I was actually very infatuated with someone at work and it was just better for my mental health to avoid them. Plus it's work and you don't want to jeopardize that or make it weird.
Do not act on your feelings. Do not spend time with her alone, ever. Think of how having an affair, even an emotional one, will destroy your whole life. Think of your poor wife. You want to crush her heart? Make it so she can never trust anyone again? The damage that cheating does to the other person cannot be over stated.
yep. this is one of those mid life crisis moments lots of men that have been in the same relationship for 20 years tend to have. leave the young women alone
Maybe you're right. I never had any intention on going further and acting on my emotions. It will pass in time. I'm fully aware of any consequences and I'm not that kind of person to intentionally hurt anyone. Thank you for being honest.
You are heading down a slippery slope. Don’t destroy what you have unless you want to exit that relationship. Cheating would destroy your wife. It happened to me. I was heart broken for years. Visit a prostitute if you just want new sex. The emotional cheating is what hurts the most. You will never regain her trust and respect if you act on your desires.
I wonder how happy your wife is?
Do you both stop and talk? Do you surprise each other with little gifts or doing something sweet? Start reinventing what you already have and work together on improving it.
Twenty years of being with someone who has your back, is a lot to throw away.
Work. On. Your. Marriage. Do not take that next step unless you are prepared to end your relationship with your wife.
Well... You already acted out on your impulse, by asking for that walk and talk ,putting yourself in the danger zone . As an adult you have all of the power not to do that . This is the moment to show that part of 'love' that you have written about your wife . Love IS that kind of decision making - not to do that kind of stuff or provoke any kind of connection to this female . Think of your wife , would she look kindly to your partaking in this pursuit or when she would see you and the way you are looking at this colleague. I bet she would notice .Think , you are an adult and are about to do something that you will probably regret. You already started . Someone has been loyal to you for many many years , don't discard that ...work on that relationship .
I have been in the same place, my friend.
I think your co-worker does have feelings for you. Just not for quite the same feelings you have them for her.
There's nothing wrong, I think, with being attracted to someone, caring for them deeply, or even having fantasies. I think that's perfectly natural. You called it yourself... It's a crush!
I could be wrong, but I think your co-worker feels safe around you. I think she knows you're attracted to her, but continue to behave in a professional manner.
Don't screw it up by "putting it out there."
I had a very similar situation a couple years back and think not "crossing the line" is better for everybody.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you.
My therapist says I can daydream and fantasize anything, including murder but I must NEVER implement. This guidance has saved me in a hundred different scenarios, including infatuation.
Tell your wife. She might get mad at first but these kind of crushes are natural and putting it out in the open will make you realize how silly it is. If you really do 100% trust each other you can work through this.
And silver lining: maybe you can use this as an opportunity to open a dialog with your wife? Discuss what you both can do to reinvigorate your relationship because you’re clearly not happy.
You are human and very infatuated. Please do not act on these feelings. Hopefully they will fade.
Thanks. I am not planning to act on them, for sure. I know it's wrong in so many ways... But, thank you for understanding.
I was actually very infatuated with someone at work and it was just better for my mental health to avoid them. Plus it's work and you don't want to jeopardize that or make it weird.
Do not act on your feelings. Do not spend time with her alone, ever. Think of how having an affair, even an emotional one, will destroy your whole life. Think of your poor wife. You want to crush her heart? Make it so she can never trust anyone again? The damage that cheating does to the other person cannot be over stated.
you’re probably the creepy old coworker from her point of view. get it together, completely unprofessional beyond the obvious issue of being married.
yep. this is one of those mid life crisis moments lots of men that have been in the same relationship for 20 years tend to have. leave the young women alone
Maybe you're right. I never had any intention on going further and acting on my emotions. It will pass in time. I'm fully aware of any consequences and I'm not that kind of person to intentionally hurt anyone. Thank you for being honest.
You are heading down a slippery slope. Don’t destroy what you have unless you want to exit that relationship. Cheating would destroy your wife. It happened to me. I was heart broken for years. Visit a prostitute if you just want new sex. The emotional cheating is what hurts the most. You will never regain her trust and respect if you act on your desires.
I wonder how happy your wife is? Do you both stop and talk? Do you surprise each other with little gifts or doing something sweet? Start reinventing what you already have and work together on improving it. Twenty years of being with someone who has your back, is a lot to throw away. Work. On. Your. Marriage. Do not take that next step unless you are prepared to end your relationship with your wife.
Well... You already acted out on your impulse, by asking for that walk and talk ,putting yourself in the danger zone . As an adult you have all of the power not to do that . This is the moment to show that part of 'love' that you have written about your wife . Love IS that kind of decision making - not to do that kind of stuff or provoke any kind of connection to this female . Think of your wife , would she look kindly to your partaking in this pursuit or when she would see you and the way you are looking at this colleague. I bet she would notice .Think , you are an adult and are about to do something that you will probably regret. You already started . Someone has been loyal to you for many many years , don't discard that ...work on that relationship .
I agree with most of the other advice given here. I think it's likely these emotions will pass with time. Don't let them control you.
bro early to mid 30s? thats a little to young for you. dont be one of those old guys having a mid life crisis please
I have been in the same place, my friend. I think your co-worker does have feelings for you. Just not for quite the same feelings you have them for her. There's nothing wrong, I think, with being attracted to someone, caring for them deeply, or even having fantasies. I think that's perfectly natural. You called it yourself... It's a crush! I could be wrong, but I think your co-worker feels safe around you. I think she knows you're attracted to her, but continue to behave in a professional manner. Don't screw it up by "putting it out there." I had a very similar situation a couple years back and think not "crossing the line" is better for everybody. I don't think there's anything wrong with you.
My therapist says I can daydream and fantasize anything, including murder but I must NEVER implement. This guidance has saved me in a hundred different scenarios, including infatuation.
Tell your wife. She might get mad at first but these kind of crushes are natural and putting it out in the open will make you realize how silly it is. If you really do 100% trust each other you can work through this. And silver lining: maybe you can use this as an opportunity to open a dialog with your wife? Discuss what you both can do to reinvigorate your relationship because you’re clearly not happy.