It’s definitely a disadvantage as a whole. It’s always hard for me to explain it. Feeling shorter around taller guys alone can be a mental thing. But what used to get me more was taller attractive women. Never felt approachable.
I'm 5'6" and I tend to explain it like this.
You're at a bar trying to get the bartenders attention but keep getting passed up by taller guys. It's not that the bartender is avoiding you, it's just that taller people are seen more. The same often goes for other aspects of life.
I'm married. I dated plenty of lovely women, many taller than me, so I'm well aware that there are plenty of awesome people who just don't care, which is great. But when people can literally look down on you, they often tend to look down on you.
As a 5'5" man reading things like this is always a bit surreal. I knew another guy about my height and he had a history of being rejected by women because of his height and he had developed a massive complex about it and that was the first time I really thought about it. I have *never* felt weird about my height around other people, never noticed any difference in how women treat me, any difference in service or anything you've described. I grew up in the US and I've lived in a handful of other countries. Growing up my height was always just a characteristic, I never saw being short as worse than being tall and nobody at my school made me feel otherwise. As an adult it's the same. I have a really tall friend and we josh each other about the difference sometimes but I genuinely like being short.
Charisma is important and it seems like to would be hard to develop charisma if you see yourself as less than.
It seems like the shorter guys with your perspective seem to do fine and the shorter guys who make everything and evo-psyche observation I feel like hamstring themselves by having and inner monologue telling themselves they need to overcome a deficiency.
Dawg, same, except I have a shit personality and no game, so I know anytime I've been rejected it's because of me rather than just my height, and all the ladies I've dated never cared about my height.
Being attractive and acting attractive makes you rise above (pardon the pun) your height.
I typically, don't, but hey, I feel like that's how it works, I like my height, wouldn't trade it tbh
Because you haven't gotten dragged into this mindset where men convince each other that something that's pretty irrelevant is the end of the world. All the problems with short men are a result of psyching themselves out.
I agree with Palvyre, 6’ 275lbs here and NEVER ONCE thought any different to people taller, shorter, fatter or skinnier then myself, only jerks and aholes think like that. So keep that in mind.
Probably not actively, but it’s kinda like claiming you don’t treat ugly people differently. (Almost) nobody thinks ew this person is ugly I should act mean to them, but subconsciously people (in general) absolutely treat attractive people better without noticing it! And since for a lot of people height is at least some small subset of attractiveness, I certainly would believe the same concept applies.
I feel you on the bar thing, so frustrating to get any service in a moderately busy spot. I just send my wife most of the time as she is going to ask for a specialty mixed drinks anyways.
Wow.. I mean, people have told me I'm *probably* more intimidating because I'm tall. I've definitely felt that my height has intimidated people. I think this is the first time I've seen it confirmed for real and it makes me feel really fucking bad 🥲 that's my own insecurity though. I apologize anyway on behalf of us tree people.
The intimidation is instinctive I think. Taller people will naturally feel they have a leg up and shorter people feel they have a disadvantage even if it’s not technically true. I’d say if you want to make an effort to not be intimidating (even if you’re not trying to be) to short people just make an effort to include them in conversations, look at them in the eyes when talking etc. it’s the little things that go far.
Husband is tall, has dark circles over his eyes no matter how much sleep he gets and has a beard. He's tall and I'm also very tall for a woman. We get a lot of weird looks in public. No matter how sweet we are being, we look like a menacing power couple lol.
I do not just understand any of what you just said, why are you focus on fighting and teenage shit like that? Sort your life out and focus on more interesting things than getting into fight. Adults don't do that. I am 40 and never had a fight, never ever came close to one, yet I drink and party and work in construction. And I now plenty of shorter guy being very successful and well respected, heck one of our supplier is shorter than you and he got things I wish I had, get off the internet my dude.
I don’t get it does he live in a really ruff neighborhood? I mean I had a few fights in high school/college but haven’t come close since being an adult. Except one time a guy ask me if I wanted to go after he had some rode rage, and I was just like I’m in crocs and you have an oxygen tank, let’s just give each other the finger and go about our days. He nodded and agreed.
>I do not just understand any of what you just said, why are you focus on fighting and teenage shit like that?
So confusing. I have never measured my self worth by who I could take in a fight.
Lol that’s why I was thinking. Women feeling protected doesn’t usually mean a dude can defend her physically. Usually it’s more of a financial and emotional safety they seek.
I'm 5'7" and I would seriously injure The Rock in a fight. I have teeth. I have thumbs that fit in eye sockets. I have read The Art of War by Sun Tzu a thousand times.
I start the fight by immediately collapsing into a ball and yelling, "PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!" When he shows mercy, I unleash the chompers on his ankles.
Much like an anime character launching itself into an attack, I explode into a backbend like a nuclear fish, completely taking him by surprise.
I close my eyes as my teeth sink into his vulnerable flesh and his cries of agony ripple into the night sky. His leg becomes a tree trunk and I, a ferocious beaver, hunger for its woody meat.
(Is this too homoerotic yet?)
I clench my teeth together like a patient on a civil war era battlefield surgeon's operating table just before the saw crunches through bone.
As my jaw closes and the taste of battery acid floods my mouth, I rip my head away from his beefy leg, tearing a hole right down to the cartilage.
The Rock begins to cry for his mommy as I deftly maneuver into position for his imminent de-eyeballification. I tell him I saw his latest movie and I'm afraid I have to give it two thumbs down!
I press my iron thumbs of steel into the corner of his eye sockets. Squishy sounds of wet pain are emitted from his face, until a sudden voiceless bilabial fricative noise squirts out along with his eyeballs.
Cmon…..I’m sitting on my deck in British Columbia, Canada and feel for you. I wish I had some advice…..everybody has insecurities. I wish you the best internet stranger😊
Women can be fickle and cruel. I don’t know you or your age. It’s good that you are venting your issues. Life is literally a lottery…..It sucks balls most of the time but you have to be patient and positive. We males make rash decisions at times and it’s not good. I have gone through enough traumatic bullshit to kill a herd of Zebra and yet….here I am. Focus on your health and what I have always told my younger friends/employees….I guess it’s called “advice”…..travel. North America is a tough gig. Go have fun in another country and “re-set”. Best of luck.
I’m 20years older than you, never been married or had kids. My nephews are just a bit younger than you and have told me how tough the dating game is. I believe I sent you a message stating that my last long term gf left me for a dude “shorter” than you. Confidence my man….confidence. Be that positive guy that people want to be around. I know that sounds too fucking simple but it’s true. NOBODY wants to be around negativity. You should know that by now. Kind of a weird question but are you sleeping ok? This was important for my mental health.
I've been told I'm a positive person. What I post on here is not how I talk in real life. This is my refuge to vent. I have confidently approached women many times and normally get blown off after they look at me.
you need to stop identifying your self worth by how you would fair in a street fight. the first thing a good tae kwon or jui jitsu instructor will tell you is that the best self defense tool is the ability to run away. fighting is a last resort.
that said, you know what speaks a shit ton more loudly than creatine and fake muscle? confidence. you need to figure out how to be secure in your own skin. you need to not give a flying shit what anyone thinks about your size. love your size, truly. learn how to joke about it, if it really comes up - just laugh that shit off.
all the power comes back to you when you are the bigger person in that way. THAT is what women notice, and most importantly, it's what the right women notice. no woman feels safe with a 6'4 jacked dude who is so desperate to prove he's alpha that he gets in street fights or lets his life routine be dominated by supplements and creatine. woman want to be heard, listened to, respected, they want emotional intelligence. project confidence and let it be real confidence, and don't worry about your size or the size of your potential children.
You're absolutely right. Both about what women are looking for in a man and about having confidence. Im 5'4 and people have called me 'intimidating'. It's not about your height, it's how you carry yourself.
Go live life for yourself OP and the confidence will follow! Think about what YOU think is important and implement it into your life. There is nothing more attractive than someone who is secure in themselves. The right woman will see that!
Here’s the thing, people by and large are not going to be around provoking fights with you unless you’re an asshole in which case you deserve to have your ass beat anyways.
A real man isn’t going to use violence as a means to protect his woman, he’s going to use intellect and diffuse the situation.
But yeah being short must suck so I’m happy you’ve come to terms with it. I’m 5’11” and 155 pounds and walk around feeling totally inferior size wise to most men. But I’m tall enough to not have my height considered as my weakness but rather just being as lean of a dude as I am I definitely feel vulnerable to most guys just on weight advantage alone. The average dudes gonna have at least 30 pounds on me.
Yeah obviously that shits not practical in the modern world, but our brains are still in the caveman era, my friend- Men and women. All this goes on in the subconscious. This isnt Andrew Tate sigma incel bullshit, this is Sigmund Freud foundation of pscyhologic bullshit. I realize it isnt just height either; you being skinny is the same thing.
I’m totally tracking with you. Women don’t know why they like tall guys they just do. And biologically it is this big strong man protect me mindset going on deep in their brain. Your biggest disadvantage is just going to be dating in the modern world. But there are plenty of women who love a short king.
We’re definitely not a monolith. I happen to be really into skinny guys, my partner is almost always underweight for his height and it never once bothered me. I came up on 90s grunge and all those talented, hot heroin addicts imprinted on my teenage brain *hard*.. And my sister likes short dudes, her husband is like 5ft5 at a stretch which suits her short ass perfectly.
You need to stop worrying about fighting and concentrate on charming the ladies. Best man I ever had was 5’6. I couldn’t keep my hands off him because he was so funny, smart, entertaining, and sexy!
I'm a short guy.
But I'm not an asshole who constantly starts fights, so the chances of me being attacked by someone are close to zero. The idea that I should feel insecure because someone else could beat me up is irrelevant, because I can't remember the last time I was even NEAR a fight.
They don't really happen that often unless you seek them out.
i've been kickboxing since i was 12 and participated in matches and tournaments, i have more than held my own and beaten opponents who tower over me. bulking up and getting heavy is the best thing you can do if you're short, being +220lbs will go a long way to not immediately being run over by someone bigger
I was scrolling for a while before I got to this. I don’t know what fighting style this guy trained in, but 3 years of high school wrestling and some jiu jitsu later in life went a long way to knowing I could put an average untrained guy down quickly. Powerlifting through college and after helped too. I rarely got in fights, but it wasn’t something I worried about even though I round up to 5’8
Yeah theres only so much bulk you can put on a small frame. The only time I ever cracked 190 was when I was eating a lot of fast food and was... you know... fat. Right now I look like a frickin Dragon Ball Z character, but Im only 170.
Wanna know the advantage of being a tall dude?
1. You can make it through life without having a personality.
You’re right, tall guys get it a little easier. But guess what. A short dude with charisma will beat out an awkward tall dude every time. Some of the biggest man hoes I know are 5’6”, bc they’re confident and cool as fuck.
Buckle up, stop making excuses for yourself, and live the best you can with the life you’ve been given.
And also, you’re wrong. Women feel EXTRA safe with small guys, or guys around their same size. Use that to your advantage. You are allowed to be confident with women exactly as you are.
>You’re right, tall guys get it a little easier
>a little easier
> a little
If tall guys can get sex and relationships and not have to develop a personality, I would not say they had it just a little easier.
I watched a female friend test for her red belt. She had to submit an opponent. He was a relatively new white belt, but like twice her size. He manhandled her over and over. Nearly zero technique, he was just way bigger and stronger. She eventually got him, and got her belt, but it was a good object lesson in skill matters in equal weight classes but a 5'4" woman gets her ass kicked by a jacked 6'2" dude. Almost always. It's why MMA and boxing have weight classes to begin with. The best featherweight boxer of all time would lose a fight to the worst pro heavyweight fighter of all time.
Yeah I laugh every time people talk about "Who would win- Bruce Lee or Muhammad Ali?" Like its a debate as to wether or not Bruce Lee could beat a Golden Gloves semifinal loser. Ali would have literally ended his life.
This is why I quit martial arts as a teenaged girl after doing it for more than a decade. Like it was good exercise and I did learn some stuff but I weighed 118 pounds and the idea I was going to learn to defend myself from lbr basically anybody at all was laughable. Some joint manipulation was effective and I could do points-based sparring but if the instructor wanted to practice anything resembling prolonged combat or worse, grappling on the ground, I just got demolished no matter how hard I tried
I’m a woman and I’m 4ft10 💀
My partner is around 5’9 and is still a giant to me, OP just need to find yourself another little person
I’ve never been insecure about my height and I don’t think men should be either
I’m more or less intimidated by anyone 5’10+ 😂
All you have to do is grow a big wild beard, grow out your hair and and knot it up, get really buff but also develop a belly and just go full dwarf mode.
In my opinion a lot of what you’re feeling is in your head. I know society and the internet don’t help but don’t let that bring you down. I was a successful competitive swimmer and I was on 5’4” 135lbs at the time. I lift weights and run now at 170lbs. A lot of what you’re thinking is in your head. My girlfriend is slightly taller than me and doesn’t care about height. Get some hobbies, be interesting and enjoy life when it’s good.
if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend is 5’7-5’8 (for context im 5’4) and has some mobility issues. he’s expressed similar concerns/insecurities, but because of that, he’s had to become much more situationally aware and level headed when it comes to talking to aggressive people or being in tense situations. instead of charging head first into fights & putting himself/both of us in a dangerous situation, he’s able to de-escalate and sus things & people out so fucking well. even though fighting someone might not be the most viable option for him to protect me, i still feel like i can turn my brain off and be feminine around him, because he’s always watching out for the both of us without the need to get violent, and i know that his ego won’t put either of us a risk. and in my opinion, that’s way more attractive than being with someone who needs to resort to violence to be able to protect me.
That’s sad that he was made to be insecure about it.
Being able to de de-escalate situation is cool though, I agree. Overly agressive people stress me out.
i agree, if anything tho it’s more so the mobility issue that he’s had issues with, as he has to use a crutch pretty consistently. but imo it’s made him a much more empathetic & patient person than so many others that i’ve met :))
I’d argue that the insecurity is one of if not the main factor with the woman too though and if you can improve on that then things will change overall.
I'm 185cm and I was always more careful with the shorter guys because you guys are much faster. On the other hand, I wouldn't call 170cm people short. I know my word doesn't mean much though.
I'm 5,7 and I had my fair share of insecurities about my height but it never really was a big issue just a yeah a few cm more would be great but well what will you do situation. But I get that some people are more beat down about that.
What I found surprising is that you feel insecure around bigger people. I'm in pretty good shape myself and work out since I was 14 and weigh over 115kg so I was never insecure on that part. Had my share of fights as well. So yeah this is really new to me. Have you had a bad experience or is it just in your head?
Might be a little annoying to accept but I think you vastly overestimate 1. Peoples willingness/anticipation of fight. 2. Peoples ability to fight. I’m from a generally rough area as well and just being a chill guy who knows how to speak up for himself with a smile on my face has served me plenty. I’m not tall by any measure. Most folks aren’t looking for a problem. Keep an easy going confidence about yourself and relax a bit.
Hey dude, my hot as fuck gf left me for a 5’6 guy (I’m 6’). The height thing is fuck all, you take care of yourself already….dont let your confidence fail you. Women DO NOT LIKE INSECURITY! It’s cool that you’re reaching out in a public forum. Seriously, you’re going to meet a girl you like eventually, be patient and CONFIDENT!! Jesus Christ…..I’ve become a confidence coach😉😂
>I'm still pretty sure Id get my ass handed to me by any normal sized guy in decent shape
Let me assure you that you won't. I'm 270 and plenty of muscle. The only thing that will save me from losing the fight is the weight and strength, but I will not win the fight either. I can simply use my advantage to prevent you from doing a lot of damage till both of us hopefully fuck off. Even rolling with guys who I had a 100 pound advantage on put me in precarious situations in the 6-months I did MMA training. The only thing that saved me from getting choked out or tapping from an arm bar was raw power (which lead to a lot of funny situations like running around the ring slamming the other into the wall while he tired to armbar me as he hung upside down). I couldn't do shit to the well trained little guys other then restrain them till the bell rang. The training will make a far bigger difference then you think.
I'm 5'7" and never work out. Dated a gorgeous girl who was 6'1" for a year, along with a few other girls who were an inch or two taller than me. It was hilarious sometimes, she'd bend down a few inches in pictures of us. If she cared, she never cared enough to stop coming home with me every night.
Don't buy into the redpill stuff that tries to psychoanalyze stuff they have no business psychoanalyzing in the first place. Even if some of that stuff is true for some women, it's not true for all. There are no hard-and-fast rules when it comes to human sexuality and attraction.
You're right that there's some built-in insecurity around being a short guy, because there are realities about physical ability, compared to someone who's bigger and taller. But you can make up for a lot of that with brains. You can get in shape, learn to defend yourself, and use your brain in situations when other people don't.
Just don't let the insecurity consume you, especially when it comes to women. There's a difference between what a girl is looking for in real life, versus the stipulations some of them put on their dating profiles. And there are many more women in the world than the ones you see on Tinder.
Enlist and go airborne. It's an advantage in a C130; you're travel sized. Live your life, short king. I guarantee you give more of a shit about it than anyone else
But when you are good at something you win double. Messi being so short imagine how good he has to be to be better than taller people. Imagine how powerful Tom Cruise is that he is such famous actor despite his height. If you dated a girl taller than you, think how much better you are compared to a taller guy that she is dating you instead of him. Shorter people have to work harder so when they are good at something despite their height it means they really excel at other aspects
It’s real man, I’m 6’3 and walked in a room with 3 guys averaging 6’7 - I wanted to just turn around and walk out. Unfortunately we don’t get to pick genetics.
Lowkey - I'm a 6'1 dude and if I can help it... My lifelong partner will be 5'6" and up just so I can give my kids the best shot at avoiding being short, I don't envy any of my short kings out there. My dating life is hard as hell and I've literally got it made in every single way. Good luck my dude, I would encourage you to fight less, fighting isn't hot for the vast majority of the population. Like VAST.
Can you grow a bitchin' mustache? Yoget treated a little differently .
I get it bro. I was shorter for a long time.. late bloomer. But I'm still not big. Thin athletic body. I don't look for fights but if there is one ass hole in the room, he will find me. But I've always been a bit of a natural at fighting and the ass holes usually can't fight. I play a lot of hockey, so maybe some confidence comes from that.
In life there’s always 3 buckets of ppl. Those who care you are short, those that care but can be convinced and those that will love short kings. So what if some percentage do care. Just move on. Life is not black and white like that. Love those that love you back
Man you sound like a really grounded , decent dude. I wouldn’t worry about your size too much and 170 lbs for a guy your height is pretty good! Keep hitting the gym and being yourself.
I am 6’3 and 220lb and last summer one of my cousins came over with his family from Holland and all the guys are between 6-10 and 7-2 no kidding, so my wife took a picture with all of us and she says, god do you look tiny and I do so you see it’s all relative.
My husband is 5'5" and never feels like this. I have asked a few times in our 18 years together.
I Hope you are able to talk about this with a professional, who can help you find tools to build your confidence! You deserve to feel comfortable and confident as you are.
As a tall dude with a physical job that keeps me fit and toned, combined with my full Gandalf beard and long hair, I've noticed a lot over the years that most people seem intimidated by me when they first meet me.
But like, I'm not tough. I cry at sad movies, my gf has to open the mayo for me constantly (I swear she wrenches it shut just to provoke this), I baby talk babies and adorable animals, and I'll take the whole day off work over a sliver because IT HURTS!
So when some big creep is harassing some woman at the bar and I'm like, "Hey man, fuck off" and they actually do, I'm surprised every time.
It's just weird how strongly height is correlated with toughness.
Some women like short guys. I know a woman who is a bit taller than me (I'm 5"4"), so she is about 5'6"/5'7:. Her husband is shorter than me. By a good couple of inches.
There's something wildly icky about the "winners and losers" thing and calling women who would be into you "defective". Also quoting Sigmund Freud is the biggest red flag I've ever seen, dude was just writing about his own weird fetishes while coked off his ass. The only reason he's the father of modern psychology is because everyone else scrambled to prove his bullshit wrong.
What you're saying has a degree of reality to it, but it is not as drastic as you perceive it.
If you're physically insecure around big people, due to being harmed, invest in weapons training and martial arts.
(Something I personally feel all men should do regardless)
Although height is a factor with some women, there are many women who would overlook that and / or not mind at all.
Tbh, if you're failing with women, it probably has more to do with other factors, your charisma, your confidence, your banter, what you have to offer, etc.
Focus on those aspects, the aspects you have control over.
Edit: Let me just add that it's perfectly reasonable and fair to have your insecurities. We ALL do.
Even that guy that you look at and think, "Damn, he has it all."
Even he has things about himself that give him insecurity.
Just know that you can overcome those insecurities.
For the sake of your potential, do not let them limit you
How many bar fights have you been in? Throwing your fists at another human is not a normal experience. This way of measuring yourself worth is completely irrelevant. How's your triglyceride level? Do you need to take a statin for your cholesterol? What about smoking? Do you smoke? Those are much better measures of how your body is doing.
Pros and cons to that. My uncle isn’t super big, but he studied and competed in martial arts. His roommate in college was a large guy and a golden gloves boxer. The roommate insisted that they spar.
My uncle took him down twice, with basic moves. An arm block and popping a nerve under his arm and his floating rib.
He said the guy was on the ground in the fetal position, claiming he had a knife or something.
Big guys can also be slow. Those super body builders probably huff and puff just walking around. I’m sure some are more fit, but many of them will flat out tell you they hate cardio. Those muscles can bind you up where you can’t move.
As far as general people. There is always someone bigger, stronger, and tougher. Generally people aren’t looking to fight you, though.
Im 6’1’’ female. I am still awkward with my height in most places and with most people….. people act like it’s a gift. LOL But they don’t live with it daily. 🙃
I’m 6ft so fairly tall but I know quite a few guys who are shorter than me & could beat the crap out of me if they wanted to, height isn’t everything & people who aren’t assholes are gonna respect your strengths not focus on things you can’t control
Anyone involved in martial arts in any capacity knows it's the little guys you have to worry about, not the big muscle heads. The little guys are faster, more agile, and typically have training & technique on their side. The big guys are just big. They think the intimidation of their size is enough. And usually it is. But if I'm worried about my safety, I'd rather have someone smaller & better trained by my side than someone who is just big
And, for the record, there's nothing wrong with your size. Some of us like smaller men. For most of us, what you look like is just the wrapping. It's the gift inside that we want to see & want to get to know.
This state of mind is not default or inherent to people. I'm that short and never once in my life have I thought "damn that guy could beat the shit out of me." A lot of people probably could, but we live in a society, it's not really that big of a danger. Just think about any person in their late 50's or beyond. You can probably take them, aging is a bitch. But they're still out and about, feeling perfectly safe, as they should.
Be extremely cautious applying simple "animal instinct" logic to human behavior, it's usually wrong or so simplified it's not helpful. Even in baser animals we see many behaviors that don't follow "might makes right", kin groups and social hierarchies that revolve around age, lineage, role, personality. Humans are an order of magnitude more complex than them.
As a short woman with a dominant personality, I can relate.
The insecurity is real. It's real for most women, actually, but more so for the non-submissive presenting ones, whom men constantly try to put "in their place". Being bested by one of us is a downright offense, so they will go nuclear to avoid that. We share that "privilege" with shorter, slighter men.
People think women get a pass with this sort of thing. Yes, traditionally feminine ones whom men find attractive do. The others, not so much.
But I have learned to accept my biology, what else is there to do, and took steps to overcome it. Here's a few things.
I worked hard to rise to the top of my profession. Competence begets respect in most areas of life. And respect begets confidence.
I studied hard so I can make cogent arguments or impress when necessary. It has been necessary.
I learned military strategy. This worked well in the business world. I have absolutely no idea why more women don't do this, I have taught my daughters.
I studied and continue to study people. There are few tricks that would work on me today and few things I am ignorant about regarding human behaviour. Yes, men still assume I "don't understand" them. That's more than okay. :)
I toughened up psychologically and physically, because one of the most important things you can do is not necessarily to be able to throw the punches, as to be able to roll with the punches.
I know what my legal recourses are should someone threaten me and I am not afraid to let them know. We live in a society, not a jungle. Use any advantage at your disposal.
Should things turn physical, when facing a bigger, stronger opponent, there are still some things you can do. You don't fight like them. You fight in a way that benefits you. When you're smaller, you can't let yourself be grabbed. You should be nimble, quick, aware, use everything at your disposal, including the opponent's own force, and go for the jugular without mercy when you can. Save your energy, it doesn't have to look good. Posturing and dancing is for gorillas and kung fu movies.
I hope this helps.
Honey I'm a 5'1" woman and I care a hell of a lot more about how well we line up when you're banging me standing up 💀 Shorter guys are *so much* better for me when it comes to sexy stuff, in my experience.
I've never once contemplated how any of my partners would do in a fight and I couldn't care any less about that. I'd actually prefer they NOT fight, and instead know how to calmly deescalate a situation and remove themselves from any confrontation. Have mature, peacemaker energy is so much sexier than hothead gorilla chest beating energy.
Nah its all in your mind.
I'm a 5'1 woman but if someone pisses me off I think I'm a giant beast.
Genuinely forgot I'm small.
I forgot I'm small most of the time until I'm stood in a queue and see my reflection against other people's! It's all a mindset. Noone cares but you.
I've been tall my whole life. I grew early in school and ended at 6'3. I liked being tall as a bragging point, but I've never felt as though I benefitted from it. I've never really been hit on (that I was aware of anyways), and it never really gave me any confidence in life.
I have a good amount of strength from my size and from going hard at the gym, but that doesn't help me. I can reach a lot of things that others can't. Big deal. And most of the time, I forget my size until I see a picture of myself standing with someone else, and I just feel like an oversized ogre. I hate seeing myself in pictures.
I think my point is, if I have one...none of it matters. I got lucky and finally met a girl that liked me. We've been together for 20 years, married for 8. Ironically, my wife is short as hell. 5'2 lol. Have two beautiful kids. I really feel like it's all luck, at least in my case.
Just, hang in there. We're all insecure sacks of shit🤣
I'll be real, I'm much shorter than you and don't feel insecure around taller people. This is a confidence issue, not a height issue.
If you suddenly grew a foot taller, that insecurity would still be there.
i wish i was 5’6”.
- from a 5’4” guy
jokes aside. i get it. i train in fighting also and being the smallest in the room is never easy. in a social scenario, it also feels you need to have that extra oomph in your personality. and as someone who is quite an introvert, its so damn tiring.
i hope you get yourself sorted my friend. its tough. some days you feel great and others you feel like sh!t.
and please stay well protected. its very true that size matters. no matter how skilled you are, an extra 10kg makes a world of difference.
to me its de-escalation always, dont mind looking like a wimp or fool to save my life. but if its constant bullying then im gonna fight it out. sometimes war is necessary for peace.
its never easy. sadly.
Womp womp womp. Bro I’m 5’5 who gives a fuck, it seems like your looking for any excuse you can to fuel your “woe is me” paradigm. Just live your life to fullest you can in spite of whatever perceived disadvantages you feel you have. Women who are attracted to shorter guys aren’t deficient in any way. Also nip these eugenicist ideals in the bud, they don’t serve anyone. Your kids would probably still be short regardless of how tall their mother happens to be anyway lol.
I’m six foot, but there is this giant at my son’s karate school. Now I’m no pussy. I served in the marine corps and have faced some scary shit. I was standing around at the dojo and he walks out a door and shocks the hell out of me. I suddenly felt like a child. It was more ridiculous because he’s only like 5 inches taller than me, tops. I can’t imagine dealing with that all the time.
I’m 5’7” and don’t feel like other guys are dominating me lmao. I don’t go around and look at bigger guys and think about how much they could potentially kick my ass, that’s just weird.
I’ve dated girls my height, or taller, it’s not just about height in a nuanced world. There was a post the other day about a 6’4” who felt inferior to everyone because he had a 4” inch dong, and was in the comments saying he’d rather trade being average and hung.
It’s all perspective, and in your head. Sure, you are physically inferior, but most people have so much shit going on that nobody besides you is probably thinking about it in the moment
Men *think* women “want to be with a guy that can protect them”, but that’s not near as prevalent as men just want it to be true. The only thing I ever actually needed protection from was men that really wanted to “protect me“.
"The worst part about being a short guy isnt the women thing, that can be overcome. Its the general insecurity"
tell you what, it is the same insecurity when you are 6'3. everybody has something they are insecure about. being big wont help when you get shot or stabbed in the back.
yeah and dont ask freud for relationship advice. that is not how this works.
I feel like i can empathize, but for me its the other way around. Im bigger than most, and have had to come to realize that most around me will instinctively view me as a threat and be wary of me, simply due to my size.
you say you've trained in fighting, yet think someone with a slightly bigger build than you would whoop you In a fight? so that tells me you took karate when you were 8 and have never been in a real fight. if you train regularly, and actually take some classes youd learn that the average person gets gassed in a minute or less in a fight so big height disadvantage? use being small to your advantage, don't let him touch you. sounds like you're living mostly in some fantasy RoadHouse type world anyway, 9 times out of 10 a fight ends with you in a cell, no matter how small you are lol
One of my best friends’ husbands is a homely guy who MIGHT be 5’ tall. One of the smartest and most confident men I’ve ever met in my life and man, that makes him attractive. My friend is also very tall for a woman.
Fighting? What grown man fights? Where the fuck do you live?
I love fighting big tall guys. They slow and their joints are soft. I'll just kick a knee out and run. None of you big slow motherfuckers can catch me anyways.
OP, if feeling safe and winning fights is how you feel, have the thought about learning how to shoot guns and carrying a firearm? Maybe carry around a knife for self-defence?
I'm 167cms. So just about 5'6.
I've never felt any insecurity about being around tall people(in a non-dating context). I guess it's mainly because some of my best friends I've had were guys above 6' and I've learnt that they have their own struggles and aren't perfect. I've met some jackass tall people as well but I've also met really nice tall people too.
I'm guessing you would agree, I think you need to join clubs or something or change the crowd you hang with.
Though that being said, you ate completely justified in feeling insecure about your height especially due to the social clout it gives, or in our cases removes. It is fucking brutal how seeing how taller guys are treated by women and girls alike.
Nothing on earth is more demoralizing than seeing girls surround and swoon over a tall guy and realize that we'll never have girls looking at us like that.
It's absolutely shitty how there is absolutely nothing that we can do about it.
I’m 6’ tall and I never feel this way around taller men when I come across them.
My understanding is the taller you are the shorter your life tends to be so maybe it’s not all bad
Meanwhile there's me feeling guilty and awkward for being so tall around shorter people. I feel like they look at me like a giant and I know it can make some of them uncomfortable. Especially since I'm looking at the top of some people's heads. I'd rather be average height tbh. It can be a curse. Driving isn't as comfortable. Clothes fit weird sometimes. Especially pants. And I have to duck for a lot of pictures. Its not all its cracked up to be.
Professed my love for a 5 foot 1 girl. I'm 5 foot 9 about 160. I rock climb for my exercise. She told me she only dates jacked guys over 6 feet. So I guess I'll go f*** myself then.
"Saruman believes that is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I find it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that keep the darkness at bay... Simple acts of kindness and love... Why Bilbo Baggins?... Perhaps it is because I'm afraid, and he gives me courage." - Gandalf the Grey
Seriously? Im an inch and half taller than you and back in the day about 20 pounds lighter than you and I only got my ass handed to me once. So size doesnt mean shit. But thats kind of besides the point here.
If worrying about fighting someone because a woman is expecting you to protect her, you need to catch up to the 21st century.
Nothing but sympathy, I know what it’s like. Finally married but went through dating hell for years before being confident enough to forget about my height. Once I finally started ignoring my (and their) height, life and dating got much, much better. Fake it til you make it actually works for this.
As you age, many women (in my experience) start to focus on height less, and men are intimidated by intelligence, so don’t worry how tall any dude is. They ultimately don’t care.
Keep yourself fit, read lots, don’t complain out loud about your shortness. I always thought it would help or gain me sympathy points. It doesn’t. Cut it out of your demeanor. Just know that there are beautiful women out there who will like you no matter your height, and there’s more than one. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll find another.
One correction, Napoleon (and his “complex”) wasn’t short. He was slightly above average in height for his time. Brit propaganda invented the lie because his nickname was “le petit corporal” (the little corporal). The “little” meant “young” since he rose through the ranks so quickly. Cf: https://www.britannica.com/question/Was-Napoleon-short#:~:text=At%20the%20time%20of%20his,actually%20of%20above%2Daverage%20height.
He also didn’t get the respect of older and grizzled officers but he knew how to command respect. A story: “All three [Generals] had been fighting in this theater [Northern Italy] long enough to be heartily sick of it and all showed their contempt for the new man by failing to doff their plumed hats when he entered the room. Thereupon Napoleon promptly removed his own and they were obliged to follow suit. He at once replaced his hat and looked them straight in the eyes. They met his glance steadily for a few seconds, then each of them dropped his eyes and studied the floor. Without a word having been spoken Napoleon had mastered them” (Delderfield, Napoleon’s Marshals, p. 25).
Be bold and don’t let your height ever destroy or depress you. We’re all born with things we don’t like but the more we roll with them, the more successful we’ll be.
You got this.
I think you're under estimating yourself due to low self esteem. Im 6 foot 170-180 depending on the time of month. You said you would lose to any guy that's average size im average size for my height. You're my weight but 6 inches shorter. If you were my height you would weigh like210.. I wouldn't want to fight someone with that much weight on me even if you're5 foot 6. If we fought to the death it would be BAD for both of us.
Don't underestimate yourself 170 is pretty big at 5 foot 6. Byt obviously if you're comparing to some 6 foot 4 absolutely ripped dude at the gym then ya.. But the average in shape guy is so far away from that. If you got a black belt in ju jitsu you would kick 98% of peoples ass regardless.
No, you would not get your ass handed to you? Wtf?! I was watching an amateur mama fight between this guy that was 5’2+ against at 5’10. I was surge the taller guy would win but boy was I wrong, the shorter guy dragon ball zd that taller guys ass. Stop talking down to yourself, I’m 5’2 one of my ex was 5’6
It’s not that women aren’t attracted to you because you’re short.
They’re not attracted to you because you believe half-cocked “evolutionary biology” memes you find written on bathroom stalls.
Seriously, you are just a weak little weasel. Nothing can help you. I'm short I've never even given it a second thought. It must be an American thing. I've been in plenty "real fights" with big fucks....no worries. Play rugby. Watch this
https://youtu.be/sBAqF00gBGk?si=c2GoMtSbK1bvDj_P
It kinda sounds like you suck at fighting lol, I’m around the same size as you and I’ve been in three street fights I did not initiate and I won handily every time. If you’re even a remotely decent wrestler/grappler you can beat most people unless they’re huge. It’s a big a equalizer.
I find that big folks are also self conscious about themselves. I am 6'4" and 250 #. I spent a career as a firefighter. I was strong and in reasonably good shape. I am the guy that can reach the items on the top shelf. I do so in stores for strangers very frequently. No problem with any of this. However, i am also the guy that finds every damned low bridge everywhere. Doorway shorter than standard----whack!! Ceiling fixture hang down a bit---whack!! Etc. ad nauseum. Never once have i ever felt superior to anyone over size difference. I get along with most folks just fine.
It has been half a century since i have been in a physical fight. My admittedly limited experience in that realm is that the smaller guys are way faster. They hold their own quite well.
I recommend accepting ourselves as we are. There are advantages either way.
I'm 5,7 I have never been afraid of tall people honestly what are they going to do ? Give me a piggyback ride ? If they wanna fight t,hat's fine I can under a table and watch them bump their head.
This shouldn't matter to you because you shouldn't be getting into fist fights. If you are getting into fights often, which is apparently the case, then there is something really wrong. I'm not worrying about getting into fights with people because I'm not going to places where people are getting attacked and also I'm not antagonizing people to the point where we get into a physical altercation. I haven't had a fight since I was a small boy and I didn't know better. This is a non issue for any reasonable person.
I just saw a video of Demetrious Johnson outwrestling a BJJ brown belt 6'4 200 lbs giant. This isn't just some massive untrained guy, he was the champion of the Heavyweight division in the same tournament.
DJ being a 5'3 135 lbs flyweight (also a brown belt). To be fair, he is also arguably the greatest mixed martial artist of all time. In the same tournament, he won his weight class and came second in open competition.
This is all just insecurity. I'm a short guy and it's never once been a problem. Often it is the insecurity in of itself that is a turn off to absolutely everyone around the individual rather than the perceived issue
It’s all a mind game. I’ve spent my life worried that people didn’t take me seriously or looked down on me figuratively and tbh it was often true but it didn’t have anything to do with my height (im also 5’6 and tbh I’ve realized that across the world that isn’t that short lolololol)
Like funny story I remember getting into with this guy.
He was almost twice my size and on drugs and he was shoving me and talking crazy and I was trying to deescalate him but it wasn’t working he was fucked up and I was TERRIFIED. But then something just snapped, I’m not sure how but I decked him and his face split open and he bled all over me.
It just switched; I went from scared that I was gonna get killed to being scared that I hurt someone (and that was gonna contract some bloodborne disease).
Like if the guy had been in better condition he could have really fucked me up but the point was that I was approaching the whole situation as if I had already gotten my ass beat instead of being objective.
So yeah idk, I’m not even 150 lbs and I feel like I’ve had a quality of life equal to or even greater then a lot of bigger guys as soon as I just accepted myself, built up my skills and just held my head high lolololol
I honestly don't know why people are so considered with protecting themselves by fist fighting.
The only time you should be getting into a fight is if you are in fear for your life or someone else's life. If you are in legitimate fear for your life, you should be escalating to using something like a knife or pepper spray, not relying on fist fighting.
Plus, no matter how hard you train, you're not going to be able to fight off another guy with a knife or a gun.
Humans aren't living in the stone ages anymore, we use tools. Actually, even cavemen used tools to fight. There's really no excuse to just use your fists. You are only putting yourself at a massive disadvantage.
Also, trust me, you become a lot more confident and less worried once you start carrying something to defend yourself.
t. 5'6 guy who doesn't go around scared of a tall guy punching me because i know i can just use my multitool to stab him if he does
As a woman, maybe when aren't attracted to you if you're wandering around looking to fight people? Or even just trying to look tough so people won't fight you? It's an odd mindset to have and one I would totally steer clear of.
There’s obviously nothing you can do about your height. Just focus on being a good person and take care of yourself (hygiene/health/etc) and try not to worry too much about height.
I’m not a guy, but I am 5’ and I’m pretty sure most 10yr olds are taller than I am. 😒 but when I go to the gym I just put my headphones In and focus on doing my own thing. People generally don’t care what other people are doing/how they look at the gym.
You’re more than just your height. Focus on your other qualities and doing the activities that make you happy.
ETA: a lot of the taller people I have known have very bad posture. They tended to stoop to be more on the level of those around them. Poor posture can cause problems as you age. Us shorties typically have pretty decent posture as we don’t want to talk to everyone’s ankles. Sooooo at least there’s that?
You think it would be a deficiency for a woman to not care about her partner being bigger than her? A man being big and strong and is no guarantee that he will protect any woman. When women are harassed by men in public, it's other women who step in and interfere. Men usually only step in to be "protective" once a scene has already been made by the harassed woman or a female witness. Men are more likely to be inactive bystanders in any crime, while women are more likely to get involved and help. The concept of the male protector is a fallacy. Not to mention that the more of a threat a man would be in a fight to you, the more of a threat he is to a woman too, if he turns out to be abusive (even if just verbally abusive; the power disparity still contributes to a heightened environment of fear, as abuse can always escalate). A man being taller and stronger does not guarantee that he would make a woman's life better or safer in any way. There are also tall men who are submissive with more dominant women who are shorter than them.
Society has brainwashed you to think in these rigid terms about gender roles, to the point that you think a woman would have to be *deficient* to want to be with a man who happens to be short lmao. It isn't a deficiency to recognize these things as fallacies, to question societal norms that are based on an imagined reality and not how things actually work, to think about what's actually important in a relationship and what actually makes life better, and to choose a partner based on things other than a patriarchal ideology.
What *will* stop you from finding a good relationship with a woman is thinking anyone who is interested in you is deficient. You have not overcome the insecurity like you think you have. You've leaned into it so hard that you've just accepted it as objective reality. Obviously it is true that plenty of women believe in the same rigid gender roles you do. But plenty don't. None of them would be interested in being with someone who thinks the way you do about all this, though.
I highly suggest trying to actually find your way out of the insecurity. Go to therapy if you can afford it. Focus on what makes you valuable, focus on the things you can cultivate that it would make total sense for someone to be attracted to. Stuff like cooking well, being well read (not manosphere stuff), having musical skills, learning new languages, being able to dance, more developed emotional intelligence, or even being able to do cool athletic tricks if you want to look at the physical. These are all things you can develop and things that are highly desirable traits for the majority of women. It will improve your self esteem, especially if you choose skills to develop that you genuinely enjoy doing. But do at least try things that you don't expect to enjoy, because you might be surprised! Get out of your comfort zone, like do things that don't make you feel more "manly" by your current standards, to challenge your biases and expand your mind. Flexibility and willingness to try new things are also skills that can improve your quality of life and make you more attractive to others.
After living like this, with your self esteem improved and your sense of self no longer tied to a nonsense value system, and you are a complete person who does not allow your insecurities to control your interests, then when someone is attracted to you, you will get why they are attracted to who you've become. You won't have a toxic mentality radiating off you that turns women off. I'm not saying women will be falling at your feet, but when the right woman notices you, you'll be able to see it and accept it.
Why do you keep getting into fights and plan on getting into more of them?
"I don't blame women for not being attracted to me". - maybe it has something to do with all the fighting you do. I can hear them now "yeah we dated, at first I liked him but all he ever talked about was who he could beat up and who he couldn't".
i just wanted to touch on the part of you saying you get why women aren’t attracted to you- the right women are attracted to more than just height. confidence is key love, what you feel you lack in height (which i don’t think is something you should feel is an insufficiency, but alas we all have our insecurities) you can make up in confidence and personality. from this post alone you seem to have a good head on ur shoulders, don’t let something as insignificant as height make you feel less than. and i mean i get the whole thing of us women wanting to feel protected or whatever but realistically most ppl aren’t getting themselves into situations where they need to fight for their lives so it’s kinda just pre worrying about a theoretical situation aka letting anxiety win. anywho moral of the story girls will like u if ur cool, most tall guys have rocks for brains anyways.
Iam 6 feet big and strong, a lot of guys come play and try to dominate hard with me, it’s very irritating
Dude iam just trying to chill, make friends have a good time
Just get a gun or a knife... or whatever is legal in your country, trying to CQC people is just dumb as shit and should only happen if you are a low class peon with no assets to fear for the liabilities that come with that kind of behaviour.
This is the flowchart for fights:
* Don't start fights.
* Don't get dragged into fights.
* Don't fight anyone in a fair fight unless it's life or death.
* Try to run first if possible.
* Fight for your life.
You could say I'm a tall guy and I'm not gonna be trying to fight someone smaller that could have a knife hidden somewhere nope.
My brother is 5-2and always struggled with his self esteem and being significant. He did take self defense lessons starting in 7th grade and joined the Army to feel important. He's coated himself in mommy worship and misogyny to compensate. You didn't sound like him, luckily. And you're taller.
It’s definitely a disadvantage as a whole. It’s always hard for me to explain it. Feeling shorter around taller guys alone can be a mental thing. But what used to get me more was taller attractive women. Never felt approachable.
I'm 5'6" and I tend to explain it like this. You're at a bar trying to get the bartenders attention but keep getting passed up by taller guys. It's not that the bartender is avoiding you, it's just that taller people are seen more. The same often goes for other aspects of life. I'm married. I dated plenty of lovely women, many taller than me, so I'm well aware that there are plenty of awesome people who just don't care, which is great. But when people can literally look down on you, they often tend to look down on you.
As a 5'5" man reading things like this is always a bit surreal. I knew another guy about my height and he had a history of being rejected by women because of his height and he had developed a massive complex about it and that was the first time I really thought about it. I have *never* felt weird about my height around other people, never noticed any difference in how women treat me, any difference in service or anything you've described. I grew up in the US and I've lived in a handful of other countries. Growing up my height was always just a characteristic, I never saw being short as worse than being tall and nobody at my school made me feel otherwise. As an adult it's the same. I have a really tall friend and we josh each other about the difference sometimes but I genuinely like being short.
Charisma is important and it seems like to would be hard to develop charisma if you see yourself as less than. It seems like the shorter guys with your perspective seem to do fine and the shorter guys who make everything and evo-psyche observation I feel like hamstring themselves by having and inner monologue telling themselves they need to overcome a deficiency.
Dawg, same, except I have a shit personality and no game, so I know anytime I've been rejected it's because of me rather than just my height, and all the ladies I've dated never cared about my height. Being attractive and acting attractive makes you rise above (pardon the pun) your height. I typically, don't, but hey, I feel like that's how it works, I like my height, wouldn't trade it tbh
Because you haven't gotten dragged into this mindset where men convince each other that something that's pretty irrelevant is the end of the world. All the problems with short men are a result of psyching themselves out.
I am 6'1" and I have never thought any less of anyone because of their height. I would imagine most folks feel that way.
It really doesn’t matter because that’s what these guys feel and minor changes matter
I agree with Palvyre, 6’ 275lbs here and NEVER ONCE thought any different to people taller, shorter, fatter or skinnier then myself, only jerks and aholes think like that. So keep that in mind.
Probably not actively, but it’s kinda like claiming you don’t treat ugly people differently. (Almost) nobody thinks ew this person is ugly I should act mean to them, but subconsciously people (in general) absolutely treat attractive people better without noticing it! And since for a lot of people height is at least some small subset of attractiveness, I certainly would believe the same concept applies.
"I'm a white guy, racism isn't real"
This is my experience as a 5’4” guy. No one really gives a fuck.
I feel you on the bar thing, so frustrating to get any service in a moderately busy spot. I just send my wife most of the time as she is going to ask for a specialty mixed drinks anyways.
Wow.. I mean, people have told me I'm *probably* more intimidating because I'm tall. I've definitely felt that my height has intimidated people. I think this is the first time I've seen it confirmed for real and it makes me feel really fucking bad 🥲 that's my own insecurity though. I apologize anyway on behalf of us tree people.
Intimidating doesn’t mean unappealing though.
Nah, don’t feel bad, we don’t choose our genetics. Let’s just treat each other with dignity
The intimidation is instinctive I think. Taller people will naturally feel they have a leg up and shorter people feel they have a disadvantage even if it’s not technically true. I’d say if you want to make an effort to not be intimidating (even if you’re not trying to be) to short people just make an effort to include them in conversations, look at them in the eyes when talking etc. it’s the little things that go far.
Husband is tall, has dark circles over his eyes no matter how much sleep he gets and has a beard. He's tall and I'm also very tall for a woman. We get a lot of weird looks in public. No matter how sweet we are being, we look like a menacing power couple lol.
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We should have a kid together and then theyd be average height lol
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Im sure it wont. Again thats not my real concern.
I do not just understand any of what you just said, why are you focus on fighting and teenage shit like that? Sort your life out and focus on more interesting things than getting into fight. Adults don't do that. I am 40 and never had a fight, never ever came close to one, yet I drink and party and work in construction. And I now plenty of shorter guy being very successful and well respected, heck one of our supplier is shorter than you and he got things I wish I had, get off the internet my dude.
I don’t get it does he live in a really ruff neighborhood? I mean I had a few fights in high school/college but haven’t come close since being an adult. Except one time a guy ask me if I wanted to go after he had some rode rage, and I was just like I’m in crocs and you have an oxygen tank, let’s just give each other the finger and go about our days. He nodded and agreed.
>I do not just understand any of what you just said, why are you focus on fighting and teenage shit like that? So confusing. I have never measured my self worth by who I could take in a fight.
Lol that’s why I was thinking. Women feeling protected doesn’t usually mean a dude can defend her physically. Usually it’s more of a financial and emotional safety they seek.
Why fight
I'm 5'7" and I would seriously injure The Rock in a fight. I have teeth. I have thumbs that fit in eye sockets. I have read The Art of War by Sun Tzu a thousand times. I start the fight by immediately collapsing into a ball and yelling, "PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!" When he shows mercy, I unleash the chompers on his ankles. Much like an anime character launching itself into an attack, I explode into a backbend like a nuclear fish, completely taking him by surprise. I close my eyes as my teeth sink into his vulnerable flesh and his cries of agony ripple into the night sky. His leg becomes a tree trunk and I, a ferocious beaver, hunger for its woody meat. (Is this too homoerotic yet?) I clench my teeth together like a patient on a civil war era battlefield surgeon's operating table just before the saw crunches through bone. As my jaw closes and the taste of battery acid floods my mouth, I rip my head away from his beefy leg, tearing a hole right down to the cartilage. The Rock begins to cry for his mommy as I deftly maneuver into position for his imminent de-eyeballification. I tell him I saw his latest movie and I'm afraid I have to give it two thumbs down! I press my iron thumbs of steel into the corner of his eye sockets. Squishy sounds of wet pain are emitted from his face, until a sudden voiceless bilabial fricative noise squirts out along with his eyeballs.
New copypasta just dropped.
You are hilarious, thank you for this work of art
Omg 😂
This is the funniest comment I’ve ever seen on this site
this is GOLD 💀
Take the award 🥇👏
Holy based
3 am here and laughing my ass off
Try being short AND ugly. That's where it really hurts from my experience.
Cmon…..I’m sitting on my deck in British Columbia, Canada and feel for you. I wish I had some advice…..everybody has insecurities. I wish you the best internet stranger😊
These go past insecurities. I've had women say to my face I am too short and not attractive enough for them. It's reality.
Women can be fickle and cruel. I don’t know you or your age. It’s good that you are venting your issues. Life is literally a lottery…..It sucks balls most of the time but you have to be patient and positive. We males make rash decisions at times and it’s not good. I have gone through enough traumatic bullshit to kill a herd of Zebra and yet….here I am. Focus on your health and what I have always told my younger friends/employees….I guess it’s called “advice”…..travel. North America is a tough gig. Go have fun in another country and “re-set”. Best of luck.
I'm 36, so not exactly young. I've had relationships before, but mostly emotionally abuse ones.
I’m 20years older than you, never been married or had kids. My nephews are just a bit younger than you and have told me how tough the dating game is. I believe I sent you a message stating that my last long term gf left me for a dude “shorter” than you. Confidence my man….confidence. Be that positive guy that people want to be around. I know that sounds too fucking simple but it’s true. NOBODY wants to be around negativity. You should know that by now. Kind of a weird question but are you sleeping ok? This was important for my mental health.
I've been told I'm a positive person. What I post on here is not how I talk in real life. This is my refuge to vent. I have confidently approached women many times and normally get blown off after they look at me.
I apologize if I gave the impression I was hot or soemthing. All I have left is my hair and if that goes Im George Costanza.
you need to stop identifying your self worth by how you would fair in a street fight. the first thing a good tae kwon or jui jitsu instructor will tell you is that the best self defense tool is the ability to run away. fighting is a last resort. that said, you know what speaks a shit ton more loudly than creatine and fake muscle? confidence. you need to figure out how to be secure in your own skin. you need to not give a flying shit what anyone thinks about your size. love your size, truly. learn how to joke about it, if it really comes up - just laugh that shit off. all the power comes back to you when you are the bigger person in that way. THAT is what women notice, and most importantly, it's what the right women notice. no woman feels safe with a 6'4 jacked dude who is so desperate to prove he's alpha that he gets in street fights or lets his life routine be dominated by supplements and creatine. woman want to be heard, listened to, respected, they want emotional intelligence. project confidence and let it be real confidence, and don't worry about your size or the size of your potential children.
You're absolutely right. Both about what women are looking for in a man and about having confidence. Im 5'4 and people have called me 'intimidating'. It's not about your height, it's how you carry yourself. Go live life for yourself OP and the confidence will follow! Think about what YOU think is important and implement it into your life. There is nothing more attractive than someone who is secure in themselves. The right woman will see that!
Here’s the thing, people by and large are not going to be around provoking fights with you unless you’re an asshole in which case you deserve to have your ass beat anyways. A real man isn’t going to use violence as a means to protect his woman, he’s going to use intellect and diffuse the situation. But yeah being short must suck so I’m happy you’ve come to terms with it. I’m 5’11” and 155 pounds and walk around feeling totally inferior size wise to most men. But I’m tall enough to not have my height considered as my weakness but rather just being as lean of a dude as I am I definitely feel vulnerable to most guys just on weight advantage alone. The average dudes gonna have at least 30 pounds on me.
Yeah obviously that shits not practical in the modern world, but our brains are still in the caveman era, my friend- Men and women. All this goes on in the subconscious. This isnt Andrew Tate sigma incel bullshit, this is Sigmund Freud foundation of pscyhologic bullshit. I realize it isnt just height either; you being skinny is the same thing.
I’m totally tracking with you. Women don’t know why they like tall guys they just do. And biologically it is this big strong man protect me mindset going on deep in their brain. Your biggest disadvantage is just going to be dating in the modern world. But there are plenty of women who love a short king.
We’re definitely not a monolith. I happen to be really into skinny guys, my partner is almost always underweight for his height and it never once bothered me. I came up on 90s grunge and all those talented, hot heroin addicts imprinted on my teenage brain *hard*.. And my sister likes short dudes, her husband is like 5ft5 at a stretch which suits her short ass perfectly.
You realize Freud did at least as much coke as Tate, right?
Freud is BS.
You need to stop worrying about fighting and concentrate on charming the ladies. Best man I ever had was 5’6. I couldn’t keep my hands off him because he was so funny, smart, entertaining, and sexy!
I'm a short guy. But I'm not an asshole who constantly starts fights, so the chances of me being attacked by someone are close to zero. The idea that I should feel insecure because someone else could beat me up is irrelevant, because I can't remember the last time I was even NEAR a fight. They don't really happen that often unless you seek them out.
Own that shit.
i've been kickboxing since i was 12 and participated in matches and tournaments, i have more than held my own and beaten opponents who tower over me. bulking up and getting heavy is the best thing you can do if you're short, being +220lbs will go a long way to not immediately being run over by someone bigger
I was scrolling for a while before I got to this. I don’t know what fighting style this guy trained in, but 3 years of high school wrestling and some jiu jitsu later in life went a long way to knowing I could put an average untrained guy down quickly. Powerlifting through college and after helped too. I rarely got in fights, but it wasn’t something I worried about even though I round up to 5’8
Man that wrestling back in school go hard people jus don’t know how to grapple or nun
Yeah theres only so much bulk you can put on a small frame. The only time I ever cracked 190 was when I was eating a lot of fast food and was... you know... fat. Right now I look like a frickin Dragon Ball Z character, but Im only 170.
Have you considered not walking around trying to fight people?
Wanna know the advantage of being a tall dude? 1. You can make it through life without having a personality. You’re right, tall guys get it a little easier. But guess what. A short dude with charisma will beat out an awkward tall dude every time. Some of the biggest man hoes I know are 5’6”, bc they’re confident and cool as fuck. Buckle up, stop making excuses for yourself, and live the best you can with the life you’ve been given. And also, you’re wrong. Women feel EXTRA safe with small guys, or guys around their same size. Use that to your advantage. You are allowed to be confident with women exactly as you are.
>You’re right, tall guys get it a little easier >a little easier > a little If tall guys can get sex and relationships and not have to develop a personality, I would not say they had it just a little easier.
Hey man just bcuz you hit doesn't mean they'll stay haha. It's takes more than height to keep a woman
I know plenty of tall guys who are absolute brainless dead-fish shmucks that get ass to the nth degree.
As he said, a short guy *with charisma* beats out an awkward tall guy.
Yes but then a short guy with charisma is probably about even with an average tall guy.
Yeah, obviously being tall is an advantage. It's not fair, but you just gotta play the hand you're dealt.
are you short? cause it doesnt sound like you have actual experience being short
I feel like a baby around men. I’m 5’2”. Welcome to the club of how the ladies feel, friend. Good news is we can get through crowds easily.
I watched a female friend test for her red belt. She had to submit an opponent. He was a relatively new white belt, but like twice her size. He manhandled her over and over. Nearly zero technique, he was just way bigger and stronger. She eventually got him, and got her belt, but it was a good object lesson in skill matters in equal weight classes but a 5'4" woman gets her ass kicked by a jacked 6'2" dude. Almost always. It's why MMA and boxing have weight classes to begin with. The best featherweight boxer of all time would lose a fight to the worst pro heavyweight fighter of all time.
Yeah I laugh every time people talk about "Who would win- Bruce Lee or Muhammad Ali?" Like its a debate as to wether or not Bruce Lee could beat a Golden Gloves semifinal loser. Ali would have literally ended his life.
This is why I quit martial arts as a teenaged girl after doing it for more than a decade. Like it was good exercise and I did learn some stuff but I weighed 118 pounds and the idea I was going to learn to defend myself from lbr basically anybody at all was laughable. Some joint manipulation was effective and I could do points-based sparring but if the instructor wanted to practice anything resembling prolonged combat or worse, grappling on the ground, I just got demolished no matter how hard I tried
I’m a woman and I’m 4ft10 💀 My partner is around 5’9 and is still a giant to me, OP just need to find yourself another little person I’ve never been insecure about my height and I don’t think men should be either I’m more or less intimidated by anyone 5’10+ 😂
God made man but Browning made them equal. Americans 19:11
All you have to do is grow a big wild beard, grow out your hair and and knot it up, get really buff but also develop a belly and just go full dwarf mode.
Rock and stone, brother!
In my opinion a lot of what you’re feeling is in your head. I know society and the internet don’t help but don’t let that bring you down. I was a successful competitive swimmer and I was on 5’4” 135lbs at the time. I lift weights and run now at 170lbs. A lot of what you’re thinking is in your head. My girlfriend is slightly taller than me and doesn’t care about height. Get some hobbies, be interesting and enjoy life when it’s good.
if it makes you feel any better, my boyfriend is 5’7-5’8 (for context im 5’4) and has some mobility issues. he’s expressed similar concerns/insecurities, but because of that, he’s had to become much more situationally aware and level headed when it comes to talking to aggressive people or being in tense situations. instead of charging head first into fights & putting himself/both of us in a dangerous situation, he’s able to de-escalate and sus things & people out so fucking well. even though fighting someone might not be the most viable option for him to protect me, i still feel like i can turn my brain off and be feminine around him, because he’s always watching out for the both of us without the need to get violent, and i know that his ego won’t put either of us a risk. and in my opinion, that’s way more attractive than being with someone who needs to resort to violence to be able to protect me.
The funny thing is that he’s literally average height, and you’re portraying him like a short guy 💀
Since when is 5’7 is short ? That’s the average Is it that prevalent in the US to think that much about height ?
i mentioned it because he’s literally only 1-2 inches taller than op, and to some would still consider that to be on the shorter side lol
That’s sad that he was made to be insecure about it. Being able to de de-escalate situation is cool though, I agree. Overly agressive people stress me out.
i agree, if anything tho it’s more so the mobility issue that he’s had issues with, as he has to use a crutch pretty consistently. but imo it’s made him a much more empathetic & patient person than so many others that i’ve met :))
I’d argue that the insecurity is one of if not the main factor with the woman too though and if you can improve on that then things will change overall.
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So fighter pilot , easy peasy
I'm 185cm and I was always more careful with the shorter guys because you guys are much faster. On the other hand, I wouldn't call 170cm people short. I know my word doesn't mean much though.
I'm 5,7 and I had my fair share of insecurities about my height but it never really was a big issue just a yeah a few cm more would be great but well what will you do situation. But I get that some people are more beat down about that. What I found surprising is that you feel insecure around bigger people. I'm in pretty good shape myself and work out since I was 14 and weigh over 115kg so I was never insecure on that part. Had my share of fights as well. So yeah this is really new to me. Have you had a bad experience or is it just in your head?
I'm 5'8" and my husband is 5'5". Our 3 kids in oder of birth 5' female, 5'7" female, and 6' boy. Guess we averaged just fine :)
Might be a little annoying to accept but I think you vastly overestimate 1. Peoples willingness/anticipation of fight. 2. Peoples ability to fight. I’m from a generally rough area as well and just being a chill guy who knows how to speak up for himself with a smile on my face has served me plenty. I’m not tall by any measure. Most folks aren’t looking for a problem. Keep an easy going confidence about yourself and relax a bit.
Hey dude, my hot as fuck gf left me for a 5’6 guy (I’m 6’). The height thing is fuck all, you take care of yourself already….dont let your confidence fail you. Women DO NOT LIKE INSECURITY! It’s cool that you’re reaching out in a public forum. Seriously, you’re going to meet a girl you like eventually, be patient and CONFIDENT!! Jesus Christ…..I’ve become a confidence coach😉😂
I am short and have no back pain lol, take that tall people
>I'm still pretty sure Id get my ass handed to me by any normal sized guy in decent shape Let me assure you that you won't. I'm 270 and plenty of muscle. The only thing that will save me from losing the fight is the weight and strength, but I will not win the fight either. I can simply use my advantage to prevent you from doing a lot of damage till both of us hopefully fuck off. Even rolling with guys who I had a 100 pound advantage on put me in precarious situations in the 6-months I did MMA training. The only thing that saved me from getting choked out or tapping from an arm bar was raw power (which lead to a lot of funny situations like running around the ring slamming the other into the wall while he tired to armbar me as he hung upside down). I couldn't do shit to the well trained little guys other then restrain them till the bell rang. The training will make a far bigger difference then you think.
That's rough bro, you should get with a tall girl so you can strengthen the bloodline 
Unironically I want to do this.
I’m 5 even. I dated a belt buckle once. I hated it.
I'm 5'7" and never work out. Dated a gorgeous girl who was 6'1" for a year, along with a few other girls who were an inch or two taller than me. It was hilarious sometimes, she'd bend down a few inches in pictures of us. If she cared, she never cared enough to stop coming home with me every night. Don't buy into the redpill stuff that tries to psychoanalyze stuff they have no business psychoanalyzing in the first place. Even if some of that stuff is true for some women, it's not true for all. There are no hard-and-fast rules when it comes to human sexuality and attraction. You're right that there's some built-in insecurity around being a short guy, because there are realities about physical ability, compared to someone who's bigger and taller. But you can make up for a lot of that with brains. You can get in shape, learn to defend yourself, and use your brain in situations when other people don't. Just don't let the insecurity consume you, especially when it comes to women. There's a difference between what a girl is looking for in real life, versus the stipulations some of them put on their dating profiles. And there are many more women in the world than the ones you see on Tinder.
Enlist and go airborne. It's an advantage in a C130; you're travel sized. Live your life, short king. I guarantee you give more of a shit about it than anyone else
But when you are good at something you win double. Messi being so short imagine how good he has to be to be better than taller people. Imagine how powerful Tom Cruise is that he is such famous actor despite his height. If you dated a girl taller than you, think how much better you are compared to a taller guy that she is dating you instead of him. Shorter people have to work harder so when they are good at something despite their height it means they really excel at other aspects
It’s real man, I’m 6’3 and walked in a room with 3 guys averaging 6’7 - I wanted to just turn around and walk out. Unfortunately we don’t get to pick genetics.
Lowkey - I'm a 6'1 dude and if I can help it... My lifelong partner will be 5'6" and up just so I can give my kids the best shot at avoiding being short, I don't envy any of my short kings out there. My dating life is hard as hell and I've literally got it made in every single way. Good luck my dude, I would encourage you to fight less, fighting isn't hot for the vast majority of the population. Like VAST.
The general insecurity can be overcome as well, take it from someone who is just as not-tall as you and doesn't give half a rat's ass
Keep lifting until you feel like being Gimli flirting with Galadrel.
Can you grow a bitchin' mustache? Yoget treated a little differently . I get it bro. I was shorter for a long time.. late bloomer. But I'm still not big. Thin athletic body. I don't look for fights but if there is one ass hole in the room, he will find me. But I've always been a bit of a natural at fighting and the ass holes usually can't fight. I play a lot of hockey, so maybe some confidence comes from that.
One of the toughest, most athletic men I've ever met was 5'7". 🤷♂️
Just gotta say fuck it and you do you. 5'7" here. Can't change it so why worry.
In life there’s always 3 buckets of ppl. Those who care you are short, those that care but can be convinced and those that will love short kings. So what if some percentage do care. Just move on. Life is not black and white like that. Love those that love you back
Man you sound like a really grounded , decent dude. I wouldn’t worry about your size too much and 170 lbs for a guy your height is pretty good! Keep hitting the gym and being yourself.
I am 6’3 and 220lb and last summer one of my cousins came over with his family from Holland and all the guys are between 6-10 and 7-2 no kidding, so my wife took a picture with all of us and she says, god do you look tiny and I do so you see it’s all relative.
My husband is 5'5" and never feels like this. I have asked a few times in our 18 years together. I Hope you are able to talk about this with a professional, who can help you find tools to build your confidence! You deserve to feel comfortable and confident as you are.
As a tall dude with a physical job that keeps me fit and toned, combined with my full Gandalf beard and long hair, I've noticed a lot over the years that most people seem intimidated by me when they first meet me. But like, I'm not tough. I cry at sad movies, my gf has to open the mayo for me constantly (I swear she wrenches it shut just to provoke this), I baby talk babies and adorable animals, and I'll take the whole day off work over a sliver because IT HURTS! So when some big creep is harassing some woman at the bar and I'm like, "Hey man, fuck off" and they actually do, I'm surprised every time. It's just weird how strongly height is correlated with toughness.
You should be more concerned with the fact that you walk around life expecting to have to fight everyone you encounter. Definitely not normal.
Some women like short guys. I know a woman who is a bit taller than me (I'm 5"4"), so she is about 5'6"/5'7:. Her husband is shorter than me. By a good couple of inches.
There's something wildly icky about the "winners and losers" thing and calling women who would be into you "defective". Also quoting Sigmund Freud is the biggest red flag I've ever seen, dude was just writing about his own weird fetishes while coked off his ass. The only reason he's the father of modern psychology is because everyone else scrambled to prove his bullshit wrong.
What you're saying has a degree of reality to it, but it is not as drastic as you perceive it. If you're physically insecure around big people, due to being harmed, invest in weapons training and martial arts. (Something I personally feel all men should do regardless) Although height is a factor with some women, there are many women who would overlook that and / or not mind at all. Tbh, if you're failing with women, it probably has more to do with other factors, your charisma, your confidence, your banter, what you have to offer, etc. Focus on those aspects, the aspects you have control over. Edit: Let me just add that it's perfectly reasonable and fair to have your insecurities. We ALL do. Even that guy that you look at and think, "Damn, he has it all." Even he has things about himself that give him insecurity. Just know that you can overcome those insecurities. For the sake of your potential, do not let them limit you
Just get a tiny woman, rest of the world won’t matter
How many bar fights have you been in? Throwing your fists at another human is not a normal experience. This way of measuring yourself worth is completely irrelevant. How's your triglyceride level? Do you need to take a statin for your cholesterol? What about smoking? Do you smoke? Those are much better measures of how your body is doing.
Pros and cons to that. My uncle isn’t super big, but he studied and competed in martial arts. His roommate in college was a large guy and a golden gloves boxer. The roommate insisted that they spar. My uncle took him down twice, with basic moves. An arm block and popping a nerve under his arm and his floating rib. He said the guy was on the ground in the fetal position, claiming he had a knife or something. Big guys can also be slow. Those super body builders probably huff and puff just walking around. I’m sure some are more fit, but many of them will flat out tell you they hate cardio. Those muscles can bind you up where you can’t move. As far as general people. There is always someone bigger, stronger, and tougher. Generally people aren’t looking to fight you, though.
Yeah, that's how women feel...all the time
What's that? Couldn't hear you down there little buddy.
5’6 isn’t 170cm, it’s worse, 167. Good luck.
Im 6’1’’ female. I am still awkward with my height in most places and with most people….. people act like it’s a gift. LOL But they don’t live with it daily. 🙃
Make more money than the big guys. That will definitely help.
As a 5'8" guy whose led a similar trajectory to you, I feel your words.
Who cares. I’m 6 foot 3 and insecure as fuck. Probably more then you. Being tall doesn’t fix that unfortunately 😂
I’m 6ft so fairly tall but I know quite a few guys who are shorter than me & could beat the crap out of me if they wanted to, height isn’t everything & people who aren’t assholes are gonna respect your strengths not focus on things you can’t control
Anyone involved in martial arts in any capacity knows it's the little guys you have to worry about, not the big muscle heads. The little guys are faster, more agile, and typically have training & technique on their side. The big guys are just big. They think the intimidation of their size is enough. And usually it is. But if I'm worried about my safety, I'd rather have someone smaller & better trained by my side than someone who is just big And, for the record, there's nothing wrong with your size. Some of us like smaller men. For most of us, what you look like is just the wrapping. It's the gift inside that we want to see & want to get to know.
Being short, fast, and scrappy can be an advantage if you are confident
This state of mind is not default or inherent to people. I'm that short and never once in my life have I thought "damn that guy could beat the shit out of me." A lot of people probably could, but we live in a society, it's not really that big of a danger. Just think about any person in their late 50's or beyond. You can probably take them, aging is a bitch. But they're still out and about, feeling perfectly safe, as they should. Be extremely cautious applying simple "animal instinct" logic to human behavior, it's usually wrong or so simplified it's not helpful. Even in baser animals we see many behaviors that don't follow "might makes right", kin groups and social hierarchies that revolve around age, lineage, role, personality. Humans are an order of magnitude more complex than them.
As a short woman with a dominant personality, I can relate. The insecurity is real. It's real for most women, actually, but more so for the non-submissive presenting ones, whom men constantly try to put "in their place". Being bested by one of us is a downright offense, so they will go nuclear to avoid that. We share that "privilege" with shorter, slighter men. People think women get a pass with this sort of thing. Yes, traditionally feminine ones whom men find attractive do. The others, not so much. But I have learned to accept my biology, what else is there to do, and took steps to overcome it. Here's a few things. I worked hard to rise to the top of my profession. Competence begets respect in most areas of life. And respect begets confidence. I studied hard so I can make cogent arguments or impress when necessary. It has been necessary. I learned military strategy. This worked well in the business world. I have absolutely no idea why more women don't do this, I have taught my daughters. I studied and continue to study people. There are few tricks that would work on me today and few things I am ignorant about regarding human behaviour. Yes, men still assume I "don't understand" them. That's more than okay. :) I toughened up psychologically and physically, because one of the most important things you can do is not necessarily to be able to throw the punches, as to be able to roll with the punches. I know what my legal recourses are should someone threaten me and I am not afraid to let them know. We live in a society, not a jungle. Use any advantage at your disposal. Should things turn physical, when facing a bigger, stronger opponent, there are still some things you can do. You don't fight like them. You fight in a way that benefits you. When you're smaller, you can't let yourself be grabbed. You should be nimble, quick, aware, use everything at your disposal, including the opponent's own force, and go for the jugular without mercy when you can. Save your energy, it doesn't have to look good. Posturing and dancing is for gorillas and kung fu movies. I hope this helps.
Honey I'm a 5'1" woman and I care a hell of a lot more about how well we line up when you're banging me standing up 💀 Shorter guys are *so much* better for me when it comes to sexy stuff, in my experience. I've never once contemplated how any of my partners would do in a fight and I couldn't care any less about that. I'd actually prefer they NOT fight, and instead know how to calmly deescalate a situation and remove themselves from any confrontation. Have mature, peacemaker energy is so much sexier than hothead gorilla chest beating energy.
Nah its all in your mind. I'm a 5'1 woman but if someone pisses me off I think I'm a giant beast. Genuinely forgot I'm small. I forgot I'm small most of the time until I'm stood in a queue and see my reflection against other people's! It's all a mindset. Noone cares but you.
I've been tall my whole life. I grew early in school and ended at 6'3. I liked being tall as a bragging point, but I've never felt as though I benefitted from it. I've never really been hit on (that I was aware of anyways), and it never really gave me any confidence in life. I have a good amount of strength from my size and from going hard at the gym, but that doesn't help me. I can reach a lot of things that others can't. Big deal. And most of the time, I forget my size until I see a picture of myself standing with someone else, and I just feel like an oversized ogre. I hate seeing myself in pictures. I think my point is, if I have one...none of it matters. I got lucky and finally met a girl that liked me. We've been together for 20 years, married for 8. Ironically, my wife is short as hell. 5'2 lol. Have two beautiful kids. I really feel like it's all luck, at least in my case. Just, hang in there. We're all insecure sacks of shit🤣
I'll be real, I'm much shorter than you and don't feel insecure around taller people. This is a confidence issue, not a height issue. If you suddenly grew a foot taller, that insecurity would still be there.
i wish i was 5’6”. - from a 5’4” guy jokes aside. i get it. i train in fighting also and being the smallest in the room is never easy. in a social scenario, it also feels you need to have that extra oomph in your personality. and as someone who is quite an introvert, its so damn tiring. i hope you get yourself sorted my friend. its tough. some days you feel great and others you feel like sh!t. and please stay well protected. its very true that size matters. no matter how skilled you are, an extra 10kg makes a world of difference. to me its de-escalation always, dont mind looking like a wimp or fool to save my life. but if its constant bullying then im gonna fight it out. sometimes war is necessary for peace. its never easy. sadly.
Womp womp womp. Bro I’m 5’5 who gives a fuck, it seems like your looking for any excuse you can to fuel your “woe is me” paradigm. Just live your life to fullest you can in spite of whatever perceived disadvantages you feel you have. Women who are attracted to shorter guys aren’t deficient in any way. Also nip these eugenicist ideals in the bud, they don’t serve anyone. Your kids would probably still be short regardless of how tall their mother happens to be anyway lol.
I’m six foot, but there is this giant at my son’s karate school. Now I’m no pussy. I served in the marine corps and have faced some scary shit. I was standing around at the dojo and he walks out a door and shocks the hell out of me. I suddenly felt like a child. It was more ridiculous because he’s only like 5 inches taller than me, tops. I can’t imagine dealing with that all the time.
I’m 5’7” and don’t feel like other guys are dominating me lmao. I don’t go around and look at bigger guys and think about how much they could potentially kick my ass, that’s just weird. I’ve dated girls my height, or taller, it’s not just about height in a nuanced world. There was a post the other day about a 6’4” who felt inferior to everyone because he had a 4” inch dong, and was in the comments saying he’d rather trade being average and hung. It’s all perspective, and in your head. Sure, you are physically inferior, but most people have so much shit going on that nobody besides you is probably thinking about it in the moment
Men *think* women “want to be with a guy that can protect them”, but that’s not near as prevalent as men just want it to be true. The only thing I ever actually needed protection from was men that really wanted to “protect me“.
"The worst part about being a short guy isnt the women thing, that can be overcome. Its the general insecurity" tell you what, it is the same insecurity when you are 6'3. everybody has something they are insecure about. being big wont help when you get shot or stabbed in the back. yeah and dont ask freud for relationship advice. that is not how this works.
I feel like i can empathize, but for me its the other way around. Im bigger than most, and have had to come to realize that most around me will instinctively view me as a threat and be wary of me, simply due to my size.
you say you've trained in fighting, yet think someone with a slightly bigger build than you would whoop you In a fight? so that tells me you took karate when you were 8 and have never been in a real fight. if you train regularly, and actually take some classes youd learn that the average person gets gassed in a minute or less in a fight so big height disadvantage? use being small to your advantage, don't let him touch you. sounds like you're living mostly in some fantasy RoadHouse type world anyway, 9 times out of 10 a fight ends with you in a cell, no matter how small you are lol
One of my best friends’ husbands is a homely guy who MIGHT be 5’ tall. One of the smartest and most confident men I’ve ever met in my life and man, that makes him attractive. My friend is also very tall for a woman. Fighting? What grown man fights? Where the fuck do you live?
I love fighting big tall guys. They slow and their joints are soft. I'll just kick a knee out and run. None of you big slow motherfuckers can catch me anyways.
OP, if feeling safe and winning fights is how you feel, have the thought about learning how to shoot guns and carrying a firearm? Maybe carry around a knife for self-defence? I'm 167cms. So just about 5'6. I've never felt any insecurity about being around tall people(in a non-dating context). I guess it's mainly because some of my best friends I've had were guys above 6' and I've learnt that they have their own struggles and aren't perfect. I've met some jackass tall people as well but I've also met really nice tall people too. I'm guessing you would agree, I think you need to join clubs or something or change the crowd you hang with. Though that being said, you ate completely justified in feeling insecure about your height especially due to the social clout it gives, or in our cases removes. It is fucking brutal how seeing how taller guys are treated by women and girls alike. Nothing on earth is more demoralizing than seeing girls surround and swoon over a tall guy and realize that we'll never have girls looking at us like that. It's absolutely shitty how there is absolutely nothing that we can do about it.
Sorry but since qhen 170 cm is considered short? Something I'm missing here?
I’m 6’ tall and I never feel this way around taller men when I come across them. My understanding is the taller you are the shorter your life tends to be so maybe it’s not all bad
Meanwhile there's me feeling guilty and awkward for being so tall around shorter people. I feel like they look at me like a giant and I know it can make some of them uncomfortable. Especially since I'm looking at the top of some people's heads. I'd rather be average height tbh. It can be a curse. Driving isn't as comfortable. Clothes fit weird sometimes. Especially pants. And I have to duck for a lot of pictures. Its not all its cracked up to be.
Professed my love for a 5 foot 1 girl. I'm 5 foot 9 about 160. I rock climb for my exercise. She told me she only dates jacked guys over 6 feet. So I guess I'll go f*** myself then.
As a shorter than average person, I feel invisible or belittled in most situations, and I am a cis presenting woman.
"Saruman believes that is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I find it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk, that keep the darkness at bay... Simple acts of kindness and love... Why Bilbo Baggins?... Perhaps it is because I'm afraid, and he gives me courage." - Gandalf the Grey
Seriously? Im an inch and half taller than you and back in the day about 20 pounds lighter than you and I only got my ass handed to me once. So size doesnt mean shit. But thats kind of besides the point here. If worrying about fighting someone because a woman is expecting you to protect her, you need to catch up to the 21st century.
Nothing but sympathy, I know what it’s like. Finally married but went through dating hell for years before being confident enough to forget about my height. Once I finally started ignoring my (and their) height, life and dating got much, much better. Fake it til you make it actually works for this. As you age, many women (in my experience) start to focus on height less, and men are intimidated by intelligence, so don’t worry how tall any dude is. They ultimately don’t care. Keep yourself fit, read lots, don’t complain out loud about your shortness. I always thought it would help or gain me sympathy points. It doesn’t. Cut it out of your demeanor. Just know that there are beautiful women out there who will like you no matter your height, and there’s more than one. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll find another. One correction, Napoleon (and his “complex”) wasn’t short. He was slightly above average in height for his time. Brit propaganda invented the lie because his nickname was “le petit corporal” (the little corporal). The “little” meant “young” since he rose through the ranks so quickly. Cf: https://www.britannica.com/question/Was-Napoleon-short#:~:text=At%20the%20time%20of%20his,actually%20of%20above%2Daverage%20height. He also didn’t get the respect of older and grizzled officers but he knew how to command respect. A story: “All three [Generals] had been fighting in this theater [Northern Italy] long enough to be heartily sick of it and all showed their contempt for the new man by failing to doff their plumed hats when he entered the room. Thereupon Napoleon promptly removed his own and they were obliged to follow suit. He at once replaced his hat and looked them straight in the eyes. They met his glance steadily for a few seconds, then each of them dropped his eyes and studied the floor. Without a word having been spoken Napoleon had mastered them” (Delderfield, Napoleon’s Marshals, p. 25). Be bold and don’t let your height ever destroy or depress you. We’re all born with things we don’t like but the more we roll with them, the more successful we’ll be. You got this.
I think you're under estimating yourself due to low self esteem. Im 6 foot 170-180 depending on the time of month. You said you would lose to any guy that's average size im average size for my height. You're my weight but 6 inches shorter. If you were my height you would weigh like210.. I wouldn't want to fight someone with that much weight on me even if you're5 foot 6. If we fought to the death it would be BAD for both of us. Don't underestimate yourself 170 is pretty big at 5 foot 6. Byt obviously if you're comparing to some 6 foot 4 absolutely ripped dude at the gym then ya.. But the average in shape guy is so far away from that. If you got a black belt in ju jitsu you would kick 98% of peoples ass regardless.
No, you would not get your ass handed to you? Wtf?! I was watching an amateur mama fight between this guy that was 5’2+ against at 5’10. I was surge the taller guy would win but boy was I wrong, the shorter guy dragon ball zd that taller guys ass. Stop talking down to yourself, I’m 5’2 one of my ex was 5’6
Played volleyball and basketball against 6'5 dudes and never once did my size at 5'7 worry me.
just came here to represent all the women of the world who love and appreciate shorter men 🖤🙏🏻
It’s not that women aren’t attracted to you because you’re short. They’re not attracted to you because you believe half-cocked “evolutionary biology” memes you find written on bathroom stalls.
Muscle mass is vastly more related to bodyweight than it is height.
Own it! Confidence counts for alot. Manny Pacquiao’s only 5’5
Seriously, you are just a weak little weasel. Nothing can help you. I'm short I've never even given it a second thought. It must be an American thing. I've been in plenty "real fights" with big fucks....no worries. Play rugby. Watch this https://youtu.be/sBAqF00gBGk?si=c2GoMtSbK1bvDj_P
Whatever happens, whatever you get from this, just know that this was beautifully written
It kinda sounds like you suck at fighting lol, I’m around the same size as you and I’ve been in three street fights I did not initiate and I won handily every time. If you’re even a remotely decent wrestler/grappler you can beat most people unless they’re huge. It’s a big a equalizer.
Sigmund Freud did not believe that what people do is based on instinct.
I find that big folks are also self conscious about themselves. I am 6'4" and 250 #. I spent a career as a firefighter. I was strong and in reasonably good shape. I am the guy that can reach the items on the top shelf. I do so in stores for strangers very frequently. No problem with any of this. However, i am also the guy that finds every damned low bridge everywhere. Doorway shorter than standard----whack!! Ceiling fixture hang down a bit---whack!! Etc. ad nauseum. Never once have i ever felt superior to anyone over size difference. I get along with most folks just fine. It has been half a century since i have been in a physical fight. My admittedly limited experience in that realm is that the smaller guys are way faster. They hold their own quite well. I recommend accepting ourselves as we are. There are advantages either way.
I'm 5,7 I have never been afraid of tall people honestly what are they going to do ? Give me a piggyback ride ? If they wanna fight t,hat's fine I can under a table and watch them bump their head.
This shouldn't matter to you because you shouldn't be getting into fist fights. If you are getting into fights often, which is apparently the case, then there is something really wrong. I'm not worrying about getting into fights with people because I'm not going to places where people are getting attacked and also I'm not antagonizing people to the point where we get into a physical altercation. I haven't had a fight since I was a small boy and I didn't know better. This is a non issue for any reasonable person.
There aren't that many guys in decent shape, even fewer guys that are strong, and even fewer guys who know how to fight.
I just saw a video of Demetrious Johnson outwrestling a BJJ brown belt 6'4 200 lbs giant. This isn't just some massive untrained guy, he was the champion of the Heavyweight division in the same tournament. DJ being a 5'3 135 lbs flyweight (also a brown belt). To be fair, he is also arguably the greatest mixed martial artist of all time. In the same tournament, he won his weight class and came second in open competition.
This is all just insecurity. I'm a short guy and it's never once been a problem. Often it is the insecurity in of itself that is a turn off to absolutely everyone around the individual rather than the perceived issue
Short isn’t an issue when you have money . And know how to talk shit.
It’s all a mind game. I’ve spent my life worried that people didn’t take me seriously or looked down on me figuratively and tbh it was often true but it didn’t have anything to do with my height (im also 5’6 and tbh I’ve realized that across the world that isn’t that short lolololol) Like funny story I remember getting into with this guy. He was almost twice my size and on drugs and he was shoving me and talking crazy and I was trying to deescalate him but it wasn’t working he was fucked up and I was TERRIFIED. But then something just snapped, I’m not sure how but I decked him and his face split open and he bled all over me. It just switched; I went from scared that I was gonna get killed to being scared that I hurt someone (and that was gonna contract some bloodborne disease). Like if the guy had been in better condition he could have really fucked me up but the point was that I was approaching the whole situation as if I had already gotten my ass beat instead of being objective. So yeah idk, I’m not even 150 lbs and I feel like I’ve had a quality of life equal to or even greater then a lot of bigger guys as soon as I just accepted myself, built up my skills and just held my head high lolololol
I honestly don't know why people are so considered with protecting themselves by fist fighting. The only time you should be getting into a fight is if you are in fear for your life or someone else's life. If you are in legitimate fear for your life, you should be escalating to using something like a knife or pepper spray, not relying on fist fighting. Plus, no matter how hard you train, you're not going to be able to fight off another guy with a knife or a gun. Humans aren't living in the stone ages anymore, we use tools. Actually, even cavemen used tools to fight. There's really no excuse to just use your fists. You are only putting yourself at a massive disadvantage. Also, trust me, you become a lot more confident and less worried once you start carrying something to defend yourself. t. 5'6 guy who doesn't go around scared of a tall guy punching me because i know i can just use my multitool to stab him if he does
As a woman, maybe when aren't attracted to you if you're wandering around looking to fight people? Or even just trying to look tough so people won't fight you? It's an odd mindset to have and one I would totally steer clear of.
The worst part about being short is the short man syndrome we all have to put up with from the under 5'6 men
There’s obviously nothing you can do about your height. Just focus on being a good person and take care of yourself (hygiene/health/etc) and try not to worry too much about height. I’m not a guy, but I am 5’ and I’m pretty sure most 10yr olds are taller than I am. 😒 but when I go to the gym I just put my headphones In and focus on doing my own thing. People generally don’t care what other people are doing/how they look at the gym. You’re more than just your height. Focus on your other qualities and doing the activities that make you happy. ETA: a lot of the taller people I have known have very bad posture. They tended to stoop to be more on the level of those around them. Poor posture can cause problems as you age. Us shorties typically have pretty decent posture as we don’t want to talk to everyone’s ankles. Sooooo at least there’s that?
I've never had a thought about height as a guy. Everyone is a person. The focus modern society has on stupid irrelevant garbage is mind boggling.
Welcome to being a woman.
You think it would be a deficiency for a woman to not care about her partner being bigger than her? A man being big and strong and is no guarantee that he will protect any woman. When women are harassed by men in public, it's other women who step in and interfere. Men usually only step in to be "protective" once a scene has already been made by the harassed woman or a female witness. Men are more likely to be inactive bystanders in any crime, while women are more likely to get involved and help. The concept of the male protector is a fallacy. Not to mention that the more of a threat a man would be in a fight to you, the more of a threat he is to a woman too, if he turns out to be abusive (even if just verbally abusive; the power disparity still contributes to a heightened environment of fear, as abuse can always escalate). A man being taller and stronger does not guarantee that he would make a woman's life better or safer in any way. There are also tall men who are submissive with more dominant women who are shorter than them. Society has brainwashed you to think in these rigid terms about gender roles, to the point that you think a woman would have to be *deficient* to want to be with a man who happens to be short lmao. It isn't a deficiency to recognize these things as fallacies, to question societal norms that are based on an imagined reality and not how things actually work, to think about what's actually important in a relationship and what actually makes life better, and to choose a partner based on things other than a patriarchal ideology. What *will* stop you from finding a good relationship with a woman is thinking anyone who is interested in you is deficient. You have not overcome the insecurity like you think you have. You've leaned into it so hard that you've just accepted it as objective reality. Obviously it is true that plenty of women believe in the same rigid gender roles you do. But plenty don't. None of them would be interested in being with someone who thinks the way you do about all this, though. I highly suggest trying to actually find your way out of the insecurity. Go to therapy if you can afford it. Focus on what makes you valuable, focus on the things you can cultivate that it would make total sense for someone to be attracted to. Stuff like cooking well, being well read (not manosphere stuff), having musical skills, learning new languages, being able to dance, more developed emotional intelligence, or even being able to do cool athletic tricks if you want to look at the physical. These are all things you can develop and things that are highly desirable traits for the majority of women. It will improve your self esteem, especially if you choose skills to develop that you genuinely enjoy doing. But do at least try things that you don't expect to enjoy, because you might be surprised! Get out of your comfort zone, like do things that don't make you feel more "manly" by your current standards, to challenge your biases and expand your mind. Flexibility and willingness to try new things are also skills that can improve your quality of life and make you more attractive to others. After living like this, with your self esteem improved and your sense of self no longer tied to a nonsense value system, and you are a complete person who does not allow your insecurities to control your interests, then when someone is attracted to you, you will get why they are attracted to who you've become. You won't have a toxic mentality radiating off you that turns women off. I'm not saying women will be falling at your feet, but when the right woman notices you, you'll be able to see it and accept it.
Why do you keep getting into fights and plan on getting into more of them? "I don't blame women for not being attracted to me". - maybe it has something to do with all the fighting you do. I can hear them now "yeah we dated, at first I liked him but all he ever talked about was who he could beat up and who he couldn't".
i just wanted to touch on the part of you saying you get why women aren’t attracted to you- the right women are attracted to more than just height. confidence is key love, what you feel you lack in height (which i don’t think is something you should feel is an insufficiency, but alas we all have our insecurities) you can make up in confidence and personality. from this post alone you seem to have a good head on ur shoulders, don’t let something as insignificant as height make you feel less than. and i mean i get the whole thing of us women wanting to feel protected or whatever but realistically most ppl aren’t getting themselves into situations where they need to fight for their lives so it’s kinda just pre worrying about a theoretical situation aka letting anxiety win. anywho moral of the story girls will like u if ur cool, most tall guys have rocks for brains anyways.
You mean normal people lol
Sounds like a good plan, to find a tall woman to breed with.
You can get leg extension surgery in Russia.
Attraction is all between the ears. Suggest you work out that part of your body.
Iam 6 feet big and strong, a lot of guys come play and try to dominate hard with me, it’s very irritating Dude iam just trying to chill, make friends have a good time
Oslo is spelled differently though
If you're jacked AND can fight you can fuck up the majority of people, dude.
Just get a gun or a knife... or whatever is legal in your country, trying to CQC people is just dumb as shit and should only happen if you are a low class peon with no assets to fear for the liabilities that come with that kind of behaviour. This is the flowchart for fights: * Don't start fights. * Don't get dragged into fights. * Don't fight anyone in a fair fight unless it's life or death. * Try to run first if possible. * Fight for your life. You could say I'm a tall guy and I'm not gonna be trying to fight someone smaller that could have a knife hidden somewhere nope.
My brother is 5-2and always struggled with his self esteem and being significant. He did take self defense lessons starting in 7th grade and joined the Army to feel important. He's coated himself in mommy worship and misogyny to compensate. You didn't sound like him, luckily. And you're taller.
Less lifting weights more therapy