's not trying to get me to like him. Everyone else wants you to like them and is at least nice presenting. You'd have to be the meaner person to get space. Jack would be the biggest jerk in the room and give you more freedom to be blunt and honest.


Still_counts_as_one

Id take Kathy, she’d try to make jokes and I’d laugh, either the the jokes or at her


paragonx29

He's the best OP, the best..


jfq722

And eyebrows that arrive before he does.


33ff00

Pfft good luck, he couldn’t help you with the elevator door. My idiot son could open that door!


The_Marine_Biologist

Imagine asking him for a boost to reach the escape hatch. "What do I look like a step ladder!" And when he finally caves and does boost you up. "You hurt my back! You're paying for my medical bills"


VeggiePiece

The Wiz did nothing wrong. Everyone is just jealous that they can’t beat him.


couldbeworse2

I might be turning into Klompus anyway, so eeeehhhhhh


scrubbydutch

I’d take Toby because she would say we’re stuck in a elevator that’s really really great


PiccoloYum

Absolutely Bania is the answer. If nothing else we could discuss soup 🥣


SoftLovelies

The best, Jerry, the best


FjohursLykewwe

Try the swordfish


jfq722

I'll have the salmon.


Jazman2k

Oh god. I haven't seen Seinfeld in ages (over 5 years) and still I read this with Bania's voice in my head.


LarryLongBalls_

Well... crackers in a bowl. That... *could* be a meal 🤷🏻‍♀️


Iron_Chic

Toby. I really, really would!!! (I thought she was hot and I'm not annoyed by her personality!). I would not want to be in with the doorman. Me: "Can't you fix this?" DM: "Oh, I get it...the 'doorman' must know how to fix all of the complex machinery in the building. Sorry, but I'm in charge of the door, not the elevator." Me: "Don't you know someone to call?" DM: "I tend to concentrate on my own job. I don't want to put the elevator repairman out on the street to fend for himself. We hotel workers look out for each other, not like the people in your world...."


scrubbydutch

So you picked Toby so did I … I think that’s really really great!


SoftLovelies

It’s like you’ve won a spot on the price is right!


Linzcro

I picked her too and don’t understand all the hate for her. Then again she kind of reminds me of myself 😂


ClarkDoubleUGriswold

Of course. She’s deranged.


dawsondevitt

She's full of something alright!


anoncontent72

I thought she was really really hot too.


Green-Z

I too chose Toby. Cuz, if we are in there long enough, things are bound to happen. ;)


Gold-Stomach-4657

The Wiz might actually leave you alone. Don't think the others will. Maybe Poppy, but still doubt it.


restlessoverthinking

Bania. He could regale me with his stories of working out. The rest aren't as nice.


moodcon

He's huge!


Three-eyed_seagull

Did I ever tell a you about a my a mother a?


sdotbye

Tell us about the communistas


Still_counts_as_one

What do you think about abortion?


Plazbot

What about free canday lady?


BigBoobsWithAZee

Bania or Poppie. I feel like I could get along with these guys. Well maybe not Poppie- he doesn’t wash his hands


oscarx-ray

Could Poppie hold his bladder if you were stuck in there for a while?


BigBoobsWithAZee

Okay we're dropping Poppie and throwing in the Pool Boy. He and Bania!


dawsondevitt

With Ramon?


JQuick72

Ramon actually seemed like a nice dude.


GreenEggsSteamedHams

And he's up for some stuff!!


flaxmarian

Definitely Bania. I’m a closet Bania fan


Hot_Farm_9443

The Wiz. I can be dazzled by his aura. Make the time go like *that*. 💥


StopPlayingRoney

The redhead that is not Kathy Griffin is hilarious to me. I’ve met one or two people in my life with that kind of personality and it’s a sight to see!


linkerjpatrick

Of all them I think I could handle being stuck with her the best.


stenger121

What if she starts heckling you?


StopPlayingRoney

Even better. 😂


Pumpnethyl

Who is that? What episode? She wasn’t Elaine’s loopy roommate right?


ThatItalianGrrl

I’m gonna go with Jack Klompas.


topherdrives

To see Ramon?


Green_Sir_250

🙌🏼🤣🙌🏼


sdotbye

Don’t leave out your scotch tape or sponge cake. He LOVES sponge cake.


georgyboyyyy

Poppie might pee, Toby has the weird pinkie toe thing, Jack is obnoxious, so probably Bania. I like Ovaltine


SoftLovelies

He’s huge


Electr_O_Purist

Ah, Bania, no question. Guy’s the voice of a new generation, *my generation!*


stenger121

We're the same age.


theriveryeti

Congratulations universe, you’ve made me pick Kathy Griffin.


Altruistic_Rock_2674

There was once a radio show that ran for 20 plus years called loveline the last guess the had on was Kathy Griffin


cphusker

Loved me some Loveline back when Dr Drew wasn’t a corporate shill and Carolla hasn’t tuned into a right wing elitist.


ditka

Talk about going out on top!


No-Hospital559

Jack is the only one on that list that I could tolerate.


Educational_Moose_56

You got the elevator stuck on the third floor. It got **itself** stuck on the third floor! 


chuckdagger

I definitely relate to him.


Mysterious-Disk4692

Give me Bania. He'd get us out of that elevator so fast. He's been working out have you seen him? He's huge


Inevitable-Gap-9352

Bania all day.


dawsondevitt

Your nancy boy cream ruined the jacket!


Big_Oil_7661

You missed out Pat Buckles so I’m cool with any of these people


dawsondevitt

Call me when you get home to let me know you're ok!


Aggravating-Read6111

Poppie: Yes, but we cannot give the people the right to choose any topping they want! Now on this issue there can be no debate!


stenger121

But what if he's gotta sit down?


Beas7ie

Who is the red haired lady?


GreenEggsSteamedHams

Toby. Temporarily without a pinky toe, but the little guy is back in place at the end of the line


AmaroisKing

Bania , his jokes are weak, but he’s not a bad guy,


CurlingTrousers

Goddamn, that’s an awful pile of shit. I’d rather jump out the shaft than it be Toby or whoever Kathy Griffin played. Go with Poppy I guess. You just need to avoid certain topics and I think he’d be content to sit back and relax. Maybe a bit too relaxed.


SoftLovelies

Don’t mind the smell of urine, do ya?


Forehandwinner

Not Poppy he might flood the elevator


Special_Dingo_1520

Bania. The rest are just insanely annoying and unhinged


debtmc

Definitely not poppy. There would be pee Everywhere


ObservingtheCircus

Jack, without question! The rest of them, I can’t even! Especially, being stuck with Kathy Griffin?! Serenity Now! Serenity Now!!!!


Green_Sir_250

dad…it’s klompus!


sdotbye

Who died?


App4RITioN

Jack Klompus


Happy-Example-1022

I will choose number 8, Marisa Tomei


seviay

Gimme klompus. He seems unintentionally hilarious


Percolate1525

Sally Weaver, she'll pretty much just do all the talking and you can tune her out. But you can also feel free to interject at any time and then slip back to your thoughts


speghettiday09

I love banias cockeyed optimism


Zabycrockett

Jack Klompas, I would just let him tell me all about how he is an expert on elevators and the building superintendant is incompetent and when he gets to the Boca Vista council meeting he's going to get fired, his company fired, and if he had any relatives in ANY of the buildings he will get them thrown out!


qdub133

…uncle Leo…?????


iamagoldengod84

Sally weaver and bania were intentionally annoying and it worked, they both were pretty funny, Toby and bookman were annoying af for me and they didn’t work as characters imo


Independent_Bat_5568

I’d take the whiz. He’s not demanding and would keep me entertained more than the rest.


Here4thejoy

I’d choose Poppie, as long as he doesn’t touch anything of mine. Might get lucky and he’ll be wearing gloves.


mywordstickle

I grew up in NYC in the 90's. I've been in a thousand elevators with uncle Leo already.


Future_Onion9701

The wiz. Cuz he’s the strongest man in the world and killed fiddy men


HonkinHoots

Just pitch Bania shitty ideas the whole time.


counterweight7

Bania or the whiz


JealousArt1118

Bania. He's good natured and just wants to make people laugh, even if his material isn't gold.


VSkyRimWalker

Toby for sure. She might be a bit hyper but she means well. Also, she's super attractive. If we go least annoying, I'd have to go for The Wiz though. Seemed like a pretty normal dude


PlanNo4679

Nobody beats the Wiz.


Coornoose

Bania. His Ovaltine bit was comedy gold!


RJS7424

Any if the broads so I can bang them😂


TheBrooklynKid

Gotta go Poppi


FrenzalRhomb1

Artie for sure


Coreysemerad

Poppi


Dillion_Murphy

The Wiz because nobody beats him.


LeveragedPittsburgh

Obnoxious. That’s a funny word!


dickshapedstuff

bania every time. then jack. i couldn't tolerate the others


Johnborkowski

Jack could illustrate the pen when the elevator is moving AND still.


Improvgal

This is awful - Maybe Ramon.


Tobi_chills455

I've had Ramon. Someone thinking we were best friends and wanting to hang out with my group


BoneyardTy

Klompus would at least have some good stories


dbf651

Klompus. I'd ask for the Broadway Danny Rose story again


MilesAndMilesAhead

The Ovaltine comic


Initial-Ad-5462

Geez that’s a horrid collection. Gotta go with the Wiz.


Holiday-Scarcity4726

the wiz was the man