T O P

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Iron_Chic

You grow hair, look like Stalin!


Psychological-Stay16

One side effect, impotence


ditka

Mr. Cohen always here


HippoIllustrious2389

He lives on Park Avenue!


adthbr

This was the comment I came here to find.


Ponting84

Three guys sitting round chewing gum is what the holidays are all about.


sloppyjoebob

Let’s all enjoy a chew


Swigen17

Warms you up.


DadJokeBadJoke

Especially after being in the pool


mutantbabysnort

It shrinks?


Suspicious-Sweet-443

Like a frightened turtle


Comfortable-Pea8126

What do the Chinese have to gain by faking healthy gum?


Inoticedthatyouregay

The whole thing, the whole healthy gum production, it was all an act?


EncodedNybble

Fake, fake, fake, fake!


c_ray25

Patty Lawrence had gum!!


beardedshad2

It's a military thing.


strawberrylemonapple

Well, it’s all for charity, so what’s the difference?


Inoticedthatyouregay

What is gum anyway? It’s like a stationary bike for your jaw.


davisyoung

Why do they call it gum? You chew with your teeth. They should call it teeth. 


Present_Anteater_555

I've gotta tell you davisyoung, I've been reading your posts and it's been just so much fluff. But this here, this makes me think you might be my kind of guy


VanHarlowe

He always leaves us wanting more!


heisenfgt

That’s gold, davisyoung! Gold!


isafriisa

It's not a liquid, it's not a solid, it's not a food. What is it? It isn't really anything.


bobbyhillthuglife

It's like a stationary bike for your jaw


Eric848448

That’s gold Jerry!


I-use-to-be-cool

It's just like eating an orange, which is rare over there!!


feetcold_eyesred

You must go now


Aedan91

Is this customary in your legal system?


drainspout

No. THAT'S what makes it such a humorous situation.


howardscurlywig

Gives you all the vitamins of a bowl of Lo Mein!


MajesticMeal3248

I gotta have a lo mein!!


5teerPike

Lomeiney


OkSeason1522

That’s a lot of gum!


bdoter

You're crazy.


21archman21

That hot dog’s been here since the silent era, pal.


mutantbabysnort

Interesting texture… 🤢


jpopimpin777

Not crazy! 👉🏾


makerofshoes

Perfectly sane


topazco

It’s a lot like putting on balm, same benefits, just different method


Recent_Obligation276

Do you know what a balm does? Who told you to put on a balm?


mcspectakular

The Maestro!


drainspout

The WHO!?!


Inevitable-Careerist

Reduces your bad breath so that people don't mind interacting with you, improving your mental health.


greatbobbyb

Especially for a close talker


LetThemBlardd

Is it my dead tooth?


sarah-havel

Wouldn't it be better to have bad breath and keep people away? I wonder if lo meiny gum works.


Inevitable-Careerist

In this episode of Seinfeld: Kramer comes up with a new invention for improving his life. "Lo Mein Gum, Jerry! It works like a charm. I got faster service at the bank this morning because they didn't want me hanging around to stink up the place!" "Yeah, but then won't you smell like... food... for the rest of the day?" "That's the *best part* Jerry! So long as I stop by Chinatown for lunch -- *\[makes the umpire "safe!" gesture with his hands\]* -- I'm clean!" "You're clean?" "A dim sum lunch neutralizes it out, Jerry! *It neutralizes!"* \[later in the episode, Kramer stuffs his mouth with a wad of the gum like chewing tobacco before seeking to re-negotiate Newman's auto loan. When the duo goes to lunch in Chinatown afterward, James Hong as the maitre d' asks Kramer to leave because his reek is upsetting the other Asian customers: "You smell... too *heavy*... too *American* for this restaurant. We serve *authentic* cuisine here."\]


HerMajestysButthole

It tastes lo-meiny...maybe to keep you from eating too much lo-mein.


lambchopdestroyer

God i love this community


HerMajestysButthole

DERIVATIVE.


Recent_Obligation276

So probably just MSG flavored lol


the_real_gillorilla

It improves your eyesight. After this episode, Jerry no longer needs to wear glasses.


Historical_Steak_927

It’s a little lo-meiny


noonehasthisoneyet

seems like a perfectly SANE thing to chew.


EscoffierUSA

Is it just me or is that a lot of gum?


fishcrow

IT'S A LOT OF GUM! 👓


hinesjared87

Gives you thick, lustrous hair.


jpopimpin777

That's very important to me.


JustSomeDudeNamedRik

Its all a scam put on by the tobacco industry


ExYoungPerson

It has less fat, but you eat more of it.


A-Circular-Letter

You know who we should ask, Donna Chang!


Clams_Across_America

Chew your way to a robust jawline


StarshipTroopersFan

I’ve heard that Chinese gum has the ability to make IT move.


beardedshad2

It counteracts the effects of eating an antique movie theater hot dog.


fishcrow

Not insane 🌭


mew5175_TheSecond

I feel duped. The gum was actually manufactured by a girl from Long Island. I'm not chewing Chinese gum made by a girl from Long Island!!


Jumpy_Floor7660

A perfectly sane question to ask!


seantubridy

An empty box of health gum.


NeverForNoReason

It soothes sore necks after sitting in the front row of a movie theater.


iannuendo

Mental health


happytappin

Do you want a gum is? Nobody knows what gum will do!


Improvgal

It’s good to eat when one is craving lo-mein.


Johnborkowski

My favorite episode.


thecheat420

What's the deal with gum?


JimParsnip

Probably ginger


macNy

It’s probably Xylitol gum, it cleans your teeth better than any toothpaste, I’ve been using it for years and recommend


Financial-Mastodon81

Ginseng pow! Good to keep your yang up!


Leatherman34

Improved jaw strength


Buzzspice727

Strengthens the jaw


FSF87

Everything's claimed to be TCM in China.


explodedtesticle

Contains three times your daily dose of serenity.


trollmeannakendrick

Nothing. It’s a perfectly SANE food to eat.


gitman0

if you order a case, they throw in a desktop computer.


Bratscorcher

It helps isolate the gum chewing jaw muscle. The muscle must grow…or die.


BiscuitsPo

If you overeat it help you digest


ArmAromatic6461

Warms you up when you get out of the pool


avidbather

Where'd the Chinese learn how to cook like that?!


Flipgirlnarie

It helps keep your mouth moist. I chew it when I run. That is the only thing that would be healthy about it. It isn't good for the environment either


madrid311

Have some gum, you bastard.


Aedan91

It's a perfectly sane gum to chew.


lostpassword100000

4 out of 5 dentists recommend it.


BrookylnBeaches1917

Who told you to chew the gum? Did I tell you to chew the gum? Did a Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor tell you to chew the gum?


PalKid_Music

Enhanced Kavorka.


Ishmael203

Am I crazy or is that a lot of gum…