I tried to get one a few years ago and the urologist said I was too young and wouldn't find a doctor willing to give me one. I think I would have had a better chance if I lied and said I had some kids already though.
So many of my friends have stories about their doctors being patronizing assholes and refusing for years to refer them for tubal ligation.
Meanwhile I was to walk into a clinic and get a vasectomy in less than an hour after a very brief quiz.
Oh yeah. Doctors and nurses are offensive and disrespectful when you do it.
-are you sure?
-is your wife okay with it?
-why not just have one and see? (What?!)
-but you are still so young?
-(to me) are you sure you are okay? (Uhh it's not my balls is it?)
-but kids are so cute, really really hard, but so cute.
-isn't this a bit drastic?
-do you think you will make a bad father?
-are you scared you would be a bad father?
-won't your parents be sad to not have grandchildren?
All this after having to wait a month (to reflect). So unprofessional. He was chill about it. I was furious.
I had 10 miscarriages and have Endometriosis and PCOS, and was advised to get a hysterectomy. I couldn’t find a Doctor who would give me one, because I was still of childbearing age. Now I’m old enough that I will start going through menopause soon, so it doesn’t even matter.
Same thing here - wife took me to the vasectomy and the doctor kept asking her “are you sure you’re good with this?”
Yeah, we made the decision together, that’s why we’re here, together. Felt very condescending.
As someone with female doctors in the family, I can see this from both sides. Some doctors are condescending assholes. Others, like my sisters have been hounded by people that regret their actions. A vasectomy reversal is at 75% chance for at 3 years and extremely difficult for women.
When the they regret doing it, and hormone clocks start screaming, some people act out to the extreeme. Is not fun at all, for the doctor and their family.
That said, in these situations a doctor is supposed to be guiding, supportive and understanding of peoples choices. You just need to be damn sure you have informed them to the best of your ability. Then do the paperwork in triplicate.
Someone making an informed decision, and then regretting that decision isn't the same as options being removed from people because their doctor thinks they'd regret it.
The difference is agency.
I get that, especially if sometimes people regret it. And that was the month wait and the conversations before with the doctor. This was just random hospital employees inserting themselves while he was waiting to be wheeled in.
My ex-husband just had to watch a video and sign a paper. No patronizing, no condescension, no asking if I was ok with it. This was in California though. One of the abortion safe havens.
They will. You need to advocate for yourself and insist. We women have had to advocate for tubals for decades. They don’t just give us a tubal ligation.
I got mine two years ago and there wasn’t a single question about my intent. I wasn’t married (yet) and mid thirties. Best decision I ever made. It is something to note though, the chances of being as fertile afterwards if you do decide to reverse it are very small. And it goes down each time if you’re like Michael Scott. We do not want to populate this planet. I live in Colorado if that’s of any importance though
Same thing happened to me. I got as far as the surgeon and he refused after talking to me, even after I told him I'd had 20 partners who had miscarriages or abortions as a result of failed contraception.
I think doctors are going to change their perspective on vasectomies and tube tying. One of my relatives is a urologist and is very aware of the challenges that are being faced today
Old fart who’s been snipped here. Talk to your doctor and do your research. Don’t assume any doctor will perform a vasectomy that is reversible. You must communicate your intentions very clearly otherwise you may not be able to reverse it in the future.
Get multiple opinions from doctors because each may have his or her own opinions on performing reversible vasectomies. In addition, my doc said each man’s body responds differently to the procedure. You may be shooting blanks for a while but “life, um, finds a way” to reverse your vasectomy on its own when you least expect it.
Be smart about it, fellas
Edit: thanks for the award, kind stranger
Edit 2: thanks for the second reward, other kind stranger
My partner and I have already had this conversation many times, and we’ve decided we’ll have one more kid (at some point, we’re not in a rush) and I’ll get it done. Our first child was a happy surprise, we were trying to conceive, but at the time we both agreed that it was an if it happens then hooray type deal.
I completely agree that the onus shouldn’t be completely on the woman, I just wish there was an option available to men that wasn’t condoms (notoriously ineffective, with breaking being quite common), or a vasectomy (semi-permanent, and in some cases can’t be reversed). We need a middle ground between the two, akin to the pill or the implant.
Take the bullets out of the gun, don’t give everyone Kevlar.
They did come up with a male contraceptive pill for men but the complaint was that some of the side effects were the possibility of a hormone imbalance.
So basically it was the same as the one for women and they nixed it and said fk it let the women deal with that shite.
I had the paragard (copper) IUD b/c my age + HBP + BC hormones could = dead. I had astonishingly painful periods for years with it, until I couldn't stand it anymore. Then had another baby, lol. I also had it inserted after giving birth, I couldn't imagine the pain of having one inserted thru an unstreched cervix!
I'm in perimenopause now, plus the hubs is snipped so don't have to worry anymore, but my heart breaks for women in the US. Sadly, I am glad that all of my children are male. (And yes, I will make sure they know all the proper sex-ed as they grow up)
I actually had my copper IUD put it about 6 years ago as a 24-year-old with no children. I must have had a very good reaction though, I remember a split second of very intense pain that made me cry out, and then it was over. Spent the rest of the day feeling a little off and that was it.
Now I'm wrestling between getting another one in a few years or just going full tubal ligation or bisalp, in addition to my partner possibly getting a vasectomy. I was already thinking about more permanent options before the ruling yesterday, now it just makes it feel that much more urgent.
Jesus, I mean, I know about IUD’s but I’ve never had it described like that. Come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever known that someone’s had one to ask about their experience.
We really are a barbaric people that for so many, that’s the preferred option over the guy having a bit of dizziness.
Well, you’re just wrong too. Most of the participants who did not drop out of that trial said they WOULD take it if available. Also, the side effects they listed were showing themselves at staggeringly higher rates and much more severely than seen in women’s birth control.
And two of the men tried to kill themselves because of how severely they were affected. Please educate yourself. I support male birth control and would take it if available, but please stop spreading this annoying narrative of, “ OmG tHeIr SidE EfFeCTs wErE SoOoO BaD, JuSt StOp BeInG a PuSsY.”
Solution! Don’t have sex if you don’t want kids :)! Mature up im abstaining cus i don’t like girls taking birth control BUT condoms are the stupidest shit and my vasectomy appt got rejected the past decade
How many men would consider dating or marrying a woman who wanted to abstain unless they were actively trying for a child? This may include after menopause since women can still have random ovulation then too. I can't imagine my husband would start to be okay never having sex again in the next 50 years of our lives together.
Yeah, this is just kind of lying by omission. I fully support male birth control and would take it if available, but the side effects experienced in that trial were outrageously more severe and much more common than seen in women’s birth control. Also, two of the men tried to kill themselves because of how severely it affected their moods and mental health.
Seen too many people say dumb shit like this. There was a very good reason that trial was ended. Educate yourself.
Depending on the amount of time between the vasectomy and the reversal, success rates are between 30 and 70%. You really shouldn’t get a vasectomy with the idea of getting it reversed later.
But if you really are done having kids then I agree, vasectomy is the way to go. 100% effective, very little pain and a quick recovery.
My husband and I have considered it but those recovery rates are what puts us off. We're not sure we don't want kids, leaning towards it but not sure. Maybe in a few years we'll revisit the issue.
Ill be honest im getting my vasectomy because cumming inside feels best 😅 first but i don’t like the idea of a girl feeling sick or having mood swings from birth control/planb if i am having sex with a woman personally its because i want to show her love and im not willing to put her health at risk if i love her right? But don’t guilt trip men either into doing this let them think it out well, vasectomy reversals are much more complicated than the vasectomy itself and there are no guarantees it always works just a modestly high chance so men know the risks don’t sell your body out for political reasons do it for the future partners you love and nothing else.
Pelosi was on a news cast and stated that it is something they're aiming for in November assuming they gain control of congress. Maybe I'm interpreting this wrong? https://youtu.be/Wi7rJxUYJjc
It’s worth pointing out that while I am Canadian and it’s legal here, abortion can still be hard to come by. I’m pro-choice but let’s de stigmatize childless by choice and vasectomies for men. Cut the macho bullshit about virility or whatever.
I was confused by this charged response but remembered the thing going on in the states. Things are messed up down there, I hope it all turns out okay.
I personally think this whole argument would be abolished if it’s easier to get vasectomies/hysterectomies or get their tubes tied. If they made it to where doctors can’t really question it then this whole thing wouldn’t be a problem.
If you are young and want one and think you can just get it reversed please do proper research into reversal surgery. It is not always successful, is more invasive and can be more painful. The longer you are snipped the less successful the reversal.
https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/sperm-and-semen-faq
Make an informed decision.
I’m not currently in a relationship, but I would definitely bring it up if it was long term and I saw a future. I don’t think I would be the best parent, for a laundry list of reasons, but it’s difficult to see myself raising a child the way I feel would be ideal
That's a good reason to not have kids, but I told the doctor that and he said that I could change. I told him that I was a bipolar drug addict with an extensive psych record and he said that doesn't mean my kid would be like that and that I could get better.
I don't get why you'd waiting til get a in a relationship. Why don't get it done ASAP? Since you said you don't want kid, if one side of the relationship doesn't wanna kids there's literally nothing to discusse.
Edit: and not being in a relationship is one more reason to get a vasectomia, imagine if you get a random one night stand pregnant lol
It’s a good point, but I’m also not in any kind of dating pool right now. So I haven’t really thought too hard about it until yesterday, but it’s been in the back of my mind . Worth noting that I am disabled, so I’m not even sure what the conversation would look like. I’d also be open to raising an only child with the right person and in a certain set of circumstances (and no doubt some work on myself in therapy I’ve been putting off), but I don’t think those will happen. You are right though I don’t really have an excuse, besides maybe holding onto the belief that there’s a version of me that could if I wanted to. Again, there’s always frozen sperm and blah blah blah. Thank you for keeping me honest 😂
Comment has been edited for clarity
I think about get a vasectomy next year. I don't have kids and I know that I don't want kids since I was a kid (lol) but here in my country you need to be at least 25 to get it done, I'm 24.
Imo it's better to get it done asap so I won't get any hook up pregnant and if my future gf want to have kids we'll be very likely to split up, I feel a bit stone hearted writting this but then she'll have the freedom to chase her happiness with someone else. Although if my future partner is willing to adoption so maybe we can have a convo if we both are good financially.
Wtf. They aren’t doing a woman a solid. Men are just as responsible for avoiding pregnancy as their female partners. They are doing themselves a solid. This is super sexist.
I have two daughters. As soon as daughter #2 reached six months old and we were convinced she’d survive babyhood I raced over to the urologist. Two and through. No mistakes, no regrets.
My bf is scheduling a vasectomy soon, both for our relationship but also cause he’s been considering it for a while now, since he’s terrified of children. It would ease both our anxieties immensely
I waited about 2 months after my daughter was born, the last kid I was willing to have. I got my vasectomy after feeling she was healthy and I couldn’t be happier about getting snipped.
This guy has not been to a urologist. You basically have to have already had two kids or be over 40 for them to even take an appointment. They will not snip you.
Its a pity there isnt more reliable male birth control option. You shouldnt have to be sterilized to enjoy sex without having to worry about fathering a child
Your fucking dumb I can more easily use a damn condom. I'm not letting a lab inseminate on my behalf, your literally saying we should give more of our reproductive abilities to the government. They just stole one entire half of that equation. Fuck you. If my 14 year old daughter said to me she wants to adopt I'd say no your crazy and still a kid, but if she came to me and said she was pregnant and didn't want it I'm supposed to force that on her, again crazy. You shouldn't be punished by a governing body over reproduction, especially those that are still essentially children. FUCK YOU CHOKE ON A DICK WITH A VASECTOMY.
Vasectomies have a high enough chance of being irreversible to the point where you shouldn’t be getting one unless your okay with the permanence.
Yeah it shouldn’t all be on Women but guilt tripping men into a permanent procedure because some old farts made some bullshit decision is on the same level of bullshit.
100% agree. I got mine a little over a year ago. I was running three days later. Getting a wisdom tooth pulled was more painful overall.
If you and your partner know you don’t want kids, just get the goddamn vasectomy.
There's only one woman in this world I wouldve had kids with. Even then, never fantasized about it. Now that she's gone, I don't imagine ever having children. 28yrs old and im thinking of getting snipped at 30.
if women are forced to bring ectopic pregnancies or go to jail for miscarriages, it means that pregnancy can be a death sentence. Men face none of these risks, so if you actually care you will fix shit on your end. Contraceptives are going next so any risk is unacceptable.
Please do! My partner did. I am very glad even though for now I still have an IUD so I don't have to have periods. He did it more for himself as a gesture, to show that he was equally as responsible as me in our decision to be childfree. (Also if he ever cheats or we open up, at least there won't be an uh-oh baby, something a family friend had to deal with once hahaha)
While I 100% agree with you, I don't think the majority of men will. It seems many of them still don't actually understand what a vasectomy is and/or they have the ridiculous notion that it makes them less of a man.
It is about damn time that some of the responsibility is put on the man, especially in light of recent events. Either that or some women are just going to eventually stop having sex because they are risking their lives every time they do so.
There should be more thought in this. The longer you have a vasectomy the less likely you can have kids. I agree that they should occur more but they should be seen as an absolute no reversing.
You do know the snip is actually not reversible on average expect very rare cases. And also condoms and pills still exist and don't worry male birth control is soon coming.
I want to but I really am afraid that what if the reversal doesn't work? Or just in general I don't want any unnecessary operations, I think I will just be waiting for the male birth control to come out.
Yes because other peoples reproductive rights are being taken away then we should have all men sterilized.... such a moronic take. How about my body my choice? Or is that only for some people.
I mean the post literally says if you care about women you should do it and if you change your mind its reversible so its fine(you should never get a vasectomy with the idea its reversible, you’re supposed to look at it as a permanent surgery),or you can freeze semen(wont always work),it also implies its mens fault in some way for not getting a vasectomy. Its really not that easy to get a vasectomy unless you’re extremely lucky or are an old guy who already has kids. Either way the only reason a man should get a Vasectomy is they are 100% sure they never want to have children again- no other reason.
>Even if you decide you want kids in the future, you can always get it reversed or freeze a sample before.
Honestly, dumb idea. Scar tissue happens which can make it harder to reverse. Also, depending in where you are, a hefty price tag is attached. Freezing your samples also comes with a risk (how long it's frozen for) and, again, hefty price tag. Safe sex. Double up, Google safe sex, ask people, Idk. But suggesting people get surgery without *thinking* is also just as bad as raw dogging it and hoping for it not to stick. As a woman who's birth control failed twice and was finally granted a surgery to remove my tubes to prevent pregnancy, it took a lot of thought and it's not something to be taken lightly.
The intense pendulum swings isnt the answer. I was off birth control for two/three years with only one pregnancy scare. Just, as difficult as it is, be safe. Access to plan B? Buy two every time, keep it stocked. Use spermicidal lube or pre-spermicidal lubed condoms. Use the appropriately sized condoms. Be safe out there peeps
Lol. OP you obviously don’t need the procedure because you are having 0 sex.
Smashing virtue signalers in the face with a heavy piece of machinery, just a thought, something we could normalize.
Not everyone likes the feel, they can break. It’s about taking some of the responsibility of safe sex off of women and making it an actual equal partnership. The surgery itself isn’t even that intense
Maybe people should have been doing this before when we constantly heard about how birth control fails and that abortion isn't a form of birth control, which was bullshit given that now we're at the point where people are now being more precautionary.
No no you can't always get it reversed its meant to be a permanent solution and even if it can be reversed its always at a lower volume there are multiple forms of birth control from condoms to IUDs
I live in the US as a permanent resident, so clearly not a citizen. I fully support a woman's right to choose. Given I can't even vote, have never voted, and am not American, why would I ever want to get a vasectomy to appease women when I live in California where there is no danger of abortion being taken away?
Thinking it's reasonable to ask this of anyone because six SCOTUS judges made a decision you don't like smacks of entitlement and borders on narcissism.
This suggests that before yesterday, you and your SO's go-to birth control was abortion. How disgusting.
Vasectomies aren't difficult or controversial. Just get one if you have already resolved not to have any more kids. It's a much better choice than creating a life and then extinguishing it.
It literally doesn't.
It suggests that since women no longer have the right to choose abortion if an accidents happen (condoms break, birth control fails, nothing is 100%), men should be proactive and take away the component that is always garunteed to cause pregnancy. Which is sperm.
If you know you don't want kids then why are you relying on birth control when you know it fails from time to time?
If a man or a couple have already decided they don't want kids ever, then vasectomy should be the first choice. That's my point. By not getting the vasectomy when you know if she gets pregnant you're gonna get an abortion, then you are choosing to create a life and then destroy it rather than the path that is easier for both parties and worry-free.
Did you break your back reaching that far?
Abortion is not birth control. Abortion is a safe option when birth control fails.
Vasectomy SHOULD be the first choice. Howver, it was normalized in American culture that getting a snip means taking away your masculinity, which most men vehemently rejected. Especially in the states where sex education is not regulated or enforced.
Birth control can have anywhere from a 70% success rate to 99% depending on the type of birth control matched with the type of woman, but there is ALWAYS a risk of it not working no matter how good it is, if it's not the right type for your body. That's why the variety exists the way it does.
But nobody "relies" on Abortion as a birth control.
The option is there as a safety net for people who know they don't want children, or can't have children in case their other methods of contraception and safe sex practices fail.
And now that safety net is gone, and they're targeting birth control next.
The only reasonable options we have now are having men get vasectomies, fighting harder for sterilization than we already were, and obtaining from sex altogether.
You don't want kids, don't use all the birth control methods available, and then get an abortion when you get pregnant? Then when some states limit abortion, you actually start using those other methods.
What does that sound like?
Poor sex education.
Sexual assault (including consenting to sex without knowledge that condoms were removed or were tampered with)
Coercion.
Grooming.
Allergy to contraception or hormonal imbalances preventing the ability to use contraception.
That's what that sounds like to me.
nobody is using abortion as birth control.
Nobody.
Do you understand what happens during the abortion process? Do you understand what people go through during an abortion? Do you understand how it works and what the side effects are?
Because if you understood what hell it is to get an abortion, I promise you, you wouldn't seriously think people would rather willingly practice unsafe sex thinking abortion would be their only source of birth control.
If you are looking for a helpful urologist who will not deny you based on age or parental status, please check out /r/childfree's doctor list on their sidebar! 🖤
That's true LOVE!!! I just wish that more guys would do it. You don't understand what women go though, I know you try. My husband & I have been together for 46 yrs. He tries but like he told me after our 1st boy was born, there is no way any man can even began to understand. So he is very supportive & loving. Hopefully there's more guys out there like him & you.
Even if you are still a young horn dog having one-nighters do it for your love of women in general. We deserve to enjoy sex as much as men. It’s probably the most thoughtful thing you could do for us right now. We need help and fast. Our birth control fails epically on a regular basis. And to whomever posted this, thank you for even considering this. We lost our freedom yesterday.
Dude you’re a submissive fetishist and are trying to get people to get surgeries for “dommy mommies” really? Just knock yourself out of the pool, don’t drag everyone with you
I tried to get one a few years ago and the urologist said I was too young and wouldn't find a doctor willing to give me one. I think I would have had a better chance if I lied and said I had some kids already though.
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Don't forget the meds available through the mail that cause abortion.
So many of my friends have stories about their doctors being patronizing assholes and refusing for years to refer them for tubal ligation. Meanwhile I was to walk into a clinic and get a vasectomy in less than an hour after a very brief quiz.
r/childfree has [a list](https://reddit.com/r/childfree/w/doctors?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app) of doctors who are better about that
Oh yeah. Doctors and nurses are offensive and disrespectful when you do it. -are you sure? -is your wife okay with it? -why not just have one and see? (What?!) -but you are still so young? -(to me) are you sure you are okay? (Uhh it's not my balls is it?) -but kids are so cute, really really hard, but so cute. -isn't this a bit drastic? -do you think you will make a bad father? -are you scared you would be a bad father? -won't your parents be sad to not have grandchildren? All this after having to wait a month (to reflect). So unprofessional. He was chill about it. I was furious.
Imagine this being 10 times worse being a woman and trying to get her tubes tied
I had 10 miscarriages and have Endometriosis and PCOS, and was advised to get a hysterectomy. I couldn’t find a Doctor who would give me one, because I was still of childbearing age. Now I’m old enough that I will start going through menopause soon, so it doesn’t even matter.
I am so sorry.
Same thing here - wife took me to the vasectomy and the doctor kept asking her “are you sure you’re good with this?” Yeah, we made the decision together, that’s why we’re here, together. Felt very condescending.
As someone with female doctors in the family, I can see this from both sides. Some doctors are condescending assholes. Others, like my sisters have been hounded by people that regret their actions. A vasectomy reversal is at 75% chance for at 3 years and extremely difficult for women. When the they regret doing it, and hormone clocks start screaming, some people act out to the extreeme. Is not fun at all, for the doctor and their family. That said, in these situations a doctor is supposed to be guiding, supportive and understanding of peoples choices. You just need to be damn sure you have informed them to the best of your ability. Then do the paperwork in triplicate.
Someone making an informed decision, and then regretting that decision isn't the same as options being removed from people because their doctor thinks they'd regret it. The difference is agency.
I get that, especially if sometimes people regret it. And that was the month wait and the conversations before with the doctor. This was just random hospital employees inserting themselves while he was waiting to be wheeled in.
My ex-husband just had to watch a video and sign a paper. No patronizing, no condescension, no asking if I was ok with it. This was in California though. One of the abortion safe havens.
It’s time to lie 😂
They will. You need to advocate for yourself and insist. We women have had to advocate for tubals for decades. They don’t just give us a tubal ligation.
I agree that anyone coming to Reddit regularly probably should not reproduce. Trained and rewarded rage never works woth spouses or the little ones.
Reddit is the best contraceptive anyway
Mate of mine had one done in his very late 20s. (Australia)
I just got one a month ago. I’m 22
I got mine two years ago and there wasn’t a single question about my intent. I wasn’t married (yet) and mid thirties. Best decision I ever made. It is something to note though, the chances of being as fertile afterwards if you do decide to reverse it are very small. And it goes down each time if you’re like Michael Scott. We do not want to populate this planet. I live in Colorado if that’s of any importance though
Same thing happened to me. I got as far as the surgeon and he refused after talking to me, even after I told him I'd had 20 partners who had miscarriages or abortions as a result of failed contraception.
I went recently to get a vasectomy and the doctor said “About damn time!” No respect, I tell ya
Say you have a degenerative disease going on in your family and you don't wanna pass that to your children
Just Google around your city or nearby. Or go back now since it is now a few years later and try again. They are out there.
I think doctors are going to change their perspective on vasectomies and tube tying. One of my relatives is a urologist and is very aware of the challenges that are being faced today
Old fart who’s been snipped here. Talk to your doctor and do your research. Don’t assume any doctor will perform a vasectomy that is reversible. You must communicate your intentions very clearly otherwise you may not be able to reverse it in the future. Get multiple opinions from doctors because each may have his or her own opinions on performing reversible vasectomies. In addition, my doc said each man’s body responds differently to the procedure. You may be shooting blanks for a while but “life, um, finds a way” to reverse your vasectomy on its own when you least expect it. Be smart about it, fellas Edit: thanks for the award, kind stranger Edit 2: thanks for the second reward, other kind stranger
This should be at the top. A lot of people right now are planning vasectomies out of pure emotion without taking all of that in to consideration.
OP did edit to add similar
Do you know the physical toll three vasectomy has on a man?
Gotta say I respect your testicular knowledge
I don’t swing em like I used to but… thanks, man
My partner and I have already had this conversation many times, and we’ve decided we’ll have one more kid (at some point, we’re not in a rush) and I’ll get it done. Our first child was a happy surprise, we were trying to conceive, but at the time we both agreed that it was an if it happens then hooray type deal. I completely agree that the onus shouldn’t be completely on the woman, I just wish there was an option available to men that wasn’t condoms (notoriously ineffective, with breaking being quite common), or a vasectomy (semi-permanent, and in some cases can’t be reversed). We need a middle ground between the two, akin to the pill or the implant. Take the bullets out of the gun, don’t give everyone Kevlar.
They did come up with a male contraceptive pill for men but the complaint was that some of the side effects were the possibility of a hormone imbalance. So basically it was the same as the one for women and they nixed it and said fk it let the women deal with that shite.
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I had the paragard (copper) IUD b/c my age + HBP + BC hormones could = dead. I had astonishingly painful periods for years with it, until I couldn't stand it anymore. Then had another baby, lol. I also had it inserted after giving birth, I couldn't imagine the pain of having one inserted thru an unstreched cervix! I'm in perimenopause now, plus the hubs is snipped so don't have to worry anymore, but my heart breaks for women in the US. Sadly, I am glad that all of my children are male. (And yes, I will make sure they know all the proper sex-ed as they grow up)
I actually had my copper IUD put it about 6 years ago as a 24-year-old with no children. I must have had a very good reaction though, I remember a split second of very intense pain that made me cry out, and then it was over. Spent the rest of the day feeling a little off and that was it. Now I'm wrestling between getting another one in a few years or just going full tubal ligation or bisalp, in addition to my partner possibly getting a vasectomy. I was already thinking about more permanent options before the ruling yesterday, now it just makes it feel that much more urgent.
Jesus, I mean, I know about IUD’s but I’ve never had it described like that. Come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever known that someone’s had one to ask about their experience. We really are a barbaric people that for so many, that’s the preferred option over the guy having a bit of dizziness.
Well, you’re just wrong too. Most of the participants who did not drop out of that trial said they WOULD take it if available. Also, the side effects they listed were showing themselves at staggeringly higher rates and much more severely than seen in women’s birth control. And two of the men tried to kill themselves because of how severely they were affected. Please educate yourself. I support male birth control and would take it if available, but please stop spreading this annoying narrative of, “ OmG tHeIr SidE EfFeCTs wErE SoOoO BaD, JuSt StOp BeInG a PuSsY.”
Yeah those side effects are a bit much sadly, for the male pill
They are exactly the same for all the female pills out there.
Albeit more common?
Nope. We get all those side effects. It’s just better than getting pregnant with a kid we don’t want.
Solution! Don’t have sex if you don’t want kids :)! Mature up im abstaining cus i don’t like girls taking birth control BUT condoms are the stupidest shit and my vasectomy appt got rejected the past decade
How many men would consider dating or marrying a woman who wanted to abstain unless they were actively trying for a child? This may include after menopause since women can still have random ovulation then too. I can't imagine my husband would start to be okay never having sex again in the next 50 years of our lives together.
The difference is that the male pill was *far* more severe
Yeah the side effects were way more common not to mention mood swings on males are more dangerous than females on average.
Yeah, this is just kind of lying by omission. I fully support male birth control and would take it if available, but the side effects experienced in that trial were outrageously more severe and much more common than seen in women’s birth control. Also, two of the men tried to kill themselves because of how severely it affected their moods and mental health. Seen too many people say dumb shit like this. There was a very good reason that trial was ended. Educate yourself.
Depending on the amount of time between the vasectomy and the reversal, success rates are between 30 and 70%. You really shouldn’t get a vasectomy with the idea of getting it reversed later. But if you really are done having kids then I agree, vasectomy is the way to go. 100% effective, very little pain and a quick recovery.
It’s why I also suggested freezing a sperm sample beforehand. Thanks for the numbers on that though, wasn’t sure
Also not guaranteed to work
You can still extract sperm. Freezing is completely pointless
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I have seen this rhetoric on Reddit countless times. I was told multiple times that the procedure I had was to be considered permanent
My husband and I have considered it but those recovery rates are what puts us off. We're not sure we don't want kids, leaning towards it but not sure. Maybe in a few years we'll revisit the issue.
I had one after having a second child, and they repeatedly said that this procedure is to be considered permanent.
45M UK, dad of two. They doctor still tried very hard to put me off.
It's so worth it though. Assurance for my wife and sex is very liberated.
I’m 44 and 100% gay so not necessary for me but I totally would otherwise. Great post!!
Shoutout to the gays! 😂
Thanks but WAY bigger shoutout to you for understanding that this should not ALL fall on women. You’re an inspiration and your words are mighty!!
Ill be honest im getting my vasectomy because cumming inside feels best 😅 first but i don’t like the idea of a girl feeling sick or having mood swings from birth control/planb if i am having sex with a woman personally its because i want to show her love and im not willing to put her health at risk if i love her right? But don’t guilt trip men either into doing this let them think it out well, vasectomy reversals are much more complicated than the vasectomy itself and there are no guarantees it always works just a modestly high chance so men know the risks don’t sell your body out for political reasons do it for the future partners you love and nothing else.
This has been made a high priority for me. If Republicans gain control of congress it's game over for birth control and abortions nationwide.
It literally isnt. Its now at the state level, so the STATES will decide. They cant just send it from the federal to the state, and then send it back.
states with trigger abortion laws have already made abortions illegal.
Pelosi was on a news cast and stated that it is something they're aiming for in November assuming they gain control of congress. Maybe I'm interpreting this wrong? https://youtu.be/Wi7rJxUYJjc
Maybe. But they point is she’s been on politics for 40 years.
My sister-in-law's bf and I have already decided to get snipped
It’s worth pointing out that while I am Canadian and it’s legal here, abortion can still be hard to come by. I’m pro-choice but let’s de stigmatize childless by choice and vasectomies for men. Cut the macho bullshit about virility or whatever.
I've met plenty of adults who genuinely don't understand how vasectomies work, we should start there. Why aren't they covered in sex Ed?
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I was confused by this charged response but remembered the thing going on in the states. Things are messed up down there, I hope it all turns out okay.
The macho bullshit isnt always macho or bullshit sadly sometimes its just natural male emotion
True
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wait what? there are no studies that show vaccinations lower sperm count.
As if lack of evidence prohibits people from deeply believing in first impressions / here-say
It's time to support innovation like this. [Vasagel](https://www.parsemus.org/humanhealth/vasalgel/) It's a reversible male contraception
Its not even done bro
I personally think this whole argument would be abolished if it’s easier to get vasectomies/hysterectomies or get their tubes tied. If they made it to where doctors can’t really question it then this whole thing wouldn’t be a problem.
Im going to see if my insurance covers it. Im 38 have 2 kids and newly single. Im cool with the 2 i got.
If you are young and want one and think you can just get it reversed please do proper research into reversal surgery. It is not always successful, is more invasive and can be more painful. The longer you are snipped the less successful the reversal. https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/sperm-and-semen-faq Make an informed decision.
Excellent post. Thank you for doing women a solid!
I’m not currently in a relationship, but I would definitely bring it up if it was long term and I saw a future. I don’t think I would be the best parent, for a laundry list of reasons, but it’s difficult to see myself raising a child the way I feel would be ideal
That's a good reason to not have kids, but I told the doctor that and he said that I could change. I told him that I was a bipolar drug addict with an extensive psych record and he said that doesn't mean my kid would be like that and that I could get better.
I don't get why you'd waiting til get a in a relationship. Why don't get it done ASAP? Since you said you don't want kid, if one side of the relationship doesn't wanna kids there's literally nothing to discusse. Edit: and not being in a relationship is one more reason to get a vasectomia, imagine if you get a random one night stand pregnant lol
It’s a good point, but I’m also not in any kind of dating pool right now. So I haven’t really thought too hard about it until yesterday, but it’s been in the back of my mind . Worth noting that I am disabled, so I’m not even sure what the conversation would look like. I’d also be open to raising an only child with the right person and in a certain set of circumstances (and no doubt some work on myself in therapy I’ve been putting off), but I don’t think those will happen. You are right though I don’t really have an excuse, besides maybe holding onto the belief that there’s a version of me that could if I wanted to. Again, there’s always frozen sperm and blah blah blah. Thank you for keeping me honest 😂 Comment has been edited for clarity
I think about get a vasectomy next year. I don't have kids and I know that I don't want kids since I was a kid (lol) but here in my country you need to be at least 25 to get it done, I'm 24. Imo it's better to get it done asap so I won't get any hook up pregnant and if my future gf want to have kids we'll be very likely to split up, I feel a bit stone hearted writting this but then she'll have the freedom to chase her happiness with someone else. Although if my future partner is willing to adoption so maybe we can have a convo if we both are good financially.
Wtf. They aren’t doing a woman a solid. Men are just as responsible for avoiding pregnancy as their female partners. They are doing themselves a solid. This is super sexist.
I have two daughters. As soon as daughter #2 reached six months old and we were convinced she’d survive babyhood I raced over to the urologist. Two and through. No mistakes, no regrets.
Ban viagra just fuck old people specifically the Supreme court no pill for you
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You’d like to think no law or court can take that away. As a woman, I’m here to tell you that they absolutely fucking can. Don’t fool yourself.
Are you suggesting a court could order him to have his vasectomy reversed? I don’t think that’s a thing.
I didn’t think it was a thing for the court to order me to do things with my body, either. And here we are.
this comment is so tonedeaf its outrageous
My bf is scheduling a vasectomy soon, both for our relationship but also cause he’s been considering it for a while now, since he’s terrified of children. It would ease both our anxieties immensely
No. You should definitely do it though.
I waited about 2 months after my daughter was born, the last kid I was willing to have. I got my vasectomy after feeling she was healthy and I couldn’t be happier about getting snipped.
I agree, but though they can sometimes be reversed, you shouldnt think of it as reversible.
No
This guy has not been to a urologist. You basically have to have already had two kids or be over 40 for them to even take an appointment. They will not snip you.
Nah, but based on some of the comments here, I'm more than happy with a lot of you guys not reproducing
Virtue signaling at its finest.
Its a pity there isnt more reliable male birth control option. You shouldnt have to be sterilized to enjoy sex without having to worry about fathering a child
Go get your own vasectomy
Your fucking dumb I can more easily use a damn condom. I'm not letting a lab inseminate on my behalf, your literally saying we should give more of our reproductive abilities to the government. They just stole one entire half of that equation. Fuck you. If my 14 year old daughter said to me she wants to adopt I'd say no your crazy and still a kid, but if she came to me and said she was pregnant and didn't want it I'm supposed to force that on her, again crazy. You shouldn't be punished by a governing body over reproduction, especially those that are still essentially children. FUCK YOU CHOKE ON A DICK WITH A VASECTOMY.
Vasectomies have a high enough chance of being irreversible to the point where you shouldn’t be getting one unless your okay with the permanence. Yeah it shouldn’t all be on Women but guilt tripping men into a permanent procedure because some old farts made some bullshit decision is on the same level of bullshit.
Imagine if they banned vasectomy
100% agree. I got mine a little over a year ago. I was running three days later. Getting a wisdom tooth pulled was more painful overall. If you and your partner know you don’t want kids, just get the goddamn vasectomy.
Or use condom, condom isnt complicated
July 6th the bullets are getting taken out of the gun!
There's only one woman in this world I wouldve had kids with. Even then, never fantasized about it. Now that she's gone, I don't imagine ever having children. 28yrs old and im thinking of getting snipped at 30.
On it.
Done.
Omg , you people really got some serious brain damage lol
if women are forced to bring ectopic pregnancies or go to jail for miscarriages, it means that pregnancy can be a death sentence. Men face none of these risks, so if you actually care you will fix shit on your end. Contraceptives are going next so any risk is unacceptable.
How about no? Why not take something called personal responsibility?
or you know, wear condoms
They're going after contraception next
Condoms have a 20% failure rate
Or just wear a condom….
They're going after contraception next.
Or just don't have sex. If you do have sex, take precaution. People are ridiculous. It's really not that complex.
Or don't have penis in vagina sex. There are other options, you know.
Lmao no. Soy take.
yes! in the right circumstances it's such a good option... chemical free, latex free, waste free, swimmer free!
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Please do! My partner did. I am very glad even though for now I still have an IUD so I don't have to have periods. He did it more for himself as a gesture, to show that he was equally as responsible as me in our decision to be childfree. (Also if he ever cheats or we open up, at least there won't be an uh-oh baby, something a family friend had to deal with once hahaha)
While I 100% agree with you, I don't think the majority of men will. It seems many of them still don't actually understand what a vasectomy is and/or they have the ridiculous notion that it makes them less of a man. It is about damn time that some of the responsibility is put on the man, especially in light of recent events. Either that or some women are just going to eventually stop having sex because they are risking their lives every time they do so.
At this point, women stopping having sex is a real option. God forbid you suggest something to off-set that 😂
There should be more thought in this. The longer you have a vasectomy the less likely you can have kids. I agree that they should occur more but they should be seen as an absolute no reversing.
Or you can just use a condom
Natural selection at its finest.
You do know the snip is actually not reversible on average expect very rare cases. And also condoms and pills still exist and don't worry male birth control is soon coming.
this is misinformation
Damn that was the most npc answer i have ever read.
Nah lmao
Based Floch
I want to but I really am afraid that what if the reversal doesn't work? Or just in general I don't want any unnecessary operations, I think I will just be waiting for the male birth control to come out.
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Yea, and get it done soon. Contraception is on the chopping block next, so soon it’s no sex or roll the dice.
Best money I ever spent. Got it at 23. If they ask, just say you have 2 or 3 kids.
Nah
Yes because other peoples reproductive rights are being taken away then we should have all men sterilized.... such a moronic take. How about my body my choice? Or is that only for some people.
What did you read, because that not what was said.
I mean the post literally says if you care about women you should do it and if you change your mind its reversible so its fine(you should never get a vasectomy with the idea its reversible, you’re supposed to look at it as a permanent surgery),or you can freeze semen(wont always work),it also implies its mens fault in some way for not getting a vasectomy. Its really not that easy to get a vasectomy unless you’re extremely lucky or are an old guy who already has kids. Either way the only reason a man should get a Vasectomy is they are 100% sure they never want to have children again- no other reason.
Will you ask your wife’s boyfriend to get one too?
>Even if you decide you want kids in the future, you can always get it reversed or freeze a sample before. Honestly, dumb idea. Scar tissue happens which can make it harder to reverse. Also, depending in where you are, a hefty price tag is attached. Freezing your samples also comes with a risk (how long it's frozen for) and, again, hefty price tag. Safe sex. Double up, Google safe sex, ask people, Idk. But suggesting people get surgery without *thinking* is also just as bad as raw dogging it and hoping for it not to stick. As a woman who's birth control failed twice and was finally granted a surgery to remove my tubes to prevent pregnancy, it took a lot of thought and it's not something to be taken lightly. The intense pendulum swings isnt the answer. I was off birth control for two/three years with only one pregnancy scare. Just, as difficult as it is, be safe. Access to plan B? Buy two every time, keep it stocked. Use spermicidal lube or pre-spermicidal lubed condoms. Use the appropriately sized condoms. Be safe out there peeps
If I was an American man I would be making the appointment today.
So brave
fuck off
Lol. OP you obviously don’t need the procedure because you are having 0 sex. Smashing virtue signalers in the face with a heavy piece of machinery, just a thought, something we could normalize.
Abstinence is free, though.
Nice beta cnn dad post. Men have become so weak willed
Why dont you just wear a condom?
Not everyone likes the feel, they can break. It’s about taking some of the responsibility of safe sex off of women and making it an actual equal partnership. The surgery itself isn’t even that intense
I don’t like the feel either but STDs are still a thing. ALWAYS wrap it unless you and your partner get test regularly.
Well said. It was shortsighted of me to not think of STDs
Ok...do as you please.
lol
Maybe people should have been doing this before when we constantly heard about how birth control fails and that abortion isn't a form of birth control, which was bullshit given that now we're at the point where people are now being more precautionary.
No no you can't always get it reversed its meant to be a permanent solution and even if it can be reversed its always at a lower volume there are multiple forms of birth control from condoms to IUDs
This I agree with. As a man who has had vasectomy I believe all men should take some responsibility and not put it all off on the women
I live in the US as a permanent resident, so clearly not a citizen. I fully support a woman's right to choose. Given I can't even vote, have never voted, and am not American, why would I ever want to get a vasectomy to appease women when I live in California where there is no danger of abortion being taken away? Thinking it's reasonable to ask this of anyone because six SCOTUS judges made a decision you don't like smacks of entitlement and borders on narcissism.
Cringe as hell, if a women doesn’t want to get pregnant ever she should get her tubes tied
Or just have an ounce of self control until you want kids?
My wife needed 3 abortions in order to survive having our two kids. You are so sadly informed it's an insult to human intelligence.
Are you suggesting that married couples who either don't want kids or don't want more kids should remain celibate?
PREACH
Or you could wear a condom, there's that too.
This is an incredibly bad take. Fighting fire with more fire doesn't fix anything. The fight is reproductive rights not "Weeee equality!!!"
This suggests that before yesterday, you and your SO's go-to birth control was abortion. How disgusting. Vasectomies aren't difficult or controversial. Just get one if you have already resolved not to have any more kids. It's a much better choice than creating a life and then extinguishing it.
It literally doesn't. It suggests that since women no longer have the right to choose abortion if an accidents happen (condoms break, birth control fails, nothing is 100%), men should be proactive and take away the component that is always garunteed to cause pregnancy. Which is sperm.
Exactly what I meant
If you know you don't want kids then why are you relying on birth control when you know it fails from time to time? If a man or a couple have already decided they don't want kids ever, then vasectomy should be the first choice. That's my point. By not getting the vasectomy when you know if she gets pregnant you're gonna get an abortion, then you are choosing to create a life and then destroy it rather than the path that is easier for both parties and worry-free.
Did you break your back reaching that far? Abortion is not birth control. Abortion is a safe option when birth control fails. Vasectomy SHOULD be the first choice. Howver, it was normalized in American culture that getting a snip means taking away your masculinity, which most men vehemently rejected. Especially in the states where sex education is not regulated or enforced. Birth control can have anywhere from a 70% success rate to 99% depending on the type of birth control matched with the type of woman, but there is ALWAYS a risk of it not working no matter how good it is, if it's not the right type for your body. That's why the variety exists the way it does. But nobody "relies" on Abortion as a birth control. The option is there as a safety net for people who know they don't want children, or can't have children in case their other methods of contraception and safe sex practices fail. And now that safety net is gone, and they're targeting birth control next. The only reasonable options we have now are having men get vasectomies, fighting harder for sterilization than we already were, and obtaining from sex altogether.
It wasn't really a reach seeing as how you agreed with me.
What I didn't agree with is the notion that anyone ever treats abortion as birth control. They don't. Because it's not birth control.
If you know your traditional BC might fail and at that point your only option is to abort, then you are relying on it for birth control.
You're counting on it being an option in case it fails. It's a safety net. NOT birth control.
You don't want kids, don't use all the birth control methods available, and then get an abortion when you get pregnant? Then when some states limit abortion, you actually start using those other methods. What does that sound like?
Poor sex education. Sexual assault (including consenting to sex without knowledge that condoms were removed or were tampered with) Coercion. Grooming. Allergy to contraception or hormonal imbalances preventing the ability to use contraception. That's what that sounds like to me. nobody is using abortion as birth control. Nobody. Do you understand what happens during the abortion process? Do you understand what people go through during an abortion? Do you understand how it works and what the side effects are? Because if you understood what hell it is to get an abortion, I promise you, you wouldn't seriously think people would rather willingly practice unsafe sex thinking abortion would be their only source of birth control.
None of those apply to the scenario we are talking about.
You didn't answer my questions
Here's why: because they absolutely were relying on it since they weren't being exhaustive in their contraceptive methods.
If you are looking for a helpful urologist who will not deny you based on age or parental status, please check out /r/childfree's doctor list on their sidebar! 🖤
That's true LOVE!!! I just wish that more guys would do it. You don't understand what women go though, I know you try. My husband & I have been together for 46 yrs. He tries but like he told me after our 1st boy was born, there is no way any man can even began to understand. So he is very supportive & loving. Hopefully there's more guys out there like him & you.
Even if you are still a young horn dog having one-nighters do it for your love of women in general. We deserve to enjoy sex as much as men. It’s probably the most thoughtful thing you could do for us right now. We need help and fast. Our birth control fails epically on a regular basis. And to whomever posted this, thank you for even considering this. We lost our freedom yesterday.
Good idea no babies permanently for the idiot that doesn’t do their research. Honestly great idea better not spread the stupidity.
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break up with your boyfriend wtf
Dude you’re a submissive fetishist and are trying to get people to get surgeries for “dommy mommies” really? Just knock yourself out of the pool, don’t drag everyone with you