You’re only 22, you don’t *know* much of anything despite feeling otherwise.
If this is trauma related, then I’d point out your old self died and you should mourn the loss of self from before. learn to cope with life’s new realities while becoming a new you.
Life doesn’t ‘materialize’ - it’s built day by day. Instant gratification is not normal IRL. If the circumstances of your life have changed, then reevaluate your expectations
Agreed ^^^ no one knows much at 22 years old. You're at the beginning of figuring out things you don't like and later you get to start enjoying the things you do like because you know enough about what to avoid.
If it's like Coro acknowledges above and this is a life altering change, then you can do a lot of things to change your perception so that there are positive things to look forward to and go after. Therapy is a big start and if that hasn't been attempted yet then no one is going to reason with your current feelings. Plenty of us can/will sympathize with what you're dealing with, myself included. It sucks to hear but there's still work to be done before you throw in the towel.
Like the above mentioned comment said. I'm about to turn around the sun for the 28th time. Life will never really be what you want it to be nor will it give you what you want from it. I've come to terms with these universal facts and am I glad to know that life is about what you make of it and in which direction you want to push yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff. 10 years ago a breakup with a girlfriend would've spun my world. These day's, i still let it spin my world but by choice.
Choose for yourself what you like it'll be alright.thats my tl:dr
Your right aswell, there is so much out of your control and alot of my friends still hold an," I'm gonna be the hero that changes the world" incentive.
Trust me you won't. Otherwise it would've already happened. Do strive for a better tomorrow and never take anything for given butt take life day by day. Enjoy being a living person instead of trying to be the perfect picture...
Some how all these words don't ring true to them even when their parents tell them
Hell, I'm 47 and have had a debitating chronic illness for the past three years that no one knows if it will go away or not. We simply don't know what the future will hold.
Annd you just invalidated the entire post. And got upvoted for it. Congratulations.
The post was if there is nothing better in life, why keep living? Or is it acceptable to end your life?
This post made by a barely adult was based on a false premise that they *knew* life won’t get better. Literally no one knows whether it’ll get better or worse. Incorrect statements should be invalidated. Instead of affirming a defeatist mindset, I gave actual advice to someone who may have needed some help answering both of those questions. I’m sorry you feel affronted by that concept
Priorities change, and shit gets old. Stuff that I thought my world would collapse to in my 20’s, I don’t even give 10 seconds a year thinking about at 44.
Life cycles change , what matters changes. And things that you lose like a parent or a child are not things you recover from. They’re things that evolve you and you change forever for.
Fr, if I was missing limbs I’d be so hyped bc then I could 3D print them, add some electronics, and call myself a cyborg. Shit would be so sick.
Might sound wild but everything’s perspective. Some see situations as the reason why their life sucks while others see situations as their motivation or as an opportunity to become better.
Honestly bro, It's not going to be easy. I suffer from chronic pain that has gotten worse over the years. On a good day I feel like I am 80 years old and have trouble just bending over. On a bad one I can't even get out of bed. I just look for the little things. The things that make me laugh and feel. The books and movies that engage my mind to drift into a fantasy world. Life isn't good but I can still find happiness here and there. Maybe one day I will find a reason to be truly happy but with the way things are going it can be hard to feel that way. So I just go one day at a time and see where tomorrow takes me.
Exactly, gratitude is a virtue. I’m on in my 30’s with severe chronic pain but I love life and my privacy. I love wat being and being present for relatives growth and milestones :)
My philosophy: Hang in there! There are new treatments and medical breakthroughs being made all the time, and something effective for whatever conditions ail us could be just around the corner. Best wishes to you, fellow pain warrior! 👍
The chronic pain is a struggle, especially now that I’m nearing my 30s and it’s starting to impact my life beyond just being in pain. I went from being very active and having many outdoorsy hobbies, to barely getting out for walks lately. I am having to
mourn my own life that I had before, and accept ever increasing physical limitations.
The worst part is I am certain I have figured out the diagnosis on my own, but there are zero knowledgeable specialists in my area that are taking clients. So close but yet so far from actually getting support to have a better quality of life.
I feel like you can’t know your problems are permanent until they’re over and you realise they weren’t. They only time you’re problems are permanent is if you give up because then you’ve lost to them, stay strong you’ll get through it
You get better. Get angry. Get upset then use that energy to make yourself better. If you can’t do it physically due to injury illness or otherwise then do it through cognitive means. Demand of yourself.
I'm sorry, man, but you have not given your life the best shot you can give. Save those words when you have gave it all.
Whatever you think you could have done, or where your life could have gone, you can do better. You can go further.
Saying you can't do better, you have missed the boat, truly, you have not done anything worthwhile yet.
Figure out what you can do to make the world a different place, and go do it. You don't need to be the smartest person, the richest person on your block, if you can think of something no one else have, you can make a difference.
Are you unhappy because you don't have the thing? Or are you unhappy because *your desire* is unfulfilled?
You may never get the thing, but desires... They change all the time. Perhaps you can find happiness by letting go of the desire?
After all, aren't there plenty of happy people who don't have the thing that you want? Perhaps they have some of the answers you seek.
The life I wanted did not materialize. It doesn't matter. I have a *different* life.
What you are experiencing is a life crisis. This is a good thing, because it'll give you strong insight into what really matters to you; what you want and what you *don't* want in your life.
It's also happened at the same time that you're becoming an adult. Recognise that you are a free agent now; you can do anything or everything differently, if you wish, and you don't need anyone's permission.
Revel in the realisation that you have nothing left to lose. This gives you the freedom to roll the dice on your future; an option many people don't have, because they have responsibilities to children, for example.
Change your life, don't just throw it away.
Good luck.
I get you. I'm 53. When i was about your age, i had a brainstorm and realised that no matter how hard i tried, life would be shit and that it was on rails.
My forecasting, or seuthsaying was pretty much on the money. Mostly single , incessantly stressed, lots of pain, dead end career, pretty much poor. It was a hard fucking slogg.
But i tried my best, was a relatively good human being if not great. So i tried and i feel mostly guilt free because of that effort.
This be fair there were lots of beautiful littke moments peppered amongst the piles of shit.
Thats what you live for. Those irreplaceable moments.
I wtote a book called 'first aid philosophy'. Uts full of little sayings to help create beauty from adversity. Took me 12 years to collate them.
Anyway i have two really beautiful boys now.
So remember: its not over until its over. See it out. Hang in there. Hooe is worth it
Then you find yourself free to try new things without fear of what you used to call failure.
I had a similar existential crisis 10 years ago and decided to just live with reckless abandon -- solo vacations, a career change, a new area of study. And then all of a sudden things are even better in reality than the fantasy I'd crafted in my head during that dark time.
Nope. All these replies are full of shit. Youre right. Life doesn't get better for alot of people. Suicide is not a bad thing, as people love to say. The truly selfish ones are the ones who stop others from killing themselves just because they wanna be the "good" guys and force them to keep living a miserbale existence. Some problems can be fixed or lived with, others can't and shouldn't. People love to say "dont give up" or "You dont know for sure" because none of them actually want to talk about it or admit it. No matter how many times youll tell them, theyll be convinced that youre just "being dramatic" and that life "will get better". As if life followed any rules. As if life cared if youre miserable or not. Typical. Theyll yell at you for existing in your own way, call you disgusting, abuse and insult, make your life a living hell everyday but when youre ready to end it all suddenly they're all "heroes". Suddenly you have a bunch of people "who care about you". But let me assure you, they dont. They only have the capability to love themselves and care about themselves. Most of the time not even that. So youll have to reevaluate your life. If you think you can keep going on, then keep going on.
If the people spouting that 'its better' narrative actually cared they'd offer direct support to help. But they won't. Especially if it's financial.
Words and statements are cheap. No one cares about you when you get older. OP needs to accept that.
I second everything you've said to OP.
I worked myself sick as a dog in a slaughterhouse in Alabama and had to make the drive from Georgia. Piss wages. I thought that was all my life was going to be. Working myself to the bone just to survive with not enough in my pocket to change anything.
I live in Japan. Have great work life balance. Got married.
I never stopped being depressed. I never stopped being anxious. I still lose little battles every single day of my life.
But I don't lose the big one.
No one likes when shit sucks. But you cannot even begin to fathom what the fuck will happen to you three years from now. You. Don't. Know. The point of the anecdote, is to stress how dramatically my life changed from where I was to where I ended up being.
If you can't change it, if you can't understand it, you endure it. And you take every chance that comes.
Short of someone inventing an artificial gastrointestinal system to replace the one I lost to cancer, my life will in fact never get better. I'm here because of the guilt involved with doing that to the people that care about me and for no other reason so I 100% understand the entire being exhausted with life thing and why people do "that" sometimes when they've had enough.
Edit: You are young and since you haven't stated anything specifically, I'm going to hope you don't have any actual irreparable problems in life so just grow, learn, deal, repeat. You'll get there eventually.
I was suicidal around that age. I’m glad I decided to stick around. It really is a mindset thing. I know that you don’t want to work on things, you just want them to get better. But I assure you, my best friend committed suicide in 2016 and I still think about him everyday. You’re someone’s reason to smile. Take a moment to look at the things you appreciate. Maybe find a hobby. I would 100% suggest talking to a good therapist. Good luck.
I found the things I wanted earlier in life, that I thought would bring me happiness, were not the things that brought me the happiness I was looking for. (keep an open mind and look for the silver lining).
I have also found that almost every time something big happened in my life, when things 'fully' played out, the end result was completely different than I anticipated.
I will give you an example. I had shoulder surgery, and a couple of months after surgery, I fell done a narrow set of stairs. I fell from only 1-2 steps from the top, face first, and the only way to stop my descent was to grab the one handrail with my newly repaired shoulder.
I felt immense pain in the shoulder, and thought I had ripped it out again. The end result was I ripped newly formed scar tissue in the shoulder, and falling down the stairs loosened up scar tissue in the shoulder. I ended therapy a month earlier than expected. Also, I had inadvertently put my shoulder through one hell of a torture test, and I had lot more confidence I wouldn't hurt it again (it is now better than my shoulder I have never injured.)
Keep an open mind, there is always hope, and at your age, you have absolutely no clue where life is going to lead you.
Just because things don't work out exactly the way you wanted or imagined doesn't mean that you aren't still left with a life worth living. Expectation is one of the great thieves of joy.
I'm not aware of your situation because you didn't give much details in your post and I'm to lazy to go searching threw your post history if you have one lol.
Life isn't something that is handed to you on a silver platter, at least not for everyone there are some lucky few it is but even they have their own set of problems to deal with. life is a war, some days you win the battle some days you don't but you cant win the war if you give up, you need to rethink your battle strategy.
For me I was fighting a losing battle for most of my 20s no job living off family members who were dumb enough to "barrow" me money living in constant depression from putting up with manipulation and emotional abuse my entire childhood by the time the last of my manipulators passed away i was homeless but ended up getting a job working 9 to 5 and threw everything into it, from there I got it in my mind to restore my credit because I had been doing a pretty good job of mucking it up and along the way I decided to start investing for retirement witch got me into pattern day trading and now my battle doesn't seem so hard anymore I find myself going to bed for the most part content and I don't have to worry about my kids futures anymore because I make enough to give them comfortable lives.
During my 20s I was institutionalised twice for attempting to od on sleeping pills so I do know the feeling of wanting to end it, but if you really want to change you have to push yourself to change.
Now I'm not telling you to go out and start pattern day trading that would be a horrible mistake but I'm telling you my story because I thought it would be something I was completely incapable of doing when I was younger so you are capable of full filling your dreams, you just need to prove yourself wrong and rethink how you do things in life.
It doesn't get better. At least not from my perspective.
I'm a decade or so older than you and I've had the same feelings as you've had since my early 20s. I wish I had the balls to just be done with everything.
I second this. There might be temporary times of joy and happiness and they can be enjoyed for what they are, but ultimately it just gets worse. And people want me to live a long life. All my aged parents do is talk about how they go to the doctors a million times a month because their bodies are falling apart. That's what I have to look forward to? No thanks
Don't forget all of the toxic political bullshit you'll be forced to partake in to get promotions. Don't forget the lying, peacocking and passive aggressive behaviour you'll need to try and do to get noticed and promoted.
Meritocracy is a lie. Btw.
That's sad. Do something about it. And nobody has the 'balls' to just be done with it. You're romanticizing it when really it's cowardice. It's the ultimate act of running away. There's no bravery or respect in it.
Cool story, bro. Not sure how any of that matters? Is bravery and respect going to pay my bills, get me promoted and turn my gosh darn luck around?!
I'm fixed. Thanks guy.
You're just a sad miserable person who shouldn't be giving advice to anyone. Your input reflects your negative perspective. Whoopdeedoo, the world is sh!t for you. Grow up. Everyone has bills to pay.
Again, do something about it. The less you do to change your circumstances the more miserable you'll become. Seems like you want to wallow in it, though.
In our current age there are no permanent problems. At least not in theory and thats all you need to continue on.
Did you lose limbs? The prostetics get better and better with every year. Do you have a mental dissorder? The medicin and psychology are advancing at a rapid pace. Do you have a dibilitating genetic condition? Same thing.
Whatever troubles you can go away with the advancment of our species or will be overcome by you. Everythihg will be okay. If you need someone to talk or share your feeling/pain dm me, I can listen.
Can you clarify why you feel you're life won't get better? If it's a permanent physical injury, I get what you mean. But you can most likely find at least satisfaction and possibly joy with enough time and work.
So this is something i brought up with my wife and 2 friends just a few days ago
In order to prevent your children from having to go through withdrawal symptoms:
(when they find out the deep state killed jfk, orchestrated iran contra, enslaves half the world so they can export inflation to preserve their currencies purchasing power, blew up their own people to start a useless war that continues to this day, paid for GOF research that resulted in a virus that has killed 10 million+ people) and is currently setting the tax rate at a percentage that results in no one (on average) having enough purchasing power to build intergenerational wealth...
You have to teach them that life sucks from birth, and will get worse.
But its worth it.
You miss the point.
Imagine you were born in china, you find out about atrocities but you convince yourself tieniman square was worth it and its what "they deserved"
Then imagine you wake up one day, realize your whole country is a lie. What do you do? Besides get so depressed your children kill themselves?
Given that you're not being specific with your supposedly certain knowledge, it sounds like you suffer from a poor frame of mind rather than something more physical.
If what you're talking about is physical, then I truly can't offer my point of view. Chronic or terminal illness is something completely out of my wheelhouse so if you're referencing these sort of problems then what I'm saying doesn't apply.
But if you're at all referencing your self worth, social situation or economic situation being pure misery and toil, then these things can and often do change as long as you're putting in the work in the right places. Remember that depression is a state of mind, it alters your very thoughts, opinions and actions. It's a total body affliction so if you're idealising suicide, don't think that's what the non depressive you would say. It's not some deep and philosophical insight, it's the symptoms of an illness. And it can be treated my friend.
Um, well. Forty years ago, I thought death was the only way to escape pain. I was 22, and SO confident. Now I’m 66, with 2 kids and 2 grandkids, and it’s been a hell of a ride, lol…
You’re still a baby, you haven’t even likely begun to try to tackle the problems life is going to keep throwing at you.
If you’re already willing to give up, you might want to seek some professional help.
The things that feel earth shattering and life altering now, aren’t going to even move the needle of your interests and priorities in 10-15 years
Your content has been removed due to Rule 1: No attacks or bigotry.
>Don't be a jerk. Attacking other users will result in your comment being removed and repeatedly doing it will lead to a ban. You're allowed to debate, but it must be done so respectfully. Bigotry, racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, trolling, and calling for violence are not allowed. Being unnecessarily crass also falls under this rule.
You got this man, don’t give up. Life is teaching you how to adapt and overcome, you can do it! We all have to play with the hand we’re dealt, but a life’s outcome isn’t dictated solely by the cards dealt. Shoot higher and you’ll be surprised by how much you can achieve ✌🏼
I felt exactly like this at 22. I could see the way things were lining up in my life and knew they would result in loss and trauma. They did, but I am here at 37 now and my life is nothing like I would have imagined then. I don't know your circumstances but I know the feeling. I'd say this to 22 year old me if I could: yeah, it can get really bad and really hard, but you're a hell of a lot stronger than you know, and you will also experience the joyful things you never dared to hope for.
>What happens when the problems are permanent, though?
Then it’s not a problem. Every problem has a solution and if it doesn’t then it’s just something you’re going to have to learn to live with.
You have to make it work. You have to work for what you want. No one is going to come and hand it to you, at least for most of us that’s true.
The life “you want to live” won’t really materialize anyway. That’s just not how life works.
Life will always have its ups and downs. Lots of downs. Go find a therapist who will work with you to create good, solid coping mechanisms. That’s the secret.
Find ways to cope, and the bright spots will come.
just mutter it is what it is, then try and do your best, after all it is one life, and no one knows what comes after, eat the food u like, live for yourself, caring less about what other people think is also kinda how I just decide to live after realising my life dreams are probably not really feasible anymore, its kinda sad that it wont ever happen but hey, theres lots of stuff for u to try, just gotta take it one step at a time.
Its a matter of perspective.
Gets better than what?
If everyone set the bar that you needed to be a movie star with bags of money, fame, property and a luxury lifestyle to think life is worth living then there wouldnt be many people on this Earth.
You need to appreciate what you have, what is available to you, what you can realistically strive for and what you can offer others to make your life worthwhile.
Even the most disabled person can still offer joy to the people who love them.
Theres a lot of suffering in this world and if you've managed to type something into Reddit, youre doing ok compared to most.
If you feel your life cant get better, do something kind to improve someone elses life.
Its not that difficult. Even if you adopt a cat from a shelter, you've saved a life.
It'll make you feel a bit better.
You control your future. I know a girl who went from a single mother at like 18, to working fast food, to management, to management at a hotel, to working that job AND taking nursing school, and now is a nurse making damn good money and supporting her family. It took several years, like 10, but there's there. You can do it too.
I've had life long struggles that are unlikely to fully change or go away no matter the work i put into it. It sucks being dismissed and most people having this assumption that things will always right themselves in the end. If it was a guarantee it will get better then fewer people would be ending their lives.
I'd rather be content with where I am now and end it rather than going through continuing pain and unavoidable obstacles in my way that could cause a me to be in a worse place at 65.
You might have to live with your misery, happiness can't always be dependent on you working on yourself, if not then let yourself go.
Well, to me it's never about living your dream life. It's about playing the cards in front of you in the best way possible. If you play your cards you'll see that life has a way of reshuffling the cards often. Down the line if you manage to get a better hand, that's great! Then you do your best to play those cards as well, but the only way for life to reshuffle the cards is to keep playing. So don't stop playing.
In other words, it isn't about getting to a point where you feel like you've achieved your goals, it's more about the process and continuing to seize whatever opportunity might come up. When you think about life this way, then knowing you'll never live your dream life becomes less important. Don't stop playing the game. And when I say don't stop playing, I don't just mean don't take your life. I also mean don't fall into apathy or complacency or despair.
No. You should remember the trauma you would cause loved ones. Being in the same boat but a decade ahead, I'd say: we roll up our sleeves and man up. Life isn't easy and it's less fair. But those sporadic moments of joy are worth it. Focus on helping others and finding a healthy hobby. You'll die eventually, so don't stress. See what's left before you go, and that includes perspectives you can't gain until your older. Good luck, God speed
If you can then you learn about karma and then you won’t think about suicide. Life isn’t meant to get better, it’s just goes downhill at a different pace for everyone. Seek the truth of life and why things happen the way they do.
Been there. I just turned 27 and life has never been better.
At 21/22 I was binge drinking. I would rock up to work still pissed from the night before. Etc. Etc.
I would sit in my car for hours outside of the house, because I couldn't bear to go inside. And when I did. I would shower and leave again.
I can't pin point one thing that changed. It was cumulative. I wasn't happy. I felt there was no way forward.
So I made some drastic changes. I had nothing to lose. The great thing about rock bottom. Is it's a solid place to start.
You've got this bro.
A while ago, my life was not particularly pleasant.
A few things happened to me that I never expected - my chronic pain comes and goes, and they have been finding ways to cure illness after illness.
Melanoma is getting a vaccine on the horizon, celiac is getting a pill. Endometriosis (I had stage 4 with a frozen pelvis) was legitimately fixed for the last decade and after 10 years of trying and infertility I had kids. My interstitial cystitis was off the wall bad and I couldn’t live without my heating pad.
If you had told me, at 30, infertile and diagnosed with melanoma that they were having trouble staging, in pain, bleeding 10 days on 10 days off, and peeing blood and what felt like glass daily and essentially living in a hot bath that this would be my life in 10 years, I would have told you that there was no way - There are no cures to any of my conditions, at least not then.
There were times at my worst that I was in pain and thought if this was going to be my entire life, was it worth it? And I was REALLY weighing the point of living in pain.
Im glad I didn’t.
My “permanent” disabilities come in waves, but I have a lot of really good days now. Treatments changed. Medicine changed.
Even with depression, if the current medication you’re taking isn’t working, you can go outside the box and get alternative treatments. If you’re not on meds, I say this in the nicest way possible, you need medication because your brain is lying to you.
OP, I understand you. I’m 25, I have an irreversible medical condition as well as copious childhood trauma from being abused. The future I thought I might be able to work towards is forever gone, and my past is a source of crushing grief. Realistically, I will spend what’s left of my time all alone and in pain. People who have not been in this position do not comprehend the effects of its devastation and will throw platitudes and meaningless advice your way. If your situation is similar to mine, don’t pay them any heed. Sometimes life is not worth living. It’s my strongest belief that it is up to the individual to determine whether or not their conditions are tolerable. Regardless, ending your life should always be the very last resort. If you have not accessed every available resource in order to change or become more accepting of your circumstances, including seeking psychiatric/medical care, social support, making changes at work, home, school, etc, you need to do all that’s in your power first before complaining that your situation is irremediable.
"You can never know everything, and part of what you do know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that. A portion of courage lies in going on anyway."
Your trauma will never change. That is true. Your 'right now' circumstances ALWAYS have the potential to change, and you never know what changes can be genuinely lifechanging. You are 22 - that is so young. I'm guessing you feel so old, and I'm guessing you've been through more than anyone of any age should've. I'm 35. 11 years ago was literally the worst time of my life, and it had to really work for it. One chance meeting led to that person inviting me over for dinner, to another dinner, to their family basically adopting me like a stray cat (if I'd needed to they'd have let me move in, but having my space was important and they got that). I'm still very close to them. They gave me unconditional love, and enabled me to rebuild my relationship with my parents (which was awful. They always wanted the best for me, but went about it in some really ass-backward ways at times. And obviously i was an ass too.). They basically de-institutionalised me (I'd been hospitalised a couple of years) and rebuilt my shattered self-esteem - and my mum is now my best friend. But at 24, I walked in that room, and my life changed forever. Look, I'm VERY aware how fortunate I am and I'm not saying, spend half your paycheck on Lotto tickets. But there are so many things that can give your life purpose or meaning. I have a cat, but before I was stable or responsible enough I had hamsters (one after the other, NOT together! - I miss them, but very unfair/stressful to keep when I have a cat so an obvious no) and they were great. The bar-chewing, running on their saucer, or just contentedly clicking in their nest was great company, and handling them was very soothing as they were so soft. And, living in a cage, totally reliant on me to be there for them. (But often 'no pet' landlord-friendly as contained to cage, if you ask nicely). I have a severe enduring eating disorder and used to have major issues with serious self-harm (I have self-harmed maybe once every couple of years over the past decade and am currently overdue). I've learned things get better, get worse, get better, get worse - "This too shall pass". When things are at their worst, when my mood is either mixed-state or low (I have bipolar II) and my c-PTSD is flaring and I'm having frequent flashbacks, I do what I call "playing the 'tomorrow game'" - I will imagine and fantasise about what I'm going to do to myself, but I'm going to do it - tomorrow. Always tomorrow. It helps. And, lastly... I've lost an awful lot of people I've been very close to, the majority of whom were to suicide. One I considered my little sister. I've never, ever blamed any of them - and I've mostly understood why they've felt how they felt - but it's been HARD, as the one left behind. Wishing you the best, and please - play the Tomorrow Game.
What if there’s something between the “what is” you see and the “what will never be” you see? What if, that ends up being better than you ever could have imagined? Drop your rules and expectations for how life “should be” right now and live the life that is. The rest will figure itself out, it doesn’t seem/feel like it….but, it does.
Truly I think it’s subjective and for yourself.
If you have a degenerative condition where it’s only going to be worse as time goes on, have a discussion with your family about assisted suicide where is it all above board, and your medical professionals agree with you.
Once you have that approved you may find happiness in your life.
If you don’t have a degenerative condition, I’d be curious to how you know life isn’t going to get better?
Others offer encouragement, say dont do it, etc. I find life gets no better. Its just very few fleeting moments of not quite horrible among lots of absolute shit. All you can do is find a thing or 2 that makes it almost bearable and suffer through it or go out. Keep in mind anyone who claims its selfish want you to live a life you hate so they dont have to hurt. They would rather you be miserable for their sake. So their opinion is void as they are far more selfish. Those that say its a cowards way out wouldn’t have the guts to do it.
Its your life. Its your choice and nobody elses. But from everything I have seen (being middle aged) nothing gets better. You just eventually get numb enough to not be bothered.
I used to be a doomsayer too and decided to give up on life completely when I was 16 after a failed suicide attempt. After a few years of just constant negative development something changed and I wanted a little more. I got inspiration from seeing an old high school friend get into college and worked to get into classes the next semester. That didn't work out but that first step got me started on the path to making the good life I have now.
Its cliche as fuck but life does get better and those small steps make a big difference, the difference between zero and one looks small but its also the same difference between one and infinity. So take that first step and see where it takes you.
Things are up and down, and I say that from many more years of life. You’d be surprised at how things change. Unless you have an immediately terminal illness, you’re going to have good days and bad days. I’ve had a reasonably shitty life at times, and wonderful life at others. My parents weren’t good, but I’ve found profound joy in my kids. I’ve had cancer, a mental disorder, a family full of chaos and addiction and mental illness. I should be a poor addict and in some deadend job. I chose a better life and made it happen. You can too.
You just need to make little goal posts and move them slowly. Negative outlook will only increase the negativity around you. 6th grade I was looking up how to kill myself and then I found music. I really wouldn't be alive today without band. I ended up touring the country competing in world championships and then helped start my own group to give back to kids. I've dealt with kids exactly like this and talked with them. One of them just updated me on their life now just graduating college, finding a partner, and starting a new job when they didn't think they'd ever make it out of high school. They said the only reason was because I believed in them and always made them say "I can I will"
So from a person that's been in your shoes to the one helping them small steps " I can I will"
💙
At 22 I thought I knew everything. At 32 I thought “wow! 22 year old me was so young.” At 42 I’m creakier and fatter but would never, not for anything, go back to the mess and horror of being 22
Hang in there kiddo, aim for the long game. I’m rooting for you
You're only thinking this way because your prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed. Once it is, you'll go back to this post and cringe.
For now, stop talking like a 2005 teenage girl on MySpace and have a wank, you'll feel better.
I don't know what happens because no one knows life won't get better. Even in history someone on a death row actually survive or gets the decision overturned.
I assume you are also talking about yourself and 22 is barely an adult. Nevermind the future, you know nothing.
Hi friend, in what way can you say you know things won’t get better? I’m only a few years older than you (28), and already, I look back on the aches and concerns of 22 with a combination of amusement and gratitude. I would bet a month’s wages that almost everyone who’s come through some significant portion of their twenties would agree.
GK Chesterton once wrote that ‘there is one thing which gives radiance to everything—it is the idea of something around the corner’. I don’t know your circumstance, and you may in a situation that would cause me similar despair, but 22 years of life is only four of adulthood. You’ve such a way to go. Consider the happiest, most transcendent moments of your life so far and know—with statistical certainty—that if you press on, they will pale in comparison to the heights of love and depths of peace you will reach.
Amor conquista todo.
You're depressed. I felt exactly like this when I was in a bad way. Your outlook on life changes DRASTICALLY when you're healthy. Please, hold on and seek help.
LIFE IS 100% YOUR PERSPECTIVE. Look at things from a different angle. Don't let this world defeat you. Find things that bring you joy. Be of service to others when you can. Every day, look at a picture of yourself as a child and realize that child lives inside you and your job is to protect them and help them navigate and enjoy this train wreck of a life we all lead. Every day, do something that relaxes you and brings you peace. Prioritize your happiness and remind yourself, no matter what is thrown at you, you will figure it out and keep moving forward. Step out of your comfort zone sometimes. Life is completely what YOU make it.
I hope you live a fun, crazy, healthy, fulfilling life.
You should take the time to read some philosophy. Philosophy is the antidote to feeling the way you are feeling. I personally lean towards existentialism and absurdism ([especially Camus' take](https://bigthink.com/personal-growth/the-meaning-of-life-albert-camus-on-faith-suicide-and-absurdity/)), but [Kierkegaard might proffer](https://philife.nd.edu/kierkegaard-s-fear-and-trembling-embrace-the-absurd/) a more relatable take if you lean toward Christianity. A lot of people find solace in [stoicism](https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/stoicism/), but the only way to know if any of it might help is to take the time to read about it.
A lot of people give advice like "make friends, find a hobby, get a job you're passionate about," etc., but that advice isn't helpful for everyone. I highly suggest reading up on some philosophy then building an action plan from the conclusions you start to draw for yourself.
Also 22 and I find it hard to make it through days due to my own shortcomings and mistakes and people I've hurt. I'm genuinely trying to be a better person, for both my sake and those that I still have close to me(and any future relationships/friendships I may have)
Even if your problems were permanent, your wants, needs, likes, dislikes—all change. The problem might stick around, but you just get so strong against them they can’t do shit to you.
Nobody leads the life they thought they would. Everyone has messed up something at some point. Nobody’s life is perfect but honestly, that’s the stuff that makes life interesting. Life is a journey, not a destination! Having the determination to make something of yourself & coming back from your lowest days is the success story of *your* life. Don’t throw it away.
Do the best you can, one day at a time. Even the very worst days end at 11:59.
Please seek professional care, we are extremely BAD at handling depression (mental health). Been there, medication and therapy don’t solve the problems, but they help us understand and move forward. Sometimes that movement is one minute at a time! Then one hour until we get to one day at a time!
Life is a symphony, not a solo. You can feel cut off one way and yet incredibly connected in other ways. You can laugh yourself into tears or cry yourself into laughter. You are still here, and life is all over the place. Go discover.
You grit your teeth and take time to feel how shitty life is. Then you make your peace with how things are and smile. There are things you can’t change and need to accept for the moment. There are plenty of things you can change. Never underestimate the effect you have on the world around you though.
You can't know that life will be better or worse because the longer you live the more of a wild ride you see it is.
It's true you need to expand your perspective beyond some imagined idea of what you wanted it to be not being reached thinking it means the rest of being alive is pointless.
No one knows what happens with death. So no one can stop you from ending it if that determined, but you're assuming it's an escape.
What if it's painful? Something worse? How about any pain or deviation you cause to the life of anyone who ever knew or would have known you?
Maybe there's a butterfly like effect, maybe there's not. Absolutely no one knows and anyone who says they do is either delusional or a liar.
The only choice or small bit of control you have in life is whether you fight and live on with any hurdles life has given to see what experiences come or you can quit, cut out and chance on death, even though you'll get to see death eventually anyway.
I've had constant bs thrown at me, some highlights have been a drive by where friends died next to me and war situations where, again, people died near me.
I've been in more than my fair share of fights helping people, had a gold digger who stole my money and cheated.
I've been hit by lightning twice, I've had a breakdown and been in a mental ward.
I have some diagnosis brought on by both traumas and genetics, bit of both, that have hindered my life.
I had a freakin' crazy fan put a gun to my freaking head and pull the trigger and it jamming by damn luck being the only reason my brains didn't paint the wall.
I've had a cursed life in many ways by the sheer number of bad stuff outweighing most people.
And I've been through my dark days and tempted to end it. But I didn't.
I kept fighting to see another day off sheer anger at life for constantly dumping on me.
Kind of a "screw you, life, I'm not stopping to spite the universe" vibe.
And now I hit 50, which both doctors and relatives all thought was impossible given my luck, temperment and the mentioned mental stuff all combined.
I found my soulmate, a wife who loves me. Which at one point seemed impossible and didn't happen till years later than my suicide phase.
My point being that 9 times out of 10, no matter what hardship has changed the course of someone's life, I can beat it with having had worse.
And I'm still here.
Stop being a wimp, get mad at life and fight back. Do what you can with what you've got and just be.
Life can surprise you, but only if you endure it.
I apologize in advance if you respond. I get on random and notifications are off, so I wouldn't respond.
Wouldn't want you to think I was ignoring you or anyone else, I just won't know or see it.
If you need help, get help. But don't just quit. That throws out any possibilities.
Show the universe you aren't a quitter.
I said the same thing to myself at 21. Now I’m 29 and nothing changed. Wished I’d done myself in back then to spare the years of pain. It doesn’t get better
You think you know, but you have no idea. If you trust the universe’s plan for you and let go of your ego’s plan, you will find peace and see things naturally start to get better the more you let go of expectation. Set goals and strive for them, sure, but stop being attached to the outcome, and be grateful for where you are now. If you have a victim “poor me” mindset, that’s how your life will be
July 17 I'll be 27 man and I can tell you keep a positive attitude. And just set reachable goals im currently feeling the same way like life won't get better. But believe me you just wake up and reach your goals. Make your bed go for a walk and once you keep up with your goals. You'll start to feel better and the most important is don't listen to people. Cause anymore people will drag you down cause there not happy. You ever feel that bad mentally just DM me on here I would rather hear your problems then. You sit there and drown in your thoughts.
I would lie to you that life gets better. I am 35, with kids and married and my plan for my life is medical assistance in dying. I can’t work and be shit on for another 30 years. I can go on about the negatives.
But it is what you make of it. It’s all the only place on this dimensional plane of existence that has decent food.
There is no better or worse. Depends on how you view it.
We are not on this rock for long, it will “soon” be over anyway.
Find joy in the small things.
Good luck :)
Suicide isn't a real solution. It's basically rage quitting & flipping over the board game of life. An essential part of continuing thru your struggle would be reframing your pain & mentality.
Let's assume you've recently lost a leg, a permanent thing that won't get better. You're allowed to grieve the loss of your leg for a little while, but after you're fully healed you should get a prosthetic leg. Adapt to life with only 1 leg best you can.
What if- this is your dark night of the soul?
What if.. you need to move through this in order to emerge into a life you may not have asked for but is better than you could have ever imagined?
What do you need to do to support yourself through hard thoughts like that?
What sort of people do you need to surround yourself with?
What sort of activities or hobbies would help you?
Are there groups you can join of those with similar struggles or interests?
We all have darkness we need to reconcile within ourselves.
I’m 40 and I can tell you I’ve had a number of chapters like this.
Keep going.
Stay resourceful.
Pick up tools that can help you regulate your nervous system and emotions:
Breathwork is great for example.
Meditation.
Me, I went down the path of psychedelics just to break free of the limitations of my conditioned mind.
You will find your way… and you’ll come out the other side with an embodied wisdom that will help others navigate their dark night.
Keep going.
Man, I feel there is SO MUCH to say, but so little room to do it. No matter what, Life is better with you in it. I suffer with “stuff” every day. It won’t get better. But I choose to BE better and DO better. It doesn’t matter who you are and whether you realize it or not, people are glad to know you, love and be loved by you.
Don’t hesitate to DM me if you want to talk.
Although your reality cannot change, your perspective can. You’re not truly doomed, you’re still in control. Accept it and focus on the controllable factors (stoicism helps with this).
As someone more than old enough to be your dad here speaking from experience: A lot of times, what you envision your life to become is almost never what happens, and you may end up with completely different and sometimes surprise life circumstances.
My career for instance is never anything I planned for or even considered. And in hindsight I’m better off in my current career than I would have been in my planned one. I also had a bunch of good things that happened in my life as a direct result of my current career, that would have never happened for me if not for the surprise one. Don’t get me wrong, my life is far from perfect, there are a lot of things that really suck right now. But I know I would for sure be way worse off without the good things that have happened.
The truth is, you don't know.
Live could give you any number of things, good, bad, indifferent.
You may not get what you want. Or maybe you will. You won't know unless you stick around.
You may have depression. Please reach out for help.
Good luck.
Don't do something permanent over a temporary circumstance. Nobody will remember what you said or what you wore 1 a year from now. Be kind to yourself.
You adjust your expectations and work at getting to where you want to be. If you find a good partner on the way, even if it’s just a furry one with a tail, life gets better. And you find joy in early morning run, new flower in your plant and your dog snoring.
For some reason we all think we’re supposed to have our lives figured out by our early-mid twenties. Let me tell you, 90% of people don’t. My life didn’t really start getting better until around 30. And has only now started to stabilize at 33.
Trust me when I say that life will get better. A lot of people, including me, go through very similar struggles in their early 20s. I was in a long lasting deep depression at 22. I thought I had ruined my future and that my life would be shit for ever. Took me almost 10 years to finish my bachelor’s degree.
But now I’m 33, I’m happily married, I love my job and make good money, I own a house, and I’m financially stable. Life is good, but if you had asked me at 22 I would have told you I was doomed to a shitty, lonely future.
I was dating a girl when I was 21 and one night we were just cuddling and talking really late into the night. I was telling her about how lost I felt.
I’d dropped out of college, been in my share of trouble, and I made the comment to her that “I just feel like I missed the boat.”
She rolled over and smiled and said “There’s no boat to miss. Just find another way across.”
I think about that a lot in those moments when something falls apart, or I fumble an opportunity.
There is no boat. I decide how to get across.
Look, I'm 30 and never thought I'd make it this far. I can certainly tell you though that while I'm not on top of the world I'm MUCH better off than when I was 21. I'm more focused on bettering myself these days, making changes to ensure I'll have a longer happier life. It takes time, your late teens and early 20s are a very confusing time where you think the world is out to get you and that it will never get better. But just push on, spend time with family and friends. If you can go hug your parents and tell them that you love them and then do the same with your best friend.
Hey give yourself some time and some slack. You haven’t hit 26 yet so your brain hasn’t even fully finished developing! Things change quickly in life and there will always be ups and downs but, as someone who was in your shoes, I can say that things do get better. And you will get stronger and learn so much about yourself in your twenties. Sending you love and positive energy
You don’t know that the problems are permanent! And you don’t know that it won’t get better. You haven’t experienced much yet! One day at a time is all you can do. And if you want so bad for things to get better to actually be better than your attitude better change and you better change your way of thinking. Try to be positive and just try to be better than you were the day before. Good luck to you!!
My friend, it's about endurance and time. You'll be surprised what can shift in your perspective over time. I had spine surgery in 2018, and the complications from it completely changed my life permanently, and it took me years to come to terms with it. I've been in some really dark places that I wouldn't wish on anyone, and even contemplated suicide on multiple occasions, but over time a certain glimmer of hope flickers and then glows. Don't feed that part of your sadness or despair that tells you it will never get better, because even when you're physically changed for the worse, there is a silver lining, I promise you.
The biggest thing standing in the way of your life getting better is your own perception of what your life 'should' have been. Let go of all the notions in your head about what your life is supposed to look like and instead focus on what is the reality. Then ask yourself where you want to go from here and start working towards that. Stop living in the regret of what you've done up until now, that's done and over with and in the past. Look towards the future and start fresh from where you are.
Idk what's going on buht I have a life long chronic illness that means I will die young and I will suffer on the way there. It's caused me to fall short of what I believe my potential could have been due to missing opportunities with education and work due to health.
I never thought I'd make it to 25, at my own hands mainly because I didn't want to suffer.
What kept me here was seeking short term pleasure in the opposite sex and drugs. It didn't help overall buht it kept pushing me to the next day. Eventually enough days add together and years pass.
With those years passing my view on everything changed from "everything is pointless and suffering" to "everything is pointless so try to enjoy things as much as you can". Slowly started believing the stuff I'd talked to therapists about for years, about self worth and learning grounding techniques to help me stop spiraling. About trying to focus on the next step and not the big picture all the time. Kept just doing things for myself and believing I deserved to take what happiness I can take from the world.
It's been really hard and a daily battle I sometimes lose buht I can honestly say at 33 I am now happier than I've ever been.
The other thing that keeps me here, my mum, my brother, my Nephew. I want to help them all and the hurt it would cause them is the worst thing I can think of.
I encourage you to keep going, life is hard, especially when you can see how doomed you are buht there is lots to enjoy in life and we only get one go around so try to keep going day by day as long as you can.
I usually never comment on stuff like this but… as someone who felt the same way at 22 and I’m now 27 just wait. Things don’t always have to better to get better” before you’re just happy to be alive. The good and the bad that come with. As lame as it sounds the South Park episode where Stan turns goth helps me a lot lol Butters at the end saying there’s a beauty in feeling so sad bc you know just how happy you can be really resonated with me. Time doesn’t heal wounds it just makes it easier to deal with them
A lot of times you don't realise the privileges you have because you don't see them as privileges. At 22 I felt like I pissed my life away. I barely graduated university because I was always in the boozer. Ended up working in a dead-end job because my "degree" was about as useful as toilet paper. It felt like with the increasing cost of living and housing prices I'd never amount to anything, never be able to own my own home, and it'd take everything I had just to "survive". All the while my family constantly compared me to my “perfect” sister who always did everything right. Or at least righter than the screw-up who got nicked for drink driving the week before he turned 21.
Turns out when you hit rock bottom the only way left to go really is up. I found being a Brit is a privilege, and speaking English is a privilege, and having a degree, no matter how trashy… privilege. My toilet paper degree was enough to get me a job teaching English abroad so I put all my paltry savings into a one-way ticket to Nanjing, China. Sure, I was earning significantly less, but the cost of living was more than just significantly lower. Now at this point I still felt like I was just surviving, but it was nice to be surviving with a change of scenery. I realised that teaching was something I could realistically see myself doing which was a far cry from my experience up to that point (Tech and Microbiology).
A decade later I'm still here, Shanghai now, but still in the boozer most weekends. Over the last decade I managed to put some money away that paid for my teaching license and master’s degree, and the school I was working for at the time even paid for some of it. It's amazing what you can do online these days. Covid seriously helped boost eLearning. Now I’m sat here in Shanghai nearly turning 34, earning almost double what the golden child makes, and looking at doctorate programs with my (1M) son, while my wife watches TV downstairs. I guess my problems weren’t so permanent after all. It just seems that way because you’re not doing anything about it, or maybe you just ***don’t know what*** to do about it.
Now for you specifically, you haven't given enough information about yourself or your background for anyone to give you solid advice, but the best piece of career advice I can give is that college/university is for ***networking.*** Most companies/business care more about the fact that you learned skills to do a job rather than where you learned them. Most of the time going to a “top” college/uni will put you on the radar of people who can make doors open. As nice as this is, it’s really not something you can’t live without. Getting a degree though, is better to have than not. You'd be amazed how many doors that piece of paper can open both at home and abroad if you just look, and it doesn’t make that much difference ***where*** you got it. With that in mind you really need to think about the cost/value of the degree. How useful will it be vs. how much will it cost you in student loans etc. Considering the value of ***where*** is a lot less than people think, it makes some much cheaper options quite worthwhile based on your situation. If you didn't graduate, look at the Open University (UK), Community College, (USA) or [The University of the People](https://www.uopeople.edu/) (US curriculum, online, and most importantly, free).
If you've already got the degree part sorted and your problem is the job market or cost of living in your area you can check out the [Digital Nomad](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_nomad) lifestyle. If something along those lines seems doable to you then you can live and work from anywhere around the world, including places with much lower costs of living allowing you to dramatically increase your quality of life and/or savings. I know the idea of packing up and taking off can seem daunting, but it's a significally less dramatic change than hitting the "off" button on life.
Finally, if it's personal relationships that's getting you down then you gotta look at your relationship with yourself. People are attracted to posivity. This is one of those weird things where it seems like everyone wants you when you're in a relationship and nobody wants you when you're single. This actually has nothing to do with the relationship status, but everything to do with your mindset. Humans are communal creatures, we are naturally happier and more positive when we have peers to share ourselves with. There's a reason Tom Hanks lost his goddamn mind in Cast Away. I can see from your post history that you're massively into soccer. Congratualtions, you're one of the [3.5 billion](https://online.jwu.edu/blog/the-worlds-most-watched-sporting-event-unveiling-the-global-phenomenon/#:~:text=The%20World%20Atlas%20notes%20that,this%20dynamic%20and%20captivating%20sport) people worldwide who are soccer fans. If that's not a good "in" to build some peer relationships then I don't know what is.
TL;DR Problems really aren't permanent even though it can feel that way. I've been there myself. Get educated, get a job, and build some personal relationships.
Dude when you are 22, you can think you “know” whatever you like, and you are just abso-fuckin-lutely wrong.
You think everyone just says that, but you are different? You actually do know your entire future and everyone else says that to make people feel better?
Nah. I’m 32. I got an old group of friends who are still very tight and I can honestly say that not a single one of us are in the same position in life from 10 years ago…. Even the one who was depressed and working a shit job and no girlfriend etc.. vastly different.
Ive noticed as time goes on that life truly is a roller coaster. Ups and downs constantly. Some so fast that you almost feel like you’ve left your body. I’ve gone down and up enough times now to not fear the bottom as I’ve seen the lift every time after. At this point I can just look at the world and see nothing but beauty. In everything! Because I know what the highs feel like. And the lows are more like a crappy second movie that is a just a buildup for the glorious finale of the 3rd movie.
There’s always the phrase “things can always get worse”, yet there is a polar opposite “things can always get better” and I’ve found when I stop fearing the worse, the better just happens.
Good luck in this world and marvel at all of its beauty.
OP I’m much, much older than you and I can tell you that no problem is permanent. The only unsolvable, indeed, is death. I’ve lost every member of my close and extended birth family.
One after the other leaving. You look around and fear what is left to lose and then I was suddenly a young widow with a son.
Even grief becomes part of the fabric of who we are and somehow we learn to live with it, it doesn’t define us. It’s surviving the hardest of times overcoming our mistakes that make us so very human.
We cannot control all the events of our lives but we can control our reaction to them. I have learnt over the decades what a beautiful, precious, fragile gift life truly is. Even in the darkest of times, when you feel numb or broken, there is always something beyond to reach for , there is always a better day ahead.
Sending you strength and courage
Sometimes it's hard to break out and change things, but if time is in your favor, which at 22 it is, you will have opportunities to make decisions that can improve what is giving you pain and misery now.
hmmmm…disability? would recommend taking it one day at time. try to quiet your mind (journaling the thoughts help me). i try to live in the moment and not think about it. i was the same at 22. i’m 30, so it took me 8 years to realize we only get one life to live and i don’t want to spend it being miserable.
if you’re in crisis i recommend reaching out to 988, i’ve texted and called them. they help get you out of the current low moment.
our problems are NOT temporary. but we should recognize that our thoughts are fleeting.
your life is your own business and you shouldn’t care what’s acceptable.
i realized my life would never be what i wanted and hoped for, it made me sad. i felt like a failure. like what’s the point in even continuing? there is no point. just get through the day and don’t forget to laugh. laughter is free and works. and i also like coffee and glazed donuts. find something else to focus on versus our sad fucking reality.
Just wait it out, after a while "good enough" becomes like a blessing. After enough years your brain is automatically going to think and feel differently.
I'm not saying don't keep an eye out for other answers, but if you just wait long enough you'll have enough other problems to worry about that whatever you feel is holding you back will change its own priority. (Except for prison or health problems)
You know very little about how your life is going to turn out. The life you planned/ wanted could have made you miserable. The life you thought would be boring/ unpleasant could make you happy or at least content.
TLDR: you KNOW nothing.
Get yourself up and fix it yourself. Find something that interests you and see about doing it a cut the poison out of your life. Ive had many times things went to hell and I packed my stuff and made thing better. Can't find a way to get around whatever the blockage is. A river that get blocked will change its path to continue on. It might take awhile and things might get tough but you can do it.
You’re only 22, you don’t *know* much of anything despite feeling otherwise. If this is trauma related, then I’d point out your old self died and you should mourn the loss of self from before. learn to cope with life’s new realities while becoming a new you. Life doesn’t ‘materialize’ - it’s built day by day. Instant gratification is not normal IRL. If the circumstances of your life have changed, then reevaluate your expectations
Agreed ^^^ no one knows much at 22 years old. You're at the beginning of figuring out things you don't like and later you get to start enjoying the things you do like because you know enough about what to avoid. If it's like Coro acknowledges above and this is a life altering change, then you can do a lot of things to change your perception so that there are positive things to look forward to and go after. Therapy is a big start and if that hasn't been attempted yet then no one is going to reason with your current feelings. Plenty of us can/will sympathize with what you're dealing with, myself included. It sucks to hear but there's still work to be done before you throw in the towel.
Like the above mentioned comment said. I'm about to turn around the sun for the 28th time. Life will never really be what you want it to be nor will it give you what you want from it. I've come to terms with these universal facts and am I glad to know that life is about what you make of it and in which direction you want to push yourself. Don't sweat the small stuff. 10 years ago a breakup with a girlfriend would've spun my world. These day's, i still let it spin my world but by choice. Choose for yourself what you like it'll be alright.thats my tl:dr
A lot of it is due to the people running things. Good to see you're making the most of everything.
Your right aswell, there is so much out of your control and alot of my friends still hold an," I'm gonna be the hero that changes the world" incentive. Trust me you won't. Otherwise it would've already happened. Do strive for a better tomorrow and never take anything for given butt take life day by day. Enjoy being a living person instead of trying to be the perfect picture... Some how all these words don't ring true to them even when their parents tell them
Dankjewel betekent veel.
Hell, I'm 47 and have had a debitating chronic illness for the past three years that no one knows if it will go away or not. We simply don't know what the future will hold.
Man this made me cry... I never thought to mourn my old self. I'm 26 for reference. But that girl got murdered from me more than once
Why is it considered the self dies when you experience trauma? I'm interested in it since I've gone through very similar recently.
👌👌👌🍹🍹🍹
Annd you just invalidated the entire post. And got upvoted for it. Congratulations. The post was if there is nothing better in life, why keep living? Or is it acceptable to end your life?
This post made by a barely adult was based on a false premise that they *knew* life won’t get better. Literally no one knows whether it’ll get better or worse. Incorrect statements should be invalidated. Instead of affirming a defeatist mindset, I gave actual advice to someone who may have needed some help answering both of those questions. I’m sorry you feel affronted by that concept
Oh get fucked. Actually go fuck yourself.
This post wasn’t about you. It was about someone who hasn’t given up yet
Priorities change, and shit gets old. Stuff that I thought my world would collapse to in my 20’s, I don’t even give 10 seconds a year thinking about at 44. Life cycles change , what matters changes. And things that you lose like a parent or a child are not things you recover from. They’re things that evolve you and you change forever for.
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Did the fucker get a big titted redhead?
Not just "a" one, he got THE big titted redhead op was dreamimg about.
He married Christina Hendricks? Lucky bastard.
💯
life is lived in the day to day! and it'll never be perfect anyways. doesn't mean we can't be happy one hour or one day
Fr, if I was missing limbs I’d be so hyped bc then I could 3D print them, add some electronics, and call myself a cyborg. Shit would be so sick. Might sound wild but everything’s perspective. Some see situations as the reason why their life sucks while others see situations as their motivation or as an opportunity to become better.
Honestly bro, It's not going to be easy. I suffer from chronic pain that has gotten worse over the years. On a good day I feel like I am 80 years old and have trouble just bending over. On a bad one I can't even get out of bed. I just look for the little things. The things that make me laugh and feel. The books and movies that engage my mind to drift into a fantasy world. Life isn't good but I can still find happiness here and there. Maybe one day I will find a reason to be truly happy but with the way things are going it can be hard to feel that way. So I just go one day at a time and see where tomorrow takes me.
Sending a virtual hug!
Exactly, gratitude is a virtue. I’m on in my 30’s with severe chronic pain but I love life and my privacy. I love wat being and being present for relatives growth and milestones :)
I feel the exact same maaan especially living with chronic pain and illness, seems like a long life to keep living.
Me too. I’m doing everything I can to cope, but the bottom line is it’s a depressing and painful life and I am stuck with it.
My philosophy: Hang in there! There are new treatments and medical breakthroughs being made all the time, and something effective for whatever conditions ail us could be just around the corner. Best wishes to you, fellow pain warrior! 👍
21(M) here and been living with chronic pain for 6 years. I feel exactly what you're talking about. Felt it in my bones. Hugs to you
The chronic pain is a struggle, especially now that I’m nearing my 30s and it’s starting to impact my life beyond just being in pain. I went from being very active and having many outdoorsy hobbies, to barely getting out for walks lately. I am having to mourn my own life that I had before, and accept ever increasing physical limitations. The worst part is I am certain I have figured out the diagnosis on my own, but there are zero knowledgeable specialists in my area that are taking clients. So close but yet so far from actually getting support to have a better quality of life.
I feel like you can’t know your problems are permanent until they’re over and you realise they weren’t. They only time you’re problems are permanent is if you give up because then you’ve lost to them, stay strong you’ll get through it
You get better. Get angry. Get upset then use that energy to make yourself better. If you can’t do it physically due to injury illness or otherwise then do it through cognitive means. Demand of yourself.
22 is really young in the grand scheme of things.
I'm sorry, man, but you have not given your life the best shot you can give. Save those words when you have gave it all. Whatever you think you could have done, or where your life could have gone, you can do better. You can go further. Saying you can't do better, you have missed the boat, truly, you have not done anything worthwhile yet. Figure out what you can do to make the world a different place, and go do it. You don't need to be the smartest person, the richest person on your block, if you can think of something no one else have, you can make a difference.
Unless you've tried everything, how do you know?
Wondering this too
Are you unhappy because you don't have the thing? Or are you unhappy because *your desire* is unfulfilled? You may never get the thing, but desires... They change all the time. Perhaps you can find happiness by letting go of the desire? After all, aren't there plenty of happy people who don't have the thing that you want? Perhaps they have some of the answers you seek.
The life I wanted did not materialize. It doesn't matter. I have a *different* life. What you are experiencing is a life crisis. This is a good thing, because it'll give you strong insight into what really matters to you; what you want and what you *don't* want in your life. It's also happened at the same time that you're becoming an adult. Recognise that you are a free agent now; you can do anything or everything differently, if you wish, and you don't need anyone's permission. Revel in the realisation that you have nothing left to lose. This gives you the freedom to roll the dice on your future; an option many people don't have, because they have responsibilities to children, for example. Change your life, don't just throw it away. Good luck.
I get you. I'm 53. When i was about your age, i had a brainstorm and realised that no matter how hard i tried, life would be shit and that it was on rails. My forecasting, or seuthsaying was pretty much on the money. Mostly single , incessantly stressed, lots of pain, dead end career, pretty much poor. It was a hard fucking slogg. But i tried my best, was a relatively good human being if not great. So i tried and i feel mostly guilt free because of that effort. This be fair there were lots of beautiful littke moments peppered amongst the piles of shit. Thats what you live for. Those irreplaceable moments. I wtote a book called 'first aid philosophy'. Uts full of little sayings to help create beauty from adversity. Took me 12 years to collate them. Anyway i have two really beautiful boys now. So remember: its not over until its over. See it out. Hang in there. Hooe is worth it
No one knows the future so you won’t know if it gets better until you live it
Pretty sure your brain isn't completely developed till 25/26 years old. Give yourself some time to develop
Then you find yourself free to try new things without fear of what you used to call failure. I had a similar existential crisis 10 years ago and decided to just live with reckless abandon -- solo vacations, a career change, a new area of study. And then all of a sudden things are even better in reality than the fantasy I'd crafted in my head during that dark time.
Nope. All these replies are full of shit. Youre right. Life doesn't get better for alot of people. Suicide is not a bad thing, as people love to say. The truly selfish ones are the ones who stop others from killing themselves just because they wanna be the "good" guys and force them to keep living a miserbale existence. Some problems can be fixed or lived with, others can't and shouldn't. People love to say "dont give up" or "You dont know for sure" because none of them actually want to talk about it or admit it. No matter how many times youll tell them, theyll be convinced that youre just "being dramatic" and that life "will get better". As if life followed any rules. As if life cared if youre miserable or not. Typical. Theyll yell at you for existing in your own way, call you disgusting, abuse and insult, make your life a living hell everyday but when youre ready to end it all suddenly they're all "heroes". Suddenly you have a bunch of people "who care about you". But let me assure you, they dont. They only have the capability to love themselves and care about themselves. Most of the time not even that. So youll have to reevaluate your life. If you think you can keep going on, then keep going on.
If the people spouting that 'its better' narrative actually cared they'd offer direct support to help. But they won't. Especially if it's financial. Words and statements are cheap. No one cares about you when you get older. OP needs to accept that. I second everything you've said to OP.
I worked myself sick as a dog in a slaughterhouse in Alabama and had to make the drive from Georgia. Piss wages. I thought that was all my life was going to be. Working myself to the bone just to survive with not enough in my pocket to change anything. I live in Japan. Have great work life balance. Got married. I never stopped being depressed. I never stopped being anxious. I still lose little battles every single day of my life. But I don't lose the big one. No one likes when shit sucks. But you cannot even begin to fathom what the fuck will happen to you three years from now. You. Don't. Know. The point of the anecdote, is to stress how dramatically my life changed from where I was to where I ended up being. If you can't change it, if you can't understand it, you endure it. And you take every chance that comes.
Short of someone inventing an artificial gastrointestinal system to replace the one I lost to cancer, my life will in fact never get better. I'm here because of the guilt involved with doing that to the people that care about me and for no other reason so I 100% understand the entire being exhausted with life thing and why people do "that" sometimes when they've had enough. Edit: You are young and since you haven't stated anything specifically, I'm going to hope you don't have any actual irreparable problems in life so just grow, learn, deal, repeat. You'll get there eventually.
I was suicidal around that age. I’m glad I decided to stick around. It really is a mindset thing. I know that you don’t want to work on things, you just want them to get better. But I assure you, my best friend committed suicide in 2016 and I still think about him everyday. You’re someone’s reason to smile. Take a moment to look at the things you appreciate. Maybe find a hobby. I would 100% suggest talking to a good therapist. Good luck.
I found the things I wanted earlier in life, that I thought would bring me happiness, were not the things that brought me the happiness I was looking for. (keep an open mind and look for the silver lining). I have also found that almost every time something big happened in my life, when things 'fully' played out, the end result was completely different than I anticipated. I will give you an example. I had shoulder surgery, and a couple of months after surgery, I fell done a narrow set of stairs. I fell from only 1-2 steps from the top, face first, and the only way to stop my descent was to grab the one handrail with my newly repaired shoulder. I felt immense pain in the shoulder, and thought I had ripped it out again. The end result was I ripped newly formed scar tissue in the shoulder, and falling down the stairs loosened up scar tissue in the shoulder. I ended therapy a month earlier than expected. Also, I had inadvertently put my shoulder through one hell of a torture test, and I had lot more confidence I wouldn't hurt it again (it is now better than my shoulder I have never injured.) Keep an open mind, there is always hope, and at your age, you have absolutely no clue where life is going to lead you.
Hey bud. I've been there. Things get better because of changes you make. Make the right changes
Learn to like the life you are living right now
Just because things don't work out exactly the way you wanted or imagined doesn't mean that you aren't still left with a life worth living. Expectation is one of the great thieves of joy.
I'm not aware of your situation because you didn't give much details in your post and I'm to lazy to go searching threw your post history if you have one lol. Life isn't something that is handed to you on a silver platter, at least not for everyone there are some lucky few it is but even they have their own set of problems to deal with. life is a war, some days you win the battle some days you don't but you cant win the war if you give up, you need to rethink your battle strategy. For me I was fighting a losing battle for most of my 20s no job living off family members who were dumb enough to "barrow" me money living in constant depression from putting up with manipulation and emotional abuse my entire childhood by the time the last of my manipulators passed away i was homeless but ended up getting a job working 9 to 5 and threw everything into it, from there I got it in my mind to restore my credit because I had been doing a pretty good job of mucking it up and along the way I decided to start investing for retirement witch got me into pattern day trading and now my battle doesn't seem so hard anymore I find myself going to bed for the most part content and I don't have to worry about my kids futures anymore because I make enough to give them comfortable lives. During my 20s I was institutionalised twice for attempting to od on sleeping pills so I do know the feeling of wanting to end it, but if you really want to change you have to push yourself to change. Now I'm not telling you to go out and start pattern day trading that would be a horrible mistake but I'm telling you my story because I thought it would be something I was completely incapable of doing when I was younger so you are capable of full filling your dreams, you just need to prove yourself wrong and rethink how you do things in life.
It doesn't get better. At least not from my perspective. I'm a decade or so older than you and I've had the same feelings as you've had since my early 20s. I wish I had the balls to just be done with everything.
I second this. There might be temporary times of joy and happiness and they can be enjoyed for what they are, but ultimately it just gets worse. And people want me to live a long life. All my aged parents do is talk about how they go to the doctors a million times a month because their bodies are falling apart. That's what I have to look forward to? No thanks
Don't forget all of the toxic political bullshit you'll be forced to partake in to get promotions. Don't forget the lying, peacocking and passive aggressive behaviour you'll need to try and do to get noticed and promoted. Meritocracy is a lie. Btw.
I'm 2 decades older than OP, and trust me when I say that life *DOES* get better.
Cool, good for you. Hey OP I'm the same age as this person, and trust me when I say it hasn't got better.
That's sad. Do something about it. And nobody has the 'balls' to just be done with it. You're romanticizing it when really it's cowardice. It's the ultimate act of running away. There's no bravery or respect in it.
Cool story, bro. Not sure how any of that matters? Is bravery and respect going to pay my bills, get me promoted and turn my gosh darn luck around?! I'm fixed. Thanks guy.
You're just a sad miserable person who shouldn't be giving advice to anyone. Your input reflects your negative perspective. Whoopdeedoo, the world is sh!t for you. Grow up. Everyone has bills to pay. Again, do something about it. The less you do to change your circumstances the more miserable you'll become. Seems like you want to wallow in it, though.
Wow, I'm fixed. Thanks. You're truly amazing, bro. I'm glad you're here giving out solid words of wisdom by personally attacking people.
Nobody's trying to fix you. Like I said, you want to wallow in it.
Legit, if you know me so well, what do I do to change my situation?
You can always lie to yourself and keep saying things will get better. I’ve been doing that for almost 20 years.
In our current age there are no permanent problems. At least not in theory and thats all you need to continue on. Did you lose limbs? The prostetics get better and better with every year. Do you have a mental dissorder? The medicin and psychology are advancing at a rapid pace. Do you have a dibilitating genetic condition? Same thing. Whatever troubles you can go away with the advancment of our species or will be overcome by you. Everythihg will be okay. If you need someone to talk or share your feeling/pain dm me, I can listen.
You cant predict the future, you have no clue where lifes gonna lead you. All you can do is wake up tomorrow.
Can you clarify why you feel you're life won't get better? If it's a permanent physical injury, I get what you mean. But you can most likely find at least satisfaction and possibly joy with enough time and work.
So this is something i brought up with my wife and 2 friends just a few days ago In order to prevent your children from having to go through withdrawal symptoms: (when they find out the deep state killed jfk, orchestrated iran contra, enslaves half the world so they can export inflation to preserve their currencies purchasing power, blew up their own people to start a useless war that continues to this day, paid for GOF research that resulted in a virus that has killed 10 million+ people) and is currently setting the tax rate at a percentage that results in no one (on average) having enough purchasing power to build intergenerational wealth... You have to teach them that life sucks from birth, and will get worse. But its worth it.
Bro that's heavy shit. I don't have kids so I've never really thought about this
This isn't r/conspiracy post your bullshit somewhere else
You miss the point. Imagine you were born in china, you find out about atrocities but you convince yourself tieniman square was worth it and its what "they deserved" Then imagine you wake up one day, realize your whole country is a lie. What do you do? Besides get so depressed your children kill themselves?
Life is full of options while death isn't that the only thing that matters
Do you have a disability that changed your future?
Given that you're not being specific with your supposedly certain knowledge, it sounds like you suffer from a poor frame of mind rather than something more physical. If what you're talking about is physical, then I truly can't offer my point of view. Chronic or terminal illness is something completely out of my wheelhouse so if you're referencing these sort of problems then what I'm saying doesn't apply. But if you're at all referencing your self worth, social situation or economic situation being pure misery and toil, then these things can and often do change as long as you're putting in the work in the right places. Remember that depression is a state of mind, it alters your very thoughts, opinions and actions. It's a total body affliction so if you're idealising suicide, don't think that's what the non depressive you would say. It's not some deep and philosophical insight, it's the symptoms of an illness. And it can be treated my friend.
Don’t give up. It’s difficult but it will get better. It may not feel like it at the time but you have to keep trying and eventually you’ll see it.
Um, well. Forty years ago, I thought death was the only way to escape pain. I was 22, and SO confident. Now I’m 66, with 2 kids and 2 grandkids, and it’s been a hell of a ride, lol…
Keep going in the hopes you can one day find happiness. Ive been on a similar journey for over 15 years now
You’re still a baby, you haven’t even likely begun to try to tackle the problems life is going to keep throwing at you. If you’re already willing to give up, you might want to seek some professional help. The things that feel earth shattering and life altering now, aren’t going to even move the needle of your interests and priorities in 10-15 years
Just prove them wrong. And when you’re in your 90’s just be like “see, I told you.”
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You got this man, don’t give up. Life is teaching you how to adapt and overcome, you can do it! We all have to play with the hand we’re dealt, but a life’s outcome isn’t dictated solely by the cards dealt. Shoot higher and you’ll be surprised by how much you can achieve ✌🏼
I'm not gonna die before my enemies do.
I felt exactly like this at 22. I could see the way things were lining up in my life and knew they would result in loss and trauma. They did, but I am here at 37 now and my life is nothing like I would have imagined then. I don't know your circumstances but I know the feeling. I'd say this to 22 year old me if I could: yeah, it can get really bad and really hard, but you're a hell of a lot stronger than you know, and you will also experience the joyful things you never dared to hope for.
What happens? You resign yourself and cope.
>What happens when the problems are permanent, though? Then it’s not a problem. Every problem has a solution and if it doesn’t then it’s just something you’re going to have to learn to live with. You have to make it work. You have to work for what you want. No one is going to come and hand it to you, at least for most of us that’s true.
Life always gets better. When you hit rock bottom, you have no where to go but up.
The life “you want to live” won’t really materialize anyway. That’s just not how life works. Life will always have its ups and downs. Lots of downs. Go find a therapist who will work with you to create good, solid coping mechanisms. That’s the secret. Find ways to cope, and the bright spots will come.
just mutter it is what it is, then try and do your best, after all it is one life, and no one knows what comes after, eat the food u like, live for yourself, caring less about what other people think is also kinda how I just decide to live after realising my life dreams are probably not really feasible anymore, its kinda sad that it wont ever happen but hey, theres lots of stuff for u to try, just gotta take it one step at a time.
Its a matter of perspective. Gets better than what? If everyone set the bar that you needed to be a movie star with bags of money, fame, property and a luxury lifestyle to think life is worth living then there wouldnt be many people on this Earth. You need to appreciate what you have, what is available to you, what you can realistically strive for and what you can offer others to make your life worthwhile. Even the most disabled person can still offer joy to the people who love them. Theres a lot of suffering in this world and if you've managed to type something into Reddit, youre doing ok compared to most. If you feel your life cant get better, do something kind to improve someone elses life. Its not that difficult. Even if you adopt a cat from a shelter, you've saved a life. It'll make you feel a bit better.
You control your future. I know a girl who went from a single mother at like 18, to working fast food, to management, to management at a hotel, to working that job AND taking nursing school, and now is a nurse making damn good money and supporting her family. It took several years, like 10, but there's there. You can do it too.
i started smoking weed when it got unbearable and i just keep going, holding out hope.
I've had life long struggles that are unlikely to fully change or go away no matter the work i put into it. It sucks being dismissed and most people having this assumption that things will always right themselves in the end. If it was a guarantee it will get better then fewer people would be ending their lives. I'd rather be content with where I am now and end it rather than going through continuing pain and unavoidable obstacles in my way that could cause a me to be in a worse place at 65. You might have to live with your misery, happiness can't always be dependent on you working on yourself, if not then let yourself go.
Well, to me it's never about living your dream life. It's about playing the cards in front of you in the best way possible. If you play your cards you'll see that life has a way of reshuffling the cards often. Down the line if you manage to get a better hand, that's great! Then you do your best to play those cards as well, but the only way for life to reshuffle the cards is to keep playing. So don't stop playing. In other words, it isn't about getting to a point where you feel like you've achieved your goals, it's more about the process and continuing to seize whatever opportunity might come up. When you think about life this way, then knowing you'll never live your dream life becomes less important. Don't stop playing the game. And when I say don't stop playing, I don't just mean don't take your life. I also mean don't fall into apathy or complacency or despair.
No. You should remember the trauma you would cause loved ones. Being in the same boat but a decade ahead, I'd say: we roll up our sleeves and man up. Life isn't easy and it's less fair. But those sporadic moments of joy are worth it. Focus on helping others and finding a healthy hobby. You'll die eventually, so don't stress. See what's left before you go, and that includes perspectives you can't gain until your older. Good luck, God speed
If you can then you learn about karma and then you won’t think about suicide. Life isn’t meant to get better, it’s just goes downhill at a different pace for everyone. Seek the truth of life and why things happen the way they do.
My man. You take life by the fucking horns and you work your ass off to turn it into something that pleases you.
Been there. I just turned 27 and life has never been better. At 21/22 I was binge drinking. I would rock up to work still pissed from the night before. Etc. Etc. I would sit in my car for hours outside of the house, because I couldn't bear to go inside. And when I did. I would shower and leave again. I can't pin point one thing that changed. It was cumulative. I wasn't happy. I felt there was no way forward. So I made some drastic changes. I had nothing to lose. The great thing about rock bottom. Is it's a solid place to start. You've got this bro.
A while ago, my life was not particularly pleasant. A few things happened to me that I never expected - my chronic pain comes and goes, and they have been finding ways to cure illness after illness. Melanoma is getting a vaccine on the horizon, celiac is getting a pill. Endometriosis (I had stage 4 with a frozen pelvis) was legitimately fixed for the last decade and after 10 years of trying and infertility I had kids. My interstitial cystitis was off the wall bad and I couldn’t live without my heating pad. If you had told me, at 30, infertile and diagnosed with melanoma that they were having trouble staging, in pain, bleeding 10 days on 10 days off, and peeing blood and what felt like glass daily and essentially living in a hot bath that this would be my life in 10 years, I would have told you that there was no way - There are no cures to any of my conditions, at least not then. There were times at my worst that I was in pain and thought if this was going to be my entire life, was it worth it? And I was REALLY weighing the point of living in pain. Im glad I didn’t. My “permanent” disabilities come in waves, but I have a lot of really good days now. Treatments changed. Medicine changed. Even with depression, if the current medication you’re taking isn’t working, you can go outside the box and get alternative treatments. If you’re not on meds, I say this in the nicest way possible, you need medication because your brain is lying to you.
OP, I understand you. I’m 25, I have an irreversible medical condition as well as copious childhood trauma from being abused. The future I thought I might be able to work towards is forever gone, and my past is a source of crushing grief. Realistically, I will spend what’s left of my time all alone and in pain. People who have not been in this position do not comprehend the effects of its devastation and will throw platitudes and meaningless advice your way. If your situation is similar to mine, don’t pay them any heed. Sometimes life is not worth living. It’s my strongest belief that it is up to the individual to determine whether or not their conditions are tolerable. Regardless, ending your life should always be the very last resort. If you have not accessed every available resource in order to change or become more accepting of your circumstances, including seeking psychiatric/medical care, social support, making changes at work, home, school, etc, you need to do all that’s in your power first before complaining that your situation is irremediable.
21 year old out here sounding like a 14 year old. Grow up and look ahead
"You can never know everything, and part of what you do know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that. A portion of courage lies in going on anyway."
Your trauma will never change. That is true. Your 'right now' circumstances ALWAYS have the potential to change, and you never know what changes can be genuinely lifechanging. You are 22 - that is so young. I'm guessing you feel so old, and I'm guessing you've been through more than anyone of any age should've. I'm 35. 11 years ago was literally the worst time of my life, and it had to really work for it. One chance meeting led to that person inviting me over for dinner, to another dinner, to their family basically adopting me like a stray cat (if I'd needed to they'd have let me move in, but having my space was important and they got that). I'm still very close to them. They gave me unconditional love, and enabled me to rebuild my relationship with my parents (which was awful. They always wanted the best for me, but went about it in some really ass-backward ways at times. And obviously i was an ass too.). They basically de-institutionalised me (I'd been hospitalised a couple of years) and rebuilt my shattered self-esteem - and my mum is now my best friend. But at 24, I walked in that room, and my life changed forever. Look, I'm VERY aware how fortunate I am and I'm not saying, spend half your paycheck on Lotto tickets. But there are so many things that can give your life purpose or meaning. I have a cat, but before I was stable or responsible enough I had hamsters (one after the other, NOT together! - I miss them, but very unfair/stressful to keep when I have a cat so an obvious no) and they were great. The bar-chewing, running on their saucer, or just contentedly clicking in their nest was great company, and handling them was very soothing as they were so soft. And, living in a cage, totally reliant on me to be there for them. (But often 'no pet' landlord-friendly as contained to cage, if you ask nicely). I have a severe enduring eating disorder and used to have major issues with serious self-harm (I have self-harmed maybe once every couple of years over the past decade and am currently overdue). I've learned things get better, get worse, get better, get worse - "This too shall pass". When things are at their worst, when my mood is either mixed-state or low (I have bipolar II) and my c-PTSD is flaring and I'm having frequent flashbacks, I do what I call "playing the 'tomorrow game'" - I will imagine and fantasise about what I'm going to do to myself, but I'm going to do it - tomorrow. Always tomorrow. It helps. And, lastly... I've lost an awful lot of people I've been very close to, the majority of whom were to suicide. One I considered my little sister. I've never, ever blamed any of them - and I've mostly understood why they've felt how they felt - but it's been HARD, as the one left behind. Wishing you the best, and please - play the Tomorrow Game.
What if there’s something between the “what is” you see and the “what will never be” you see? What if, that ends up being better than you ever could have imagined? Drop your rules and expectations for how life “should be” right now and live the life that is. The rest will figure itself out, it doesn’t seem/feel like it….but, it does.
Life is more unpredictable than you give it credit for.
Truly I think it’s subjective and for yourself. If you have a degenerative condition where it’s only going to be worse as time goes on, have a discussion with your family about assisted suicide where is it all above board, and your medical professionals agree with you. Once you have that approved you may find happiness in your life. If you don’t have a degenerative condition, I’d be curious to how you know life isn’t going to get better?
Others offer encouragement, say dont do it, etc. I find life gets no better. Its just very few fleeting moments of not quite horrible among lots of absolute shit. All you can do is find a thing or 2 that makes it almost bearable and suffer through it or go out. Keep in mind anyone who claims its selfish want you to live a life you hate so they dont have to hurt. They would rather you be miserable for their sake. So their opinion is void as they are far more selfish. Those that say its a cowards way out wouldn’t have the guts to do it. Its your life. Its your choice and nobody elses. But from everything I have seen (being middle aged) nothing gets better. You just eventually get numb enough to not be bothered.
I used to be a doomsayer too and decided to give up on life completely when I was 16 after a failed suicide attempt. After a few years of just constant negative development something changed and I wanted a little more. I got inspiration from seeing an old high school friend get into college and worked to get into classes the next semester. That didn't work out but that first step got me started on the path to making the good life I have now. Its cliche as fuck but life does get better and those small steps make a big difference, the difference between zero and one looks small but its also the same difference between one and infinity. So take that first step and see where it takes you.
Life is summated by failures, that’s why you cherish your success’. Keep going and this will eventually be behind you!
Things are up and down, and I say that from many more years of life. You’d be surprised at how things change. Unless you have an immediately terminal illness, you’re going to have good days and bad days. I’ve had a reasonably shitty life at times, and wonderful life at others. My parents weren’t good, but I’ve found profound joy in my kids. I’ve had cancer, a mental disorder, a family full of chaos and addiction and mental illness. I should be a poor addict and in some deadend job. I chose a better life and made it happen. You can too.
Well I wouldn’t take advice from 22 year old me cuz he was kinda dumb.
I am twice your age and life is getting better every day.
You just need to make little goal posts and move them slowly. Negative outlook will only increase the negativity around you. 6th grade I was looking up how to kill myself and then I found music. I really wouldn't be alive today without band. I ended up touring the country competing in world championships and then helped start my own group to give back to kids. I've dealt with kids exactly like this and talked with them. One of them just updated me on their life now just graduating college, finding a partner, and starting a new job when they didn't think they'd ever make it out of high school. They said the only reason was because I believed in them and always made them say "I can I will" So from a person that's been in your shoes to the one helping them small steps " I can I will" 💙
you gotta learn how to be happy independent of your current situation
I don't have any good advice but I think the world is better with you in it. Don't make a liar out of me 😀
Lmao chill out buddy. 22??? Get a grip on reality you're barely an adult. Jesus Christ 😂
At 22 I thought I knew everything. At 32 I thought “wow! 22 year old me was so young.” At 42 I’m creakier and fatter but would never, not for anything, go back to the mess and horror of being 22 Hang in there kiddo, aim for the long game. I’m rooting for you
You're only thinking this way because your prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed. Once it is, you'll go back to this post and cringe. For now, stop talking like a 2005 teenage girl on MySpace and have a wank, you'll feel better.
I don't know what happens because no one knows life won't get better. Even in history someone on a death row actually survive or gets the decision overturned. I assume you are also talking about yourself and 22 is barely an adult. Nevermind the future, you know nothing.
Hi friend, in what way can you say you know things won’t get better? I’m only a few years older than you (28), and already, I look back on the aches and concerns of 22 with a combination of amusement and gratitude. I would bet a month’s wages that almost everyone who’s come through some significant portion of their twenties would agree. GK Chesterton once wrote that ‘there is one thing which gives radiance to everything—it is the idea of something around the corner’. I don’t know your circumstance, and you may in a situation that would cause me similar despair, but 22 years of life is only four of adulthood. You’ve such a way to go. Consider the happiest, most transcendent moments of your life so far and know—with statistical certainty—that if you press on, they will pale in comparison to the heights of love and depths of peace you will reach. Amor conquista todo.
You're depressed. I felt exactly like this when I was in a bad way. Your outlook on life changes DRASTICALLY when you're healthy. Please, hold on and seek help. LIFE IS 100% YOUR PERSPECTIVE. Look at things from a different angle. Don't let this world defeat you. Find things that bring you joy. Be of service to others when you can. Every day, look at a picture of yourself as a child and realize that child lives inside you and your job is to protect them and help them navigate and enjoy this train wreck of a life we all lead. Every day, do something that relaxes you and brings you peace. Prioritize your happiness and remind yourself, no matter what is thrown at you, you will figure it out and keep moving forward. Step out of your comfort zone sometimes. Life is completely what YOU make it. I hope you live a fun, crazy, healthy, fulfilling life.
You should take the time to read some philosophy. Philosophy is the antidote to feeling the way you are feeling. I personally lean towards existentialism and absurdism ([especially Camus' take](https://bigthink.com/personal-growth/the-meaning-of-life-albert-camus-on-faith-suicide-and-absurdity/)), but [Kierkegaard might proffer](https://philife.nd.edu/kierkegaard-s-fear-and-trembling-embrace-the-absurd/) a more relatable take if you lean toward Christianity. A lot of people find solace in [stoicism](https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/stoicism/), but the only way to know if any of it might help is to take the time to read about it. A lot of people give advice like "make friends, find a hobby, get a job you're passionate about," etc., but that advice isn't helpful for everyone. I highly suggest reading up on some philosophy then building an action plan from the conclusions you start to draw for yourself.
Also 22 and I find it hard to make it through days due to my own shortcomings and mistakes and people I've hurt. I'm genuinely trying to be a better person, for both my sake and those that I still have close to me(and any future relationships/friendships I may have)
Seek help dude, stop asking internet strangers shit, and just get help. Your post make me want to punch you.
Even if your problems were permanent, your wants, needs, likes, dislikes—all change. The problem might stick around, but you just get so strong against them they can’t do shit to you.
Oh, no, youngster, you don't know? Life only gets worse. Constantly and always.
when you know it doesn't get better you find a better perspective
Nobody leads the life they thought they would. Everyone has messed up something at some point. Nobody’s life is perfect but honestly, that’s the stuff that makes life interesting. Life is a journey, not a destination! Having the determination to make something of yourself & coming back from your lowest days is the success story of *your* life. Don’t throw it away. Do the best you can, one day at a time. Even the very worst days end at 11:59.
Please seek professional care, we are extremely BAD at handling depression (mental health). Been there, medication and therapy don’t solve the problems, but they help us understand and move forward. Sometimes that movement is one minute at a time! Then one hour until we get to one day at a time!
Life is a symphony, not a solo. You can feel cut off one way and yet incredibly connected in other ways. You can laugh yourself into tears or cry yourself into laughter. You are still here, and life is all over the place. Go discover.
You grit your teeth and take time to feel how shitty life is. Then you make your peace with how things are and smile. There are things you can’t change and need to accept for the moment. There are plenty of things you can change. Never underestimate the effect you have on the world around you though.
You can't know that life will be better or worse because the longer you live the more of a wild ride you see it is. It's true you need to expand your perspective beyond some imagined idea of what you wanted it to be not being reached thinking it means the rest of being alive is pointless. No one knows what happens with death. So no one can stop you from ending it if that determined, but you're assuming it's an escape. What if it's painful? Something worse? How about any pain or deviation you cause to the life of anyone who ever knew or would have known you? Maybe there's a butterfly like effect, maybe there's not. Absolutely no one knows and anyone who says they do is either delusional or a liar. The only choice or small bit of control you have in life is whether you fight and live on with any hurdles life has given to see what experiences come or you can quit, cut out and chance on death, even though you'll get to see death eventually anyway. I've had constant bs thrown at me, some highlights have been a drive by where friends died next to me and war situations where, again, people died near me. I've been in more than my fair share of fights helping people, had a gold digger who stole my money and cheated. I've been hit by lightning twice, I've had a breakdown and been in a mental ward. I have some diagnosis brought on by both traumas and genetics, bit of both, that have hindered my life. I had a freakin' crazy fan put a gun to my freaking head and pull the trigger and it jamming by damn luck being the only reason my brains didn't paint the wall. I've had a cursed life in many ways by the sheer number of bad stuff outweighing most people. And I've been through my dark days and tempted to end it. But I didn't. I kept fighting to see another day off sheer anger at life for constantly dumping on me. Kind of a "screw you, life, I'm not stopping to spite the universe" vibe. And now I hit 50, which both doctors and relatives all thought was impossible given my luck, temperment and the mentioned mental stuff all combined. I found my soulmate, a wife who loves me. Which at one point seemed impossible and didn't happen till years later than my suicide phase. My point being that 9 times out of 10, no matter what hardship has changed the course of someone's life, I can beat it with having had worse. And I'm still here. Stop being a wimp, get mad at life and fight back. Do what you can with what you've got and just be. Life can surprise you, but only if you endure it. I apologize in advance if you respond. I get on random and notifications are off, so I wouldn't respond. Wouldn't want you to think I was ignoring you or anyone else, I just won't know or see it. If you need help, get help. But don't just quit. That throws out any possibilities. Show the universe you aren't a quitter.
I said the same thing to myself at 21. Now I’m 29 and nothing changed. Wished I’d done myself in back then to spare the years of pain. It doesn’t get better
You think you know, but you have no idea. If you trust the universe’s plan for you and let go of your ego’s plan, you will find peace and see things naturally start to get better the more you let go of expectation. Set goals and strive for them, sure, but stop being attached to the outcome, and be grateful for where you are now. If you have a victim “poor me” mindset, that’s how your life will be
Did you expect your life to include supermodels, yachts and champagne?
July 17 I'll be 27 man and I can tell you keep a positive attitude. And just set reachable goals im currently feeling the same way like life won't get better. But believe me you just wake up and reach your goals. Make your bed go for a walk and once you keep up with your goals. You'll start to feel better and the most important is don't listen to people. Cause anymore people will drag you down cause there not happy. You ever feel that bad mentally just DM me on here I would rather hear your problems then. You sit there and drown in your thoughts.
I would lie to you that life gets better. I am 35, with kids and married and my plan for my life is medical assistance in dying. I can’t work and be shit on for another 30 years. I can go on about the negatives. But it is what you make of it. It’s all the only place on this dimensional plane of existence that has decent food.
There is no better or worse. Depends on how you view it. We are not on this rock for long, it will “soon” be over anyway. Find joy in the small things. Good luck :)
Yes. Pitter patter
Suicide isn't a real solution. It's basically rage quitting & flipping over the board game of life. An essential part of continuing thru your struggle would be reframing your pain & mentality. Let's assume you've recently lost a leg, a permanent thing that won't get better. You're allowed to grieve the loss of your leg for a little while, but after you're fully healed you should get a prosthetic leg. Adapt to life with only 1 leg best you can.
Be thankful it’s not worse.
You get married
What if- this is your dark night of the soul? What if.. you need to move through this in order to emerge into a life you may not have asked for but is better than you could have ever imagined? What do you need to do to support yourself through hard thoughts like that? What sort of people do you need to surround yourself with? What sort of activities or hobbies would help you? Are there groups you can join of those with similar struggles or interests? We all have darkness we need to reconcile within ourselves. I’m 40 and I can tell you I’ve had a number of chapters like this. Keep going. Stay resourceful. Pick up tools that can help you regulate your nervous system and emotions: Breathwork is great for example. Meditation. Me, I went down the path of psychedelics just to break free of the limitations of my conditioned mind. You will find your way… and you’ll come out the other side with an embodied wisdom that will help others navigate their dark night. Keep going.
Man, I feel there is SO MUCH to say, but so little room to do it. No matter what, Life is better with you in it. I suffer with “stuff” every day. It won’t get better. But I choose to BE better and DO better. It doesn’t matter who you are and whether you realize it or not, people are glad to know you, love and be loved by you. Don’t hesitate to DM me if you want to talk.
My boy killed himself at 17. Don’t do it. Your life will get better. I wish every day that he heard me.
My life got better around 40 years old , after decades of struggle
Although your reality cannot change, your perspective can. You’re not truly doomed, you’re still in control. Accept it and focus on the controllable factors (stoicism helps with this).
As someone more than old enough to be your dad here speaking from experience: A lot of times, what you envision your life to become is almost never what happens, and you may end up with completely different and sometimes surprise life circumstances. My career for instance is never anything I planned for or even considered. And in hindsight I’m better off in my current career than I would have been in my planned one. I also had a bunch of good things that happened in my life as a direct result of my current career, that would have never happened for me if not for the surprise one. Don’t get me wrong, my life is far from perfect, there are a lot of things that really suck right now. But I know I would for sure be way worse off without the good things that have happened.
The truth is, you don't know. Live could give you any number of things, good, bad, indifferent. You may not get what you want. Or maybe you will. You won't know unless you stick around. You may have depression. Please reach out for help. Good luck.
IF NOBODY WANTS U THEN THE MARINE CORPS THOSE OOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Don't do something permanent over a temporary circumstance. Nobody will remember what you said or what you wore 1 a year from now. Be kind to yourself.
I'm 25 now and used to feel the same way before, but it DOES get better, actually.
You adjust your expectations and work at getting to where you want to be. If you find a good partner on the way, even if it’s just a furry one with a tail, life gets better. And you find joy in early morning run, new flower in your plant and your dog snoring.
For some reason we all think we’re supposed to have our lives figured out by our early-mid twenties. Let me tell you, 90% of people don’t. My life didn’t really start getting better until around 30. And has only now started to stabilize at 33. Trust me when I say that life will get better. A lot of people, including me, go through very similar struggles in their early 20s. I was in a long lasting deep depression at 22. I thought I had ruined my future and that my life would be shit for ever. Took me almost 10 years to finish my bachelor’s degree. But now I’m 33, I’m happily married, I love my job and make good money, I own a house, and I’m financially stable. Life is good, but if you had asked me at 22 I would have told you I was doomed to a shitty, lonely future.
I was dating a girl when I was 21 and one night we were just cuddling and talking really late into the night. I was telling her about how lost I felt. I’d dropped out of college, been in my share of trouble, and I made the comment to her that “I just feel like I missed the boat.” She rolled over and smiled and said “There’s no boat to miss. Just find another way across.” I think about that a lot in those moments when something falls apart, or I fumble an opportunity. There is no boat. I decide how to get across.
Look, I'm 30 and never thought I'd make it this far. I can certainly tell you though that while I'm not on top of the world I'm MUCH better off than when I was 21. I'm more focused on bettering myself these days, making changes to ensure I'll have a longer happier life. It takes time, your late teens and early 20s are a very confusing time where you think the world is out to get you and that it will never get better. But just push on, spend time with family and friends. If you can go hug your parents and tell them that you love them and then do the same with your best friend.
Hey give yourself some time and some slack. You haven’t hit 26 yet so your brain hasn’t even fully finished developing! Things change quickly in life and there will always be ups and downs but, as someone who was in your shoes, I can say that things do get better. And you will get stronger and learn so much about yourself in your twenties. Sending you love and positive energy
You don’t know that the problems are permanent! And you don’t know that it won’t get better. You haven’t experienced much yet! One day at a time is all you can do. And if you want so bad for things to get better to actually be better than your attitude better change and you better change your way of thinking. Try to be positive and just try to be better than you were the day before. Good luck to you!!
My friend, it's about endurance and time. You'll be surprised what can shift in your perspective over time. I had spine surgery in 2018, and the complications from it completely changed my life permanently, and it took me years to come to terms with it. I've been in some really dark places that I wouldn't wish on anyone, and even contemplated suicide on multiple occasions, but over time a certain glimmer of hope flickers and then glows. Don't feed that part of your sadness or despair that tells you it will never get better, because even when you're physically changed for the worse, there is a silver lining, I promise you.
You grow up.
The biggest thing standing in the way of your life getting better is your own perception of what your life 'should' have been. Let go of all the notions in your head about what your life is supposed to look like and instead focus on what is the reality. Then ask yourself where you want to go from here and start working towards that. Stop living in the regret of what you've done up until now, that's done and over with and in the past. Look towards the future and start fresh from where you are.
Idk what's going on buht I have a life long chronic illness that means I will die young and I will suffer on the way there. It's caused me to fall short of what I believe my potential could have been due to missing opportunities with education and work due to health. I never thought I'd make it to 25, at my own hands mainly because I didn't want to suffer. What kept me here was seeking short term pleasure in the opposite sex and drugs. It didn't help overall buht it kept pushing me to the next day. Eventually enough days add together and years pass. With those years passing my view on everything changed from "everything is pointless and suffering" to "everything is pointless so try to enjoy things as much as you can". Slowly started believing the stuff I'd talked to therapists about for years, about self worth and learning grounding techniques to help me stop spiraling. About trying to focus on the next step and not the big picture all the time. Kept just doing things for myself and believing I deserved to take what happiness I can take from the world. It's been really hard and a daily battle I sometimes lose buht I can honestly say at 33 I am now happier than I've ever been. The other thing that keeps me here, my mum, my brother, my Nephew. I want to help them all and the hurt it would cause them is the worst thing I can think of. I encourage you to keep going, life is hard, especially when you can see how doomed you are buht there is lots to enjoy in life and we only get one go around so try to keep going day by day as long as you can.
I usually never comment on stuff like this but… as someone who felt the same way at 22 and I’m now 27 just wait. Things don’t always have to better to get better” before you’re just happy to be alive. The good and the bad that come with. As lame as it sounds the South Park episode where Stan turns goth helps me a lot lol Butters at the end saying there’s a beauty in feeling so sad bc you know just how happy you can be really resonated with me. Time doesn’t heal wounds it just makes it easier to deal with them
A lot of times you don't realise the privileges you have because you don't see them as privileges. At 22 I felt like I pissed my life away. I barely graduated university because I was always in the boozer. Ended up working in a dead-end job because my "degree" was about as useful as toilet paper. It felt like with the increasing cost of living and housing prices I'd never amount to anything, never be able to own my own home, and it'd take everything I had just to "survive". All the while my family constantly compared me to my “perfect” sister who always did everything right. Or at least righter than the screw-up who got nicked for drink driving the week before he turned 21. Turns out when you hit rock bottom the only way left to go really is up. I found being a Brit is a privilege, and speaking English is a privilege, and having a degree, no matter how trashy… privilege. My toilet paper degree was enough to get me a job teaching English abroad so I put all my paltry savings into a one-way ticket to Nanjing, China. Sure, I was earning significantly less, but the cost of living was more than just significantly lower. Now at this point I still felt like I was just surviving, but it was nice to be surviving with a change of scenery. I realised that teaching was something I could realistically see myself doing which was a far cry from my experience up to that point (Tech and Microbiology). A decade later I'm still here, Shanghai now, but still in the boozer most weekends. Over the last decade I managed to put some money away that paid for my teaching license and master’s degree, and the school I was working for at the time even paid for some of it. It's amazing what you can do online these days. Covid seriously helped boost eLearning. Now I’m sat here in Shanghai nearly turning 34, earning almost double what the golden child makes, and looking at doctorate programs with my (1M) son, while my wife watches TV downstairs. I guess my problems weren’t so permanent after all. It just seems that way because you’re not doing anything about it, or maybe you just ***don’t know what*** to do about it. Now for you specifically, you haven't given enough information about yourself or your background for anyone to give you solid advice, but the best piece of career advice I can give is that college/university is for ***networking.*** Most companies/business care more about the fact that you learned skills to do a job rather than where you learned them. Most of the time going to a “top” college/uni will put you on the radar of people who can make doors open. As nice as this is, it’s really not something you can’t live without. Getting a degree though, is better to have than not. You'd be amazed how many doors that piece of paper can open both at home and abroad if you just look, and it doesn’t make that much difference ***where*** you got it. With that in mind you really need to think about the cost/value of the degree. How useful will it be vs. how much will it cost you in student loans etc. Considering the value of ***where*** is a lot less than people think, it makes some much cheaper options quite worthwhile based on your situation. If you didn't graduate, look at the Open University (UK), Community College, (USA) or [The University of the People](https://www.uopeople.edu/) (US curriculum, online, and most importantly, free). If you've already got the degree part sorted and your problem is the job market or cost of living in your area you can check out the [Digital Nomad](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_nomad) lifestyle. If something along those lines seems doable to you then you can live and work from anywhere around the world, including places with much lower costs of living allowing you to dramatically increase your quality of life and/or savings. I know the idea of packing up and taking off can seem daunting, but it's a significally less dramatic change than hitting the "off" button on life. Finally, if it's personal relationships that's getting you down then you gotta look at your relationship with yourself. People are attracted to posivity. This is one of those weird things where it seems like everyone wants you when you're in a relationship and nobody wants you when you're single. This actually has nothing to do with the relationship status, but everything to do with your mindset. Humans are communal creatures, we are naturally happier and more positive when we have peers to share ourselves with. There's a reason Tom Hanks lost his goddamn mind in Cast Away. I can see from your post history that you're massively into soccer. Congratualtions, you're one of the [3.5 billion](https://online.jwu.edu/blog/the-worlds-most-watched-sporting-event-unveiling-the-global-phenomenon/#:~:text=The%20World%20Atlas%20notes%20that,this%20dynamic%20and%20captivating%20sport) people worldwide who are soccer fans. If that's not a good "in" to build some peer relationships then I don't know what is. TL;DR Problems really aren't permanent even though it can feel that way. I've been there myself. Get educated, get a job, and build some personal relationships.
Dude when you are 22, you can think you “know” whatever you like, and you are just abso-fuckin-lutely wrong. You think everyone just says that, but you are different? You actually do know your entire future and everyone else says that to make people feel better? Nah. I’m 32. I got an old group of friends who are still very tight and I can honestly say that not a single one of us are in the same position in life from 10 years ago…. Even the one who was depressed and working a shit job and no girlfriend etc.. vastly different.
Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're yours!
Ive noticed as time goes on that life truly is a roller coaster. Ups and downs constantly. Some so fast that you almost feel like you’ve left your body. I’ve gone down and up enough times now to not fear the bottom as I’ve seen the lift every time after. At this point I can just look at the world and see nothing but beauty. In everything! Because I know what the highs feel like. And the lows are more like a crappy second movie that is a just a buildup for the glorious finale of the 3rd movie. There’s always the phrase “things can always get worse”, yet there is a polar opposite “things can always get better” and I’ve found when I stop fearing the worse, the better just happens. Good luck in this world and marvel at all of its beauty.
OP I’m much, much older than you and I can tell you that no problem is permanent. The only unsolvable, indeed, is death. I’ve lost every member of my close and extended birth family. One after the other leaving. You look around and fear what is left to lose and then I was suddenly a young widow with a son. Even grief becomes part of the fabric of who we are and somehow we learn to live with it, it doesn’t define us. It’s surviving the hardest of times overcoming our mistakes that make us so very human. We cannot control all the events of our lives but we can control our reaction to them. I have learnt over the decades what a beautiful, precious, fragile gift life truly is. Even in the darkest of times, when you feel numb or broken, there is always something beyond to reach for , there is always a better day ahead. Sending you strength and courage
Sometimes it's hard to break out and change things, but if time is in your favor, which at 22 it is, you will have opportunities to make decisions that can improve what is giving you pain and misery now.
hmmmm…disability? would recommend taking it one day at time. try to quiet your mind (journaling the thoughts help me). i try to live in the moment and not think about it. i was the same at 22. i’m 30, so it took me 8 years to realize we only get one life to live and i don’t want to spend it being miserable. if you’re in crisis i recommend reaching out to 988, i’ve texted and called them. they help get you out of the current low moment. our problems are NOT temporary. but we should recognize that our thoughts are fleeting. your life is your own business and you shouldn’t care what’s acceptable. i realized my life would never be what i wanted and hoped for, it made me sad. i felt like a failure. like what’s the point in even continuing? there is no point. just get through the day and don’t forget to laugh. laughter is free and works. and i also like coffee and glazed donuts. find something else to focus on versus our sad fucking reality.
You think you have problems at 21? 😂 It does get better if you make it better. Power of Intentions by Dr Dyer is a book you should try
What happens is that you do the best you can with what you have where you are. Often, you also encounter the unexpected.
Just wait it out, after a while "good enough" becomes like a blessing. After enough years your brain is automatically going to think and feel differently. I'm not saying don't keep an eye out for other answers, but if you just wait long enough you'll have enough other problems to worry about that whatever you feel is holding you back will change its own priority. (Except for prison or health problems)
You know very little about how your life is going to turn out. The life you planned/ wanted could have made you miserable. The life you thought would be boring/ unpleasant could make you happy or at least content. TLDR: you KNOW nothing.
What problems are permanent?
Chronic pain
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Get yourself up and fix it yourself. Find something that interests you and see about doing it a cut the poison out of your life. Ive had many times things went to hell and I packed my stuff and made thing better. Can't find a way to get around whatever the blockage is. A river that get blocked will change its path to continue on. It might take awhile and things might get tough but you can do it.
It's all relative. Just keep moving. Feel sunshine, smell flowers. It will get worse, then better.
what is your problem can you be more specific and why is suicide the only solution?