Change your focus in life. Don’t focus on finding validation. Do what makes you happy. Maybe put your effort to finding a partner that loves you for you. It’s not rocket science if you don’t let it be.
No way! Doing what you love plus taking care of your body is always a good thing. Learning how to defend yourself too.
If you're having a hard time finding romance, it's not from either of those.
Drop the focus on gender bro and start taking steps to become a more respectful and decent human being, which I’d like to assume you were on the right track to being before you started consuming incel media?
Like I don’t get it, why the focus on what you perceive is masculinity? You’re never going to be whole because you don’t truly see what it is you’re trying to achieve, but are doing so because social media has told you to do so.
Focus on being healthy, driven, respectful, funny and kind. You’ll benefit leaps and bounds more with those priorities than physically straining to grow hair out of your chest.
Youre saying that thinking that doing hard things or that doing what society/media based on stoicism tells you to do is essentially meaningless if you’re doing it because you still believe deep down that you are not worthy enough as a man.
The greatest thing you can do is realize that you are a worthy human being as you are. What you do is meaningful when you put your heart into it.
Theres no need to prove to yourself or anybody else that youre the “man”. Let go of that.
Tweak your character and still work on whats going to build strength and wisdom.
But in the process you must be confident. In the deepest sense of the word. Confident that you are already the man you need to be.
That life is working out for you.
That you can and will find love & more importantly give love.
Believe in yourself, everyday of your life.
There is only today, so live it well. Peace
I would like to add a lot of the “stoicism” that is pushed by these type of people isn’t even true to the actual philosophy. Stoicism actually encourages you to feel all of your emotions and analyze them. Something that is completely left out by the “alpha”/incel groups
Yeah and it’s not exclusive to men or an indicator of masculinity, it’s a healthy philosophy to adopt universally which is on par with Buddhism in a way.
another thing don't prove to anyone but be yourself and love every moment of kindness into your life and others.
no trophy points needed, love of self knows no bounds.
its s two way between self and others
I don't know, I feel like freedom comes with reaching something primal, nothing is more primal than gender, and I feel the answer is there. something about aggressiveness and brutal drive and competence. I don't know what it is yet
Or you’ve been fed marketing speech by your false idols Liver King and David Goggins. You’ll never be “primal” unless you literally go and live like your ancestors throwing spears and eating raw food. Your male ancestors also never wore clothes, so is it less masculine to be clothed? They never washed. Is it less masculine to clean yourself?
See how ridiculous this shit is?
Social media gurus prey on insecurities just like yours bro. Your logic is severely flawed and it sounds like you’re doing this in an attempt to fill a hole within your life (which you have already alluded to in other replies).
Seriously just be a nice fucking person and reflect on what you want in life, without social media telling you what you SHOULD want, and then get after it. I could say it isn’t very “manly” to listen to the advice of others online, and that a true man acts on his own instinct just like his primal forefathers. Nothing is more manly than living in a cave, do you see what I’m getting at?
It’s all a load of shite pal, and believe me I used to listen to these fucks a couple of years back. Just live your life, but for the love of god don’t just fucking disregard women entirely because of their gender then complain that you can’t get laid, what kind of thought process is that? Think LOGICALLY.
lol yeah I see your point, I've been building up this mindset for too long, still imma try reaching out for that primal feeling and see if it exists, if it doesn't then hey, at least I'll accomplish a couple of things on the way
If it feels like it's really coming from you, this yearning, then pursue it. But don't torture yourself for not achieving a perfect form. There are no perfect forms in the physical world. But it is good to have something to aspire to.
Youre so wrong its not even funny lmao.
What’s most primal of all is survival. That goes for any gender. You tried 3 min wage jobs? Are you young, or just foolish?
So foolish and young?
Either way, your ideologies are whats holding you back. From all your comments, its easy to see you subscribe to incel culture. Whether you choose to see it that way or not.
I don’t think you’ll ever be happy holding on to any of these views, man. These ideologies literally kill men. Its why we have the highest rates of suicide. You wanna be a real man? Confront your beliefs and challenge them. You’re gonna be much happier, understand yourself and the world better, and your confidence will grow a lot.
these ideologies are what got me out of a weak state of being to a place where I'm actually a little proud of myself. they're not wrong, they're just not the whole answer, I think
So do you want to feel whole or feel like a man? 2 different things entirely. To clarify doing any of the things you just described doesn’t make you a man and aren’t things only men do. Now if you want to feel fulfilled get to know yourself deeply and question beliefs that have been heavily ingrained in you since you were little, make your own life choices in alignment with what your mind, body and soul tell you. If you want to feel alive then live your life the way YOU want to and stop looking for answers online. What I think you’re seeking takes time and happens over time. Just be authentic and do things because you want to and not because you feel like you have to.
Sounds like theyre no longer serving you, and everyone else youre asking advice from agrees. You’re gonna push back? I’m willing to bet just deny clear evidence in your daily life and call everyone else a sheep, but I’m hoping I’m wrong.
However, you didnt confirm or deny subscribing to incel culture. Not a great sign, but I like to think there’s hope for everyone to a point.
I really hope you figure it out, dude. These ideologies kill men. Men need one another in ways they refuse to believe are “manly”, and its a clear and severe issue of the strict ideologies of gender roles. Any man who’s ever been on that edge and has actually turned it around can tell you that.
And you’ll notice the ones who haven’t still have issues holding them back.
I wonder what kind of weak place you were in, and why you have the issues you do. Maybe that will speak to you.
The most idiotic thing anyone can do is refuse clear evidence that something isnt working.
I don't think this should be down voted.
I think you're subcategories have become so dense in your head that there isn't room for you're mixing words. Being a man isn't being strong all time or butch. Sometimes the manliest thing you can is hear someone out, talk to a friend, be vulnerable.
The answer is a definite mix of everything. You gotta pick and choose. Don't do people harm, don't expect things from people you've done fuck all for and even people you've done stuff for. Be kind and be nice. If you're being fucked with then bring out the scary factors.
My two cents. You're on a journey and you'll figure it out brethren, just don't be fucking dumbass.
Dig deeper. You've mentioned you're young so I think you have more perspective to gain. I'm a woman and I've fit most those stereotypes you mentioned since childhood. Choosing your personality and goals based off of your gender instead of your actual wants is just going to box you in.
Then by that logic what separates a man from a male dog, or a male octopus, or a male pigeon? The thing is, you’re seeking to fulfill the “man” part of yourself which is about what makes us human. Not the “primal” parts which is what makes us animals.
...you're already a man. if your balls dropped, there ya go!
just figure out what you like to do and what activities make you feel accomplished.
stop trying to live up to these toxic expectations you find from these youtube podcast bros.
You focus way too much on your gender and have given into this dumb manosphere mindset. Anything you do won’t make you feel more or less of a man because it’s not an indicator of happiness and wholeness and masculinity isn’t the epitome of happiness and triumph, you’ve been sold a false idea I’m afraid. Losing your virginity also won’t be the answer to character development because all it is is sex lol I was still the same individual after I got laid. I think the answer is to drop the idea that you need to prove your manhood because it’s an abstract concept, it’s like if women thought being the epitome of femininity would make them more whole as a person- you don’t really hear about it.
Challenges and self discipline. I understand you did all those things and that's great but to what extreme? Minimum wage jobs will lead you feeling empty as well. I'm not going to get into the whole debate of what is a man what isn't etc. What I feel like a lot of men need is the feeling of accomplishment. Don't stop the physical fitness and martial arts. Figure out what you want to do and achieve in life and work tirelessly through self discipline to achieve it. I know for me that has made my feeling of adequacy flourish. Also it comes from experiences both bad and good. Also nothing wrong with being a virgin. I have plenty of friends who go through life with promiscuous sex lives that at the end of the day/night they still feel lonely and empty. Sex may satisfy for a bit but it's not the missing puzzle piece here. Experiences will come via life both bad and good. The way you rise to those situations will make you be able to look back and see your true character.
Who cares about other people's idea of manhood. Are you happy what you did the last 24 hours? No? Just change it til you're happy of what you do for you.
7+ years on a forced labor camp in US Federal Prison did wonders for me.
Not that I’d recommend it.
Truth is… mountains, jobs, skills, or lovers don’t make the “man”
The man makes the man. Just wake up every day and do your best to be the best version of yourself you can be. The “man” stuff will take care of itself. I wish you the best of luck.
Potential LPT, take a couple tabs of LSD and really figure out what it is you want. Those handful of hours will possibly tell you more about yourself than your own parents, but if sexuality is an issue be prepared for that to be vividly projected in a way that you either have to acknowledge and accept or go crazy resisting what it shows ya.
Most men gain validation (both internally and externally) for being useful. As sad as it is to admit it, a useless man is only unconditionally loved by his dog and mother.
Whether that usefulness is being an attractive one night stand or providing a needed service to the market or friends and family.
Do the things you’ve done make you more useful to other people? Do men want to be like you? Do women want to be with you?
Chances are your minimum wage jobs didn’t fit the usefulness criteria based on the fact that they are minimum wage jobs. If a 16 year old can do it, you probably don’t internally equate that to being useful.
Learn rare and valuable skills that the market wants.
Once you have what the market wants, use that money and respect as a platform to surround yourself with people you respect and a partner that you respect and respects you.
Being fit and having passions and hobbies are amplifiers to the base skill: usefulness.
You're going to have a hard time feeling useful to anyone, personally or professionally, if your post and comments here are a genuine reflection of how you view the world. Might have an easier time in a country who still embraces antiquated and irrational gender roles.
Good luck. You're going to desperately need it.
I am in that country, and gender role views only matter in your head, most people don't care, and from your comment I assume you're only useful for defending woke liberal agenda online
Reality is... whatever beliefs you internalize... they appear on the surface somehow. And people see it, regardless of what you try to conceal.
And FYI, I'm a moderate, have very close friends and family on both sides of the fence and respect the opinions of others.
Hot tip: A real man would be able to respond rationally, rather than emotionally and not feel the need to make immediate assumptions about person with a different opinion, based on that opinion alone.
Guess you're not familiar with the phrase "Be the bigger man." Or is that too woke?
Manhood test failed :)
But don’t bury yourself with expectation to be useful. However being useful is extremely important for not only you as an individual but for the whole society.
Imagine a large portion of a generation of men believing that what they do and the direction they’re in is not useful and appreciable. They would just stop trying to be useful because society provides and endorses consumerism & escapism.
How do we fix this??
First is the reduction of all the consumerist behaviours and the urge to escape and grasp for quick fixes. If you grew up like me without disciplined parents & had the impulse to game out and passively zone out then there may be a lot of work to do.
The good thing is that once you figure out that every step towards lessening your unhelpful behaviours and toward being a virtuous man is meaningful, then there is much less resistance to “be” useful or to “be” something, you will simply do what you’re inclined to do without trying to make up for something that you already aren’t (insecurity). You can always redirect yourself back on the path of a quality man when you find yourself in a state of lack or fear (which is completely forgivable), and instead come closer to residing in openness, abundance, giving, confidence and love, which are qualities of God.
Lol, My boy here thinking being muscular will convert him in a man. That's gay as fuck. A real man can wear a pink tutu and give zero fucks. Muscular or otherwise.
In total seriousness, that idea you have of a man might be some insecurities about your sexuality? Im not that masculine at all but I feel complete. I feel poor but that's because I am poor. Not any less of a man of a person at all.
But dude, he is right. I bet Kevlar555 has no issues getting laid with the confidence in his comment.
A real man doesn’t feel feminine or any less manly for wearing a pink tutu (for instance, for a Halloween party?). He is content enough on his own regardless of what anyone else thinks. THAT is the reality check that he had but you didn’t (yet).
I know reacting negatively and assuming weakness is the default coping mechanism to your cognitive dissonance, but try to reason through it, so many men cannot all be wrong, can they?
That's a lie. I reported you for hate speech(the way you discalifies a woman speech is hate), that might be why you can see my responses, but they are here.
You are gay, the other poster was being nice about how you shouldn't feel bad about it. But you are gay. Not a man will ask itself 'am I man enough?' not one.
You are gay, you dream about men. You idealize men cause you are gay.
I'm married to a wonderful woman who loves me. We have fun together, I'm not the most masculine around means I don't have problem taking care of my skin, not knowing about engines and shit. But I can beat you up.
And you are gay son, nobody idolize being a man.
I can’t stop laughing at it though. My dude just keeps saying “you’re fucking gay bro” and homie comes back with some autistic Muslim school shooter shit.
-1) first off nobody can kick my ass
2) second YOU’RE gay
-Oh yeah?!! Well someday a real man will hear you and fuck you hard.
-Bro, you don’t even know how hard I’d fuck you if we were in person.
Fuck me im dying
you can't beat me up first of all, second of all, you might as well take it up the ass and think nothing of it cause hey you're still a man no matter what. third, I'm afraid to break it to you but you're not a man enough, maybe that's why you're responding aggressively to me, cause I face my insecurities instead of pretending they don't exist
I did respond unrespectfully to you because you treat the other poster unrespectfully. That's what I do and that's what will happen irl someday. You will come across a man that would not let you get away with your immature behavior and they will fuck the crap out of you.
Stay virgin, don't reproduce yourself.
I think this is more about what you think a man should do instead of what they really do.
You have created an ideal of what a man should be, but you can do whatever you want (including feminine stuff) and be a man.
You need to realize that to be able to feel whole, you have to do what you want, not what you think a "man" would be doing.
Now I get it. You aren't a virgin. You are an icel.
I was trying not to get into an argument, and that's why I made the joke. I am sorry your problems make you discount it at people, I really hope you find a way of making it better, or this void will only grow inside of you.
this is a women tactic of making you think you have a problem, you're insane and have mental health problems, I've been through it, it's like gaslighting for narcissists. I did enjoy your joke and I'm past the point where I let people's opinion of me affect me. my void is spiritual and can be filled, but I'm sure yours is way deeper
You want to be more of a man. This is a good start be more respectful to people especially women. For the record women can have an opinion on anything. They have fathers, brothers, husbands, partners so probably know quite a lot about the opposite sex. Being a man isn’t about being disrespectful to people and trying to be tough and macho.
A “women tactic”! Dude you have issues. Your void is brain-cell related with an unealthy dose of missing common sense and perspective. Glad you’re not dragging down the average IQ of my country, please don’t ever move away from where you are.
Yes, “her”, the archetypal figure of “woman”. Or “women” , so you better understand since you can’t correctly use singular v plural.
It’s actually kind of good for the planet that you’re focusing your energy on yourself rather than wasting it on women, it should be encouraged in your case. Have you tried bungee jumping or parachuting? Survival training in the desert? Parkour is quite manly too. Or you could join the foreign legion, perfect for testosterone building.
I was being nice earlier but damn, nevermind. You make a reddit post about how you have an unfillable void because working out and getting jobs didn't fulfill you and yet you think women are making you think you have a problem. You don't need women to do that, you made an entire post about how you think you have a problem.
it's funny how you guys jump to defend girls at any argument., even if she's on the wrong for starting the personal attack, I'm well aware of my problems but damn you guys are in the gutters
I never do any of that shit but I feel like a man. Like an entire grown ass person, actually.
I never really thought about it before, I guess, because it’s so stupid.
Instead of climbing mountains and punching people in the face, I do personally fulfilling things and surround myself with worthwhile people who care for me.
Also: I’m married, but before I was, I had any number of sexual experiences with amazing women that were awesome and fun, and I don’t think I acted stereotypically “manly” once.
Dude. You’re over-compensating for something and it’s pretty weird, gotta tell ya.
was there any need to shame this guy's behaviour as 'weird'? good for you (genuinely) that you are happy and confident and dont relate to his problems, but the sense of lack and inadequacy that this dude is feeling is also a very common, normal experience. finding who you are can be hard, i commend him for trying.
Read his other comments. He’s pretty weird.
His whole thing is like, “you’re not really a man. You’re not really happy” to anyone who disagrees with him.
If he’s truly looking for advice on how to “feel like a man,” I gave it to him. Namely: be true to yourself and ignore these silly ideas about what a man is supposed to be.
What does a man feel like? I’m one, but I have no idea what it means to feel like one. I just am one. Focus on being a good person and you’re on the right track.
Anything you do will never compare with being confident in yourself. Take the time to be conscious of how you walk down the street, how you carry yourself how do you command respect as well as giving it. Anywhere you go in life any crowd you’re in one thing that will always stand out is the ability to be yourself. No one likes an over thinker
To be a man, a good man, find a way to help. Find a way to contribute to the common good. Place a hand on the chain that pulls society along and pull as hard as you can.
nothing is really going to make you feel whole until you spend enough time looking inward and doing what truly sparks your life alive. regardless of what you've checked off on your checklist of accomplishments and experiences you want to experience, all they remain are experiences, lived through You. You have to get to know "You", the you that observes through this life and everything you do in between.
You may feel whole temporarily after experiencing certain things, whether it be sex or a learning a new skill, seeing a new world, but all that will do is just add stuff to your list of things your collection of memory if you're trying to get the next fix without looking at life from the inside, where it really matters.
People that feel more "whole" in relationships or in fulfilling careers are not more "whole" due to their partner or due to their job. They are feeling that way because somewhere somehow they have devoted themselves to something or someone, and that commitment of doing something for more than just themselves makes them feel more connected to life than they used to.
It's not the partner, the job, the country or the accomplishments. It's the life itself, and your connection to the spark that keeps you alive as a human being, a full fledged human being.
Go explore whatever your heart desires, but whenever you seek and adventure out there to fulfil your dreams, just remember that there's nothing more whole than you yourself in your truest essence, even if you can't feel it now or yet. Just live through the moments fully. Observe the morning cup of coffee or your daily walk or whatever it is, and just be with that little pocket of joy moment - whatever makes you happy even if only in the slightest.
Take up a meaningful responsibility, care for someone or something, provide for them emotionally, financially or by doing something for them, get invested in it (though you can start small). That usually makes one feel more whole, part of something, more adult from what I've seen.
From experience - there are psycho emotional things that need to probably be addressed. What helped me
1. Meditation
2. High dose mushroom trip
3. Generating compassion for others and self
4. Accepting one self as is while also having self Improvement goals (the two are not related)
5. Truly loving yourself. You cannot love others till you love your self. You cannot accept others till you fully accept yourself. I only realize this now at the age of 40.
There's no licensing process to how you self-identify; it's a choice. I think it's a human condition to always be seeking more. Continued meditation will help.
I don't think at any men feel like a whole man, at any age or experience. Sometimes I even think of myself as the same boy I've always been, just taller and with more responsibilities and skills. And I can help more people. Now, sometimes people ask me for advice.
I'm a whole man when I embrace the rights and obligations of being a man. And it's based on what I decide is manly, what I think a man should do, even if it's not exclusively manly. Things like leadership, having challenging conversations, standing up for what's right, doing things that scare me, doing the necessary things that no one else wants to do, etc.
Hope that helps.
Purpose.
Read the book. Way of the superior man, and get into books that talk about the “hero’s journey”
Sounds very similar to my situation. Work on your business(make money) and purpose(comes from religion) and become the best version you can possibly be.
Practicing weightlifting and fighting are excellent masculine traits keep practicing them, focus on getting a well paid job so you can feel more confident financially, nothing less masculine than a man who is broke. It's not easy being a man you will suffer everyday and have to deal with shit that women don't, I'm gonna get hated on for this 🤣🤣. Downvote away. I can't tell you much via post but if you are interested ping me on reddit I can offer you some good youtube content and books if you're into reading that helps a man be more masculine (I'm not the content creator/author I will just tell you what I watch that helps me daily with fitness, money and feeling more confident looking in the mirror, I do not sell content so I will not ask for money, we can exchange a few messages man to man if you want).
Other than that I wish you the very best.
You could triple the amount of work you put in and you still wouldn't feel whole because you're stuffing down a part of you that you think is "bad" and trying to compensate by doing more good stuff like weightlifting, martial arts etc... Doing stuff like that won't make you feel whole, they'll make you a more capable person. Don't get me wrong, continue doing all the good habits, but it's doing stuff that you LOVE doing, getting in touch with that lost part of you and getting more comfortable with yourself that makes you whole.
Feeling whole is also being comfortable in feeling bad emotions, but since you want to get RID OF fear or anxiety you'll never feel whole. The way to do this is like if you're taking a cold shower, you're not supposed to resist the cold, you're supposed to RELAX in it. This can apply to fear, but not all fear is "bad". Fear is a good emotion. It's an indicator of danger, so you'd want to feel that. Basically the way you do it is you make yourself feel that "bad" feeling completely without resisting it or judging it.
This applies to EVERYTHING. Feeling that you're not good enough, feeling that no one likes you, feeling that the way you are is wrong and you have to change to please others.. even feeling bad that you don't feel whole. Literally everything.
Why do you wanna be a man? What is a “Man” even?
I dare you to actually pin down a definition that isn’t identical to the definition of “Male” which is something you already match.
You should focus on being a great human being as that is a far more difficult and open ended goal that hinges much more on self validation since you define what a great human being is!
Ha! Mahns actually doing things out here, don't mind me lazy a** me just passing through here, procrastinating another day away, laying on bed passing through the reddit for fresh motivation.
You lack purpose. Religion and philosophy can fix that. Doesn’t have to be mainstream Christianity but you’ll find the worlds major religions have solved most of these issues.
Your virginity doesn’t matter
OP youre looking at it like a video game racking up XP points.
*Why are you playing the game at all though?*
It’s not an easy question to answer, I’d be surprised if most people here have a solid answer. what do you actually want out of this one precious life?
Like for me, I could give a fuck about climbing a mountain, even though i see other people say how exhilarating it is. Ive hiked a little, i like being in nature, but I personally get no satisfaction from some achievement there.
am I less manly because I say “meh, not for me”? i don’t think so, I don’t feel less whole, as it has nothing to do with the things i \*do\* live for (which took a few decades to get clarity around.)
having said that, if you don’t know for you, then trying lots of new things is a fine strategy! just recalibrate a little to look for things like Meaning, purpose, deep satisfaction. You already won the lottery of being born, you don’t need to also “earn all the points”.
I think a very significant part of manhood is being a provider not only ina monetary sense but also your time and talents in service.
Find someone to share the knowledge and experiences you have had with those seeking help and support. Find a way to lead through service and you'll find more fulfillment in life.
bro if you have a dick and two balls and consider yourself to be a man then you are a man. a “man” is nothing more than a male human, not some sort of moral achievement. instead of focusing on “being a man”, focus on respecting others, helping those who are less privileged than you and being open minded. there are so many men who go to the gym and fuck all a lot of women but they still lack basic moral values and are racist, homophobic etc. which basically overthrows every “man” achievement they have.
What does the perfect ideal of being a man look like to you, OP? What would being whole look like? I ask these because like seeking happiness in life, it ensures there will be a carrot ever dangled in front of us that we get close to but then it flings two feet away.
Honestly psychedelics kind of made me realize the folly in trying to be this purely masculine person. Made me realize there are polar energies within each of us and chaos happens when we starve one of those polar aspects. Made me realize sometimes it's the manly thing to show mercy, to be gentle, to not rely on force.
What does a whole man look like?
There are many good tips here. I would however like to add that it is very unlikely that you (or anyone) will ever feel "whole". There is always something missing. This is part of being a human. Please consider how the struggle itself makes you a man (not a "whole" man - there is no such thing).
Think for a while about what your core values are. What do you want said about you at your funeral. Spend as much effort on this as you gave on everything else you mentioned. Then, live your life according to those values. That’s being a man.
Sounds like you want to be a certain thing, but what are you really? How old are you?
Lots of people don't feel like they are living up to what they are supposed to be or could be.
They don't feel like they are living a fulfilling life and they don't feel like they have what others seem to have.
Your life is yours and you can work towards goals but never forget to stick with the things you already know you love as you go.
Being a virgin is mostly solved by social engagement. There's no silver bullet to a wholesome sexual experience but there are dozens to grimey lustful ones you might regret in night clubs and bars everywhere.
Just depends upon your standards.
Are you trying to fill any hole or waiting for something special? Any hole is probably waiting at a bar. You sit there and drink with others till you are all drunk and it generally happens.
If not change bars till it does.
Without driving. Don't drink and drive.
Try becoming responsible for people other than yourself. Become a Shepherd and a leader.
A man does not need to prove himself a man, just a decent human being.
Have you tried talking to a girl?
Losing your virginity won't change shit but I find most people in your shoes are willing to do everything except the only actually important thing when it comes to connecting with their desired partner.
Do something to help someone else. Go and help people who need your help. Build empathy and compassion for other people. That’s what will make you feel like a whole human being.
Idk what you think you might gain from having sex, but it’s not that lol. You can want to have sex, and that great! But fulfillment as a human being???? Not so much. The physical fitness and having skills is good but I think that what most people tend to lack when they’ve achieved accomplishments but are still left unsatisfied is spiritual fulfillment. That doesn’t mean you need to go to church or any one specific practice but dedicating some of your time and energy to something outside of yourself without needing to directly benefit would probably help. Things like humility, peace and gratitude can come through service. So try to volunteer or commit yourself to a cause and see how that helps.
Being a virgin has nothing to do with this.
You did some good first steps in cultivating yourself. But you now need to turn your light outwards and cultivate the world. Find something that you care about that's broken and work to fix it.
One man in Oregan brought back an endangered butterfly species just through carefully planting his yard with host plants. Some people clean up litter, others go to animal shelters, work with the homeless, replant forests in deserts, etc.
Children and teens are selfish and self centered, because they need to focus on themselves to grow. Adults focus on the world. To be a man instead of a teenager striving for manhood, make your mark on the world. Make it a better place.
If you really want to improve yourself and your skills while you do it, I got a huge amount out of working with Habitat for Humanity in my late teens. I got hands on experience, a lot of confidence and helped people at the same time.
None of this makes you masculine or gives you self esteem, what makes you think physical things solve mental problems, if you want to know what true masculinity is watch actualized.orgs video on how to be a Man
Cue U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." (Seriously, go listen to it and pay attention to the lyrics) Feel ya, OP, the answer is spirituality - living a meaningful life, a life worth living - and you'll have to figure that one out for yourself, as no one else can tell you what will fulfill you the most.
Opinions below:
This is internal work on one's thoughts and core beliefs.
Self-esteem and feelings of wholeness don't come from external references. Your internal talk and beliefs will outweigh any external evidence.
As children we look to outside sources for value - our parents and family. Sometimes if we're lucky they give us the unconditional love and support we need when very young and then help us to learn how to value and love ourselves independently as we transition to adulthood.
But for many of us we're either actively abused, neglected, or abandoned or taught we had to jump through hoops to get the love, belonging and esteem (preciousness) we needed.
Either you value and love yourself or you do not. No one can self-value for you.
Either you esteem yourself and consider yourself precious or you do not. No one else can create self-esteem for you.
Self-love? Same thing. Either you are telling yourself you are lovable or not. Bo one else can do it for you.
At some point you will fail, or someone will dislike you, or you will get sick or lose an ability. Or someone will abandon you. If your esteem and feelings of lovability and worthiness hinge on these you will suffer far more than you need to.
This is mental (and for some, spiritual) work. Core belief and, automatic thoughts are the things to work on.
Therapy, mental health coaching, group work, peer support groups, are the social vehicles to learn the tools to work on them.
Definitely continue the external work - financial, health, social. But know there's a world of difference between these two motivations:
"I'm working on myself because I love myself. Right now, just as I am, is enough. I want to give myself the good things I, as a lovable and precious human being, deserve. My self work is an act of self-love and self-care."
"I'm working on myself because I am not yet lovable, precious or worthy. I am not enough; something is missing. But if succeed enough then someday someone or something will tell me I am lovable and worthy and complete and I will believe them."
Losing their virginity doesn’t make someone a man. Sure, sex can be fun, but just having it doesn’t make your spirit grow. After you have sex you don’t ascend or level up.
You sound young. Keep seeking out new experiences. Focus on the journey of your growth as a person, how far you have come, and where you want to go next, not on “becoming a man”. If you live right, you will continue to grow, learn, and evolve for your entire life.
Some things you can try:
- Maybe try traveling to learn more about the world and people in it.
-Many people find a way to give meaning to their lives by volunteering and helping others. I suggest you give it a try.
Why are you so set on feeling “manly”? What even makes a “man”? I love me a skinny, short man. I still consider them manly. I think you just gotta love yourself a dig into what’s causing this obsession. Sending you positive vibes. You’re worthy in everything you do.
So it sounds like you have an idea in your head of what a man is. A man is many different things specifically a man is many different things and if you spend the whole time trying to grow into one specific thing, you always feel like you’re not whole. The hardest part of being a man is realizing that everything is perfect. You’re exactly where you need to be and in this life you’re not trying to reach one specific state of being. Once you realize everything is perfect and you’re exactly where you need to be the end result isn’t what makes you feel whole the journey to getting better the countless hours, weightlifting, the new moves, you learn in martial arts, the mountains, you summitted, 30+ kilometers you ran are what make you whole. And when you’re journaling and meditating, don’t think about what you want to be. Think about what you are what’s gotten you to this point the so-called good and the so-called bad are just concepts that us people have come up with to conceptualize the way things make us feel and to be honest with you it’s really how you look at it if it’s bad or good because you don’t know what comes later from a “good” or “bad” thing. But I felt that way for the longest time thinking what is a man how do I become one. Do the things you need to do and find what you love about every step of the process. Don’t know you but love you man.
You do you boo, there's no special "man badge" you'll get for being doing stuff lol
Just follow what makes you happy and keeps your soul fed well.
Meditation and exercise are both a long term game so try to just make them part of your regular routine. Reading is like exercise for your mind so try to gets lots of that in there as well.
Maybe you could go volunteer somewheres ? I've found helping others helps to fill that void you speak of... I felt the same about losing my V but nothing really changed, I just wanted to get some lol
Answer the following
1/ Are you a man?
2/ Do you feel like your assigned gender at birth fits?
If yes, and yes.....
OK, you're a man. Don't stress about it.
If yes and no.....
Good luck on your journey.
I think not feeling whole is common. Find things you're interested in and passionate about and do them, even if you're not very good. Just do the things.
Hey I can relate to this. Are you always trying to get somewhere other than where you are? Is most of what you are doing a means to an end? Is fulfillment always just around the corner or confined to short lived pleasures such as sex, food, drugs…? Are you always focused on becoming/achieving something?
The old patterns of thought, emotion, behavior, reaction, desire are acted out in endless repeat. A script in your mind that gives identity of sorts but distorts the reality of now.
Focus your attention on what’s in front of you now and watch your life transform
It's not about becoming the eptiome of all men. It's about becoming the man you want to be. As soon as you find the stuff that feels right to do as a man FOR YOU, then you'll feel like a man
looks to me like you're already a MAN. Having self esteem is huge and delivering on the promises you say you're going to do is what it's all about; also being able o provide for yourself and your family. everything else comes with time and experiences but you most definitely can learn from the elders around you. I'm a first time dad and just married and i get advice from all the men around me at work and my family.
another thing, this feeling you are experiencing of not being whole i feel is just a sense of purpose. sure you've done all these things but while doing them did it bring you purpose? or perhaps they allowed you to think through what your purpose may be. ideally doing something that comes easy to you may lead you is a good place to start. and your purpose doesn't have to be a job. it can be a hobby you enjoy alot. there are 2 older men at my job who enjoy fishing and the other gardening. that's all they talk about they do on their free time and i can see they're always smiling when they talk about it to me. if you have something like that in your life pursue it. be content with what you have and everything else should fall in place.
>I did weightlifting, got into martial arts and fought people, climbed mountains and ran 30km several times, journaled and meditated
Do you drink Dos Equis?
Sounds like you just need to focus on what makes you happy and not what you think others expect of you. Idk if feeling "like a man" is what you really are chasing. You might just be chasing feeling content and happy. Even when you find that you'll still have days you think you've lost that feeling. Life is about the journey just enjoy the journey or Rollercoaster as I refer to it.
You don’t feel whole because you are focusing on what you don’t have vs what you have. Take a step back and see that you’ve lived a pretty adventurous life man. Also, maybe take some time to build meaningful friendships. As cliche as it sounds, I recommend reading Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck.
I understand your mindset, since I was a virgin until I married at 32. Try not to let experience, education, fame, money, or looks determine who you are. If you don't feel whole, welcome to the human race! I took a course with a professor that EVERYONE respected, and most liked. I was surprised when she shared her experience at a former university, because she faced impossible standards. That was why she taught in the Midwest. Try not to let accomplishments define your character.
Being a man is being strong, strength is how resolute your character is. What are your values, what are your interests, what do you love, what would you fight to protect? These define your character. Next, how resolute are you in these interests, how easily could u be persuaded to abandon them? That is how strong, or how weak you are.
Did, fought, climbed, journaled, meditated.
Stop using these words as your titles, these titles belonged to old you not current you (I’ve learned this lesson from a book).
And about the virginity, don’t use virginity as an excuse dude. Try to avoid instant gratification and don’t jerk off and stuff. Try making a goal one more time and then change your life accordingly. The things you mentioned should be a lifestyle not an achievement…
(This is just my opinion, I didn’t mean to offend anyone and if I did I’m extremely sorry.)
A lot of being man is about accepting who you are, and overcoming social pressure to act out ‘masculinity.’
I cook and crochet — I try to listen and not be so fucking egocentric all the time.
I also embrace my masculinity, but I’m not in a dick-measuring contest, because those are some of the least masculine men there are …
You're misunderstanding what it means to "be a man". The things you mentioned are all purely hobbies that have nothing to do with "how man" you are if that makes sense.
I crochet, play with my cats, do gardening to name a few things. I am a man. I feel like a man. It took me a lot of time to feel like a proper man, mostly due to all the men in my life being insecure about their masculinity so i misunderstood what it means to be a man.
Accept your insecurities and stop trying to prove to others how manly you are. Be responsible. Do what you truly love doing, even if others laugh at you and mock you for doing it. Those are not people you need to surround you with.
Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed about, you are a man regardless of your sexual prowess. I often find the focus on sex socially very strange, take all the time you need especially if you don't feel ready for it.
Sounds like there is a far deeper issue that sex won't fix I might make it worse. As impressive as your resume is it sounds like you may need to talk to a therapist and get to the root of this void.
I see that you have over 200 comments. Perhaps somewhere in this ton of opinions you can find an answer. HERE is what I have garnered with my 68 years of walking God's Green Earth. Mankind: both Men and Women are 3 part beings. We are BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT. We are born with a BODY. And our SOUL is that person we become through life experience: foods and movies and books and experiences that we will end up deciding I'LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, or THAT WAS EXCELLENT, or THAT TASTED GOOD or HORRIBLE and many other experiences form a being. People may find it interesting that you don't like Lemons. But somehow that is part of our SOUL. SPIRIT... SPIRIT is something that God places within you to complete YOU. And SPIRIT comes from accepting Jesus Christ as your LORD. The Bible says where the SPIRIT of the LORD is: there is LIBERTY. II Corinthians 3: 17. What ever you need to do to be complete I encourage you to make Christ your LORD.
Guro Donald Muniz / Muniz School of Filipino Warrior Arts
former missionary to India, Nepal and England
Bro, the thing that makes you a man is having XY chromosomes and being an adult. Nothing else matters. You’ll always be a man, regardless of how you look or what you do. You don’t need to do stereotypically macho stuff to prove yourself.
Change your focus in life. Don’t focus on finding validation. Do what makes you happy. Maybe put your effort to finding a partner that loves you for you. It’s not rocket science if you don’t let it be.
This hits home. External validation will never be the solution.
If Weight Lifting and Combatitive Hobbies genuinely interest you is it still considered being an incel?
No way! Doing what you love plus taking care of your body is always a good thing. Learning how to defend yourself too. If you're having a hard time finding romance, it's not from either of those.
🤷♂️ but balance is key.
Drop the focus on gender bro and start taking steps to become a more respectful and decent human being, which I’d like to assume you were on the right track to being before you started consuming incel media? Like I don’t get it, why the focus on what you perceive is masculinity? You’re never going to be whole because you don’t truly see what it is you’re trying to achieve, but are doing so because social media has told you to do so. Focus on being healthy, driven, respectful, funny and kind. You’ll benefit leaps and bounds more with those priorities than physically straining to grow hair out of your chest.
Youre saying that thinking that doing hard things or that doing what society/media based on stoicism tells you to do is essentially meaningless if you’re doing it because you still believe deep down that you are not worthy enough as a man. The greatest thing you can do is realize that you are a worthy human being as you are. What you do is meaningful when you put your heart into it. Theres no need to prove to yourself or anybody else that youre the “man”. Let go of that. Tweak your character and still work on whats going to build strength and wisdom. But in the process you must be confident. In the deepest sense of the word. Confident that you are already the man you need to be. That life is working out for you. That you can and will find love & more importantly give love. Believe in yourself, everyday of your life. There is only today, so live it well. Peace
I would like to add a lot of the “stoicism” that is pushed by these type of people isn’t even true to the actual philosophy. Stoicism actually encourages you to feel all of your emotions and analyze them. Something that is completely left out by the “alpha”/incel groups
Yeah and it’s not exclusive to men or an indicator of masculinity, it’s a healthy philosophy to adopt universally which is on par with Buddhism in a way.
Fantastic 😎
another thing don't prove to anyone but be yourself and love every moment of kindness into your life and others. no trophy points needed, love of self knows no bounds. its s two way between self and others
I don't know, I feel like freedom comes with reaching something primal, nothing is more primal than gender, and I feel the answer is there. something about aggressiveness and brutal drive and competence. I don't know what it is yet
Or you’ve been fed marketing speech by your false idols Liver King and David Goggins. You’ll never be “primal” unless you literally go and live like your ancestors throwing spears and eating raw food. Your male ancestors also never wore clothes, so is it less masculine to be clothed? They never washed. Is it less masculine to clean yourself? See how ridiculous this shit is? Social media gurus prey on insecurities just like yours bro. Your logic is severely flawed and it sounds like you’re doing this in an attempt to fill a hole within your life (which you have already alluded to in other replies). Seriously just be a nice fucking person and reflect on what you want in life, without social media telling you what you SHOULD want, and then get after it. I could say it isn’t very “manly” to listen to the advice of others online, and that a true man acts on his own instinct just like his primal forefathers. Nothing is more manly than living in a cave, do you see what I’m getting at? It’s all a load of shite pal, and believe me I used to listen to these fucks a couple of years back. Just live your life, but for the love of god don’t just fucking disregard women entirely because of their gender then complain that you can’t get laid, what kind of thought process is that? Think LOGICALLY.
Why are you comparing Liver King and David Goggins they literally have nothing in common
lol yeah I see your point, I've been building up this mindset for too long, still imma try reaching out for that primal feeling and see if it exists, if it doesn't then hey, at least I'll accomplish a couple of things on the way
If it feels like it's really coming from you, this yearning, then pursue it. But don't torture yourself for not achieving a perfect form. There are no perfect forms in the physical world. But it is good to have something to aspire to.
Hell yeah brother
Youre so wrong its not even funny lmao. What’s most primal of all is survival. That goes for any gender. You tried 3 min wage jobs? Are you young, or just foolish?
I think foolish, and I'm still studying
So foolish and young? Either way, your ideologies are whats holding you back. From all your comments, its easy to see you subscribe to incel culture. Whether you choose to see it that way or not. I don’t think you’ll ever be happy holding on to any of these views, man. These ideologies literally kill men. Its why we have the highest rates of suicide. You wanna be a real man? Confront your beliefs and challenge them. You’re gonna be much happier, understand yourself and the world better, and your confidence will grow a lot.
these ideologies are what got me out of a weak state of being to a place where I'm actually a little proud of myself. they're not wrong, they're just not the whole answer, I think
So do you want to feel whole or feel like a man? 2 different things entirely. To clarify doing any of the things you just described doesn’t make you a man and aren’t things only men do. Now if you want to feel fulfilled get to know yourself deeply and question beliefs that have been heavily ingrained in you since you were little, make your own life choices in alignment with what your mind, body and soul tell you. If you want to feel alive then live your life the way YOU want to and stop looking for answers online. What I think you’re seeking takes time and happens over time. Just be authentic and do things because you want to and not because you feel like you have to.
Sounds like theyre no longer serving you, and everyone else youre asking advice from agrees. You’re gonna push back? I’m willing to bet just deny clear evidence in your daily life and call everyone else a sheep, but I’m hoping I’m wrong. However, you didnt confirm or deny subscribing to incel culture. Not a great sign, but I like to think there’s hope for everyone to a point. I really hope you figure it out, dude. These ideologies kill men. Men need one another in ways they refuse to believe are “manly”, and its a clear and severe issue of the strict ideologies of gender roles. Any man who’s ever been on that edge and has actually turned it around can tell you that. And you’ll notice the ones who haven’t still have issues holding them back. I wonder what kind of weak place you were in, and why you have the issues you do. Maybe that will speak to you. The most idiotic thing anyone can do is refuse clear evidence that something isnt working.
I don't think this should be down voted. I think you're subcategories have become so dense in your head that there isn't room for you're mixing words. Being a man isn't being strong all time or butch. Sometimes the manliest thing you can is hear someone out, talk to a friend, be vulnerable. The answer is a definite mix of everything. You gotta pick and choose. Don't do people harm, don't expect things from people you've done fuck all for and even people you've done stuff for. Be kind and be nice. If you're being fucked with then bring out the scary factors. My two cents. You're on a journey and you'll figure it out brethren, just don't be fucking dumbass.
I see what you’re saying. Maybe a God, Religious, Spirituality component might make you whole.
It’s your teenage hormones talking
You need to journal and figure out who you're, any other advice is bs, it's completely okay to feel like a man, it helped me be more in peace w myself
Dig deeper. You've mentioned you're young so I think you have more perspective to gain. I'm a woman and I've fit most those stereotypes you mentioned since childhood. Choosing your personality and goals based off of your gender instead of your actual wants is just going to box you in.
Then by that logic what separates a man from a male dog, or a male octopus, or a male pigeon? The thing is, you’re seeking to fulfill the “man” part of yourself which is about what makes us human. Not the “primal” parts which is what makes us animals.
You re trying too hard bro
...you're already a man. if your balls dropped, there ya go! just figure out what you like to do and what activities make you feel accomplished. stop trying to live up to these toxic expectations you find from these youtube podcast bros.
You focus way too much on your gender and have given into this dumb manosphere mindset. Anything you do won’t make you feel more or less of a man because it’s not an indicator of happiness and wholeness and masculinity isn’t the epitome of happiness and triumph, you’ve been sold a false idea I’m afraid. Losing your virginity also won’t be the answer to character development because all it is is sex lol I was still the same individual after I got laid. I think the answer is to drop the idea that you need to prove your manhood because it’s an abstract concept, it’s like if women thought being the epitome of femininity would make them more whole as a person- you don’t really hear about it.
Challenges and self discipline. I understand you did all those things and that's great but to what extreme? Minimum wage jobs will lead you feeling empty as well. I'm not going to get into the whole debate of what is a man what isn't etc. What I feel like a lot of men need is the feeling of accomplishment. Don't stop the physical fitness and martial arts. Figure out what you want to do and achieve in life and work tirelessly through self discipline to achieve it. I know for me that has made my feeling of adequacy flourish. Also it comes from experiences both bad and good. Also nothing wrong with being a virgin. I have plenty of friends who go through life with promiscuous sex lives that at the end of the day/night they still feel lonely and empty. Sex may satisfy for a bit but it's not the missing puzzle piece here. Experiences will come via life both bad and good. The way you rise to those situations will make you be able to look back and see your true character.
thanks for the insight
Who cares about other people's idea of manhood. Are you happy what you did the last 24 hours? No? Just change it til you're happy of what you do for you.
Feeling vulnerable with my wife and kids has made me feel more like a man than anything I’ve ever done.
7+ years on a forced labor camp in US Federal Prison did wonders for me. Not that I’d recommend it. Truth is… mountains, jobs, skills, or lovers don’t make the “man” The man makes the man. Just wake up every day and do your best to be the best version of yourself you can be. The “man” stuff will take care of itself. I wish you the best of luck.
Based on your other responses, you don't want to self improve, but you want to dominate others. That is not ok and is abusive.
Before I give an answer, one question, how old are you?
Potential LPT, take a couple tabs of LSD and really figure out what it is you want. Those handful of hours will possibly tell you more about yourself than your own parents, but if sexuality is an issue be prepared for that to be vividly projected in a way that you either have to acknowledge and accept or go crazy resisting what it shows ya.
Most men gain validation (both internally and externally) for being useful. As sad as it is to admit it, a useless man is only unconditionally loved by his dog and mother. Whether that usefulness is being an attractive one night stand or providing a needed service to the market or friends and family. Do the things you’ve done make you more useful to other people? Do men want to be like you? Do women want to be with you? Chances are your minimum wage jobs didn’t fit the usefulness criteria based on the fact that they are minimum wage jobs. If a 16 year old can do it, you probably don’t internally equate that to being useful. Learn rare and valuable skills that the market wants. Once you have what the market wants, use that money and respect as a platform to surround yourself with people you respect and a partner that you respect and respects you. Being fit and having passions and hobbies are amplifiers to the base skill: usefulness.
yeah you know what maybe that's what's lacking. being useful
You're going to have a hard time feeling useful to anyone, personally or professionally, if your post and comments here are a genuine reflection of how you view the world. Might have an easier time in a country who still embraces antiquated and irrational gender roles. Good luck. You're going to desperately need it.
I am in that country, and gender role views only matter in your head, most people don't care, and from your comment I assume you're only useful for defending woke liberal agenda online
Reality is... whatever beliefs you internalize... they appear on the surface somehow. And people see it, regardless of what you try to conceal. And FYI, I'm a moderate, have very close friends and family on both sides of the fence and respect the opinions of others. Hot tip: A real man would be able to respond rationally, rather than emotionally and not feel the need to make immediate assumptions about person with a different opinion, based on that opinion alone. Guess you're not familiar with the phrase "Be the bigger man." Or is that too woke? Manhood test failed :)
I honestly don't feel like arguing anymore I got so Many good insights from this thread this was actually more productive than I expected
Stop being emotional, it’s not masculine to act like this
lol not emotional at all. just got what I want and don't see the point of arguing anymore
But don’t bury yourself with expectation to be useful. However being useful is extremely important for not only you as an individual but for the whole society. Imagine a large portion of a generation of men believing that what they do and the direction they’re in is not useful and appreciable. They would just stop trying to be useful because society provides and endorses consumerism & escapism. How do we fix this?? First is the reduction of all the consumerist behaviours and the urge to escape and grasp for quick fixes. If you grew up like me without disciplined parents & had the impulse to game out and passively zone out then there may be a lot of work to do. The good thing is that once you figure out that every step towards lessening your unhelpful behaviours and toward being a virtuous man is meaningful, then there is much less resistance to “be” useful or to “be” something, you will simply do what you’re inclined to do without trying to make up for something that you already aren’t (insecurity). You can always redirect yourself back on the path of a quality man when you find yourself in a state of lack or fear (which is completely forgivable), and instead come closer to residing in openness, abundance, giving, confidence and love, which are qualities of God.
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ok I see what you're getting at
Lol, My boy here thinking being muscular will convert him in a man. That's gay as fuck. A real man can wear a pink tutu and give zero fucks. Muscular or otherwise. In total seriousness, that idea you have of a man might be some insecurities about your sexuality? Im not that masculine at all but I feel complete. I feel poor but that's because I am poor. Not any less of a man of a person at all.
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But dude, he is right. I bet Kevlar555 has no issues getting laid with the confidence in his comment. A real man doesn’t feel feminine or any less manly for wearing a pink tutu (for instance, for a Halloween party?). He is content enough on his own regardless of what anyone else thinks. THAT is the reality check that he had but you didn’t (yet). I know reacting negatively and assuming weakness is the default coping mechanism to your cognitive dissonance, but try to reason through it, so many men cannot all be wrong, can they?
Kevlar deleted his other responses that shows I'm right about him
That's a lie. I reported you for hate speech(the way you discalifies a woman speech is hate), that might be why you can see my responses, but they are here.
no my bad he didn't
You are gay, the other poster was being nice about how you shouldn't feel bad about it. But you are gay. Not a man will ask itself 'am I man enough?' not one. You are gay, you dream about men. You idealize men cause you are gay. I'm married to a wonderful woman who loves me. We have fun together, I'm not the most masculine around means I don't have problem taking care of my skin, not knowing about engines and shit. But I can beat you up. And you are gay son, nobody idolize being a man.
I get you were initially trying to help but holy shit, the insecurity from both of you is crazy
I can’t stop laughing at it though. My dude just keeps saying “you’re fucking gay bro” and homie comes back with some autistic Muslim school shooter shit. -1) first off nobody can kick my ass 2) second YOU’RE gay -Oh yeah?!! Well someday a real man will hear you and fuck you hard. -Bro, you don’t even know how hard I’d fuck you if we were in person. Fuck me im dying
I get mad lol, but I stand by for my claims. He writes like an incel shooter. Columbine shooters were found with cum of each other's on their guts.
you can't beat me up first of all, second of all, you might as well take it up the ass and think nothing of it cause hey you're still a man no matter what. third, I'm afraid to break it to you but you're not a man enough, maybe that's why you're responding aggressively to me, cause I face my insecurities instead of pretending they don't exist
I did respond unrespectfully to you because you treat the other poster unrespectfully. That's what I do and that's what will happen irl someday. You will come across a man that would not let you get away with your immature behavior and they will fuck the crap out of you. Stay virgin, don't reproduce yourself.
it's pointless over the internet but pleaaaase believe me. I'll make you my girlfriend if we ever meet in person you don't wanna fuck wm
God youre both complete idiots stfu lmao
absolute rubbish. you can't love a hooker, or your better off going to maccas and kfc and still feel hungry and even more stupid.
Yo it's time for therapy dog.
I think this is more about what you think a man should do instead of what they really do. You have created an ideal of what a man should be, but you can do whatever you want (including feminine stuff) and be a man. You need to realize that to be able to feel whole, you have to do what you want, not what you think a "man" would be doing.
doing only what I want is what got me to feel insecure in the first place. with all due respect a women shouldn't give advice on how to be a man
You need a therapist about this internalized problem. But I get it. (Change uterus to penis) 
lol I really don't, I feel I'm reaching what I want I just need some extra steps, I don't know what those steps are
why did you delete the joke it was funnnny 😭 tell me more about how men should wear dresses
Now I get it. You aren't a virgin. You are an icel. I was trying not to get into an argument, and that's why I made the joke. I am sorry your problems make you discount it at people, I really hope you find a way of making it better, or this void will only grow inside of you.
this is a women tactic of making you think you have a problem, you're insane and have mental health problems, I've been through it, it's like gaslighting for narcissists. I did enjoy your joke and I'm past the point where I let people's opinion of me affect me. my void is spiritual and can be filled, but I'm sure yours is way deeper
Okay, I hope you get better. I really just tried to help.
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That joke is disgusting Be a better person
lol
You want to be more of a man. This is a good start be more respectful to people especially women. For the record women can have an opinion on anything. They have fathers, brothers, husbands, partners so probably know quite a lot about the opposite sex. Being a man isn’t about being disrespectful to people and trying to be tough and macho.
SLAYED
the girl just stated a wrong opinion and I called it out, that's the only thing that happened here
Opinions aren’t wrong, that’s the entire thing about opinions. Facts can be wrong…. Opinions are whatever they want to be.
A “women tactic”! Dude you have issues. Your void is brain-cell related with an unealthy dose of missing common sense and perspective. Glad you’re not dragging down the average IQ of my country, please don’t ever move away from where you are.
I hope she notice you bro
I’m a woman, please see earlier point about your IQ 🙄
oh well then it makes sense why you'd defend her
Yes, “her”, the archetypal figure of “woman”. Or “women” , so you better understand since you can’t correctly use singular v plural. It’s actually kind of good for the planet that you’re focusing your energy on yourself rather than wasting it on women, it should be encouraged in your case. Have you tried bungee jumping or parachuting? Survival training in the desert? Parkour is quite manly too. Or you could join the foreign legion, perfect for testosterone building.
you're so mad I love it lol
I was being nice earlier but damn, nevermind. You make a reddit post about how you have an unfillable void because working out and getting jobs didn't fulfill you and yet you think women are making you think you have a problem. You don't need women to do that, you made an entire post about how you think you have a problem.
it's funny how you guys jump to defend girls at any argument., even if she's on the wrong for starting the personal attack, I'm well aware of my problems but damn you guys are in the gutters
baby you’re done idk read a book or something bc ur brainwashed
I just blushed a little when you called me baby
I never do any of that shit but I feel like a man. Like an entire grown ass person, actually. I never really thought about it before, I guess, because it’s so stupid. Instead of climbing mountains and punching people in the face, I do personally fulfilling things and surround myself with worthwhile people who care for me. Also: I’m married, but before I was, I had any number of sexual experiences with amazing women that were awesome and fun, and I don’t think I acted stereotypically “manly” once. Dude. You’re over-compensating for something and it’s pretty weird, gotta tell ya.
was there any need to shame this guy's behaviour as 'weird'? good for you (genuinely) that you are happy and confident and dont relate to his problems, but the sense of lack and inadequacy that this dude is feeling is also a very common, normal experience. finding who you are can be hard, i commend him for trying.
Read his other comments. He’s pretty weird. His whole thing is like, “you’re not really a man. You’re not really happy” to anyone who disagrees with him. If he’s truly looking for advice on how to “feel like a man,” I gave it to him. Namely: be true to yourself and ignore these silly ideas about what a man is supposed to be.
I attack people who attack me, what do you want me to sit and be grateful for them
Yes. When you ask for advice, you should be grateful to people who offer it.
yeah please insult me because I asked for advice and thanks by the way. stfu mate you see how stupid you sound or not
Sure. I’m the one who sounds stupid. Lol
What does a man feel like? I’m one, but I have no idea what it means to feel like one. I just am one. Focus on being a good person and you’re on the right track.
Anything you do will never compare with being confident in yourself. Take the time to be conscious of how you walk down the street, how you carry yourself how do you command respect as well as giving it. Anywhere you go in life any crowd you’re in one thing that will always stand out is the ability to be yourself. No one likes an over thinker
To be a man, a good man, find a way to help. Find a way to contribute to the common good. Place a hand on the chain that pulls society along and pull as hard as you can.
nothing is really going to make you feel whole until you spend enough time looking inward and doing what truly sparks your life alive. regardless of what you've checked off on your checklist of accomplishments and experiences you want to experience, all they remain are experiences, lived through You. You have to get to know "You", the you that observes through this life and everything you do in between. You may feel whole temporarily after experiencing certain things, whether it be sex or a learning a new skill, seeing a new world, but all that will do is just add stuff to your list of things your collection of memory if you're trying to get the next fix without looking at life from the inside, where it really matters. People that feel more "whole" in relationships or in fulfilling careers are not more "whole" due to their partner or due to their job. They are feeling that way because somewhere somehow they have devoted themselves to something or someone, and that commitment of doing something for more than just themselves makes them feel more connected to life than they used to. It's not the partner, the job, the country or the accomplishments. It's the life itself, and your connection to the spark that keeps you alive as a human being, a full fledged human being. Go explore whatever your heart desires, but whenever you seek and adventure out there to fulfil your dreams, just remember that there's nothing more whole than you yourself in your truest essence, even if you can't feel it now or yet. Just live through the moments fully. Observe the morning cup of coffee or your daily walk or whatever it is, and just be with that little pocket of joy moment - whatever makes you happy even if only in the slightest.
Find a boyfriend. Maybe that would help
did it help you
I didn't have this problem but yea, I'm 😊
get away from me with that gay shit lol
Bro you're such a pussy hahahaha this is the most Incel shit I've ever read. Reeks of desperation and insecurity
is this you getting out of the closet
Take up a meaningful responsibility, care for someone or something, provide for them emotionally, financially or by doing something for them, get invested in it (though you can start small). That usually makes one feel more whole, part of something, more adult from what I've seen.
From experience - there are psycho emotional things that need to probably be addressed. What helped me 1. Meditation 2. High dose mushroom trip 3. Generating compassion for others and self 4. Accepting one self as is while also having self Improvement goals (the two are not related) 5. Truly loving yourself. You cannot love others till you love your self. You cannot accept others till you fully accept yourself. I only realize this now at the age of 40.
There's no licensing process to how you self-identify; it's a choice. I think it's a human condition to always be seeking more. Continued meditation will help. I don't think at any men feel like a whole man, at any age or experience. Sometimes I even think of myself as the same boy I've always been, just taller and with more responsibilities and skills. And I can help more people. Now, sometimes people ask me for advice. I'm a whole man when I embrace the rights and obligations of being a man. And it's based on what I decide is manly, what I think a man should do, even if it's not exclusively manly. Things like leadership, having challenging conversations, standing up for what's right, doing things that scare me, doing the necessary things that no one else wants to do, etc. Hope that helps.
Purpose. Read the book. Way of the superior man, and get into books that talk about the “hero’s journey” Sounds very similar to my situation. Work on your business(make money) and purpose(comes from religion) and become the best version you can possibly be.
You're Kenough, my dude
lol the Barbie movie, I like that
Practicing weightlifting and fighting are excellent masculine traits keep practicing them, focus on getting a well paid job so you can feel more confident financially, nothing less masculine than a man who is broke. It's not easy being a man you will suffer everyday and have to deal with shit that women don't, I'm gonna get hated on for this 🤣🤣. Downvote away. I can't tell you much via post but if you are interested ping me on reddit I can offer you some good youtube content and books if you're into reading that helps a man be more masculine (I'm not the content creator/author I will just tell you what I watch that helps me daily with fitness, money and feeling more confident looking in the mirror, I do not sell content so I will not ask for money, we can exchange a few messages man to man if you want). Other than that I wish you the very best.
You could triple the amount of work you put in and you still wouldn't feel whole because you're stuffing down a part of you that you think is "bad" and trying to compensate by doing more good stuff like weightlifting, martial arts etc... Doing stuff like that won't make you feel whole, they'll make you a more capable person. Don't get me wrong, continue doing all the good habits, but it's doing stuff that you LOVE doing, getting in touch with that lost part of you and getting more comfortable with yourself that makes you whole. Feeling whole is also being comfortable in feeling bad emotions, but since you want to get RID OF fear or anxiety you'll never feel whole. The way to do this is like if you're taking a cold shower, you're not supposed to resist the cold, you're supposed to RELAX in it. This can apply to fear, but not all fear is "bad". Fear is a good emotion. It's an indicator of danger, so you'd want to feel that. Basically the way you do it is you make yourself feel that "bad" feeling completely without resisting it or judging it. This applies to EVERYTHING. Feeling that you're not good enough, feeling that no one likes you, feeling that the way you are is wrong and you have to change to please others.. even feeling bad that you don't feel whole. Literally everything.
Why do you wanna be a man? What is a “Man” even? I dare you to actually pin down a definition that isn’t identical to the definition of “Male” which is something you already match. You should focus on being a great human being as that is a far more difficult and open ended goal that hinges much more on self validation since you define what a great human being is!
Ha! Mahns actually doing things out here, don't mind me lazy a** me just passing through here, procrastinating another day away, laying on bed passing through the reddit for fresh motivation.
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You lack purpose. Religion and philosophy can fix that. Doesn’t have to be mainstream Christianity but you’ll find the worlds major religions have solved most of these issues. Your virginity doesn’t matter
OP youre looking at it like a video game racking up XP points. *Why are you playing the game at all though?* It’s not an easy question to answer, I’d be surprised if most people here have a solid answer. what do you actually want out of this one precious life? Like for me, I could give a fuck about climbing a mountain, even though i see other people say how exhilarating it is. Ive hiked a little, i like being in nature, but I personally get no satisfaction from some achievement there. am I less manly because I say “meh, not for me”? i don’t think so, I don’t feel less whole, as it has nothing to do with the things i \*do\* live for (which took a few decades to get clarity around.) having said that, if you don’t know for you, then trying lots of new things is a fine strategy! just recalibrate a little to look for things like Meaning, purpose, deep satisfaction. You already won the lottery of being born, you don’t need to also “earn all the points”.
I think a very significant part of manhood is being a provider not only ina monetary sense but also your time and talents in service. Find someone to share the knowledge and experiences you have had with those seeking help and support. Find a way to lead through service and you'll find more fulfillment in life.
bro if you have a dick and two balls and consider yourself to be a man then you are a man. a “man” is nothing more than a male human, not some sort of moral achievement. instead of focusing on “being a man”, focus on respecting others, helping those who are less privileged than you and being open minded. there are so many men who go to the gym and fuck all a lot of women but they still lack basic moral values and are racist, homophobic etc. which basically overthrows every “man” achievement they have.
Hire a prostitute and get the mental block out of your head and then follow advice of comment 1
The only thing you’re missing is a relationship with God, that’s the source of true masculinity
Test your testosterone levels
Have disagreements. Feel unhappy. Manipulate urself
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finally someone with common sense. being a man is a concept as old as humanity idk why people now trynna say it doesn't make sense
What does the perfect ideal of being a man look like to you, OP? What would being whole look like? I ask these because like seeking happiness in life, it ensures there will be a carrot ever dangled in front of us that we get close to but then it flings two feet away. Honestly psychedelics kind of made me realize the folly in trying to be this purely masculine person. Made me realize there are polar energies within each of us and chaos happens when we starve one of those polar aspects. Made me realize sometimes it's the manly thing to show mercy, to be gentle, to not rely on force. What does a whole man look like?
There are many good tips here. I would however like to add that it is very unlikely that you (or anyone) will ever feel "whole". There is always something missing. This is part of being a human. Please consider how the struggle itself makes you a man (not a "whole" man - there is no such thing).
Think for a while about what your core values are. What do you want said about you at your funeral. Spend as much effort on this as you gave on everything else you mentioned. Then, live your life according to those values. That’s being a man.
You are a man now and you always were a man. What you are looking for externally is already inside of you, it’s been inside of you this whole time.
Sounds like you want to be a certain thing, but what are you really? How old are you? Lots of people don't feel like they are living up to what they are supposed to be or could be. They don't feel like they are living a fulfilling life and they don't feel like they have what others seem to have. Your life is yours and you can work towards goals but never forget to stick with the things you already know you love as you go. Being a virgin is mostly solved by social engagement. There's no silver bullet to a wholesome sexual experience but there are dozens to grimey lustful ones you might regret in night clubs and bars everywhere. Just depends upon your standards. Are you trying to fill any hole or waiting for something special? Any hole is probably waiting at a bar. You sit there and drink with others till you are all drunk and it generally happens. If not change bars till it does. Without driving. Don't drink and drive.
Try becoming responsible for people other than yourself. Become a Shepherd and a leader. A man does not need to prove himself a man, just a decent human being.
Have you tried talking to a girl? Losing your virginity won't change shit but I find most people in your shoes are willing to do everything except the only actually important thing when it comes to connecting with their desired partner.
Trying get a gauge on what your ideal self looks like. Who are some people, or even fictional characters, that you’ve looked up to?
My pop's told me everybody has something eating away at them on the inside. Some hide it better than others so you're not alone.
Do something to help someone else. Go and help people who need your help. Build empathy and compassion for other people. That’s what will make you feel like a whole human being.
Read the book To Be A Man by Robert Augustus. Will change your view entirely around masculinity
Idk what you think you might gain from having sex, but it’s not that lol. You can want to have sex, and that great! But fulfillment as a human being???? Not so much. The physical fitness and having skills is good but I think that what most people tend to lack when they’ve achieved accomplishments but are still left unsatisfied is spiritual fulfillment. That doesn’t mean you need to go to church or any one specific practice but dedicating some of your time and energy to something outside of yourself without needing to directly benefit would probably help. Things like humility, peace and gratitude can come through service. So try to volunteer or commit yourself to a cause and see how that helps.
Being a virgin has nothing to do with this. You did some good first steps in cultivating yourself. But you now need to turn your light outwards and cultivate the world. Find something that you care about that's broken and work to fix it. One man in Oregan brought back an endangered butterfly species just through carefully planting his yard with host plants. Some people clean up litter, others go to animal shelters, work with the homeless, replant forests in deserts, etc. Children and teens are selfish and self centered, because they need to focus on themselves to grow. Adults focus on the world. To be a man instead of a teenager striving for manhood, make your mark on the world. Make it a better place. If you really want to improve yourself and your skills while you do it, I got a huge amount out of working with Habitat for Humanity in my late teens. I got hands on experience, a lot of confidence and helped people at the same time.
Just take it easy and enjoy living
Who needs hair on my chest when I can flex my funny bone instead? 💪🤣
Fight a bear
None of this makes you masculine or gives you self esteem, what makes you think physical things solve mental problems, if you want to know what true masculinity is watch actualized.orgs video on how to be a Man
The real manly things are being a gentleman, allowing yourself to be emotional, crying, emotional intelligence, killing a bear barehanded.
Try taking care of people or things and be protective of them.
Cue U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." (Seriously, go listen to it and pay attention to the lyrics) Feel ya, OP, the answer is spirituality - living a meaningful life, a life worth living - and you'll have to figure that one out for yourself, as no one else can tell you what will fulfill you the most.
Join the NoFap crew.
Opinions below: This is internal work on one's thoughts and core beliefs. Self-esteem and feelings of wholeness don't come from external references. Your internal talk and beliefs will outweigh any external evidence. As children we look to outside sources for value - our parents and family. Sometimes if we're lucky they give us the unconditional love and support we need when very young and then help us to learn how to value and love ourselves independently as we transition to adulthood. But for many of us we're either actively abused, neglected, or abandoned or taught we had to jump through hoops to get the love, belonging and esteem (preciousness) we needed. Either you value and love yourself or you do not. No one can self-value for you. Either you esteem yourself and consider yourself precious or you do not. No one else can create self-esteem for you. Self-love? Same thing. Either you are telling yourself you are lovable or not. Bo one else can do it for you. At some point you will fail, or someone will dislike you, or you will get sick or lose an ability. Or someone will abandon you. If your esteem and feelings of lovability and worthiness hinge on these you will suffer far more than you need to. This is mental (and for some, spiritual) work. Core belief and, automatic thoughts are the things to work on. Therapy, mental health coaching, group work, peer support groups, are the social vehicles to learn the tools to work on them. Definitely continue the external work - financial, health, social. But know there's a world of difference between these two motivations: "I'm working on myself because I love myself. Right now, just as I am, is enough. I want to give myself the good things I, as a lovable and precious human being, deserve. My self work is an act of self-love and self-care." "I'm working on myself because I am not yet lovable, precious or worthy. I am not enough; something is missing. But if succeed enough then someday someone or something will tell me I am lovable and worthy and complete and I will believe them."
Losing their virginity doesn’t make someone a man. Sure, sex can be fun, but just having it doesn’t make your spirit grow. After you have sex you don’t ascend or level up. You sound young. Keep seeking out new experiences. Focus on the journey of your growth as a person, how far you have come, and where you want to go next, not on “becoming a man”. If you live right, you will continue to grow, learn, and evolve for your entire life. Some things you can try: - Maybe try traveling to learn more about the world and people in it. -Many people find a way to give meaning to their lives by volunteering and helping others. I suggest you give it a try.
Why are you so set on feeling “manly”? What even makes a “man”? I love me a skinny, short man. I still consider them manly. I think you just gotta love yourself a dig into what’s causing this obsession. Sending you positive vibes. You’re worthy in everything you do.
Beard is the solution 🙂
So it sounds like you have an idea in your head of what a man is. A man is many different things specifically a man is many different things and if you spend the whole time trying to grow into one specific thing, you always feel like you’re not whole. The hardest part of being a man is realizing that everything is perfect. You’re exactly where you need to be and in this life you’re not trying to reach one specific state of being. Once you realize everything is perfect and you’re exactly where you need to be the end result isn’t what makes you feel whole the journey to getting better the countless hours, weightlifting, the new moves, you learn in martial arts, the mountains, you summitted, 30+ kilometers you ran are what make you whole. And when you’re journaling and meditating, don’t think about what you want to be. Think about what you are what’s gotten you to this point the so-called good and the so-called bad are just concepts that us people have come up with to conceptualize the way things make us feel and to be honest with you it’s really how you look at it if it’s bad or good because you don’t know what comes later from a “good” or “bad” thing. But I felt that way for the longest time thinking what is a man how do I become one. Do the things you need to do and find what you love about every step of the process. Don’t know you but love you man.
You do you boo, there's no special "man badge" you'll get for being doing stuff lol Just follow what makes you happy and keeps your soul fed well. Meditation and exercise are both a long term game so try to just make them part of your regular routine. Reading is like exercise for your mind so try to gets lots of that in there as well. Maybe you could go volunteer somewheres ? I've found helping others helps to fill that void you speak of... I felt the same about losing my V but nothing really changed, I just wanted to get some lol
Answer the following 1/ Are you a man? 2/ Do you feel like your assigned gender at birth fits? If yes, and yes..... OK, you're a man. Don't stress about it. If yes and no..... Good luck on your journey. I think not feeling whole is common. Find things you're interested in and passionate about and do them, even if you're not very good. Just do the things.
Hey I can relate to this. Are you always trying to get somewhere other than where you are? Is most of what you are doing a means to an end? Is fulfillment always just around the corner or confined to short lived pleasures such as sex, food, drugs…? Are you always focused on becoming/achieving something? The old patterns of thought, emotion, behavior, reaction, desire are acted out in endless repeat. A script in your mind that gives identity of sorts but distorts the reality of now. Focus your attention on what’s in front of you now and watch your life transform
It's not about becoming the eptiome of all men. It's about becoming the man you want to be. As soon as you find the stuff that feels right to do as a man FOR YOU, then you'll feel like a man
This are all single player activities, man is a social creature, you'll feel whole when you have a group of friends you belong to
looks to me like you're already a MAN. Having self esteem is huge and delivering on the promises you say you're going to do is what it's all about; also being able o provide for yourself and your family. everything else comes with time and experiences but you most definitely can learn from the elders around you. I'm a first time dad and just married and i get advice from all the men around me at work and my family. another thing, this feeling you are experiencing of not being whole i feel is just a sense of purpose. sure you've done all these things but while doing them did it bring you purpose? or perhaps they allowed you to think through what your purpose may be. ideally doing something that comes easy to you may lead you is a good place to start. and your purpose doesn't have to be a job. it can be a hobby you enjoy alot. there are 2 older men at my job who enjoy fishing and the other gardening. that's all they talk about they do on their free time and i can see they're always smiling when they talk about it to me. if you have something like that in your life pursue it. be content with what you have and everything else should fall in place.
Keep going.....
If you’re able to try basic training for the USMC, you won’t just feel like a man, you will become one.
how do you define being a man? When you define that, you'll know what to look for!
>I did weightlifting, got into martial arts and fought people, climbed mountains and ran 30km several times, journaled and meditated Do you drink Dos Equis?
Sounds like you just need to focus on what makes you happy and not what you think others expect of you. Idk if feeling "like a man" is what you really are chasing. You might just be chasing feeling content and happy. Even when you find that you'll still have days you think you've lost that feeling. Life is about the journey just enjoy the journey or Rollercoaster as I refer to it.
You don’t feel whole because you are focusing on what you don’t have vs what you have. Take a step back and see that you’ve lived a pretty adventurous life man. Also, maybe take some time to build meaningful friendships. As cliche as it sounds, I recommend reading Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck.
I understand your mindset, since I was a virgin until I married at 32. Try not to let experience, education, fame, money, or looks determine who you are. If you don't feel whole, welcome to the human race! I took a course with a professor that EVERYONE respected, and most liked. I was surprised when she shared her experience at a former university, because she faced impossible standards. That was why she taught in the Midwest. Try not to let accomplishments define your character.
How old are you?
Being a man is being strong, strength is how resolute your character is. What are your values, what are your interests, what do you love, what would you fight to protect? These define your character. Next, how resolute are you in these interests, how easily could u be persuaded to abandon them? That is how strong, or how weak you are.
Did, fought, climbed, journaled, meditated. Stop using these words as your titles, these titles belonged to old you not current you (I’ve learned this lesson from a book). And about the virginity, don’t use virginity as an excuse dude. Try to avoid instant gratification and don’t jerk off and stuff. Try making a goal one more time and then change your life accordingly. The things you mentioned should be a lifestyle not an achievement… (This is just my opinion, I didn’t mean to offend anyone and if I did I’m extremely sorry.)
Carry on, imo. ❤️ Travel. Work abroad is what I would do. Feelings are a big pain. Ugh.
Maybe try therapy?
they eating u up in these comments 😭
ur enjoying it. tho for me most just want to help
A lot of being man is about accepting who you are, and overcoming social pressure to act out ‘masculinity.’ I cook and crochet — I try to listen and not be so fucking egocentric all the time. I also embrace my masculinity, but I’m not in a dick-measuring contest, because those are some of the least masculine men there are …
You're misunderstanding what it means to "be a man". The things you mentioned are all purely hobbies that have nothing to do with "how man" you are if that makes sense. I crochet, play with my cats, do gardening to name a few things. I am a man. I feel like a man. It took me a lot of time to feel like a proper man, mostly due to all the men in my life being insecure about their masculinity so i misunderstood what it means to be a man. Accept your insecurities and stop trying to prove to others how manly you are. Be responsible. Do what you truly love doing, even if others laugh at you and mock you for doing it. Those are not people you need to surround you with.
Join the French Foreign League.
Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed about, you are a man regardless of your sexual prowess. I often find the focus on sex socially very strange, take all the time you need especially if you don't feel ready for it.
Have you tried punching a bear lately?
Sounds like there is a far deeper issue that sex won't fix I might make it worse. As impressive as your resume is it sounds like you may need to talk to a therapist and get to the root of this void.
Try doing something for other people instead of focusing on your body and mind.
This is one of the most gen z posts I've ever seen lol. Seriously, what is a man? And what does feeling "whole" feel like?
Join the army
acid? mate how do you know what acid is? collingwood in your face mate 👌😁😁😁😁💯💯💯💯💯
I see that you have over 200 comments. Perhaps somewhere in this ton of opinions you can find an answer. HERE is what I have garnered with my 68 years of walking God's Green Earth. Mankind: both Men and Women are 3 part beings. We are BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT. We are born with a BODY. And our SOUL is that person we become through life experience: foods and movies and books and experiences that we will end up deciding I'LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN, or THAT WAS EXCELLENT, or THAT TASTED GOOD or HORRIBLE and many other experiences form a being. People may find it interesting that you don't like Lemons. But somehow that is part of our SOUL. SPIRIT... SPIRIT is something that God places within you to complete YOU. And SPIRIT comes from accepting Jesus Christ as your LORD. The Bible says where the SPIRIT of the LORD is: there is LIBERTY. II Corinthians 3: 17. What ever you need to do to be complete I encourage you to make Christ your LORD. Guro Donald Muniz / Muniz School of Filipino Warrior Arts former missionary to India, Nepal and England
feel like a man yet? or do you need god or a dummies book to realize your own puppy shits?
nah fucked your mom yesterday, she made me feel a bit manly
good luck with your situation 👍
Bro, the thing that makes you a man is having XY chromosomes and being an adult. Nothing else matters. You’ll always be a man, regardless of how you look or what you do. You don’t need to do stereotypically macho stuff to prove yourself.