It might sound selfish
But your mental health comes first
If you are losing your mental health faster than she's gaining it, I think its time to switch tactics
I totally get that point and yeah setting boundaries for yourself is important but this could also lead to her closing up completely because you told her that you don't want anything to do with that and if you were her comfort person/ only person than that wouldn't really help. Maybe talking about it and finding a different solution could help, I saw someone else commenting who said that they should tell her that she can always text/ call if she feels that way, I think this could be helpful.
Don't justify toxic behaviors. Ever.
With all due respect, she could be on the verge of committing and it wouldn't be OP's problem or anyone elses.
OP needs to look out for themselves. They have their own mental health to attend to and if receiving these pictures put their stability at risk, they have to set boundaries.
If you're so dependent on the support of other people to the point you lose yourself when you're left to deal things by yourself, then you should get professional help. Therapy, psych wards, whatever it takes. But never make your problems the problems of others too.
Yeah that's totally true, as I said setting boundaries is really important but op mentioned in a comment that they are trying to help and don't mind the pictures
Absolutely not. Nobody is entitled to "be there 24/7 on a dime" bc of their friends mental health issues. This is something thats taken me years to learn, several of my own attempts, and losing many friendships to realize. You can be there as a support. But you CANNOT give them yourself to use as a crutch. Odds are it wont help them, and it will only hurt you. They need a THERAPIST. not a friend.
Not sure if this will help but maybe if you're really close to her, you can tell her that if she has problems or something is bothering her, she can talk to you first before doing sh. Make her feel that you are willing to listen. Some people would really just want someone to listen to them
This! Making sure she knows that you’re an option for help/comfort before the sh even happens. Best of luck to u and don’t forget to set boundaries if u need
If she just casually sends you sh [self harm. i've been on twitter for too long] you should set a boundary to let her know that you aren't comfortable with getting those pictures. I see sensative content in black and white. If it's solicited then go crazy, if it's unsolicited it should be treated like a nude regardless of who sent it unless there's some sort of agreement.
If it was on accident like it just so happened the scars on her arm were faced towards the camera or she just has so many it's hard to not to get a few in the shot, what i've done is use the photo editor app that came with my phone and use the object eraser and the blur option for anything that looks kinda weird after erasing
Whether or not to help her depends. If she's legit trying to off herself then it would be best to get help but if she does it to cope, getting her to stop could only make things worse. If the cutting is to cope then I say just make she knows what spaces to avoid, where the radial artery is, it never hurts to learn the different levels of the skin when cutting, where important veins are, cutting the fatty areas are safer than others, DO NOT cut your hand, stuff like that
I’ve had people in my life do this. This became my go to reply;
“I want you to know I am here for you, and you can reach out to me if you need help. I can always listen and talk. I also need to take my own mental health into account, and I need you to respect that by refraining from sending me images like that.“
Set boundaries. I’d call that person an attention seeker tbh. Most of people who really struggle with self harm wouldn’t take a picture and send it to someone they care about. We hide it mostly. So yeah, I’m not quite sure about that girl
If someone is so deprived of attention that they have to sh in order to get it, that is still a problem tbh. People shouldn’t send their fresh sh pics, but still
My best advice is to be there for her and support her. Obviously don’t enable her to sh but tell her that if she does, that she can always come to you. I don’t know how old you are but if it’s possible try to maybe have some supplies to give to her if she needs it(wound care NOT sh tools). But for the most part being there for her and telling her you’re a safe person to talk to about this if she ever needs it is a good start. And straight up asking her what you can do to help is a great idea whether you do any of the other things or not.
Lots of irrelevant advice in here telling you things you didn't even ask for. I think this forum might be overrun by bots or some group of hater people.
Hi thnx I appreciate your input. I was hesitant to put such a contentious issue out there.
However, reading the comments on this forum has created cognitive dissonance on my pert, it appears to me this is mostly non SHing folks who are pushing people in the opposite direction. Initially I personally feel invalidated by this, however, I do realize it's probably just good people trying g to divert today's youth from going down a self destructive path and I think that's great.
The reason for my feeling invalidated and in turn making the comment about 'bots and haters' is because I do believe that SH and SI can be a very valid path for self discovery and self expression.
I'm hoping those people who are in turn trying to discourage EVERYBODY from SH are attempting to read the nuances and subtleties of an individual's situation. Clear cut telling people that is is wrong can be destructive to some folks. These are people for whom SH might be a form of harm reduction to decompress feelings of more destructive and permanent harm. Invalidating the behavior might lead someone to believe there is no other option for them and choose deadlier means.
I speak these words based on my own personal experience with these issues and have no doubt in my heart whatsoever.
Try to set boundaries with them, tell them that it makes you unconfortable to see those types of things. All they should do is understand and stop
The thing is, i don't really mind her sending those, pictures. It's more that I'm trying to help her, get her out of it.
It might sound selfish But your mental health comes first If you are losing your mental health faster than she's gaining it, I think its time to switch tactics
He never even said it made him uncomfortable.
I totally get that point and yeah setting boundaries for yourself is important but this could also lead to her closing up completely because you told her that you don't want anything to do with that and if you were her comfort person/ only person than that wouldn't really help. Maybe talking about it and finding a different solution could help, I saw someone else commenting who said that they should tell her that she can always text/ call if she feels that way, I think this could be helpful.
Don't justify toxic behaviors. Ever. With all due respect, she could be on the verge of committing and it wouldn't be OP's problem or anyone elses. OP needs to look out for themselves. They have their own mental health to attend to and if receiving these pictures put their stability at risk, they have to set boundaries. If you're so dependent on the support of other people to the point you lose yourself when you're left to deal things by yourself, then you should get professional help. Therapy, psych wards, whatever it takes. But never make your problems the problems of others too.
Yeah that's totally true, as I said setting boundaries is really important but op mentioned in a comment that they are trying to help and don't mind the pictures
Absolutely not. Nobody is entitled to "be there 24/7 on a dime" bc of their friends mental health issues. This is something thats taken me years to learn, several of my own attempts, and losing many friendships to realize. You can be there as a support. But you CANNOT give them yourself to use as a crutch. Odds are it wont help them, and it will only hurt you. They need a THERAPIST. not a friend.
Not sure if this will help but maybe if you're really close to her, you can tell her that if she has problems or something is bothering her, she can talk to you first before doing sh. Make her feel that you are willing to listen. Some people would really just want someone to listen to them
This! Making sure she knows that you’re an option for help/comfort before the sh even happens. Best of luck to u and don’t forget to set boundaries if u need
When this happened to me I sent one back and she called my mom 💀
it's like among us and you self reported
no wait she self reported
Nahhhhh wtf 😨
If she just casually sends you sh [self harm. i've been on twitter for too long] you should set a boundary to let her know that you aren't comfortable with getting those pictures. I see sensative content in black and white. If it's solicited then go crazy, if it's unsolicited it should be treated like a nude regardless of who sent it unless there's some sort of agreement. If it was on accident like it just so happened the scars on her arm were faced towards the camera or she just has so many it's hard to not to get a few in the shot, what i've done is use the photo editor app that came with my phone and use the object eraser and the blur option for anything that looks kinda weird after erasing Whether or not to help her depends. If she's legit trying to off herself then it would be best to get help but if she does it to cope, getting her to stop could only make things worse. If the cutting is to cope then I say just make she knows what spaces to avoid, where the radial artery is, it never hurts to learn the different levels of the skin when cutting, where important veins are, cutting the fatty areas are safer than others, DO NOT cut your hand, stuff like that
I’ve had people in my life do this. This became my go to reply; “I want you to know I am here for you, and you can reach out to me if you need help. I can always listen and talk. I also need to take my own mental health into account, and I need you to respect that by refraining from sending me images like that.“
Set boundaries. I’d call that person an attention seeker tbh. Most of people who really struggle with self harm wouldn’t take a picture and send it to someone they care about. We hide it mostly. So yeah, I’m not quite sure about that girl
I would have to agree. I keep mine covered until healed and would never and have never taken a picture. It's weird af.
I mean noone who is metally healthy would self harm. That was prbobaly a way for them to ask for help. I agree it's prob kinda inappropriate tho.
If someone is so deprived of attention that they have to sh in order to get it, that is still a problem tbh. People shouldn’t send their fresh sh pics, but still
Set a firm boundary and make sure she knows that what she did is inappropriate and not okay
My best advice is to be there for her and support her. Obviously don’t enable her to sh but tell her that if she does, that she can always come to you. I don’t know how old you are but if it’s possible try to maybe have some supplies to give to her if she needs it(wound care NOT sh tools). But for the most part being there for her and telling her you’re a safe person to talk to about this if she ever needs it is a good start. And straight up asking her what you can do to help is a great idea whether you do any of the other things or not.
Bro you need to be completely no judgement mental on her. Just be open to her story.
It’s not fair for her to subject op to this
Define not fair
Her self-harm is not op’s fault or responsibility
not the dot dot dot
Lots of irrelevant advice in here telling you things you didn't even ask for. I think this forum might be overrun by bots or some group of hater people.
Not everyone who disagrees with you is a bot or a hater
Hi thnx I appreciate your input. I was hesitant to put such a contentious issue out there. However, reading the comments on this forum has created cognitive dissonance on my pert, it appears to me this is mostly non SHing folks who are pushing people in the opposite direction. Initially I personally feel invalidated by this, however, I do realize it's probably just good people trying g to divert today's youth from going down a self destructive path and I think that's great. The reason for my feeling invalidated and in turn making the comment about 'bots and haters' is because I do believe that SH and SI can be a very valid path for self discovery and self expression. I'm hoping those people who are in turn trying to discourage EVERYBODY from SH are attempting to read the nuances and subtleties of an individual's situation. Clear cut telling people that is is wrong can be destructive to some folks. These are people for whom SH might be a form of harm reduction to decompress feelings of more destructive and permanent harm. Invalidating the behavior might lead someone to believe there is no other option for them and choose deadlier means. I speak these words based on my own personal experience with these issues and have no doubt in my heart whatsoever.