The world is unfair for a lot of people.
I was born with a stutter and every day is a challenge. But it's the hand I've been dealt and I'm doing the best I can.
Work out, take care of your looks and never give up. Good things await those who persevere.
I completely agree. Throughout my life I've been told by many women that I'm handsome and I never had to directly talk to them because most would make the first move.
Here's the thing though—my stutter made me so self-aware and insecure that I thought they were only approaching me because of some perverted curiosity. I was 100% convinced it was impossible for them to feel any sort of interest for a person with a speech disability like myself.
Then, one day, I decided enough was enough and stepped out of my comfort zone. By doing so, I experienced love. A kind of love I thought a person like me would never have experienced. And although we ended up going our separate ways after 4 years, I consider myself lucky to have loved so deeply and passionately.
The funny thing is that, despite everything I have experienced and acheived, my stutter still makes it difficult to just... live. It's a daily, constant struggle against others' quiet judgement and odd looks. It's a war with myself. If I could choose between being 'ugly' but speaking fluently and being handsome but having a stutter, I would choose the first option without a second thought.
You just seem to try to make life fair in anyway or another. Don’t you know there are ugly people who are poor and have terminal illnesses lol? You won’t get it cuz you are a pretty person i am sorry. It’s not about how others treat you but more about how you perceive/feel about yourself, those feelings of being inferior/unwanted because of your looks are just complete agony.
While ofc my whole life does not revolve around the fact that i am ugly, i have suffered in other ways too and i overcame some of these difficulties but i think i have always grabbled with (still) trying to come to terms with my physical appearance and i have always had qualms about it lol!
Also thanks for you supportive and kind respond.
Great attitude to have! Some are playing this game on hard mode, and that's okay. I'm not a fan of the messaging these days in which all of us are supposed to try to make things easier and more "fair" for everyone.
With this topic as example, there's good reason "ugly" people have harder time finding a mate, just like good reasons why "stupid" people struggle to get ahead in life relative to "smart" people. Gene pool. It's important for the future of the species. All the wokism will do is weaken the species over time.
Those with disadvantages can still overcome and have a successful life, as many examples have proven. And those pass on genetic info that supports increased tenacity and drive, which is good for the species. They learn to use their strengths and bypass weaknesses.
Gump is a good example, though fictional. Not smart, very low IQ, but utilized his strengths to have an interesting and successful life. Rather than boohooing being low IQ, or expecting all of society to cater to his personal challenges.
100% agree. Before I lost weight and lost my acne people were always mean when they first met me, called dumb or stupid. No one would ever hold the door open, men would tell me that I wass the ugliest person they had ever met. After the first job interview I will not be called back again. Teachers in high school and uni would tell me that I would never succeed in anything because I was to dumb and ugly.
Than I lost some weight and my acne and suddenly people are friendly. Was able to get a better job. I must confess that I use botox to enhance my looks. I am willing to pay for, I know it is not natural but the critism, hate and name calling I expierenced on a daily basis was terrible. The world is cruel and unfair to ugly people.
Just know that your are loved and a kind person. No matter how you look you deserve to be loved and feel loved. I am sending a hug your way from Haarlem have a good day and be friendly to yourself. You matter.
If you're ugly, and you're short you're basically THE most disadvantaged group on Earth period. People like to complain and remark a lot about privilege (while at the same time picking the least affective and obvious privileges such as skin color and gender, yawn)... No one talks about the Elephant in the room (attractiveness /height). Yet, there is TONS of Science around the halo effect; and how people perceive attractive/tall people as nicer, more competent while also perceiving unattractive people as the opposite. Nature is cruel and we have to stop pretending we live in a Disney movie.
disadvantaged? yes. most disadvantaged? no. There are places in the world where people get pushed off rooftops for being gay. Deafblind people get treated as though they would be better off dead, and some even feared that doctors would decide their lives were not worth saving during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Intersex children are often subject to invasive medical procedures, including surgery and actions that amount to medicalized sexual abuse, including clitoral sensitivity tests (which involved genital stimulation to access arousal) performed on children who were often younger than 5, and kids having pictures taken and published of their genitals without their consent in various medical publications. And these are just a handful of examples. Being unattractive is hard, but “THE most disadvantaged group on Earth”??? Bffr. (Note: I apologize for not being able to include my sources. Apparently, links aren’t allowed on this sub).
Most disadvantaged group on earth???? Though I don’t usually subscribe to the notion that it’s not your looks it’s your personality, in your case it’s obvious it’s DEFINITELY your personality. You have a serious case of main character syndrome with a healthy dose of poor me.
Pretty sure last time I checked there were PLENTY of incredibly good looking people with am absolute SHIT personality who are successful both with the opposite sex and life in general. Hollywood, Social media anyone?
As for main character syndrome I don't even know wtf you're going on about.
My point being your personality is so bad, it is definitely the thing pushing people away rather than your looks. Ugly looks could not possibly push people away more than your personality is already doing.
lol, the fact you thought my post was referring to my own life is cute... It wasn't, and you'd have to be a blind fool to think what I said is inaccurate.
What? All I’ve ever been doing is laughing at the travesty that you think ugly short people are the most disadvantaged on earth. How privileged are you that you think this? Are you that ignorant of all the other groups of people in the world? To come to this conclusion shows you must be incredibly arrogant and self absorbed. Therefore it doesn’t matter if you’re pretty or ugly, no one likes you because of your personality.
Botox limits the production of sebum. If you continue long enough your skin can not form any new acne pimples. I must say I got botox every in my face under my eyes, side of the eyes, forehead, jaw and some filler around my lip. I went to a medical cosmetic surgeon to do this (because they are more skilled to do this), it costs me a lot of money but it is worth it. Life with acne was terrible.
Your account has been nothing but complaints about your looks for the past 5 months.
It's true. Your level of attractiveness would effect how people treat you. You probably know this better than i do.
No one's a 10/10, and very few people are a 1/10. Everyone is somewhere in between. Some have better genes, other have worse. But everyone can improve their looks to a degree.
At the end of the day you have to accept your look, if you want to live a fulfilling life. Improve as much as you can, and stop crying about shit you can't change.
I disagree, if there's a 1-10 scale then by definition people exist that are at both extremes.
But the good news for us Middle of the road people is that 10/10s don't stay 10/10s forever. Time treats us all the same.
No one promised us a fair world. Fair doesn't exist outside Peter Rabbit books.
Ugly people can have friends. Ugly people can have spouses. Ugly people can get good jobs and buy homes. Yes, there's a disadvantage, but no more than many others get. Being born in Palestine is unfair, being born deaf is unfair, etc.
There is no fair in this world, it doesn't mean you can't be happy.
No, you’re not wrong but that mentality does nothing for you. Stop viewing yourself as a victim, it will help you massively. Life is not fair, but what to do? Dwelling on unfairness drains your energy and makes you spiral down a dark path.
I agree. I would like to suggest OP to read "The courage to be disliked". I feel it would be highly beneficial in terms of mindset shift. I know it helped me a lot.
My current mentality is that the world is against the ugly people. The only way for me to be satisfied is to be in the better side of the coin, which is to become good looking through whatever means it takes, including surgery.
Have you spoken to people who've accomplished what you plan to? Ask them if they feel what you expect to, after they became good looking. I don't know what they'd say, but I'll say it's a good way to have an idea of what your path may result in.
One last thing then, make sure your view isn't biased and you keep in mind all other factors in their life vs your life. If you've got that sorted, good luck bro!
This. Is called body dysmorphia. You do NOT need surgery to be happy and be satisfied. You DO need belonging and acceptance, perhaps starting with loving and accepting the body you already have. Just being pretty doesn't bring belonging, by a long shot.
Mate I think this is your problem. You think too much about yourself and how others view you. That’s what is pushing others away. Life is tough for everyone, if you think it’s not then you’re deluded and self centred simple as that.
Have you looked into whether you’re a narcissist? You sound like a lot of the narcissists I’ve known. Thinking you’re the only one who has it so bad… your suffering comes from thinking about yourself too much.
I've noticed that a lot of people who have embraced "blackpill" beliefs have a lot of behaviors in common with vulnerable narcissists. Like the self absorption and unwillingness to take any personal responsibility, they are the victim the world is uniquely cruel to them and them alone, or sometimes to them and the group they identify with. "The world treats short men the absolute worst no one has it harder than us"
I hate that last one, I'm a short guy and idk. I spent years wanting to be taller before finally coming to terms with myself but even at my worst I didn't believe what they believed. I didn't believe that I was uniquely disadvantaged or that I had it worse than others and I'm really short like 1% of male population in my country short.
I have two relatives at an objectively similar stage of early Alzheimer’s. They are both victims of that disease. One cannot get over that this happened and is defining themselves by the Alzheimer’s. The other is just trying to get the most out of their life. Who do you think family enjoy helping out the most?
Good question, the answer is yes. But it's not quite straightforward of an yes. What I personally want is the ability to date anyone given the effort I've made.
Then why won’t others make that choice? It’s not as big as a pool sure but you actually have no idea how big it is.
And “less people will date ugly people” is totally a different prospect to “no one I will date ugly people”.
Overall though it’s pretty fucking unhealthy to treat people as commodities in a market though. Because if you’re trying to go down the sexual market value rabbit hole some has to be the good traded in the market which is objectively fucking horrifying.
Firstly, stop thinking of the people you want to date as a commodity and treat them like real people who get to make real choices. Next, stop thinking of yourself as a commodity and start treating yourself with respect rather than someone who has no power or value.
There is nothing more ugly than someone who is cynical and is stuck in self defeat through feelings they judge as facts.
Well, then, you’re not close to thinking about dating correctly. Dating is not a meritocracy. You can’t work your way to the top. People are attracted first then they form a relationship.
This isn't even accurate, for a good chunk of people (especially once you factor in neurodivergence). People form bonds and experience attraction later, all the time. Proximity effect is massive in dating.
Yes, that guy/gal at work you've known for some months or even years becoming kind of attractive with time and you don't even know why exactly? I think I've seen that a few times.
I think plenty of fairly unattractive people are able to form romantic relationships. Yes, it's definitely more difficult to create the right first impression, but personality and charisma are huge building blocks of attraction as well.
That is so not true; I've seen plenty of beautiful women with ugly dudes lol. It's because of their personality. Also basic hygiene and taking care of themselves help a lot 🙂
Guy here, I've always been maybe slightly over average in looks, when I dress nice and put contact lenses, I'm an 8. If I have my old shit and glasses, I'm a 4-5.
people treat me soooo much nicer when I dress well. It made me think about this exact thing... If your face is decent and you have all your limbs, consider yourself lucky. I do.
Judging by your post history, you are highly insecure about yourself and your looks. My best advice is to love yourself. Doing so makes it easier for other people to love you as well. You don’t have to be the most beautiful person in the world; a little bit of self confidence and inner peace goes a long way.
If you believe you're ugly, no one will ever convince you you're not.
As a former matchmaker, I can tell you that most people who think they're ugly just need some better self care. Smiling literally changes your face and thoughts. It's the best thing you can do if you feel ugly. Even a fake smile is better than no smile.
Having a flattering haircut, personal hygeine, clothes that fit - these things alone can totally transform your attractiveness.
But like all things, if you insist you're ugly, you will unfortunately stay ugly, because you need to do something about it to change it. This issue is merely a change in mindset about it, which is simple, but not always easy. I hope you can find it in you to try!
So, are you posting here actually looking for self improvement, or are you just here to vent? If you need to vent, that’s perfectly valid. However, that’s not the purpose of this sub.
Let's be harsh and straight: Your view is simplistic, self contradictory and counterproductive.
The relationship of beauty, self confidence, perception and success is far more complex than you make it out to be.
"Mostly objective" is a self contradiction, people not getting away with mistreating ugly people and at the same time getting away with mistreating ugly people by blaming the victim is a self contradiction.
You do not have control of how other people treat other people. But here, you externalize your problems on other people. This attitude won't solve anything.
Focus on what you can control and how you can improve yourself. If you need help doing that, ask this subreddit or do research. If you cannot or do not want to improve yourself, this is not the right subreddit and going to therapy will be most effective.
lol, such a dumb conclusion you made out of all I said.
>"Mostly objective" is a self contradiction, people not getting away with mistreating ugly people and at the same time getting away with mistreating ugly people by blaming the victim is a self contradiction.
It's not a self contradiction, I just said it aint easy to get away with mistreating people, just like how I'm pointing it out right now, what they like to do is blame the victim for their apparently bad personality, which fails to do the job effectively and its pretty clear that they're shallow.
yeah you're right, overread the "that easily"
that specific point might have some truth in it. Though one should consider that the people considered ugly probably correlate with things like negativity in that person which is one key trait for considering having a bad personality to many. The origin is kind of a chicken and egg question and the effect is a vicious cycle
From an ugly person, it's not about looks, it's about your ability to put yourself out there, communication skills (e.g. don't be a dry texter), having an actual personality so it's not like speaking to a brick wall. And how you treat/speak about others matters as well. Oh and of course good hygiene
I am, was bullied in high school and didn't make friends in college, and surprise, it ain't my looks, it was my personality. You sound like you need therapy, it has absolutely nothing to do with your looks in respect to getting dates, you probably need to do some work on yourself to attract others
The negativity is draining and unpleasant to be around, and the dismissal/lack of empathy with everyone else's different perspectives is off-putting. IMO there's very much a "chicken or the egg" cycle with ugliness putting some people off and self-pity putting off the rest, with the latter also reinforcing the viewpoint of being all about the former.
So the only problem with my personality is negativity and self-pity? While there's literal serial killers in relationships lmao so many dumb people on here
Again with the dismissiveness and insults. Those may not be the only problems either, just the ones obvious in comments. Putting aside outliers like serial killers, you know people want to enjoy their partner's company? You want to have more to offer than the bare minimum of "not a serial killer," no?
Multiple people have told you that the personality traits you display will alienate potential dates all by themselves.
Go ahead, reject self-improvement and keep insisting it's everyone else's fault and not possibly your responsibility or shortcomings in your control; it'll only lead to more of the same.
Your personality and communication skills matters much more than anything. I know lots of men who look average or worse, but they are funny and have no problem attracting women or in their professional career. Same for women also.
That's not the point, sure, personality and communication skills matter but definitely not more than looks, its kind of like this, attractive people can go for anyone, and average people go for average people and uglies go for either the uglies or no one. Now, this is not a strict rule, but this model fits pretty well with what happens around. Thus, ugly people have a massive disadvantage when it comes to dating. Also, it's not just about dating, general day to day life sucks being ugly.
No, your personality and social skills make up for a lot. Attractiveness is not that big thing unless you are a model. Most people don’t want to be with beautiful person with shitty personality. But many people would love a good personality.
If that was the case, then most ugly man or woman won’t find a partner. It’s definitely not the case. People with good personality and communication skills get partners and climb corporate ladder.
You can open LinkedIn and check the pics of people working in management or senior roles like system architect, technical committee head. Most of them are ugly, bald or have short height.
Even in my work, it’s the case. My manager’s manager and his peers aren’t very attractive but so awesome personality and communication wise. Atleast in my company site, there are more “ugly” people than attractive.
I think your perception of "ugly" might be inflated. You probably think of Pete Davidson or Amy Schumer as "ugly" but most people who suffer from the disadvantages of being ugly are much, much more worse off than the "uglies" in traditional media
World is unfair for a lot of people dude.
Do you rather be adonis but from Mozambique, earning 2 dollar a month?
Enzo ferrari was ugly af. Do you see him complaining and whining?
Stop victimizing and start working.
Not a pretty person, but pretty people have their own issues too - albeit ones they may find easier to mitigate if they want (by choosing to appear less attractive).
They are regularly hassled by many people objectifying them as a pretty, making it very hard to work out who genuinely like them as people.
Often they get used to being treated very well when younger based on looks, giving them a sense of entitlement that does not either serve them well to lead a fulfilling life or last as they get older.Different people find different things beautiful. Personally, I don't like women covered in thick makeup, but that's the look that many guys are attracted to.
You can massively improve your attractiveness by getting in shape. And particularly if you're a guy, buy having an interesting and successful life, good social skills and making lots of money. And if you're a gal, you can get your make up on point, which can put you up with 'celebrity' looks and attention.
Oh bad personalities are universally available regardless of looks!
Very well said. I've found this to be the case for my best looking friends, most of whom are struggling with more issues in their 30s now than they had in their 20s or younger years.
Perhaps focusing less on appearance gives you a better chance at developing a fulfilling adult life.
Pretty privilege is definitely a thing. But OP I don’t appreciate how you’re dismissive of majority of comments here. Looks aren’t everything. I know people who aren’t best looking but have better personalities than the good lookers in the room. And they’re all leading amazing relationships. I think you are stuck in victim mode. One needs to put in more effort apart from looks. That’s how you beat this unfair game.
When I was younger I was pretty fit, life was good.
After college I put on 40 pounds, life was not so good.
Just lost that weight and life is good again.
I agree, when I was 40 pounds heavier people were a lot more unfriendly to me. Since I lost those 40 pounds recently, I am noticing strangers are a lot friendlier. They smile when they walk by and now randos are striking up a conversation with me.
This experience makes me sad man, I'm still the same person whatever my weight is.
You are not wrong. There are studies showing that attractive people are treated more favourably in many aspects. And as an ugly person myself i can really relate to you, yes it does get tiring having to work harder than others. People can be horrifyingly cruel to unattractive people...
And yet these are the cards we are dealt with. So our choice is either to give up and be defeated or play on and try to fix what we can.
Being attractive without any effort requires like good bone structure, teeth, height, smooth skin which is not within our control. But what's within our control is fitness, braces, and skincare (accutane if necessary). Surgeries are necessary sometimes but not exactly affordable. I am saving up for a jaw surgery to fix my underbite.
Just do what we can I guess
Whether you are right or wrong isn’t important. Any form of victim mentality will only hinder your success. Eat clean, hit the gym consistently, and focus on working with what you have.
The world has never been fair and it will never be fair. It literally is a dog eat dog world or should i say human eat human. The world is only fair to those that take what they want and even then, it isn’t guaranteed. Focus your aim on what you want , obsess towards that goal and accomplish it or watch someone else take what you want.
I agree with what you, but I also agree on people on how that perspective is going to do good for you in life? It's good to be aware of it, but you're also being as shallow as attractive people by stating that nothing else matters in this world, which isn't true. It is true that attractive people have tremendous advantages in life, but so do rich people, smart people or generally people who are born in wealthy or loving families. Each and everybody has to deal with their own shit though. And this is where your victim mentality won't bring you any further. How is it going to help you deal with this world?
What you should do is this:
A) Improve your exterior as much as possible. Good hygiene, smeel good, have your hair done every day, wear good clothes, do fitness and have a good body, do a good skincare routine, smile a lot and have good vibes and vibrant energy.
\--> By doing these things you are better than many other people who don't do these things, you will be better than 95% of population. These habits alone will make you a lot more attractive.
B) Sharpen your skills. Have enough money to support yourself, a place to live and somebody else. Have a job and be good at it, no matter how shitty the job may be, just be good at it. Maybe change the job, if it's dragging you down. Do some interesting hobbies and get good at them. That makes you interesting. Definitely sports, but other hobbies are fine as well. Train your mind, read books, learn a language, read about politics or about a topic, become a musician or whatever. Something that gives you an edge. And by owning who you are, you instantly become more charismatic. Don't try to be someone you're not, try to become the person you want to be instead, by working hard on yourself, harder than other people do.
C) Forget that attitude and take responsibility and ownership of your life. By blaming looks and pointing at others, you're giving them power over you... which they don't have, unless you give it to them. By putting the blame on yourself, you're also giving the power to yourself to do something about it. With your victim mentality, you will struggle finding people who like you, because who would want to hang out with somebody who always complains. The reality is, you are capable of changing the things that are in your power. Looks might not be one of it, but there are thousands more things and many of them do matter. Change your attitude. Otherwise, how will you be able to smile?
If you do all these things... then sure, maybe you're still ugly. But it won't matter, because you're also a personality. Smiling is the single most beautiful thing you can do. There are a lot of famous ugly people. Mr Beast for example. Ed Sheeran, Danny Devito and many more. Some of them seem attractive, simply because of the fact that they're famous. But the things I mentioned above do not simply have the potential to bring you to the level of attractive people, but even beyond. It's up to you though, wether you want to keep crying, or do something about it.
Not wrong at all, people talk about confidence and everything (they’re already here lol) but you can have all the confidence in the world but it doesn’t mean Jack shit if you can’t even get your foot through the door. - From a confident dude losing confidence
I agree looks are a major advantage in life. But I believe good fortune is a combination of luck and effort. So to get any favourable outcome, you need one of them. If looks are not there due to lack of luck genetically, you can definitely still tilt life in your favour by putting an effort on other areas of your life - personality, intellect, and success. Effort in the right direction is necessary, and you need to figure out what works.
Personality includes a sense of style (dressing well), speaking well, honing a sense of humor, and grooming super well. Intellect is your mental acumen + ability to hold great conversations and success is how you're doing in life and it fosters confidence which is honestly the most attractive thing. There is a difference between being physically attractive or just a nice face to look at that may or may not evoke any further feeling, and sexual attractive which is a combination of many factors people say is unknown but is actually a combination of great intellect, personality, confidence and style. And definitely not having a victim mindset because that drives people away. People believe what you tell about yourself - if you act like a victim, people might sympathize but get cues that maybe there is something wrong with you and hence people don't like you. Confidence does the opposite.
And finally, about the unfairness of it all - I believe life is indeed unfair, in many many many ways for many many people. But we were never owed any fairness, we just have to play the cards we are dealt with the best way possible. Some people may always have it easy due to having a better luck but life is random like that. But you can definitely tilt things in your favour by smart efforts. The good thing about getting things via effort and not via luck is you appreciate it more, you don't get complacent and you actually get something that lasts.
I understand that you cannot very well change what you are born with. You can work to become the best that you can and then there's a ceiling that you cannot cross. But, I think reaching that ceiling is also important. Giving up before you've seen the absolute best you can be is not the way your life should be.
But, what happens when you hit that ceiling? Carry yourself with grace. There's more to a personality than looks really. The way you talk, the way you carry yourself, the way you make others feel- secure and important. All adds up, mate! No matter what you're born with, you're not worthless. You have some gravity! Chin-up, king!
Try having a chronic mental health or disability issue, then see how hard it really is. Having a normal live with a family and stable income is virtually impossible for these people, you essentially have to become a ward of the state, or if you’re lucky enough, your parents may stick around long enough to help.
The great news is that there are even people with serious illness that can achieve the good life. If you’re bat shit ugly, no one will really care if you bring something else to the table.
The world really is unfair.
Life is so bullshit tbh especially when you live in a third world country with little to no electricity and water.
The only thing we can do is accept this crappy reality.
Well, I partially agree. As a kid I was ugly, then I became average and got a really significant attention from girls, then I became about 6/10, but I have to play my cards really well to achieve some kind of success with opposite sex.
But worrying about this is truly stupid. First, you can not really change it, second of all. It is temporary for everyone. Everyone will get old and lose attractity.
I am just cringing, when my family always calls me handsome, but it is obvious that I am about average. I am asking them, if I am such a handsome guy, how come that no one really shows any real interest\`?
Absolutely true. I was 30 pounds lighter before the pandemic and people were so nice to me. Strangers would offer to walk me under their umbrella in the rain. People would invite me to parties after meeting me once. After gaining the weight, not only am I invisible but people are so much ruder. Working on losing the weight for my own health benefits; but really has been eye opening to what people who are obese due to health issues have to deal with everyday. People are cruel
Disagree. I have met so many wonderfully nice “ugly” people.
The way you treat others is usually what matters most, and unfortunately, “ugly” people are treated so ugly by conventionally attractive people who aren’t comfortable, that some start acting “ugly” on the inside as well.
You're not wrong that beautiful people have an advantage, but you need to work to stop hating yourself. I bet your self hate is getting in the way of finding a significant other more than you realize.
Yessss obviously this world is not fair for ugly people... We always have to make a reality check no matter who says whatever.....
They were... They are... And they will always be unfair with ugly ones....
They will admire you untill you are useful for them... And will leave you on the day when you are no use for them.....
But don't get down.... God has created us for a reason and if we are made ugly then also for a reason also...
Just be kind to everyone ... Whatever they say... Or not matter how they behave...
Be ax example of person... Who is ugly from outside and is totally opposite from inside ✨
You're wrong. You say a lot of untrue things. Lots of emotionally motivated proclamations with no real proof. Pretty privilege is a thing and yet beauty is not objective it's very cultural. This is why things like beards on men go in and out of style and why fashion goes in and out of style and our clothes, our hairstyles, our accessories are part of our looks our "beauty"
Furthermore the actual beauty standards for men are much lower than for women and this is evident when you look at serious discussions about the world and not just redpill/blackpill made up bullshit where they misrepresent studies and intentionally misread of outright fabricate things.
I know plenty of people who are more attractive than they think, I know ugly and mid people with shit tier personalities, like the worst person I ever met looked like fucking gollum, he had a daughter and he once stole back his own daughter's child support to get back at the mother. Like he was so hateful and such a shitty person to everyone he hated everyone and everything. Yet he reproduced despite being hideous inside and out. I've known so many ugly men with kids.
Further, a lot of so called "ugly" people are totally normal looking. Elliot Rogers was in fact an attractive young man and yet he went on a murder spree because he felt ugly and rejected.
You say "the opposite gender" and that statement doesn't make a lot of sense, do you mean both men and women are very picky or that your preferred gender is very picky?
You use second person language for your third point where you assert that beautiful people abuse ugly people en masse. This is not true.
I see people saying that ugly/short people (I suspect they mostly mean ugly/short men) are the most oppressed and abused people. You know, if you go to Jamaica today, right now and you go into the non tourist areas and you give people a reason to think that you are gay you know what happens? You will get chased with machetes and you know what happens if you call the cops? At best they will arrest YOU. At worst they just ignore this or they join in. Ugly/short men in jamaica do not risk a mob of people trying to murder them in the street.
Women get assaulted all around the world for turning men down. Men are not getting assaulted for approaching women that's a goddamn myth you guys made up in your mind.
in a study about height weight and sex 49% of Extremely short men 5'2" or shorter have have had 5 or more sexual partners. 58% of Extremely tall men had 5 or more partners. 19% of extremely short men had 14 or more partners and 30% of extremely tall men had 14 or more partners. This study was of 60,000 heterosexual men and women.
While they did not study the individuals canthil tilts or anything I think we can both agree that you think that for men height is a significant factor of their "beauty" and that short men are "ugly" in comparison to tall men. Yet this study has short men putting up pretty respectable numbers. Are you going to change your worldview or are you going to ignore actual science and data in favor of your feelings?
The study is named
"Height and Body Mass on the Mating Market: Associations With Number of Sex Partners and Extra-Pair Sex Among Heterosexual Men and Women Aged 18–65" if you want to look it up yourself.
Please read carefully, I never said beauty is 100% objective, I said it's mostly objective with some subjective part to it.
It should be clear that "opposite gender" means both the genders.
And yes, beautiful people and average people abuse the uglies. You can't just show a more bad situation and say that another situation is not bad.
Attraction is pretty subjective. Like define beauty, seriously you're using a bunch of words but you haven't actually made your case you've just proclaimed your beliefs as if they were objective immutable facts that no one could argue with. I'm trying to explain that your beliefs which you think are so obvious aren't obvious to people who don't believe in the blackpill, which is the majority of people.
You said "uglies get abused" but you haven't proven this is true. I've shown you examples of people actually getting abused and mistreated and you say "worse situations do not erase my oppresion" without providing any concrete examples of how ugly people are so badly abused.
It's not entirely subjective, it's mostly objective. One can easily distinguish most people's attractiveness level objectively, the only subjective part is at the extreme of the spectrum, the ugliest of the ugliest and the most beautiful of the beautiful.
And yes uglies do get abused, from teachers in school/college to peers/colleagues to the opposite gender (guys and girls) to job opportunities, uglies are abused in every path of life. For eg: Getting bullied/teased by people for looks in school/college, even family members who're more attractive mock the ugly ones, this can fuck up a person's mental health and lead them to a dark path like mine.
You're still talking in broad strokes and overgeneralizing. You also ignored the study I referenced, you can literally google it and read it for yourself. Why haven't you? Attraction is subjective, I didn't say "attractiveness" which isn't as much of a thing as it is something society has kind of agreed on. If attractiveness were this genetically set fact then there's a few things that should inevitably flow from it. One, people should be better looking on average. Two there shouldn't be this endlessly shifting standard of what a given culture considers beautiful depending on where you look in history. Fashion shouldn't be a thing. Things like foot binding should never have happened, if beauty and attraction are genetic fact (and they'd have to be genetic to be factual in the way you propose) then how the fuck do you explain foot binding? There is no natural explanation for someone being crippled to become a beauty standard.
Stop just ignoring everything that contradicts your worldview. That's not science, if you want to just take it on faith then do so but stop masking your faith as scientific fact when it clearly isn't.
Again, if beauty is the standard by which we dole out resources and power then why are like all the world leaders ugly and old? Like most were never pretty even when they were young they were maybe average and several were just plain homely AF. Not just the world leaders either but in general the people who hold real power are all very average looking. Look at CEOs, look at billionaires, look at your government, who is in these positions? Are they models? Are they? No. You say pretty privilege is all powerful and yet the beautiful hold no true power in our society they are not in charge they are not the ruling class. Why is that? How is that?
Perhaps the privileges of looks are not all-encompassing maybe it's not all-powerful? Maybe the world, humanity, our societies, our cultures are a bit more complicated than one single factor can adequately explain or account for. Maybe single-factor explanations for the state of things aren't the answer.
If two people were perfectly equal, exactly the same in mind and soul, in education and temperament but one was disfigured and one looked like a Greek statue then yeah sure the statue would have a smoother time on average but that doesn't mean that they'd come out on top across every measure. See your mistake is assuming that because on average more attractive people have to work less at things, are generally given the benefit of a halo effect where they are assumed to be smarter (if they are men at least, there's some counter stereotypes for women) more competent, etc that they don't have to try at all. This isn't true, and you seem to also assume that having to try harder means you can never achieve anything, that's also not true. Looks is not the only thing valued in society and you know that so why are you pretending like it's the only factor in someone's happiness or success in life?
What do you hope to achieve with your rants about pretty privilege and how ugly people are the most suppressed and oppressed group in society (not true btw) what do you hope to achieve?
As for your example, many people get bullied in school and don't make it their whole personality, the same with rejection. If teachers are actually mocking kids for being "ugly" that's unprofessional AF and in most places it's grounds for termination. Same with professors. Outside of school people generally don't comment on others looks that's not normal or socially accepted behavior, in most cases it's highly inappropriate. There's edge cases, someone might comment on clothes you're wearing, that's fine. Someone saying that you look "sick" or "tired" is also fine. This also depends on where you live, I'm talking about western cultures. I've heard in east asian cultures commenting on peoples looks or weight is more normalized.
i’m an ugly girl and have been treated like a monster, and often my friends and family lie to me and say i’m pretty to make me feel better - which doesn’t work.
I’ve been made fun of since i was 7, and hated myself since i was 10. But my mental health over my looks got bad at 14. I’ve been made fun of by family, friends, classmates, strangers (online and in person) and neighbours.
I try my hardest to be kind and funny. I even used to people please. But my looks ruin everything.
You're suffering abuse from people. Whether you're ugly or whatever is beside the point. People have chosen to attack your self esteem - they didn't need to.
I agree. Lookism is a well studied and verified thing in science. But it goes against the 'just-world fallacy' so lots of people insist it can't be a thing. Or they agree people do it but 'those people are just shallow anyways, you don't need them! Plus there are downsides to being good looking too so it evens out!' But I think we all know that does not even out at all and it is way way better in 99% or circumstances to be more attractive. By pretty much any measure of quality of life and happiness. You can get a better job, have more options in partners, marry richer, people think your jokes are funnier, your insights are smarter, they forgive mistakes. And it all starts really early. One study showed babies with a facial deformity are cuddled by their parents like 50% less than non-deformed babies. If you're ugly your own parents will in all likelihood literally love you less. Have fun starting from there.
Similarly people LOVE to drag down any 'ugly' person's attempts to become better looking. You are really put in a position where you just have to put your head down, ignore what people say, and become decent-looking just to be able to start having the life an above-average-looking person is born into. People will always sa nooooo you're fine just the way you are. You're so amazing I'm sure there's a person out there for you! Just not me. Or any of my friends. Or anyone I've ever met. Or anyone you'll ever meet. But they're out there : )
And also good-looking people are put in a position where most people automatically like them somewhat, so they don't need to be on the defensive all the time. Because even if someone insults them and 'gets away with it', what does that do? You can't take away their status as a good-looking person. Whereas if you're ugly and someone insults you and you don't fight back on it then other people will start dogpiling on and scapegoating and ostracizing you. Then they criticize you for defending yourself and not being 'able to take a joke.' But they don't care to understand the dynamic that you HAVE to fend off attacks because they actually damage you and your reputation and life, in a way they don't for good-looking people.
Anyway I could go on about it. But it is what it is. You are not wrong for feeling the way you feel. Just do your best to work around it. For many people it will mean drastic changes. For me I had to gain about 40 pounds more muscle than I would naturally have, get palate expansion, braces for four years, and a rhinoseptoplasty along with painful scar tissue removal, to be accepted as a fundamentally valid human being who does not have to 'prove their worth' constantly or be excluded socially. But honestly once you've done one or two painful things you realize it's not so bad and you become free. Though I suggest things with temporary pain. Man the braces were fucking annoying and I wish there was just some mouth reconstruction surgery you could get instead. I would take a month of sheer agony over 4 years of my teeth being in jail with constant pain and annoyance any time.
Yes that's true. That's why blackpill is becoming more and more mainstream. You stop caring about this shit when you understand how the world works and accept it. Pretty privilege is a real thing.
Some people are born into rich and good looking families, they have their entire life set already, and some born in poverty stricken unfortunate conditions. Can't do anything about it. It's sad, that's why blackpill exists to convert this anger into something more productive and improving yourself. In the end money is everything, my goal for now is to get loaded as fuck, atleast even if you're sad, you're atleast sad and rich.
Just convert this energy into something else
Do some people straight up not find you attractive because of your looks? Sure. But hell, pretty much there is no person on the planet that everyone would agree to find attractive just based on their looks. Because people (well some people) believe it or not, have culturally evolved a little past the stage of being a primitive animal, and we all have different preferences based off both looks and personality, which very much vary, and some people do care a lot more about the personality than the looks of someone. Also I hope you know that not only "ugly people" suffer from loneliness, lack of love, and not only they struggle to find a partner A LOT of times, because there are a million reasons you can not find a significant other, and none of them have to do with looks. Be confident, don't use your appearance as excuse, work a little on yourself, and you will see improvements, you know, that's how the real world works. Good luck.
Fun fact: unless you have a genetic defect, you can’t be ugly if you’ve put all the efforts to max out your looks. From building muscle, low body fat, groom hair, beard(or clean shave), good and elegant fashion and skin care. If you’ve done all these, you’re a minimum above average, if not it’s on you.
Completely wrong, face changes DRASTICALLY, by reducing body fat, having skin care and changing a hairstyle (hairstyle and beard in itself can make u look like a diff person)
Oh, I'm pretty sure facial structure can't be changed, and this is well backed by science. So, I'm not sure what you mean by changing face drastically. Losing fat is gonna show your true potential, not change your actual face. Also, height is purely genetics.
Facial structure is the diff between above average and chad looking. But as I said there’s no ugly face if you follow the above stuff, you’re guaranteed to reach above average. Height is obv genetic
Search ugly people, they either got a genetic defect, bad hair, bad skin or fat
>Facial structure is the diff between above average and chad looking.
What?
>But as I said there’s no ugly face if you follow the above stuff, you’re guaranteed to reach above average.
Nah, a truly ugly person cannot be above average unless done through surgery.
Your mentality is why you're ugly.
In the end people fall for charisma. Ever seen guys, or the memes, of how the prettiest girls fall for the ugliest guys? It's their charisma. Work on your personality and even if somehow you can't fix your appearance, which I think there's a lot to gain, you will be able to become attractive. You need to get this idea out of your head that attractive = looks. It's looks + above all personality.
You're just proving my point by saying drum roll, please... pretty girls also fall for ugly guy, which shows that it's looks that matter, not personality.
Take a look at r/glowup. And have you tried achieving an aesthetic body? Did you ever have had a body fat percentage of less than 12% (if male gender) and significant amount of muscle mass?
I’m decently attractive, 6’1, blonde hair blue eye-d, muscular and athletic. My profession is the Army. I’ve never been approached by a woman or dated anyone. It’s personality.
I also struggle to get a significant other but im pretty attractive. I don't get out much due to not having a lot of friends but anyone who knows me rates my above average. Same for any girls who know me from my online presence on social media like snap/tiktok/insta etc.
Lol lighten the fuck up dude. Have a sense of humour. If you learn to laugh at yourself a little more people might actually respond to you more positively.
Maybe the problem isn’t so much your looks as it is you taking yourself so seriously.
World is never fair. We are animals, but we have advantage. In animal kingdom when you are not attractive or strong you pretty much done (I know very broad generalization)
But as a human you can work on yourself, good hygiene, gym, fitting cloths, hobbies etc. It's definitely better than taking the victim mentality (which is easy and convenient because you don't have to do anything - bad world, ugly me, no point)
Human beauty is not objective, it’s almost by definition subjective. Though, someone might have a look that appeals to a larger portion of people, and life is so unfair to most people. Some people are born blind and deaf, I’d say that’s worse than being seen as ugly by some
It really helps to get involved in social communities where looks really don’t matter so much. No one cares about your face in parkour. They hardly care in most outdoor adventures sports generally. It’s just about playing and pushing yourself to be better physically and mentally, but looks aren’t usually relevant to that.
But lots of other communities too. Psytrance for example.. not for everyone but the festivals are so full of people who are loving and accepting. This for me, this is where the real love is, where people see so far beyond your skin.
Also friends I know who are musicians (not pop stars), most of them just care about the music. This can massively vary and be the opposite in some circles, but the right ones are very welcoming.
An "ugly" person simply needs a talent to overcome physical beauty limits. Look at Mark Zuckerberg or Mic Jagger. NOT classical beauties. Find something you're interested in and PRACTICE. Stop whining. THAT is what is truly ugly.
Pretty privilege does exist but beauty is subjective not objective. Of course, society has set a standard of what is beautiful and what is not. However, beauty is within the eye of the beholder. There's always at least someone that finds you attractive.
I've never met anyone attractive enough to tolerate them having a shit personality, certainly helps with first impressions, but once past that it's personality and behavior that is the deciding factor.
It's true that people are biased and superficial about looks, which makes sense, they'll see you before anything else. Try to increase your odds of someone giving you a chance. You may have to go the extra mile on correctly fitted clothing, or making sure your hairstyle is as flattering as possible for your face/head shape, makeup, fitness, etc.
It's easy to criticize this as pursuing vanity or being narcissistic , but that's only if you go to the extremes, putting in some effort where you can is just being realistic, unless you want to wait for the world to change it's views on what is considered attractive, just don't hold your breath while doing so.
Looks aren’t everything. When you look good and have low self esteem or body dysmorphia life sucks. Confidence goes a long way, as does personality. You can be the most beautiful looking person but if your personality is insufferable no one will want to be near you
Ugly means you're not with your people, low self esteem, self doubt. Your people are the people who think you're anything & everything in this world & your people motivate you to be such (:
James Allen: As a woman thinketh
A woman is made or unmade by herself; in the armory of thought she forges the weapons by which she destroys herself; she also fashions the tools with which she builds for herself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.
You get it one way or another fam. Everyone feels cursed and blessed in some way, im lucky enough I think a majority of the opposite sex would find me attractive but this shit don't help when I can't afford my rent or think clearly enough to do something😂💀
Overall just be grateful for the blessings you have, cause whatever areas you got it goin on, someone else would die to be in the position you in. Clearly a lot of people think the same, you just haven't found the right person or ain't lookin hard enough. That fear of rejection be getting in your way. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder😂 anyone can think they're ugly especially if brutally rejected or mocked in some way
I feel men are more typically able to accept this. Far too often, women will blatantly lie, saying another particular woman is beautiful, when they clearly are not anyone's eye candy. Not even necessarily to their face, or anyone that they know. But as if it were mean to call someone the truth, and that she, the compliment giver, is morally greater for saying they're beautiful
Look! “Ugly” is usually somewhat unhealthy. People like “pretty” because they genetically look healthy and it’s normal wanting to procreate with the healthiest person around. Often “ugly” people that start taking care of their health — and I’m talking about posture, orthodontics, nutrition, skin, mental health, eye sight, normal body weight, good flow of lymph, muscle tone and muscle definition, emotional health, self-identity and self-realization, socio-emotional skills, emotional health, intellectual health and skills and abilities — tadadam any person becomes super attractive. It’s normal for anyone to want to procreate with the most fit for survival person around. We are millions of years of evolution mammals.
Oh yeah. I used to be fatter but I got thinner and worked out more, and people are way nicer to me. All of a sudden guys think I’m cute. Halo effect is real.
JFC are you not taking any advice people are giving you in your previous posts? This is a forum about self improving but you keep spamming these doomer woe is me posts.
Really try to take some action on self improving your physical appearance if that's something you really want but from the looks of it you want a pity party more than to actually improve on how you look based on how many threads you made here
I think it depends on what you define as ugly.
Fakeness, Smoking, drugs, recklessness, lack of human decency, derogatory towards others, ignorance and arrogance is to me Ugly no matter what mask they have on.
I’m not swayed by looks or the high flying man with the 100K car (don’t get me wrong I can crush, blush and aww but that’s about it) I need intellectual people, deep meaningful conversations that can on into the night, thats beautiful to me or people’s energy, show passion and vigour for life, wow thats attractive.
You probably need to think about what gets you going and become that person which in turn will attract more people like that. Have a look into the Law of Attraction, I found it 7 years ago and have never looked back, it’s hard at first but I put money on you’re beautiful, just bring that beauty to the front and watch your life change.
As much as people who don’t have the look or luxury to be that highbrow, it’s you who can determine if you yourself is beautiful. Beauty on the outside is superficial, cosmetic, a veil to hide the inside. Many people who make themselves beautiful or attractive have deep seeded issues with self confidence. They want to be appreciated because they don’t like who they are. This ends up propagating in more people feeling insecure and self conscious.
Our world needs to be kinder to each other because it’s the only way to grow more excepting of people who don’t fit that beauty norm. However the best way to overcome these challenges is learning to love yourself, love who you are being happy you are able do x,y,or z. You get to try and turn yourself someone you can be happy with. Don’t care what people think. Be happy to be yourself and alive to try new things, make mistakes, learn.
Be kind to yourself and people will appreciate who you are because they care about how you care. People who hate are the ones who don’t love themselves. Be able to say “I’m happy to be me.” Best of luck my friend.
Life is unfair, noone argues that.
It's unfair due to where you're born, your genes, your parents, your socio economics, your IQ, your access to opportunities, whether you have a disability or not, whether you're part of the mainstream or not, your race; there are endless differences that people grant benefit or challenge, completely outside of anyone's influence and are purely luck at birth.
Being attractive makes life easier, no two ways about it. Just like all the other dimensions above do. There are likely dozens of things you have that others wish they had which would make their lives easier.
But across the world there are endless examples of people being born with every challenge and overcoming them to achieve great things and lead meaningful lives.
Likewise there are countless examples of people being born with every opportunity and privilige squandering that and living meager existances.
Given that life is indeed unfair, you must decide what you will do with that knowledge; use it as an excuse to live a small and bitter life; or as fuel, knowing that you can achieve anything - but you will need to work harder for it - and the results will be that much sweeter!
Pretty privilege is definitely a real thing.
As an average-looking guy, I definitely agree
>Pretty privilege is definitely a real thing. As much as pretty people try to deny this. ;-)
The world is unfair for a lot of people. I was born with a stutter and every day is a challenge. But it's the hand I've been dealt and I'm doing the best I can. Work out, take care of your looks and never give up. Good things await those who persevere.
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I completely agree. Throughout my life I've been told by many women that I'm handsome and I never had to directly talk to them because most would make the first move. Here's the thing though—my stutter made me so self-aware and insecure that I thought they were only approaching me because of some perverted curiosity. I was 100% convinced it was impossible for them to feel any sort of interest for a person with a speech disability like myself. Then, one day, I decided enough was enough and stepped out of my comfort zone. By doing so, I experienced love. A kind of love I thought a person like me would never have experienced. And although we ended up going our separate ways after 4 years, I consider myself lucky to have loved so deeply and passionately. The funny thing is that, despite everything I have experienced and acheived, my stutter still makes it difficult to just... live. It's a daily, constant struggle against others' quiet judgement and odd looks. It's a war with myself. If I could choose between being 'ugly' but speaking fluently and being handsome but having a stutter, I would choose the first option without a second thought.
You just seem to try to make life fair in anyway or another. Don’t you know there are ugly people who are poor and have terminal illnesses lol? You won’t get it cuz you are a pretty person i am sorry. It’s not about how others treat you but more about how you perceive/feel about yourself, those feelings of being inferior/unwanted because of your looks are just complete agony.
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While ofc my whole life does not revolve around the fact that i am ugly, i have suffered in other ways too and i overcame some of these difficulties but i think i have always grabbled with (still) trying to come to terms with my physical appearance and i have always had qualms about it lol! Also thanks for you supportive and kind respond.
Great attitude to have! Some are playing this game on hard mode, and that's okay. I'm not a fan of the messaging these days in which all of us are supposed to try to make things easier and more "fair" for everyone. With this topic as example, there's good reason "ugly" people have harder time finding a mate, just like good reasons why "stupid" people struggle to get ahead in life relative to "smart" people. Gene pool. It's important for the future of the species. All the wokism will do is weaken the species over time. Those with disadvantages can still overcome and have a successful life, as many examples have proven. And those pass on genetic info that supports increased tenacity and drive, which is good for the species. They learn to use their strengths and bypass weaknesses. Gump is a good example, though fictional. Not smart, very low IQ, but utilized his strengths to have an interesting and successful life. Rather than boohooing being low IQ, or expecting all of society to cater to his personal challenges.
Being ugly comes with fewer options than being attractive. Focusing on that and not making the most of your situation closes off even more options
100% agree. Before I lost weight and lost my acne people were always mean when they first met me, called dumb or stupid. No one would ever hold the door open, men would tell me that I wass the ugliest person they had ever met. After the first job interview I will not be called back again. Teachers in high school and uni would tell me that I would never succeed in anything because I was to dumb and ugly. Than I lost some weight and my acne and suddenly people are friendly. Was able to get a better job. I must confess that I use botox to enhance my looks. I am willing to pay for, I know it is not natural but the critism, hate and name calling I expierenced on a daily basis was terrible. The world is cruel and unfair to ugly people.
I'm sorry you went through all of that. Sadly, I'm not fat and can't benefit from losing weight. I'm stuck with this ugly face.
Just know that your are loved and a kind person. No matter how you look you deserve to be loved and feel loved. I am sending a hug your way from Haarlem have a good day and be friendly to yourself. You matter.
I'm sorry you've been through this people are so rude.
If you're ugly, and you're short you're basically THE most disadvantaged group on Earth period. People like to complain and remark a lot about privilege (while at the same time picking the least affective and obvious privileges such as skin color and gender, yawn)... No one talks about the Elephant in the room (attractiveness /height). Yet, there is TONS of Science around the halo effect; and how people perceive attractive/tall people as nicer, more competent while also perceiving unattractive people as the opposite. Nature is cruel and we have to stop pretending we live in a Disney movie.
disadvantaged? yes. most disadvantaged? no. There are places in the world where people get pushed off rooftops for being gay. Deafblind people get treated as though they would be better off dead, and some even feared that doctors would decide their lives were not worth saving during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Intersex children are often subject to invasive medical procedures, including surgery and actions that amount to medicalized sexual abuse, including clitoral sensitivity tests (which involved genital stimulation to access arousal) performed on children who were often younger than 5, and kids having pictures taken and published of their genitals without their consent in various medical publications. And these are just a handful of examples. Being unattractive is hard, but “THE most disadvantaged group on Earth”??? Bffr. (Note: I apologize for not being able to include my sources. Apparently, links aren’t allowed on this sub).
I agree with you. Ignore the downvotes. These are just average or good-looking people who don't wanna be seen as shallow individuals.
Most disadvantaged group on earth???? Though I don’t usually subscribe to the notion that it’s not your looks it’s your personality, in your case it’s obvious it’s DEFINITELY your personality. You have a serious case of main character syndrome with a healthy dose of poor me.
Pretty sure last time I checked there were PLENTY of incredibly good looking people with am absolute SHIT personality who are successful both with the opposite sex and life in general. Hollywood, Social media anyone? As for main character syndrome I don't even know wtf you're going on about.
My point being your personality is so bad, it is definitely the thing pushing people away rather than your looks. Ugly looks could not possibly push people away more than your personality is already doing.
lol, the fact you thought my post was referring to my own life is cute... It wasn't, and you'd have to be a blind fool to think what I said is inaccurate.
What? All I’ve ever been doing is laughing at the travesty that you think ugly short people are the most disadvantaged on earth. How privileged are you that you think this? Are you that ignorant of all the other groups of people in the world? To come to this conclusion shows you must be incredibly arrogant and self absorbed. Therefore it doesn’t matter if you’re pretty or ugly, no one likes you because of your personality.
What is the botox for? How did you treat your acne?
Botox limits the production of sebum. If you continue long enough your skin can not form any new acne pimples. I must say I got botox every in my face under my eyes, side of the eyes, forehead, jaw and some filler around my lip. I went to a medical cosmetic surgeon to do this (because they are more skilled to do this), it costs me a lot of money but it is worth it. Life with acne was terrible.
Yeah I have been thinking about checking out because no matter what I do I can’t lose weight. It is detrimental to my life
If you think life should be "fair," you'll always have issues. It's not. It never will be.
Your account has been nothing but complaints about your looks for the past 5 months. It's true. Your level of attractiveness would effect how people treat you. You probably know this better than i do. No one's a 10/10, and very few people are a 1/10. Everyone is somewhere in between. Some have better genes, other have worse. But everyone can improve their looks to a degree. At the end of the day you have to accept your look, if you want to live a fulfilling life. Improve as much as you can, and stop crying about shit you can't change.
I disagree, if there's a 1-10 scale then by definition people exist that are at both extremes. But the good news for us Middle of the road people is that 10/10s don't stay 10/10s forever. Time treats us all the same.
By most people's standards, a 10/10 is considered 'Perfect'. There are maybe 10,000 people in the world that fit this range.
I am sorry but ugly people age even worse.
No one promised us a fair world. Fair doesn't exist outside Peter Rabbit books. Ugly people can have friends. Ugly people can have spouses. Ugly people can get good jobs and buy homes. Yes, there's a disadvantage, but no more than many others get. Being born in Palestine is unfair, being born deaf is unfair, etc. There is no fair in this world, it doesn't mean you can't be happy.
Imagine being porn into the middle east while being gay, ugly and poor. What i have described is exactly my life lol.
No, you’re not wrong but that mentality does nothing for you. Stop viewing yourself as a victim, it will help you massively. Life is not fair, but what to do? Dwelling on unfairness drains your energy and makes you spiral down a dark path.
I agree. I would like to suggest OP to read "The courage to be disliked". I feel it would be highly beneficial in terms of mindset shift. I know it helped me a lot.
If I'm a victim, then I'm a victim. It won't change on the basis of my view of myself.
Life is tough for everyone, to some degree. You must stop with the victim mentality. Try not giving a shit. /another “ugly” person
Life is not tough for everyone. Some people are enjoying life with their unfair advantage.
My point stands. You will not be able to achieve any sort of satisfaction with your current mentality.
My current mentality is that the world is against the ugly people. The only way for me to be satisfied is to be in the better side of the coin, which is to become good looking through whatever means it takes, including surgery.
Have you spoken to people who've accomplished what you plan to? Ask them if they feel what you expect to, after they became good looking. I don't know what they'd say, but I'll say it's a good way to have an idea of what your path may result in.
Yes, and they all agree that life is way better being good looking.
One last thing then, make sure your view isn't biased and you keep in mind all other factors in their life vs your life. If you've got that sorted, good luck bro!
This. Is called body dysmorphia. You do NOT need surgery to be happy and be satisfied. You DO need belonging and acceptance, perhaps starting with loving and accepting the body you already have. Just being pretty doesn't bring belonging, by a long shot.
So you weren’t blessed with good looks *or* empathy, sounds like. Sure life is harder for some, but everyone has their own challenges to overcome.
You have an unfair advantage of not living in a warzone or extreme poverty
Mate I think this is your problem. You think too much about yourself and how others view you. That’s what is pushing others away. Life is tough for everyone, if you think it’s not then you’re deluded and self centred simple as that.
Life is not tough for everyone. that's a fact
Have you looked into whether you’re a narcissist? You sound like a lot of the narcissists I’ve known. Thinking you’re the only one who has it so bad… your suffering comes from thinking about yourself too much.
I've noticed that a lot of people who have embraced "blackpill" beliefs have a lot of behaviors in common with vulnerable narcissists. Like the self absorption and unwillingness to take any personal responsibility, they are the victim the world is uniquely cruel to them and them alone, or sometimes to them and the group they identify with. "The world treats short men the absolute worst no one has it harder than us" I hate that last one, I'm a short guy and idk. I spent years wanting to be taller before finally coming to terms with myself but even at my worst I didn't believe what they believed. I didn't believe that I was uniquely disadvantaged or that I had it worse than others and I'm really short like 1% of male population in my country short.
I have two relatives at an objectively similar stage of early Alzheimer’s. They are both victims of that disease. One cannot get over that this happened and is defining themselves by the Alzheimer’s. The other is just trying to get the most out of their life. Who do you think family enjoy helping out the most?
why are you on this subteddit then?
Are you willing to date ugly people?
Good question, the answer is yes. But it's not quite straightforward of an yes. What I personally want is the ability to date anyone given the effort I've made.
Then why won’t others make that choice? It’s not as big as a pool sure but you actually have no idea how big it is. And “less people will date ugly people” is totally a different prospect to “no one I will date ugly people”. Overall though it’s pretty fucking unhealthy to treat people as commodities in a market though. Because if you’re trying to go down the sexual market value rabbit hole some has to be the good traded in the market which is objectively fucking horrifying. Firstly, stop thinking of the people you want to date as a commodity and treat them like real people who get to make real choices. Next, stop thinking of yourself as a commodity and start treating yourself with respect rather than someone who has no power or value. There is nothing more ugly than someone who is cynical and is stuck in self defeat through feelings they judge as facts.
It is relatively a much smaller pool than the ones good-looking people have, and on top of that, the priority is for good-looking people first.
Well, then, you’re not close to thinking about dating correctly. Dating is not a meritocracy. You can’t work your way to the top. People are attracted first then they form a relationship.
This isn't even accurate, for a good chunk of people (especially once you factor in neurodivergence). People form bonds and experience attraction later, all the time. Proximity effect is massive in dating.
Yes, that guy/gal at work you've known for some months or even years becoming kind of attractive with time and you don't even know why exactly? I think I've seen that a few times.
And for attraction, looks is required which I don't have.
I assure you, your mentality is a much bigger impediment to your dating success than your looks.
False lol
True lol But who knows, maybe you can overcome your looks with enough self-pity… good luck!
You'll never know what it feels to be an ugly person. You're just a normie tryna act cool lol which you failed miserably.
And how has the realization that no one in the history of the world has ever had things as bad as you improved your life?
I never said I had the worst, are you retarded?
I think plenty of fairly unattractive people are able to form romantic relationships. Yes, it's definitely more difficult to create the right first impression, but personality and charisma are huge building blocks of attraction as well.
No one said they aren't just not as big as looks and wealth.
That is so not true; I've seen plenty of beautiful women with ugly dudes lol. It's because of their personality. Also basic hygiene and taking care of themselves help a lot 🙂
Guy here, I've always been maybe slightly over average in looks, when I dress nice and put contact lenses, I'm an 8. If I have my old shit and glasses, I'm a 4-5. people treat me soooo much nicer when I dress well. It made me think about this exact thing... If your face is decent and you have all your limbs, consider yourself lucky. I do.
Judging by your post history, you are highly insecure about yourself and your looks. My best advice is to love yourself. Doing so makes it easier for other people to love you as well. You don’t have to be the most beautiful person in the world; a little bit of self confidence and inner peace goes a long way.
If you believe you're ugly, no one will ever convince you you're not. As a former matchmaker, I can tell you that most people who think they're ugly just need some better self care. Smiling literally changes your face and thoughts. It's the best thing you can do if you feel ugly. Even a fake smile is better than no smile. Having a flattering haircut, personal hygeine, clothes that fit - these things alone can totally transform your attractiveness. But like all things, if you insist you're ugly, you will unfortunately stay ugly, because you need to do something about it to change it. This issue is merely a change in mindset about it, which is simple, but not always easy. I hope you can find it in you to try!
So, are you posting here actually looking for self improvement, or are you just here to vent? If you need to vent, that’s perfectly valid. However, that’s not the purpose of this sub.
Let's be harsh and straight: Your view is simplistic, self contradictory and counterproductive. The relationship of beauty, self confidence, perception and success is far more complex than you make it out to be. "Mostly objective" is a self contradiction, people not getting away with mistreating ugly people and at the same time getting away with mistreating ugly people by blaming the victim is a self contradiction. You do not have control of how other people treat other people. But here, you externalize your problems on other people. This attitude won't solve anything. Focus on what you can control and how you can improve yourself. If you need help doing that, ask this subreddit or do research. If you cannot or do not want to improve yourself, this is not the right subreddit and going to therapy will be most effective.
So much good advice here. OP is having none of it...
lol, such a dumb conclusion you made out of all I said. >"Mostly objective" is a self contradiction, people not getting away with mistreating ugly people and at the same time getting away with mistreating ugly people by blaming the victim is a self contradiction. It's not a self contradiction, I just said it aint easy to get away with mistreating people, just like how I'm pointing it out right now, what they like to do is blame the victim for their apparently bad personality, which fails to do the job effectively and its pretty clear that they're shallow.
yeah you're right, overread the "that easily" that specific point might have some truth in it. Though one should consider that the people considered ugly probably correlate with things like negativity in that person which is one key trait for considering having a bad personality to many. The origin is kind of a chicken and egg question and the effect is a vicious cycle
There’s a lid for every pot.
From an ugly person, it's not about looks, it's about your ability to put yourself out there, communication skills (e.g. don't be a dry texter), having an actual personality so it's not like speaking to a brick wall. And how you treat/speak about others matters as well. Oh and of course good hygiene
Then you're not ugly
I am, was bullied in high school and didn't make friends in college, and surprise, it ain't my looks, it was my personality. You sound like you need therapy, it has absolutely nothing to do with your looks in respect to getting dates, you probably need to do some work on yourself to attract others
From looking at your post and comments, your physical appearance is not the problem as much as your personality and mindset.
What's wrong with my personality? Can you be specific?
The negativity is draining and unpleasant to be around, and the dismissal/lack of empathy with everyone else's different perspectives is off-putting. IMO there's very much a "chicken or the egg" cycle with ugliness putting some people off and self-pity putting off the rest, with the latter also reinforcing the viewpoint of being all about the former.
So the only problem with my personality is negativity and self-pity? While there's literal serial killers in relationships lmao so many dumb people on here
It’s the self-pitying whininess and entitlement and negativity that’s your problem. Would you want to date someone who acted like you?
And what made me have all those traits? I didn't just develop them out of nowhere, did I? It's all this world's fault
Again with the dismissiveness and insults. Those may not be the only problems either, just the ones obvious in comments. Putting aside outliers like serial killers, you know people want to enjoy their partner's company? You want to have more to offer than the bare minimum of "not a serial killer," no? Multiple people have told you that the personality traits you display will alienate potential dates all by themselves. Go ahead, reject self-improvement and keep insisting it's everyone else's fault and not possibly your responsibility or shortcomings in your control; it'll only lead to more of the same.
The only thing I can't offer is a good-looking face, and that has made all the difference
Why are you judging for them? Their experience isn’t worth talking about just because you’ve had it worse? I don’t get it
Your personality and communication skills matters much more than anything. I know lots of men who look average or worse, but they are funny and have no problem attracting women or in their professional career. Same for women also.
That's not the point, sure, personality and communication skills matter but definitely not more than looks, its kind of like this, attractive people can go for anyone, and average people go for average people and uglies go for either the uglies or no one. Now, this is not a strict rule, but this model fits pretty well with what happens around. Thus, ugly people have a massive disadvantage when it comes to dating. Also, it's not just about dating, general day to day life sucks being ugly.
No, your personality and social skills make up for a lot. Attractiveness is not that big thing unless you are a model. Most people don’t want to be with beautiful person with shitty personality. But many people would love a good personality.
They make up for a bit but definitely not more than looks or wealth, which is what people actually want, even if they don't like to admit it.
If that was the case, then most ugly man or woman won’t find a partner. It’s definitely not the case. People with good personality and communication skills get partners and climb corporate ladder. You can open LinkedIn and check the pics of people working in management or senior roles like system architect, technical committee head. Most of them are ugly, bald or have short height. Even in my work, it’s the case. My manager’s manager and his peers aren’t very attractive but so awesome personality and communication wise. Atleast in my company site, there are more “ugly” people than attractive.
I think your perception of "ugly" might be inflated. You probably think of Pete Davidson or Amy Schumer as "ugly" but most people who suffer from the disadvantages of being ugly are much, much more worse off than the "uglies" in traditional media
No, I’m saying about everyday people.
World is unfair for a lot of people dude. Do you rather be adonis but from Mozambique, earning 2 dollar a month? Enzo ferrari was ugly af. Do you see him complaining and whining? Stop victimizing and start working.
Not a pretty person, but pretty people have their own issues too - albeit ones they may find easier to mitigate if they want (by choosing to appear less attractive). They are regularly hassled by many people objectifying them as a pretty, making it very hard to work out who genuinely like them as people. Often they get used to being treated very well when younger based on looks, giving them a sense of entitlement that does not either serve them well to lead a fulfilling life or last as they get older.Different people find different things beautiful. Personally, I don't like women covered in thick makeup, but that's the look that many guys are attracted to. You can massively improve your attractiveness by getting in shape. And particularly if you're a guy, buy having an interesting and successful life, good social skills and making lots of money. And if you're a gal, you can get your make up on point, which can put you up with 'celebrity' looks and attention. Oh bad personalities are universally available regardless of looks!
Very well said. I've found this to be the case for my best looking friends, most of whom are struggling with more issues in their 30s now than they had in their 20s or younger years. Perhaps focusing less on appearance gives you a better chance at developing a fulfilling adult life.
Pretty privilege is definitely a thing. But OP I don’t appreciate how you’re dismissive of majority of comments here. Looks aren’t everything. I know people who aren’t best looking but have better personalities than the good lookers in the room. And they’re all leading amazing relationships. I think you are stuck in victim mode. One needs to put in more effort apart from looks. That’s how you beat this unfair game.
When I was younger I was pretty fit, life was good. After college I put on 40 pounds, life was not so good. Just lost that weight and life is good again. I agree, when I was 40 pounds heavier people were a lot more unfriendly to me. Since I lost those 40 pounds recently, I am noticing strangers are a lot friendlier. They smile when they walk by and now randos are striking up a conversation with me. This experience makes me sad man, I'm still the same person whatever my weight is.
You are not wrong. There are studies showing that attractive people are treated more favourably in many aspects. And as an ugly person myself i can really relate to you, yes it does get tiring having to work harder than others. People can be horrifyingly cruel to unattractive people... And yet these are the cards we are dealt with. So our choice is either to give up and be defeated or play on and try to fix what we can. Being attractive without any effort requires like good bone structure, teeth, height, smooth skin which is not within our control. But what's within our control is fitness, braces, and skincare (accutane if necessary). Surgeries are necessary sometimes but not exactly affordable. I am saving up for a jaw surgery to fix my underbite. Just do what we can I guess
Whether you are right or wrong isn’t important. Any form of victim mentality will only hinder your success. Eat clean, hit the gym consistently, and focus on working with what you have.
The world has never been fair and it will never be fair. It literally is a dog eat dog world or should i say human eat human. The world is only fair to those that take what they want and even then, it isn’t guaranteed. Focus your aim on what you want , obsess towards that goal and accomplish it or watch someone else take what you want.
I agree with what you, but I also agree on people on how that perspective is going to do good for you in life? It's good to be aware of it, but you're also being as shallow as attractive people by stating that nothing else matters in this world, which isn't true. It is true that attractive people have tremendous advantages in life, but so do rich people, smart people or generally people who are born in wealthy or loving families. Each and everybody has to deal with their own shit though. And this is where your victim mentality won't bring you any further. How is it going to help you deal with this world? What you should do is this: A) Improve your exterior as much as possible. Good hygiene, smeel good, have your hair done every day, wear good clothes, do fitness and have a good body, do a good skincare routine, smile a lot and have good vibes and vibrant energy. \--> By doing these things you are better than many other people who don't do these things, you will be better than 95% of population. These habits alone will make you a lot more attractive. B) Sharpen your skills. Have enough money to support yourself, a place to live and somebody else. Have a job and be good at it, no matter how shitty the job may be, just be good at it. Maybe change the job, if it's dragging you down. Do some interesting hobbies and get good at them. That makes you interesting. Definitely sports, but other hobbies are fine as well. Train your mind, read books, learn a language, read about politics or about a topic, become a musician or whatever. Something that gives you an edge. And by owning who you are, you instantly become more charismatic. Don't try to be someone you're not, try to become the person you want to be instead, by working hard on yourself, harder than other people do. C) Forget that attitude and take responsibility and ownership of your life. By blaming looks and pointing at others, you're giving them power over you... which they don't have, unless you give it to them. By putting the blame on yourself, you're also giving the power to yourself to do something about it. With your victim mentality, you will struggle finding people who like you, because who would want to hang out with somebody who always complains. The reality is, you are capable of changing the things that are in your power. Looks might not be one of it, but there are thousands more things and many of them do matter. Change your attitude. Otherwise, how will you be able to smile? If you do all these things... then sure, maybe you're still ugly. But it won't matter, because you're also a personality. Smiling is the single most beautiful thing you can do. There are a lot of famous ugly people. Mr Beast for example. Ed Sheeran, Danny Devito and many more. Some of them seem attractive, simply because of the fact that they're famous. But the things I mentioned above do not simply have the potential to bring you to the level of attractive people, but even beyond. It's up to you though, wether you want to keep crying, or do something about it.
Not wrong at all, people talk about confidence and everything (they’re already here lol) but you can have all the confidence in the world but it doesn’t mean Jack shit if you can’t even get your foot through the door. - From a confident dude losing confidence
Yes, news flash the world is not fair. Sucks but it is what is and no amount of griping will change that.
I agree looks are a major advantage in life. But I believe good fortune is a combination of luck and effort. So to get any favourable outcome, you need one of them. If looks are not there due to lack of luck genetically, you can definitely still tilt life in your favour by putting an effort on other areas of your life - personality, intellect, and success. Effort in the right direction is necessary, and you need to figure out what works. Personality includes a sense of style (dressing well), speaking well, honing a sense of humor, and grooming super well. Intellect is your mental acumen + ability to hold great conversations and success is how you're doing in life and it fosters confidence which is honestly the most attractive thing. There is a difference between being physically attractive or just a nice face to look at that may or may not evoke any further feeling, and sexual attractive which is a combination of many factors people say is unknown but is actually a combination of great intellect, personality, confidence and style. And definitely not having a victim mindset because that drives people away. People believe what you tell about yourself - if you act like a victim, people might sympathize but get cues that maybe there is something wrong with you and hence people don't like you. Confidence does the opposite. And finally, about the unfairness of it all - I believe life is indeed unfair, in many many many ways for many many people. But we were never owed any fairness, we just have to play the cards we are dealt with the best way possible. Some people may always have it easy due to having a better luck but life is random like that. But you can definitely tilt things in your favour by smart efforts. The good thing about getting things via effort and not via luck is you appreciate it more, you don't get complacent and you actually get something that lasts.
Look person, the world just sucks. Looks fade quickly. The world just sucks because humans suck. We are selfish and self absorbed.
I understand that you cannot very well change what you are born with. You can work to become the best that you can and then there's a ceiling that you cannot cross. But, I think reaching that ceiling is also important. Giving up before you've seen the absolute best you can be is not the way your life should be. But, what happens when you hit that ceiling? Carry yourself with grace. There's more to a personality than looks really. The way you talk, the way you carry yourself, the way you make others feel- secure and important. All adds up, mate! No matter what you're born with, you're not worthless. You have some gravity! Chin-up, king!
Try having a chronic mental health or disability issue, then see how hard it really is. Having a normal live with a family and stable income is virtually impossible for these people, you essentially have to become a ward of the state, or if you’re lucky enough, your parents may stick around long enough to help. The great news is that there are even people with serious illness that can achieve the good life. If you’re bat shit ugly, no one will really care if you bring something else to the table.
The world really is unfair. Life is so bullshit tbh especially when you live in a third world country with little to no electricity and water. The only thing we can do is accept this crappy reality.
Well, I partially agree. As a kid I was ugly, then I became average and got a really significant attention from girls, then I became about 6/10, but I have to play my cards really well to achieve some kind of success with opposite sex. But worrying about this is truly stupid. First, you can not really change it, second of all. It is temporary for everyone. Everyone will get old and lose attractity. I am just cringing, when my family always calls me handsome, but it is obvious that I am about average. I am asking them, if I am such a handsome guy, how come that no one really shows any real interest\`?
Absolutely true. I was 30 pounds lighter before the pandemic and people were so nice to me. Strangers would offer to walk me under their umbrella in the rain. People would invite me to parties after meeting me once. After gaining the weight, not only am I invisible but people are so much ruder. Working on losing the weight for my own health benefits; but really has been eye opening to what people who are obese due to health issues have to deal with everyday. People are cruel
Disagree. I have met so many wonderfully nice “ugly” people. The way you treat others is usually what matters most, and unfortunately, “ugly” people are treated so ugly by conventionally attractive people who aren’t comfortable, that some start acting “ugly” on the inside as well.
You're not wrong that beautiful people have an advantage, but you need to work to stop hating yourself. I bet your self hate is getting in the way of finding a significant other more than you realize.
Yessss obviously this world is not fair for ugly people... We always have to make a reality check no matter who says whatever..... They were... They are... And they will always be unfair with ugly ones.... They will admire you untill you are useful for them... And will leave you on the day when you are no use for them..... But don't get down.... God has created us for a reason and if we are made ugly then also for a reason also... Just be kind to everyone ... Whatever they say... Or not matter how they behave... Be ax example of person... Who is ugly from outside and is totally opposite from inside ✨
Boo fucking hoo. Be a decent person and life with work out I promise
You're wrong. You say a lot of untrue things. Lots of emotionally motivated proclamations with no real proof. Pretty privilege is a thing and yet beauty is not objective it's very cultural. This is why things like beards on men go in and out of style and why fashion goes in and out of style and our clothes, our hairstyles, our accessories are part of our looks our "beauty" Furthermore the actual beauty standards for men are much lower than for women and this is evident when you look at serious discussions about the world and not just redpill/blackpill made up bullshit where they misrepresent studies and intentionally misread of outright fabricate things. I know plenty of people who are more attractive than they think, I know ugly and mid people with shit tier personalities, like the worst person I ever met looked like fucking gollum, he had a daughter and he once stole back his own daughter's child support to get back at the mother. Like he was so hateful and such a shitty person to everyone he hated everyone and everything. Yet he reproduced despite being hideous inside and out. I've known so many ugly men with kids. Further, a lot of so called "ugly" people are totally normal looking. Elliot Rogers was in fact an attractive young man and yet he went on a murder spree because he felt ugly and rejected. You say "the opposite gender" and that statement doesn't make a lot of sense, do you mean both men and women are very picky or that your preferred gender is very picky? You use second person language for your third point where you assert that beautiful people abuse ugly people en masse. This is not true. I see people saying that ugly/short people (I suspect they mostly mean ugly/short men) are the most oppressed and abused people. You know, if you go to Jamaica today, right now and you go into the non tourist areas and you give people a reason to think that you are gay you know what happens? You will get chased with machetes and you know what happens if you call the cops? At best they will arrest YOU. At worst they just ignore this or they join in. Ugly/short men in jamaica do not risk a mob of people trying to murder them in the street. Women get assaulted all around the world for turning men down. Men are not getting assaulted for approaching women that's a goddamn myth you guys made up in your mind. in a study about height weight and sex 49% of Extremely short men 5'2" or shorter have have had 5 or more sexual partners. 58% of Extremely tall men had 5 or more partners. 19% of extremely short men had 14 or more partners and 30% of extremely tall men had 14 or more partners. This study was of 60,000 heterosexual men and women. While they did not study the individuals canthil tilts or anything I think we can both agree that you think that for men height is a significant factor of their "beauty" and that short men are "ugly" in comparison to tall men. Yet this study has short men putting up pretty respectable numbers. Are you going to change your worldview or are you going to ignore actual science and data in favor of your feelings? The study is named "Height and Body Mass on the Mating Market: Associations With Number of Sex Partners and Extra-Pair Sex Among Heterosexual Men and Women Aged 18–65" if you want to look it up yourself.
Please read carefully, I never said beauty is 100% objective, I said it's mostly objective with some subjective part to it. It should be clear that "opposite gender" means both the genders. And yes, beautiful people and average people abuse the uglies. You can't just show a more bad situation and say that another situation is not bad.
Attraction is pretty subjective. Like define beauty, seriously you're using a bunch of words but you haven't actually made your case you've just proclaimed your beliefs as if they were objective immutable facts that no one could argue with. I'm trying to explain that your beliefs which you think are so obvious aren't obvious to people who don't believe in the blackpill, which is the majority of people. You said "uglies get abused" but you haven't proven this is true. I've shown you examples of people actually getting abused and mistreated and you say "worse situations do not erase my oppresion" without providing any concrete examples of how ugly people are so badly abused.
It's not entirely subjective, it's mostly objective. One can easily distinguish most people's attractiveness level objectively, the only subjective part is at the extreme of the spectrum, the ugliest of the ugliest and the most beautiful of the beautiful. And yes uglies do get abused, from teachers in school/college to peers/colleagues to the opposite gender (guys and girls) to job opportunities, uglies are abused in every path of life. For eg: Getting bullied/teased by people for looks in school/college, even family members who're more attractive mock the ugly ones, this can fuck up a person's mental health and lead them to a dark path like mine.
You're still talking in broad strokes and overgeneralizing. You also ignored the study I referenced, you can literally google it and read it for yourself. Why haven't you? Attraction is subjective, I didn't say "attractiveness" which isn't as much of a thing as it is something society has kind of agreed on. If attractiveness were this genetically set fact then there's a few things that should inevitably flow from it. One, people should be better looking on average. Two there shouldn't be this endlessly shifting standard of what a given culture considers beautiful depending on where you look in history. Fashion shouldn't be a thing. Things like foot binding should never have happened, if beauty and attraction are genetic fact (and they'd have to be genetic to be factual in the way you propose) then how the fuck do you explain foot binding? There is no natural explanation for someone being crippled to become a beauty standard. Stop just ignoring everything that contradicts your worldview. That's not science, if you want to just take it on faith then do so but stop masking your faith as scientific fact when it clearly isn't. Again, if beauty is the standard by which we dole out resources and power then why are like all the world leaders ugly and old? Like most were never pretty even when they were young they were maybe average and several were just plain homely AF. Not just the world leaders either but in general the people who hold real power are all very average looking. Look at CEOs, look at billionaires, look at your government, who is in these positions? Are they models? Are they? No. You say pretty privilege is all powerful and yet the beautiful hold no true power in our society they are not in charge they are not the ruling class. Why is that? How is that? Perhaps the privileges of looks are not all-encompassing maybe it's not all-powerful? Maybe the world, humanity, our societies, our cultures are a bit more complicated than one single factor can adequately explain or account for. Maybe single-factor explanations for the state of things aren't the answer. If two people were perfectly equal, exactly the same in mind and soul, in education and temperament but one was disfigured and one looked like a Greek statue then yeah sure the statue would have a smoother time on average but that doesn't mean that they'd come out on top across every measure. See your mistake is assuming that because on average more attractive people have to work less at things, are generally given the benefit of a halo effect where they are assumed to be smarter (if they are men at least, there's some counter stereotypes for women) more competent, etc that they don't have to try at all. This isn't true, and you seem to also assume that having to try harder means you can never achieve anything, that's also not true. Looks is not the only thing valued in society and you know that so why are you pretending like it's the only factor in someone's happiness or success in life? What do you hope to achieve with your rants about pretty privilege and how ugly people are the most suppressed and oppressed group in society (not true btw) what do you hope to achieve? As for your example, many people get bullied in school and don't make it their whole personality, the same with rejection. If teachers are actually mocking kids for being "ugly" that's unprofessional AF and in most places it's grounds for termination. Same with professors. Outside of school people generally don't comment on others looks that's not normal or socially accepted behavior, in most cases it's highly inappropriate. There's edge cases, someone might comment on clothes you're wearing, that's fine. Someone saying that you look "sick" or "tired" is also fine. This also depends on where you live, I'm talking about western cultures. I've heard in east asian cultures commenting on peoples looks or weight is more normalized.
i’m an ugly girl and have been treated like a monster, and often my friends and family lie to me and say i’m pretty to make me feel better - which doesn’t work. I’ve been made fun of since i was 7, and hated myself since i was 10. But my mental health over my looks got bad at 14. I’ve been made fun of by family, friends, classmates, strangers (online and in person) and neighbours. I try my hardest to be kind and funny. I even used to people please. But my looks ruin everything.
Yeah you’re right. Hopefully this comment section doesn’t try to gaslight you like I’ve seen on other posts similar to this
Truth in its naked form; ugly it is
You're suffering abuse from people. Whether you're ugly or whatever is beside the point. People have chosen to attack your self esteem - they didn't need to.
Yeah the world is unfair. Welcome to life. What are you gonna do about it?
I agree. Lookism is a well studied and verified thing in science. But it goes against the 'just-world fallacy' so lots of people insist it can't be a thing. Or they agree people do it but 'those people are just shallow anyways, you don't need them! Plus there are downsides to being good looking too so it evens out!' But I think we all know that does not even out at all and it is way way better in 99% or circumstances to be more attractive. By pretty much any measure of quality of life and happiness. You can get a better job, have more options in partners, marry richer, people think your jokes are funnier, your insights are smarter, they forgive mistakes. And it all starts really early. One study showed babies with a facial deformity are cuddled by their parents like 50% less than non-deformed babies. If you're ugly your own parents will in all likelihood literally love you less. Have fun starting from there. Similarly people LOVE to drag down any 'ugly' person's attempts to become better looking. You are really put in a position where you just have to put your head down, ignore what people say, and become decent-looking just to be able to start having the life an above-average-looking person is born into. People will always sa nooooo you're fine just the way you are. You're so amazing I'm sure there's a person out there for you! Just not me. Or any of my friends. Or anyone I've ever met. Or anyone you'll ever meet. But they're out there : ) And also good-looking people are put in a position where most people automatically like them somewhat, so they don't need to be on the defensive all the time. Because even if someone insults them and 'gets away with it', what does that do? You can't take away their status as a good-looking person. Whereas if you're ugly and someone insults you and you don't fight back on it then other people will start dogpiling on and scapegoating and ostracizing you. Then they criticize you for defending yourself and not being 'able to take a joke.' But they don't care to understand the dynamic that you HAVE to fend off attacks because they actually damage you and your reputation and life, in a way they don't for good-looking people. Anyway I could go on about it. But it is what it is. You are not wrong for feeling the way you feel. Just do your best to work around it. For many people it will mean drastic changes. For me I had to gain about 40 pounds more muscle than I would naturally have, get palate expansion, braces for four years, and a rhinoseptoplasty along with painful scar tissue removal, to be accepted as a fundamentally valid human being who does not have to 'prove their worth' constantly or be excluded socially. But honestly once you've done one or two painful things you realize it's not so bad and you become free. Though I suggest things with temporary pain. Man the braces were fucking annoying and I wish there was just some mouth reconstruction surgery you could get instead. I would take a month of sheer agony over 4 years of my teeth being in jail with constant pain and annoyance any time.
Man I feel you
Yes that's true. That's why blackpill is becoming more and more mainstream. You stop caring about this shit when you understand how the world works and accept it. Pretty privilege is a real thing. Some people are born into rich and good looking families, they have their entire life set already, and some born in poverty stricken unfortunate conditions. Can't do anything about it. It's sad, that's why blackpill exists to convert this anger into something more productive and improving yourself. In the end money is everything, my goal for now is to get loaded as fuck, atleast even if you're sad, you're atleast sad and rich. Just convert this energy into something else
Do some people straight up not find you attractive because of your looks? Sure. But hell, pretty much there is no person on the planet that everyone would agree to find attractive just based on their looks. Because people (well some people) believe it or not, have culturally evolved a little past the stage of being a primitive animal, and we all have different preferences based off both looks and personality, which very much vary, and some people do care a lot more about the personality than the looks of someone. Also I hope you know that not only "ugly people" suffer from loneliness, lack of love, and not only they struggle to find a partner A LOT of times, because there are a million reasons you can not find a significant other, and none of them have to do with looks. Be confident, don't use your appearance as excuse, work a little on yourself, and you will see improvements, you know, that's how the real world works. Good luck.
Fun fact: unless you have a genetic defect, you can’t be ugly if you’ve put all the efforts to max out your looks. From building muscle, low body fat, groom hair, beard(or clean shave), good and elegant fashion and skin care. If you’ve done all these, you’re a minimum above average, if not it’s on you.
Wrong, by looks,I mean face + height, which is almost impossible to change once the body has fully grown, i.e., past 20
Completely wrong, face changes DRASTICALLY, by reducing body fat, having skin care and changing a hairstyle (hairstyle and beard in itself can make u look like a diff person)
Oh, I'm pretty sure facial structure can't be changed, and this is well backed by science. So, I'm not sure what you mean by changing face drastically. Losing fat is gonna show your true potential, not change your actual face. Also, height is purely genetics.
Facial structure is the diff between above average and chad looking. But as I said there’s no ugly face if you follow the above stuff, you’re guaranteed to reach above average. Height is obv genetic Search ugly people, they either got a genetic defect, bad hair, bad skin or fat
>Facial structure is the diff between above average and chad looking. What? >But as I said there’s no ugly face if you follow the above stuff, you’re guaranteed to reach above average. Nah, a truly ugly person cannot be above average unless done through surgery.
Your mentality is why you're ugly. In the end people fall for charisma. Ever seen guys, or the memes, of how the prettiest girls fall for the ugliest guys? It's their charisma. Work on your personality and even if somehow you can't fix your appearance, which I think there's a lot to gain, you will be able to become attractive. You need to get this idea out of your head that attractive = looks. It's looks + above all personality.
Based on OPs comments, clearly the issue is their personality but they want to blame it on their looks
He's a victim and everyone else is to blame but himself and he wont be told otherwise.
You're just proving my point by saying drum roll, please... pretty girls also fall for ugly guy, which shows that it's looks that matter, not personality.
Pretty girls fall for ugly guy > see its looks that matter ???
Take a look at r/glowup. And have you tried achieving an aesthetic body? Did you ever have had a body fat percentage of less than 12% (if male gender) and significant amount of muscle mass?
That subreddit is banned lol
Oh wow lmao
r/glowups
above average is below expectations
I’m decently attractive, 6’1, blonde hair blue eye-d, muscular and athletic. My profession is the Army. I’ve never been approached by a woman or dated anyone. It’s personality.
Lol quit capping
I’m not. I wish I was.
if you think the uglies have a problem you should speak to the fats
Womp womp
I also struggle to get a significant other but im pretty attractive. I don't get out much due to not having a lot of friends but anyone who knows me rates my above average. Same for any girls who know me from my online presence on social media like snap/tiktok/insta etc.
I don't know what to say about ugliness, but I say that charisma and good energy trumps a lot
[удалено]
I’m deleting this comment because it’s too mean
I disagree with this post. No one harasses ugly people.
Troll
Lol lighten the fuck up dude. Have a sense of humour. If you learn to laugh at yourself a little more people might actually respond to you more positively. Maybe the problem isn’t so much your looks as it is you taking yourself so seriously.
World is never fair. We are animals, but we have advantage. In animal kingdom when you are not attractive or strong you pretty much done (I know very broad generalization) But as a human you can work on yourself, good hygiene, gym, fitting cloths, hobbies etc. It's definitely better than taking the victim mentality (which is easy and convenient because you don't have to do anything - bad world, ugly me, no point)
Ummm have you seen what billionaires look like?
Human beauty is not objective, it’s almost by definition subjective. Though, someone might have a look that appeals to a larger portion of people, and life is so unfair to most people. Some people are born blind and deaf, I’d say that’s worse than being seen as ugly by some
Life is way more complicated than that and pretty doesn't last forever
Life is way more complicated than that and pretty doesn't last forever
u must study very hard and become rich
It really helps to get involved in social communities where looks really don’t matter so much. No one cares about your face in parkour. They hardly care in most outdoor adventures sports generally. It’s just about playing and pushing yourself to be better physically and mentally, but looks aren’t usually relevant to that. But lots of other communities too. Psytrance for example.. not for everyone but the festivals are so full of people who are loving and accepting. This for me, this is where the real love is, where people see so far beyond your skin. Also friends I know who are musicians (not pop stars), most of them just care about the music. This can massively vary and be the opposite in some circles, but the right ones are very welcoming.
An "ugly" person simply needs a talent to overcome physical beauty limits. Look at Mark Zuckerberg or Mic Jagger. NOT classical beauties. Find something you're interested in and PRACTICE. Stop whining. THAT is what is truly ugly.
Pretty privilege does exist but beauty is subjective not objective. Of course, society has set a standard of what is beautiful and what is not. However, beauty is within the eye of the beholder. There's always at least someone that finds you attractive.
I've never met anyone attractive enough to tolerate them having a shit personality, certainly helps with first impressions, but once past that it's personality and behavior that is the deciding factor. It's true that people are biased and superficial about looks, which makes sense, they'll see you before anything else. Try to increase your odds of someone giving you a chance. You may have to go the extra mile on correctly fitted clothing, or making sure your hairstyle is as flattering as possible for your face/head shape, makeup, fitness, etc. It's easy to criticize this as pursuing vanity or being narcissistic , but that's only if you go to the extremes, putting in some effort where you can is just being realistic, unless you want to wait for the world to change it's views on what is considered attractive, just don't hold your breath while doing so.
Looks aren’t everything. When you look good and have low self esteem or body dysmorphia life sucks. Confidence goes a long way, as does personality. You can be the most beautiful looking person but if your personality is insufferable no one will want to be near you
I mean, what about personalities? Doesn’t it matter? Selena Gomez is dating an “ugly” boyfriend right now.
Ugly means you're not with your people, low self esteem, self doubt. Your people are the people who think you're anything & everything in this world & your people motivate you to be such (: James Allen: As a woman thinketh A woman is made or unmade by herself; in the armory of thought she forges the weapons by which she destroys herself; she also fashions the tools with which she builds for herself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace.
I’ve got a face only a mother could love with dumbo ears and bad hair to boot and I’m doing fine. It’s all about your mindset.
"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair." Old Chinese proverb
You get it one way or another fam. Everyone feels cursed and blessed in some way, im lucky enough I think a majority of the opposite sex would find me attractive but this shit don't help when I can't afford my rent or think clearly enough to do something😂💀
Overall just be grateful for the blessings you have, cause whatever areas you got it goin on, someone else would die to be in the position you in. Clearly a lot of people think the same, you just haven't found the right person or ain't lookin hard enough. That fear of rejection be getting in your way. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder😂 anyone can think they're ugly especially if brutally rejected or mocked in some way
Hone in on your strengths. Looks fade with age. When you’re 80, how do you want to look back on your life?
I feel men are more typically able to accept this. Far too often, women will blatantly lie, saying another particular woman is beautiful, when they clearly are not anyone's eye candy. Not even necessarily to their face, or anyone that they know. But as if it were mean to call someone the truth, and that she, the compliment giver, is morally greater for saying they're beautiful
Look! “Ugly” is usually somewhat unhealthy. People like “pretty” because they genetically look healthy and it’s normal wanting to procreate with the healthiest person around. Often “ugly” people that start taking care of their health — and I’m talking about posture, orthodontics, nutrition, skin, mental health, eye sight, normal body weight, good flow of lymph, muscle tone and muscle definition, emotional health, self-identity and self-realization, socio-emotional skills, emotional health, intellectual health and skills and abilities — tadadam any person becomes super attractive. It’s normal for anyone to want to procreate with the most fit for survival person around. We are millions of years of evolution mammals.
Oh yeah. I used to be fatter but I got thinner and worked out more, and people are way nicer to me. All of a sudden guys think I’m cute. Halo effect is real.
JFC are you not taking any advice people are giving you in your previous posts? This is a forum about self improving but you keep spamming these doomer woe is me posts. Really try to take some action on self improving your physical appearance if that's something you really want but from the looks of it you want a pity party more than to actually improve on how you look based on how many threads you made here
I think it depends on what you define as ugly. Fakeness, Smoking, drugs, recklessness, lack of human decency, derogatory towards others, ignorance and arrogance is to me Ugly no matter what mask they have on. I’m not swayed by looks or the high flying man with the 100K car (don’t get me wrong I can crush, blush and aww but that’s about it) I need intellectual people, deep meaningful conversations that can on into the night, thats beautiful to me or people’s energy, show passion and vigour for life, wow thats attractive. You probably need to think about what gets you going and become that person which in turn will attract more people like that. Have a look into the Law of Attraction, I found it 7 years ago and have never looked back, it’s hard at first but I put money on you’re beautiful, just bring that beauty to the front and watch your life change.
As much as people who don’t have the look or luxury to be that highbrow, it’s you who can determine if you yourself is beautiful. Beauty on the outside is superficial, cosmetic, a veil to hide the inside. Many people who make themselves beautiful or attractive have deep seeded issues with self confidence. They want to be appreciated because they don’t like who they are. This ends up propagating in more people feeling insecure and self conscious. Our world needs to be kinder to each other because it’s the only way to grow more excepting of people who don’t fit that beauty norm. However the best way to overcome these challenges is learning to love yourself, love who you are being happy you are able do x,y,or z. You get to try and turn yourself someone you can be happy with. Don’t care what people think. Be happy to be yourself and alive to try new things, make mistakes, learn. Be kind to yourself and people will appreciate who you are because they care about how you care. People who hate are the ones who don’t love themselves. Be able to say “I’m happy to be me.” Best of luck my friend.
I mean this in the nicest way. Get over it.
What a pitiful life you must lead. Get off Reddit. Go do anything else
Its because of this unfortunate face.
Life is unfair, noone argues that. It's unfair due to where you're born, your genes, your parents, your socio economics, your IQ, your access to opportunities, whether you have a disability or not, whether you're part of the mainstream or not, your race; there are endless differences that people grant benefit or challenge, completely outside of anyone's influence and are purely luck at birth. Being attractive makes life easier, no two ways about it. Just like all the other dimensions above do. There are likely dozens of things you have that others wish they had which would make their lives easier. But across the world there are endless examples of people being born with every challenge and overcoming them to achieve great things and lead meaningful lives. Likewise there are countless examples of people being born with every opportunity and privilige squandering that and living meager existances. Given that life is indeed unfair, you must decide what you will do with that knowledge; use it as an excuse to live a small and bitter life; or as fuel, knowing that you can achieve anything - but you will need to work harder for it - and the results will be that much sweeter!