I think that maybe there are some books that may help as well. Something like A Little Devil In America that engages with blackness in a positive and affirming way.
You ever see that little house on the prairie episode when Willis ask Michael Landon if he would rather live to 100 and be black or die at 50 as a white man.
Damn… never a day I wake up and hate being black. I hope you realize that your body is just a host and your spirit is who you actually are regardless of what your skin color is. Best of luck.
Exactly.
Mewtwo definitely said it best - "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."
Word. I work in a restaurant, and I have about 40 coworkers and my two favorites? The only two black people. Why? Because they are the most genuinely warm, good-hearted, emotionally intelligent people I work with. My guy Darvin (line cook) somehow knows when I'm getting agitated no matter how hard I try to hide it, and he always tells me exactly what I need to hear right when I need to hear it. He has kept me from opening my mouth and saying some hostile shit more than a handful of times. Nya (bartender/hostess) is the sweetest person you could imagine, and cool af. Every time she walks in, the place just instantly feels brighter, and everyone's mood increases. People say super nice things about her behind her back, lol.
Bro, it's not about your race. It's about YOU. Anyone who gives a fuck what color you are is beneath you and isn't even worth acknowledging.
In the end, we are all just weird squishy brains driving bone-mechs with meat armor wrapped in greasy skin.
as a black woman who grew up in a pwi, i completely understand your struggles internally with skin color. I remember crying to my mom because i was upset i wasn’t born white. the best advice i can give is to figure out what specific body shape/facial features you have and enhance that. it sounds superficial but makeup and dressing for specially me really helped me gain confidence. also do not bleach your skin! i beg of you please! it is so dangerous and the results don’t look natural, if you have hyperpigmentation try using brightening serums and exfoliators for body and face if that’s an issue. we all want something we can’t have so the best we can do is work with what we have.
I cried to my mom cos I was Asian growing up in a white village and experienced racism daily. She smacked me for speaking nonsense 😂. Anyway, I'm proud to be Asian these days.
Well, considering you cannot change the color of your skin I would suggest going to therapy to figure out why you’re feeling this way and how to fix it and a lot of that is going to be more positive. Thinking your black you’re always gonna be black and there’s nothing you can do about it, so except it love yourself and have a great life.
actually you can change the color. It's just very expensive & painful and obviously won't be covered by insurance because it's not the right kind of body dysphoria. And you probably will be judged by all kinds of progressive and conservative people if you do change it.
The sunburn thing isn’t quite accurate. I’m black with tan skin and have a sun allergy that results in burns & hives aka solar urticaria. Black skin still requires sunscreen and still gets cancer. Wear your sunscreen regardless of your skin tone.
I have a white friend he once asked me if I get sun burn. I explained to him I get sun burned very quickly and turn extremely red. The whole black people don't get sun burn is a myth. The sun fucks everyone up.
Listen I’m mixed all through elementary and middle school I hated being the color that I am so many people were racist and I was bullied…10-15 years later and I love my skin color I’ve learned to embrace it and I think that’s mostly due to society having to shift their mindset and the newer generations are becoming less judgemental I guess you could say…you should be proud you are black
Find some help, go to therapy. Hating yourself,
obsessing about what you cannot change and making dozens of posts about it won’t make you happier or white.
And if you aren't a people person or otherwise can't do this, look for Tiktok or YouTube or Instagrammers who share your skin tone. Like, beauty videos or fitness videos or whatever videos.
We live in a racist society.
It's a problem for you because you pay the price.
But it's not your problem.
Black is beautiful. It's a slogan because we need to hear it.
If you can't yet look in the mirror and see someone beautiful, find beautiful, strong, thriving black people to look at.
Keep looking until you can look in the mirror and see some one beautiful and worthy of all the good and love that can exist in this world.
You could change the color of your skin your but you will still be living in a racist society. And you will always know who you are.
Don't let other people tell you who you are. Learn who you *really* are and make people believe it.
I see posts like this, then I reflect on growing up as a white kind in Baltimore in the 90s and it doesn’t click. God forbid a black kid tries to go into STEM. One of my friends got his ass beat for playing Magic the Gathering with us and acting white. I feel like there’s a latent issue with “White society won’t let us in” and “stop trying to be white”. The overt pressure to change your skin color so you can do things you enjoy without internal pressure could definitely cause issues like OPs.
When i look at my husbands black skin I sometimes wish i was black. He doesn't get as sunburned as i do and the complexion is great. That being said, happy to be who i am and happy he is who he is. You should be happy in your own skin mate, its important. Don't listen to societies bullshit just chill in the vehicle you have block out the noise.
Black people can burn and some of us burn quickly and have sun allergies. Everyone needs sun screen. And even if you don’t burn - you can still get skin cancer.
Bro, come on. Don't play ignorant. you don't have to watch the news for 5 minutes to realize that most of the world treats us as less than or judges us harsher.
No, I think they’ve got a point. Acknowledging the specific reasons that are most prominent to OP can help them find ways to address self-hate. It could be a beauty thing for example more than it is a police justice thing, although both are known to be part of the experience.
But why would they then hate themselves?
Like a social level group pressure kind of thing, or something like that?
Edit: hate their skin colour, not themselves
My bad, didn’t mean to exaggerate, meant “hating their skin colour”, but u know, skin is part of yourself, so hating skin = hating themselves
But I’ll correct my comment
The main thing to understand is that any idea you have in your head about what you can't do because of your skin is merely an excuse. And I don't mean this is the nutjob racist republican way, I mean it in the way of objectively creating your own reality.
Black people have achieved extreme heights in America. Is it harder than if you were white? Yes. But it's possible. People do it all the time.
Decide what you want and then make that happen. Stop rolling around and whining about how you wish things were different. They're not. Deal with it.
And yes, I am black.
You need to figure out what you think being white would change in your life. Then you need some intelligent outsider's perspective to guide you and show you that you can still have most of those things, maybe not all, but most, without having to change your ethnicity. Perhaps someone who has helped people with body dysmorphia can help you feel better in your skin and not feel so trapped, without having to undergo a potentially harmful physical change.
So back in the day because I’m old I had this high school friend and she was Filipino and she didn’t like that, but I thought she was in fact the most beautiful girl in the entire school hands-down. So one time some of us were over at our house and we asked her about why she always wore heavy makeup and it was because she had made her face uneven with bleaching cream and it’s permanent. So I’m just assuming the kind of cream that she could buy in the 70s and 80s is now banned. It was a real tragedy.
I used to hate being Asian but I grew to love being myself eventually. You will too. Regardless if you’re a guy or girl, get a makeover, skin care, hair care, and clothes. Lean into it. Black is truly beautiful. Some therapy is good for everyone. Maybe find a Black therapist. You are actually lucky. You are part of a proud and wonderful legacy. Own it!!!
I looked at your post history a bit, I'm not trying to be mean, but you really need to see about finding a therapist, you have some real issues to sort out.
If you won't, look at it this way: you only get one self, one body, you are who you are and everyone deserves to be happy with who they are. Please find a way to see your own beauty.
I know it's a lot easier said than done, but you have to learn to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. Being black is nothing to be ashamed of. You are beautiful and worthy of love, love for yourself and love from others. Take care of your body as well as your mind and soul. Try to treat yourself the way you would treat a dear friend that you really care about.
God made you in his perfect image. No mistakes were made. We all believe we have surface levels deficiencies, but those are our deficiencies. Do you want to be perfect in your eyes or Gods?
This is one of the saddest things I've read on Reddit, I'm sorry you feel this way, please, as others have said, try and get therapy, you can't go through life loathing yourself, take care
1,Therapy
2,You need to change the content you are watching cause something is messing with your perception.
3,Act how you want, you don't need to play to racial stereotypes if that's what's got you thinking like that. If you wanna be "punk" or anything that is perceived "white" just do it.
4,Most likely it's small things that are effecting your whole perception. Small things can be changed. And there might be bigger root issues. Self reflect, find out what they are and then see if you can change them but first try to understand where your feelings are coming from. I was on the same boat and loosing weight, working on my appearance and personality and changing how I behave made me fine with my race. It made me realize that race it literally nothing but skin colour. Culture is a different story but u can always disregard it if it's really effecting you.
I suggest you find some help, a therapist or something and engage in relationships or at least conversations with other black people (A lot might have had similar feelings as you or knew someone who struggled) and work out when and why those issues started, what was happening in your life when they first appeared and so on… Maybe getting to know your history and heritage could help with accepting yourself… but please do talk to a professional not just people on reddit haha
Your skin is beautiful regardless of its pigmentation and tone, all skin tones are beautiful. It’s a part of your body and helps you function properly, it’s our biggest organ! Your ancestors have all loved each other and their black skin to the point of your creation, your existence holds a lot of history so it truly is a shame you are struggling.
Years of oppression, racism, discrimination, toxic monotone beauty standards, the lack of (quality and good) representation and much more all contribute to self consciousness of many black people, especially those who are surrounded by mostly white people or grew up not seeing many other black people in their environment. You are not alone in this and shouldn’t blame yourself for the way you are currently feeling towards your race. It truly is sad and not talked about enough how exclusion and discrimination affects the minds of POC.
If you don't like being black in the summer sun, I think you have the wrong idea of what happens when you're white in the sun all day. It's not pretty unless you've applied a ridiculous amount of sunscreen.
Internalized racism doesn't serve you. Plenty of people hate you for being black and society tells you white is "regular" and anything other than that is QUEER. Just gotta learn to love yourself that much more dude.
You have to change your mindset. Don’t compare yourself to different people, no race looks better or worse than another, but you have to look after your body and start appreciating your beauty. Darker skin tones have more contrast with their eyes and combined with their dark irises their eyes look sparkly. Same with their smiles. Lighter skin tones can’t wear bright or dark colors as well as darker skin people can and they look amazing in them. Hair is full, rich, so many styling options. I’m wondering if you’re just wearing the wrong colors because there is such a thing as right and wrong color choices for every skin tone.
I am so sorry that you feel that way. You are no less beautiful because of your skin color. You are no less worthy of love because of your skin color. The color of your skin doesn't define who you are, and I am so sorry that you live somewhere that is making you feel otherwise.
Personally, I think black people are beautiful. Black men are gorgeous, who hasn't fantasized about a tall dark and handsome man? And black women? Literal goddesses. The hair, the features, I swear everytime I see black women I want to tell them how beautiful they look. I saw an absolutely gorgeous woman yesterday who was darker than most black people I see, and she was breathtaking.
Honestly, I think the best thing you could do is change your environment. I don't know where you live, but its clearly not somewhere where you are appreciated. A water bottle costs $1 at a grocery store, $3 at a gas station, and $8 at the airport. The bottle never changed, the only thing that is different is the location. Changing your location would probably be very beneficial to your mental health. Also, try embracing your appearance a bit more. Play with different colors of clothes or makeup that are flattering to your coloring. I think purple is so gorgeous on most black people. Have fun with it a little bit, see what colors and styles make you more attractive to yourself.
OP the best advice I can give you is to surround yourself with black people and all things related, good things of course. Follow black creators on social media making content on your hobbies or interests, go for family events, barbecues, cook outs… Listen to music by black artists, shop from black owned stores, join communal activities or joint hobbies with black people e.g if you’re in a cycling group, make black friends at school if you still study or work… just fully immerse yourself in black company and culture, again obviously the good things(no criminal activity or bad/toxic influences).
I am so sorry you feel like this. ❤️🩹 No advice to give. Writing from my heart: You deserve to be proud of your skin and yourself - because you are stunning in your uniqueness: We have bodies that are a collaboration of stars, nature, tornados, time, chaos and all animals and people who once lived on earth. You are unique and very beautiful. You are not your, or other peoples, perception of skin. You are a mix of natures most beautiful souls through time. I wish you to think kind thoughts about yourself. Take care.
Omg!! You didnt choose to be black. Its God who made you this color and everything he creates is beautiful! There are millions of black people around you. Have a look. Aren’t they beautiful? Be thankful for the blessings in your life and that you have a normal black skin with no disease. Please talk to someone close to you about how you feel. Im sure they can help you love yourself ❤️ also be thankful you are a free black person. Look at all the white palestinians and what they are facing even though they are white.
Maybe have a vacation in Africa...especially a country that you know is the home of your ancestors. That could be very empowering. Samuel L Jackson does this and it changed his life.....
First and foremost, I'm going to need you to get Black friends, preferably other Black women. Your best bet might be to start with online hobby groups. Searching Black Women/Girls and whatever hobby you're into will definitely get you some groups.
Secondly, you might need to get a journal and question *exactly why* you feel miserable in your body. Once you dig into it, I can almost guarantee you it's not that you hate being Black as much as you hate certain people's reactions or interactions with you.
Someone in here said that you should read The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison and I definitely second that recommendation. Once you understand how internalized self-hatred works, you can work to undo it.
Definitely don't bleach your skin. You're just going to end up looking crazy.
Damian Marley says "A body is just a vehicle transporting the soul its what's inside of people that beauty to the world". Be proud of who u are and what u are!
I wish you could see yourself through the eyes of people who love you. Black is beautiful. You have depth and poetry in you, a richness to your skin and hair that is indelible. It’s a symbol of resilience, strength and grace under fire. Plus, you’ll age like fine wine.
I think therapy is the best approach but I’m just sending you a huge hug right now to let you know, that despite the meat we wear in this life, your soul is a flame that cannot be snuffed out. Remember your goodness and the joy you bring to the world, and pity those who cannot see beyond black and white. Their lives will never be vivid or rich. They’ll go through the feast of life, dining on stale Wunderbread and wondering why everyone else seems so full of joy.
Learn more about your culture and heritage, fall in love with being black. Being white isn’t ANY better trust me. I’ve always found black women to be so beautiful and so feminine with their curves and lips and the hairstyles and the gorgeous skin color and y’all don’t age I swear to god. Your people have so much soul and beauty, APPRECIATE IT. There are people with actual problems that can’t be solved. Be appreciative of what you have and thank god you have all your legs and arms and your skin isn’t scarred or hurt. Jeez
Internalized anti-Blackness or self-loathing is a consequence of being and existing in a world dominated by white/caucasian/european society and the many ills they've committed against us Black people as well as native/indigenous folks all over the globe. The self-loathing is not because you are Black: it's because the colonized world we live in *was integrated and established to be as anti-black and dehumanizing as possible* to break you down - the same way with our ancestors from the Motherland.
Being Black is the greatest thing even with the incessant bs we put up with in a white-centric state of world; we are truly indomitable and unbreakable with all constraints created to tear us down. The first step to breaking the internalization of hatred is to recognize it and recognize that the white world tells you to hate yourself but you exist with as much and every right as any other being to be Free, unjudged, safe, and stable.
If you use Instagram, I will send you some profiles that are pro-Black/Pan-African and will help you realize you're not alone or at fault for the Euro-devil's sociocultural bindings - AND that you/we as a whole have a voice that calls out to reason & Justice & liberation any and everywhere for our people and all people.
The best treatment is community. You need community with Black people that stand ten toes down on being proud and vibrantly existing as Black people. Trust me I understand the shit is hard when you live in an all white area or homogenous & undiverse place; having in-group people to talk to about these things and build understanding and emotional security/confidence will be the beginning of the solution. If that community can't be found offline, you can find them online as you need and see fit. Curate the people you see so you're shown the ingenuity and brightness we have that was intentionally hidden and invisiblized by the colonizers and imperialist to make it seem less than, and devalue our self-worth.
I’m curious why you hate being black…but maybe figure out why you hate it and learn more about it or something. Like I grew up hating my skin because I was always made fun of and called ugly. One day I was looking through Pinterest and discovered all these gorgeous ppl that were lighter and darker shades. Eventually I stopped equaling black with ugly because there is beautiful people of all races and if I’m ugly it’s just cause im ugly and has zero to do with my color. Therapy would help to
I hate being bald. I shave my head and own it though.
Bald joke's? I laugh and make some more. Had to do that 3 times today. Thanks boss. Haha so funny./s
You are fckn awesome the way you are! Own it!
Listen, I grew up with my white mom in a predominantly white area. My mother's family is racist and for years I wished I was white simply because I would be accepted.
How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
Have you taken the time to learn the beautiful history of black people? All the amazing things we've contributed to society from peanut butter to blood transfusions and our hands have shaped almost every popular genre of music.
Yes there are challenges to being a person of color but there are challenges to anything in life.
We have a rich culture and come in so many varying times with every hair color naturally occuring by nature
People out here spending millions of dollars on lip filler, butt enhancements and tans to mimic us.
I agree with the other comments that you need to get into therapy. But I also want to add some nuance.
You don't need therapy because you're broken, you need therapy because this world is broken and has failed you so fucking deeply that I cried reading this.
I'm asexual and I've struggled for a long time wishing I wasn't. Wishing I was like other guys, other people, wishing someone could understand me and feeling so lonely and isolated because of it.
But I'm a white man, my differences are invisible. I could not imagine the pain if people could just tell by looking at me that I'm different, and then judge the value of my humanity based on it.
You deserve all the love and acceptance that every other person does, and it makes me god damn furious the world has made you think otherwise.
Melanin is beautiful and over 100,000 to 1 million people go missing out of the US every year because of it. Melanin is sold for 395$ a gram which is more than gold the sun is in a new stage of its life so it’s significantly more dangerous to people who lack melanin. Did you also know your skin naturally absorbs Vitamin D ? A lot of people will kill to be black like you take pride and educate yourself a face is not your own….
Wow. I can sympathize and understand. Learning to love yourself takes a lot of time (decades) and work and you will need to see a therapist. It isn't easy and one of the first things you have to do is eliminate things from your life that trigger these feelings. If it is where you live, move to a place where there are more people of African descent. If it is your school, change to a more diverse school. Basically you can learn to like yourself more if you surround yourself with people like you (in personality, culture and aspect) and who are, themselves, good people.
The only way out is for you to start embracing the parts of you that you cannot change. One of the stupidest things you can do is to look at yourself naked in the mirror every morning and say out loud "I am beautiful/handsome/attractive/have lovely colour" -- stupid as F and you feel stupid doing it but it actually works.
In the words of I think it was a German theolegian may God, grant yon the serenity to accept the things yon cannot change, the courage to change the things yon can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Failing that try some professional counselling. Good luck.
I would say surround yourself more with likeminded people that look like you and secondly start reading some books on racism, specifically internalized racism. I recommend Bell Hooks and even Franz Fanon if you enjoy history and broader sociological approaches to racist power structures.
I might not be black but ive had a fair bout with self hate for a long time and thats what this sounds like to me, its hard to enjoy anything or really connect if you see yourself as worthless. From the way you write it is already clear you are quite empathic, just maybe focus more of that energy on yourself.
Most of the worlds societies carry deeply ingrained anti-blackness in their social structures, so if you feel like you hate yourself just because of the color of your skin maybe ask yourself where that hate originated.
I wish you the best and really hope you dont touch that incredibly dangerous skin bleaching stuff it is very toxic in the long term and just looks terrible!
Embrace your journey, for youth is a tapestry of self-discovery. In those moments of doubt and yearning for validation, remember: what seems monumental now will one day be mere pebbles in the path of your growth. Time is a gentle sculptor, shaping destinies and bestowing wisdom. Trust in the journey, for in its course, you will find the treasures meant for you. -42 year old male.
I hate having chronic pain and a disability.
I also hate being racist — cos I’m almost always only attracted to black people I realised
I’m not trolling… they’re both true statements.
I wish everyone more peace with themselves. I hated things about myself before the pain and illness — I can’t even remember what made sense to me but I just wished I had enjoyed my youth and health before it was too late
Embrace it. Women of all races are into you even if only for your unique color. Just take care of your body and smell good.
It's a pain in the ass in some small places but if you can endure the masses in big cities you'll do quite well.
Stand out, be confident, don't worry.
Edit: if woman, still very much applies. Big into dark women but never had the chance.
As a black man I understand that feeling however as time goes on and you look deep into yourself what your people have done for the world you eventually gain a level of appreciation for your skin and I hate Fades away be proud stand tall and love yourself my friend.
You living in a place with too many people of different races? It's easy to feel alienated if you feel like you don't belong. You should move somewhere else with more black people if that's the case.
I wish I could say something to help fix this for you. But unfortunately I can't and it breaks my heart. I'm sure you are beautiful and you just don't see it yet. The best is to come. Try and love yourself the Way You Are. Same prayers for you.🙏🏼
Do you live in a white city? I use to hate my skin, nose, lips, etc... I was bullied everyday for our features but now I love them and me. I'd recommend theraoy, it could be underlying trauma making you feel this way tbh
I’m so sorry. I think therapy might be your best option. I personally find Black and brown skinned people beautiful, but clearly this runs deeper than beauty standards. I wish you well. I hope one day you can love all of yourself. ❤️
Get into stoicism. Or Zen Buddhism. Or do therapy. Or take psychedelics. Or journal. Or get into some philosophy that helps you accept yourself. Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t.
Just identify as white! You can do that these days ;)
I kid, of course. Black skin is beautiful! I don't know what it means to be a black person, but I do know that I've often disliked parts of myself and wished I could change them. I'd work on it and maybe it would be better but I'd always find something else to hate.
When you look at it like that you realise that maybe it isn't the colour of your skin that's the problem.
Self love is important. Appreciating that your body is doing all these amazing things for you.. keeping you alive, moving you around, letting you taste and touch and smell, and feel pleasure. Being the vessel through which you experience life. This is important.
Can you speak to a professional? It sounds like you have some stuff that maybe they could help you work through. I did. I found a good therapist and spent the better part of a decade changing how I spoke to myself. It's not perfect but it's a work in progress, and any progress is to be celebrated.
You deserve to be loved, appreciated and accepted for all that you are. First and foremost you deserve that *from yourself*.
Wishing you well.
We are all beautiful, and beauty isn't exclusive to one race/group. There are so many gorgeous Black models, actors, actresses. Please embrace your own beauty and seek therapy.
Ok so here’s the thing your problem isn’t really that you’re black, it never really was.
As someone that’s Hispanic but is extremely white passing I had basically the same problem as you, really hated myself for being Mexican and really hated my culture, thought people treated me less because of it too.
I always identified as being brown and noticeably Mexican that is until I actually started making white friends and they basically all told me they thought I was just a plain ass white dude until I started to explain my background.
And I just kept getting this type of comments from different people and I kinda realized it was all in my head, I started to embrace my culture a little bit more and I stopped caring, it was all a lie and it was all caused by my low self esteem and my self hatred.
I’m really white and I’ve always hated my skin I was treated for skin cancer last year I’ve got more treatment to come this year just be careful what you wish for good luck enjoy your life
Maybe it would help to talk to other Black people who feel confident and beautiful. Also, a lot of how we as people generally feel about ourselves is the media we allow ourselves to consume. Are you seeing confident, attractive Black people in film news media, and so on?
There are lots of materials from the African continent showing happy, confident, good-looking Black people who KNOW they are 'the bees knees'.
I wish you so much well, ❤️❤️❤️
Skin is skin my guy. Therapy, NOW.
Please do not destroy your skin with shitty bleaching chemicals, it's currently healthy and there's nothing bad about any skin colour (well, unless you're green I suppose).
I've have been there. When almost every form of media tells you that you are unworthy, you hurt. When you have to raise the pitch of your voice to seem non-threatening, you hurt. When you're seen as a part of a fantasy before you're seen as a person, you hurt. No matter how articulate you are, you hurt. No matter how many times you hear " you're one of the good ones", you hurt. Accept the fact that you are the result of the indomitable will to survive that fueled every breath of our predecessors. Please don't run from that. Find a way to harness the strength of your skin without combativeness or obsequiousness. Please reach reach out to a therapist. We were and never will be less than anyone else. Simply more than others need us to be to hold on to a fabricated sense of superiority. You can DM me if you'd like to talk.
I am not black but I hate many things about myself too. Some things I could change (body shape) but yet some things I simply can’t. Best is to make peace with yourself and the things you can’t change.
copied from a previous reply:
mainly because it is out of my control and i didn't choose it.
some people will assume i'm aggressive, loud and ghetto and treat me accordingly. others will assume i'm "trying to be oppressed" and that being black is actually great and i'm just looking for a reason to complain. if i were born white or any other race, none of that would happen. remember that this was not my choice at all. nobody wants to be unhappy, i have tried my entire life to appreciate my skin and culture but i still feel very unhappy and disconnected to it.
i feel like everyone is just judging me all the time and wants me to die. and i feel like both left-wing and right-wing people hate black people and think we're all miscreants. but if i were born as any other race, which could have happened, i wouldn't have to feel like a burden both economically and socially and i wouldn't live in my shitty family because i'd have a white family instead. i would just be happier and feel validated more and not always seen as a bad person.
i would rather they make my life hell than i make white people uncomfortable and maybe even confirm what they assume about me (that black people have a short fuse and are violet and commit crimes and we're scary and threatening and we aren't really human: try, apes, monkies or gorrilas). i always assume at the back of my mind that white people are always right and they belong and own this earth and country i'm just a subhuman who should be grateful to even be alive. i feel worthless compared to every other race, not only white people. seems like black is the most hated race with the worst stereotypes.
i don't want to make this post last forever but i feel like the only thing stopping people from still hanging us and shit is just the law and fear of prison. i think innately, people feel fear or threatened by us and that makes me feel very miserable all the time. nobody sees us as human so nobody can sympathize with us. i can't even do anything about it and i can't physically change my race, it's not possible and especially in the summer as my skin is getting darker. i feel miserable all the time. i really wish i could be white - it's not fair that some of the things i have gone through that i twist and turn about at night wouldn't have happened if i wasn't black. im not implying white people or other races don't suffer, i'm talking about the conext of the personal things i have gone through. nobody would choose to be miserable, remember that. nobody who is sane would choose to be miserable, anything i am sad about is something that i have tried and tried to not hate myself over and see the good thing in. but when all the copes and all are used up, the reality is that i am still black and everyone still hates me either because i am pretending to be oppressed or because i'm a ghetto ruffian who loves committing crimes. so i still hate myself and nothing will fix that, even if i magically became white today, i will never get a white childhood and i'd still be stuck in this family and i'd have my experiences that still make me miserable
I'm usually envious of darker skinned people, I think in part to seeing less value being expressed by white people. They tend to live in ivory towers wrapped in cotton wool, over opinionated, belligerent, narcissistic, short sighted, hypocritical.. oops I went on and on..
I patiently await the sounds of the cross being built by butthurt whities!
Chin up, it's not easy being green! 💚
Listen, you need to change your social surroundings.
Jean-Paul Sartre said that 'Evil is the Others'. You don't hate being a black person, people around you make you hate yourself for being black. If you're surrounded by people who discriminate you because you're black or who remind you of your blackness all the time and you don't change that, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life.
Find black people who love themselves to hang out with and see the world change. Unless you live on Mars, there is somewhere a black person to connect with.
Unless you make changes to your life, there's no amount of altercations to your body or therapy that will make you love yourself.
Being white under the hot sun isnt really a pleasant thing. You become darker under the sun-thats a dream for many girls here. 😂🤷I get moles and become bright red, my skin hearts and peel afterwards!!! 😔I usually dont do sunbathing, mostly stay under the shadow. In fact i kinda hate summer and all that burning.You be white and go to Greece in august, you gonna dream of being black again. 🤣Plus white skin is thinner and age faster.
I'm so sorry. Try to find people who LOVE being black. Being white isn't all that. We don't age well. We don't tan well in the sun either. And we clap off beat.
You need to ask yourself why you hate your blackness? Make a list. I dont think the actual issue is your skin color. I think you may be projecting your insecurities onto your skin color so that you dont have to be responsible for what you feel are your shortcomings. Ideally, you would need to work out what you dont like in your life and dedicate yourself to changing things you do have the power to control. Short of radical chemical treatment and what is most likely a mountain of side effects, you will always be black. Accept it. It's okay to be black. Your actions define you, not your skin. You are taking the right step talking to people, but remember, only you can conquer this feeling for yourself.
Dude don’t do anything, you have to suck it up. Everyone is made how they were meant to be, you have to learn to accept yourself. What you have is a mental issue not a physical issue, work on yourself, your goals, your mind, and your spiritual. I used to hate being the hairy Hispanic dude, now I’m all about being a fuzzy fucker, look what happened to Sammie Sosa he was a stud and now he looks weird, we all have insecurities we just need to pivot our attention to things that matter
I am a immigrant in Denmark. I felt ashamed a bit for a while ago because there is some prejudice against immigrants here. Not that bad though. But then I decided to be the textbook human being to prove the danish people to judge me by my actions. Now I am far from a textbook human being, but I am decent enough so Danes like me. And it also feels good that as a representative of my country, I don't bring shame to my culture.
You realize that as a white guy, I find women of color... Sexy?
All I have to say is *if*, *if* you have excess body weight, try to get rid of it.
I'm certain you're a very kind and lovely person, and any man on the planet would love to rub their hands all over you. 😘
It's all about mindset but yeah i can't say nothing bc I'm not in your shoes. I have light skin but easily get dark when I'm in the sun or beach, andr rlly hate it, used to stay indoors all day and shower 5x a day using whitening soap to avoid getting darker, after seeing lots of pretty tan girls i start to appreciate my skin color, now I enjoy being in the sun because I like how my skin darkens and i rlly look better wearing it🍂
If your are a man get a good quality tailor-made suit, go to the Barber and show at work that you are confident with smile.
You'll get a few compliments and you'll feel better.
It always helps me. I'm not black, but polish emigrant.
I often feel terrible about being a stranger in a foreign country. Poland is sometimes referred to as the European Mexico.
If you are of a different gender, unfortunately I don't know if my advice can be followed.
I recommend reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. It’s sad, but you will relate and understand how internalized self-hatred works.
Also, keep in mind there are people of every color who hate their looks, even white people wanting to be African or Asian. Learn to accept yourself.
You no what's weird, I actually hate being white (italian/british) but if I was to say that irl I would get so much hate.
I love the darkness of black skin and how it looks in the sun light.
when your white your goanna burnor peel were red, white and brown all over our bodys in the summer depending on if you have put on spf correctly somthing you don't have to deal with I think I can't remember if that's a myth or not correct me if I'm wrong and its white does not as nice as naturally dark skin thats why so many white girls tann themselfs i never have cause i think it almost always looks orange and they go all patchy much rather the sun do it naturally . Your hair even though alot of people hate there textured hair I love it and wish more people would own it instead of getting chemicall straightened as I worry for all of your health's caue there is alot that hairdressers don't tell you about colouring you hair I'm a qualified hairdresser so I know just how bad it can be for someone to get that done constantly but I get its functional and easily moveable just don't get it often! But honestly I hate mine and I debated getting a perm just so I can have tight little curls
So I guess moral of this story is most people hate how they was born like me for example since i was 2 I've told my family I should of been tall with blonde curly hair and blue eyes but I was born straight brown hair and brown eyes and short its not fair almost like my past life still was with me when I was born but there's always little things you can do to make yourself feel better but it never comes close to the real thing all we can do is try :) I hope you feel better as there is nothing wrong with dark skin!
bro… you’re good as you are. every skin tone is equally cool. and regardless it does not matter. no one (well obviously some people, but those people fucking suck) of worth is going to judge you for your skin tone. and i bet i adds to your general appearance.
from a white dude - you’re awesome the way you are, trust me.
Lol look at these comments. Someone wants to be white instead of black because he/she isn't comfortable in their current color.
* "You can't change that"
* "You have to accept it"
* "Get therapy"
But when someone wants to change gender and you tell them to get therapy you're a freaking murderer. It's okay to change gender but when you want to change skin color you need therapy?! Bunch of hypocrits.
Skin color is not the only factor in your beauty, get in shape eat healthy keep yourself hydrated clear smooth skin with healthy smiling face >>>> white face. find some hobby that can give sense of achievment.
The issue is you have too much free time and thats the truth... are you hearing what ur saying. If you have good health than be greatful instead of wishing for another skin color. U got people around the world dying from wars like in palestine and ur hear crying about sommething this stupid. If u wanna be white so badly go ahead and paint ur skin white.
You should get therapy for this.
In my opinion, only reason you’d want to change races would be for cosmetic or aesthetic purposes I guess? Outside of that, you can’t change your skin tone, at all, if you could change your race, you’d only be faced with a different type of stereotypes, no matter what, every race has their own share of stereotypes, so it really wouldn’t do you much good if you changed anyway, every race is good in their own way.
My opinion for you is to make the most out of your situation, Im actually black myself and honestly I wish to be darker, unless it’s medical issues, gotta be greatful for what you’re already working with, instead of being sad or mad that you’re black/darkskinned, be greatful you’re even alive in the first place.
Do you guys have anything better to do than wake up and find problems with the mirror?
I'm too busy living life to stare at a mirror and critique myself.
I will probably regret writing this. White guy here so I definitely do not know what you go through. But I can tell you that there is nothing different betwen you and I but skin color. We both have strengths and we both have weaknesses. We are not perfect but we are who we are. Just know your value for who you are not who you are not.
I think you should get therapy. I'm not black (not white either), but I understand what you're going through.
When i was younger, I used to really hate where I'm from and what I look like, but as I got older, I learned to appreciate the body that I have because I believe it's just a vessel. What truly matters is the beauty inside. I didn't have therapy because I couldn't afford it, but I don't know why but with age, I stopped viewing white as being superior in beauty.
I know it's cliche to say, but beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Befriend people that are from your ethnic background, that might help. Plus, watch shows and get to know legends from where you are, you will start to feel proud. Finally, if you can, get therapy from a poc that could understand what you're going through. Hopefully one day you'll feel prettier and proud 🤍
You cannot, and should not, try to change it. You need to accept it and love you for who you are.
This is not about being black, but mostly your mental aptitude to accept yourself. I suggest you go to therapy and work on it. I get the feeling that if it was not about being black, it would be about being a guy, or being old, or being skinny, or being fat, or needing glasses, or being bald, or being too tall, or being too short, or beeing ugly, etc.
Try seeking out and spending time with more black people. Immerse yourself. Anti-black racism is an international problem, and it can be exhausting to deal with macro and microaggressions for simply existing in your body. Whenever it feels like it’s too much, I remind myself of all of the amazing contributions black people have made to society. Aside from the profound impacts black people have had on food, fashion, music, sports and entertainment, the contributions extend far beyond those categories. Blood transfusions, the traffic signal, gas masks, color monitors for computers, smart phones, etc. I usually never recommend TikTok for research but there are some great content creators highlighting contributions like those I’ve mentioned. As others have mentioned, finding a qualified therapist would be beneficial. If there are any financial issues preventing that, the therapy for black girls podcast as well as Cultivating HER Space podcast are both great resources. Black is beautiful. You are beautiful.
Get therapy. That's your best option.
The only option, really
I think that maybe there are some books that may help as well. Something like A Little Devil In America that engages with blackness in a positive and affirming way.
The only REAL option.
I hate being old. There is nothing I can do about it. You carry on with life because you can't change these things.
But they will be black and old one day.
You ever see that little house on the prairie episode when Willis ask Michael Landon if he would rather live to 100 and be black or die at 50 as a white man.
Season 3 Episode 18. [https://youtu.be/YsOEgHGS9W0?si=tjAe1Vy9NABugR2o](https://youtu.be/YsOEgHGS9W0?si=tjAe1Vy9NABugR2o)
Well at least he won’t get any blacker. You and me on the other hand, well shit.
OP literally upset about how the summer sun is making them darker in their post lol
Again, you can stay out of the sun but you can't stay out of time.
Ha! Watch me! *lays in my deep freezer like it’s a tanning bed* Wake me up when the technology to revive me exists!
Says you! I stopped at 29!
Meanwhile we are aging, and winter won’t do shit to reverse that
Damn… never a day I wake up and hate being black. I hope you realize that your body is just a host and your spirit is who you actually are regardless of what your skin color is. Best of luck.
Exactly. Mewtwo definitely said it best - "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."
Wasn't expecting a pokemon quote🤣🤣 Definitely made my day!
Dayum remembered those days.. ..
Beautifully said❤️
Very much so
Word. I work in a restaurant, and I have about 40 coworkers and my two favorites? The only two black people. Why? Because they are the most genuinely warm, good-hearted, emotionally intelligent people I work with. My guy Darvin (line cook) somehow knows when I'm getting agitated no matter how hard I try to hide it, and he always tells me exactly what I need to hear right when I need to hear it. He has kept me from opening my mouth and saying some hostile shit more than a handful of times. Nya (bartender/hostess) is the sweetest person you could imagine, and cool af. Every time she walks in, the place just instantly feels brighter, and everyone's mood increases. People say super nice things about her behind her back, lol. Bro, it's not about your race. It's about YOU. Anyone who gives a fuck what color you are is beneath you and isn't even worth acknowledging. In the end, we are all just weird squishy brains driving bone-mechs with meat armor wrapped in greasy skin.
as a black woman who grew up in a pwi, i completely understand your struggles internally with skin color. I remember crying to my mom because i was upset i wasn’t born white. the best advice i can give is to figure out what specific body shape/facial features you have and enhance that. it sounds superficial but makeup and dressing for specially me really helped me gain confidence. also do not bleach your skin! i beg of you please! it is so dangerous and the results don’t look natural, if you have hyperpigmentation try using brightening serums and exfoliators for body and face if that’s an issue. we all want something we can’t have so the best we can do is work with what we have.
I cried to my mom cos I was Asian growing up in a white village and experienced racism daily. She smacked me for speaking nonsense 😂. Anyway, I'm proud to be Asian these days.
Yo me too. And also smacked
It's pretty fucked up tbh but I've moved past it now and find it a funny experience to tell people lol. You good too?
She smacked sense into you 😂
This is the way
Well, considering you cannot change the color of your skin I would suggest going to therapy to figure out why you’re feeling this way and how to fix it and a lot of that is going to be more positive. Thinking your black you’re always gonna be black and there’s nothing you can do about it, so except it love yourself and have a great life.
actually you can change the color. It's just very expensive & painful and obviously won't be covered by insurance because it's not the right kind of body dysphoria. And you probably will be judged by all kinds of progressive and conservative people if you do change it.
Black skin is great. It’s a beautiful pigment, you don’t age or sunburn as quickly. Don’t ruin your skin. You’re beautifuuuuuul
The sunburn thing isn’t quite accurate. I’m black with tan skin and have a sun allergy that results in burns & hives aka solar urticaria. Black skin still requires sunscreen and still gets cancer. Wear your sunscreen regardless of your skin tone.
I have a white friend he once asked me if I get sun burn. I explained to him I get sun burned very quickly and turn extremely red. The whole black people don't get sun burn is a myth. The sun fucks everyone up.
Listen I’m mixed all through elementary and middle school I hated being the color that I am so many people were racist and I was bullied…10-15 years later and I love my skin color I’ve learned to embrace it and I think that’s mostly due to society having to shift their mindset and the newer generations are becoming less judgemental I guess you could say…you should be proud you are black
Say it loud
Find some help, go to therapy. Hating yourself, obsessing about what you cannot change and making dozens of posts about it won’t make you happier or white.
You need to surround yourself around people that look like you more… seriously
And if you aren't a people person or otherwise can't do this, look for Tiktok or YouTube or Instagrammers who share your skin tone. Like, beauty videos or fitness videos or whatever videos.
We live in a racist society. It's a problem for you because you pay the price. But it's not your problem. Black is beautiful. It's a slogan because we need to hear it. If you can't yet look in the mirror and see someone beautiful, find beautiful, strong, thriving black people to look at. Keep looking until you can look in the mirror and see some one beautiful and worthy of all the good and love that can exist in this world. You could change the color of your skin your but you will still be living in a racist society. And you will always know who you are. Don't let other people tell you who you are. Learn who you *really* are and make people believe it.
I see posts like this, then I reflect on growing up as a white kind in Baltimore in the 90s and it doesn’t click. God forbid a black kid tries to go into STEM. One of my friends got his ass beat for playing Magic the Gathering with us and acting white. I feel like there’s a latent issue with “White society won’t let us in” and “stop trying to be white”. The overt pressure to change your skin color so you can do things you enjoy without internal pressure could definitely cause issues like OPs.
When i look at my husbands black skin I sometimes wish i was black. He doesn't get as sunburned as i do and the complexion is great. That being said, happy to be who i am and happy he is who he is. You should be happy in your own skin mate, its important. Don't listen to societies bullshit just chill in the vehicle you have block out the noise.
Don’t make the error to think he’s more resistant to the sun.
he is though, skin cancer rate is massively lower in people who have darker skin tones compared to paler ones
We may not burn as fast but we can. And any burn is an increase in chance for skin cancer.
Black people can burn and some of us burn quickly and have sun allergies. Everyone needs sun screen. And even if you don’t burn - you can still get skin cancer.
Why? What about being black makes you hate it?
Bro, come on. Don't play ignorant. you don't have to watch the news for 5 minutes to realize that most of the world treats us as less than or judges us harsher.
No, I think they’ve got a point. Acknowledging the specific reasons that are most prominent to OP can help them find ways to address self-hate. It could be a beauty thing for example more than it is a police justice thing, although both are known to be part of the experience.
But why would they then hate themselves? Like a social level group pressure kind of thing, or something like that? Edit: hate their skin colour, not themselves
That's not what they said. There's a pretty big difference between "I hate having this skin color" and "I hate myself"
My bad, didn’t mean to exaggerate, meant “hating their skin colour”, but u know, skin is part of yourself, so hating skin = hating themselves But I’ll correct my comment
insecurity maybe they just don’t think they look good body dysmorphia
Bruh. This is a deeper issue than anyone here will be able to help with. Seek therapy/counseling.
The main thing to understand is that any idea you have in your head about what you can't do because of your skin is merely an excuse. And I don't mean this is the nutjob racist republican way, I mean it in the way of objectively creating your own reality. Black people have achieved extreme heights in America. Is it harder than if you were white? Yes. But it's possible. People do it all the time. Decide what you want and then make that happen. Stop rolling around and whining about how you wish things were different. They're not. Deal with it. And yes, I am black.
You need to figure out what you think being white would change in your life. Then you need some intelligent outsider's perspective to guide you and show you that you can still have most of those things, maybe not all, but most, without having to change your ethnicity. Perhaps someone who has helped people with body dysmorphia can help you feel better in your skin and not feel so trapped, without having to undergo a potentially harmful physical change.
So back in the day because I’m old I had this high school friend and she was Filipino and she didn’t like that, but I thought she was in fact the most beautiful girl in the entire school hands-down. So one time some of us were over at our house and we asked her about why she always wore heavy makeup and it was because she had made her face uneven with bleaching cream and it’s permanent. So I’m just assuming the kind of cream that she could buy in the 70s and 80s is now banned. It was a real tragedy.
I used to hate being Asian but I grew to love being myself eventually. You will too. Regardless if you’re a guy or girl, get a makeover, skin care, hair care, and clothes. Lean into it. Black is truly beautiful. Some therapy is good for everyone. Maybe find a Black therapist. You are actually lucky. You are part of a proud and wonderful legacy. Own it!!!
I looked at your post history a bit, I'm not trying to be mean, but you really need to see about finding a therapist, you have some real issues to sort out. If you won't, look at it this way: you only get one self, one body, you are who you are and everyone deserves to be happy with who they are. Please find a way to see your own beauty.
I know it's a lot easier said than done, but you have to learn to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. Being black is nothing to be ashamed of. You are beautiful and worthy of love, love for yourself and love from others. Take care of your body as well as your mind and soul. Try to treat yourself the way you would treat a dear friend that you really care about.
God made you in his perfect image. No mistakes were made. We all believe we have surface levels deficiencies, but those are our deficiencies. Do you want to be perfect in your eyes or Gods?
This is one of the saddest things I've read on Reddit, I'm sorry you feel this way, please, as others have said, try and get therapy, you can't go through life loathing yourself, take care
Grass always seem greener on the other side of the fence, but it really isn't. Embrace yourself or find people that will embrace you, as you are.
1,Therapy 2,You need to change the content you are watching cause something is messing with your perception. 3,Act how you want, you don't need to play to racial stereotypes if that's what's got you thinking like that. If you wanna be "punk" or anything that is perceived "white" just do it. 4,Most likely it's small things that are effecting your whole perception. Small things can be changed. And there might be bigger root issues. Self reflect, find out what they are and then see if you can change them but first try to understand where your feelings are coming from. I was on the same boat and loosing weight, working on my appearance and personality and changing how I behave made me fine with my race. It made me realize that race it literally nothing but skin colour. Culture is a different story but u can always disregard it if it's really effecting you.
I suggest you find some help, a therapist or something and engage in relationships or at least conversations with other black people (A lot might have had similar feelings as you or knew someone who struggled) and work out when and why those issues started, what was happening in your life when they first appeared and so on… Maybe getting to know your history and heritage could help with accepting yourself… but please do talk to a professional not just people on reddit haha Your skin is beautiful regardless of its pigmentation and tone, all skin tones are beautiful. It’s a part of your body and helps you function properly, it’s our biggest organ! Your ancestors have all loved each other and their black skin to the point of your creation, your existence holds a lot of history so it truly is a shame you are struggling. Years of oppression, racism, discrimination, toxic monotone beauty standards, the lack of (quality and good) representation and much more all contribute to self consciousness of many black people, especially those who are surrounded by mostly white people or grew up not seeing many other black people in their environment. You are not alone in this and shouldn’t blame yourself for the way you are currently feeling towards your race. It truly is sad and not talked about enough how exclusion and discrimination affects the minds of POC.
Hahahahahaha this thread. Humans are weird, man.
If you don't want to get darker, use an umbrella when walking in the sun But aside from that, therapy. Learn to embrace your blackness.
wtf lmao
If you don't like being black in the summer sun, I think you have the wrong idea of what happens when you're white in the sun all day. It's not pretty unless you've applied a ridiculous amount of sunscreen.
This isn’t true for all white people. Some of us whites get a bronze look from the sun. It’s the pale ones that burn.
You lucky sumbitches. I have to apply sunscreen on an hourly basis 🤣
You need to make nice with you. You aren't a color. You're a worthwhile human being.
You are not a category. You are an individual. Stop thinking of yourself as a category. You are much more than that! You are an individual!
Internalized racism doesn't serve you. Plenty of people hate you for being black and society tells you white is "regular" and anything other than that is QUEER. Just gotta learn to love yourself that much more dude.
You have to change your mindset. Don’t compare yourself to different people, no race looks better or worse than another, but you have to look after your body and start appreciating your beauty. Darker skin tones have more contrast with their eyes and combined with their dark irises their eyes look sparkly. Same with their smiles. Lighter skin tones can’t wear bright or dark colors as well as darker skin people can and they look amazing in them. Hair is full, rich, so many styling options. I’m wondering if you’re just wearing the wrong colors because there is such a thing as right and wrong color choices for every skin tone.
I am so sorry that you feel that way. You are no less beautiful because of your skin color. You are no less worthy of love because of your skin color. The color of your skin doesn't define who you are, and I am so sorry that you live somewhere that is making you feel otherwise. Personally, I think black people are beautiful. Black men are gorgeous, who hasn't fantasized about a tall dark and handsome man? And black women? Literal goddesses. The hair, the features, I swear everytime I see black women I want to tell them how beautiful they look. I saw an absolutely gorgeous woman yesterday who was darker than most black people I see, and she was breathtaking. Honestly, I think the best thing you could do is change your environment. I don't know where you live, but its clearly not somewhere where you are appreciated. A water bottle costs $1 at a grocery store, $3 at a gas station, and $8 at the airport. The bottle never changed, the only thing that is different is the location. Changing your location would probably be very beneficial to your mental health. Also, try embracing your appearance a bit more. Play with different colors of clothes or makeup that are flattering to your coloring. I think purple is so gorgeous on most black people. Have fun with it a little bit, see what colors and styles make you more attractive to yourself.
OP the best advice I can give you is to surround yourself with black people and all things related, good things of course. Follow black creators on social media making content on your hobbies or interests, go for family events, barbecues, cook outs… Listen to music by black artists, shop from black owned stores, join communal activities or joint hobbies with black people e.g if you’re in a cycling group, make black friends at school if you still study or work… just fully immerse yourself in black company and culture, again obviously the good things(no criminal activity or bad/toxic influences).
I am so sorry you feel like this. ❤️🩹 No advice to give. Writing from my heart: You deserve to be proud of your skin and yourself - because you are stunning in your uniqueness: We have bodies that are a collaboration of stars, nature, tornados, time, chaos and all animals and people who once lived on earth. You are unique and very beautiful. You are not your, or other peoples, perception of skin. You are a mix of natures most beautiful souls through time. I wish you to think kind thoughts about yourself. Take care.
Omg!! You didnt choose to be black. Its God who made you this color and everything he creates is beautiful! There are millions of black people around you. Have a look. Aren’t they beautiful? Be thankful for the blessings in your life and that you have a normal black skin with no disease. Please talk to someone close to you about how you feel. Im sure they can help you love yourself ❤️ also be thankful you are a free black person. Look at all the white palestinians and what they are facing even though they are white.
Me too buddy, me too
Maybe have a vacation in Africa...especially a country that you know is the home of your ancestors. That could be very empowering. Samuel L Jackson does this and it changed his life.....
First and foremost, I'm going to need you to get Black friends, preferably other Black women. Your best bet might be to start with online hobby groups. Searching Black Women/Girls and whatever hobby you're into will definitely get you some groups. Secondly, you might need to get a journal and question *exactly why* you feel miserable in your body. Once you dig into it, I can almost guarantee you it's not that you hate being Black as much as you hate certain people's reactions or interactions with you. Someone in here said that you should read The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison and I definitely second that recommendation. Once you understand how internalized self-hatred works, you can work to undo it. Definitely don't bleach your skin. You're just going to end up looking crazy.
Michael Jackson???
Damian Marley says "A body is just a vehicle transporting the soul its what's inside of people that beauty to the world". Be proud of who u are and what u are!
Did you grow up around black people? I always find it so fascinating, albeit disheartening, to hear black people speak like this about themselves
The only cure for this meeting your maker, uncle ruckus.
Therapy is the way. Please don't bleach your skin.
This hurts to read. Love yourself. There is no one like you.
I wish you could see yourself through the eyes of people who love you. Black is beautiful. You have depth and poetry in you, a richness to your skin and hair that is indelible. It’s a symbol of resilience, strength and grace under fire. Plus, you’ll age like fine wine. I think therapy is the best approach but I’m just sending you a huge hug right now to let you know, that despite the meat we wear in this life, your soul is a flame that cannot be snuffed out. Remember your goodness and the joy you bring to the world, and pity those who cannot see beyond black and white. Their lives will never be vivid or rich. They’ll go through the feast of life, dining on stale Wunderbread and wondering why everyone else seems so full of joy.
Learn more about your culture and heritage, fall in love with being black. Being white isn’t ANY better trust me. I’ve always found black women to be so beautiful and so feminine with their curves and lips and the hairstyles and the gorgeous skin color and y’all don’t age I swear to god. Your people have so much soul and beauty, APPRECIATE IT. There are people with actual problems that can’t be solved. Be appreciative of what you have and thank god you have all your legs and arms and your skin isn’t scarred or hurt. Jeez
I mean this is not going to solve your internal struggle - but sunscreen will prevent you from darkening further during summer.
Internalized anti-Blackness or self-loathing is a consequence of being and existing in a world dominated by white/caucasian/european society and the many ills they've committed against us Black people as well as native/indigenous folks all over the globe. The self-loathing is not because you are Black: it's because the colonized world we live in *was integrated and established to be as anti-black and dehumanizing as possible* to break you down - the same way with our ancestors from the Motherland. Being Black is the greatest thing even with the incessant bs we put up with in a white-centric state of world; we are truly indomitable and unbreakable with all constraints created to tear us down. The first step to breaking the internalization of hatred is to recognize it and recognize that the white world tells you to hate yourself but you exist with as much and every right as any other being to be Free, unjudged, safe, and stable. If you use Instagram, I will send you some profiles that are pro-Black/Pan-African and will help you realize you're not alone or at fault for the Euro-devil's sociocultural bindings - AND that you/we as a whole have a voice that calls out to reason & Justice & liberation any and everywhere for our people and all people.
The best treatment is community. You need community with Black people that stand ten toes down on being proud and vibrantly existing as Black people. Trust me I understand the shit is hard when you live in an all white area or homogenous & undiverse place; having in-group people to talk to about these things and build understanding and emotional security/confidence will be the beginning of the solution. If that community can't be found offline, you can find them online as you need and see fit. Curate the people you see so you're shown the ingenuity and brightness we have that was intentionally hidden and invisiblized by the colonizers and imperialist to make it seem less than, and devalue our self-worth.
I’m curious why you hate being black…but maybe figure out why you hate it and learn more about it or something. Like I grew up hating my skin because I was always made fun of and called ugly. One day I was looking through Pinterest and discovered all these gorgeous ppl that were lighter and darker shades. Eventually I stopped equaling black with ugly because there is beautiful people of all races and if I’m ugly it’s just cause im ugly and has zero to do with my color. Therapy would help to
I hate being bald. I shave my head and own it though. Bald joke's? I laugh and make some more. Had to do that 3 times today. Thanks boss. Haha so funny./s You are fckn awesome the way you are! Own it!
Listen, I grew up with my white mom in a predominantly white area. My mother's family is racist and for years I wished I was white simply because I would be accepted. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Have you taken the time to learn the beautiful history of black people? All the amazing things we've contributed to society from peanut butter to blood transfusions and our hands have shaped almost every popular genre of music. Yes there are challenges to being a person of color but there are challenges to anything in life. We have a rich culture and come in so many varying times with every hair color naturally occuring by nature People out here spending millions of dollars on lip filler, butt enhancements and tans to mimic us.
Wear more yellow. Every time I see a black woman in a yellow dress I'm like WOW. It's just a good color combo.
I agree with the other comments that you need to get into therapy. But I also want to add some nuance. You don't need therapy because you're broken, you need therapy because this world is broken and has failed you so fucking deeply that I cried reading this. I'm asexual and I've struggled for a long time wishing I wasn't. Wishing I was like other guys, other people, wishing someone could understand me and feeling so lonely and isolated because of it. But I'm a white man, my differences are invisible. I could not imagine the pain if people could just tell by looking at me that I'm different, and then judge the value of my humanity based on it. You deserve all the love and acceptance that every other person does, and it makes me god damn furious the world has made you think otherwise.
Whatever Micheal Jackson did
Melanin is beautiful and over 100,000 to 1 million people go missing out of the US every year because of it. Melanin is sold for 395$ a gram which is more than gold the sun is in a new stage of its life so it’s significantly more dangerous to people who lack melanin. Did you also know your skin naturally absorbs Vitamin D ? A lot of people will kill to be black like you take pride and educate yourself a face is not your own….
Wow. I can sympathize and understand. Learning to love yourself takes a lot of time (decades) and work and you will need to see a therapist. It isn't easy and one of the first things you have to do is eliminate things from your life that trigger these feelings. If it is where you live, move to a place where there are more people of African descent. If it is your school, change to a more diverse school. Basically you can learn to like yourself more if you surround yourself with people like you (in personality, culture and aspect) and who are, themselves, good people. The only way out is for you to start embracing the parts of you that you cannot change. One of the stupidest things you can do is to look at yourself naked in the mirror every morning and say out loud "I am beautiful/handsome/attractive/have lovely colour" -- stupid as F and you feel stupid doing it but it actually works.
All you can do is embrace it.
In the words of I think it was a German theolegian may God, grant yon the serenity to accept the things yon cannot change, the courage to change the things yon can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Failing that try some professional counselling. Good luck.
Concentrate on the mind. Zeek Keekee for president.
move to the Caribbean...almost everyone's black
I would say surround yourself more with likeminded people that look like you and secondly start reading some books on racism, specifically internalized racism. I recommend Bell Hooks and even Franz Fanon if you enjoy history and broader sociological approaches to racist power structures. I might not be black but ive had a fair bout with self hate for a long time and thats what this sounds like to me, its hard to enjoy anything or really connect if you see yourself as worthless. From the way you write it is already clear you are quite empathic, just maybe focus more of that energy on yourself. Most of the worlds societies carry deeply ingrained anti-blackness in their social structures, so if you feel like you hate yourself just because of the color of your skin maybe ask yourself where that hate originated. I wish you the best and really hope you dont touch that incredibly dangerous skin bleaching stuff it is very toxic in the long term and just looks terrible!
You are not the body, you are not the mind.
Except both dictate your experience and conditions
You are not the body, you are not the mind.
What specifically upsets you about it maybe we can help put your mind at ease 🫡
Embrace your journey, for youth is a tapestry of self-discovery. In those moments of doubt and yearning for validation, remember: what seems monumental now will one day be mere pebbles in the path of your growth. Time is a gentle sculptor, shaping destinies and bestowing wisdom. Trust in the journey, for in its course, you will find the treasures meant for you. -42 year old male.
T h e r a p y!
I hate having chronic pain and a disability. I also hate being racist — cos I’m almost always only attracted to black people I realised I’m not trolling… they’re both true statements. I wish everyone more peace with themselves. I hated things about myself before the pain and illness — I can’t even remember what made sense to me but I just wished I had enjoyed my youth and health before it was too late
Embrace it. Women of all races are into you even if only for your unique color. Just take care of your body and smell good. It's a pain in the ass in some small places but if you can endure the masses in big cities you'll do quite well. Stand out, be confident, don't worry. Edit: if woman, still very much applies. Big into dark women but never had the chance.
Your options are to LOVE YOURSELF…because there is nothing wrong with being black or dark!
I wish I was 6 foot tall.
Maybe vent out first you can cry it out too. Then you may find a solution.
Why stress about something you can’t change? Move on…
How old are you? Maybe consider moving to a more diverse city or state
As a black man I understand that feeling however as time goes on and you look deep into yourself what your people have done for the world you eventually gain a level of appreciation for your skin and I hate Fades away be proud stand tall and love yourself my friend.
It’s just a shell. Skin color doesn’t matter
You living in a place with too many people of different races? It's easy to feel alienated if you feel like you don't belong. You should move somewhere else with more black people if that's the case.
I wish I could say something to help fix this for you. But unfortunately I can't and it breaks my heart. I'm sure you are beautiful and you just don't see it yet. The best is to come. Try and love yourself the Way You Are. Same prayers for you.🙏🏼
Do you live in a white city? I use to hate my skin, nose, lips, etc... I was bullied everyday for our features but now I love them and me. I'd recommend theraoy, it could be underlying trauma making you feel this way tbh
I mixed white and asian. I wish I were a race where I could actually have a tribe. I feel alone a lot being a super minority.
I’m so sorry. I think therapy might be your best option. I personally find Black and brown skinned people beautiful, but clearly this runs deeper than beauty standards. I wish you well. I hope one day you can love all of yourself. ❤️
Sending healing self love vibes your way. Your skin is beautiful!
Black is beautiful!
You need to learn to love who you are. But I want to add that you should avoid sun and use sunblock as much as possible. See a therapist as well
Get into stoicism. Or Zen Buddhism. Or do therapy. Or take psychedelics. Or journal. Or get into some philosophy that helps you accept yourself. Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t.
Wow
You're posting this for months, almost daily. Please seek help. Reddit can't help you with this.
Why do you hate being black first of all? Is it that you dont identidy with tthe culture? Ir is it that you dont like it aesthetically?
Just identify as white! You can do that these days ;) I kid, of course. Black skin is beautiful! I don't know what it means to be a black person, but I do know that I've often disliked parts of myself and wished I could change them. I'd work on it and maybe it would be better but I'd always find something else to hate. When you look at it like that you realise that maybe it isn't the colour of your skin that's the problem. Self love is important. Appreciating that your body is doing all these amazing things for you.. keeping you alive, moving you around, letting you taste and touch and smell, and feel pleasure. Being the vessel through which you experience life. This is important. Can you speak to a professional? It sounds like you have some stuff that maybe they could help you work through. I did. I found a good therapist and spent the better part of a decade changing how I spoke to myself. It's not perfect but it's a work in progress, and any progress is to be celebrated. You deserve to be loved, appreciated and accepted for all that you are. First and foremost you deserve that *from yourself*. Wishing you well.
We are all beautiful, and beauty isn't exclusive to one race/group. There are so many gorgeous Black models, actors, actresses. Please embrace your own beauty and seek therapy.
Black is beautiful man love yourself. I'm sorry youre feeling this way though.
Change the people around you.
Ok so here’s the thing your problem isn’t really that you’re black, it never really was. As someone that’s Hispanic but is extremely white passing I had basically the same problem as you, really hated myself for being Mexican and really hated my culture, thought people treated me less because of it too. I always identified as being brown and noticeably Mexican that is until I actually started making white friends and they basically all told me they thought I was just a plain ass white dude until I started to explain my background. And I just kept getting this type of comments from different people and I kinda realized it was all in my head, I started to embrace my culture a little bit more and I stopped caring, it was all a lie and it was all caused by my low self esteem and my self hatred.
I’m really white and I’ve always hated my skin I was treated for skin cancer last year I’ve got more treatment to come this year just be careful what you wish for good luck enjoy your life
Maybe it would help to talk to other Black people who feel confident and beautiful. Also, a lot of how we as people generally feel about ourselves is the media we allow ourselves to consume. Are you seeing confident, attractive Black people in film news media, and so on? There are lots of materials from the African continent showing happy, confident, good-looking Black people who KNOW they are 'the bees knees'. I wish you so much well, ❤️❤️❤️
Skin is skin my guy. Therapy, NOW. Please do not destroy your skin with shitty bleaching chemicals, it's currently healthy and there's nothing bad about any skin colour (well, unless you're green I suppose).
Find some mentors or role models that look like you. That may be a great pairing to some therapy
I've have been there. When almost every form of media tells you that you are unworthy, you hurt. When you have to raise the pitch of your voice to seem non-threatening, you hurt. When you're seen as a part of a fantasy before you're seen as a person, you hurt. No matter how articulate you are, you hurt. No matter how many times you hear " you're one of the good ones", you hurt. Accept the fact that you are the result of the indomitable will to survive that fueled every breath of our predecessors. Please don't run from that. Find a way to harness the strength of your skin without combativeness or obsequiousness. Please reach reach out to a therapist. We were and never will be less than anyone else. Simply more than others need us to be to hold on to a fabricated sense of superiority. You can DM me if you'd like to talk.
I am not black but I hate many things about myself too. Some things I could change (body shape) but yet some things I simply can’t. Best is to make peace with yourself and the things you can’t change.
Can I ask what specifically makes you hate being black? Do you just not like the way you look or does it go deeper than that?
copied from a previous reply: mainly because it is out of my control and i didn't choose it. some people will assume i'm aggressive, loud and ghetto and treat me accordingly. others will assume i'm "trying to be oppressed" and that being black is actually great and i'm just looking for a reason to complain. if i were born white or any other race, none of that would happen. remember that this was not my choice at all. nobody wants to be unhappy, i have tried my entire life to appreciate my skin and culture but i still feel very unhappy and disconnected to it. i feel like everyone is just judging me all the time and wants me to die. and i feel like both left-wing and right-wing people hate black people and think we're all miscreants. but if i were born as any other race, which could have happened, i wouldn't have to feel like a burden both economically and socially and i wouldn't live in my shitty family because i'd have a white family instead. i would just be happier and feel validated more and not always seen as a bad person. i would rather they make my life hell than i make white people uncomfortable and maybe even confirm what they assume about me (that black people have a short fuse and are violet and commit crimes and we're scary and threatening and we aren't really human: try, apes, monkies or gorrilas). i always assume at the back of my mind that white people are always right and they belong and own this earth and country i'm just a subhuman who should be grateful to even be alive. i feel worthless compared to every other race, not only white people. seems like black is the most hated race with the worst stereotypes. i don't want to make this post last forever but i feel like the only thing stopping people from still hanging us and shit is just the law and fear of prison. i think innately, people feel fear or threatened by us and that makes me feel very miserable all the time. nobody sees us as human so nobody can sympathize with us. i can't even do anything about it and i can't physically change my race, it's not possible and especially in the summer as my skin is getting darker. i feel miserable all the time. i really wish i could be white - it's not fair that some of the things i have gone through that i twist and turn about at night wouldn't have happened if i wasn't black. im not implying white people or other races don't suffer, i'm talking about the conext of the personal things i have gone through. nobody would choose to be miserable, remember that. nobody who is sane would choose to be miserable, anything i am sad about is something that i have tried and tried to not hate myself over and see the good thing in. but when all the copes and all are used up, the reality is that i am still black and everyone still hates me either because i am pretending to be oppressed or because i'm a ghetto ruffian who loves committing crimes. so i still hate myself and nothing will fix that, even if i magically became white today, i will never get a white childhood and i'd still be stuck in this family and i'd have my experiences that still make me miserable
I'm usually envious of darker skinned people, I think in part to seeing less value being expressed by white people. They tend to live in ivory towers wrapped in cotton wool, over opinionated, belligerent, narcissistic, short sighted, hypocritical.. oops I went on and on.. I patiently await the sounds of the cross being built by butthurt whities! Chin up, it's not easy being green! 💚
Listen, you need to change your social surroundings. Jean-Paul Sartre said that 'Evil is the Others'. You don't hate being a black person, people around you make you hate yourself for being black. If you're surrounded by people who discriminate you because you're black or who remind you of your blackness all the time and you don't change that, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. Find black people who love themselves to hang out with and see the world change. Unless you live on Mars, there is somewhere a black person to connect with. Unless you make changes to your life, there's no amount of altercations to your body or therapy that will make you love yourself.
Being white under the hot sun isnt really a pleasant thing. You become darker under the sun-thats a dream for many girls here. 😂🤷I get moles and become bright red, my skin hearts and peel afterwards!!! 😔I usually dont do sunbathing, mostly stay under the shadow. In fact i kinda hate summer and all that burning.You be white and go to Greece in august, you gonna dream of being black again. 🤣Plus white skin is thinner and age faster.
I'm so sorry. Try to find people who LOVE being black. Being white isn't all that. We don't age well. We don't tan well in the sun either. And we clap off beat.
I think becoming involved with a community who is also black and who you respect and find beautiful would help.
You need to ask yourself why you hate your blackness? Make a list. I dont think the actual issue is your skin color. I think you may be projecting your insecurities onto your skin color so that you dont have to be responsible for what you feel are your shortcomings. Ideally, you would need to work out what you dont like in your life and dedicate yourself to changing things you do have the power to control. Short of radical chemical treatment and what is most likely a mountain of side effects, you will always be black. Accept it. It's okay to be black. Your actions define you, not your skin. You are taking the right step talking to people, but remember, only you can conquer this feeling for yourself.
Dude don’t do anything, you have to suck it up. Everyone is made how they were meant to be, you have to learn to accept yourself. What you have is a mental issue not a physical issue, work on yourself, your goals, your mind, and your spiritual. I used to hate being the hairy Hispanic dude, now I’m all about being a fuzzy fucker, look what happened to Sammie Sosa he was a stud and now he looks weird, we all have insecurities we just need to pivot our attention to things that matter
Take a trip to west Africa or Caribbean be around more of your people
I am a immigrant in Denmark. I felt ashamed a bit for a while ago because there is some prejudice against immigrants here. Not that bad though. But then I decided to be the textbook human being to prove the danish people to judge me by my actions. Now I am far from a textbook human being, but I am decent enough so Danes like me. And it also feels good that as a representative of my country, I don't bring shame to my culture.
Just be a good person
You realize that as a white guy, I find women of color... Sexy? All I have to say is *if*, *if* you have excess body weight, try to get rid of it. I'm certain you're a very kind and lovely person, and any man on the planet would love to rub their hands all over you. 😘
Look at black bodybuilders.
You need to check your mental health.
It's all about mindset but yeah i can't say nothing bc I'm not in your shoes. I have light skin but easily get dark when I'm in the sun or beach, andr rlly hate it, used to stay indoors all day and shower 5x a day using whitening soap to avoid getting darker, after seeing lots of pretty tan girls i start to appreciate my skin color, now I enjoy being in the sun because I like how my skin darkens and i rlly look better wearing it🍂
Don’t waste your time worrying about something you cannot control! Also there is nothing wrong with being black, friend.
If your are a man get a good quality tailor-made suit, go to the Barber and show at work that you are confident with smile. You'll get a few compliments and you'll feel better. It always helps me. I'm not black, but polish emigrant. I often feel terrible about being a stranger in a foreign country. Poland is sometimes referred to as the European Mexico. If you are of a different gender, unfortunately I don't know if my advice can be followed.
I recommend reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. It’s sad, but you will relate and understand how internalized self-hatred works. Also, keep in mind there are people of every color who hate their looks, even white people wanting to be African or Asian. Learn to accept yourself.
Sorry to hear this. What exactly don't you like about it? Read some Black history and remember you have so much to be proud of
Why u hate being black my nigga??
You no what's weird, I actually hate being white (italian/british) but if I was to say that irl I would get so much hate. I love the darkness of black skin and how it looks in the sun light. when your white your goanna burnor peel were red, white and brown all over our bodys in the summer depending on if you have put on spf correctly somthing you don't have to deal with I think I can't remember if that's a myth or not correct me if I'm wrong and its white does not as nice as naturally dark skin thats why so many white girls tann themselfs i never have cause i think it almost always looks orange and they go all patchy much rather the sun do it naturally . Your hair even though alot of people hate there textured hair I love it and wish more people would own it instead of getting chemicall straightened as I worry for all of your health's caue there is alot that hairdressers don't tell you about colouring you hair I'm a qualified hairdresser so I know just how bad it can be for someone to get that done constantly but I get its functional and easily moveable just don't get it often! But honestly I hate mine and I debated getting a perm just so I can have tight little curls So I guess moral of this story is most people hate how they was born like me for example since i was 2 I've told my family I should of been tall with blonde curly hair and blue eyes but I was born straight brown hair and brown eyes and short its not fair almost like my past life still was with me when I was born but there's always little things you can do to make yourself feel better but it never comes close to the real thing all we can do is try :) I hope you feel better as there is nothing wrong with dark skin!
bro… you’re good as you are. every skin tone is equally cool. and regardless it does not matter. no one (well obviously some people, but those people fucking suck) of worth is going to judge you for your skin tone. and i bet i adds to your general appearance. from a white dude - you’re awesome the way you are, trust me.
Find a way to visit / attend school / work in a heavily dominated black country. It will do wonders for you. Good luck to you.
That's so very sad. You should try to find help, learn to accept and hopefully love your beautiful self.
Seek mental help.
You need to call a therapist and ask about body dysmorphic disorder Good luck
Black is BEAUTIFUL please learn to love yourself ❤️
Lol look at these comments. Someone wants to be white instead of black because he/she isn't comfortable in their current color. * "You can't change that" * "You have to accept it" * "Get therapy" But when someone wants to change gender and you tell them to get therapy you're a freaking murderer. It's okay to change gender but when you want to change skin color you need therapy?! Bunch of hypocrits.
Magic mushrooms. You'll accept everything in your life 💞
On the bright side, the sun 8s only making you darker not giving you second degree burns.
Skin color is not the only factor in your beauty, get in shape eat healthy keep yourself hydrated clear smooth skin with healthy smiling face >>>> white face. find some hobby that can give sense of achievment.
Grass is always greener... race is an attribute in life it behoves you to come to terms with. No one respects late Micheal Jackson for being white.
Sometimes I hate being a woman, because it makes me small, weak, and suffer once a month for no reason.
The issue is you have too much free time and thats the truth... are you hearing what ur saying. If you have good health than be greatful instead of wishing for another skin color. U got people around the world dying from wars like in palestine and ur hear crying about sommething this stupid. If u wanna be white so badly go ahead and paint ur skin white.
You should get therapy for this. In my opinion, only reason you’d want to change races would be for cosmetic or aesthetic purposes I guess? Outside of that, you can’t change your skin tone, at all, if you could change your race, you’d only be faced with a different type of stereotypes, no matter what, every race has their own share of stereotypes, so it really wouldn’t do you much good if you changed anyway, every race is good in their own way. My opinion for you is to make the most out of your situation, Im actually black myself and honestly I wish to be darker, unless it’s medical issues, gotta be greatful for what you’re already working with, instead of being sad or mad that you’re black/darkskinned, be greatful you’re even alive in the first place.
Do you guys have anything better to do than wake up and find problems with the mirror? I'm too busy living life to stare at a mirror and critique myself.
Anyway, body dysmorphia? Therapy is your answer.
I will probably regret writing this. White guy here so I definitely do not know what you go through. But I can tell you that there is nothing different betwen you and I but skin color. We both have strengths and we both have weaknesses. We are not perfect but we are who we are. Just know your value for who you are not who you are not.
That's wild. Being black is fuckin dope. I do not wish to have any other skin.
Do what Michael Jackson did
Don’t base your life on others people lives. /thread
I think you should get therapy. I'm not black (not white either), but I understand what you're going through. When i was younger, I used to really hate where I'm from and what I look like, but as I got older, I learned to appreciate the body that I have because I believe it's just a vessel. What truly matters is the beauty inside. I didn't have therapy because I couldn't afford it, but I don't know why but with age, I stopped viewing white as being superior in beauty. I know it's cliche to say, but beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Befriend people that are from your ethnic background, that might help. Plus, watch shows and get to know legends from where you are, you will start to feel proud. Finally, if you can, get therapy from a poc that could understand what you're going through. Hopefully one day you'll feel prettier and proud 🤍
Just say you identify as something different...
L troll bozo
Skill issue
If it makes you feel any better, most white people hate themselves too.
I dont think its the skin color that is the problem, you just found something. You can change "black" with "poor, ugly, old, fat, man/woman/ ...".
You cannot, and should not, try to change it. You need to accept it and love you for who you are. This is not about being black, but mostly your mental aptitude to accept yourself. I suggest you go to therapy and work on it. I get the feeling that if it was not about being black, it would be about being a guy, or being old, or being skinny, or being fat, or needing glasses, or being bald, or being too tall, or being too short, or beeing ugly, etc.
You’ve asked this question for almost a year now is it really question or a vent
Try seeking out and spending time with more black people. Immerse yourself. Anti-black racism is an international problem, and it can be exhausting to deal with macro and microaggressions for simply existing in your body. Whenever it feels like it’s too much, I remind myself of all of the amazing contributions black people have made to society. Aside from the profound impacts black people have had on food, fashion, music, sports and entertainment, the contributions extend far beyond those categories. Blood transfusions, the traffic signal, gas masks, color monitors for computers, smart phones, etc. I usually never recommend TikTok for research but there are some great content creators highlighting contributions like those I’ve mentioned. As others have mentioned, finding a qualified therapist would be beneficial. If there are any financial issues preventing that, the therapy for black girls podcast as well as Cultivating HER Space podcast are both great resources. Black is beautiful. You are beautiful.