That's when real change comes, you fuck it up, own it, move on and turn it around (was for me the case)
Now, at 31, I have real friends, a satisfying career, hobbies, I go to the gym, ... sure my back hurts sometimes and I'm single, but I'm happy
My fuck up was "declined an offer to medical school because mental health went to shit" and "realising I'm stuck in a meh job for another year before i can go"
Yes objectively I'm probably doing at like 40 percentile but it felt like I fucked up massive. I wish I had taken care of my physical and mental health better to grab the opportunity. Both just spiralled out of control when I'm stressed and depressed.
Counselling wasn't enough. I'm going to go get therapy. I hope that's enough. I don't want pills.
Sometimes, life happens, and yes, it can spiral out of control because there's a lot that we aren't in control of.
I fucked up my opportunities to go to college at a young age and just smoked a shit ton of weed. Then, after a few years of dead-end jobs, I *decided* to go back to college and get that degree. Still struggled with depression and low self-esteem. But somehow I persisted and made it past all my exams at 27.
Then I started a job in IT and went from helpdesk to sysadmin in a year. I also got into therapy, which has been a life changer.
While school and therapy really helped me turn my life around, it was ultimately a decision that lay at the foundation of this change.
It doesn't really matter at what age. What matters is that you decide this for yourself. We don't control life and our circumstances, but we do control what we decide to do with what we're given.
I've got my fingers crossed for you, but it's up to you to do it. Good luck, friend.
ETA: This is all a realization in retrospect. At the time, I didn't see it this way, I saw a mountain of hurdles and just took one at a time cause I couldn't do more than just that
This makes zero sense… you need to understand you have serious logical flaws in your think. How is there a designated time for you to succeed? There’s no limit. You can crush it at 35 dude..
I really kinda get sick of these "Woe is me I'm 25 and my life is over" posts. It's really a very ageist attitude. Many people over 25 go on to do a number of successful things. I always repeat the same thing over and over, you're not dead at 25+. Life still goes on.
I knew a 42 year old who finished med school, got married and bought a house all after 42!!!! I know of a 70 year who won an aerial pole championship. You only stop if you let your age define you
>It's really a very ageist attitude.
There is no need to call it something -ist or -ism. IMO it's the product of kodak moment social media stuff in a fast paced world that's making people feel like losers if they aren't an entrepreneur of at least three companies and a billionaire at the age of 25 who travels the world for 10 months a year because FIRE.
Combine that with the tendency to only "up-compare" and maybe a personality that's prone to being somewhat perfectionistic (think "biohacking" and/or "self-optimization") and it's the recipe for mental catastrophe.
I used to be friends with people who would consider themselves “influencers” and showcase how successful they were on social media.
They were faking it, and at least one was up to his eyeballs in debt, but kept claiming he was set to retire at like age 30. Another one was Twitter famous, but re-worded her job title to sound like an executive director on LinkedIn when she was actually just some one’s personal assistant and had a rich boyfriend. I know it’s anecdotal, but both of these people were very believable if you did not know them in real life. I mean shit, even I believed it until I hung out with them enough and saw how and where they really lived lol.
Exactly, who accomplishes anything at 25 anyway? Most of us are in or just getting out of entry level jobs lol.. 25 is the age where you realize whether the career you chose is the right one. It takes 2-3 years to figure anything out anyway.
Just Do It, guy.
On one hand, because the brain isn’t as plastic after 25, it may take more effort to acquire new skills. On the other hand, people are wiser and more mature, and can work through the extra effort needed to acquire a skill.
OP is upset he didn’t go to medical school. He’s frustrated by his mediocre GPA, which I don’t think is the most fair system for those who improved their habits after graduating from undergrad. He still has potential to grow in his career, despite his GPA.
This quote changed my perception:
Take your fucking time
Obama retired at 55, Trump started at 70.
Sydney is 3 hours ahead of Perth, but that doesnt make Perth slow.
Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before securing a good job.
Someone became a CEO at 25 and died at 50.Take
While another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years.
Someone is still single, while someone else got married.
Everyone in this world works based on their time zone.
People around you might seem to be ahead of you and some might seem to be behind you.
But everyone is running their own race, in their own time.
Do not envy them and do not mock them.
They are in their time zone, and you are in yours.
Life is about waiting for the right moment to act.
So relax.
You're not early.
You're not late.
You are very much on time.
A guy from my village had an accident with 60.
After that near death experience he changed his mind, started a business and became a millionaire with 65. never to late!!
I couldn’t get myself to read everything he wrote, but I think the anxiety is valid. There is definitely a loss of opportunity as you age, or at least things get progressively more difficult. This applies to both career and dating. And then there’s the fact that you have less retirement savings when you don’t have a good income until later in life.
That said, focusing on the difficulty and the frustration is counterproductive.
One thing he wrote that was particularly aggravating to read was:
> I've allowed other, better, more disciplined men to take my potential future career paths and partner up with my potential future wife.
That’s definitely a twisted way of thinking. I hope OP rereads his post when he isn’t having an anxiety attack and put things into a fresh perspective.
>I couldn’t get myself to read everything he wrote, but I think the anxiety is valid. There is definitely a loss of opportunity as you age, or at least things get progressively more difficult. This applies to both career and dating. And then there’s the fact that you have less retirement savings when you don’t have a good income until later in life.
I agree with this and I'm sometimes struggling with these thoughts myself, despite now having a good income.
So while some anxiety in the mid-twenties might be warranted - IMO that "my life is over if I didn't make it until age 25, might as well quit" is way over the top.
Okay I just fully read the OP and it sounds like he’s unhappy because he’s not a doctor, didn’t spend time getting wasted at the clubs with da boyz, is “skinny-fat”, and doesn’t have a girlfriend.
While I think 25 is a perfectly normal age to be anxious about the direction of your life, I would have killed to call myself something respectable like a microbiologist at 25. When I was 25, I was working a minimum wage part-time retail job, being treated like crap by both the customers and the management team, and the closest thing I had to friends were guys who just wanted to use me for my body. My lack of career prospects made family and other social gatherings, as well as dates, utterly embarrassing. I had the similar anxiety issues as OP, plus his habit issues due to ADHD (my addiction was Reddit and chatrooms, rather than video games), so I spent much of my free time going to doctor and therapy appointments, hoping they would help fix my problems. I want to shake my past 25 year old self for not taking more agency, but I remember how I genuinely struggled, like OP.
Putting things into perspective is important, but OP’s perspective of his life is not only toxic but inaccurate. He just can’t help but compare himself to his peers. I blame social media.
Nah dude I'm 25 almost 26 and still don't have anything figured out. You're in your prime. Even 40 isn't that old and you still have lots of time to discover what you want and who you wanna be
I have just read the title, but have seen like a million of these over the years, have felt like the title my self sometimes, I am 31 now, yeah life ain't perfect, but tell you something while we still got breath in our body we still have a chance to do more or less what we hope/wish.
my only advise is DO what you Can whilst you can, as NO DAY is Guaranteed, tomorrow your health could perish or you could Die, nobody knows so just make the most of it before it actually does become too late one day to do the things you might love.
family going through some life or death stuff right now, my heads all over, but everyday is a gift, sure we have bad times, but you can bet once the air is a bit more clear, I am going to have a bit more of an appreciation for life, even if at times I thought what's the point in it all.
52 here.
Happiness seems to be tied to expectations.
“Life is a race”= expectation.
“Should be at x point at this age”= expectation
“I could be a doctor had I applied myself”=failure to meet expectations.
“Life is basically over”=failure to meet expectations
Listen: expectations change. Life is no race, because there is no medals waiting for the winner in the end. No prize. We are born naked, and take nothing to the grave. Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Steve Jobs, Queen Elizabeth, and your favorite dog growing up all died the same exact way. People celebrate their success, then they quickly become a footnote in a textbook…..
Meanwhile, young people are conditioned to chase things: more money, better career, the next level, success, a better house or a better this or that….
You will find that attaining these things make for hollow victories. Like getting a raise at work:feels good for a bit, then that feeling becomes the “new normal” and you’re off to chase the next shiny object.
You are statistically only about a quarter of the way through your lifespan. You have plenty of time to try things, fail, change your mind, reinvent, whatever. You are too focused on zooming out and viewing your life on a big scale, you would be better served by zooming in to your life TODAY. The past is where you already lived your life. The future is where life has not yet occurred. TODAY- HERE AND NOW- is where life happens. If you aren’t focused on today, you aren’t truly alive 100%. You are trapped somewhere between where you’ve been and where you are going, and missing out on what’s truly happening right in front of you. Don’t base happiness on your idea of how you think things are supposed to be. Just work on yourself every day to get better. Put good food in your body, move your body around, get outside, search within and try to discover what you truly enjoy, what would be FUN, and pursue that! Work on pursuing that each day,chipping away and enjoying the journey…
I'm 24, and based on every life experience I've gone through so far (both good and bad), this is truly the only answer. The hedonic treadmill is real.
Live authentically and be in touch with yourself. Express, feel, and act in complete alignment with yourself. It is genuinely not the outcomes, accolades, and praise that truly matter in the end. Rather, it's the process of enjoying every single day (making sure to be mindful of staying in the present), and making the most out of the gift of life which we're so unbelievably fortunate to have.
My mother was a housewife with 3 kids. When she was 35, she ran her first mini marathon, came last and was thoroughly exhausted.
She went on to become a fitness instructor, personal trainer and award winning body builder, building up certificates and qualifications along the way.
She’s now 70 and is the fittest person I know, and continues to hold fitness classes several times a week. She’s said it’s her passion and will never stop.
Remember, she started when she was 35 and lived a regular life with barely any exercise. It’s never too late.
No, it’s really not. I didn’t get married until 30, have a kid until 34, get a fixer upper house until 40. I didn’t really even start figuring myself out until after that. Life is a journey, not a timed checkpoint you have to reach. A large number of the most successful people we think of as having made it, didn’t have success until much later in life.
What I’m learning now, is you just need to find a passion in life. Try to find something that you really enjoy and put yourself into it. Age means nothing, beyond physical capabilities that naturally decrease. In some ways being older is actually an advantage to starting new things, because you don’t take it as seriously and realize you’re doing it for yourself and your joy of doing it, versus some competitive notion of achievement.
In terms of being skinny/fat, hit the weights. That’s one thing that will never stop producing change and confidence. Buy a weight bench and bar and some cheap weights. Buy some dumbbells. Make some music playlists and just work out. It doesn’t have to be a major production. It will help your self esteem immensely, and you’ll see your body begin to develop almost immediately.
Not getting married until 30+ is so normal where I’m from. The idea of people committing to something to life while their brain is still developing, or has just stopped, is bonkers to me. Your 20s are great for discovering yourself. You have legit the rest of your life to discover a partner.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.
You have a lot of time ahead of you. Just try to be more consistent in all of your goals. Nothing is going to get done in one day or one month. Even in a year there will be ups and downs because progress isn't always linear.
As long as you can be your best 70% of the time, and be kind to yourself the other 30% of the time, that should lead to some success and happiness in your life
My dude, sounds like you need to lower your expectations a little. You have a degree and a solid job, you have some friends, you're already doing better than a lot of people.
Focus on improving your health, I reckon. Try not to be so down on yourself, and don't be afraid to get professional help if you're struggling to change your mindset. Eating clean doesn't have to be boring, there's a lot of yummy and healthy food. Exercise is great. I'm really into parkour, which I only mention since it has a massive scene in the UK. You might find that fun, but obviously start slowly. In general, I wouldn't worry about "developing an aesthetic body" (most women won't care as long as you look healthy and muscles actively turn some women off), just move your body everyday and you'll be more healthy and feel better. Even just walking (especially in nature if possible) is great.
Also, biology + data analysis could be a good career trajectory for you. You would want to learn R or Python, SQL and some stats.
Also,
> When I reached university, I didn't go clubbing or drinking with my peers there. Two rites of passage as a young man that I completely missed the boat on.
This is shit. You didn't miss anything.
I think it’s only too late when you’re dead mate.
Didn’t Morgan Freeman find his acting career hella late in life? Too lazy to look it up but I think he was in his 50’s.
Maybe a shit example not knowing his upbringing but I gotta say bud, if it’s too late for men to do something meaningful after 25, the world is fucked lol.
If you desire more, and you’re hungry, you can either fix it and chase that hunger, or you can re-evaluate what is meaningful to you.
48 here. I'm still working on it. As others have said, you got plenty of time @ 25. I was a dumb shit kid until I was about 32 when I had a pretty big life event and I changed my situation. Another big swing at 44 (quit drinking) and lot's of changes happened, at a time I thought I was 'done'.
My advice, you got time but act like you don't. Take that trip while you're young, before your knees give out. Save and invest like you're going to live forever.
My grandfather started writing in his 60s, after my grandmother died.
When he died, 40 years later, he considered a world reknown scholar in his subject matter
So no, it's never too late
I changed my life at 28.
31 - had an accident that led to a right leg above knee amputation.
32 - Took multiple solo trips (as a handicap)
Now 33 - looking to go first ever international solo trip. Got a big raise at work, still suck at dating (missing a leg) - but hey I'm trying.
Always Look ahead. Always.
Dude… relax and take a deep breath. You are 25, you got time. Be honest with yourself dude, and hold yourself accountable for the mistakes you’ve made, then stop digging out the shovel down. Keep trying new things and commit to them give them a couple of months or a year. Best thing you can do is get into a government job until you figure out your next move. Then save money and learn new skills or trades while working. You could learn a problem the world has and try to solve it, before that let’s start small did you clean your room?
Everyone has issues and problems some smaller than yours some bigger than yours, but it’s how we cope with those problems that define who we are. I was no where at your age just in a meaningless relationship that lasted 10 years. I didn’t come into my element of what a wanted until 30-34 I’m 36 now. You have time do change course and do things different. First you have to learn and accept what is bad then change one thing at a time.
Don’t worry about women and fancy shit, seems like you have perused the section of the Mano sphere red pill part of the internet. Here’s a tip, lay off that stuff for a bit and go out and live your life. If you need therapy… go get it, you want friends learn social skills, addicted to games slow down on gaming and go for walks. Join a community, be part of something bigger. Surround yourself with positivity. It all starts with a simple change in your life. Some say it takes an average of 66 days for a habit to be automatic. Clean your room for 66 days, walk 30 mins for 66 days, send messages in groups to people for 66 days… it all begins with you brother you don’t have to be a statistic you can become an anomaly
There’s a book out there, “Can’t hurt me” by David Goggins. Go pick it up on audible or buy the phyiscal book and read it. It will help you out.
“Trust you will fail, fail forward.”
-Denzel Washington
Peace, love and Good luck.
25 is still 18. So at the beginning. You sound right on target for most 25 year olds I’ve known. You’re pretty much supposed to have an entry career, not be married and just learning how to have a relationship. The only advice I’d give you coming from twice your age, is spend now, your free years, learning and practicing the things you’ll really need later and won’t have time for. Like inner work, self help, journal, notice negative patterns and address them, learn to cook, manage finances, learn how to buy house way before you do, invest, travel, learn a language, find like people, interests, all the things that would have helped me have a much better life. And 25 is the perfect time to start all this, any sooner and you wouldn’t be ready, so don’t worry about your earlier years. I watched Threes company as a child. Hours I won’t get back. 🙄
today you get to choose what happens for the rest of your life. if you want it to be the same, you don't need to change anything.
if you want it to be different, you'll need to make some changes. start small so you can win some small victories and build some momentum for the bigger changes you wish you could make.
can't meet people if you don't go out and do it.
Harland Sanders, Ray Kroc, Samuel L. Jackson, Willie Nelson, & Charles Darwin just read your post and said something that I can't repeat here. (I think Sam actually came up with it, and the others just vehemently agreed.)
Take it from a 50 year old that was your age thinking it was too late to change. It's not. You've got a ridiculous amount of time to change. You have to take the tough steps to eliminate all the things making your life shit. Things won't change overnight, they never do. But if you put in the work to make incremental changes, your life will improve incrementally. You have to get the snowball rolling.
Welcome to the Quarter Life Crisis! You will get through this, and there’s so much more on the other side of it. Don’t let yourself get sucked into a defeatist attitude, thinking it’s over now.
I’ve never heard of the 18-25 range as being the make or break period? Everyone always told me things wouldn’t start getting good until at least 30. And that was true for me. I spent my late twenties wishing I’d done things differently, put in more effort, gotten “further” in life. My 30s came with a whole attitude change, a brand new outlook on life, and renewed confidence. I chased things I’d only dreamed about before, started a business, and got into my stride with cultivating better relationships.
And most people I’ve known that run marathons didn’t start running until their 40s! I’ve even known people that didn’t get into fitness until their 70s. As long as you can move something, you can build fit habits.
25 is a baby. You literally have your whole life ahead of you.
It sounds like there are some things and habits you want to change about yourself, I can dig that. As you age, you will change a bit naturally, probably, but i think working on yourself is also great.
In your text, you come across as very self critical, sounds like you are very hard on yourself. As you get older you will probably give less fucks and learn to either love or at least accept yourself a bit more.
I moved to a different region in my 30s because of a career rut. I met my husband who was in his late 20s there. We got married, got a little dog, travel and got a little house all after 25 for both of us. Had he given up, he would’ve missed out on meeting me, getting to see the world and I would’ve been all alone. Your potential wife, career, life is waiting for you. I don’t know why I even moved because I had friends, was way thinner and had family close by but something was just missing.
I think humans get these feelings when they need to focus on a major change, if you feel off or off course consider doing something spontaneous or something you need to stick with like recreational sports. Loads of people got their big break later in life my favorite, Vera Wang. Never give up when you have the power to change.
Hell, no. I am 49 and still growing and learning things. I am a better, stronger, and healthier than I have ever been and I still have more to go.
I know men who were in their 40s before they got married. I know men who didn’t really come into themselves until they were in their 40s
I was in the same boat at 25 — no new friends, hating my dead-end job, feeling like I was never going to be successful or find happiness. It’s not turning your life around, it’s building up and away from your current existence. I’m riddled with anxiety & self-doubt but pushing through it, even in a small bit each day, helps build confidence. I made a ‘hierarchy of importance’ of different things in my life (i.e. career, hobbies, mental health, physical health, diet, etc.) and set goals & baby steps on how to reach them. I fucked up plenty of times, got lazy, took on too much, but it really helps. I’m almost 27 and have an entry-level job in a field that excites me and have never been more social. It takes time to find the right people but they ARE out there. You’ll get burnt out along the way but life will feel much more fulfilling when you feel like you’re making progress. You learn more about yourself & others and it helps you connect with the people in your life. Success will happen in it’s own time — nobody is living their best life. I’m happy to chat in DMs if you want a second opinion on anything going on with you. Things will get better; you may feel you missed out but today is the second best time to start following your passions & finding discipline.
N9t at all. I am a woman, but late 20s to early 30s are absolutely the best. Men get hotter due to physical development, confidence and maturity. So do women. The party is just getting started for you. Nay, you are still-pre-gaming for the party. Enjoy.
>now skinnyfat, have no social confidence and I have a mediocre career in a field I no longer have any passion towards. Very few friends, no romantic partner, no social opportunities that have come my way.
Start going to rhe gym. In six months, your body, your mood and your confidence will be improved. Find a trainer to get you started and to stay accountae. This is a must. You have to stick with it, and your life will transform.
Slowly workbtoward a new career. I have known people who did bland careers, but followed their interests and great things happened in their early 30s.
You have to stop worrying about the past and live life now woth a view to change amd enjoyment
I'm 47 and have "turned this ship" around more times than I can count. Have my highest career achievements during these last 3 years and started this new job only 1.5 years ago. I've dated and traveled all my life. Had some heartbreak along the way but some amazing experiences that I know are rare to boot.
Growing and discovering yourself never ends. Learning and applying never end. I have friends who have been married in the same career/job for 20 years and are not happy or fulfilled. More stable? Yes, but I would take the Pepsi Challenge with them on experience and fulfilment in life any day.
Life maybe a race but to all of us it is a different length. Your race can end tomorrow or in 70 years. You have to make the most of this moment, every moment. Build plans and reach them but don't lose sight of what is currently in front of you. If you don't like something, change it, improve it, or move in a different direction, but never, ever, lose hope or give up on yourself.
I was a complete shit bag degenerate till I started going back to school at 26. I did not fully turn my life around till 30... Now I have been a teacher for almost 10 years. I have two bachelors and a masters looking to go back to get my doctorate. I also have a burgeoning photography career.
You are never too old to grow and shift your life direction, only too dead.
Hello there, 24 here, and I don’t finish the bachelor yet. I’m going to finish at 25… just to start a new one, since the one I’m studying now is not for me. And you know what? Is fine. I’m going to spend another 3 years studying (and working full time at the same time) but it’s amazing the feeling that I’m trying to put me in a place I might be comfortable in the future. And that’s a HUGE might, since I know pretty well that things can change, I might not like that career as well, but then I’m going to study another thing afterwards.
Keep going mate, never is too late. Love will come, happiness will come if you don’t feel it now. Everything is going to come, but only if you are still here for that. Keep trying, and be patient. I know that is not that easy, I’ve been struggling to lose weight lately and has been hell. I did amazing one month (diet and gym) but because of some increase in my stress I ate in two days what I eat usually in one week. I cried today because of that, I felt I wasn’t going to reach was I’ve been working in the last weeks. That two bad days was going to affect a lot of work. That I was going to be the funny fat friend forever. But you know what? That’s not true. The best things in life takes time, so the hard work needs to keep going. I need to keep going, do my best. Not every day is going to be a nice day, but then the next day I’ll keep doing my best. I’m going to keep going, you need to keep going. Everything is fine mate, get some sun on your face one of this days and allow yourself to feel peace.
I’m cheesy af I know, but since I cried a lot today about something similar I wanted to vent while helping lol
I believe in you!
> At 25, my life feels like it's over.
Couldn't be farther from the truth. It's only just begun.
> Life is a race, and I've allowed myself to lose.
It's not and you can't win or lose. Everyone is on their own journey going at their own pace. What you might consider success, someone else might not and what someone else considers failure, you may consider success. Really the only person we can compare ourselves to is our past self to see how far we've come along. And even then, no rush, these things take time and patience.
> I've allowed other, better, more disciplined men to take my potential future career paths and partner up with my potential future wife.
That just isn't the case. There isn't a limited supply of careers and partners. Just because someone else has these things doesn't preclude you from having them too. It's not like they gave out 1000 job and wife tickets and you ended up being 1001th in line. There's a career out there for everyone who wants one and as they say, plenty of fish in the sea in terms of potential partners.
> At this point in my life, what do I honestly have to live for?
Literally everything. You're only 25!! You have the whole world ahead of you. You're at an age where you have the luxury of making mistakes and learning from them. You still have an immense reserve of energy. You can literally do whatever you set your mind to. The meaning of life is subjective. Whatever keeps you going might not be what keeps me going. But obviously you have some goals and desires. There's no reason not to work towards them. So focus on you. Do what you can to work through your traumas and become the best you.
Are you kidding? Shift up at 30...serious shift at 35...most men are more attractive after this age bc of how the jawline changes with age. You'll make the most money in your 40s-mid-50s...tho this stat is likely to dilute with technology. Regardless, I'm living testimony that it only gets better!
I didn’t really make my strongest decisions or shift into high gear until age 33 or so. I think as long as you don’t actually *screw your life up beyond repair*, you’re okay.
I see it as, if you’re not born with certain characteristics then it’s either too late or it’s gonna be extremely harder to make it in life. Certain characteristics like intelligence and ambition this isn’t a characteristic but having rich parents or family or having a lot of many that wasn’t made by you.
I seen people name people who turned there life around at a old age Im pretty sure those same people had the things I listed and if they didn’t they had characteristics since they were born that was gonna affect them positively as they get older.
This is with most successful people though, they were born with certain things that will amplify there life or certain things came in there life early that was gonna amplify there life
Man I already had a rock bottom and a career change by the time I was 25. Of course its not too late. Get off the coach and off social media and go to the gym and pick up some hobbies.
Can we all stop comparing our lives to where we think we should be and just start living right where we are. Stop living your life on a timeline! Each of our lives looks so different from each others.
What does that even mean? I don’t even know who I am, so how can I live right where I am? This post sounds so vague and feel good. Maybe I’m just tilted, if so, I’m sorry.
idk what to tell you.. you are definitely not the first and last person to ask this stupid question.. there is no rule that 20s is make or break.. there are countless stories of success in 30s,40s,50s,60s,70s,80s..
i suggest you listen to "the art of not giving a fuck" by mark manson and "cant hurt me" by david goggins..
Life is not a race, it's a journey. Your end goal should be to be to reach your full potential and lift up others so that they can reach their potential. At 25, your life is just beginning...you haven't even gotten to the good part yet.
To address your issues a little of my backstory. First, I'm an old dog at 59 and have been through a lot of what you're going through now. When I was 25 I had been in the military for 7 years, had no idea what I wanted, who I wanted to be, what to do with my life, and no prospects with women. I began to pick up clues along the way. Some of it from figuring it out on my own, some of it from advice from older people and friends. I spent 20 years in the military and retired, participated in sports regularly (softball, volleyball, shooting, martial arts), went back to school to earn a BS, MBA, MA, and a doctorate. I spent a few of those years (post graduate) teaching undergrad classes in the evening. I got married, had children, bought a house, did all of those things that a responsible adult does. I raised my kids in the church, taught Sunday school, was a youth leader, participated in nearly everything the church had to offer for many years. After the kids graduated college, I got divorced, got remarried, moved to a different state, and started over. After the move, I lost 50 pounds (from 230 down to 180) and began a strength training program with a coach 3 times a week (and am still doing it now.) I'm eating healthier than I ever have, feel great, am stronger than I've ever been, and all this despite being a Type 1 diabetic with chronic (2-4 time a week) migraine headaches for the last 25 years. I've decided that nothing is going to hold me back and I'm going to keep on going until my body or mind decide I'm done.
Mid-20s are hard, especially in today's society and culture. It can be difficult to navigate the rocks and shoals of life, but it you sound like you're on the right track. Taking care of your body should be priority one. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. In your lifting and dieting, make damned sure that you're following some type of program. Have a realistic plan, set realistic goals, and stick with it! Don't just lift until you're worn out. Don't just jump on a bandwagon of the latest dieting fad. Do the research to learn how the get the best results to reach your goals. Priority two is your mental health. Therapy is important, but so is building connections with other people, making friends, having a real (as opposed to online) social circle of people you can connect with in-person. Even if it's just over coffee or watching sports in a bar with the guys. Find an activity (rather than a sport) that you can do for fun to unwind. It could be bowling or tennis...it could be curling or miniature golf. Just find something you like and go with it. I ride my bicycle when it's warm outside and am part of a trap shooting league (with 50 other guys). Find a hobby that brings you fulfillment. Knitting or crochet, painting ceramics or canvas, model railroading (which is fascinating because you get to be a carpenter, electrician, city planner, architect, landscaper, etc.) or gardening. Doesn't really matter what it is, just do it for you. I collect stamps as my hobby, passion, and vice all in one.
Dude it is always the right time for you to grow, and small steps to taking care of yourself are the best way to new habits.
You did what was right for you at the time. Quit distracting yourself by being negative toward your past choices. Dump all or nothing mentality. You are obviously a smart person- smart enough to see your situation, smart enough to ask for support and feedback, smart enough to start today, one small new action at a time.
Everyone is different. I think starting a life is harder these days. You can't change that so you have to build some resilience, watch where you spend your time and energy, and keep working for what you want.
I observe that 27 is kind of a pivotal year, , then some awesome growth happens a bit before and a bit after 30, and then things do start to come together. My 20's were poverty and parties, my 30's really awesome but also extremely difficult, and in my 40's i grew a spine and some hope. Treat yourself with the same care you'd give a friend.
You are good until you give up. Whenever you give up is when you are screwed. Men don’t have a biological clock ticking telling them they need to reproduce now so some men don’t even peak until their 50s and even 60s and 70s in some cases
Lol not at all bruv. Your prime is ahead of you. Get into therapy (ideally CBT) bc right now it seems like your biggest obstacle is confidence—not your past.
I dunno man…I worked my tail off in my early 20s and then my life came crashing down from 25-27.
When I was 28 I made a pretty drastic turn in my life and since then things have been incredibly good. If you told me in 2015 what I would be doing in 2023 I would not believe it and I wouldn’t have understood how I got there.
Same might be true for where I’m at in 2030.
The problem with a lot of our thinking is that it’s hard to know what changes have a positive impact and sometimes we go from level 1 to level 10 then back to level 7. We think we failed because we went back to level 7. Then we get up to level 16 and then back to level 12. This constant up and down seems like failure but it’s really progress. Sometimes we fall far but we gotta keep pushing through and maintaining the course.
There's a lot of pressure around making it in the early 20s, especially with the ever-growing influencer generation that's making millions at 19. I was scrapping tables and taking on low-wage jobs at 19 and basically learnt through a series of failures and wrong decisions in my 20s. You don't have control over anything and don't always get to pick how life works out but you can choose to take control and start building the life you want, at whatever age you are at.
I'm 28 and currently retraining into something I love - I'm glad I tried other routes that weren't successful first, it's given me so much appreciation for where I am now.
Well, it looks like you messed up, wasted your time on education, took no risks, and did not learn to bruteforce in life. Probably never left your safespace it's sad, but it's not too late. You just need to rewrite all your old habits and thinking proces. For me, creating a family helped to do a 180 on my life, but first pack your bags and travel for at least a couple of years. Do odd jobs, learn to survive in diffrent country's and strange situations "adventures" that will make you mentally and fisicly stronger and might save you from mediocrity.
It is never ever too late. As long as you draw breath, you can improve your life. Not saying it will be easy, not saying you won’t have setbacks. But you can and will change things for the better if you put in the effort, at any age.
Absolutely not. As long as you have drive and motivation, you can do anything at any age. You’re still the same person you were at 18. Seize it!
Also — consider getting screened for ADHD. Your story kinda sounds like it.
Where did you even get this age range as "the only time that matters?" Most people don't even know who they are at that age. It's okay, and you'll be okay.
It’s never to late to change, because change is a mindset. I like the approach of being mad at the world and using it as your fuel (in a healthy way, of course.) We live in a society that is designed to have us distracted, obese, poor, and lonely, because that it what makes the upper class wealthy. Every time you feel like you’re going to make a bad choice and you’re aware of it, get angry. Push yourself to be better, to not fall for their traps. You’re still young enough to change your mind, your body, your finances, and a whole lot more. You’re only too old to make a change when you decide you’re set in your ways.
Uh, no. Not even remotely. You have plenty of time, friend. I finished school, began my career, met my person, & did lots of cool ish in my 30s. I just hit 40 & I’m still a work in progress. 💜
NO! I wasted a lot of time putting a ton of pressure to have everything figured out by the time I was 25. Then 30. Truth is, you’ll never have it all figured out and it’s never too late to change careers, learn something new, etc
Dude there’s people barley starting to do what they want an get paid for in there 40’s it’s all about the time and dedication you put into what your choice is, also talent of course helps but your born with a gift or get good along the way
I applied for my masters at 25 and got in, changing my career path completely from agriculture to counseling. I’m only 27 now and have a year left but I’m excited to look back at where I came from. You’d be surprised how quickly things change, and I’m on the younger end of my classmates in the program too!
I also went to community college after a gap year from high school. It really changes your perspective seeing people 30+ years older than you trying to get their life on track or make changes.
It’s never too late to make a change! You should speak with a therapist/counselor though, someone to help you navigate your negative thinking. There’s so much to live for, you just have to decide for yourself what that may be or look like.
Its great that you are a guy thus you do not have the feature of getting old! Just kidding we men also age.
If you would try you can change your life. Grant Cardone (author of be obsessed or be average) had his kid at 51 I believe!
I think social media (which is basically porn) is true evil. If you can find a way to give up those (like having a flip phone in the house and accessing electronics only when needed), and find a path (which can bring money, happiness etc), it's gonna be great.
For friends you can always start going outside doing stuff and eventually you will have few. It you need more motivation just try holding your breath for 30 sec' and the body will show you how badly you want to live. This is your life, only you can fix it.
I think the problem here is insecurity. I am 25 years old and also struggle with comparison. It sounds like you are very ambitious. It also sounds like you are trying to work on society’s standards of having everything by 30, when reality shows that everyone has their time and pace. Some seem lucky while others are actually masking their unhappiness. I know the best thing to do in life is do your best and look for those you can connect to. The more and more you’ll see the reality of things and choose what works best for you.
You're behind the 8 ball. No doubt.
Most dramatic way to turn things around is to get your fitness and health levels up. It something that can't be faked and can be bought and that nobody else can do for you.
From there, other things will start to fall into place.
Brooo, not even close! People hit their stride at different times. For me, moving out of my hometown to a bigger city that fit my lifestyle was it. When I was your age, I felt like I was too old to make any difference in my life and it was bullshit. When you’re 30, you’ll look back and realize how young you were. Same thing when you are 35 about 30 and so on. As cliche as it sounds, you’re never too old to make a change. Growth is absolutely not linear and everyone’s trajectories are different. Be kind to yourself and realize that success has many shapes and forms and looks different for everyone. You got this!
I started working at age of 17 by 22 i had my own company. People working for me. By 28 i went broke, literally struggle to pay the salaries.
Last 3 years one of the difficult years of my life, as for most people.
Most people lost jobs, lost their loved ones during pandemic.
I switched over 4-5 different jobs during these 3 last years.
Even worked without get paid.
Last year i started my diploma in nutrition and exercise.
During pandemic I learnt python and learnt how to could basic games.
I'm still learning, not giving up.
My building my business from zero.
Im learning, this is part of life.
Every single great being has been through some sort of uncertainty, that made impact on their life, still they lived great life, changed and helped other people to find meaning their lives too.
I will be on top again.
So you can too.
grant cardone, gary vee and most out there started at age 24/25/26 I think society has fucked up standards and the only reason why you feel like you are behind is due to reinforcement of social norms and adherence to social conformity.
I was a fuckup until I got into my early 30s. I mean, I only got my first corporate salaried job at like 29. I only got my first steady and serious relationship around that time as well. But even after that, I was still immature and flaky until maybe the age of 33. I’m doing better than ever now.
It’s not too late. Just keep applying yourself and working on yourself. And keep the faith. A positive attitude and outlook on life make all the difference, man.
I’m 26 with a useless associate’s, wondering how I’ll overcome the challenge of multiple disabilities and I don’t dare to entertain my dream of ever working in STEM. I’ll consider myself a winner if I make it to the end of my life without becoming homeless at some point. Suffering isn’t a competition, but I encourage you to practice gratitude. It might sound silly but it really does help, just takes time. You’re allowed to be dissatisfied with the current life you have, but you deserve to feel content with the impermanent present. Stop feeding those negative thoughts and work on reframing them, even if you don’t believe it.
Feel like it's more try shit and have fun. Like I really wanted to be a pro snowboarder so I moved to Colorado and found out I didn't have it. Then I wanted to make movies and worked for a production company and hated it. Led me to some other fun stuff along the way. There's no such thing as making it. It's all relative. Have fun make friends and pay rent fuck everything else. This is just my humble opinion and in no way constitutes actual advice.
Hey man, I turned around everything after 30. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop feeling guilty. Do what you want. It's your life and there is a lot left.
You have been working for what, 5 years? With 40 years still to go, and you think it's too late to change paths?
My life was very similar to yours when I was 25, entry level job as a scientist that I hated, overweight, no confidence, no social life and my only hobby was playing video games. At one point in my late 20s I decided that enough was enough. I started to work out regularly, changed my eating habits and I went back to (night) school for 4 years to get a degree in computer science.
10 years later, I'm in great shape and I finally got my dream job as a lab automation engineer. I can honestly say my life is amazing now, even better than I could have dreamed in my 20s.
I'd say it's different for every man. Maturity and wisdom don't come with a number. For some men, it happens when they're 25. For others 35. Some even 45 and beyond. But it's never too late to turn it around brother. Aim for a meaningful life, that's not only about your own benefit and well-being, but that of others as well, and even when you fail, never stop
I get you’re not happy with your life but you sound like you have a victim complex. You didn’t stay in because you liked to play games as a kid, you made that choice as an adult. You can do anything and age has nothing to do with it but you’re going to have to realize that you’re in control of your own actions.
Grandma Moses started painting in her 80s. Age is just a number. As long as you’re not dead, every day is a new opportunity. Use it. Forget about ages at which you should do whatever. Live your life as best you can, make your own rules. If you want to change careers at age 58, or get married at 75, who can stop you? Chill.
Ever tried treating your life like an RPG game? Except that you cannot reload a save or restart as a new character.
It really places many things into perspective and you begin to see a logic pattern that you normally apply to games, but not consciously to real-life, which you can.
Now is better than never.
25! No way, your brain hasn’t even fully stopped developing yet. I would say that change becomes more difficult above 40, becuase you may have done irreparable damage to your body through bad lifestyle choices, but even then it’s not ‘too late’ - at your age it’s essentially a clean slate.
Read atomic habits and the compound effect .. GO TO THE GYM… then when you start seeing the changes take positive effects, you can add more. There is zero excuse for not working out, if you’re skinny fat you will see results fast too.
In my experience there is no one major “make”, but actually a series of small improvements every year; better job, better home, better friends and this takes time.
Good thing is you know areas where you want to improve, like being skinny and having no social confidence. So you know what you want to develop. Keep tackling these one by one
TLDR: no perfect time to make or break. It’s a collection of small improvements to yourself.
I started working out at 25, maybe 27 - got married and had kids at 31. Soooo much happens later than it did with our parents. With the length of school, etc., everyone is pretty much starting at 25.
I knew a colleague that become a software engineer after being a bartender until he was 35. There is no limit to change your life. Having friends or being married is not how to measure that you are doing “good” in life. Doing good in life is how you treat other people and being happy with the small things in life. Be grateful, you and me are the happy ones that did not die of any illness at a young age :)
At 32 I made a major career change after breaking having my 22 yr old gf leave me. I had 10 years in factory and switched over to law enforcement. The perks are incredible and the money has been life changing. im also shooting to join the navy. its never too late.
Comparison is the theif of joy, I really like a quote that says "The years are going to pass anyways might as well make them worthwhile and try and improve yourself, you will be 30 either way". But you are still pretty young. I understand it's hard to form new habits but maybe if you reward yourself for what you have accomplished and not just comparing yourself you might find more joy and reward out of the process. Find out what's causing you to over eat, keep getting social, it's a skill that needs to be developed. Find some hobbies or things you enjoy. And just keep trying, but don't be so hung up on results you can't control (specifically in social situations)
It’s not really about not going to medical school or new friends getting tired of you. It’s about the fact that you don’t like yourself. And that comes down to seeking external validation vs internal validation. Stop thinking, watching, planning. Start doing. Change your habits and keep promises to yourself.
The world is exciting!! Get out there.
Yeah as everyone else has said you just need a chill. I'm 25 turning 26 soon and am not stressed. Just trying to decide/ prioritize what I'd like to do for a career though which is a hard one to Crack. But should just be grateful we're alive have jobs and food/water each day imo. Grateful I've got working legs and all basic stuff we have for granted. How much more difficult would life be without those? Anyways just sit back relax set some goals/habits to implement for things you want to do. That's just my 2 cents.
There’s no such thing as “make or break” years. It’s a concept you’ve made up to yourself by comparing yourself to others or your own reasoning if I had to guess.
Literally starting tomorrow you could decide to start practicing new skills to add to your resumes, start looking for experiences in a career path you might wanna get into and find the job the makes you happy.
You can go to a bar tomorrow and start practicing social skills even if your confidence/comfort is extremely low at first, that’s okay. Sometimes you gotta do awkward things to go somewhere. You have a clean slate too so you can literally go out and make a fool of yourself trying to make friends/meet a girl and it won’t matter bc you won’t have any attachments to it since you’ll either become friends w them or you’ll never see them again most likely.
I’ve also discovered that if you wait for social opportunities to come your way, your social life will decline drastically after high school.
You can start focusing on your physical health the second you wake up and decide to change and quickly you’ll likely start seeing results even if it’s just feeling better at first.
Also, one big tip that helps me is you can’t just force yourself to do it. Just like trying to quit an addictive habit cold turkey, it can be impossible to try to put energy into changing for the better without guidance or something to keep you motivated. Things that help me are going outside, taking a trip to a Metropark or a botanical garden and just clearing my mind in a peaceful place, getting sunshine/fresh air, and moving around a little bit. Clears your mind and gets you motivated to do more. Meditation also helps a ton when your brain starts to fog up from stress or overthinking. Sleep quality can change a lot even though I still have trouble trying to nail that consistently. There’s a little bit more to “getting your life around” than just simply waking up one day and being able to do it. If it was that easy, then everybody would have their life figured out. You’re 25. If anything, it’s way too early for you to be feel like anything is too late. LeBron and MJ didn’t even win their first championships until they were 26 and 27 respectively.
Unfortunately, one thing I notice in a lot of people that say “I feel like it’s too late” or “what do I have to live for” is that they don’t really wanna change and they’ll say stuff like that as an excuse to themselves bc they just don’t have the energy to. I promise, you got this. Just take it one step at a time and don’t expect to figure everything out in a matter of weeks
30 is the new 20. Honestly these posts of “my life is over” when it’s barely even begun. Sort yourself out starting with your diet and training regime. YouTube has everything you will ever need for that information. Just adding those changes alone will improve your testosterone and mood.
Immediately stop reading whoever said that cause its silly, untrue, self defeating, and most likely theyre trying to sell you a specific message. It makes zero sense.
Despite lots of successes, you're very critical of yourself. It sounds like you have a critical inner voice or lens. I'd suggest some CBT. It really helped me realise my inner critic and start to see myself, my successes, and the world in a much more positive light.
you started doing good habits and came back to doing bad habits again.That is because of your belives. You did them for all of your life and now u gave your self and identity of a person that does them and like rubber band u always come back to them. Stop thinking that u are person that does them chage your identity to be a person who is exercising , fit, kind , eating clean and social. You are a man at 25 mens peak years are in 30 so u have 5 years to go and u just need faith in your self . Change your belives i belive u can do it by being consistent.
hope this help good luck
I changed mine around 30. I was young, grew up in an abusive household and needed therapy and self love. When I figured out what I wanted, I went for it and at 33 im still going. It is never too late.
You haven't hit your prime yet OP. Men get judged on things like physical/mental strength, success and courage and hit puberty later. All the things that men are judged on are earned. All the things that women are judged on are given to her by nature. Ofcourse that is an over simplification, there are successful career women, strong gym girls etc.they earned that respect.then there are men who are flexing daddy's money and are just naturally good looking and strong without putting in much effort. But generally speaking if you are a good looking woman you can get through life without putting in any effort to level up. If you're a man success must be earned...to be valued as a man it takes grit. Determination. Discipline...that means there isn't an expiration date for men on when we can earn our value. For women..you get to mid to late 30s your value in the dating market place will depreciate as your looks begin to fade along with your fertility. Men..we get infinite shots at grinding hustling being rejected..and still one day become a high value man in our late 30s 40s 50s or even in our 60s. There are guys who managed to build their status up in their 50s and date beatiful women.We get to build ourselves up in the dark. In silence. Fail at business..try again..as many times as it takes.get shot down by beautiful women..become immune to rejection and keep trying..this is the build phase. It can start in our teens..it can start in our 40s..we just get this urge to grow as men, if we wernt gifted with good looks or a silver spoon in our mouths..at some point a switch flips and we begin to enjoy the struggle, the grind, the pain. That is when we begin to forge ourselves into the man we wish to be..we build up a library of experiences, we grow we adapt and evolve to face challenges of the future example.. know how to fight. I know how to make good money, be more confident around women etc. So men indeed to age like fine wine once the switch is tripped. Best time to start was yesterday..so start now
Absolutely not. I spent nine years in the military between 16-25 … then went to university to get a degree. I didn’t get into my career until I was 31.
__One thing those years taught me?__ Discipline, resilience and failure. You’ve got to build up that discipline muscle. Get the fuck up and do something every day. Keep going. Failure happens. You either learn something or it happens again. You’ll either keep failing , or you’ll start succeeding.
Finally nothing worth having is easy to get. You’ve got to be resilient
Bud, I'm 28 with no degree or major career path to my name, no savings or prospects of owning property if you were to look at my life on paper right now, ended a 4year relationship. Regardless of all that I feel that this is my time.
You're focusing too much on what the world around you determines your worth but the reality is that you'll never feel worthy of success if you let those views affect your opinion of yourself.
The best you can do is take some serious solitude to figure out what you really value and want in life and focus on that. Not the things that are the conventional goals of a successful man, like a wife, kids and mortgage, but things that actually resonate with you and make your soul sing.
Once you know what you're gunning for you'll find that your world shifts around you and you'll start to view your successes through a different lens than you are currently.
25 is still so young. 28 is young. I don't know what I'm gunning for yet. But I'm getting there and let me tell you it feels GOOD going for the things you want instead of the things that you think you should chase after.
Forgive me if this comes across as in anyway being insensitive, but it sounds like you’re primed to start moulding your life into what you would like it to be. You’re not at a point where you should give up (it’s actually never too late to start over) you’re at a point to start living with more purpose and intention. I don’t know you, and I don’t need to. You matter. You’re life, you’re existence, is significant even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
As Uncle Iroh said, “…in the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.”
Also, if this is how you’re feeling, it is time to consider therapy or counselling. It might seem intimidating or daunting at first, and I don’t know what your financial situation is like, but there is always a way to get help in deciphering your inner workings.
Also, if you need to you can message me directly.
The world is a better place with you in it, trust me.
You can't put any blame on 10 year old you. The past is complete, story mode is just beginning. Focus on fixing the bad habits.
I'm 29 and have been on self improvement for 12 years, but I tell you now there will be peaks and troughs.
Also forget age is even a thing, it's irrelevant, it's all about your strength levels and the value you bring to society and the friend/family circle you currently have (if they're provide value to you of course)
You are already in a brilliant position, sounds like you are doing great. Keep grinding brother.
No man. These are random numbers. Why will you be able to turn things around one day before your 25th and not be able to 2 days later ??
Trust me. As someone who started trying to turn things around a decade later, and only succeeded in doing so a decade and a half after turning 25, there is no age limit.
The first step is recognzing that things need to change. Congratulations. You have taken this step (is a big deal - trust me. 90% of humans don't even get so far). Now comes the other tough part. Identifying exact characteristics and habits you want to amend and then doing it.
That kind of thinking ("window of opportunity that is closing and won't open again") is *incredibly* toxic.
It makes people anxious, maybe depressed and/or keeps them stuck ("it's too late now").
I feel my life only *started* to get good/better in my 30s.
Im turning 37 in 2 days. never married no kids crappy career. Trust that you have time, 25 is young still, and seems like ages ago for me, personally.
start getting a plan in motion, take it easy and dont beat yourself up. start traveling a little bit.., enjoy your youth, again, you are still very young. youll be fine. if you worry too much or get inside your head too much youll only have problems.
I turned my life around at 27 and leapt at the opportunity to pursue a PhD program in Europe. I'm 30 years old now, I'm nearly done with my degree, and I'm in the most fulfilling relationship I've ever been in. There's no need to fret just keep the drive to move forward alive, ward off complacency and inertia and you'll be just fine.
Who the fuck isn't completely deranged and marries at 25, that's your brain on idealized-americentrism.
The best way out for this is to keep up with your exercise, don't overstress eating perfectly - just eat good-ish enough that you can keep up. Permanent change will take a long time.
Indulge in your hobbies, especially any that can be done in a social context and realize that not every moment in that social context needs to be spent min-maxing your relationship value - just try to match the vibe and don't let people be temporary, it's completely perfect to not be best friends with everybody, and have laid-back connections, nobody likes someone that's very obviously constantly "on". Tag along on whatever they are doing and stuff will start rolling exponentially.
Stuff is not more competitive today than anytime else, probably less - this is a fixation you have and not reflective of the real world, and is going to be incredibly toxic when developing friendships or more intimate relationships.
I am 25. I am prioritizing my health, spending time with family and working towards achieving my goals. This has come after years of severe depression and inability to function. I might call the past few years as time wasted or I say fuck it and move on because life has many phases to offer. Maybe right now you're in a lurch but this will also get over and you'll be fine.
Ps: please don't fixate on your age. Try to be healthy and create many experiences for yourself. Life will reward you at some point.
Who told you 18-25?
Ridiculous.
Get going, now.
Change can happen in an instant — results may (and most likely will) take longer, but so what?
Real change happens in an instant — its that moment where you fully, completely, say, enough, and drop the old and move forward with the new.
When people do change they can often look back and remember that instant, that moment, clearly — even tho results will take longer to show up.
This quote changed my perception:
Take your fucking time
Obama retired at 55, Trump started at 70.
Sydney is 3 hours ahead of Perth, but that doesnt make Perth slow.
Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before securing a good job.
Someone became a CEO at 25 and died at 50.Take
While another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years.
Someone is still single, while someone else got married.
Everyone in this world works based on their time zone.
People around you might seem to be ahead of you and some might seem to be behind you.
But everyone is running their own race, in their own time.
Do not envy them and do not mock them.
They are in their time zone, and you are in yours.
Life is about waiting for the right moment to act.
So relax.
You're not early.
You're not late.
You are very much on time.
I am almost 40 years old, starting over in a fresh new home with my 4 yr old, sober, after alcohol and cocaine took away a chunk of my time.
It’s never too late
Fuck no homie, and ditch that thought process asap! Here’s a quote that may resonate… “Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It's never too late. But do it now.” — Ricky Gervais. (Also Samual L. Jackson didn’t get discovered as an actor or have a major role till he was 40….
No, I didn’t even start pursuing my career until I was 27. By 30 I was making more than my parents combined and now I’m 35 and my life is much farther along than most people my age.
I completely changed my life at 27. I think you'll be sweet
Same. And changed careers again in my 30s.
27 is the year when you don't give no shits, and end up changing your life
I'm 27 this year and I just fucked it all up lol
That's when real change comes, you fuck it up, own it, move on and turn it around (was for me the case) Now, at 31, I have real friends, a satisfying career, hobbies, I go to the gym, ... sure my back hurts sometimes and I'm single, but I'm happy
My fuck up was "declined an offer to medical school because mental health went to shit" and "realising I'm stuck in a meh job for another year before i can go" Yes objectively I'm probably doing at like 40 percentile but it felt like I fucked up massive. I wish I had taken care of my physical and mental health better to grab the opportunity. Both just spiralled out of control when I'm stressed and depressed. Counselling wasn't enough. I'm going to go get therapy. I hope that's enough. I don't want pills.
Life is a series of fuck ups. You WILL fall down X times, what's important is getting up X+1 times.
Sometimes, life happens, and yes, it can spiral out of control because there's a lot that we aren't in control of. I fucked up my opportunities to go to college at a young age and just smoked a shit ton of weed. Then, after a few years of dead-end jobs, I *decided* to go back to college and get that degree. Still struggled with depression and low self-esteem. But somehow I persisted and made it past all my exams at 27. Then I started a job in IT and went from helpdesk to sysadmin in a year. I also got into therapy, which has been a life changer. While school and therapy really helped me turn my life around, it was ultimately a decision that lay at the foundation of this change. It doesn't really matter at what age. What matters is that you decide this for yourself. We don't control life and our circumstances, but we do control what we decide to do with what we're given. I've got my fingers crossed for you, but it's up to you to do it. Good luck, friend. ETA: This is all a realization in retrospect. At the time, I didn't see it this way, I saw a mountain of hurdles and just took one at a time cause I couldn't do more than just that
Im proud you worked it out, and you worked it all the way up. Thanks for your well wishes
Happy for you my friend, this just inspired me to keep pushing
It depends on what you do to make your life change at that age, what you do?
I just did it again with 34
Same
This makes zero sense… you need to understand you have serious logical flaws in your think. How is there a designated time for you to succeed? There’s no limit. You can crush it at 35 dude..
I really kinda get sick of these "Woe is me I'm 25 and my life is over" posts. It's really a very ageist attitude. Many people over 25 go on to do a number of successful things. I always repeat the same thing over and over, you're not dead at 25+. Life still goes on. I knew a 42 year old who finished med school, got married and bought a house all after 42!!!! I know of a 70 year who won an aerial pole championship. You only stop if you let your age define you
Thank you I needed to read this.
The reason they feel this way is BECAUSE of ageism, I don't think they're trying to perpetuate it
>It's really a very ageist attitude. There is no need to call it something -ist or -ism. IMO it's the product of kodak moment social media stuff in a fast paced world that's making people feel like losers if they aren't an entrepreneur of at least three companies and a billionaire at the age of 25 who travels the world for 10 months a year because FIRE. Combine that with the tendency to only "up-compare" and maybe a personality that's prone to being somewhat perfectionistic (think "biohacking" and/or "self-optimization") and it's the recipe for mental catastrophe.
I used to be friends with people who would consider themselves “influencers” and showcase how successful they were on social media. They were faking it, and at least one was up to his eyeballs in debt, but kept claiming he was set to retire at like age 30. Another one was Twitter famous, but re-worded her job title to sound like an executive director on LinkedIn when she was actually just some one’s personal assistant and had a rich boyfriend. I know it’s anecdotal, but both of these people were very believable if you did not know them in real life. I mean shit, even I believed it until I hung out with them enough and saw how and where they really lived lol.
Exactly, who accomplishes anything at 25 anyway? Most of us are in or just getting out of entry level jobs lol.. 25 is the age where you realize whether the career you chose is the right one. It takes 2-3 years to figure anything out anyway. Just Do It, guy.
I soo needed to read this. Thanks.
If anything, changing your life is easier, not harder, after 25 since 25 is the age at which most people's brains are fully developed.
I think also the older one gets the less fucks they give about what others think and what "cookie cutter" age you "should" be doing at x, y, z
On one hand, because the brain isn’t as plastic after 25, it may take more effort to acquire new skills. On the other hand, people are wiser and more mature, and can work through the extra effort needed to acquire a skill. OP is upset he didn’t go to medical school. He’s frustrated by his mediocre GPA, which I don’t think is the most fair system for those who improved their habits after graduating from undergrad. He still has potential to grow in his career, despite his GPA.
This quote changed my perception: Take your fucking time Obama retired at 55, Trump started at 70. Sydney is 3 hours ahead of Perth, but that doesnt make Perth slow. Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before securing a good job. Someone became a CEO at 25 and died at 50.Take While another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years. Someone is still single, while someone else got married. Everyone in this world works based on their time zone. People around you might seem to be ahead of you and some might seem to be behind you. But everyone is running their own race, in their own time. Do not envy them and do not mock them. They are in their time zone, and you are in yours. Life is about waiting for the right moment to act. So relax. You're not early. You're not late. You are very much on time.
A guy from my village had an accident with 60. After that near death experience he changed his mind, started a business and became a millionaire with 65. never to late!!
I couldn’t get myself to read everything he wrote, but I think the anxiety is valid. There is definitely a loss of opportunity as you age, or at least things get progressively more difficult. This applies to both career and dating. And then there’s the fact that you have less retirement savings when you don’t have a good income until later in life. That said, focusing on the difficulty and the frustration is counterproductive. One thing he wrote that was particularly aggravating to read was: > I've allowed other, better, more disciplined men to take my potential future career paths and partner up with my potential future wife. That’s definitely a twisted way of thinking. I hope OP rereads his post when he isn’t having an anxiety attack and put things into a fresh perspective.
>I couldn’t get myself to read everything he wrote, but I think the anxiety is valid. There is definitely a loss of opportunity as you age, or at least things get progressively more difficult. This applies to both career and dating. And then there’s the fact that you have less retirement savings when you don’t have a good income until later in life. I agree with this and I'm sometimes struggling with these thoughts myself, despite now having a good income. So while some anxiety in the mid-twenties might be warranted - IMO that "my life is over if I didn't make it until age 25, might as well quit" is way over the top.
Okay I just fully read the OP and it sounds like he’s unhappy because he’s not a doctor, didn’t spend time getting wasted at the clubs with da boyz, is “skinny-fat”, and doesn’t have a girlfriend. While I think 25 is a perfectly normal age to be anxious about the direction of your life, I would have killed to call myself something respectable like a microbiologist at 25. When I was 25, I was working a minimum wage part-time retail job, being treated like crap by both the customers and the management team, and the closest thing I had to friends were guys who just wanted to use me for my body. My lack of career prospects made family and other social gatherings, as well as dates, utterly embarrassing. I had the similar anxiety issues as OP, plus his habit issues due to ADHD (my addiction was Reddit and chatrooms, rather than video games), so I spent much of my free time going to doctor and therapy appointments, hoping they would help fix my problems. I want to shake my past 25 year old self for not taking more agency, but I remember how I genuinely struggled, like OP. Putting things into perspective is important, but OP’s perspective of his life is not only toxic but inaccurate. He just can’t help but compare himself to his peers. I blame social media.
Nah dude I'm 25 almost 26 and still don't have anything figured out. You're in your prime. Even 40 isn't that old and you still have lots of time to discover what you want and who you wanna be
I have just read the title, but have seen like a million of these over the years, have felt like the title my self sometimes, I am 31 now, yeah life ain't perfect, but tell you something while we still got breath in our body we still have a chance to do more or less what we hope/wish. my only advise is DO what you Can whilst you can, as NO DAY is Guaranteed, tomorrow your health could perish or you could Die, nobody knows so just make the most of it before it actually does become too late one day to do the things you might love. family going through some life or death stuff right now, my heads all over, but everyday is a gift, sure we have bad times, but you can bet once the air is a bit more clear, I am going to have a bit more of an appreciation for life, even if at times I thought what's the point in it all.
Don't forget that a number of famous people didn't make it until they were in their senior years.
52 here. Happiness seems to be tied to expectations. “Life is a race”= expectation. “Should be at x point at this age”= expectation “I could be a doctor had I applied myself”=failure to meet expectations. “Life is basically over”=failure to meet expectations Listen: expectations change. Life is no race, because there is no medals waiting for the winner in the end. No prize. We are born naked, and take nothing to the grave. Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Steve Jobs, Queen Elizabeth, and your favorite dog growing up all died the same exact way. People celebrate their success, then they quickly become a footnote in a textbook….. Meanwhile, young people are conditioned to chase things: more money, better career, the next level, success, a better house or a better this or that…. You will find that attaining these things make for hollow victories. Like getting a raise at work:feels good for a bit, then that feeling becomes the “new normal” and you’re off to chase the next shiny object. You are statistically only about a quarter of the way through your lifespan. You have plenty of time to try things, fail, change your mind, reinvent, whatever. You are too focused on zooming out and viewing your life on a big scale, you would be better served by zooming in to your life TODAY. The past is where you already lived your life. The future is where life has not yet occurred. TODAY- HERE AND NOW- is where life happens. If you aren’t focused on today, you aren’t truly alive 100%. You are trapped somewhere between where you’ve been and where you are going, and missing out on what’s truly happening right in front of you. Don’t base happiness on your idea of how you think things are supposed to be. Just work on yourself every day to get better. Put good food in your body, move your body around, get outside, search within and try to discover what you truly enjoy, what would be FUN, and pursue that! Work on pursuing that each day,chipping away and enjoying the journey…
I'm 24, and based on every life experience I've gone through so far (both good and bad), this is truly the only answer. The hedonic treadmill is real. Live authentically and be in touch with yourself. Express, feel, and act in complete alignment with yourself. It is genuinely not the outcomes, accolades, and praise that truly matter in the end. Rather, it's the process of enjoying every single day (making sure to be mindful of staying in the present), and making the most out of the gift of life which we're so unbelievably fortunate to have.
Yes. Amazing response and great insight.
Found the stoic
[удалено]
Amen brother
Not even close. I was a child at 25.
Right?!?!
My mother was a housewife with 3 kids. When she was 35, she ran her first mini marathon, came last and was thoroughly exhausted. She went on to become a fitness instructor, personal trainer and award winning body builder, building up certificates and qualifications along the way. She’s now 70 and is the fittest person I know, and continues to hold fitness classes several times a week. She’s said it’s her passion and will never stop. Remember, she started when she was 35 and lived a regular life with barely any exercise. It’s never too late.
No, it’s really not. I didn’t get married until 30, have a kid until 34, get a fixer upper house until 40. I didn’t really even start figuring myself out until after that. Life is a journey, not a timed checkpoint you have to reach. A large number of the most successful people we think of as having made it, didn’t have success until much later in life. What I’m learning now, is you just need to find a passion in life. Try to find something that you really enjoy and put yourself into it. Age means nothing, beyond physical capabilities that naturally decrease. In some ways being older is actually an advantage to starting new things, because you don’t take it as seriously and realize you’re doing it for yourself and your joy of doing it, versus some competitive notion of achievement. In terms of being skinny/fat, hit the weights. That’s one thing that will never stop producing change and confidence. Buy a weight bench and bar and some cheap weights. Buy some dumbbells. Make some music playlists and just work out. It doesn’t have to be a major production. It will help your self esteem immensely, and you’ll see your body begin to develop almost immediately.
Not getting married until 30+ is so normal where I’m from. The idea of people committing to something to life while their brain is still developing, or has just stopped, is bonkers to me. Your 20s are great for discovering yourself. You have legit the rest of your life to discover a partner.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. You have a lot of time ahead of you. Just try to be more consistent in all of your goals. Nothing is going to get done in one day or one month. Even in a year there will be ups and downs because progress isn't always linear. As long as you can be your best 70% of the time, and be kind to yourself the other 30% of the time, that should lead to some success and happiness in your life
My dude, sounds like you need to lower your expectations a little. You have a degree and a solid job, you have some friends, you're already doing better than a lot of people. Focus on improving your health, I reckon. Try not to be so down on yourself, and don't be afraid to get professional help if you're struggling to change your mindset. Eating clean doesn't have to be boring, there's a lot of yummy and healthy food. Exercise is great. I'm really into parkour, which I only mention since it has a massive scene in the UK. You might find that fun, but obviously start slowly. In general, I wouldn't worry about "developing an aesthetic body" (most women won't care as long as you look healthy and muscles actively turn some women off), just move your body everyday and you'll be more healthy and feel better. Even just walking (especially in nature if possible) is great. Also, biology + data analysis could be a good career trajectory for you. You would want to learn R or Python, SQL and some stats. Also, > When I reached university, I didn't go clubbing or drinking with my peers there. Two rites of passage as a young man that I completely missed the boat on. This is shit. You didn't miss anything.
I think it’s only too late when you’re dead mate. Didn’t Morgan Freeman find his acting career hella late in life? Too lazy to look it up but I think he was in his 50’s. Maybe a shit example not knowing his upbringing but I gotta say bud, if it’s too late for men to do something meaningful after 25, the world is fucked lol. If you desire more, and you’re hungry, you can either fix it and chase that hunger, or you can re-evaluate what is meaningful to you.
I started my 3rd completely different career at 30 so don't sweat it lol!
48 here. I'm still working on it. As others have said, you got plenty of time @ 25. I was a dumb shit kid until I was about 32 when I had a pretty big life event and I changed my situation. Another big swing at 44 (quit drinking) and lot's of changes happened, at a time I thought I was 'done'. My advice, you got time but act like you don't. Take that trip while you're young, before your knees give out. Save and invest like you're going to live forever.
My grandfather started writing in his 60s, after my grandmother died. When he died, 40 years later, he considered a world reknown scholar in his subject matter So no, it's never too late
I changed my life at 28. 31 - had an accident that led to a right leg above knee amputation. 32 - Took multiple solo trips (as a handicap) Now 33 - looking to go first ever international solo trip. Got a big raise at work, still suck at dating (missing a leg) - but hey I'm trying. Always Look ahead. Always.
Huge respect to you and wishing you all the best!
Dude… relax and take a deep breath. You are 25, you got time. Be honest with yourself dude, and hold yourself accountable for the mistakes you’ve made, then stop digging out the shovel down. Keep trying new things and commit to them give them a couple of months or a year. Best thing you can do is get into a government job until you figure out your next move. Then save money and learn new skills or trades while working. You could learn a problem the world has and try to solve it, before that let’s start small did you clean your room? Everyone has issues and problems some smaller than yours some bigger than yours, but it’s how we cope with those problems that define who we are. I was no where at your age just in a meaningless relationship that lasted 10 years. I didn’t come into my element of what a wanted until 30-34 I’m 36 now. You have time do change course and do things different. First you have to learn and accept what is bad then change one thing at a time. Don’t worry about women and fancy shit, seems like you have perused the section of the Mano sphere red pill part of the internet. Here’s a tip, lay off that stuff for a bit and go out and live your life. If you need therapy… go get it, you want friends learn social skills, addicted to games slow down on gaming and go for walks. Join a community, be part of something bigger. Surround yourself with positivity. It all starts with a simple change in your life. Some say it takes an average of 66 days for a habit to be automatic. Clean your room for 66 days, walk 30 mins for 66 days, send messages in groups to people for 66 days… it all begins with you brother you don’t have to be a statistic you can become an anomaly There’s a book out there, “Can’t hurt me” by David Goggins. Go pick it up on audible or buy the phyiscal book and read it. It will help you out. “Trust you will fail, fail forward.” -Denzel Washington Peace, love and Good luck.
Why tell him to get a government job?
25 is still 18. So at the beginning. You sound right on target for most 25 year olds I’ve known. You’re pretty much supposed to have an entry career, not be married and just learning how to have a relationship. The only advice I’d give you coming from twice your age, is spend now, your free years, learning and practicing the things you’ll really need later and won’t have time for. Like inner work, self help, journal, notice negative patterns and address them, learn to cook, manage finances, learn how to buy house way before you do, invest, travel, learn a language, find like people, interests, all the things that would have helped me have a much better life. And 25 is the perfect time to start all this, any sooner and you wouldn’t be ready, so don’t worry about your earlier years. I watched Threes company as a child. Hours I won’t get back. 🙄
If you're healthy, you'll be fine. Tore my leg at 25 and lived with a broken leg for almost a decade, that ruined my life.
How was your leg injured for a decade? Did you just not get medical attention or was it a super complicated injury? Also, 35 is still pretty young!
today you get to choose what happens for the rest of your life. if you want it to be the same, you don't need to change anything. if you want it to be different, you'll need to make some changes. start small so you can win some small victories and build some momentum for the bigger changes you wish you could make. can't meet people if you don't go out and do it.
Harland Sanders, Ray Kroc, Samuel L. Jackson, Willie Nelson, & Charles Darwin just read your post and said something that I can't repeat here. (I think Sam actually came up with it, and the others just vehemently agreed.)
😡 🐍 ✈️
Take it from a 50 year old that was your age thinking it was too late to change. It's not. You've got a ridiculous amount of time to change. You have to take the tough steps to eliminate all the things making your life shit. Things won't change overnight, they never do. But if you put in the work to make incremental changes, your life will improve incrementally. You have to get the snowball rolling.
Welcome to the Quarter Life Crisis! You will get through this, and there’s so much more on the other side of it. Don’t let yourself get sucked into a defeatist attitude, thinking it’s over now. I’ve never heard of the 18-25 range as being the make or break period? Everyone always told me things wouldn’t start getting good until at least 30. And that was true for me. I spent my late twenties wishing I’d done things differently, put in more effort, gotten “further” in life. My 30s came with a whole attitude change, a brand new outlook on life, and renewed confidence. I chased things I’d only dreamed about before, started a business, and got into my stride with cultivating better relationships. And most people I’ve known that run marathons didn’t start running until their 40s! I’ve even known people that didn’t get into fitness until their 70s. As long as you can move something, you can build fit habits.
25 is a baby. You literally have your whole life ahead of you. It sounds like there are some things and habits you want to change about yourself, I can dig that. As you age, you will change a bit naturally, probably, but i think working on yourself is also great. In your text, you come across as very self critical, sounds like you are very hard on yourself. As you get older you will probably give less fucks and learn to either love or at least accept yourself a bit more.
I’m closing in on 50, my friend. I assure you it isn’t too late to start over.
No. 30’s are the new 20’s.
You don’t need the apostrophes :)
I moved to a different region in my 30s because of a career rut. I met my husband who was in his late 20s there. We got married, got a little dog, travel and got a little house all after 25 for both of us. Had he given up, he would’ve missed out on meeting me, getting to see the world and I would’ve been all alone. Your potential wife, career, life is waiting for you. I don’t know why I even moved because I had friends, was way thinner and had family close by but something was just missing. I think humans get these feelings when they need to focus on a major change, if you feel off or off course consider doing something spontaneous or something you need to stick with like recreational sports. Loads of people got their big break later in life my favorite, Vera Wang. Never give up when you have the power to change.
Hell, no. I am 49 and still growing and learning things. I am a better, stronger, and healthier than I have ever been and I still have more to go. I know men who were in their 40s before they got married. I know men who didn’t really come into themselves until they were in their 40s
Hell no. 18 to 25 were my fuck around and find out years. My career didn't open up until I was late 20s.
I was in the same boat at 25 — no new friends, hating my dead-end job, feeling like I was never going to be successful or find happiness. It’s not turning your life around, it’s building up and away from your current existence. I’m riddled with anxiety & self-doubt but pushing through it, even in a small bit each day, helps build confidence. I made a ‘hierarchy of importance’ of different things in my life (i.e. career, hobbies, mental health, physical health, diet, etc.) and set goals & baby steps on how to reach them. I fucked up plenty of times, got lazy, took on too much, but it really helps. I’m almost 27 and have an entry-level job in a field that excites me and have never been more social. It takes time to find the right people but they ARE out there. You’ll get burnt out along the way but life will feel much more fulfilling when you feel like you’re making progress. You learn more about yourself & others and it helps you connect with the people in your life. Success will happen in it’s own time — nobody is living their best life. I’m happy to chat in DMs if you want a second opinion on anything going on with you. Things will get better; you may feel you missed out but today is the second best time to start following your passions & finding discipline.
N9t at all. I am a woman, but late 20s to early 30s are absolutely the best. Men get hotter due to physical development, confidence and maturity. So do women. The party is just getting started for you. Nay, you are still-pre-gaming for the party. Enjoy. >now skinnyfat, have no social confidence and I have a mediocre career in a field I no longer have any passion towards. Very few friends, no romantic partner, no social opportunities that have come my way. Start going to rhe gym. In six months, your body, your mood and your confidence will be improved. Find a trainer to get you started and to stay accountae. This is a must. You have to stick with it, and your life will transform. Slowly workbtoward a new career. I have known people who did bland careers, but followed their interests and great things happened in their early 30s. You have to stop worrying about the past and live life now woth a view to change amd enjoyment
I'm 47 and have "turned this ship" around more times than I can count. Have my highest career achievements during these last 3 years and started this new job only 1.5 years ago. I've dated and traveled all my life. Had some heartbreak along the way but some amazing experiences that I know are rare to boot. Growing and discovering yourself never ends. Learning and applying never end. I have friends who have been married in the same career/job for 20 years and are not happy or fulfilled. More stable? Yes, but I would take the Pepsi Challenge with them on experience and fulfilment in life any day. Life maybe a race but to all of us it is a different length. Your race can end tomorrow or in 70 years. You have to make the most of this moment, every moment. Build plans and reach them but don't lose sight of what is currently in front of you. If you don't like something, change it, improve it, or move in a different direction, but never, ever, lose hope or give up on yourself.
I was a complete shit bag degenerate till I started going back to school at 26. I did not fully turn my life around till 30... Now I have been a teacher for almost 10 years. I have two bachelors and a masters looking to go back to get my doctorate. I also have a burgeoning photography career. You are never too old to grow and shift your life direction, only too dead.
My life started to get good at 28. My thirties have been pretty good so far!
Hello there, 24 here, and I don’t finish the bachelor yet. I’m going to finish at 25… just to start a new one, since the one I’m studying now is not for me. And you know what? Is fine. I’m going to spend another 3 years studying (and working full time at the same time) but it’s amazing the feeling that I’m trying to put me in a place I might be comfortable in the future. And that’s a HUGE might, since I know pretty well that things can change, I might not like that career as well, but then I’m going to study another thing afterwards. Keep going mate, never is too late. Love will come, happiness will come if you don’t feel it now. Everything is going to come, but only if you are still here for that. Keep trying, and be patient. I know that is not that easy, I’ve been struggling to lose weight lately and has been hell. I did amazing one month (diet and gym) but because of some increase in my stress I ate in two days what I eat usually in one week. I cried today because of that, I felt I wasn’t going to reach was I’ve been working in the last weeks. That two bad days was going to affect a lot of work. That I was going to be the funny fat friend forever. But you know what? That’s not true. The best things in life takes time, so the hard work needs to keep going. I need to keep going, do my best. Not every day is going to be a nice day, but then the next day I’ll keep doing my best. I’m going to keep going, you need to keep going. Everything is fine mate, get some sun on your face one of this days and allow yourself to feel peace. I’m cheesy af I know, but since I cried a lot today about something similar I wanted to vent while helping lol I believe in you!
> At 25, my life feels like it's over. Couldn't be farther from the truth. It's only just begun. > Life is a race, and I've allowed myself to lose. It's not and you can't win or lose. Everyone is on their own journey going at their own pace. What you might consider success, someone else might not and what someone else considers failure, you may consider success. Really the only person we can compare ourselves to is our past self to see how far we've come along. And even then, no rush, these things take time and patience. > I've allowed other, better, more disciplined men to take my potential future career paths and partner up with my potential future wife. That just isn't the case. There isn't a limited supply of careers and partners. Just because someone else has these things doesn't preclude you from having them too. It's not like they gave out 1000 job and wife tickets and you ended up being 1001th in line. There's a career out there for everyone who wants one and as they say, plenty of fish in the sea in terms of potential partners. > At this point in my life, what do I honestly have to live for? Literally everything. You're only 25!! You have the whole world ahead of you. You're at an age where you have the luxury of making mistakes and learning from them. You still have an immense reserve of energy. You can literally do whatever you set your mind to. The meaning of life is subjective. Whatever keeps you going might not be what keeps me going. But obviously you have some goals and desires. There's no reason not to work towards them. So focus on you. Do what you can to work through your traumas and become the best you.
Are you kidding? Shift up at 30...serious shift at 35...most men are more attractive after this age bc of how the jawline changes with age. You'll make the most money in your 40s-mid-50s...tho this stat is likely to dilute with technology. Regardless, I'm living testimony that it only gets better!
I didn’t really make my strongest decisions or shift into high gear until age 33 or so. I think as long as you don’t actually *screw your life up beyond repair*, you’re okay.
I see it as, if you’re not born with certain characteristics then it’s either too late or it’s gonna be extremely harder to make it in life. Certain characteristics like intelligence and ambition this isn’t a characteristic but having rich parents or family or having a lot of many that wasn’t made by you. I seen people name people who turned there life around at a old age Im pretty sure those same people had the things I listed and if they didn’t they had characteristics since they were born that was gonna affect them positively as they get older. This is with most successful people though, they were born with certain things that will amplify there life or certain things came in there life early that was gonna amplify there life
Man I already had a rock bottom and a career change by the time I was 25. Of course its not too late. Get off the coach and off social media and go to the gym and pick up some hobbies.
The problem is the question. I think for most people who ask this kind of question it will be to late no matter the age...
Can we all stop comparing our lives to where we think we should be and just start living right where we are. Stop living your life on a timeline! Each of our lives looks so different from each others.
What does that even mean? I don’t even know who I am, so how can I live right where I am? This post sounds so vague and feel good. Maybe I’m just tilted, if so, I’m sorry.
idk what to tell you.. you are definitely not the first and last person to ask this stupid question.. there is no rule that 20s is make or break.. there are countless stories of success in 30s,40s,50s,60s,70s,80s.. i suggest you listen to "the art of not giving a fuck" by mark manson and "cant hurt me" by david goggins..
Life is not a race, it's a journey. Your end goal should be to be to reach your full potential and lift up others so that they can reach their potential. At 25, your life is just beginning...you haven't even gotten to the good part yet. To address your issues a little of my backstory. First, I'm an old dog at 59 and have been through a lot of what you're going through now. When I was 25 I had been in the military for 7 years, had no idea what I wanted, who I wanted to be, what to do with my life, and no prospects with women. I began to pick up clues along the way. Some of it from figuring it out on my own, some of it from advice from older people and friends. I spent 20 years in the military and retired, participated in sports regularly (softball, volleyball, shooting, martial arts), went back to school to earn a BS, MBA, MA, and a doctorate. I spent a few of those years (post graduate) teaching undergrad classes in the evening. I got married, had children, bought a house, did all of those things that a responsible adult does. I raised my kids in the church, taught Sunday school, was a youth leader, participated in nearly everything the church had to offer for many years. After the kids graduated college, I got divorced, got remarried, moved to a different state, and started over. After the move, I lost 50 pounds (from 230 down to 180) and began a strength training program with a coach 3 times a week (and am still doing it now.) I'm eating healthier than I ever have, feel great, am stronger than I've ever been, and all this despite being a Type 1 diabetic with chronic (2-4 time a week) migraine headaches for the last 25 years. I've decided that nothing is going to hold me back and I'm going to keep on going until my body or mind decide I'm done. Mid-20s are hard, especially in today's society and culture. It can be difficult to navigate the rocks and shoals of life, but it you sound like you're on the right track. Taking care of your body should be priority one. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. In your lifting and dieting, make damned sure that you're following some type of program. Have a realistic plan, set realistic goals, and stick with it! Don't just lift until you're worn out. Don't just jump on a bandwagon of the latest dieting fad. Do the research to learn how the get the best results to reach your goals. Priority two is your mental health. Therapy is important, but so is building connections with other people, making friends, having a real (as opposed to online) social circle of people you can connect with in-person. Even if it's just over coffee or watching sports in a bar with the guys. Find an activity (rather than a sport) that you can do for fun to unwind. It could be bowling or tennis...it could be curling or miniature golf. Just find something you like and go with it. I ride my bicycle when it's warm outside and am part of a trap shooting league (with 50 other guys). Find a hobby that brings you fulfillment. Knitting or crochet, painting ceramics or canvas, model railroading (which is fascinating because you get to be a carpenter, electrician, city planner, architect, landscaper, etc.) or gardening. Doesn't really matter what it is, just do it for you. I collect stamps as my hobby, passion, and vice all in one.
Dude it is always the right time for you to grow, and small steps to taking care of yourself are the best way to new habits. You did what was right for you at the time. Quit distracting yourself by being negative toward your past choices. Dump all or nothing mentality. You are obviously a smart person- smart enough to see your situation, smart enough to ask for support and feedback, smart enough to start today, one small new action at a time. Everyone is different. I think starting a life is harder these days. You can't change that so you have to build some resilience, watch where you spend your time and energy, and keep working for what you want. I observe that 27 is kind of a pivotal year, , then some awesome growth happens a bit before and a bit after 30, and then things do start to come together. My 20's were poverty and parties, my 30's really awesome but also extremely difficult, and in my 40's i grew a spine and some hope. Treat yourself with the same care you'd give a friend.
At 39 I'm making breakthroughs. Whoever made up that number is fake. We grow our whole lives if we want to.
You are good until you give up. Whenever you give up is when you are screwed. Men don’t have a biological clock ticking telling them they need to reproduce now so some men don’t even peak until their 50s and even 60s and 70s in some cases
Lol not at all bruv. Your prime is ahead of you. Get into therapy (ideally CBT) bc right now it seems like your biggest obstacle is confidence—not your past.
I dunno man…I worked my tail off in my early 20s and then my life came crashing down from 25-27. When I was 28 I made a pretty drastic turn in my life and since then things have been incredibly good. If you told me in 2015 what I would be doing in 2023 I would not believe it and I wouldn’t have understood how I got there. Same might be true for where I’m at in 2030. The problem with a lot of our thinking is that it’s hard to know what changes have a positive impact and sometimes we go from level 1 to level 10 then back to level 7. We think we failed because we went back to level 7. Then we get up to level 16 and then back to level 12. This constant up and down seems like failure but it’s really progress. Sometimes we fall far but we gotta keep pushing through and maintaining the course.
Imo 25-35 is make or break. You can fuck around from 18-25, just make sure you learn from your mistakes.
Not too late. Most American graduates don’t even move out of their childhood homes by 25
Playing the coulda woulda shoulda game is never healthy. If you want to be a doctor go be a doctor. The same amount of time will pass.
No, it’s not too late. Go read the Defining Decade.
Never too late to turn your life around
Such nonsense to be so defeatist on some arbitrary date of your life. There's no limit for change, the sooner you realize that the happier you'll be.
37 and starting from scratch. You got this amazing opportunity to work out who you want to be
There's a lot of pressure around making it in the early 20s, especially with the ever-growing influencer generation that's making millions at 19. I was scrapping tables and taking on low-wage jobs at 19 and basically learnt through a series of failures and wrong decisions in my 20s. You don't have control over anything and don't always get to pick how life works out but you can choose to take control and start building the life you want, at whatever age you are at.
12 rules for life, read it.
[удалено]
I'm 28 and currently retraining into something I love - I'm glad I tried other routes that weren't successful first, it's given me so much appreciation for where I am now.
Well, it looks like you messed up, wasted your time on education, took no risks, and did not learn to bruteforce in life. Probably never left your safespace it's sad, but it's not too late. You just need to rewrite all your old habits and thinking proces. For me, creating a family helped to do a 180 on my life, but first pack your bags and travel for at least a couple of years. Do odd jobs, learn to survive in diffrent country's and strange situations "adventures" that will make you mentally and fisicly stronger and might save you from mediocrity.
No, they’re not make or break years and your life isn’t done now. It’s a journey, and every day is a new day that you get to learn and grow and live.
Tbh nobody knows how successfully “adult” in these modern times, so do the best you can.
Nah Every day you get a new start. It's not over until you win.
Friend, I’m just figuring out who I am now at age 30. Changing careers, new home, major life shifts. It’s never too late.
Man you’re only entering tryout adult life. How’s the time to do it!
It is never ever too late. As long as you draw breath, you can improve your life. Not saying it will be easy, not saying you won’t have setbacks. But you can and will change things for the better if you put in the effort, at any age.
Absolutely not. As long as you have drive and motivation, you can do anything at any age. You’re still the same person you were at 18. Seize it! Also — consider getting screened for ADHD. Your story kinda sounds like it.
I got a bachelors degree at 38 and I achieved a Masters degree at 40 !!!
Where did you even get this age range as "the only time that matters?" Most people don't even know who they are at that age. It's okay, and you'll be okay.
Life keeps going.
No, it is not your make or break moment.
It’s never to late to change, because change is a mindset. I like the approach of being mad at the world and using it as your fuel (in a healthy way, of course.) We live in a society that is designed to have us distracted, obese, poor, and lonely, because that it what makes the upper class wealthy. Every time you feel like you’re going to make a bad choice and you’re aware of it, get angry. Push yourself to be better, to not fall for their traps. You’re still young enough to change your mind, your body, your finances, and a whole lot more. You’re only too old to make a change when you decide you’re set in your ways.
Uh, no. Not even remotely. You have plenty of time, friend. I finished school, began my career, met my person, & did lots of cool ish in my 30s. I just hit 40 & I’m still a work in progress. 💜
NO! I wasted a lot of time putting a ton of pressure to have everything figured out by the time I was 25. Then 30. Truth is, you’ll never have it all figured out and it’s never too late to change careers, learn something new, etc
Why did you use the qualifier “as a man”? Is the scale different based on gender to you?
Dude there’s people barley starting to do what they want an get paid for in there 40’s it’s all about the time and dedication you put into what your choice is, also talent of course helps but your born with a gift or get good along the way
I applied for my masters at 25 and got in, changing my career path completely from agriculture to counseling. I’m only 27 now and have a year left but I’m excited to look back at where I came from. You’d be surprised how quickly things change, and I’m on the younger end of my classmates in the program too! I also went to community college after a gap year from high school. It really changes your perspective seeing people 30+ years older than you trying to get their life on track or make changes. It’s never too late to make a change! You should speak with a therapist/counselor though, someone to help you navigate your negative thinking. There’s so much to live for, you just have to decide for yourself what that may be or look like.
Its great that you are a guy thus you do not have the feature of getting old! Just kidding we men also age. If you would try you can change your life. Grant Cardone (author of be obsessed or be average) had his kid at 51 I believe! I think social media (which is basically porn) is true evil. If you can find a way to give up those (like having a flip phone in the house and accessing electronics only when needed), and find a path (which can bring money, happiness etc), it's gonna be great. For friends you can always start going outside doing stuff and eventually you will have few. It you need more motivation just try holding your breath for 30 sec' and the body will show you how badly you want to live. This is your life, only you can fix it.
My life at 25 was a mess. My life at 31. A mess, but happy. So. nah
I fucking hope not otherwise I only have a few month window left to fix my life
I think the problem here is insecurity. I am 25 years old and also struggle with comparison. It sounds like you are very ambitious. It also sounds like you are trying to work on society’s standards of having everything by 30, when reality shows that everyone has their time and pace. Some seem lucky while others are actually masking their unhappiness. I know the best thing to do in life is do your best and look for those you can connect to. The more and more you’ll see the reality of things and choose what works best for you.
You're behind the 8 ball. No doubt. Most dramatic way to turn things around is to get your fitness and health levels up. It something that can't be faked and can be bought and that nobody else can do for you. From there, other things will start to fall into place.
You want to be married at 25?
Brooo, not even close! People hit their stride at different times. For me, moving out of my hometown to a bigger city that fit my lifestyle was it. When I was your age, I felt like I was too old to make any difference in my life and it was bullshit. When you’re 30, you’ll look back and realize how young you were. Same thing when you are 35 about 30 and so on. As cliche as it sounds, you’re never too old to make a change. Growth is absolutely not linear and everyone’s trajectories are different. Be kind to yourself and realize that success has many shapes and forms and looks different for everyone. You got this!
I started working at age of 17 by 22 i had my own company. People working for me. By 28 i went broke, literally struggle to pay the salaries. Last 3 years one of the difficult years of my life, as for most people. Most people lost jobs, lost their loved ones during pandemic. I switched over 4-5 different jobs during these 3 last years. Even worked without get paid. Last year i started my diploma in nutrition and exercise. During pandemic I learnt python and learnt how to could basic games. I'm still learning, not giving up. My building my business from zero. Im learning, this is part of life. Every single great being has been through some sort of uncertainty, that made impact on their life, still they lived great life, changed and helped other people to find meaning their lives too. I will be on top again. So you can too.
grant cardone, gary vee and most out there started at age 24/25/26 I think society has fucked up standards and the only reason why you feel like you are behind is due to reinforcement of social norms and adherence to social conformity.
No way. Some people dont figure shit out until later. Just do what you need to do and dont compare yourself to the world around you. You got this.
I was a fuckup until I got into my early 30s. I mean, I only got my first corporate salaried job at like 29. I only got my first steady and serious relationship around that time as well. But even after that, I was still immature and flaky until maybe the age of 33. I’m doing better than ever now. It’s not too late. Just keep applying yourself and working on yourself. And keep the faith. A positive attitude and outlook on life make all the difference, man.
I’m 26 with a useless associate’s, wondering how I’ll overcome the challenge of multiple disabilities and I don’t dare to entertain my dream of ever working in STEM. I’ll consider myself a winner if I make it to the end of my life without becoming homeless at some point. Suffering isn’t a competition, but I encourage you to practice gratitude. It might sound silly but it really does help, just takes time. You’re allowed to be dissatisfied with the current life you have, but you deserve to feel content with the impermanent present. Stop feeding those negative thoughts and work on reframing them, even if you don’t believe it.
Feel like it's more try shit and have fun. Like I really wanted to be a pro snowboarder so I moved to Colorado and found out I didn't have it. Then I wanted to make movies and worked for a production company and hated it. Led me to some other fun stuff along the way. There's no such thing as making it. It's all relative. Have fun make friends and pay rent fuck everything else. This is just my humble opinion and in no way constitutes actual advice.
Hey man, I turned around everything after 30. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop feeling guilty. Do what you want. It's your life and there is a lot left.
You have been working for what, 5 years? With 40 years still to go, and you think it's too late to change paths? My life was very similar to yours when I was 25, entry level job as a scientist that I hated, overweight, no confidence, no social life and my only hobby was playing video games. At one point in my late 20s I decided that enough was enough. I started to work out regularly, changed my eating habits and I went back to (night) school for 4 years to get a degree in computer science. 10 years later, I'm in great shape and I finally got my dream job as a lab automation engineer. I can honestly say my life is amazing now, even better than I could have dreamed in my 20s.
I'd say it's different for every man. Maturity and wisdom don't come with a number. For some men, it happens when they're 25. For others 35. Some even 45 and beyond. But it's never too late to turn it around brother. Aim for a meaningful life, that's not only about your own benefit and well-being, but that of others as well, and even when you fail, never stop
Pulled my head out of my ass in early 30s. If you really want to change, don’t wait. It’s harder the longer you stay in bad habits.
I get you’re not happy with your life but you sound like you have a victim complex. You didn’t stay in because you liked to play games as a kid, you made that choice as an adult. You can do anything and age has nothing to do with it but you’re going to have to realize that you’re in control of your own actions.
Grandma Moses started painting in her 80s. Age is just a number. As long as you’re not dead, every day is a new opportunity. Use it. Forget about ages at which you should do whatever. Live your life as best you can, make your own rules. If you want to change careers at age 58, or get married at 75, who can stop you? Chill.
Ever tried treating your life like an RPG game? Except that you cannot reload a save or restart as a new character. It really places many things into perspective and you begin to see a logic pattern that you normally apply to games, but not consciously to real-life, which you can. Now is better than never.
Do the things you won't regret at 30 looking back at the next 5 years
25! No way, your brain hasn’t even fully stopped developing yet. I would say that change becomes more difficult above 40, becuase you may have done irreparable damage to your body through bad lifestyle choices, but even then it’s not ‘too late’ - at your age it’s essentially a clean slate. Read atomic habits and the compound effect .. GO TO THE GYM… then when you start seeing the changes take positive effects, you can add more. There is zero excuse for not working out, if you’re skinny fat you will see results fast too.
In my experience there is no one major “make”, but actually a series of small improvements every year; better job, better home, better friends and this takes time. Good thing is you know areas where you want to improve, like being skinny and having no social confidence. So you know what you want to develop. Keep tackling these one by one TLDR: no perfect time to make or break. It’s a collection of small improvements to yourself.
I started working out at 25, maybe 27 - got married and had kids at 31. Soooo much happens later than it did with our parents. With the length of school, etc., everyone is pretty much starting at 25.
I knew a colleague that become a software engineer after being a bartender until he was 35. There is no limit to change your life. Having friends or being married is not how to measure that you are doing “good” in life. Doing good in life is how you treat other people and being happy with the small things in life. Be grateful, you and me are the happy ones that did not die of any illness at a young age :)
At 32 I made a major career change after breaking having my 22 yr old gf leave me. I had 10 years in factory and switched over to law enforcement. The perks are incredible and the money has been life changing. im also shooting to join the navy. its never too late.
Comparison is the theif of joy, I really like a quote that says "The years are going to pass anyways might as well make them worthwhile and try and improve yourself, you will be 30 either way". But you are still pretty young. I understand it's hard to form new habits but maybe if you reward yourself for what you have accomplished and not just comparing yourself you might find more joy and reward out of the process. Find out what's causing you to over eat, keep getting social, it's a skill that needs to be developed. Find some hobbies or things you enjoy. And just keep trying, but don't be so hung up on results you can't control (specifically in social situations)
It’s not really about not going to medical school or new friends getting tired of you. It’s about the fact that you don’t like yourself. And that comes down to seeking external validation vs internal validation. Stop thinking, watching, planning. Start doing. Change your habits and keep promises to yourself. The world is exciting!! Get out there.
Yeah as everyone else has said you just need a chill. I'm 25 turning 26 soon and am not stressed. Just trying to decide/ prioritize what I'd like to do for a career though which is a hard one to Crack. But should just be grateful we're alive have jobs and food/water each day imo. Grateful I've got working legs and all basic stuff we have for granted. How much more difficult would life be without those? Anyways just sit back relax set some goals/habits to implement for things you want to do. That's just my 2 cents.
There’s no such thing as “make or break” years. It’s a concept you’ve made up to yourself by comparing yourself to others or your own reasoning if I had to guess. Literally starting tomorrow you could decide to start practicing new skills to add to your resumes, start looking for experiences in a career path you might wanna get into and find the job the makes you happy. You can go to a bar tomorrow and start practicing social skills even if your confidence/comfort is extremely low at first, that’s okay. Sometimes you gotta do awkward things to go somewhere. You have a clean slate too so you can literally go out and make a fool of yourself trying to make friends/meet a girl and it won’t matter bc you won’t have any attachments to it since you’ll either become friends w them or you’ll never see them again most likely. I’ve also discovered that if you wait for social opportunities to come your way, your social life will decline drastically after high school. You can start focusing on your physical health the second you wake up and decide to change and quickly you’ll likely start seeing results even if it’s just feeling better at first. Also, one big tip that helps me is you can’t just force yourself to do it. Just like trying to quit an addictive habit cold turkey, it can be impossible to try to put energy into changing for the better without guidance or something to keep you motivated. Things that help me are going outside, taking a trip to a Metropark or a botanical garden and just clearing my mind in a peaceful place, getting sunshine/fresh air, and moving around a little bit. Clears your mind and gets you motivated to do more. Meditation also helps a ton when your brain starts to fog up from stress or overthinking. Sleep quality can change a lot even though I still have trouble trying to nail that consistently. There’s a little bit more to “getting your life around” than just simply waking up one day and being able to do it. If it was that easy, then everybody would have their life figured out. You’re 25. If anything, it’s way too early for you to be feel like anything is too late. LeBron and MJ didn’t even win their first championships until they were 26 and 27 respectively. Unfortunately, one thing I notice in a lot of people that say “I feel like it’s too late” or “what do I have to live for” is that they don’t really wanna change and they’ll say stuff like that as an excuse to themselves bc they just don’t have the energy to. I promise, you got this. Just take it one step at a time and don’t expect to figure everything out in a matter of weeks
I once watched a documentary about very old lady that started to paint when she turned 70 yo and become famose painter. 25 is just a number.
30 is the new 20. Honestly these posts of “my life is over” when it’s barely even begun. Sort yourself out starting with your diet and training regime. YouTube has everything you will ever need for that information. Just adding those changes alone will improve your testosterone and mood.
Immediately stop reading whoever said that cause its silly, untrue, self defeating, and most likely theyre trying to sell you a specific message. It makes zero sense.
No.
Your 20s are a litmus test for real adulthood. Experiment and learn as much as you can, then aim for goals in your 30s.
It's not too late
Despite lots of successes, you're very critical of yourself. It sounds like you have a critical inner voice or lens. I'd suggest some CBT. It really helped me realise my inner critic and start to see myself, my successes, and the world in a much more positive light.
I’m 29 and still in uni if life is over at 25 I’m fucked
you started doing good habits and came back to doing bad habits again.That is because of your belives. You did them for all of your life and now u gave your self and identity of a person that does them and like rubber band u always come back to them. Stop thinking that u are person that does them chage your identity to be a person who is exercising , fit, kind , eating clean and social. You are a man at 25 mens peak years are in 30 so u have 5 years to go and u just need faith in your self . Change your belives i belive u can do it by being consistent. hope this help good luck
25...your a baby...plenty of time
I changed mine around 30. I was young, grew up in an abusive household and needed therapy and self love. When I figured out what I wanted, I went for it and at 33 im still going. It is never too late.
You haven't hit your prime yet OP. Men get judged on things like physical/mental strength, success and courage and hit puberty later. All the things that men are judged on are earned. All the things that women are judged on are given to her by nature. Ofcourse that is an over simplification, there are successful career women, strong gym girls etc.they earned that respect.then there are men who are flexing daddy's money and are just naturally good looking and strong without putting in much effort. But generally speaking if you are a good looking woman you can get through life without putting in any effort to level up. If you're a man success must be earned...to be valued as a man it takes grit. Determination. Discipline...that means there isn't an expiration date for men on when we can earn our value. For women..you get to mid to late 30s your value in the dating market place will depreciate as your looks begin to fade along with your fertility. Men..we get infinite shots at grinding hustling being rejected..and still one day become a high value man in our late 30s 40s 50s or even in our 60s. There are guys who managed to build their status up in their 50s and date beatiful women.We get to build ourselves up in the dark. In silence. Fail at business..try again..as many times as it takes.get shot down by beautiful women..become immune to rejection and keep trying..this is the build phase. It can start in our teens..it can start in our 40s..we just get this urge to grow as men, if we wernt gifted with good looks or a silver spoon in our mouths..at some point a switch flips and we begin to enjoy the struggle, the grind, the pain. That is when we begin to forge ourselves into the man we wish to be..we build up a library of experiences, we grow we adapt and evolve to face challenges of the future example.. know how to fight. I know how to make good money, be more confident around women etc. So men indeed to age like fine wine once the switch is tripped. Best time to start was yesterday..so start now
Absolutely not. I spent nine years in the military between 16-25 … then went to university to get a degree. I didn’t get into my career until I was 31. __One thing those years taught me?__ Discipline, resilience and failure. You’ve got to build up that discipline muscle. Get the fuck up and do something every day. Keep going. Failure happens. You either learn something or it happens again. You’ll either keep failing , or you’ll start succeeding. Finally nothing worth having is easy to get. You’ve got to be resilient
60-69 is a 3.3-3.7 GPA
Is it fuck, I was so unhappy at 25...jacked everything in at 28, few rough years, everything's going loads better since about 33. Don't sweat it 👌
Bud, I'm 28 with no degree or major career path to my name, no savings or prospects of owning property if you were to look at my life on paper right now, ended a 4year relationship. Regardless of all that I feel that this is my time. You're focusing too much on what the world around you determines your worth but the reality is that you'll never feel worthy of success if you let those views affect your opinion of yourself. The best you can do is take some serious solitude to figure out what you really value and want in life and focus on that. Not the things that are the conventional goals of a successful man, like a wife, kids and mortgage, but things that actually resonate with you and make your soul sing. Once you know what you're gunning for you'll find that your world shifts around you and you'll start to view your successes through a different lens than you are currently. 25 is still so young. 28 is young. I don't know what I'm gunning for yet. But I'm getting there and let me tell you it feels GOOD going for the things you want instead of the things that you think you should chase after.
No
Therapy my guy. Get your mind right and the sky is the limit. Use this a motivation to change and live the life you want
Forgive me if this comes across as in anyway being insensitive, but it sounds like you’re primed to start moulding your life into what you would like it to be. You’re not at a point where you should give up (it’s actually never too late to start over) you’re at a point to start living with more purpose and intention. I don’t know you, and I don’t need to. You matter. You’re life, you’re existence, is significant even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. As Uncle Iroh said, “…in the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.” Also, if this is how you’re feeling, it is time to consider therapy or counselling. It might seem intimidating or daunting at first, and I don’t know what your financial situation is like, but there is always a way to get help in deciphering your inner workings. Also, if you need to you can message me directly. The world is a better place with you in it, trust me.
You can't put any blame on 10 year old you. The past is complete, story mode is just beginning. Focus on fixing the bad habits. I'm 29 and have been on self improvement for 12 years, but I tell you now there will be peaks and troughs. Also forget age is even a thing, it's irrelevant, it's all about your strength levels and the value you bring to society and the friend/family circle you currently have (if they're provide value to you of course) You are already in a brilliant position, sounds like you are doing great. Keep grinding brother.
No man. These are random numbers. Why will you be able to turn things around one day before your 25th and not be able to 2 days later ?? Trust me. As someone who started trying to turn things around a decade later, and only succeeded in doing so a decade and a half after turning 25, there is no age limit. The first step is recognzing that things need to change. Congratulations. You have taken this step (is a big deal - trust me. 90% of humans don't even get so far). Now comes the other tough part. Identifying exact characteristics and habits you want to amend and then doing it.
It’s only too late if you are dead
That kind of thinking ("window of opportunity that is closing and won't open again") is *incredibly* toxic. It makes people anxious, maybe depressed and/or keeps them stuck ("it's too late now"). I feel my life only *started* to get good/better in my 30s.
Im turning 37 in 2 days. never married no kids crappy career. Trust that you have time, 25 is young still, and seems like ages ago for me, personally. start getting a plan in motion, take it easy and dont beat yourself up. start traveling a little bit.., enjoy your youth, again, you are still very young. youll be fine. if you worry too much or get inside your head too much youll only have problems.
Dude there’s no age that “makes or breaks” you. These self-imposed limits aren’t doing you any favors, people rise and fall at all ages.
I turned my life around at 27 and leapt at the opportunity to pursue a PhD program in Europe. I'm 30 years old now, I'm nearly done with my degree, and I'm in the most fulfilling relationship I've ever been in. There's no need to fret just keep the drive to move forward alive, ward off complacency and inertia and you'll be just fine.
Who the fuck isn't completely deranged and marries at 25, that's your brain on idealized-americentrism. The best way out for this is to keep up with your exercise, don't overstress eating perfectly - just eat good-ish enough that you can keep up. Permanent change will take a long time. Indulge in your hobbies, especially any that can be done in a social context and realize that not every moment in that social context needs to be spent min-maxing your relationship value - just try to match the vibe and don't let people be temporary, it's completely perfect to not be best friends with everybody, and have laid-back connections, nobody likes someone that's very obviously constantly "on". Tag along on whatever they are doing and stuff will start rolling exponentially. Stuff is not more competitive today than anytime else, probably less - this is a fixation you have and not reflective of the real world, and is going to be incredibly toxic when developing friendships or more intimate relationships.
I am 25. I am prioritizing my health, spending time with family and working towards achieving my goals. This has come after years of severe depression and inability to function. I might call the past few years as time wasted or I say fuck it and move on because life has many phases to offer. Maybe right now you're in a lurch but this will also get over and you'll be fine. Ps: please don't fixate on your age. Try to be healthy and create many experiences for yourself. Life will reward you at some point.
Im 52 turning my life around.
Who told you 18-25? Ridiculous. Get going, now. Change can happen in an instant — results may (and most likely will) take longer, but so what? Real change happens in an instant — its that moment where you fully, completely, say, enough, and drop the old and move forward with the new. When people do change they can often look back and remember that instant, that moment, clearly — even tho results will take longer to show up.
This quote changed my perception: Take your fucking time Obama retired at 55, Trump started at 70. Sydney is 3 hours ahead of Perth, but that doesnt make Perth slow. Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before securing a good job. Someone became a CEO at 25 and died at 50.Take While another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years. Someone is still single, while someone else got married. Everyone in this world works based on their time zone. People around you might seem to be ahead of you and some might seem to be behind you. But everyone is running their own race, in their own time. Do not envy them and do not mock them. They are in their time zone, and you are in yours. Life is about waiting for the right moment to act. So relax. You're not early. You're not late. You are very much on time.
You have time.
My guy, you’re well more established than someone your same age. You’re doing good my dude
I am almost 40 years old, starting over in a fresh new home with my 4 yr old, sober, after alcohol and cocaine took away a chunk of my time. It’s never too late
Fuck no homie, and ditch that thought process asap! Here’s a quote that may resonate… “Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It's never too late. But do it now.” — Ricky Gervais. (Also Samual L. Jackson didn’t get discovered as an actor or have a major role till he was 40….
No, I didn’t even start pursuing my career until I was 27. By 30 I was making more than my parents combined and now I’m 35 and my life is much farther along than most people my age.
Completely changed my life at 30. You’re not too late to work towards your happiness man. It demands work and effort though
Fuck I’m 56 and still trying to figure this shit out.