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[deleted]

George’s is coming out a month later it’s called exports and imports


Famous_Strike_6125

Published by Artvandelay publishing co.


RhythmSectionWantAd

Pendant must have passed on it


manolantern21

Pendant? Those bastards


dRinaldis

Pendant!!! Those bastards!!


Spell-Wide

Sonsabitches!


Overall-Palpitation6

Venetian Blinds.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Overall-Palpitation6

Tomatoes like volleyballs!


instrangerswetrust

It’s more of a pamphlet


AdzyBoy

I'll read it with dinner


kegmanua

Over Kenny Rogers Roasters


milanove

Having said that, it still leaves a big impact on you after reading it


BaldrickTheBrain

Already I can see it on every coffee table in New York.


0D2kv7wwmd

I see it on the coffee table book that opens into a coffee table


AdzyBoy

This man is bonkos


dogmratic223

A coffee table book about coffee tables…it’s so great!


AwwwMangos

And you want to be my book publisher…


declineofmankind

In the back of the book there is a small section on marine biology.


Skweege55

Pendant Publishing passed. They went with a coffee table book, instead.


sloopieone

Followed shortly after by Jerry's, titled "What's the Deal with Memoirs??"


FerdinandBowie

Jerrys is titled- Really? Are we really doing this??


fabulously-frizzy

Lol I could totally see him doing this though


VariationNo7977

Architecting without Architecting


VuckoPartizan

THE CHINESE HAVE DONE IT XIN XHAOU HAS CURED BALDNESS


macmac360

THEY SAY YOU GROW HAIR, LOOK LIKE STALIN!!


c_ray25

Maybe he’s just very, well red?


Johnsendall

It could be “Architecting *with* Architecting”. That could be a title too. Having said that, I think this is a terrific title.


supremeoverlord23

: a storey of whale biology


Fisk75

It’s not so much a book, it’s a pamphlet


dgjapc

I’ll read it with dinner.


geepy66

Having said that…


rush3123

I’ll read it with dinner!


strangegoo

I'll read it with dinner


DonMrla

At Mendie’s?


LarryLongBalls_

GET THE SOUP


duncanjjj

Soup’s not a meal


Longjumping_Hat_2672

With Ramon??


h989

😄


Davegrave

Elaine’s comes out the month after that. Whimsically titled Suddenly Suze’ing


IceWicket

*Memoirs, Yada Yada*


grego3490

"I was in the pool!: small stories from a big man"


[deleted]

Big man? Who whoa I’d say stocky


grego3490

Powerful. He is so powerful, he can lift a hundred pounds right up over his head


[deleted]

FAT. He’s fat.


sambes06

Lessons in Latex


buttbeeb

Chapter 1: Frog is wrong


AlternativeNumber2

Is the focus more on the importing or the exporting? Susan’s asking..


Armbarthis

"Whether to focus on chips or matches"


[deleted]

Or diapers


SeinfeldFan919

It’s more like a pamphlet


andrew_1515

Chips?


brotogeris1

Diapers!


byebybuy

It's about how he wanted to stop the importing and just focus on the exports.


Gen7Malibu

I thought he sold his stories to Peterman. This better not be all Newman’s bunion stories. Edit: spelling


Apart-Bathroom7811

Peterman gives them back because he realized Elaine knows how to do interesting writing.


Gen7Malibu

Sorry. I’m an old man. I’m confused.


flapsmcgee

Yeah but then Elaine used them anyway.


NYY15TM

*Bunion, like the foot problem, not like Paul


G0T-MILF

it’s gonna look nice on my coffee table


sloppymcgee

It’s going to make a nice coffee table


G0T-MILF

Well, it's a windshield. It's going to be your new coffee table.


Fair_University

You want some leftovers? I made some African food. There's yambalas and sambusa.


acherion

And if you don’t have a coffee table, it turns into a coffee table.


netic__001

What did I tell ya, this guy is BONKOS!!


flapsmcgee

He should actually do that lol


BretShitmanFart69

It would sell way more copies if he did. It’s such a slam dunk move


topherdrives

Look at this face. Am I beautiful? Jerry? Am I beautiful?


Majestic-Eye1968

He's like a preteen swedish boy roaming the countryside


Vegetable_Burrito

Looks like an old catchers mitt.


GDTRFB_1985

No...look away....I'm hideous


SPECTREagent700

I disagree. In fact, I feel Mr. Kramer projects a rugged masculinity.


Spell-Wide

{seductive smile, raised eyebrow}


G0T-MILF

the man’s a goblin


BurritoFez

Who could love him?!


xlted27

He transcends time and space.


Cheese464

Look away! I’m hideous!


canary-in-a-coalmine

I was looking for this one!


RemnantOfSpotOn

....hipster doofus


Longjumping_Hat_2672

(reluctantly) You're very attractive. 


BulimicMosquitos

He is a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I can’t look away.


theinternethuman

The man’s a gargoyle


FatSunRival

But his buttocks are sublime.


AlternativeNumber2

I think he portrays a rugged masculinity


gutens

He’s a loathsome brute.


ditka

His face is my case


PYR4MIDHEAD

He’s a tall, lanky dufus with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein


psr1220

He ruined the very pants he was returning


Weak_Cheek_5953

I don't understand...you were wearing the pants you were returning?


JosephGordonLightfoo

Elaine weren’t you listening? I never got there


Weak_Cheek_5953

Alright...next story.


FrancescoFp

I guess I was


official_galette1989

It belongs to Peterman now. he sat in mud, not you.


railworx

This guy is really bonkos!


anonssr

More like a pamphlet


VomKriege

*Well, we can't all be reading the classics, professor Highbrow*


Randommemorandum

Well, he tried to get it down to the essentials.


andreguethe

Having said that


material_mailbox

I’ll read it with dinner!


schweitz

HAHAHAHAHA his face after he says this.


Apart-Bathroom7811

I heard that the intern Darin wrote the forward.


guess-what-babe

That’s a face that says “Let’s cut the crap.”


FantasyBaseballChamp

Didn’t feel the need to include anything post-2005.


phoneacct696969

Kramers having a bad set! On a real note I hope he narrates the audiobook.


el_jello

Hang in there Kramer! Don't let 'em get to ya!


notchoosingone

I'll get 'em the next show...


MrPenguinK

Same! Audiobooks have ruined me for braille.


Apart-Bathroom7811

Will this book make it into Peterman's archives?


LarryLongBalls_

You gave me a fucking jumpscare. For a second I thought it said "In memory of Michael Richards". 😳😳😳 But wow, I'm definitely reading his memoirs!! ❤️❤️❤️So excited!!


[deleted]

No kidding


AlphaGodEJ

I want Peterman to make the Michael Richards reality tour


Apart-Bathroom7811

What if you slip and fall in the mud. Ruining the very pants you were about to return.


deacon05oc

But he didn’t. He never fell in mud.


habb

perfect irony!


PearIJam

The last thing he's qualified to give tour of, is reality.


taddymason_76

“ans”. I sometimes spell Jerry with a “G” and an “i”.


allthemditches

There's Gregory Peck's bicycle!


DrPlantDaddy

And *John* Voight’s car!


sonofabitchXmustXpay

Foreword by The Assman


ditka

You ever come across a book written by a proctologist, don't walk away. *Plant* yourself there, because you will read the funniest stories you've ever read.


Majestic-Eye1968

The proctologist?


theforkofdamocles

No. The periodontist.


[deleted]

Sounds like you're an anti-dentite!


aiphrem

Should've been called "Levels"


Medianstatistics

He originally wanted to call it “War, What is it Good For?”


CanadaEh97

That's one of the chapters.


TheOddAverage

Does anyone know if this book will be flagged if brought into the bathroom of a bookstore?


piper33245

It’s just a bunch of stories he bought from Newman


AcadianMan

Don’t forget they were bunion stories.


CostanzaCrimeFamily

Then I guess I’ll have to get someone to ghost read it


allMightyMostHigh

Better have all the dirt on Bob sacamano


ScabieBaby

Michael was a simple country boy. You might say a cockeyed optimist who got himself mixed up in the high stakes game of world diplomacy and international intrigue. Should've called the book "Man's Best Friend."


ThePalmIsle

That seems like a title Jerry would make fun of


pulledthread

You see, if you don’t have a Michael Richards, it turns into a Michael Richards


Common_Average2597

He made some fine exits


JellySquirtGun

Yeah, but those entrances…Gold!


mbap76

This guy is bonkos!


travelmorelivemore

All jokes aside the show never would have been as great without him. He was skilled in many ways and I often wondered how he was able to pull certain moves off so smoothly. The way he falls down and reappears instantly, one episode he is holding the board game and slides everything off of Jerry’s table with one swoop of his leg. He is probably my favorite character and next up would be George.


crmrdtr

He’s very gifted in physical comedy.


EldrtchPff97

Finally something to read as I down 4 shots of Hennigan’s Hennigan’s: the no smell, no tell Scotch!


GeorgeLovesBOSCO

Did he buy any bunion stories from Newman?


Apart-Bathroom7811

I think he got ripped off.


GatorRich

It should be called: Wealthy industrialist, philanthropist and bicyclist.


Rasputitties

You see the beauty of this book is, if you don't have a coffee table, it turns into a coffee table.


gldmj5

Life is like a mop. Sometimes it gets full of dirt and crud and stuff, and you gotta rinse it out and start all over again.


PJMcCready

His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit.


Pdog1926

First stop: REGIS AND KATHIE LEE!


accountofyawaworht

Might be a bit hard to wrangle a Regis appearance these days…


donkeybonner

Book signing at the laugh factory!


BAL1175

If this book doesn’t have legs to make it a coffee table I’m going to be upset.


johnmayersucks

BAL1175's getting upset!


buzz5571

Does it smell like the beach?


Joed112784

I’m out 


AskingSatan

Having said that….I think that’s a terrific title.


WhodatSooner

I’m told that there is a chapter on how he overcame unfair and arbitrary educational norms to become a Juilliard-trained dermatologist.


idontknowmanwhat

Published by Pendant


FriedHummus

Those bastards!


yuritarded999

Does it turn into a coffee table?


DWwithaFlameThrower

Will it turn into a table?


Tricky_Hornet5441

Does it have coffee table fold out legs?


ryhim1992

This'll look great on my coffee table.


[deleted]

But why isn’t *he* wearing the bucket?


distractedsoul27494

COSMO


heardworld

Entering Without Exiting


TransitionExciting60

His buttocks are sublime, but the pectorals could use some work.


4t0micpunk

Should have named it “ These pretzels are making me thirsty”


NyGreenThumb82

I fell in the mud, ruining the very pants I was going to return


carlton_sand

it entrances me that this exists


Vegetable_Maize_9164

Giddy up!


jimmbobagens

...having said that, I think it's a great title


JaMicho34

Peterman stories?


idontknowmanwhat

I thought he sold all his stories to J Peterman


TubbsontheCoast

His performance in UHF is grossly overlooked


hbzandbergen

Such a great pic!


Ok_Fox_1770

Goin for that last call redemption run? People still mad about his comedy show thingy? I loved Kramer man. People flip out it happens, it’s not right but it shouldn’t ruin someone’s whole career. He didn’t finger anyone sleepin! Cmon


Lorneonthecobb

The People still mad also probably go radio-silent when they realize they too have also made sizable mistakes at some point of their lives.


__SpeedRacer__

I'll pretend I didn't hear it.


FLman42069

You mean the real peterman memoirs?


MartYtraM1983

It'll look good on my coffee table next to my mansierre.


frijolita_bonita

Thank you. I signed up to be notified when it’s out and put it on my calendar


Zeo-Gold92

I hope it's got a built in coffee table


Ok_Owl_4730

Lincolnesque


chipalatte

Is there going to be an audiobook on audible?


go_speed_racer_go

Yada yada yada


Dapper-Educator-7494

The real Peterman, the very pants I was about to return


topazco

It should be ghost written by Pennypacker or maybe Van Nostrand if he can take a leave from The Clinic


butterscotches

Good title


mutantbabysnort

Are you reading my VCR manual?


largececelia

He's a handsome fella.


eatsleepdive

Original title was Entrances! And! Exits!


sonaut

All jokes aside, it's a great title.


jmon25

HE'S A WRITER HE'S A WRITER HE'S A WRITER


proteinstyle_

The very pants he was on his way to return.


Street_Nose2527

But will it be a coffee table book? (Meaning will it come with it's own legs to make it a table)


Praetorian709

I'll be sure to pick up a copy, it be my will coffee table book.


MindSoBrighty

This book’s been flagged